So I'm gonna get into Romans 16 here in a little bit. So keep something there in
Romans 16, but if you would go ahead and turn back to Genesis chapter 38. Genesis
chapter 38. I'm gonna be talking tonight about friendship. That's gonna be the
topic of the sermon tonight, and whereas many different personal relationships
that we have in life, everybody that you meet is gonna fall into some category
when you think about it. Whether it's going to be the person on the street
that you don't even know, well you would consider that person a stranger. That's
their relation to you. Maybe people that you just see at work here and there.
People that you might get familiar with going about your daily business at the
grocery store, the bank, or whatever. You might even get on a first-name basis
with people, but you would consider them acquaintances. You know, people who you're
familiar with. Everybody in your life is going to fall into some category. Of
course, there's the obvious one of family. When you have brothers, sisters, moms,
dads, uncles, you know, that's another relationship in our life that has
probably more profound influence than any other one. Then we have our church
relationships as well. People that we know at church, but then we also have the
relationship of friends, and this is a very important relationship in our life.
This is not something we should take for granted, and it's also something that we
should not underestimate. You know, the influence and the importance of
friendships. That's what I want to talk to you about tonight. The influence and
importance of friendships. So friendship, you know, is one of those unique
relationships, much like family, that has a real potential to influence us for
better or for worse. The friends that we make can influence our character.
They can influence our behavior, the things we do, the way we act, and that's,
you know, for the better for the worst. You know, friends can either make you or
break you. So that's the saying, choose your friends wisely. You know, that's a
very, you know, common saying, but it's a true one. We should be choosing our
friends, the people that we're going to allow to influence our character, our
friends who are going to influence our behavior, we should be choosing them
carefully and wisely. Now we're going to look tonight at examples of some
friendships in the Bible that were both good and bad, and we'll start out with
the bad ones here. Did I have you go to Genesis 38? Is that where you are? If you're
not there, go there. Genesis chapter 38. Let's look at some examples of bad
relationships, or bad friendships rather, and the first one we're going to look at
is this relationship with Judah and his friend of here that we see in this
passage beginning in verse 12, Hira. Now if you recall, Judah was, well, let's just
read the scripture here. It says in verse 12,
And in process of time the daughter of Shewa, Judah's wife, died, and Judah was
comforted when he went unto the sheepshears to Timnath. He and his
friend Hira the Adulamite. So he's been, he's a widower, and now he's going to be
comforted with his friend, and we start to learn some things about this
friendship, that it's an ungodly friendship, that Hira the Adulamite
might have been some kind of comfort to him, but he was not a guy that was going
to influence Judah for the better, but rather for the worse. If you jump down
there, we know the story that Judah sees Tamar, his daughter-in-law, who was also
widowed, had dressed herself up as a harlot and put herself out there as a
harlot. Judah in his decides that this is a good idea, and he hires her, and he goes
in unto her as a harlot. He doesn't know who she is, and then of course he goes, he
gives her a pledge. If you recall the story, you know, he didn't have any money,
so he gives her the bracelet and the scepter, and that he's, and then he's, of
course, in verse 20, he sends his friend back. He sends Hira back, and it says
in verse 20, and Judah sent the kid, which was to be the payment, by the hand
of his friend the Adulamite to receive the pledge from the woman's hand, but he
found her not. So he sends back, you know, that he was originally supposed to pay
her with the kid of the goat, and he gives her the pledge instead, but what we
notice in the story, nowhere do you see Hira, the Adulamite, saying, hey, this
isn't a good idea. Hey, this is ungodly. This is not something that a Christian or
a child of Israel should be doing, and rather, you see that he's actually kind
of complicit in it, and in fact, he even goes to the extent of helping him to
cover it up. Say, oh yeah, I'll take the kid up there. Yeah, I'll go get your pledge
for you, because after all, we're friends. I mean, that's what he considered him. He
considered him a friend, but does that necessarily mean that that was a good
friend to have? If you would, go over to 2 Samuel chapter 13. What I want to look
at tonight to start with is the fact that your friendships can have a very
negative impact on your life. We should choose our friends wisely. We should
choose friends that are going to keep us from going into sin, not help being
complicit in it. It would have been better, you know, Hira the Adulamite would have
been a better friend if you would have stopped him. That's the kind of friend
you would want, to not lead you into temptation, but to be there for you to
keep you out of temptation. Look at 2 Samuel chapter 13, another familiar
story concerning Absalom and some of his relatives. It says in verse 1,
It came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose
name was Tamar, and Amnon the son of David loved her. So this is his half
sister, so this story is already, you know, starting out weird. This guy's a little
on the outside. And Amnon was so vexed that he fell sick for his sister Tamar,
for she was a virgin, and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her. So
he's falling sick, but it means he's falling in love, right? He has, I don't know what
you'd even call that love, you know, maybe it was just lust, but he's desiring to be
with her. But it says there at the end that he thought it hard for him to do
anything to her. He said, look, I know I have these feelings, but I'm not gonna
act on them. You know, she's my half sister, it just wouldn't be right. So he's
reserved. But look at verse three, very telling words, right? But Amnon had a
friend. You know, whole sermons have been preached out of that, those few words
right there. Amnon had a friend. Everything was going fine, you know, he
was gonna keep himself, he wasn't gonna fall into sin, he wasn't gonna do
anything bad, but he had a friend. And this friend is much like Hyra the
Adulamite. He's not one that's going to hold him back. In fact, he's going to be
complicit in the sin. In fact, he's gonna even be more than complicit, he's going
to help him conspire on how to fulfill this ungodly lust that he had towards
Tamar. It says he had a friend whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimea, David's
brother, and Jonadab was a very subtle man. Now who else is subtle in the
scripture? The devil. That's what it says of the serpent back in Genesis, that he
was more subtle than any other beast of the field. Subtlety is not, you
know, something that you want to be said of you in the scripture. It's
very often a very, you know, negative connotation to be considered subtle in
the scripture. But that's the type of friend that these men had, and we could
see just from these two instances that these were not good friends. They were
somebody that they considered, you know, a confidant, they were somebody that they
wanted to spend time with, they were somebody that they maybe grew up with,
played with, it was somebody they had something in common with, and they chose
these people as friends, but what are these friends up doing? These friends up
influencing them to do wicked things. And if you know the story of Amnon and
Tamar, that story does not end well. I mean, Tamar, you know, she is forced and
disgraced, and then of course that starts the whole thing with Absalom, and the
rebellion, and then he eventually kills, you know, he kills, his name's right
there, Amnon. So these are very wicked friends.
Jonadab, you know, he comes up with this wicked course of action. He
persuades Amnon to pursue it. And here's what I want you to understand about bad
friends tonight, is that bad friends will lead you to bad decisions. If you hang
around the wrong crowd, you know, they're gonna lead you down the wrong path. And
we often get this idea, we get this mentality that, well, you know, I'm saved
now, and I've got these old friends, and I'm gonna go ahead and hang around them,
and just be a witness to them, and be a light to them, and try to bring them to
my side. And that sounds fine, and well, and good, and I hope that would be the
case, but here's what you'll often find in Scripture and in life, is that the bad,
the good never make the bad good. The bad, or excuse me, the good never make the bad
good. I mean, look at the entire history of the children of Israel. Why else did
God tell them to drive them out of that land? Because he knew that the bad can, or
the good never make the bad good. Never happens, it never works that way. It's the
old cliche, one bad apple ruins the whole bunch. The whole bunch doesn't make the
one bad apple good. It always goes the other way. And that's what we see here
with these friendships, is that bad friendships lead to bad decisions, and we
should be very careful about who we let be our friend, and who we make as friends,
because those friends can have very severe consequences in terms of their
influence. We allow them to influence us, and talk us into things. I mean, I don't
want to get up here and glory and pass in, but I could tell you all the dumb
things my friends talked me into, like lighting a field on fire, right? If you
listen this morning, right? That it's a good idea to bring matches to a dry
field. You know, that was a dumb friend. That was a good idea. Look, there's a lot of
other stories like that, that we could tell. We could probably go around the
room, maybe things that aren't even necessarily sinful, but just being
talked into dumb things by our friends. Telling you bad friends will lead to bad
decisions. And the worse the friends are, the worse the decisions are going to be,
and the more severe the consequences are going to be in your life. And I think
everybody understands that. I don't, I think that's something that we've
preached, that's been preached on many times. You've been around long enough,
you've probably heard that, you probably even know that for yourself. That if you
want to tell what direction somebody's going, just look at who their friends are.
Just look at who their friends are, and I can tell you, well, that's the direction
they're going. I remember when I got mixed in with the wrong crowd in high
school, my mom took me aside and said, you know, I like this friend, and I like this
friend, but this friend of yours right here, I'm a little worried about. And sure
enough, that person led me into some, some bad things. And, you know, eventually I
had to sever that relationship, and he even went further. But what if I had
stuck around? What if I kept that friend? Could have ended very badly. I think
everybody gets that. Everyone understands that bad friends are gonna be a bad
influence on you. But if you've kept something in Romans 16, go back there and
continue to keep something there. We'll be back again later tonight. Romans
chapter 16. Everyone understands the concept of bad friends. I don't think we
often think about, you know, obviously the influence of friends, the
influence of friendships, right? That's what kind of what we're talking about, how
bad influences can come in the form of friendships. But I also want to talk
about the importance of friendships. It's important to have friends. It's important
to be friends with people. You know, life is, you know, we can get this attitude
some, I don't need any friends. Life can get very long for a person with that
attitude. I don't need friends. Look at Romans chapter 16 verse 3. I think if
there's anybody in the scripture that had friends, it's Paul. I mean, look, did
you hear all the names? I'm, he's, salute this guy, salute that guy. You think he's
just putting tongue twisters in there to try and make it hard for me to read
scripture tonight? Or did he really want those people saluted? Did he really want
someone to go up to them and say, hey, Paul wrote about you. Paul wanted us to
mention that he's thinking about you. He mentioned you by name. That's because
he's his friend. Paul was a man who had many, many friends. I believe that. So
let's look at some examples of good friendships. Look at Romans 16 verse 3. I
think some of the best friends Paul probably had were Priscilla and Aquila.
And these are people that we'll see here in a minute were people who are
very godly influenced in people's lives and were very important in some people's
lives. He said, greet Priscilla and Aquila, my helpers in Christ Jesus. So that's the
first thing I want to point out there is he said, look, they were his helpers. What
was it that made Priscilla and Aquila worthy of being greeted, mentioned in the
Word of God? What were them, what was it about them that made them Paul's friends?
The fact that they were his helpers in Christ. They were not a thorn. They were
not a stumbling block. They were not a snare. They were a helper in Christ. And
here's what I want you to understand. If you're going to be a good friend, you're
going to be somebody that helps somebody succeed. That's what good friends do.
It's not just this neutral ground, well, I'm not a bad influence. I'm not going to
lead them into sin. That makes me a good friend. No, good friends will actually
help you succeed in Christ. A good friend wants to see you succeed in Christ.
That's what they want. And they're going to help you in Christ just like Priscilla
and Aquila helped Paul in Christ. That's what they did. And Paul was endeared to
them for that. And he said, greet them. I want them to know that I'm thinking
about them. That I consider them a friend. Why? Because they were helpers to
him. Look, we should be friends with people and our desire towards our
friends should be to encourage them, to help them to grow in Christ. To lead them
in Christ. To help them to succeed in Christ in whatever area that is.
Whatever area of the Christian life that is. To help them succeed in
glorifying God in some way in their life. That should be our desire. Good
friends will help you succeed. Go to Acts chapter 18. Again, keep
something in Romans 16 for the rest of the night. We'll be back there once or
twice. But go to Acts chapter 18. Let's look at the way in which Priscilla and
Aquila were helpers. Look, they were helpers to Paul in Christ. But this was
just their nature. I don't think they were just buttering up Paul. I don't
think they're just trying to get on Paul's good side. Hey, let's help Paul.
Maybe he'll mention us an epistle and we'll, you know, we'll get some clout. You
know, our name will go down in history. And let's just, you know, be mean jerks to
everybody else. But we're gonna be nice to Paul. Look, what made them great people
is the fact this was their nature. They were just helpers to everybody they met.
I believe that about them because you see that in more than one place. Paul
explicitly said there in Romans 16 that they were my helpers in Christ. And you
see this is just part of their nature. Look here in Acts 18 verse 22, 24,
excuse me, a certain Jew named Apollos. Now that's a name that should ring a
bell. If you recall in 1 Corinthians, Paul had to deal with some division in that
church by saying some say that I am of Paul and I am of Apollos.
So this was a man of note. This was a man that had a great influence. But look at
the way where he started out and look who it was that helped him to get where
he was. It says a certain a Jew named Apollos, born in Alexandria, an eloquent
man and mighty in the scriptures came to Ephesus. This man was instructed in the
way of the Lord and being fervent in the spirit, he spake and taught diligently
the things of the Lord, knowing only the baptism of John. And he began to speak
boldly in a synagogue whom when Aquila and Priscilla had heard, they took him
unto them and expound unto him the way of God more perfectly. So this is a great
example I think in the Bible of good friendship. What you have here is
somebody who's, you know, already got some things together. They're already headed
in the right direction. I mean, Apollos here, you know, was a man
instructed in the way of the Lord. He wasn't just some ungodly heathen. He was
a man that was in the way of the Lord. He was fervent in the spirit and he taught
diligently in the things of the Lord. Not only that, but it says that he was an
eloquent man and mighty in the scriptures. I mean, this guy would speak
and people would listen. I mean, he had some influence, he had some clout, but you
know what made him great was the fact that he wasn't so humble, or excuse me,
wasn't so proud to receive the correction and to receive advice from
somebody else. Because that's exactly what happens in the scripture here. And he
began to speak boldly. Verse 26, Aquila and Priscilla had heard, they took him
unto them and expounded on him the way of God more perfectly. Now obviously the
way they went about that, you know, taking him unto them, denotes that they used
some tact. That they went to him in a certain spirit of probably humility and
meekness. Probably even appreciated who he was, what he was doing, his spirit, his
fervency, his eloquence. Appreciated all these things about Apollos and said
let's expound the way to him more perfectly. And probably took him aside
and gently began to expound these things to him and teach him and instruct him.
And him himself, being a godly, humble man, was able to receive that. So you see
that these are some good elements that make up a good friendship. You know, you
have a very eloquent man, a very man that was mighty in many ways, being
able to humble himself and you have somebody who's there ready to come to
him in the right spirit and correct him and glean him. And what do you end up
with? The end result is that these friends are helping one another in
Christ. That God is being glorified through this friendship. That's what's
taking place. So we should want our friends to succeed. Look, you can't
say you're somebody's friend if you think, well I don't want them to succeed
at whatever it is. And say, well you know I'm their friend but I really don't want
to see him do well. That's not a friend. A friend wants a person to succeed at
whatever they're doing. And if they can, they want to be a help to that person to
help them succeed at what they're doing. We should want our friends to succeed
even if it means they're better at it than we are. Because the end of that
relationship is that Christ is glorified. I mean, let me use myself as an example.
I'm friends with preachers and this is going to come as a shock to many
of you. A lot of them are much better preachers than me. Don't amend that, right?
But what kind of a friend would I be? What kind of an
attitude would it show that I have if I just sat there and thought, well I hope
he just gets up there and botches that sermon. I hope he just goes up there and
just totally messes up and everybody thinks I'm better than he is. That'd be
terrible. That's not an attitude that a friend has. You know,
the friends that I have that are preachers, I say, man I hope they
tear it up. And I listen to them preach and say, man I wish I could preach
more like that guy. And I think about what they do well and I think, well how
can I get better at preaching and what is it that they do that I really like
that I can incorporate? And you know, obviously if you want to get into this
specific example, the best thing any preacher can do is just be
himself. Not try to just be somebody else. But you can't take
things and learn things from other preachers. The point being that I'd
be a pretty crummy friend if all I wanted them to do was fail. In fact, I
wouldn't be any kind of a friend at all. Because any good friend wants you to
succeed at what you're doing. I mean we would have to wonder would Apollos have
gone on to be the man that he was? I mean he went on exhorting the disciples and
and preaching great sermons and winning souls and he was such a great
influence that, you know, he was even somebody that the Corinthians wanted to
side with over against Paul. And I thought that was his doing. It was just
that was the carnality of the Corinthian church. But you know, they had to pick
somebody and they chose Apollos. Right? I mean this was, but would he have gone on
to be that man of that level of influence without Aquila and
Priscilla? I don't think he would have. I think that Acts 18 was a major turning
point in his life. That that needed to happen. That he needed to run into two
people that just took him aside as a friend. You know, and it wasn't just so,
you know, Aquila could say, hey tell me what you know and tell me how to do that.
I want to do that for myself. You know, it wasn't him trying to get his position. It
wasn't him trying to gain that influence for himself. It was him just trying to
help that person in Christ. Because that's all they wanted for him. Was for
him to succeed in Christ. And that's what we should want for all of our friends.
Go back to Romans chapter 16. So we saw earlier the influence of friendships. How
they can influence your character. How they can influence your decisions and
your behavior for better or for worse. And we looked at some bad examples. But
we also have to understand the importance of friendships. That
friendships and good friendships are something that we should value and
desire and make effort in our lives to have. Because they're important. Wouldn't
you say they were pretty important to Apollos? That was a very important
friendship that he had in those two people. I don't think he would have been
the man that he was if it wasn't for that friendship. Not only that, but good
friends will put themselves in harm's way on your behalf. Look here in Romans
chapter 16 verse 3. It says, greet Priscilla and Aquila my helpers in
Christ Jesus verse 4 who have for my life laid down their own necks. I mean
these people were ready to die for Paul. Jesus said greater love hath no man in
this than a man laid down his life for his friends. Now he said greater love
hath no man in this. Saying no man has it. Right? That's the greatest love you could
have. Here's the point though. Am I saying that you need to go throw
yourself in front of a bus for your friend? I don't know. Maybe you do. You
know maybe maybe if we really love somebody as a friend to that degree we
would just you know we would we would jump in front of them and take a bullet.
I don't know. That's the greatest love though. That's what he's saying. And of
course we know that Jesus lived that out because that's
exactly what he did. And that was the greatest love that anybody could ever
have towards anyone was that when he laid down his life for us. But the point
being this. When Paul is saying look these people lay down their own necks
for me. They put themselves in harm's way. Why did they do that? They did that
because good friends will care about your well-being. Good friends are going
to care about your well-being. Go over to Job chapter 16. We're gonna be jumping
around a little bit here in the Old Testament. Go back to Job chapter 16. You
can forget about Romans from here on out. Romans. Well don't forget it. You just
don't have to bookmark it. Romans chapter 16. Excuse me. No. Job chapter 6. Good
friends are going to care about your well-being. The Bible says in Job
chapter 6 verse 14. Look there. Verse 14. To him that is afflicted pity should be
showed from his friends. Now that sounds like pretty common knowledge doesn't it?
To him that is afflicted should be shown pity from his friends. You'd say yeah
duh. So and so's in the hospital. Let's let's check up on him. So and so's been
out sick for a while. Let's see how they're doing. So and so's going through
something. Let's send him a card. Let's let him know we're thinking about him. So
and so just had a baby. Let's prepare a meal. Let's pray. Let's let's let him know
we're thinking about him. We care about their well-being. Let him know that we
care. Let's show some pity on them and some mercy. You'd say duh. Of course. But
why is Job having to say this? Because he had for his his friends were miserable
counselors is what he called them. And all they did was accuse and ridicule
and criticize. You know this this is something that we need to think about.
That when people are in a tough situation. When people are going through
something in life. They don't need enemies. They need friends. That's
important. You know it reminds me when I went through when I moved to Michigan
from South Dakota. When I was in the fifth grade. You know I had lifelong
friends that I had made there. Friends that helped me light fields on fire. Boy
it's just really tying in tonight. Keep going back to that that unintentional
lighting of a fire. I left Troy and I left Chris right. I left all my cousins
that I had there. That we had friends. Rusty, Ryan, Corey. Left all these these
childhood friendships. People that I had done a lot with. Ridden bikes and other
things. Caused trouble. Caused grief. Right. Did all the things that kids do. But you
know what? When in the fifth grade, middle of the school year, mom says well we're
moving to Michigan. Pack it up. We're going. We're starting all over. That's
hard. That's not easy for somebody to do that. That's difficult when someone has
to leave their familiar surroundings and friendships and relationships and come
to a brand new place and start all over. I've been through it. And I got to Willow
Hill Elementary. And I'm glad I don't remember these guys names because some
of them were really big jerks. Ben. That's his name. Ha! Remembered it. Ben. I had to
share a locker with Ben. And Ben was a jerk. I mean Ben was pulling all kinds of
stuff. He was always picking on me. And because I was the new kid, you know. And
they had a friend on the road, Matt. And of course I made friends over time. But I
tell you what, when I first got there, it was it was tough. It was tough to try and
start all over. And what I needed was a friend. I didn't need somebody to be a
jerk and spit in my gym shoes when I wasn't looking and and do everything
else that Ben did. I need somebody to be a friend. And eventually I got that.
Now go over to Proverbs chapter 27. Proverbs chapter 27. When somebody is
afflicted, when a friend is afflicted, when they're going through something, you
know, we should care about their well-being. That's what a friend does.
They reach out to them. They show pity to them because they're going
through something. Good friends care about your well-being even if it
means they have to put you in your place. That's another great thing about
friendships. Sometimes friends have to come to us. A real friend will come to
you. You know, what's his name back there? Shua. Or not Shua. What was his name?
Like Hira the Adolomite. You know, if he was a good friend he would have put Judah
in his place. Whoa, whoa, what are you doing? I'm just gonna go into this whore.
What's wrong with you? No you're not. Just grab him. Slap him around a little bit.
Snap out of it, man. What's the matter with you? You filthy, low-down, dirty dog,
you know, and just got in his face and tore him up one side and down the other
and put him in his place. That's what a good friend would have done. So he was a
bad friend. So good friends, they'll care about your well-being even if it means
having to put you in your place. You there in Proverbs chapter 27, look at
verse 5, it says, open rebuke is better than secret love. Open rebuke is better
than secret love. Look, there's nothing loving about keeping back a rebuke for
somebody that deserves it, that needs to be put in their place. There's nothing
loving about that. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the
kisses of an enemy aren't deceitful. Faithful are the wounds of a friend. Look,
when a friend is coming to you and they're inflicting pain, when
they're putting you in discomfort, when they're putting you in your place, it's
because they love you. It's because they want you to succeed again. Because why?
Because they care about your well-being.
Here's another point I want to make when it comes to good, what makes a
good friend. Go over to Proverbs chapter 17. Good friends will remain a friend. You
know, good friends, they'll be able to overlook your faults. They'll be over to
overlook your shortcomings. They'll be able to forgive you when you offend them.
And look, if we're going to be around each other for any length of time, we're
going to step on each other's toes. And people need to learn to forgive. That's
what good friends do. I mean, isn't that what God did for us? And did he not say, I
call you friends? And we'll look at that here in a minute, but did he not forgive
us for all of our transgressions and all of our iniquities and all our offenses
out of love? The Bible says in Proverbs 17 verse 17, a friend loveth at all times.
The good times, the bad times, all of it. When you're being a jerk, they might tell
you, hey, you're being a jerk, but I love you. When you're not being a jerk, all of
that. They love you at all times. Now, this feels odd for me to say being 39
years old, but my best friend. Do you still do that as an adult? Do you still
rank your friends like you did in school? My best friend. You're my second best
friend. I just have the best friend. Okay. And I have a best friend, somebody
that's just, you know, been my friend for a long time. I'm not gonna say who it is.
You can all wonder amongst yourselves, but you know who my best friend is? My
best friend is the guy who's always treated me the same. He's just from day
one, be the just generous, fun, kind, laughs at my dumb jokes, gets me and he's
just always treated me the same. Even when I messed up here or said something
stupid here, offended him here or didn't show my thanks or appreciation here, you
know what? He just kept treating me the same. Just kept loving me and being nice
to me and being generous. And I said, that's a real friend. And let me tell you
something, you're lucky if you get to the end of this life and maybe this is just
my cynicism coming through, maybe you would disagree with this, but I've heard
it said and I believe this, that if you end your life with just a few good
friends, you've done well. I mean, friends aren't always the easiest thing
to come by. We should not take them for granted. I mean, I thought Troy and Chris,
we're gonna be, I mean, we're gonna grow up together and we're gonna be best
friends for the rest of our life. You know how many different best friends I've had
over my life? Quite a few, because situations change, circumstances change,
people change, friendships change. But my best friend at any season has always
been the one who's just always treated me the same, has always loved me. I'm not
saying he didn't, he hasn't said, hey, you know what, you're kind of being stupid.
Hey, you know what, you're kind of being a jerk. I'm offended. But he's doing that
because he loves me, because he wants to see me succeed. Look, we should desire
friendships, folks, because, you know, one, friendships, you know, they're very
powerful. They're a very influential part of our life, you know, probably second
only to our family. They can help shape us who we are, our character,
our behavior, they're important. We should want friends, and we should be careful
about who we choose as friends. We already looked at that, and it's
good that you should want friends. In fact, it's healthy, it's normal, it's
natural, but if you want friends, go over to Proverbs 18, let me tell you something,
it's going to take effort to have friends.
And let me just say this, in this small circle of people that assemble here, in
this church, you know, your friends are important, because there's not a lot of
us. How many independent, fundamental, King James only, Bible believing, soul
winning, that likes heart, how many people do you know that are like that
outside of this room? Or that are not part of another church? Probably not
any, I would guess. That you could just go see in the flesh at any time. That you
could just go hang out with and be a friend to. I mean, you probably know
people like that that are in other parts of the country, in other parts of the
state, but how many people do you just have at hand that are think like you,
believe like you, dress like you, talk like you, walk like you, feel like you,
have the opinions that you have? I'm not saying that every single thing is
exactly the same, but how many independent, fundamental, Baptist people
do you have that are just right there ready to be your friend? Probably pretty
few. That should tell us that friendships are very, very precious
things, and if you want to be a friend to somebody, it's going to take effort. Look
at Proverbs 18 verse 24. A man that hath friends must show himself friendly. A man
that hath friends must show himself friendly. You know, you're not gonna have
friends by not being friendly. That's why they call it unfriendly, right? If you're
an unfriendly person, no one wants to be your friend, and I'm here to tell you
that you should want friends, but if you want friends, it's gonna take effort, and
you're going to have to be what? Friendly. You're gonna have to try smiling and
making eye contact and talking, and there might even come times where you have to
forgive and forget. All of these things. And why is that important? Well, look at
the rest of the verse. That's not that important. And there is a friend that
sticketh closer than a brother. You know, there is a friend. You could have a
friendship in your life as somebody that's just going to be there closer
than a brother. I mean, a more stronger bond than even family in some
instances. You can have that friend. They're out there. Now, if we have a
difficult time making friendships, if we have a hard time maintaining friendships,
we just take a big step back and examine why and say, why is it? Is it because I'm
unfriendly? We cannot be contrary. We cannot be opposed to people if we want
to be their friends. Jesus said in John 15, ye are my friends if you do
whatsoever I command you. You can't be contrary to some somebody. You can't
oppose them and then say, oh, I want to be their friend. That's not how it works.
That's what Jesus said. Ye are my friends if you do whatsoever I command you. Look,
if you're gonna be contrary to me, if you're gonna oppose me, if you're gonna
withstand me, if you're gonna do me ill and not good, then you're not my friend.
That's what Jesus would have said. Look, you'll be my friend when you do
whatsoever I command you. Now, I'm not saying that in order to have friends we
have to have people boss us around, but what I'm saying is we can't be contrary
to people and expect to be their friends. It's just not gonna work. A man that hath
friends must show himself friendly, and when we get at odds, that's what causes
friendships to cease, and I've had friendships in like that, good
friendships, close friendships. Maybe they weren't the best. Maybe there were people
that probably was better that they went anyway because it was bad. It was kind of
a bad relationship, but they didn't end well. I mean, I had friends
growing up that I thought, you know, these are my good friends, and boy, things just
got weird, and next thing you know, things end real bad, and we just stop talking,
and it's just awkward, and it's not good, because being at odds with one another,
that's what's going to cause friendships to cease. Now, let me just
say this, okay, because this is a policy that needs to be understood by everyone
in the church, because this is something that keeps coming up over and over again,
and will continue to keep coming up over and over again throughout the years in
this church, because churches are filled with people, and people are imperfect, and
people need to understand this, okay? This is the policy at Faithful Word when it
comes to church relationships. You do not have to be everybody's friend. That's an
unrealistic expectation. I would never put that on anybody. I would never go to
somebody and say, you must be this person's friend, or expect that everybody
in the room is going to be friends with one another. Look, people gravitate
towards one another. They find each other, and that's great, and that's the way it
ought to be, but I will say this. Though you do not have to be friends with
everyone in this church, you do have to be civil. That's the rule. You have to get
along. You have to endeavor to keep the bond of peace. You have to endeavor to
keep the unity in the bond of peace in the local church. Go read Romans 15. Go
read the Bible Memory passage. Get down there to the very last verse in our
passage where Paul says he wants us to be of one mouth and one mind. We want
unity in a local church, and you don't have that when people are being uncivil
with one another, and this is something that has come up several times. It comes
up all the time in churches, because again, people are just people, and they
have to go through these things and learn them. I understand that, but that's
the rule, and what do I mean by civil? You say hi, shake hands, make eye contact, be
willing to have like just a basic discussion, have an open line of
communication. That has to be there. That's civility. Look, go try that at work.
Go get a job and try that attitude at work. I'm not talking to that person.
Well, they're your work partner today. You're gonna ride in the truck with them
and go do this job. Well, I'm just not gonna look at them or talk to them all
day. You're not gonna get anything done, and you're gonna get fired with that
kind of an attitude, but we expect we can just bring that into the church
because it's not our job. No, you have to be civil because here's the thing. We are
at work. We are trying to accomplish a goal here, and we're all involved in that
work of soul winning, glorifying God, all of it, okay? So everybody has to be civil
with one another. Do you have to be friends with everybody? No, but you can
shake hands, you can say hi, you can be friendly without even being friends, and
you can smile. Now let me say this. Who should we seek out as friends? Our
friends should be those with whom we share a common goal. That's who our
friends should be. People with whom we have something in common. A common goal.
Something that we're both striving for because you're gonna have common ground.
Go over to Proverbs chapter 27. The Bible says in Song of Solomon chapter 5,
this is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem. Of course
that's the wife, the Shulamite, talking about Solomon, her husband, but not only
was he her husband, she called him, you know, her friend. Now I don't know, you
know, obviously two cannot walk together except they be agreed. I mean talk about
what other relationship do you have to be in one accord more than that of a
marriage? Meaning that, you know, as a couple, as a married couple, we're
striving towards the same goal of raising a family and glorifying God and
all of that. You think we're gonna accomplish that if we don't have that
same goal for both trying to go two different directions? No, you have to have
a common goal and that's gonna make you, right there, friends. Just like
the Shulamite and Solomon. What made them friends? They were both saved, they were
both Christians, they were both loved the Lord, they both loved his word, they both
loved the work of God. That's what made them friends, having a common goal. Look
at Proverbs chapter 27 verse 17. Iron sharpeneth iron, so a man sharpeneth the
countenance of his friend. He's saying just like a man sharpens another man's
countenance, you know, makes him sharp, puts a smile on his face, you know, the
countenance, the face, the look, you know. You can just look at people and just can
tell what kind of mood they're in most of the time. You know, some of us can get
very stoic and can just, you know, hide it, you know. It's hard to get a
bead but most people, you know, a lot of people it's to a fault where they just
wear everything on their sleeve, right, and just having a good day. I'm having a bad
day. I could tell he didn't have to say anything. Other people they go you could
tell they're having a good day because they're just always chipper, right. You
want to make somebody's countenance better? You want to sharpen somebody's
countenance? You know, you're gonna have to get a friend who's made of the same
material that you're made out of. Iron sharpeneth iron. Look, when we have our,
when our friends are made of the same stuff, when we have the same goal, when
we're, we have similarity, when we share things in common, that's what's gonna
sharpen us and that's why it's so important that we make our friends with
people, we make friends with people who share a common goal. You know what some of
your best friends should be? People in this church. I'm not saying everybody has
to be, and if it doesn't happen that's fine, but you know who your friends
should be? People in this church, or people like people in this church. You
know, other independent, fundamental, Baptist, fire-breathing, sin-hating,
soul-winning, so on and so forth. You get the message. People like us that who have
a common goal, who are iron sharpening iron, that's what's gonna make us sharp.
That's what's gonna improve our countenance, and that's gonna make the
friendships we have all the more precious, because going back to what I said
earlier, you don't find a lot of people like us. That's why Jesus said, called us
his little flock, right? Because there's not a lot of us. People are not lining up
to serve Christ today, I don't know if you noticed. You know, I'm not, we're not
just knocking down walls left and right to just let all the throngs of
God-loving, soul-winning Christians into the faithful word Tucson, and we
don't, I mean, I pray for that. I hope that happens one day, but I'm
grateful for every person that's here, but because that's not happening, it just
makes everybody that is here all the more precious to us, and all the more
important to us. The friendships that we have should be people that share a
common goal. That's gonna make the friendships, the potential friendships,
or the friendships that we do have all the more precious, because not everybody
shares the common goal is not so common, okay? I want to just close by
saying this, go over to Proverbs chapter 17, where you were, Proverbs chapter 17.
Value friendship, that's really the message tonight. Of course, we started out
talking about, you know, be careful about your friends, you know, be careful who
your friends are, good or bad, I mean, they're gonna have an influence on
you one way or another, but value friendship. It's something that needs to
be valued, because good friends, they're the ones that are gonna see
you through trying times. You know, we talked about it during announcements,
there's some people in our church, maybe not here, but people, some of us know,
maybe not everybody, but I'm sure you could think of other examples of people,
friends that you know, that are going through difficult times. You yourself
have probably gone through difficult times, and you probably appreciated
having a friend to be there, to come alongside, and just be there. Just sit, to
help, to listen, value your friendships, because friends, good friends, that's
what's gonna see you through trying times. That's gonna remind you that this
will pass. They might be able to relate to you, tell you about an experience they
went through, or be a help to you, or be a blessing to you, or pray for you.
Friendships are important, and we should value them. Proverbs 17, verse 17, it says,
a friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. For
adversity. Look, we should have friends, because we're gonna go through adversity.
We're gonna go through difficult things. Well, I don't need any friends. Well, it
might be a long, hard life without any friends, and when you go through trials,
and you go through troubles, and you go through ups and downs of life, it's just
gonna be a long, lonely experience, because we don't need any friends. No, we
need friends. They're important. Let's value them. You know, life is hard enough.
Life is hard enough with, let's not make it harder by not having friends.
You know, having friends makes life easier, not harder. I mean, the wrong
friends can make life harder, right? But when we understand what makes a
good friend, somebody who's going to encourage us, somebody's going to help us
in the Lord, somebody who's going to care about our well-being, whether
that means encouraging us, or, you know, or correcting us, those good friends, you
know, they're gonna make life easier. So let me just close by saying that, you
know, friendships are something to be valued tonight. Friendships are
influential on our lives. So make an effort to be friends with people. You
need that influence in your life, because you're going to be influenced by
somebody. You know, and when you end this life, if you end up, if you end up with a
few good friends at the end of this life, you're fortunate. It is a precious thing
to have. Let's go ahead and pray.