So the title of the sermon this evening is reasons to be family integrated. Reasons to be
family integrated. And you know of course you know we all understand here what family
integrated is. If we don't what that simply means is the fact that we keep all the kids
with us in the service. You've probably noticed that so far that we don't segregate
the families. We don't separate them and have the kids go off in other rooms with
and have a whole other service. And I want to kind of just go over some of the reasons
why we're family integrated. Because you know often in Christian life we start just to do things
out of out of out of habit. Sometimes we just start to do things because you know that's just
the way we've been doing them for so long. And we might actually begin to forget why we're
even doing what we're doing in the first place. And I think it's a good reminder you
know if you were looking for the Christmas sermon that was this morning. So you know if
you didn't get that one in I apologize but this is this is what's on the table tonight.
So we're gonna we're gonna get into this. But this is an important subject. This is something
that we need to nail down. And it's something that you know I have quite a bit of experience
with on both sides of being in a church for several years now that is family integrated.
And having been in a church that was not family integrated. Now granted when I was on
the other side when I was not when I was in a church that was not family integrated you know
I was there very briefly when I had my first child. However I was there and I was the guy
that you would send your kids to. You know I was this is seven years of junior church
and bus ministry talking so I know a little bit about what it's like to run these children
ministries. And I don't want to I'm not in the sermon let me just start out by saying this
just to clarify I'm not disparaging other churches that are not family integrated.
If there's a church out there that that has the reasons to have their ministries that they do
and they want to do what they do that's fine. You know there's plenty of great churches out
there that are not family integrated that you could be a part of and be a blessing in and grow
in and this is certainly not something that we need to you know break fellowship over. Now
I will say if if those that are pro-family or excuse me rather they are against family
integration you know they can go to the other extreme. We know we don't go to that extreme
to where we say you know you must be family integrated or else we cannot attend your church.
But I have heard of cases where they say your children will go in the nursery or you are not
welcome and that is that is not scriptural. That is not a biblical reason to forbid somebody
from fellowshipping. You know you're not going to find that in the list of sins in
first Corinthians five you know you know drunkard covetous refuses to nurse in the you know
separately in a bathroom stall. That's it's just not there so this is not something that
should should break fellowship for people. This is not something of that nature but nonetheless
I believe it is a very important subject and one that we need to be reminded of and quite frankly
to just be appreciative of the fact that we have a church that is family integrated.
So one of the reasons why we need to be family integrated is because look there in
first Corinthians or first excuse me Colossians chapter three in verse 20 it says well let's
begin here in verse uh let's begin in verse uh 17 and it says whatsoever you do in word
or indeed do all in the name of the Lord Jesus giving thanks to God and the father by him.
Then he begins to address specific people. He's addressing specific groups within the church.
Notice he says wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord. Then he
goes on to husbands love your wives and be not bitter against them and verse 20 it starts out
with this word children. You know what that tells me is that he was directly addressing
the children in that in this church. Meaning that this was this epistle was going to be read
in in in Colossians and all the churches and that the in order for the children to
hear them being addressed in this epistle they would have been present in that service.
They would have to have been there when it was being read. So we see that the Bible you know
one of the great things about it is that it's for everybody. It has a message for everyone
husbands wives and it goes on and address servants other chapters we see where it
addresses the those that are being served you know the masters the employees it addresses
pastors deacons laymen everybody there's no one in the world that the Bible doesn't address
including children. So you know perk up kids a little bit tonight that and understand something
if you don't get anything else tonight that the Bible is written to you
and you might not like what it says right it says there children obey your parents
in all things for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. You know it's telling hey kids you
want to you want to please God in your life here's a great way for kids to please children
or please God in their life obey your parents. You know when you when you disobey your
parents you're not just displeasing your parents you're displeasing God and this is kind of a side
note but you know hey think about that that's what this is saying here I mean beyond just
the fact that the Bible is addressing children what is it saying to the children that
they ought to obey their parents and when they do that that is pleasing to the Lord but
the point I want to make here is that it's addressing children within the church meaning
that they were there they were present when this was being read and what that also tells
me is that children of all ages are capable to learn from the preaching they say well
and it goes over their head well maybe maybe the preacher just needs to bring it down a notch
you know maybe maybe he needs to quit worrying about trying to sound like some pseudo
intellectual all the time and quit trying to you know you know just pour out some
you know flowery speech full of big words and actually just speak to people like normal
human beings and the kids will actually get something out of the service I mean that's what
this tells me that that children are to be there in the service so that they can learn
something from it because children are capable from learning in the service
you know Ephesians chapter 6 we're right there let's just turn over to Ephesians
Ephesians chapter 6 you know it addresses children more than once
excuse me it says in Ephesians chapter 6 verse 1 children obey your parents kids
were like maybe you'd say something else children you know go play outside or children
you know enjoy a cookie after the service no it says children by the way kids enjoy
a cookie if your parents are right with it but it says there obey your parents why
in the lord for this is right so again the bible is addressing children directly
and I think that's a great thing and some people would say well yeah I understand that
kids of a certain age and the kind of begin to understand thing but here's the thing I
believe that and even science tells us that that yet even infants and toddlers the things that
they're hearing and seeing I mean they're they're like little sponges and they're absorbing so much
even as as just infants and even as just toddlers there's so many things that they're
learning even you know even before they're born you know in utero there's I believe they're
taking in things they're absorbing things their minds are forming you know we think about you
know the songs that are sung you know all my children were were you know while they were in
the womb you know were in baptist church hearing the hymns being sung hearing the
preaching the word of god you know I can remember even even as an infant I don't know
which child was but they would they would hear the preacher's voice and they would kind of look
like they were it was already familiar to them like he already knew that who that voice was
because they had been there three times a week hearing this guy over and over again you know
there's nothing they could do about it you know they were kind of it was a captive audience right
so the point being that infants and children you know why should we keep them in the service
why should we why should we stick to our guns on being a family integrated church because of
the fact that kids can get something out of it because of the fact that infants and toddlers
can learn something you know I see this all the time in my own family my kids are growing up
and you know I'll come home from work or whatever my or my wife will show me some video
of one of the kids you know early on Karen was especially did this a lot before she had siblings
you know she she we have videos of her just preaching like you know now I understand she's
a woman this was not in the context of church you know this is in her living room
you know so you know this we're not we are in in sin here but we would see her you know get
out her bible and she would be she before she could even form words that made any sense
you know I was like man we got a Pentecostal in her hand you know
she's charismatic I was like she's filled with the spirit praise the lord so but you know she's
got up there and she's practicing preaching I've seen you know Corbin John he's sacked out
now but he would get up and he would we'll we'll catch him they'll go preaching they
used to sit around they'll sit around and play church you know wouldn't we want that for our
kids and I'm saying they're playing church like there's pews there's a nursery there's a
pulpit somebody's preaching they're singing you know people need are expected to sit up and be
quiet and not disrupt the service my mothers are taking the children out and spanking them and
this is crazy it's a full-blown church service in my kids living room and where did they learn
that you know they learn that from being in church you know and maybe they didn't get some
deep profound meaning out of the word of God but you know what they're getting used to being
in church it's that's what they're accustomed to and when they get older not being in
church that's gonna be very foreign to them they're gonna say whoa this this is strange
they're gonna want to be in church because that's what they grew up doing so that's why
it's so important to have children in the church you know and we we could take the time
but we won't for for the sake of time to turn back to Moses and we could read about how
Moses you know what it was uh you know they put him in the in the little the arc of
bull rushes and sent him down the Nile and of course we know the story you know Pharaoh's
daughter finds him and then his sister comes along and finds a nursemaid and which turns out
to be his mother and then after he's weaned he goes on and it becomes Pharaoh's the the daughter
of or excuse me the son of Pharaoh's daughter and but what is what happens later in his life
is that he ends up you know you know choosing rather to suffer affliction with the with the
children of God than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season now did he learn that in
Pharaoh's house you think that's where he learned what it was like what it meant to be a Hebrew
do you think that's where he learned who the true and living God was no i'll tell you where
he learned that friend he learned that on his mama's lap he learned that from the things that
he was told as a as an infant the things that he learned as a toddler something on a subconscious
level perhaps even made an impression on him at such a young age that when it came time for
him to make a decision of who he was going to serve with his life he chose God and why was
it because he had a godly influence you know that goes to show us not just the influence
you know that a godly mother can have on a child but also the fact that children very young
children can be influenced for God at a young age that's why you want to keep them in service
that's why we want them here hearing the preaching of the word of God getting used
to being in church and you know and they do learn things even small kids my kids have
repeated so many things over the years that they heard in some sermon just out of the blue
you know they'll call me on the carpet say dad pastor said you shouldn't do it i'm just
kidding well you know but they'll repeat something they heard in some sermon you know the and you'll
say wow i didn't even you know i thought you were just over there nose mining you know but
it turned out you were actually paying attention you know if you don't know what nose mining is
you know it's a anyway let's move along but the bible you know you know commands us to teach
our children as well and why does the bible command us to teach our children well let's turn over
to uh let's go to deuteronomy chapter six deuteronomy chapter number six i know we've been
in deuteronomy at least once a week for several weeks now but let's remind we've been through this
chapter let's go back and uh rehearse this again because this is an important truth
you know the bible commands us to teach our children the things of god
deuteronomy chapter number six let's look here and uh
uh deuteronomy chapter six beginning in verse five the bible reads and thou shalt love the lord thy
god with all thy soul and with all thy uh and with all thy heart and with all thy soul with
all thy might and these words which i command this thee this day shall be in thine heart
and thou shalt teach them diligently unto their children and shalt talk of them when thou
sit in the sign of house when thou walkest by the way and when thou lieest down and when
they'll rise us up look god wants us to constantly just be teaching our children the things of god
except when we go to church then it's somebody else's job then we're just going to send them
off somewhere else oh sure when we got them you know when we're rising up and sitting down
when we're in our house when we lay down and we get up all this so on and so forth
we're supposed to be doing it but now when we get to church let's let somebody else do it
that doesn't make any sense god wants us to take spiritual responsibility for our children
and not rely on other people to do it all for us you know children learn a lot about about
church just by observing their parents in church observing you know how their parents react to
church are they faithful to church are they there consistently you know do they get in the
cars they can you believe whatever you know they take all that in right there's a lot that
they learn about church not even necessarily what's preached across the pulpit but they learn these
things even at a very young age these things begin to sink in in them and make an impression
and will have dramatic effects on them later on in life the bible reminds us of let's remind
ourselves of daniel right we all know the story of daniel when that with him and the
three hebrew children shadrach nishak and abednego and daniel they're taken into uh you know
the land of captivity they're taken into babylon and they were just children at that time and we
don't know exactly how old but they the bible you know calls them children they were very young
right and uh of course they're they're they're brought into uh the king's court you know
they're put into uh the ward of the the captain of the eunuchs and uh he goes to feed
them the king's meat we all recall the story and daniel had purposed in his heart that he
would not defile himself the king's meat now what is meant by that it's not that daniel
had become a vegan right it's that he just he was not going to eat that which was sacrificed
on idols because he knew who the true and living god was now where did he learn that did he learn
that from some stranger you know singing uh uh you know well how's the song go we should you
know those of us that are uh i am one of them and so are you who knows this one come on
father abraham had many sons many sons had father abraham and i have one of them
and so are you so let's all praise the lord and then you do right foot father abraham many
sons many sons had father abraham you know and then you go onto the left foot now you're
doing this you think that's where daniel learned that father abraham had many sons
many sons had i told you i was in junior church i know them all buddy in right out right up right
down right happy all the time you want to do it backwards i can do that too out right up right
down right i get you all confused so i know i'm talking about here but hey did that where
daniel perp learned a purpose in his heart that he's not going to defile himself the king's
meat no he learned that when somebody a parent a preacher a priest you know at a temple you
know or at the uh at the at the at the you know in god's house sat down and opened up the word of
god and said he shall know other gods before me you know there is none else in heaven besides me
you know that these the names of these false gods will not be in your lips he learned that
from reading the old testament the law from learning from the bible and you know that's
where he developed the character and the knowledge and the wherewithal to refuse the king's
meat and to not defile himself he didn't learn that and you know some you know slap happy junior
church somewhere he learned that from you know the serious preaching of the word of god the
teaching of the word of god so we see first of all why what are one of the reasons to be
family integrated well it's it's to not because we don't underestimate the children's ability
to get something out of a sermon whether it be just sitting in the service and getting used
to sitting in a service or actually gleaning something from the preaching of the word of god
you know we're not always the you know diving real deep here there's some real just basic
truths that need to be preached that children can take and run with you know children obey
your parents is a great one right and there's a lot of other things that kids can learn just
by sitting in the service and listening to the preaching the word of god and you know why
why should we have them there because that's what's going to cause them to grow up and
serve god with their life that's going to be one of the core uh foundations of their
christian life is a is a history of being in church from a young child
and quite frankly i mean let's let's just consider for a moment
the alternative of not having the children in the service what would that be well that
would be putting them in another service called a junior church now who's familiar with junior
church okay most everybody in the room so what this basically is is you know you take kids that
are you know and the church that i was in if you were 12 years and under you were in junior church
and by the way i had kids from i had them from they had they were at it if you were at
a diapers all the way to 12 years old anywhere from 50 to 80 kids you want to talk about
having to be dynamic you want to learn how to you know if you weren't if you were juggling
sticks of fire and had lasers coming out of your eyes you were going to get eaten alive by
those kids like and there were some days where it was just like i felt like i was getting
alive because you know these kids are not coming from homes where they're being disciplined and
taught how to behave they're saying oh you go do it because here's the thing when you go out and
again i don't mean to disparage but this is just the reality of it you know when we go out
and we invite these kids to these these programs and yes we can preach the gospel to them and
get them saved that's great but we could do that at the door we could do that right then
and there we could we could just stop what we're doing and just preach the gospel right there
and not have to go through all the rigmarole but the alternative is the junior church method
now you know quite frankly and i'm saying i'm sure there's many exceptions this rule
but i mean what's it turning out is it really that successful is it really turning out
just these these you know uh these great men and women for god it's not it's teaching them
everything completely opposite of what we want to see you know the generation that's going to be
raised in in what they're what we call a fun center and that's what they are there's a world
of difference between the junior church and a service like this you know as you know maybe
i'll get up and joke around and sing father abraham had many sons that's serious business
over the junior church that's one of many wacky songs that we're going to sing one a lot
of other games you could teach them a lot of things i know we can get a lot in there
but the model of it of just the church is just about you having fun church is just about
you being entertained and then we're shocked when they grow up and they look for a church
that's just going to entertain them you know a lot of times it's being it's being run by a woman
you know quite frankly they're up they're the ones up there teaching the kids
and that's a whole other subject in and of itself so why is it surprised us when our kids
grow up and they go find a christian fun center they go down to chuck e cheese baptist
church where they have a woman behind the pulpit you know they go to the ecumenical fun
center and they and they have the you know the lady teaching them and they got the bright
lights and it's all about fun fun fun fun you know and the candy's in the back you know there's
a little coffee store back there where you can go and get your frappa mocha chino latte whatever
you know it's got all it's got all the trappings of a junior church and they're saying hey this
is what i grew up with this is what i'm used to i would rather see my kids grow up in a fire
breathing you know church where there's a man of god standing up saying thus saith the lord
and and getting up you know having some a fire in his belly and preaching the word of god
and yeah maybe sometimes it's not the most entertaining thing but you know what it's they
understand hey church is serious business this isn't just some game this isn't just some joke
this is life this is real so you know that's that's the why right there that's one of the
many reasons why we're not going to have a junior church ministry or anything of that sort
you know i will say this though at faithful word baptist church does have a children's ministry
and you're in it right now would you wear that or not this is your this is the children's
ministry are we not ministering to the children tonight yeah so that you know what in a sense we
do have a children's ministry we're sitting in it so what's another reason why to to have
a family integrated church it's not just because of the fact that children are capable of
learning and that they do learn many things you know it's not just because the all it really
one of the other reasons is because of the alternatives and one of the alternatives is
you know the the children's ministry the junior churches and you know we've already talked about
how you know it's giving them a taste for a different flavor of church and it really is
but how about the fact that segregating families and i like using that word
segregating families because that's exactly what it is what is the antonym of it to integrate
it is to segregate right so that's that's a strong thing think about that way you know we're
segregating families here you know and it's segregating families in church what you know
what that does is it leaves your children vulnerable to predators and it's not a pleasant
topic but this is the day and age we're living in and i know i i preached a sermon just a couple
weeks ago about you know the perverts and all of that but here's the thing this is
something we have to address when we're talking about the subject is the fact that when we
separate our children from their parents we are leaving them vulnerable to the worst elements of
society to come in and to violate them quite frankly and you say well i know but it's a baptist
church because that really happened hey i know of a church i know a guy who went to a church
and it's it was a known fact that the bus driver of the junior of the of their bus ministry
was a convicted pedophile molested his own daughter they did the background check and
they said yeah we just keep away from the kids we just let him drive the bus that's all he does
what's the point oh just do the background check the background check doesn't work friend
at all because all the background check is telling you is that some other kid it was it's
already too late for them because there's always the first time you get caught you know and it's
it's an unpleasant subject and i really don't want to get into it but this is this is the reality
that we're dealing with you know you can disagree with me about all these other things
you can say you know what you're wrong about the junior churches you're wrong about the bus
ministry that's fine i know there's a lot of good things that go on there i know there's a
people that we've seen saved out of it i know that there's people that even in this
ministry that have been saved out of bus routes and i'm glad for that i really am you can
disagree with me about all of that but you cannot deny the fact that when you segregate families
you are leaving your children vulnerable to the worst people in society predators
and they and we see this taking place you know i refer back again to the sermon that i
preached a few weeks ago about how the fact that we are seeing these these filthy perverts
creep into baptist churches and get behind pulpits and places of you know into positions
and churches to to take advantage of the young to take advantage of the youth and it's a shame
but this is where we're at and why is that because churches are soft targets that's what
these people call them it's that's an actual term a church is known as a soft target now
what do you mean by that look these these perverts and these pedophiles they understand the
message of the bible forgiveness patience long suffering mercy grace and they go oh
you know if i go in and do this you know they're just christians are just such nice
trusting people and they are they always they want to be nice and polite and we should be
and they'll move in and they and they take advantage of that and they work themselves in
these positions and you know and it's not enough to you say well you know
you know we just have you have multiple adults in there and i here's that doesn't matter
because that these type of things can happen that fast just something could just happen that
fast one one touch one you know one just one little thing and i mean just scar your child
you know just get them thinking about all the wrong things in life you know and you can go
down a dark dark road and uh that's why we are just dead set against it and you know that's
why these and and it's the stupidity just i'm sorry but just the stupidity of saying well
just run a background check that's always the excuse that comes up run a background check that
doesn't tell you anything all it tells you is they got caught and they you know it's estimated
that for every one they got caught for there's probably like i don't know a dozen more they
didn't get caught for you know how long did they go before they got that's why i'm against
these stupid background checks you know the only you know i said it again and said it then
i'll say it again the only check that needs to be taken place is an underground check as in
six feet under that's where we need to get back to in this country because you don't have to
worry about what that guy is going to do he's not going to do anything that's the kind of check we
need with these people but that's another sub another sermon what i'm preaching about tonight
is why should we be family integrated one because kids can get a lot out of the service
you know they can you know a lot of them i could tell you right now a lot of them are
perking up they're listening they're hearing the warning out of the word of god they're
hurting warning out of a man of god getting up and say hey protect yourself look out for strangers
you know these people are out there it's a it's a cruel reality but it's the truth
you know i can i know every time i start to think about this i think about the two times i
was nearly abducted as a child and if someone hadn't sat down and said hey you need to look
out for this if they say this or this is going on you need to get away and i can remember
clear as day six seven years old whatever i was just playing with my friend on the sidewalk in my
neighborhood some guy pulling up and some i could still see it was like a white buick and the door
opens up the window comes down or the door open i can't remember which it was but him just saying
hey i lost my puppy you want to come help me find him i mean it's like out of an after
school you know episode you know the one of those things that you know the public service
announcement you know i'm glad i heard that because i was like this dude something that's not
right whenever it's supposed to ask you about a lost puppy you're supposed to go the other way
i remember just looking at my friend and we just when we got out of there i mean who knows
you know what would have happened if i were just naive no one had warned me and i just gone along
with that you know the other one is a long drawn out story but if you're interested in
i can tell you about it later but anyway uh you know point being you know when we start
to hear about these things you know this is a good place for kids to learn that warning is
in church hey you need to look out for these people but if all the kids were in another
room tonight where they're just you know hearing you know some some other sermon about you know
hearing about noah's ark for the 12th time and about how all the animals come on there you know
i i recently gave away this great tie i had in junior church uh to a brother in church and it
was no it was noah's ark it was like he had the rain and it was noah like a cartoony and
he's on his little boat the giraffes coming out and everything and i just i just chuckled at it
because it we always you know we always project that it's just this cute nice little story
you know i'm like man i should stitch some bodies in there just like i know people floating
like let's get the real noah's ark not to the junior church you know dumbed down censored
version you know i mean that's what the bible says what happened folks and the bible says it
then you know every word of god is pure so might as well just preach it but what if they
were over there hearing that not hearing this message tonight not being encouraged to say hey
kids you know the bible's for you the church is for you you're you know we're ministering to
you this isn't just for mom and dad it's for you too hey you need to watch out you know where
the bible says that we're living in perilous times you need to be on your guard you know
and not you know be be wary of strangers uh people that are are you know trying to uh
corrupt you why because churches are soft targets
and here's here's another reason why so what are the reasons to be and
family integrated night because kids can learn the bible commands us to teach them
the they can have the impression even at a young age the alternatives are ineffective or at least
at the very least inefficient and also dangerous right here's another reason because
having children in the church forces everyone to grow up think about this if you are going
to be a parent who's going to attend a fam of a family integrated church you have to grow up a
little bit you have to be on your parenting game right because you that's why so many people
will knock on their doors they'll get same invite oh i really want to come to church and
then they go do you have a children's ministry well technically yes but i always say no you know
we're family integrated and you can just kind of see it you know and what they want what
they want to hear is yes we provide free babysitting you know that's what i used to think
when i ran my bus route it just became apparent to me that when i you know i'd be i'd be
picking up the same kids for years and the only way you could get the parents to come out is if
you have a you know 100 foot sunday you know where we go we gotta make hey come on out and
we're gonna make a world record you know ice cream sunday after service well i guess i'll
come out for that you know every once in a blue moon hey we're gonna have a carnival with
horses and pony rides and you know you'd have to just put on this huge show just to get the
parents to come out you know it became very apparent to me that when i went to their door
they said hey i'm from so-and-so baptist church you know we run we provide a bus
ministry we pick up local kids in the neighborhood we take them out and uh all they were hearing
babysitting free sunday afternoon without your brat and then you come home they're all
they're all they're all stone the whole place smells like pot thanks man it's like what are
we doing here let's just get the kids saved let's get the parents saved let's go get some
more kids saved let's go get some more parents saved instead of just picking up the same kids
over and over again just because mom and dad want them out of the house so they can have
some peace and quiet now again i'm sure there's a lot of good things that come out of it but
this is the reality of it at least that i experienced maybe maybe i'm a little jaded up here
you know maybe i'm a little cynical about the whole thing but you know that's hey that's what
happens and so but having children in the church it forces everyone to grow up and you just see it
you know when you're knocking on these people's doors and they get them saying hey well you
come on out to church well do you have a children's church uh program or you have
children's ministries no because then they realize oh i'd have to actually get these brats to
behave and you could tell just from the 10 15 20 minutes you've been there like you you're
gonna have a struggle you know and i always try to say it i'm always like you know we have
lots of kids in the service and you know if they get a lot of hand me a place you get to
try to like put them at ease like it's okay you know come to church learn how to raise your kids
that's why you need to be there i mean if your kids are you know tearing the place apart
you know you should probably be in church you should get them out you know get them to sit
still but you know they have they they don't want to grow up you know the parents don't want
to grow up they don't want to take the risk do what needs to be necessary to have kids
that actually can sit up straight and listen and be quiet and well behaved in a church service
because believe it or not that actually takes some effort you know parents are going to have
to teach children to behave you know they're going to have to grow up that's one of the
benefits of having a family integrated church it puts pressure on the parents to actually parent
and it just blows my mind that people will will will you know they they'll stay out they'll
say well i don't i'm not i don't want to do that but they'll send their kid off for six
hours to a public school and say well they're expected let somebody else teach them to behave
there but you can't they can't come out to a church for one hour once a week and try to get
their own kids to just just be quiet and sit still and listen up and you know it's probably
they they'd have a probably easier time doing it than they think but here's here's the thing
about it you know when you have a family integrated church and it forces the parents to grow up
along with the kids and it forces them to teach the children to behave you know how do you do
that well you don't do that at church you know this is just a little tip now i'm looking around
the room tonight i don't think it's a problem here but you know if it ever is maybe we need
to advice give advice to somebody else you know and this is advice that i i saw it at one
point you know i said hey how do you get your kids to sit up and and behave and and and to
not you know run them up during a church service and the guy told me hey it begins at home
so i don't teach him here i train him at home and that would that was like oh yeah
you know the light came on it's so revolutionary and then he turned around and said and by the way
your daughter doesn't have a problem you should probably lighten up which she didn't but why it
was because we were already working on her at home and then we just started you know hey
if you're having a hard time getting the kids to sit up and be quiet and sit still and listen
have you know you know it's time to institute a little bible time at home
where the same expectations are put on them say hey we're going to read the bible at home
you know maybe dad could even preach a little you know diddy or whatever you know teach something
out of the word of god and the kids say kids you're expected right now for the next 15 to 20
minutes to just sit there and listen to what i say and not interrupt and your mom could do
that doesn't have to be necessarily just dad but you have to start doing these things at home
you know and and and now i know every kid acts up from time to time you know and everybody
and every once in a while has to take their children aside from a service and remind them
of where they are and who you are and so on and so forth but by and large when it's a consistent
problem when when it's just it's the same parent and the same child you know every single
service i can guarantee you one thing it's not going on at home that's just a sign that it's not
taking place at home because that's where you begin to train kids and that's why a lot of
people they don't want the family integrated church because it puts pressure on them at home
to start ruling their house well they say well we just you know they have all these
spiritual reasons they got their six page essay against you know family integrated church but
the fact is is because it puts a lot of pressure on parents to actually be parents
and it forces them to grow up it forces everyone to grow up it forces parents to have
to teach their children and it teaches adults who aren't even the parents to have to learn
some patience right and that's something that the adults around the kids have to learn too
of what it's like to just be patient and let you know little johnny billy susie or whatever
just throw their temper tantrum and let mom and dad deal with it and and uh and and learn some
patience and you know experienced parents you know they teach by example that's where a lot of
this is learned you know i know we learned a lot that way with our kids and and by what by
observing other parents seeing how they were doing things and and asking them questions
and instituting things and figuring these things out for ourselves as well
now let's turn over to uh luke chapter 18 we haven't gone anywhere in a while let's go over to
luke you know it forces everybody in the uh in the service to to grow up when the kids are
there not just the kids the parents do the parents have to be parents even people
who don't have kids or their kids are grown or they don't have anybody in in the luke chapter
18 if they don't have anybody any children in the service themselves they have to learn to
be patient you know and that can that can be difficult to do sometimes uh to to focus on
the preacher when he's preaching but you know also it also forces to grow up the preacher and
this is really what it's about with a lot of these guys these preachers that will just insist
that every child be removed from the service every that they cannot have they cannot hear a
single peep out of anybody besides an amen here and there they they don't want the kids around
it's because you know these these preachers today they have to preach in a vacuum
you know if the door closes too hard oh let me get they're just they're just flustered
you know they have this they just want this sterile perfect conditions for their to be
able to preach look if that's what it takes for you to preach you're not a good preacher
you know and i'm not trying to pick myself up or posting it's only come from my experience but
half the time my wife will come to me not half the time good night i'm totally ripping on her but
you know every now and then every once every once in a blue moon okay my child will actually
act up right one of the young ones and they'll they'll start screaming they're teething whatever
kids throw fits all the time for all sorts of stupid reasons you know some baby will be
crying somewhere my wife will say oh i was i'm so sorry you know i was in i was over at uh
i was visiting another church i shouldn't out anybody right so i was visiting another church
recently i'm sure you can connect the dots and there was some some family there and their kid
was just throwing you know just a just a holy fit i mean they were just and i could i remember
that i didn't even register with me and i remember them coming to me after the service
and saying hey sorry about that i was like oh yeah now that you say that i do recall that
happening you can say oh you know are you trying to just brag it's like no because i've
done it so many times like having kids it's like i i'd be worried if there wasn't a kid
making noise in that other room right now you know that would probably be more of a distraction
to me than anything and i'll say you know what i didn't even hear him honey i didn't even
hear you know little heather ann over there screaming her head off it didn't i didn't it
was just like background noise it was like the fan turning on for the air conditioning or
something that's how you have to get as a preacher but that's not what preachers want
and preachers need to learn to grow up in these churches and and and learn how to just
preach a message with a little kid making some noise you can't have a train of thought
because that oh i totally lost my place what was i even talking about
give me a break like how pathetic is that you know you should be able to uh preach even in
this distraction and here's a tip for anyone that's you know desiring to preach is write your
sermons with some distraction that's one thing i learned i i was like you know what i'm gonna
sit down at the kitchen table in the middle of the day when the kids are just running back
and forth and playing all kinds of games and i'm gonna try to write this sermon while i'm distracted
so when i preach it if it gets someone's being a distraction it's like hey this reminds me when
i wrote this sermon you know so we should train ourselves in these as an area as preachers
and as people in the pew you know if if every time someone has to get up and go take the
kid in the other room you just was what is he talking about you know you need to work on
your focus you need to work on your attention span and grow up having kids in the service
forces everybody to grow up from the pew uh from the pew to the pulpit you know every age group
so and you know and you know i'm gonna go off on a little bit because it's it's frustrating
this is really kind of this is the uh this is the muse here for this the sermon is that
just recently i you know i i met a guy who had come to visit a church that i was you know i was
visiting it was in houston okay so i was in houston right and uh this guy this visitor had
come out and he said it was his first time there you know on a sunday and he had his wife and his
and i think he had two kids they're just little kids and he said he had been listening to pastor
anderson for a long time and he lived several i mean he lived like i think like over an hour
away and he made the trek and he's so happy to be there and i said well what finally brought
you out he said well the church the baptist church i was going to they were just fighting
us on the nursery saying my kid had to go in the nursery and admittedly his kid you know was
one of the some kids have more spunk than others folks i mean it's just that's just you know they
do some of them are just sweet serene little angels and some of them are not and we'll just
look at that right and he had one that wasn't you know it was just but it was still it
wasn't a big deal it wasn't like he was you know tearing the you know hymnals apart or
something like that but it was just being a typical noisy little kid during a service
and apparently at this church where this this guy was going the pastor it just just couldn't
handle it he was just so taken aback by this that he from the pulpit said you gotta take that
kid out of here he said yeah you need to go to the nursery now from the pulpit in the middle of
a sermon now i'm not against a preacher stopping the sermon to have to deal with something
but that's not worth dealing you know i mean if a kid now i will say this if a kid is just
totally being disruptive and you know and the parent is refusing to take the child out of you know
out of the service yeah there's a time and place but i i have a hard time believing that this was
that kid you know and we provide these mother baby rooms for a reason so that if they do get
a little loud you can go in there you know and sometimes that does need to take place but
i i seriously doubt that was the case that you know because they've been fighting this guy
you know he'd walk in the door the nursery's over here no that's okay just week in and week
out hey there's the nursery you need to go in the nursery to where this pastor just he just
couldn't take it anymore get him out of here you know and call the guy out from the pulpit
you know by name so i could see that was the straw that broke the camel's back for that guy
and i was like well you know i would never quit a church over that but if you have an alternative
that's probably a good reason to take them you know take the opportunity to get another
good church that's not going to do that
how about this how about you know how about here's another reason why to have a family
integrated church you ever could think about the fact that maybe children's ministries might
actually scare off responsible parents there might be some parents that actually say hey
you know what we are living in perilous times yeah and they might say they're like this guy
i'm talking about they don't want their kid taken away from them to put and be put with
some stranger because they actually want to do their their duty and protect their child
and so now we have well we're going to have this children's ministry we got to have
you know all all we got to minister all these little kids and separate them from the parents
and some parent who actually cares and loves and wants their child protected and doesn't trust
people total strangers to just leave them in a room with another stranger for hour
he's going to say well you know what i'm just not going to go to church then you know if
you're going to insist that i have to go and drop off my kid in some other room behind some
wall where i don't even know what's going on you know then maybe i'm just not going to come
to church now here's what i would do you know i thought about this what if i and praise
the lord i'm not in this position and and in all likelihood lord willing never will be again
but what if i was in that position i'll tell you what i'd do i'd fight them i'd fight them
over the issue i'd fight them to the point where they had to to publicly kick me out of
that church over that issue and then i could stand up and say i'll leave but you're not even
biblical for kicking me out i'd say make me make me leave over this you know i would i would
i'd say make me leave them you know over this and i'd say show me in the bible where i can't have my
kid in the service you can't find it show me the bible where you where you have the authority
to kick me out of local church because i won't put my kid in nursery they can't do it i and
that's what i would do that's my advice to people in that boat or if you know if there's
a church an hour or so down the road or whatever maybe it's gonna cost you more gas
money but you know what you're not gonna have to wake up in the morning go here we go again
every sunday let's go fight the pastor let's go fight all you know little miss so-and-so
that's going to be at the door and insist that she you know take our baby out of arms or
whatever it is i mean it's that that's just a fight i'd rather not have if possible
so what's the point of certain why do i why am i you know i feel like everybody here has got
a grasp of this family integrated concept i mean from the looks of things you know i don't see
any kids wondering why they're in here everybody seems to know why what we're about here right
why preach this why get up well again just to remind us of what we have here you know to
remind us that you know we should not take this church's policy for granted that this
is something that is a huge blessing to be in a church it's because it's rare and it's
especially rare and if we would let's turn over first timothy chapter three before we close here
it's especially rare in independent fundamental baptist churches i mean independent fundamental
baptist churches they thrive on children's ministries i mean i've seen them where they
i've been part of churches where they out the children that come in on the bus routes
far outnumber the attendance of of the regular people the drive-ins i mean just just blows them
out of the water like we had 90 people in church this morning you know then the bus
route shuts down for the evening service and we had 12 people here tonight you know and i've seen
just i mean there's ministries that are just all about the sunday school you know and you know
i was thinking about this just the it's like they even but even the people that promote this
and are just you know involved in it they even know that it's not the best model because i've
been in i've seen uh you know these church these uh these colleges these baptist colleges
you know the bible college where they you know where they just have all these free workers
where they can run these bus routes they're called you know the college students that's what
you get when you go to a bible college not only do you get an education but you also get to go
out and serve in the bus ministry and all that and you know what it's great it's and there's
a lot of great experiences that come out of it but even they know that you that they're it's
not the ideal model because of the fact that what they'll do is they'll bring in i remember
seeing in ministry that they they ran buses in gary indiana and if you don't know anything
about gary indiana it was the cap murder capital of the year for years back in i think
the the late 90s early 2000s i mean it was it was bad it was a really rough area and they
would run these buses and they'd bring all these these ghetto kids in but you know what they
did they took all their church kids and they had a completely different church program for the
church kids than the bus route kids and i had no idea about this i'm like what they're like
well you know you don't want to mix the bad apples with the good ones it's like they like
it's not they're segregating them from the family and then they're segregating them
amongst themselves it's like i don't know maybe maybe maybe this isn't the best model
oh yeah it certainly isn't the most efficient but if we're there in first timothy chapter three
first timothy chapter three let's let's go ahead and read verses 14 and 15
so the point the before i get into this but let me just say again the application here tonight
is one don't take this church policy for granted because there's a lot of people out there
with a lot of stories about how they just every sunday is just a battle to not have to put
their kid in some ministry just to get their kid and they're and there's no problem with
their children they're perfectly well behaved but uh the other application here is you know
be a good example of a non-segregated family i love using that word segregated it just puts it
puts in the right light doesn't it because that's what they're doing they're segregating
be a good example of that let's because we have this policy because we're privileged enough
to be in a church that has a uh you know a family integrated policy let's be a good example
of that and not a bad one let's not give the naysayers a you know a reason to say this is
why it doesn't work and point at our kids and our and our church and say look at this is what
you get oh you want to know why we're not family integrated because of what we see at
faithful word now i don't think this is the case but let's keep that up and there's just a
few points that i want to go over that are going to help us maintain a good reputation as a
family integrated church it says here in first timothy chapter three beginning in verse 14 it
says these things write unto thee shortly uh right eye unto thee hoping to come unto thee
shortly excuse me verse 15 but if i tarry long that thou mayest know that that thou mayest know
how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the house of god which is the church the living
god the pillar and ground of the truth look paul's telling timothy there is a way to behave
in church and this is something that we all have to practice especially those of us that have
children you know and we're pretty good about it here you know again if the if the babies or
the the toddlers are acting up in a service you know take them aside you know there's the
nursery you know this is one that i think we've got down you know uh if it's getting way out
of hand in there and i don't know that it ever has and there might even come to the point
where we need to go outside you know and and calm the child down right and and uh so on and so
forth so take the the noisy babies aside we don't want them to be you know just screaming
in some visitor's ear you know and and and them saying well that family integrated business
that's for the birds you know we want to be a good example here's another one that we probably
could work on a little bit keep kids in the seats during the service you know this is a great
opportunity to train children to hold it right that you know unless it's an emergency you know
you're you're going to be fine you know there is an emergency bathroom right there now that
bathroom let me just say this i meant to mention this in the announcements that bathroom
is reserved for ladies and small children only men and boys are to take the key and go down
outside and use that okay now the parents you you decide when your child's old enough to go use
that bathroom you know i'm not going to say you know if you don't feel comfortable with that
there it is okay but here's the thing during the service you know they they'll they can make it
you know unless it's an absolute emergency they don't because here's the thing what you'll
begin to notice is it's the same kids at about the same time about the time i start talking
is about the time that it's like oh i'm not gonna make it it's like you're gonna make it
this is just your ritual this is your little you know your sunday morning ritual your thursday
night you know this is how you do church you know you go to church and i use the bathroom you know
so keep the kids in the seat during the service what about what about you know not just using the
bathroom but how about this getting a drink of water you know i've had one sip of water and
i'm the one up doing up here doing all the talking if anybody's thirsty in this room it's me
right i mean i don't know if you can see it i sometimes i worry about it but i have like
dry white saliva that i can see coming out and go man i wonder how much is on this pulpit that's
not mine we should probably wipe this thing down every once in a while but how about okay
bathroom breaks you know unless it's an emergency they can wait folks water breaks you know
because believe it or not it is a distraction you know it's not to me i'm fine with it like
it doesn't it really doesn't i mean sometimes i i go oh it's kind of annoying but it doesn't
bother me it's not going to be like oh where was i oh you know so and so i just don't know what
to say now i'm totally flabbergasted but you know one one of the reasons one of the advantages
of having turned the chairs this way is that i don't see all the other heads turning when
someone else gets up to go use the bathroom and that was going on when we had the chair that
way and everyone could see that door and the kids were over there trying to scramble for
the little wood peg to go to the bathroom there's like four adults going you know it's like
they're like start placing bets he's gonna get naughty and it's like whoa what's going on here
you know or they get up to get water and it's and they're struggling it was a distraction
for some people you know now maybe that says more about me than them like you're finding that
more uh that grabs your attention more than what i'm saying maybe i need to work on that too
but hey it helps having the chairs face this way but you know what helps more
it's keeping the kids in the seat and not allowing that to be a potential distraction
here's another one and i think we're doing a good job on this but let's keep it up and and if not you
know we need to work on it keeping an eye on the kids in the parking lot i'm i love seeing
the football games out there i love seeing the kids the hula hoops running around all that i
think it's great it'd be really great if we could find out who owned that sandlot over there
and we could you know come in here and brother hunter could uh you know level that out for us
and put down some astroturf and we get the uprights you know the gridiron on it you know
that way you football fans could get your your sunday fix in right
but uh i i'm all for it you know let's make sure we're not knocking out any windows with the
football i think we've been pretty good there right i said i haven't heard anything but uh
let's keep an eye on them when they're out there you know this isn't the worst part of town
but it isn't the best either and i've seen some people walking around out here that
i don't want around my kids yeah they just look a little on the rough side so if they're out there
you know parents don't just assume that they're doing what they're supposed to be doing you
know kids it's great that you're right out here there's no reason for you to be watering
or off around some corner over here we can't see you no reason there's nothing going on over
there you can't do right out here okay so let's keep the kids right there we can see them
put the shades back up after service you know and we could see what's going on out there
here's another tip that's going to help us you know be a good representation of a family
integrated church and i already talked about this so i won't spend long on it
discipline at home and i don't think anybody in this room has a problem with this you know
is if but if you're not doing it that's where it has to start you know if you're if
you're struggling in this area you know then you need to check on what's going on at home
because that's where it begins and as i mentioned earlier practice at home you know if you're
struggling it's time to start practicing at home you know so having a family integrated church you
know it's it's it's a privilege and not only that but it's also essential you know it really
is important for us to have a family integrated church for for two reasons one for spiritual
growth it helps everybody in the room grow you know from from the parents are learning to grow
as parents the children especially i mean they're they're absorbing everything you know they're
getting the things out of the word of god they're growing so it's it's essential for that it's also
essential for another thing safety yeah for safety you know we need to have this this is
something especially in this day and age and you know so it's essential for growth and safety
but here's what it isn't it is not an excuse for poor behavior it's not it's not an excuse
for poor behavior but rather it's a call for exemplary behavior you know having a family
integrated church that is a reason to have exemplary behavior not to say well you know
they don't have a children's ministry so i'll do the best i can you know no it's a call for you
to step up your game and let's be a model of the family integrated uh model you know let's
be it's let's be let's be the poster children for a family integrated church you know and i
don't want to get carried away with it because i was kind of looking into it about reading and
read a couple articles on it and and and some people you know there's too much of a good thing
some people they they get on this family it's like i had no idea but it's like a whole nother
para ministry it's like a sub denomination amongst protestants this family integrated church
that's an actual like you look up that acronym you know the family integrated church
society or something like that like it's a group that's out there you know and they're just
all about being family integrated this and they'll leave churches they'll cause division
in churches i'm not saying let's go there you know let's not start you know badgering other
people that don't have this policy but let's you know let's lead by example you know let's
be grateful for what we have in a family integrated church but let's also show people
why you should be family integrated i think i've given us some good reasons tonight let's go ahead
and pray