So, what I'm going to preach to you about this morning, the title of the sermon is
Thoughts on Mourning. Thoughts on Mourning. Now, obviously this is a sermon that's something I've
been thinking about a lot lately, mourning. If you're not familiar with that, when people are
going through a time of grievance in their life. And of course, we know that there's folks here
that are going through that, and not just one group of people either. There's several people
in our church here and also up in Phoenix that have recently suffered tragic losses in their
life. I normally try not to preach a pointed sermon on this, but I felt like this is an
appropriate topic. Because, as I was mentioning to somebody a few weeks ago, I can't recall a time
that I've seen so many people's lives touched by tragedy through the death of a loved one, as I have
this last holiday season. Of course, it's never a convenient time to experience something like that,
but I believe that those type of things are even compounded when they happen or occur during a time
of year that are supposed to be very joyful and rejoicing, and these tragedies take place. So,
it's not just folks here. We could talk about folks up in Tempe. I know somebody
that lost a father, a young father, very unexpectedly, just out of the blue, just a few
days, I believe it was before Christmas. And another couple over in a church in Verity, a young
couple that lost a very young baby, a newborn, just unexpectedly. These things were happening
one after another, and we know there's folks here that have suffered loss as well. So, normally,
if it had been something that only happened once or twice, I would probably just try to
maybe not preach on that for the sake of not wanting to make anybody feel uncomfortable. But
the more I thought about it, the more I've been thinking about it, I think it's an important
subject because of the fact that we're all going to be touched in our life by this. No one's going
to get through life without having to go through difficulty and trials and tribulations. There's
going to be somebody near and dear to you that passes away, or you're going to be somebody that's
near and dear to someone, and you're going to pass away. And we're going to know people that
go through this. I'm somebody who's gone through that. I'll talk a little bit about this this
morning. I lost my mother when she fought breast cancer for 10 years, and she ended up passing
away when it metastasized and went to her brain when she was just in her early 50s. So, that was
a tragic death. We experienced that, and I watched that disease slowly pick her apart over the years
and finally she just gave up and quit fighting it. So, I'm not coming from a place of not
understanding what it means to mourn, and I'm sure there's many of us in this room that know what
it's like to lose somebody very dear to us, even tragically. So, I thought it would be something
that we should talk about because the Bible addresses it. It says it right here in Ecclesiastes
chapter 3. If you look at verse 4, it says, a time to weep, a time to laugh, a time to mourn,
and a time to dance. And we're living in a culture, in a society today that doesn't want
to experience discomfort. They don't ever want to feel like they have to have anything bad in their
life, but that's just not the nature of life. Now, there is, of course, as it says there,
there is a time to laugh, isn't there? There's a time to be happy and to rejoice and to laugh
and to dance and to enjoy life and friendships, but there's also a time in life where we are to
mourn, where we are to weep. That is a perfectly natural reaction when we go through a tragedy in
our life. And it's normal, it's healthy, and it's necessary quite often, in fact, in every instance,
to go through that process in order to heal and to move on. You have to go through that process
of mourning, and we're living in a world today where people don't want that. They will take
drugs. Maybe some people, they experience a tragedy. They'll get into some kind of sin.
They'll try to block that out, what's taking place, the emotional trauma that they're going
through. A lot of people turn to the bottle and try to drink their sorrows away. And the sad thing
about that is that doesn't make it go away. It just numbs it. It just puts it off to the side.
Those things will still come back later. And that's why it's good to go through a mourning
process because you go through it. You deal with it. You recognize it. You acknowledge it. You let
it have an effect on your life, and then you're able to move forward. It's not just this cloud
that's hanging over your head. So one of the first things we have to understand is that,
and we're going to go through this process of mourning, is that what's taken place is beyond
our control. A lot of times when we have a tragedy take place in our life, people can start to wonder,
you know, should I have done something? Could I have said something? Could I have,
you know, is there something I could have done? They start to feel guilt, you know. And this is,
again, this is a lot of this is stuff that I can relate to. And having gone through it myself.
And what we have to understand is that what's taken place quite often is beyond our control.
That it's unexpected that we can't blame ourselves. And we should be able to,
you know, accept that for what's happened and go through that process of mourning. Now, what I
want to point out here is that mourning is not, it's definitely a time of sadness. It's definitely
a very, I guess you could call it a negative experience. It's something that's not pleasant.
It's not something that we would look forward to going through. But I don't want to cast it out
there as if mourning is this, we're in a state of despair. You know, mourning is not a state
of hopelessness. And we'll see that here in a little bit. You know, you could still have
great hope while going through, you know, a traumatic experience and mourning a loss.
Now, if you would, let's go over to First Thessalonians, First Thessalonians chapter four.
And here's the thing. Why talk about this is because we're all going to go through this.
We're going to experience it at some point in our life. And we're going to have to go,
we're going to be faced with this time of mourning. And if, like I was saying earlier,
you know, if we don't deal with it, you know, it's going to, it's going to come up later. It's
going to get dealt with one way or another. We can try and put it off and act like nothing's wrong.
But, you know, as men, we tend to do that. As men, we try to just be tough and say, well,
it's sad, it's unfortunate, but, you know, you're not going to see me shed a tear over it, you know.
And I think the older we get, the more men are allowed their emotions to show a little bit more
and are less hesitant to, you know, to let that come through. But we have to deal with it. We
have to let it have its place because, you know, otherwise it'll find its place on its own.
Now, you know, before we get into First Thessalonians, one other thing I'd mention
about that process is that it's not a short process. I'm not saying, you know, you're going to,
and this is what people, and this is, this is what happens, is people, you know, they lose some,
there's some tragedy, they lose somebody, and then they have these two weeks where everyone's okay
with them, you know, being down in the dumps or not, you know, not being themselves. And then
after that, you know, people, if they don't understand this process, they can start saying,
well, what's wrong with you? You know, it's been, it's been a month, it's been two weeks,
why don't you just get over it? It's not that fast, folks. This is a process that takes a year,
years even for some folks. They have to go through this. Now, I'm not saying that whole time they
should just, you know, be going through life, you know, every day is just, you know, you know,
they're, they're, you know, dressing all in black and every day is a funeral. I'm not saying that.
But I'm saying that psychologically in your mind and in your heart, you know, it's a long drawn
out process. You slowly come to terms with these things. You know, one example, I remember when my
mom passed away, we actually had part of the hospice service was they had a grief counselor
come over and they talked to us. And one of the things they said, she said, look, you know,
I know this is coming as a shock to you now, but she says, but be prepared for it when it comes,
you know, this time next year when the anniversary comes and there's going to be things that come up
that unexpectedly that are going to remind you and that are going to trigger these emotions and
these feelings. And I was kind of like, ah, you know, that's not, and I don't, you know,
you're just some, that's some psycho babble, whatever, you know, you know, that's just some
emotional, overly emotional woman speaking, you know, trying to be the tough macho guy.
But you know what I found out is that that was true. She passed away in the fall. And then
during that winter season, I had gotten a job. Every time I got laid off from my excavation job,
I'd go work at an oil change, changing oil at a local GM dealership. And I would, it was just
amazed me. Every, every, you know, middle-aged woman that got out of the car that, you know,
slightly resembled my mother, I'm like having to run into the other room and try to keep it
together, you know, and they have the radio and every time James Taylor came on, you know,
it's reminded me of my mom, you know, when I was a little kid and she's making me dust the windows,
whatever, she blasts James Taylor. And if you don't know who James Taylor is, you know,
count your lucky stars because like, I mean, I could get up and sing you some James Taylor
right now. Right. But what am I saying is like those things that will come back and remind us of
that person, you know, that will trigger this whole thing over again. So it's not like you're
just going to schedule out, oh, I'm going to mourn for this long. I'm going to be sorry for this
long. And then that's it. And I'm going to move on with my life. You know, some people who don't
have hope, I'm getting a little bit ahead of myself, you know, they never really get over it.
They never really can come to terms with what happened. They're always find themselves looking
back at what used to be and not looking forward to what is. But, you know, that's the kind of,
I just want to remind us of that going into the sermon is that, you know, this isn't just a one
time shot. You know, this is something that takes a long time, and that there's going to be things
that come up. Now, again, like I said earlier, I'm not saying, you know, you're going to be in
a state of despair, you know, life is still going to go on. You still have to function,
you still have to keep your chin up, you still have to move forward in your life. Now look here,
in First Thessalonians chapter four, let's look at verses 13 through 15, very familiar passage
here. It says, but I would not have you ignorant, I would not have you to be ignorant brethren
concerning them which are asleep, that you sorrow not even as others which have no hope.
For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God
bring with him. You know, these words, it's a very familiar passage, but these words begin to ring
true when they start to apply to us and a loved one that we've lost in Christ. These start to take
on a special new meaning. And, you know, what do we see here? We see that there are some people
that have hope, and there's other people, they don't have that hope. Now, if we have the hope,
the assurance that we've lost somebody that's saved, you know, we don't mourn as other people
do. Why? Because we have hope. You know, and the perfect example of this, and I know I'm kind of
getting a little personal with this morning, but, you know, if it helps, it helps, is, you know,
the example that I'm referring to with myself and my mother and my sisters. You know, I believe that
my mother got saved on her deathbed, that she accepted Christ at the very last minute, and
there's a whole story behind that. But she got saved, I believe, and when she passed away, you
know, I remember watching her draw her last breath, and I said to her, you know, I'll see you on the
other side. You know, and the sweet by and by, you know, will be there. You know, but my sisters,
they don't believe that. You know, they don't have it. I tried to tell them, I said, I don't
know if this is any consolation to you, but mom prayed this prayer on her deathbed, and I believe
she got saved. Do with it what you will. Now, they don't believe the Bible. They're not Christians.
They're not saying, so this doesn't resonate with them. And, you know, and that's why every
anniversary on her death, I get the mournful text, oh, just trying to recall all the good times that
we had together. And I understand, but their mourning is people who have no hope. And that's
why they're always looking back at what has been. They're always looking back at the memories that
they had with mom. They're always looking back and trying to recollect those things and those
feelings and those emotions. You know, I'm not looking back. I'm looking forward to seeing her
in glory, you know, without, with no suffering, with no pain, with a new glorified body. You know,
that's the hope that I have in Christ. So that's the difference here is that some folks, you know,
they're going to mourn without hope. Everybody's going to mourn though. I'm not saying that we
should read this and just let it slap a smile on our face and, you know, that's it. Now everything's
done with, we still have to deal with the fact that we've lost someone here on earth.
So, but you say, well, you know, well, I don't have that hope, you know, and unfortunately,
this is something that touches everybody's life too, myself included, is that, you know,
we have or will lose somebody that rejects Christ, somebody that is very near and dear to us. And we
know what the scripture says about such a person, that that person goes to hell. And that's a very
sad reality. But even in that, and if you would, let's turn over to Revelation chapter 21. You know,
this is, this is, this isn't a lot of consolation here and now, but there is, even in that,
there is a silver lining. You know, that person that goes there, it's sad, you know,
as we sang this morning in that song, you know, should I up in heaven remembered a loved one
who's lost in that side. And if I'd never had begged him to walk with the savior in heaven,
I'd sit down and cry. Now that's a, that's a very touching and emotional sentiment.
And there's truth to it from this perspective, from we sing that we understand that, you know,
we would feel heartbroken if we got to heaven and realized there's all these people that we could
have reached that we didn't, you know, loved ones. But I don't believe that's biblical.
I don't believe that that is a scriptural verse, but we understand the sentiment behind it. Now,
if you look at Revelation chapter 21, look at verse one, it says, and I saw a new heaven and
a new earth for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away and there was no more sea.
And I, John, saw the holy city, new Jerusalem coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as
a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, behold,
the tabernacle of God is with men and he will dwell with them and they shall be his people.
And God himself shall be with them and be their God. Verse four, and God shall wipe away all tears
from their eyes and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow nor crying, neither shall there be
any more pain for former things are passed away. So what's the saying is at the end of millennium,
when God, the father comes down and sets up his throne upon this earth, that he's going to wipe
away all tears and that there will be no sorrow or no crying. So how can we say that we're going
to remember for all eternity, these people that we lost to that, that the rejected Christ that we
know are in hell today? Well, I believe whether, whether God simply wipes those things from our
mind, we simply forget. I don't know if that's the case. I can't fully explain what, what is meant
here by the fact that we know that the Bible says that when that time comes, there will be no
sorrow and there will be no crying. So does hell cease to exist? No. We know that that, that they
are still there, but something changes in us when we receive that new body, when the new heaven and
earth and the new heaven and new earth are here, when God comes and makes his tabernacle with man,
something changes, I believe not only to the physical earth, but also even to our own minds.
We'll have the mind of Christ. I can't fully explain it, but it's there. Either perhaps
the memory is just gone. I've heard people say that, well, God must just remove the memory of
them. And that's very likely that could be the case. I'm not saying that's a very plausible
explanation for that. Perhaps that loved one that we lost that rejected Christ, that we didn't have
opportunity to preach to, that we know is in hell and for all intents and purposes, perhaps God just
removes the memory of them right out of our mind. I mean, how could heaven be heaven if every day
we're just realizing that there's this place called hell and people are there that we know
and love. Now that's certainly a possibility, but what I tend to believe is that our perspective has
changed, that we have the mind of Christ, that we have such a full understanding of who God is
and his righteousness and his holiness and his judgment and his justice and how wicked and
sinful sinners are. I'm not saying we become callous, but we have an understanding or maybe
he just removes it from our mind. I don't know. But there is a silver lining even in that,
you know, because we're talking about how people, there's two types of people that mourn in different
ways. You know, some have no hope of the person that they're moaning for. Others, they have hope
because they know that they're in Christ, that they'll see them again. Now, even in those that
have no hope in seeing them again, there's still that silver lining, that one day that pain that
you feel will be removed. That memory perhaps will be gone. So even in that, there's a silver
lining. So either way, God sees this. You know, we say, well, this just seems kind of harsh that God,
you know, why does that even have to exist? Why do we even have to go through that pain and suffering
understanding that there's somebody there? But what do you need to understand is that God sees
that every day and that should move us to preach the gospel. You know, we say, well, I don't like
the thought of me going to heaven and them not going and me having to do that. It's uncomfortable.
It's unpleasant, I understand. But the Bible says that hell and destruction are before the Lord.
He sees it every day. It's open unto his eyes. Hell and destruction are before the Lord. That
verse goes on in Proverbs chapter 15 and says this, how much more than the hearts of the
children of men. You know, God sees hell and he sees and he's created it. He's sending people
there because of his righteous justice and his righteous indignation and his just nature.
And he understands that. But then he says, so how much more the hearts of the children of men?
And so God, you know, he cares for the lost. He doesn't want anyone to go there. We understand
that. He wants them to be saved. So really what I want to talk about mourning is just, you know,
to make it more practical. You know, these are great thoughts. These are things that we can keep
in mind as we go through that process ourselves, that there's always a silver lining. You know,
we always have hope to some degree or another. Either we'll see that person again, or one day
that pain that we feel from knowing that we're not going to will be removed. We'll always have that.
And that's good. We should hang on to that. And we should always be mindful of these things.
But I want to also in the sermon, just give some folks just some tips on not only going through
the mourning process yourself, but how to kind of how to conduct yourself towards somebody who's
going through this. Because this is really important too. I went through it and I saw
how people behave and, you know, good and bad, you know, but there's an etiquette, I believe.
There's a way to go about it and how to behave towards somebody that's going through that process.
And one of the first thing I would say is, you know, when you see somebody that's experienced
this and they're going through this tragedy is to give that person space. You know, allow that
person to have some room. What we tend to do as human beings is that we want to jump in and,
you know, especially if we feel, you know, our hearts break for them. We want to be with them.
We want to help them and comfort them. And that's great. But let's not smother people either.
Because you have to remember, you're not the only one. You know, there's a lot of phone calls.
There's a lot of text messages. There's a lot of everybody's coming up after the church service.
Everybody's expressing their condolences. And that's good. But let's not be overbearing with
it. You know, people need their space and they're going through a time like this.
Now, of course, it's always good to offer, say, hey, if there's anything you need, just let me know.
And they know that they can take you up on that. But let them take you up on that. And I've seen
people kind of push a little too hard sometimes to try to be too much, you know, involved in this
process. And, you know, and they get this idea that, you know, well, why aren't they here? And
why aren't they there? Why are they, you know, it's like they need space. You know, one of the
first things you need to do when you see somebody going through is just give them some space,
especially while it's still fresh, while they're still going through this process.
You know, you're not the only person, you know, asking the grieving to recount the details,
you know, which in and of itself, you know, could be in poor taste. You know, so what happened?
You know, well, what happened is this person passed away. You know, what more do you need
to know? Why are you going to ask this person to just, well, let me just bear, let me just tell you
all the details. Again, you know how many times that story's been told? You know, let them just
get through this process. And if they want to talk about it, they'll talk about it. But don't,
you know, ask for all the details. Don't go, you don't need to know the details. And they don't,
I'm sure, and I know from experience, it's not pleasant to sit there and recount what happened.
You know, me just trying to express that a few minutes ago was difficult.
Well, my mother went through, you know, the, it's not, it's not a play. You don't want to
relive that experience over and over and over just so somebody can feel more informed. You know,
all we need to know is that somebody passed away and they're grieving and that's it. So give them
space, especially when it's fresh. And, you know, I'm kind of guilty of this this morning, but,
you know, in, in a personal, you know, setting where it's one-on-one, maybe refrain from
relating your own experience. You know, that's one thing when I noticed when my mother passed away
and I'm, you'll see what I mean by how I'm kind of guilty. I'm, I'm, you know, I'm referring to
my own experience as, but, you know, it's in the context of a sermon, right? So I'm relating my
experience to kind of help us understand this whole process and this whole subject.
But when you're talking to somebody who's going through that, when it's fresh for them,
when it's something they're going through, that's not the time for you to start to relate your own
experience. Oh yeah, I know what you're going through. Let me tell you all about what I went
through, you know, and I had people do this, you know, people telling me how much harder
it's going to be. And if you would, let's go over to Job chapter 16, you know, and these people
mean, well, I'm not saying people are doing this or bad people. It's just, they lack etiquette.
They lack tact. They lack understanding and, you know, it's just poor timing more than anything.
Um, but I remember even when, um, my mom was like, before she even passed away, I mean,
she's on her deathbed and her, you know, a certain, uh, a couple stopped by friends of hers
and me and my sisters are just, you know, the whole process is, excuse me, so surreal.
But these people start to tell me about, you know, it's going to be so much harder
a year from now, you know, like, well, it's pretty hard right now. Yeah, but you don't understand,
you know, when my mom and my, she passed away and they start to just relate their whole experience
and how much more difficult it's going to be. That was not a help. That was no comfort to me.
Oh, so you're saying it's going to get harder. Great. Thanks. You know, I would have found that
out on my own without you telling me, you know, I probably would have figured that out if by just
going through the process. So people need to, you know, that's not the time for you to start just
relating your own experience when somebody else has just experienced a tragedy.
You know, of course you could say, hey, I know what you're going through. I've been there. You
know, I'm praying for you and leave it at that. You know, but sometimes people, they like to jump
on an opportunity just to tell their own story. And what it really does is, you know, it kind of
casts a shadow on what that person's going through, you know, and it's like, I'm not saying that that
person's looking for the spotlight or anything like that, but what it does, it kind of draws
attention away from where it needs to be. The, the, the, the, the morning, the, the, the tragedy
that person's gone through. So refrain from relating your own experience. Look here in
Job chapter 16 and verse one, it says, then answer Job and said, I have heard many such things.
Miserable comforters are ye all. Shall vain words have an end or what emboldeth thee that thou,
that thou answerest? Of course, we know, you know, Job, Job, you know, suffered great tragedy,
lost all of his children, all of his wealth, and these three friends of his come and they sit with
him, you know, and they, you know, what have been good is if they just kept their mouth shut.
I'm not saying there's anything wrong with just going and sitting with somebody, just being there
for them. If they need anything, knowing that you're there, but these guys insist and start
just running their mouth to them. Right. And we know all the things that they said, and
they're there. Then they started levying false accusations and everything like that.
But there is such a thing as being a miserable comforter. Someone who comes around in a time of
tragedy and doesn't know what's appropriate to say, what's inappropriate to say.
It doesn't, doesn't, you know, brings up their own experience, asks people to recount the details
repeatedly over and over and over again, what just happened. It's like, give them space, give these
people space, let them go through this process. And if it's, well, you'll find as time goes on,
is it, you know, the details aren't really that important. And you know, you really don't need
to know every little thing that happened and that the, what, what, what matters is, is that
that person has lost somebody and they're going through something. So we don't want to be miserable
comforters like Joe had, you know, we want to, we want to make sure we give people space that we,
we don't just take it as an opportunity to tell our own sob story. You know, we want to let them
go through their own process. Now, so what, I guess what you could say about this is that when
it comes to, you know, expressing your condolences, when it comes to trying to be a comfort and a help
to people, less really is more, less really is more. You know, I, there was a guy up in Tempe
who lost his dad, you know, just within the last two weeks, just out of nowhere. I mean,
he's literally walking into church and gets a phone call that says, hey, your dad's in a
hospital in Phoenix. And he had to go identify the body that afternoon. It's tragedy. You know,
it was a young guy. I'm not saying that a person's older, it's any less of a heartbreak,
but when people are passing away at 70, 80, 90, it's more natural. You know, it's not a shock.
When a parent passes away at 50, 60, that's a little bit harder to deal with, you know, and
even more so if it's a parent losing a child. I mean, I can't even imagine anything more difficult,
but, you know, that later I saw the same individual, you know, the following church service,
you know, I didn't run up to him and say, hey, you know, I know what it's like to lose a parent
tragically, you know, and, and, you know, my mother was about the same age as your dad. And,
you know, here's how it was for me. And, you know, and by the way, you think it's only going to,
it's going to get a lot harder, which is exactly what people did to me at that time. And I thought,
miserable comforter are you all? You know what I did? I said, hey, I'm sorry for your loss.
Let me know if you need anything. And just, you know, get shook his hand, squeeze the shoulder,
and just let him know I'm thinking about him. And that's it. I didn't ask, hey, so what happened?
You know, what'd he die of? You know, like, I mean, but people do that. I see people do this,
and it's like, you got to get some tact. We got to have some tact with people. You know, just a simple
I'm sorry for your loss. I heard what happened. I'm praying for you. Let me know if you need
anything. And that's really all people need. You know, people have their own inner circles. People
have their own family. People have their own comforters, people that they can call on if
needed. You know, we don't all have to, of course, it's good to volunteer to be there for somebody,
but we have to understand that we don't want to, we don't want to try and force ourselves into that
position. If they want us, they know where to find us. So be there if you're asked to be there.
You know, don't feel like you have to try and push yourself into that position. The Bible does say in
Proverbs 17, a friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. You know, so we
don't want to go to the other extreme either, where maybe a brother does say, hey, you know,
I'm having a hard time. Can I talk to you? Well, I heard, I would, but I heard a brother Corbin's
sermon. You know, I'm supposed to keep it short and sweet and, you know, you know what I mean?
I'm not saying that, but I, you know, if you're, if someone is going to rely on you, do be there
for them. You know, do be a brother that's born for adversity, a brother that's born for tough
and troublesome times. Do be there. You know, let them know you're available, but let them make that
decision whether or not they need you or not. Because here's the thing, you know, familiar
company, you know, makes sense of a very surreal situation. Familiar company makes sense of a very
surreal situation. And when you lose somebody, tragically, it's very surreal. Anybody that's
gone through it knows what I'm talking about. It's like you're in a dream. It's like it's not
really happening. And your mind slowly has to come to terms with this. I remember when my mom passed
away, you know, we took her to the funeral service and they make the memorial DVDs. You give them a
bunch of pictures. Who knows what I'm talking about? You know, you give them a bunch of pictures
and they make a memorial DVD that they play. And, you know, they gave us the DVD to say,
hey, watch this, make sure that this is, this is what you want. So we're sitting there watching it
in my mom's living room, you know, where she had just passed away just a few days before.
And with my sisters and we're just bawling. And I just, those are my exact words, that this is
so surreal. I can't, you know, it's just all, all of a sudden this person's gone. And here I am
watching their life in a, you know, five minute video. It's very surreal. And so we do want to be
available to people that are going through that. And what helps with that is when they have
familiar company, when there are friends, when there are family, to help them through that
process. Now that familiar company should be as they always have been. You know, some of the best
things is to get a sense of normalcy when, you know, just a normal day when you're going through
this. Meaning that the people that you're familiar with, they, they behave as normal,
you know, they, they're still themselves around you. They're not just trying to,
you know, they know you're going through this. So they're, you know, trying to watch every little
thing. And they say, and of course we want to be again, tactful and appropriate and everything like
that. But sometimes just being around friends and, you know, go having a normal day, laughing, joking,
that's very therapeutic when you're going through this. So if we are going through this too, we
don't want to just draw back from everybody because, and say, well, because, because that's
really what you need. You need to be around people that are going to help you bring, you know, help
you remind you that life is still going on, that, you know, this is normal, everything you're, you
know, the world has not ceased from turning. And that one of the best things we can do is just try
to stay back, get back in the swing of things and continue to live our life, you know, and that's
going to help us cope a lot with this mourning process. But I will say this, and this isn't going
to be a very long sermon this morning, but I felt like it was appropriate, you know, having seen so
much tragedy this last holiday season, just, I mean, literally four or five people, I think four
or five, I might be forgetting one, that just experienced this just out of nowhere. These just
out of the blue sudden tragedies in their lives. I just, I felt like it was appropriate for us as a
church body to know how to behave towards people that are going through that. And for those that
are going through it to know what, you know, what to expect to some degree and what's going to help
them through that process. And part of that is, you know, you know, staying, you know, of course, taking
the time you need and, and, and, you know, giving yourself space, but also not just completely
withdrawing to where, you know, the, I guess what I'm trying to say is, you know, you need to,
you need to still be part of life. You need to continue on moving forward. That for me, you still
need to have that familiar company, that regular schedule, you know, that you used to keep, you know,
that's going to bring you back down to earth and help you get through it. But I'll say this in
closing here is that those people that are going through it, those that are going through mourning
should be given a very wide birth. Okay. Very wide birth. What I mean by that is
if they're having a bad day, let them have a bad day. You know what I mean? People experience a
tragedy, you know, and they go through something and then, you know, they're having a bad day,
you know, don't expect, you know, well, they're, they're being a bit of a jerk today or whatever.
I'm not saying everybody does this, but it does happen. You know, I know I certainly had my fair
share of being a jerk when I went through it, but, you know, it's to be expected, you know, that's
normal. You know, don't expect them to be, you know, sunshine and roses for you, you know,
when they're going through this, they're going to have a bad day. And even if they say something
offensive, you know, cause some people that's how they cope. They just lash out. They take it out on
somebody else, you know, and, and, and I've heard others say, and I agree with this, that if I knew
somebody that went through some terrible tragedy, like losing a child and they snapped on me one
day and called me every name in the book, I would forgive them immediately without them even saying
look, I don't even know what you're going through, but I'm sure it has something to do with this
tragedy you're experiencing, you know? So if somebody is going through this, gets a little
touchy around you or gets a little curt or is a little rude towards you, maybe you should just
chalk it up as they're going through something really difficult and just have a little, be a
little gracious with them. Just give them a wide berth to say, Hey, you know what? I understand.
And just let them have a little leeway, you know? But the last thing I want us to understand,
if we would go over to John chapter 11, you say, well, I'm not, I don't know. I, you know,
I'm a young person this morning. I've never experienced any of this. You know,
the first time I ever went through it when I was 15 with my grandfather, who I wasn't very close to.
And I just remember everybody at the funeral being like, have you cried? Have you cried?
Have you cried yet? Like I didn't even hardly know the guy. And then I just felt so bad about
not crying that I finally cried. And I went to a cousin and said, Hey, I cried. They're like,
okay, good. You know, now all those cousins that were very close to him, they, you know, came very
naturally, you know? But that was kind of my first experience. I don't know what that story to do
with anything that I'm preaching about this morning. But, you know, what I want us to
understand is if you're here this morning saying, Hey, I've not gone through this. I don't know what
this is like. I don't, you know, well, just rest assured that it will come to you one day because
that's the nature of life. You know, that's, you know, and I don't want to, I don't see that,
you know, you know, that, you know, death is a part of life. That's true, right? Death is a part
of life, but not in the sense that Elton John would have you to believe, you know, it's the circle
of life. Like, it's just like this natural thing, you know, you know, Bible says, and I believe it's
second Corinthians. I think I wrote it down. Second Corinthians. Yeah. First Corinthians 15.
It says, you know, calls death, you know, it says, Oh grave, where is thy sting? Oh death,
where is thy victory? That death is swallowed up in victory. You know, death is an enemy.
You know, death is not just this natural, you know, circle of life. Death is a tragedy. Death
is an enemy. And the Bible says the last enemy that shall be defeated is death. It's part of
the curse, you know? So, but we have to understand something that it is natural in the sense that
it happens to all of us. We're all going to die, you know, and you're going to know somebody
in your life that's going to die one day. And you're going to know somebody in your life that's
very close to you that's going to die one day. And you yourself are going to go through a tragic
death, you know, seeing somebody very near and really suddenly taken away without explanation,
or it's going to be, you know, perhaps you watch a parent or somebody grow old and pass away
naturally, which is of course what we prefer. But either way, it's coming to us. Morning comes to
everybody. Why preach the sermon? You know, because of the fact that morning comes to everybody,
that everyone is going to go through this to some degree or another in their life. And we see it
even here in John that the Lord Jesus, this is something, you know, he was acquainted with grief,
you know, he was a man of sorrows. You know, I remember, I love that verse, those verses,
because of the fact, I remember in Traverse City, Michigan, where I'm from, there was some local
artist who's every, every, you know, Christian was wearing his shirt of this picture of this
long haired hippie called, that they call Jesus. And it had him throwing his head back and laughing.
They called it the Laughing Jesus. Show me Jesus laughing here. Show me Jesus laughing in the
Bible. I remember I was working for UPS. And I was, I was like, are you a driver's helper,
you know, during the holiday season, they hire helpers to run packages to kind of expedite
everything. And he, the guy, the driver found out, and I told him I was a Christian,
so on and so forth. And he goes, oh, you probably know about that Laughing Jesus then that said,
yeah, I know about it. I didn't say anything like, yeah. And he said, well, that guy's on my route.
The artist, you know, we're going to stop by his house and drop off a package today.
Maybe he'll give you a painting. Maybe he'll give you one of his, the copies of his print.
I was like, uh huh. I didn't want anything to do with it because I believed it's a total farce.
One, that's not Jesus. No one knows what he looks like. Two, if you did, you wouldn't have
long hair. And three, I don't see him laughing in scripture. You know, I'm not saying Jesus
didn't laugh. I just don't see it in the Bible. You know, that's not to say he didn't do it,
but I'm not going to sit there and base the whole depiction of Christ on an attribute that's not
shown. So we get to this guy's house and he finds, and the guy, of course, the driver's like,
yeah, this guy's a Christian. You should give him one of these paintings. Oh yeah, you want one of
these? He brings up to him like, no thanks. I was trying to be his play. I was like, yeah,
the guy was just shocked. Like this Christian wouldn't want it. Like, I don't want it. I just
told him and we got back and he's like, oh, okay. And we get back in the, in the van and the driver's
just like, you know, like that's awkward. The whole, it's kind of an awkward moment. I was just
like, I don't see that. You know, I don't know if I explained to him or not, you know, I was pretty
new in the Christian faith, but I at least have enough boldness to not take that stupid painting,
you know? So what am I trying to say though, is that morning comes to us all and Jesus is
somebody, you know, rather than Jesus throwing his head back laughing, you know, would probably be
better for people is to understand that Jesus knows what it's like to mourn. That, you know,
would be more helpful for people to see, you know, Jesus weeping and to understand that. Now,
of course, we don't want to actually draw that, but you know, we can picture this in our mind
and understand that, that the Lord really is in touch. You know, when we're going through a deep,
dark valley in our life, the Lord's, that's, you know, when we can be the closest to the Lord,
you know, because he's so acquainted with that. He knows what it's like to suffer
and that's when we can draw close to God. And I believe that's when God wants to show himself,
you know, the most to us. You know, of course, that's at all times, but that's when we're
probably most vulnerable and most open to God drawing as close to us as he'd like. You know,
we're mourning, we're hurting, we're looking for God to comfort us. And if you look there in John
chapter 11 in verse 30, he says, Now when Jesus was not yet coming in town, but was in the place
where Martha met him, the Jews, which were with her in her house, and comforted her when they
saw Mary, that she rose hastily and went out following her, saying, She goeth forth unto
the grave to weep there. Of course, this is the familiar story of the death of Lazarus.
And Jesus is coming to resurrect him. But you know, Jesus didn't just show up and resurrect
him. He showed up and he remembered he allowed four days to pass. And we know the story he said,
it says there in verse 32, Then when Mary was come where Jesus was and saw him, she fell down
his feet, saying, On him, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died. So she understood
who she was dealing with. This is the Lord that he could have prevented this. But then, you know,
that should teach us something is that the Lord allowed that to happen. And of course,
we know that was so that the glory of God, but I believe in another application would be that,
you know, God allows suffering to come into our life so that we can, you know, find hope in him.
He says here in verse 33, When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping with her,
which came with her, he groaned in the spirit and was troubled, and said, Where have they laid him?
And they said unto him, Lord, come and see Jesus. Jesus was a stoic. You know, Jesus was calloused.
You know, Jesus just went about his business, got it, got business taken care of. No, Jesus wept,
you know, very famous verse. And here's the thing, Jesus wept, but he knew what he was going there to
do. But why did he weep? Because he, I believe he's weeping there because he sees what everybody
else is going through. He said there, therefore, verse 33, When Jesus therefore saw her weeping,
and the Jews also weeping, which came with her, then he groaned in the spirit. You know,
Jesus is a man who is acquainted with grief. And mourning is going to come to us all. It even came
to the Lord. You know, I'm not saying it took Jesus by surprise, but he had, you know, that
was his human nature, that he was even moved, you know. So I'm saying, I'm pointing that out
to kind of wrap it up and close by saying that, you know, when somebody else is going through
this, you know, it's perfectly natural for them to weep, and to mourn, and to go through a time,
a season of sorrow in their life. And we, as those that are around people that are going through
that, we know, need to know how to behave towards them, you know, give them space, give them time,
you know, don't insist that they just bounce back right away, but also be there for them,
if needed, and to help them through that time. And that's why I wanted to preach this this morning,
because there are a lot of people in our church, not just here, you know, there are here, but also
up in Tempe, that they're going through this. And sometimes if we haven't gone through that
ourselves, it's hard to know how to behave towards those people. You know, what's appropriate,
what's not, what should we do? So that's why I wanted to preach this, so that we could get
a better sense of, you know, what that person's going through, and what we can do to be a blessing
to them. Let's go ahead and pray.