All right, so the part of the chapter I want to focus in there on Proverbs chapter 25 is actually the very last verse where it says
He that hath no rule over his own spirit
Is like a city that is broken down and without walls
So what is he when he's saying he that hath no rule over spirit to kind of bring that in the modern vernacular
What we would probably refer today as a guy who can't keep his attitude in check, you know
Somebody who's maybe a hothead or somebody who just allows every little thing to get to him
Or maybe it's a lady, you know, everything is just something that is the end of the world, you know
Something goes wrong and all of a sudden everything's falling apart
And what it's what it's saying is here that we need to be people who can rule over our spirit and not just let circumstances
Or life just toss us to and fro and be on this just emotional roller coaster. We need to be steady and stable people
And I love the analogy that he uses here
He says here that a person who cannot rule his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls
Now, of course back then, you know
Walls were very important to a city, you know
They had to be built in order to defend the city from outside intruders from armies that would come to attack it
And so this analogy here would show us that when we don't have rule over our spirit
That we are defenseless in a way having no control no rule over your attitude, you know
It it or the way you react it leaves you vulnerable is what the bible is saying here
It leaves you vulnerable to a lot of uh, you know bad outcomes in your life
and
Every you think about a city that doesn't have walls
I mean you think about an army can just march right in there and just do whatever it pleases
Nobody's safe. It can just walk in anytime it wants
You know, it's going to encounter very little resistance and it's just going to do whatever it likes
And that's kind of the bible saying here we need to rule our spirit so that we're not like that city
Where every every circumstance every influence in life?
You know just marches its way into our heart and just you know messes things up and just has us all turned around
And the way we know whether or not we're really ruling over our spirit
Is the way we react, you know when think because here's the thing things are going to go wrong
Things aren't going to go the way we like
We're going to get bad news
You know things bad things are going to happen
But we need to we can but when that happens we can step back and kind of measure how?
Well, we're ruling our spirit by the way we react to those circumstances
If you would go over to proverbs chapter 15 proverbs chapter 15
The bible says a wholesome tongue
Is a tree of life but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit
So again, you get this idea of a breach in the spirit a person who has no rule of their spirit
It's like a city without walls. There's no protection. There's a breach there, right?
And when that breach is there when those walls don't exist
The way you can tell is by the way you react and how do we react usually to circumstances? How do we react to other people?
We react with our mouth. Don't we we say things back we respond
Verbally, right? We often vent our frustrations verbally
And the bible says here that a wholesome tongue is a tree of life
But perverseness it therein is a breach in the spirit
so when things that are coming out of our mouth that are perverse and
What I believe he's referring to in the sense is not being lewd or crass
But things that are not right at the opposite of a wholesome tongue
Things that are not edifying things that are not beneficial
When those are the things that are coming out of our mouth that shows that we have no rule in our spirit
That there that we have a breach in our spirit
So the person who has a rule over his spirit, you know, he can keep a wholesome tongue right even when bad things happen
He's not going to fly off the handle. They're not going to lash out verbally and and and try to you know,
Hurt other people
Or say things that are discouraging so on and so forth, you know, there's a lot of different examples of that
And at the source of that, you know, of course, we all understand what the bible says out of the abundance of the heart
The mouth speaketh
So really it all kind of comes back around, you know, we we need to control our spirit
We need to rule our hearts. And if we do that the things that come out of our mouth are going to be right
They're not going to be they're going to be wholesome. They're not going to be perverse
If that makes sense, if you would keep something in proverbs go to ephesians chapter chapter four ephesians chapter four
There's an association here with having rule over your spirit
And having control over your mouth having control over your tongue
You know, I heard a preacher say and I think i've expressed it here as well as that
If you can learn to rule your tongue as it says in james, you know, you you you can rule the whole body
That if we would just focus on our tongue and the things that come out
Very soon. We would probably have a lot of other things in our life. Just line right up
I don't know why all that is. We could probably preach about that, but I believe there's some truth to that
Look there in ephesians chapter 4 verse 29
He said let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth but that which is good to the use of edifying
And that's what we need to ask ourselves are the things that we're saying the things that we are expressing
Are they good to the use of edifying?
That they administer grace under the years and grieve not the holy spirit of god
Whereby you are sealed under the day of redemption you say why is it a big deal that I rule over my spirit?
Because it affects your tongue
Why is it a big deal that I affect that I rule over my spirit and control the things that I say?
Because of the fact that you know, it's it could edify somebody or it could actually, you know, do the opposite
It could bring somebody down. It could be a discouragement to somebody or
How about this it would god's going to take notice of it and it's going to grieve him
I mean god pays attention to the things that come out of our mouth
And sometimes we can find ourselves in a place where the things that are coming out of our mouth is a grief unto god
Who has sealed us on the day of redemption and it can be a source of grief to him
So there's a lot of good reasons as why we should learn to control our spirit, you know
Why we should learn to have rule over our spirit
If you would, uh go down to verse 31
He says let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking
I mean, these are all things that you would say come out of a person's mouth bitterness
People express bitterness with the mouth. They say a lot of wrathful things with the mouth
Anger often is expressed through the mouth
Clamor and evil speaking come through the mouth be put away from you with all malice
And be kind one to another tender hearted. There's the heart again the source
Of what comes out of our mouth ruling our spirit ruling our heart. You can see how these things are related
Forgiving one another even as god for christ's sake hath forgiven you
And see the reason why we need to rule our spirit
Is because of the fact that if we don't those around us are going to suffer, you know
And we could think about this in every area of our lives
If we don't control our spirit
I mean, maybe we're real good about controlling it in this area of our life
But when we get in this situation or this circumstance, we just kind of let things go
You know, it's going to affect people around us negatively and we have to be in control of our spirit
We need to learn to rule our spirit if you would go back to proverbs chapter 11 proverbs chapter 11
The bible says death and life are in the power of the tongue. That's a powerful statement
And we could think about several ways that that's true that death and life are in the power of the tongue
I automatically think of soul winning
Preaching the gospel, you know, we're going out we have death and life in our tongue. We have that power
We are a saver of life unto life to them that believe and a saver of death unto death of them that believe not
He says death and life are a death and life in the power of the tongue and they that eat it
A love excuse me and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof look there at proverbs chapter 11 verse 9
Proverbs 11 verse 9 he says and hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbor and hypocrite with his mouth
Destroyeth his neighbor now you think of a hypocrite would be the things that he does
Because those are often what makes a person a hypocrite or what they don't do. They say one thing they do another
They say one thing they don't do that the thing that they say you should do
You know, they're hypocrites they say and do not
But it's their mouth that actually is destroys them
It's their mouth that you know, if they were if they were a hypocrite, but didn't use their mouth, you know
Maybe their neighbor would be all right
But it's the fact that they're going around saying one thing and doing another that destroys their neighbor
And I think this is you know
This is something that we as christians to take heed to
That we can actually destroy our neighbor. Now. How would you destroy your neighbor? Well, think about
You know a person going to hell
You know, that's what I think about that. I mean, it's called, you know, uh,
You know, it's called destruction, you know hell and destruction are before the eyes of the lord
So how we could destroy our neighbor is by saying or being a hypocrite, you know by being a hypocrite
We could actually send somebody to hell
Now obviously that person has a choice to make on their own
But here's the thing. There's a lot of people out there that are looking for a reason to write off. God
They want a reason to just say well god's not true. I I knew it the bible's fake
All churches are the same it's full of hypocrites, right?
So let's not be that reason. Let's not be that hypocrite. Let's rule over our spirit so that we don't destroy our neighbor
You know, I think back and you know, this is something I say, you know, shame-facedly. This is something that I say
Uh, you know I share with you, you know
It's it's it's something that's been hard to live down, you know
And it's just one example, you know early on in my christian life
You know, I was you know a hypocrite with my mouth, you know, I think of one particular way
I was working for a a furniture company, you know, and we were going around the delivery truck delivering furniture
And there was this one guy that they had hired who was you know living in a halfway house. He was an older guy
Uh, you know, he he had been in and out of jail for drinking. He recently got divorced so on and so forth
The guy's life was just a mess
You know, and it's not like I was going around with my bible at work, you know
Just trying to beat people over the head with it, but they knew that I was a christian
They knew that I was you know
Saved and then I believed in god and all of that and I tried and here's the thing. Nobody's perfect
You know, nobody is going to you know, never make a mistake
But we should strive not to but here's the thing. I remember we were driving in the in the work van one day
And you know it and of course it's road rage and that's going to be an illustration that I use that illustration because that's the one
I'm very familiar with
I've spent a lot of time in vehicles and anybody else that has knows what this is like
So i'm driving this big delivery truck and some guy
You know does something in the other lane and just under my breath just some cuss word came out
and that guy
Was just looking and he's like, oh that's not in your vocabulary. That's what he said to me
So what'd you just say?
And he called me on it and I remember just thinking oh i'm a terrible human being
And i'm the worst christian that's ever lived. How could I do that?
And i'm not saying it's right but here's the thing and i'm not you know
That made me and at least in his eyes look like a hypocrite
Because he knew christians aren't supposed to talk that way that they're supposed to be kind and patient
And what are you getting upset for? Why are you cussing over there in the driver's seat?
Right
And I you know, I don't know if that guy was going to get saved or not anyway or whatever whatever happened to him
He wasn't there very long
But maybe that one little thing was enough for him to just say well, I I knew it all christians are a bunch of hypocrites
Right or wrong, you know whether he's right about that, you know writing his right to
Use me as his excuse to write god off and write the bible off, you know, whatever that doesn't matter
The fact is in that one moment. I lost control of my spirit and something came out of my mouth
It came out of my heart
And you know what? It might maybe it was maybe it was something that that guy used as his excuse and ended up destroyed
You know and that's a pretty mild example
That's a very mild example, but you know, we could think of other people who have made much worse sins
We've gotten, you know involved in much worse things
That have been brought a reproach upon the name of christ where just many people are saying I knew it all along
These guys are all fakes. These guys are all hypocrites
And just write off god right off church, you know, that kind of thing goes on out there
And that's why the bible is addressing it here. He's saying look a hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbor
And we don't want to be those type of people and that's why we need to rule
Our spirit and be careful about the things that come out of our heart and out of our mouth
You know a lot of people out there are looking for a reason to write off god let's not be that reason
So we could think about different ways that you know when we lose control of our spirit, what does that look like
And probably the first thing that we all think of is anger, you know, that's probably one of the biggest ones we get angry
Right
And you know again, uh, this is something I I know I struggled with, you know much more in the past
You know, we would get angry I would get angry about you know
Stupid things and and I had to step back and say this isn't accomplishing anything
and have to pray and get that right, you know, but
What that is what that stems from often our anger and our frustration is a lack of control
An inability to rule our spirit if you would go over to proverbs 16 proverbs 16
Since i'm just you know, pulling all the skeletons out of the closet
I remember I think i've shared this one here before this was a major and I remember it and it's an illustration
I use probably hopefully not too often because it was it seriously was a turning point, you know for me
It was like a milestone in my christian life
I remember I was you know living, you know, I wasn't living in a shack down by the river anymore
You know, I was on my way there actually
But I was living in a I was actually living in a house that had been a chicken coop then a cow
A pig pen a cow barn and then a horse stall and then was covered into a house
Another story. Okay, that's where i'm living, you know, and things aren't going that great finance, you know
I'm young in the lord and you know things are i'm learning the hard way, you know
And I remember my car had problems and I got out of my car and you know
It was stalling or something. There was some problem with it
and rather than trying to figure out what the problem was and address it and
I just lost control of my spirit and I got out and I just started kicking the car
Now it was more than just that moment that I was frustrated over
It's probably a lot of other things that were going on
But I remember just kicking i'm like kicking dents in this car kicking a dent in the fender kicking a dent
In the door and after I'd done all my kicking and got it all out and you know blew my top and I started to cool down
My car was still broken
And but now it had dents in it not only did I have you know mechanical issues now I had body work to do too
Why because I lost control of my spirit I remember in that moment just saying
You know losing your you and I think I might even talk to my pastor about at the time
I don't know, but I just remember thinking
That accomplished nothing, you know, and I was probably you know, I read I was reading problems a lot back then
Maybe I even read this these verses and was like well that's the end of that i'm gonna work harder
I'm, not losing my cool, you know of trying to rule my spirit because that's the that's the one probably one
You know reaction that we think of the most when we think about a person not ruling their spirit
We think of them person who's very angry
Now here's the thing is angry being angry always a sin. No, of course not we know that
You know, we know we know there are righteous men of god that god himself gets angry gets mad gets wrathful gets vengeful and all
those things
But we can't run with that and say well now every time I get angry. It's righteous indignation, you know me getting out and and
Kicking my car half to death was not righteous indignation, you know, that was just an immaturity that had to be grown out of
Now if you would look at proverbs chapter 16
I'm talking about ruling our spirit tonight ruling the things that come to our mouth keeping control of our emotions
He says in verse 32
He that is slow to anger
Is better than the mighty and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city
You know god's more impressed looks down is more impressed with a guy who can rule his spirit
And control himself than he is with a guy who might be boisterous and loud and violent and can go conquer an entire city
God's not impressed with that. He says it takes more effort for you
To just control your spirit that's more impressive to the lord. That'll let that sink in how important this really is
How much this really matters?
So
Because here's the thing when you when you are when you don't have control of your spirit when you don't
Rule your spirit like the bible says
You know that leaves us open to other sins
Think about it, you know when we get angry, you know that you'll be turning get into a blind rage a lot of bad things can happen
You know, i'll go back again to that illustration of road rage
You know, I sometimes you know, i'll go on youtube and watch these road rage montages just to remind myself
Of how bad things can get, you know, kind of keep myself in check
You know, so next time i'm down the 10 on my way to tucson or going back to phoenix
And somebody's doing something. I don't like I can recall that video to mine where you know
The vehicle's like flipping over in a ditch, you know or whatever where somebody gets out with a gun or something, you know
But that's a that's a good example that you know, we can relate to is that you know when we get angry often
That leads to other sins
You know somebody does something we don't like on the road we get angry it turns into road rage next
It's you know vehicular homicide
or manslaughter
You know why because it's in a moment
People who normally probably would just be perfectly calm in other situations
You know they get into that situation. Well, and it's you know, from a physiological standpoint, it's kind of understandable. I mean
On a subconscious level you're you're hurtling yourself at 80 miles at 75 miles an hour down the highway
You know and two thousand pounds of steel with a bunch of other people and all that's keeping you safe is a line of paint
In the road, I mean you're subconsciously already in a flight or fight state of mind
All right, so you're already there's always enough tension and stress there
So you can see why people could you know lose their cool in those moments, but that's not an excuse
We need to work on that, you know, and there's a lot of other areas in life. We could talk about not just you know
in commuting
You know in other areas, you know such as marriage, you know, that's a big one
You know people people lose their cool with with their spouses
And they fly off the handle they do things that aggravate each other
You know and rather than just staying calm and collected and talking about it. They just get frustrated. They lose control of their spirit
And bad things happen divorces take place people are hurt
Are you in proverbs go to proverbs 29 proverbs 29?
So
And the reason why and look this happens all the time I mean people
People go out and they they someone looks at them cross-eyed and next thing, you know, they're in a fist fight
People get mad at each other
They fly off the handle with complete strangers because they have no rule over their spirit
And they're just like a city with no walls and every emotion and every frustration
You just march right into their life and just do whatever they want with them
You know, they seem fine one day and then the next day
You know, they're they're in some situation where somebody does something that they don't like and bad things take place
They have no rule over their spirit
The bible says in proverbs 29 verse 22. You say why is that? Why is it? Why is it that people cannot rule their spirit?
Even in the face of of constant of the consequences that we know are there look is road rage and mystery
Is this a new phenomenon that nobody knows about?
I mean, I know when I I know when it's it's creeping up on me
I mean I was coming down this morning and there's this transplant from california in the fast lane, right, honey
All right, and she's just got a stack of her all of her goods are on top of her car with a big tarp
Flapping off of it
That's fine. But could you get over you know, you're you know, and she the people that cannot pick a speed and just stick with it
You know, i'm trying to I want to keep the cruise on and save some gas money, you know, i'm gonna be fucked anyway
But she's you know, i'm sitting there going why doesn't she get on right on her tail then she takes off
And I got to go around and then she's back again
But did I do good I did good didn't I?
I I kept my cool. I mean I was frustrated with her
But I just got in the other lane let everybody else deal with her
I didn't get in front of her and pump the brakes and get her to get over
I thought about it though. I tell you that much, you know, but now that i'm in that marked van
I have to be really careful what I do, right?
The pastor's going to be getting calls now. Like what are you doing out there? I'm like, oh no, I have rule over my spirit
I swear
But here's the thing. That's not that's not a mystery
We can tell when we're starting to feel
Like we're going to lose control of our spirit. We know when it's going to happen
We're when we're going to blow our top and we're going to get mad and we're going to lash out
And a lot of people do it. Why is it so common?
Because here's the thing
It takes humility to do that
It took humility this morning to let some california flake, you know do what they did to me on the road
You know, I had to I had to call myself and not prove anything, right?
Not all californians are flakes
Proverbs 29 verse 22 it says an angry man stirreth up strife and a furious man aboundeth in transgression
Listen to that. I mean guy a guy who's angry. He's just out stirring up strife
Just randomly, uh strife over here strife over there strife on the road strife at home strife at work
Strife everywhere I go. I'm just going to stir it up. I have no rule over my spirit. I'm an angry man
A furious man aboundeth in transgression
You know all that strife he's stirring up. It's going to lead to sin. It's going to lead to other sins
He's going to get involved in bad things. It's going to it's nothing good's going to come of it
And it says in verse 23, and you know, this is this is all in context. It's no coincidence
It says a man's pride shall bring him low
But honor shall uphold the humble in spirit
See it takes humility for a person
To control their spirit to rule their spirit
Because the humble in spirit will say
I'm i'm getting angry and there's no reason for it
This this perceived wrong
You know, the bible says it is an honor for a man to pass over a transgression
Maybe they really are wrong. Maybe you even have a reason to be upset
You know, maybe they forget to put the banana in the banana split
Right, I ordered it. You said you had the bananas and now you're telling me no bananas
Right and i'm gonna blow my top about it
Or maybe you just say how could I just have a little extra ice cream, you know
That's why we know you ordered the banana split. Anyway, you're trying to sound healthy. There's a banana in it
You really want the ice cream. Anyway, that's what it's all about
But we don't have to blow up over every little thing right but only humble people are going to be able to do that
people who can recognize
This isn't as big a deal as I think it is
I can I can suffer myself to be wrong here. I can you know, I can let it I can pass over this transgression
And let it slide
You know, let me just get in the other lane you go ahead
That that but that takes humility
That in that but that takes humility
But it's a man's pride that shall bring him low
That's what we can anger like i'm gonna show them who they they don't know who they're messing with
This is a ford e 350 man with a five point
Something leader in it. I don't know
When I step on the gas I can I can keep up with you
You know with my family in the car who's just you know tenaciously holding on
for life
You know why so I can prove a point so I can feel like the bigger man
No, we want to be it takes humility to rule your spirit
I mean the bible again would liken it onto a city that is with a broken city that's broken down and without walls
Is it was a person who can't rule their spirit. That's what they're likening them onto go over to proverbs 18
So
What is the wall then that is going to protect our spirit to help us control our spirit to rule our spirit
What is that wall, you know, it's going to be things like patience
You know and here's the thing what you you name the blocks whatever you want patience so on and so forth
But humility is the mortar that's going to hold all that together
Humility is the mortar of that wall that's going to make it up and make everything stick and bind and hold
And be strong and be able to resist that attack that wants to come in and take control of our spirit
The bible says in proverbs 16 i'll read to you pride goeth before destruction
And a haughty spirit before a fall
So again, you can see how pride
And haughtiness are the things that bring us low
You know things that we have people who are don't who lack humility are the ones that are not going to control their spirit
That are going to bound in transgression that are going to stir up strife
And end up suffering for it
If we don't learn to rule our spirit we are going to make costly mistakes in life
costly mistakes in life
You know going back again to the road rage
What if we what if we didn't have any control of our spirit this morning coming down here?
You know could have been a tragedy on the way down, you know
Things like that happen
People lose their cool
And the and terrible things happen
You know, that's that's just one example and we could we could talk about all kinds of other examples
We talked about marriage and other things
The bible says in proverbs chapter, uh, you're in proverbs 18
It says before destruction the heart of man is haughty and before honor is humility go back to proverbs chapter 14 proverbs chapter 14
You can see again there that's that's the balance there
Destruction haughtiness pride these things go together
honor humility
peace
long suffering tender heartedness these things go together
Proverbs chapter 14 look at verse 29 he that is slow to wrath
Is of great understanding now
Let that those words sink in a little bit here doesn't say he that is without wrath he that has no wrath
He that's never wrathful. Is that what it says?
No, he says he that is slow to wrath
He that the guy that you know, there's a time and place for wrath. Don't get me wrong
There is a time and place to get angry to get upset
To kick and stream and throw a fit and let everybody know about it, you know
If there's a good reason behind it there is a time and place for that
But it's probably not when we think it is quite often if we were honest
But he that is a slow to wrath. The bible says of great understanding
But he that is of a hasty spirit ex uh, uh, exulted folly
You know the hasty spirit the person has no control over their spirit
Just whatever happens they act quickly, you know, they make brash decisions. They fly off the handle
They exalt folly it follows them around
You know, it's it's a defining characteristic in their life now one area that you know, i'm just going to focus on a little bit here
Is the area of parenting?
You know, I always try to make it i'm always trying to apply it. You know, we got a lot of parents in the room
I myself being a parent, you know, we need to we need to think about our parenting
And I think this is an area that we need to think about
You know where where ruling our spirit becomes very important important
When we are parenting our children go over to colossians chapter three very familiar passages, but we're going to look at them
Again if we don't learn to rule our spirit it will cost us in our life
And it just might be you know, maybe it's not gonna be road rage
Maybe it's not gonna you getting into some fight somewhere
But it might cost you your kids
It might cost you a spouse. It might cost you your children
Maybe they'll get frustrated and go away
And go astray and not live for the lord
Maybe they'll look at you and say the hypocrite
And maybe they'll be that neighbor that we destroy with our mouth
Look here in colossians chapter 3 verse 21 fathers provoke not your children to anger
Lest they be discouraged
No, I don't think this means don't ever tell your kids anything
Uh, they don't like
All right, that's not what it's saying. He's saying provoke them not to anger
Lest they be discouraged
if you would
Uh go over to efusion's chapter 6. We'll see a similar passage as well
With very similar wording efusion's chapter 6 verse 4 again colossians 3 said provoke not your children to anger
Lest they be discouraged. It says in efusion 6 4 and he fathers provoked not your children to wrath the same thing, right?
And it says but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the lord
Now here's the thing we so what's it? What's he getting at here? How is it that we're going to you know?
Provoke our children to anger to the point where they're discouraged
Well, I think what he's referring to is don't have unreasonable expectations for your children
Don't demand perfection out of your kids because they're not perfect
And if we i'm not saying lower the bar i'm just saying make sure that's there's an attainable goal
I mean set the bar high, you know
Ask, you know require, you know high standards and all that but don't put it way up here where no
You know where it's where you don't even reach that goal. You don't even have any of them attain none of that
You're going to ask them to do it
It's an unattainable goal and sometimes we get carried away
Possibly we can anyway with parents or excuse me with our children with our parenting
By having these these unrealistic goals and expectations for our children and he says bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the lord
So we should be you know, definitely bringing up
So what does all that all entail bringing up the nurture and admonition of the lord?
Does that I mean obviously that involves
Does that I mean obviously that involves discipline it involves standards it involves
Everything that comes along with that
But what we don't we don't want to go beyond that we don't want to go beyond the nurture and admonition of the lord
I mean we can't show them from the bible. This is why we expect this of you. This is why we do what we do
right here then we have to step back and say
Is this a realistic expectation?
Am I putting something out there that's going to end up just discouraging them?
And say I can never please them. I can never
Reach this goal that they've set up for us
And notice here how discouragement between these two passages becomes wrath
And I believe that's a process, you know
They start out discouraged and then it just turns into wrath and anger and vengeance and all these things
You know kids can get fed up and they can lash out
Having not learned to rule their own spirit
You know, they just saw they saw mom and dad every time they got a little frustrated
It's just yelling and screaming and throwing things and why can't I do that?
You know, they didn't rule their spirit. Why do I need to rule mine?
So we need to learn to rule our rule our spirit again, this is just one area, you know
And i'm just touching on this tonight, you know, I mean we could talk about parenting
Do a whole series on that. That's a very important subject
But
I'm just just touching on a few areas
But what I want to just drive home tonight is the idea that we need to learn to rule our spirit
We need to recognize in ourselves that
If this is us that maybe we have a propensity
To fly off the handle
Maybe maybe we're soon angry
Maybe we're not slow to wrath
Maybe we all we need to work on that
He says, uh, because here's the thing. What what is
Where does this come from this this inability to rule our spirit? You know, we saw you know, it's
It comes from you know, uh the heart, you know, and it shows up in the mouth
But it really it comes from where it springs from is a lack of patience
And if you would let's go over to proverbs chapter 15 proverbs 15. We'll wrap it up tonight
I told you it wasn't gonna be a long one tonight. Hopefully i'm keeping my word. I
Nope i'm not but i'm going along already
I'll be on time. I'm not going long
But he says in uh proverbs chapter 15 because again an inability to rule our spirit, what is it?
Where does it come from a lack of patience?
A very patient. What does it mean to be a patient person? It means to be somebody
Who can put up with a lot of frustration and not lose it?
You know
People who can put up with a lot of frustration and difficult circumstances and stay cool under pressure
are considered patient people
People who don't have patience, you know, they blow up they lose it they crack
They can't rule their spirit
And I think another another area
You know, just you know, i'm going to come back to parenting a little bit in the end here
But I thought about this today when we're out there
In fact, I had an experience today out soul winning and I thought this was appropriate. So another area would be soul winning
I mean soul winning is an area. You don't want to go out and lose your cool
And i've and i'll be honest i've been guilty of that in the past
And some people think well, that's kind of cool
It's not
I mean it who I mean we could admit, you know
I remember I remember losing my cool for my dad when I was young before I got saved. I mean, I just blew up about something
I got real angry and I came down later and he's like, I bet you felt alive though, didn't you?
Because I bet your heart was pumping you probably felt pretty good. I was like, yeah, actually I did
you know, I don't even remember the I just remember that part of that story, but
You know, we don't want to just go out out there and just lose our cool out out soul winning
We don't want to be a hypocrite and destroy our neighbor
You know, and i've i'll be perfectly honest. I've found myself in the street yelling at somebody you judy eyes hurt you like no
And then i'm going to go to their neighbor and knock on their door
They were watching me the whole time out the window. They're coming. I see me coming to their door
They're locking it closing the shades. They got 911 just ready to push the button
Some psycho's coming over, right?
Is he gonna yell at me next you know, that's you know, that's why maybe I had every
Everything I was saying to that guy everything I was yelling at that guy was true
But does that make it right to have done it? No
And today we ran into a guy me and brother brother andrew
We ran into a guy and I could tell right away. He was the one guy who let me start giving him the gospel
But you know, they're like, yeah, you can show me
You can just read people, you know, hey, can I show you what it says
Oh, yeah, why don't you why don't you go ahead and try to show me what that says? Go ahead, you know
They get that kind of condescending. You can just see it all over him
And he was one of these guys
And I don't want to go into it long, but he I mean right away he just starts and well
Well, let me ask you, you know
If you if you were to read the bible, how do you know that's the word of god?
I mean if you were to read this book and you said something out of the bible
But you misspoke. Is it the word of god?
You are you all look as confused as I was
I'm like and i'm going what like literally i'm making this face going, huh?
And i'm getting frustrated. I can feel it. I could feel the the neck turning red and the first starting standing up the whole, you know, just
you know
Just ready to just close my bible and walk away
And and put up with it and he would probably snicker and laugh and say I got him
But I went back and forth from a little bit in kind way and I was telling myself in my head. Stay calm. Stay calm, you know
10 9
8
But he's saying, you know, hey if you if you were to read this book
And you were reading it to me at church and you said something wrong. Is that still the word of god?
I mean, it's just what just vain, huh?
vain jangling just dumb question
And i'm like, well if I said something wrong that doesn't make that not be the word of god and it ended up in the end
He was saying
He was just testing me, you know, and then he started bragging about some story
He was like, well, I know these other christians came over once and I said sure you could show me
The bible says and I got my bible out, you know, and I took him back to genesis and I said well, you know, who did
who did uh, who did uh
not not seth but um
Yeah, cain who did cain marry?
And I started to give him the answer. He said no. No, I know that's the answer
I know you know what it is, but i'm just saying I told those guys that you know what they did
They closed their bible and they just walked away
And I thought myself in that moment, you know, i'm sure glad I didn't do that
So that I when he first started in on me
And I started to get frustrated which I didn't just follow my instinct which was just like, you know, you're a jerk
You know burning hell, buddy
Go ahead you scoffer
You know because all I would have all that would have happened is i'd just been another story for that guy
Just another christian that came to his door that he got the better of that. He frustrated
That lost control of their spirit and couldn't just calm down and have a conversation
You know at the end I ended up fist bumping the guy and said god bless you. Have a good day
You know, can you believe that physical contact out? So my name is crazy
You know, I gave him a fist bump
And I just said hey, you know, I gave him a movie. I said, you know, I I just told him I said hey man
You know, I I he said I said let me ask you a question. Do you believe this is the word of god?
And he said he did
I said well i'm glad you do I said but your answer was wrong according to the word of god
You know, you said you had to be a good person to keep the commandments and stuff
As the bible says only you got to do is just believe and I said, you know, I know you're quarantining and all that
Here's a movie. Why don't you watch this?
And he was reluctant, but he took it and I feel like we ended it
Well, did it end did it seem like it ended well to you? Yeah, I think so, too
But i'd tell you something
there that first minute or two
I contemplated just going off
Because i've been there before and i've worked very hard when they'll run into those people
I even thanked him. I said i'm glad you keep me. I said thanks for keeping me on my toes out here
You know
And I thought boy that fits right into my spirit
I thought i'm sure glad I didn't lose control of my spirit out here and then have to come back here and preach that in front
of andrew
He'd been like wait a second. I was out there with you today. I saw what happened
Right, maybe that's the only thing that kept me back. It's like I gotta preach later
But the point being you know, I wanted we don't want to lose our cool out there soul winning
And I get there's people out there they they
It's if someone loses their cool. I don't hold it against them
Because I know how people can get and I and sometimes we have a bad day and we fly we're all human and stuff like that
But look if that defines your soul winning, you know, if if it's if if the numbers are, you know
Well three saved and you know four shouting matches every week
You know, you might want to check whether or not you actually have rule over your spirit
But just you know, so that's kind of one another area, you know that we want to control our spirit in
But you know going back to patience. What does it all stem from?
Where does this all this this inability to rule my spirit come from a lack of patience?
That's what I displayed towards that guy today was just patience. Let him let him go on his rant
Let him, you know, i'll get my two cents in eventually we can end this well
And we can you know, it'll be a good
Illustration when I get back to church
You know, it'll you know that all became because of patience and that's what's needed if we're going to rule our spirit and going back
To you know, the example of parenthood
Parenthood is absolutely a trying of your patience
You know, somebody was asking me earlier, you know, they said, you know when your kid goes through this thing in their life
You know, they I think it was you actually I think it was with teething
Right, he said man when your kid brother matt he says, you know when your child goes through teething why why is it so painful?
Do you think it's god just testing our patience?
You know, i'm trying to think of a real spiritual answer and just you know, come across very deaconly
And I thought about i'm like, yeah, absolutely. I don't know if I expressed at the time
But I thought it about again later and i'm like, yeah for sure. That's exactly probably what it is. God's just down there testing our patience
You know, it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's
He's just going to give us these little bundles of joy with no trials at all
Like he's just going to spoil this with these these little beings that just bring so much joy in our life. No, he's going to add
You know some other things there that we have to learn to to exercise patient because that's going to help us grow
As parents as human beings as christians, we're going to become more
Patient as well. So yeah parenthood definitely is a trying of our patience
You know in every area of their life
You know, i've only gotten up to you know, nine years with mine
I don't I don't know what
Lies ahead, but i'm sure that you know the end of the trying of our patience hasn't ended that there's more of it to come
And you know, I don't say that it's a bad thing, you know
That's that's often that's not the child's fault. You know, that's just the way they are
That's just the way god made them. They have to learn all these things, too
You know, it's not the the child's fault that they teething and hurt and get frustrated
You know, but it's our fault if we lose our cool
you know when the kids are fighting when when our patience is being tested and all we end up doing is just
yelling
or worse
you know that that is
Uh, there's no excuse for that. We need to work on that. We need to rule our spirit in this area
Because you know, how how is parenthood a trying of your patience? Let's just think of some some ways here. How about this?
You're responsible for teaching people who know nothing everything
How can that not be a testing of your patience and you have somebody who knows nothing about the world?
Nothing about life and it's your responsibility to inform them of all this
And to not misinform them to get it right yourself
That's of course a testing of your patience and those same people, you know our children they're going to go through growing pains
And
You know, so I think i'll just end it there I guess the last thing I would kind of say in that point is this
is that
You know, maybe this is just some random parenting advice. I don't know this really ties in with the sermon
But this would just be something i've been thinking about
A lot lately, you know for a while now
I've been thought about saying I thought this would be a good place to say this
Is that I think a lot of times, you know
Those of us that came up in in homes that maybe didn't have the best parents
You know, they they did the best they could, you know
I'm not trying to cast shade on them or bring them down or anything like that
But my parents were not the best parents, you know
and and
Here's the thing. I think a lot of times we those of us that come from that
We get so focused on not being what they were which is good to do
Look, there's things that my dad was that I definitely don't want to be
Okay, you know i'm not saying that to knock him. That's just the way it is. Okay
There's ways that my parents parented us or didn't parent us that I don't want to repeat
Okay, but I think here's the problem sometimes that we get so focused on not being what our parents were
That we forget to focus on being what they weren't does that make sense?
Don't focus, you know focus on being what your parents were
You know, we focus on being what our parents were or we focus on trying to not be what our parents were
Instead of focusing on being what they weren't
Maybe instead of asking, you know, trying to not be like them. We should just ask ourselves. What didn't they do?
We understand the mistakes they made and we don't want to repay them. But that's that can't be all that we focus on
We also have to come over here and say okay. Well, what didn't they do?
What can I do that they didn't do?
And now you're getting into the positive now you're taking up a level
You know just you know, if we the best of our parenting is gonna be well
I'm just not going to do what my parents did that's a pretty low bar
That's a really low I mean for some of that's a really low bar
You know and I I'm not going to say it, you know
I could say if me not turning doing the things that my dad did is is the the epitome of my parenting
That's a low bar
You know what? I mean?
Why not focus instead on what didn't he do?
Now i've gone from here to here now i'm adding to it
hopefully that makes sense and
You know, I just brought that up because parenting came up
And here's the thing in order to do that. You're going to need patience
in order to to patiently
Sit down with your children instruct your children bring them up in the nurture admonition of the lord that requires patience
You know, it requires that with your physical children or if you're going to go out there and have spiritual children, you know
out soul-witting it's going to take patience
To gently, you know meekly instruct those that oppose themselves, you know pre-adventure god will give that grant them repentance
And that all takes that all takes patience
And that's how you rule your spirit and hopefully tonight we we see the importance of ruling our spirit
We don't want to be like that city in our life that has no walls has no barriers where every every emotion
Just comes in and does whatever it wants in our life. We need to have these walls up
We need to learn to rule our spirit. Let's go ahead and pray