So, we're continuing on this morning with our series called Rare Breeds, so we're preaching
Rare Breeds Part 2 this morning, and I'm going to focus on the virtuous woman, and I'm just
taking a few weeks to kind of look at different people that are, you know, exemplified in
scripture that we might look around us and say, boy, we don't see a lot of people like that. We
don't see a lot of people who fit this mold. They would be what we call rare breeds, and of course,
last week we talked about the fact that one rare breed is people that are saved. You know, the
saved are a rare breed. If you're saved this morning, you're among a very small group of
people, and of course, I'm not going to preach all that, but we did talk about the fact that though
Jesus died for everyone, not everybody gets saved. In fact, very few do, and then even amongst them,
amongst the people that are saved, there are even rare breeds, and there's the people that
are baptized, people that go to church, the people that read their Bible, the people that
pray and go soloing. It gets more and more exclusive the more disciplines that we take
on in the Christian life. That was what we looked at last week, but this week I want to look at the
rare breed of the virtuous woman, and I think it's important for us to go through this series and
emphasize these different roles and to lift up these people in scripture, the saved, the virtuous
woman, and so forth as role models because of the fact, you know, we like to say and think to
ourselves that we don't care what other people think, you know, we don't base our self-worth
upon, you know, the opinions of others, and I understand that that's true to an extent,
but the fact is that we do find our self-worth in what others think of us. We do find, and we do
care, if we're being honest, what other people will think of us, and, you know, at least we should,
at least we should care about how we are perceived, and I think this is especially important for ladies
and especially important for our young ladies in the church because of the fact that this is a
role of the virtuous woman that is not going to be lifted up by the world. You know, take the time to
preach through this, and, you know, you're a man, you're a young man here this morning saying,
what's this got to do with me? Well, don't worry, I'll make application, okay? We'll work it in there
somehow, you know, but one day you might be a father, or you already are a father, you already
are a husband, you might be a husband. You know, these are all things that we can pay attention to
and understand the importance of lifting up certain individuals such as the virtuous woman
to be a role model that our young ladies in this church can look to because, again, the world's not
going to do it. If we don't lift up the wife and mother, if we don't lift up and exalt the virtuous
woman inside the church, who's going to do it? Certainly not the world. The Bible says,
here in Proverbs 31, go to verse 28, the Bible says, her children rise up and call her blessed,
her husband also, and he praises her. You know, that should be something that takes place in our
home. If we have a virtuous wife, if we have a virtuous mother, we should be blessing her,
we should be praising her, we should be honoring her, not only in our homes but also here in the
local church because of the fact that a virtuous woman, like the Bible says, like we read already,
is hard to find. That's what makes her rare, that's what makes her precious, that's what makes
her a rare breed. It says there in verse 10, who can find a virtuous woman for her price is far
above rubies. It means you can't weigh out and you can't put a price on the value of a virtuous wife
and mother. It's beyond rubies. And if you would, go to Proverbs chapter 7. In the Bible, often when
we look at these characters, we'll contrast them with other characters. There'll be a dichotomy
there. And if you look at Proverbs chapter 7 verse 1, it says, my son, keep my words and lay up my
commandments with thee. Go to verse 5, that they may keep thee from the strange woman. So we're
going to be talking about the virtuous woman this morning, but you know, the Bible also talks about
the strange woman. From the stranger which flattereth with her words, look at verse 11,
she is loud and stubborn, her feet abide not in her house. So you can already, if you understand
anything about the virtuous woman, you can already see that dichotomy because as we're going to look
at a woman, the virtuous woman is all about the house. The strange woman is not her feet abide
not in her house. Now is she without, now is she in the streets and lieth wait at every corner.
I mean, I think he's speaking here about the fact that, you know, the strange woman, the woman who
is not a virtuous woman, can be found on every corner. There are a dime, a dozen. But a virtuous
woman, who can find? Her price is far above Ruby's. And again, the role of the virtuous woman is not
going to be promoted by the world. For several different reasons, if you would go to Titus
chapter 2, Titus chapter 2. I'm sure if we went into any university or community college this
morning, there isn't going to be a course on how to be a virtuous woman according to scripture.
But there's going to be plenty of degrees and things of that nature that women can go there
and endeavor and can achieve success in the world in a corporate setting or getting some job or
earning some salary. And the world would applaud that and praise that and say that's exactly what
women need today. That's what we should look up. That's who we should exalt is the person who's
going to pursue a worldly career. The Bible says the complete opposite. That it's actually the
woman that is a keeper at home that does the things only a wife and mother can do. That is the
virtuous woman. That's the woman who's priced far above Ruby's. That is the rare breed that we're
looking at this morning. You're in Titus chapter 2. Let me just read to you from 1 Timothy chapter 5.
It says, I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house.
And just those three things right there will you trigger a lot of people today just by bringing
that up. And that is God's will. And I'm not going to apologize for that. I'm not going to back down
from that. I'm going to exalt that. I'm going to give it its proper honor and respect because that
is God's will for young women. It's not to get a degree. It's not to pursue some worldly career.
It's not to go out and just party. It's to fulfill this role right here. I will therefore
that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house. Now notice how it's a progression
there, right? You get married, then you bear the children. Not before. You get married, and then
you bear the children, then you guide the house. Because now that you've born the children, now
you've got work to do. You can't just pass them off onto somebody else and say, oh I got married
and I had them and now it's your job to take care of them. No, it's the wife, the mother's job to
take care of them. She is to bear the children and guide the house.
And give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully for some are already turned aside
after saying here in Titus chapter 2. It's reiterated again verse 1 it says, but speak
without the things which become sound doctrine. Of course this is Paul telling Titus, hey you need to
these are the things I want you to preach Titus. These are the things as a young preacher that you
need to get up and remind the people in your church about. The things which become sound
doctrine. And what are those things? Verse 2, that the aged men be sober, grave, temperate,
sound in faith and charity and patience. The aged women likewise that they be in behavior
has become a holiness, not false accusers, not given a much wine. Teachers of good things. And
what are those good things that they're supposed to teach? What is it that the Bible is calling
a good thing for these older ladies to teach the younger? What is it? Verse 4, that they may teach
the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet,
chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
So it's not real hard to see why the world today is, they're not thrilled about this list of
things. It's not they're teaching the young ladies today or the girls today in our school
systems, this is what you need to do. It's the complete opposite. They say, oh, be a lawyer,
be a doctor, be a marine biologist, right? The dream come true for every girl. You know,
at some point they all, they all either want to be, you know, esquitarians or they want to be
marine biologists. They all go through that phase. Then it's photographer or something like that,
right? The Bible doesn't lift up any of those things. And look, this isn't, this isn't
something that we should take as just some drudgery, just something that the Bible's like,
oh yeah. And just tell them to go take care of all that dirty work. Now it is hard, dirty work,
but it's something that God says is to be honored, is something that is to be cherished. And if you
find a woman who's able and willing to fulfill this role, you have found something that the
Bible calls precious, something that's far above rubies. But this godly role, you know, it's not
being sought after today because it's considered to be demeaning to women. Oh, you want them to
just stay at home and take care of the kids. That's so demeaning. And look, obviously women
can achieve a lot of other things in life. I'm willing to go out and have great success in the
world. It's all around us. This shouldn't be looked at as some kind of a demeaning role.
And people who would say, oh, that's a demeaning role. What they're doing is they're undervaluing
the, the results of fulfilling such a role, raising godly children,
of keeping a home. Because, you know, the world's not going to lift this up today.
They're not going to promote what the Bible says should be promoted because of the fact that
being a virtuous woman is hard work. It's hard work. It's very difficult. Maybe they'll say,
oh, it's not that it's demeaning to us, just that we don't want to do that. That's hard work.
You know, no one's going to parade the wife and mother out in front of the world. You know,
they're not going to be interviewed somewhere, write some memoir, you know, late in their later
years about how they raised children. No one's going to care about that. The world's not going
to say, oh, that's so great. Tell us all about it. It's a thankless job often by the world.
It's one that goes unrecognized because that doesn't change the fact that God lifts it up.
God puts a premium on it. And let's not forget that it's hard work. I mean, just bearing the
children, just going through that physical process of having to, you know, be pregnant for nine
months, go through childbirth, recover. And then, you know, if you've got more than one child,
that's just more to it. There's still kids that still need to be helped and fed and
so on and so forth. And it gets more and more difficult over the years.
You know, I got a taste of that recently, you know, when my wife gave birth to Julie,
this, you know, on my birthday, actually, December 10th, right. And I had to stay,
I didn't have to, I wanted to, it was the wise thing to do, it was the right thing if you stay
home and help, you know. And then I was the one doing the dishes and making the meals. Well,
we had people bringing meals, okay. But I had to reheat them, all right. And I might have made an
omelet here or there, you know, but I'm doing the laundry and I have to get to sleep, put the kids
out in the yard, let them play for, they loved it because they, I just turned them loose on the
yard just to stay out there as long as you want, you know. And they kind of got to break from
school and stuff like that while mom recovered and so on and so forth. But, you know, it's,
it was just as hard to work as anything I've ever done. You say, well, is it physically demanding?
Well, sure it is. Yeah, there's a lot of physical things that go into it. If you would go back to
problems 31, just keep something there this morning, I should tell you that. Well, what about
just the mental stress? What about just the difficulty of teaching children, of schooling
them? I mean, children don't, they don't just, you know, grow up and automatically know everything.
They have to be taught literally everything. I mean, you got to teach them how to use the bathroom,
how to, you know, hold laundry, how to clean, how to do everything that, you know, you want them to
be able to do to grow up and be a fully functioning adult. That all has to be instilled in them.
That falls, you know, according to scripture, the majority of that falls upon the mother.
You know, man, we have a role to play too. It's not that we're just, you know, just passing that
duty off on mom so we can just, you know, take it easy. You know, we've got to go out and provide
for all that. We've got to go out during a living and go out in the world and get an income and
provide for all those things. So it falls largely on the mother to be able to be responsible for
all these things. This teaching, it's a lot of work. I mean, look at Proverbs 31 and it just
goes on and on about the work of this virtuous woman and says she seeketh wool and flax and
work willingly with her hands. Say, oh, I had such a hard time finding clothes for the kids. Yeah,
well, at least you're not making it. At least you don't have to actually make the fabric and then
make the clothes. You have to go out and find all the wool and the flax and so on and so forth. You
just got to find it on sale. We got to go down to the Goodwill and make sure it doesn't have a stain
on it. You got to get the shoes new or something like that. But it's still hard work. She is like
the merchant's ships. She bringeth her food from afar. This is the, what is it called? The
Instacart. She bringeth her food from afar. She's not having to go down to the market anymore. I
mean, I'm sure mothers do that and there's all the stress having to pack up the kids and go down
there to the Walmart or the grocery store, unpack them all, make sure they don't tear the place
apart while you're in there. Keep them disciplined enough to get through the store without, you know,
accidentally shoplifting or something like that. And getting the right, you know, get the right
foods and all of that and so on and so forth. This is hard work. She consider it the feel to buy a
thing. You know, she's a lot of times, it falls upon the wife to kind of make sure the bills are
getting paid, that the things are getting taken care of on time. With the fruit of her hand,
she planted the vineyard, she girdeth her loins with strength and strengtheneth her arms.
You know, and of course today, women are being told to like to basically get as strong as they
can and end up looking like a dude. Broader shoulders, bigger biceps, look like a man.
And we want to say, well, we don't have anything to do with that. But that's not to say that we
want that women are, you know, going to be weak if they don't, if they don't, you know, participate
in some CrossFit or something like that. And that's what's being lived up today. But it says
here that she strength, she girdeth her loins with strength and strengtheneth her arms. It's
going to show you that keeping home is hard work. You know, having to lift the kids up,
having to move things around, you know, that will give strength. The appropriate level of strength,
by the way. It says she perceive it that her merchandise is good, her kennel goeth not out
by night. She layeth her hand to the spindle and her hands to hold this staff. She stretcheth out
her hand to the poor, yea, she reaches out forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the
smoke for her household. All for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself
coverings of tapestry. Her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when
he sitteth among the elders. She maketh fine linen and selleth it. She delivered girdles unto the
merchants. Strength and honor are her clothing. You know, the world today would say, oh, you keep
home? Oh, you're trying to fulfill this virtuous woman role? You're a doormat. That's what you
clothe yourself with, a doormat. You just let some man walk all over you, make you stay at home and
do all this. You're better than that girl. You know, that's what they'll say. That the Bible
says that when a woman fulfills this role, takes on this labor and this hard work of being a
virtuous woman, of being a woman who is concerned with and cares for her home, it says there that
strength and honor are her clothing. And she shall rejoice in time to come.
She shall rejoice in time to come. You know, again, the world's not going to lift her up.
The world's not going to praise her. But, you know, if she fulfills her God-given role,
even if she goes completely unrecognized in this world, one day the Lord will say,
well done, thou good and faithful servant, because God blesses obedience.
It says in verse 26, she openeth her mouth in wisdom. You know, she's a smart lady. You know,
some of the smartest people I know are homeschooling mothers. Why? Because they're
the ones studying all this stuff. All the stuff that we forgot, you know, they're reviewing it
every year. You're like, oh, it's time to do some longhand division. Nevermind algebra and calculus
and everything else that we just got to get through high school and then forgot about,
because we have calculators. You know, all the history, the grammar. I mean, if they're raising
their kids at home and they're teaching them all this, you know, they're very intelligent people.
And they want, you know, in the world again, they want us down to, oh, you're a doormat.
You're just, you know, you're just some big, dumb animal that is just going to keep you barefoot
and pregnant all the time. Well, being barefoot is actually better for your back anyway, right?
And it's not all the time that they're pregnant, but, you know, it's, you know, be fruitful,
multiply. I mean, we love having kids, but that doesn't make them stupid. That doesn't make a
housewife or a homeschooling mother dumb. To the contrary, it makes them intelligent,
makes them interesting people. It makes them smarter than the average, you know,
the average woman that's out there today who doesn't, isn't concerned with any of these things.
She opened up her mouth with wisdom and in her tongue is a law of kindness.
She looketh well to the ways of her household and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Now, just because, now I will say that, you know, just because a wife or a mother decides
that they're going to stay home and guide the house and homeskill their children,
that does not mean that they are inherently hardworking people. You know, it's possible to
say, well, I homeschool and then just do a very poor job at it, which should not be the case.
It's possible to say, oh yeah, I just, I'm a stay at home and mother and just stay at home and just,
you know, scroll through social media. The Bible says here that this woman, the purpose woman,
yeah, she stays a home. She cares for her household. She looketh well to the ways of
her household and she eateth not the bread of idleness. And she's busy, sunup to sundown,
busy, busy, busy working. So hopefully so far, just by, you know, the beginning of the sermon,
I've done well enough job to lift up the virtuous woman. Hopefully we're beginning to see her true
worth. But really what I want to kind of get across to the application I want to make this
morning is how to become a virtuous woman, how to become a virtuous woman.
Look at Proverbs chapter 31 verse 30. It says there in verse 30, Proverbs 31, favor is deceitful
and beauty is vain. Now that's completely counter-cultural right there. That goes against
everything that young ladies are being told today. That, you know, if you want to, if you need to be
favored, you have to have people look at you and just based upon your appearance say, oh, you're,
you're better than the rest based on the fact that you're beautiful. But here's the thing about
beauty. Here's the, you know, you didn't do anything to get that. You were just born.
That's just genetics, you know, and beauty fades as evidenced.
Look, beauty is going to go away. It's vain. It's fleeting. It's not going to last. It's not
real value. I mean, so often you'll, you'll, you'll see, you know, you'll see some attractive woman
and then she'll open her mouth and it's like, she instantly becomes unattractive.
You think to yourself, I wouldn't want to be around this person for more than a minute,
any longer than I'd have to. I don't care how good looking they are.
It says, favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord. That's the
emphasis. Now, if you can get both, great. If you can get the virtuous woman and the,
and they're good looking, great. But if you have, if you as a young man are saying, well,
who should I marry? You know, looks are not all it's about. That's not the most important thing
you're looking for. You know, a lot of guys, they'll, they'll just spin their wheels looking
for a wife because that's all they're concerned about. But it says a woman that feareth the Lord,
she shall be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands and let her own works
praise her in the gates. You know, what's great about being a virtuous wife and mother is that
you don't have to sing your own praise. You don't have to toot your own horn. You know,
people can look at a, at a, at a family, at a, at a children and say, well, they have a good mother.
They have a good father. Her own works will praise her in the gates.
If they've done well or the opposite, you know, that's, you can see, you look at some kids and you
go, we're on a home. We've all seen that kid in the grocery store, throwing themselves on the floor,
gimme, gimme, screaming their head off. The whole store can hear them.
What do you want? Oh, stop, stop, stop. You know, look, that, that, that something's going on in
a home. But in the same way, you know, when, when we see well behaved children, we see children who
are smart and polite and kind and godly and love the Lord and so on and so forth. You see all that,
that didn't happen by accident either. That's a lot of hard work that's going on at home.
And, you know, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna toot my, my wife's horn a little bit here this morning.
You know, she gets compliments all the time. And I'm sure lots of people can say this. They go out
in public and it's like, she's telling me how people are just always aghast at our children,
not because of the way they look at them, because of the way they behave. And I'm saying in a good
way. I've never seen kids so well behaved. Well, that's unfortunate because that used to be the
norm. Now the kids that are well behaved, they stick out like a sore thumb. You see the other
way around. You see the kids that were throwing the fit. They were the ones where everybody kind
of turned their head and said, what in the world is going on there? And now it's when the, when
the family comes through and the kids are all nice, staying together, not running a muck, not
throwing a fit. That's what's turning heads out there today. And people like it. They say, oh,
that, that must be so nice, but they don't want to do what it takes to get that. You know, what's the
saying? They like the fruit, but they don't like the root. They like the fruit of a godly wife or
mother. They like how the children are, but they don't like all the crewing and preening that goes
on at home. Where'd I have you guys go here? Proverbs, you're still in 31, right? Yeah.
How to become a virtuous woman. You say, I want that. Well, first of all, like I've already said,
it takes a lot of hard work. I mean, you read through Proverbs 31 and here's the thing about
Proverbs 31. You know, that's, that's an ideal. You know, a lot of ladies will leave that and
just say, oh, well, I don't work with flax and wool and like, we're not asking you to do that.
You know, that doesn't make any sense to do that. It's, it's more thrifty and more sensible to just
buy your own clothing. Right. But it is showing us that there's a lot of hard work. That's the
principle that Proverbs 31 is showing us that if you want to be a virtuous woman, you can't be lazy.
You can't eat the bread of idleness. It's going to take a lot of hard work. It's not just going to
happen by itself. And it will be evident whether or not that's something that you desire or not,
because you're the fruit of your own hands will speak in the gate. So first of all, hard work,
but you know, more than that, it's going to take a fear of the Lord, a fear of the Lord.
Go to first Peter chapter three, first Peter chapter three.
There's a lot of ladies today that would say, you know, I don't, that sounds nice,
but I'm just not interested. I've got other things I would rather pursue in life.
That's just not for me. But if a woman really fears the Lord, that's, this is exactly what she
would want. Not to just so she could please her husband, not so she could just, you know,
have children that behave in public. She would want to do this because this is what God has
commanded ladies to do. This is what God's will is. This is what He wants for them. And if they,
if they want, if you want to be this virtuous woman, you're going to have to be somebody who
fears the Lord. Because look, if you're just going to go into it and say, well, I'm going to
try to be this virtuous woman, and that this isn't your motivation to be obedient to God,
you know, you could burn out, you could wither away. If it's just, well, I just want to please
my husband. I just want to make sure everybody at church thinks I'm
filling a certain role. It's going to get hard. Like it's harder than most people
understand. If you haven't gone through it, it's hard to even, it's hard to even get,
to put it into words how difficult it can be at times. The stress, everything that goes along
with being a wife and mother. So if fearing the Lord and being obedient to Him is not your
motivation, you could very easily burn out. You could very easily say it's too much. Forget it.
And just let things slip, let things slide, let things go.
The Bible says in Ephesians chapter 5, here in 1 Peter 3, wives, submit yourselves unto your
own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the
head of the church. And he is the savior of the body, where therefore as the church is subject
unto Christ, so let the wives be unto their own husbands in everything. Look at 1 Peter chapter 3
verse 1. Likewise you wives be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the
word, they may also without the word be won by the conversation of the wives, while they behold your
chaste conversation coupled with fear. Who's adorning? Let it not be that outward adorning
of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting out of apparel. But let it be the hidden
of the heart, in that which is in that which is not corruptible, even the orbit of a meek and
quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. Like he's saying here, if you want to be,
I'm just telling you this morning, if you want to be this virtuous woman, you have to do it out of
the fear of the Lord. And there's, you're going to have to, you're going to have to obey these
commandments. Being in subjection, obeying your husbands. And we'll get to the husbands, don't
think I'm just picking on the ladies. And he's saying here, look, don't let it, don't let it
be that outward adorning that the world's going to lift up and say this, you know, the vain beauty,
as we talked about earlier, that they're going to say, oh, this is what it's all about. This
is what's going to make you a great woman. You know, the plaiting of the hair, the wearing of
the gold, the costly apparel. You say, but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is
not corruptible, the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which again, meek and quiet,
it's not going to sing her own praises. The world's not going to sing her praises,
which is in the sight of God, which is in the sight of God of great price.
What's your motivation to be a virtuous woman? You say, I want to be one this morning. Well,
what's your motivation? Is it to be a great price in the sight of God? Because if that is
your motivation, all these other things will fall into place. All these other things will
just fall right in the line. Well, I want to be in sight of God at great price. I will be with my
husband. I want to be in sight of God of great price. I'm going to stay at home and bear children
and guide the house. If that's your motivation, all these other things are going to fall into
place. And if it's not your motivation, if being in sight of God of great price is not what your
goal is as a virtuous woman, I don't, you know, you can try your hardest and all these other things,
but you're just not going to get the satisfaction out of it. And in all likelihood, you probably
burn out. The world is not going to appreciate the virtuous woman today, but God will. They say,
well, I obey my husband and he doesn't seem to appreciate me. I, you know, I teach and I work
over, I slave with my kids. I put all this effort in them and they're not rising up early and
calling me blessed. They're not praising me, but is that who you're doing it for?
Or are you doing it for God? Because if you're doing it for God, God's going to see that no
matter how, whether or not your husband appreciates it, your children appreciate it,
God will appreciate it because it's in the sight of God that they are at great price.
Let me just kind of wrap it up here. I kind of, like I said, I did want to make some more
broader applications this morning and that's, you know, we've talked about what is a virtuous woman,
what goes into being a virtuous woman, the importance of being a virtuous woman,
how it's something that's precious inside of God. It's something that's hard to find.
We talked about a little bit about what it's going to take. You're going to have to fear the Lord.
You're going to have to be willing to work, do a lot of work and look, we could do a whole series
of just this one person, but I want to make a broader application and that is how to find
a virtuous woman. Because again, we're talking about a rare breed, right? A rare breed, something
that's hard to find, something that's precious. The Bible says that the virtuous woman is hard
to find. Who could find her? How are you going to find a virtuous woman? Let's say, you know,
you're a young man, you want to get married someday. Well, hopefully you see the value in
finding a virtuous woman and finding a godly woman to raise your wife, or excuse me, raise
your children, to be your wife and raise your children. There's value in that. I mean, it's
beyond rubies. If you're godly, if you love the Lord, that's what you're going to want.
Not just some, you know, some dolled up whatever. You're going to want somebody who has character
and somebody who loves the Lord and wants to fulfill God's role for their life.
They say, well, that's what I want as a young man. Well, first of all, you have to understand the
value of a virtuous woman. And that's kind of what I've tried to do here in the beginning of
this sermon is to get that across. It says again, where you are, go to Proverbs 21. It says in
Proverbs 31, who can find a virtuous woman for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her
husband does safely trust in her. This heart of her husband does safely trust in her. Not every
husband can say that this morning. Did you know that? There's plenty of husbands out there that
say not safely trust in her. I don't know. I'm just one. Any day now, I'm just going to come
home and there's going to be a Dear John letter stuck on the door, bags packed, you know, kids
gone. That happens all the time. But if you find a virtuous woman and you know, you're going to be
able to say that you can trust in her, my soul that safely trust in her. So they shall no need
of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of his life. You know what the Bible is
inferring there without just saying it by saying that the virtuous woman is going to do him good
and not evil. It's saying this that there's plenty of women out there that are going to do you evil
all the days of your life. They're out there. They get married to the wrong woman for the
wrong reasons. And then it's just evil all the days of your life. So if you want to find a
virtuous woman, first of all, you better understand how valuable they really are,
how precious they really are, how much of a rare breed really are. The Bible says in Proverbs 19
verse 13, a foolish son is the calamity of his father and the contentions of a wife are continual
dropping. Well, I'm going to get married one day. Well, just remember, it's a very big decision.
You're saying I'm going to spend the rest of my life with this person. The rest of my life with
this person every day, every morning, every night, this person's going to be there in my life.
You ever have, maybe I'm the only one that's gone through this, but you ever had like a good friend
and guys eventually just get on your nerves, get on each other's nerves? Who's ever had that?
Your best friend, right? You guys do everything together, but there's like a time limit.
After about so many hours, it's like, okay, go home. Go eat your own cereal. Go do whatever
you're going to do at your house. You need a break, right? Look, there's no breaks in marriage.
There's no break. I mean, yeah. You know, maybe you can get away for that,
you know, deer camp two weeks or whatever it is guys do, right? That fishing trip or something
like that. I get that. We kind of, we get that, but you know what? You're going to,
you're going to come back again. She's going to still be there when you get home.
He's still going to be there when you get home. It's the rest of your life.
And if you find, if you marry the wrong one, a contentious wife who does not, has no interest
to be a virtuous woman, who has no interest in fulfilling any of these godly roles,
these God given roles. If you marry that woman, look, her contentions are going to be a continual
dropping. You ever try to lay down at night and just, there's just some noise.
It's just a background. You wouldn't pay any mind otherwise. If you're just going about your
business, you're never going to, you're never going to hear the dog barking a block away
during the day when you're trying to go about your business. But boy, you lay your head down
with a pillow at night, you can hear every dog in the neighborhood. And it just, I don't know about
you, but it just keeps me up. I don't know how many nights I've laid there in my bed trying to
fall asleep and just grow, grow, grow, grow, grow, grow, and just wanting to get up. And like, I was
literally thinking, I bet I could find that dog. But if I went out there and I listened, I could
kind of like find where the dog is and to walk up to their door and just knock on it and say,
hey, you trying to sleep? Yeah, me too. Shut your dog up.
Right? It's that annoying sound. I just, you know, it's just always there. In the Bible
saying, you know, it's a continual, a continual dropping, right? Like a drip.
You try to lay down at night and the toilets run out of the other room.
You know, I don't know. Maybe you're in, maybe that does it for you. I don't know. Maybe that's
going to put you out. Some people get into those ambient noises, but that would drive me nuts or
just something out in the sink. Someone left a full bowl of water and just drip, drip. Look,
the Bible's using that and saying, if you marry a contentious woman or if you are a contentious
woman, that's what you're like. And there's just no getting away from it. I can't go bug the neighbor.
The nice thing about it, the sink is, is I can tighten it up and make the drop, you know, make
it stop. Not so with the contentious wife. She's got her own will. She's got her own mind. She's
going to do her thing. So if you want to, how to find a virtuous woman, you better understand how,
how valuable they really are. How precious they really are. How rare a breed they really are.
And look, we can all, you know, we ladies can become a virtuous woman if they weren't before.
It's not like if you, if you never were one, you can never be one. This is something that
ladies can all, all ladies can strive to be. The Bible says for you on Proverbs 21 verse nine,
it is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
I'm saying, I don't care how big and nice the house is. If, if the woman that's in it
is brawling, you'd be better off sleeping up on the roof in a corner.
And here's the thing. And what we, what's, what's, what's trying to say here is that
the wife, you know, she's the one that sets the tone for the home.
I mean, she's the one that's there. She's the one that puts her touch on it.
You know, I, it doesn't matter how nice it is. If the woman that's in there
is a brawler, she's contentious. You're going to say, what good is all this room? How,
what's, what good is this house? You say, I want to find a virtuous woman. You better understand
the value of a virtuous woman. And not only that, you say, well, I understand the value of one.
Where's mine at? Now give me one. I understand what they're supposed to be. I understand how
valuable they are. I understand they're precious. That sounds good to me. I'll, you know, I'll take
two. That's another sermon. You only get one. All right. You say, well, where's mine? You know,
young man in here might be saying it. Here's the question though. If something is so rare
and so precious, what makes you deserve it? What makes you so deserving about somebody else?
You have to not only value it, you have to be deserving of it. You have to deserve such a wife.
Go over to Proverbs 18. That's what the Bible says. Proverbs 18. I'll read in verse 22 of
Proverbs 18. It says, who so findeth the wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the
Lord. Now there's a couple of ways to kind of look at that verse, you know, and I, and I used to be
that I would read that and say, okay, if you find a wife, you know, God's going to, you obtain favor
of the Lord. You know, God says, oh, okay. You know, you did the right thing. You got married.
You have my favor now, but God's going to honor that more. And the guy is just, oh,
I'm never going to get married. I'm not, you know, I'm just going to be a single dude or whatever.
God's not going to honor that. And I think that's the right interpretation. I think you could
definitely go that way. Another, you know, another way I've kind of thought about this verse is it
says, who soever findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtain the favor of the Lord. You know,
I know it's like, that's the order it's kind of laid out there, but now I kind of think, well,
maybe the other interpretation would be, you have to obtain favor of the Lord and then you find the
wife. Because it says, who soever findeth the wife findeth a good thing. Is that true of every,
every wife that's found by a man? No, it's not. Some people find a wife, they get married,
and then it turns out to be a very bad thing because she has no interest in living for the
Lord. She has no interest in this or that, the things she does. And it becomes a contention,
it becomes a continual dropping. I tend to think more so that when a young man is loving the Lord
and is favored by the Lord and doing those things which are pleasing the Lord, then he finds a good
wife. You see what I'm saying? It's kind of laid out that way, but to me, it seems it's a little,
it's out of order a little bit. Look at Proverbs 19, Proverbs 19, verse 14. It says,
houses and riches are the inheritance of fathers, and a prudent wife is from the Lord. Where am I
going to get this prudent wife? Where am I going to get this virtuous woman from God
and nowhere else? You're not going to find her on a bar stool, you're not going to find her in
the club, you're not going to find her, you know, down on the beach somewhere playing volleyball,
she's not there. She's with God. And it's interesting there, it ties in with fathers.
Houses and riches are the inheritance of fathers. And a prudent wife is from the Lord.
But how, you know, I know it's from the Lord, but here's the thing about a wife, she's somebody's
daughter. She was raised that, you know, she was raised to be what she is. You know, that doesn't
just happen by itself. A prudent or a virtuous wife is made, she's not just born, she's made
into what she is. And that's done through the Lord, we understand that. So we understand that,
you know, this is a two-way street when it comes to finding a spouse.
And I've seen it so many times with young guys that just, you know, they just think, oh,
every woman, every woman is just, all the ladies in the world are just, you know, godless heathens
that just don't want anything to do with God. They'll never want to fulfill this role. And,
you know, that's it. And I'll admit, there's an element of truth to that.
There's a grain of truth to that. You know, in our church, there seems to be an abundance
of single guys and not a whole lot of single, young, virtuous young ladies. You know, it's
disproportionate. But, you know, that should not cause you to just throw up your hand and say,
well, what's the point? That should try to make you all the more deserving of that virtuous
because, look, you got a lot of competition, right? If that's the case, that just means you
have more competition. You know, I was very fortunate, the Lord pretty much just, you know,
clubbed me over the head with my wife and said, that's hurry, dummy. But, you know, that's not
the case for everybody. And if you're saying, well, you know, there's all these guys, there's
no ladies, there's no virtuous woman like this, they're very few and far between, then make
yourself all the more deserving. You got to up your game, guys. It's a two-way street. You guys
just seem to think that, you know, it's all about her. You know, she's virtuous. She better check
all these boxes. She better make sure she's this and she's that. It's like, well, what about you?
You know, she might not be interested in living in a car. You know, she might not be interested in,
you know, marrying some bum. In fact, I can, you know, any woman worth marrying,
that's exactly how she's going to feel about it. And they say, well, you know, I'm good looking,
I'm this, I'm that. Isn't that enough for her? No. Any virtuous woman that's worth marrying,
she's going to have a checklist of her own. Does he love the Lord? Does he care about the things
of God? Is he faithful to church? How does he handle being quick and how does he take this?
How does he take that? Is he to have a servant's heart? I mean, I was talking to my wife a little
bit about, I'm like, what made you so interested in me anyway? Because I have a hard time seeing it.
And she said, well, you know, it was a whole list of things, but I'll spare you. But one thing she
said that kind of stood out to me was that, she said, I just remember, you know, it was in the
middle of the service, the pastor was preaching and he said, hey, I need somebody to get something
from. I don't even remember this. And she said, you just got up without even thinking what did it.
And he walked out and I guess the pastor didn't know at the time. He kind of, he was like,
that's a faithful man right there. You know, he was, I think he was kind of trying to convince
her how good I was. So I'm in his debt, but you know, that was something she took note of,
you know, that was something that she said, well, you know, he does love the Lord or he does have
a servant's heart. And I'm not saying that to like lift myself up. I'm just saying, look,
if you're interested in finding a virtuous woman, if you say, I want that rare breed of a virtuous
wife, then you better make sure, you know, you've got your own checklist for yourself and not just,
not just for her. And you're checking off the boxes that you need to be checking off,
that you are meeting the standards that she's going to expect from you. Because again, you know,
we're not going in this morning, but there's a whole nother list for men. There's a whole nother
thing, a thing, a sermon we can preach about what men ought to be as husbands and fathers.
You know, single men are not promised a virtuous wife just by virtue of being single.
I'm single. I'm in faithful word. Where's my virtuous wife? Well, good job moving up here.
Good job, you know, going to church, you know, but you know, there's a lot more to it that a
virtuous wife is going to want to see out of a young man. And here's, here's, here's a tip.
Here's what I think, you know, you know, I think this is an accurate statement. You know,
me and the ladies can, can straighten me out on this later, but correct me if I'm wrong,
but aren't, aren't women interested in things like stability and security? And you're, I mean,
think, look at what we're telling them. You need to stay at home and raise my kids and keep my house
and obey me. And they're like, okay, are you going to be able to provide for that house?
Are you going to be able to put that food on the table? Are you going to be able to put clothes
on those kids' backs? They're going to have their own checklist. That's what they're interested in.
Not just, you know, bumming around in an RV with you.
And I love the fact, and I'm wrapping it up here folks, and I'm going a little long,
but I'm wrapping up. Go over to Proverbs chapter 12. And I love how he says, you know,
a virtuous woman, that her price is far beyond rubies. He compares the virtuous woman to like a
precious metal, like she exceeds a precious metal, right? He's using that analogy. Well,
think about this. Not everybody can just go find gold and silver and all these things,
right? You can't just, it's not like you just stumble upon it and go, oh, look,
you know, a nugget. I'm rich. It takes a lot of hard work to find that nugget, doesn't it?
You have to know where to look. You've got to be able to read to lay in the land. Now,
I know today they have all these contraptions, but it used to be, if you wanted to go find
some precious metals in the earth, there was a lot of back picking labor that went into it.
Just finding it and then getting it out. You know, that's, you know, you want to find a virtuous
wife, you better be prepared to work hard and to search diligently. And when you find her,
do whatever it takes to be worthy of her hand.
Proverbs 12 says, well, you know, I don't know. Is it really that, is it worth all that hard work?
Is it worth me having to, you know, be this guy that's worthy of a rare breed of a virtuous wife?
Well, it says in verse four of Proverbs 12, a virtuous woman has a crown to her husband.
She's a crown to her husband. Sometimes I think about that and I think,
you know, it's kind of like people look at a guy and they'll say, you know, from the head down,
I don't know about that guy. I don't know about him, but look at the crown he's wearing.
There must be something to him. There must be something to that guy for someone to be willing
to put that crown on his head. You know, I can't see it. I don't know what it is. In fact, I doubt
it a little bit. I'm a little skeptical, but look, not that, those crowns don't just go on
anybody. You know, crowns are reserved kings and it says that a virtuous woman is a crown to her
husband. And look, they don't just put any old crown on just any old head. What I'm saying is
if you want that crown, you're going to have to be worthy of it. You know, unless you want to go
down to Burger King and get a community, get that cheap paper crown. And you can put that on a lot
of people's heads. I mean, it'll fit any size you want. I mean, it's available. They make them
while we sleep. They're cranking them out. They're everywhere, but they're cheap and they're flimsy.
They don't last. So go to Proverbs 17. Proverbs 17, we'll wrap up here.
I might have already had to go there, but it says in Proverbs 17 verse 22,
whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord. I did have you turn
there before I read that one, but the point I'm making is this, is that a prudent wife isn't found.
She's earned. Look, a prudent wife, a virtuous woman this morning is a rare breed. And it's not
something you're just going to stumble upon. It's something that you're going to have to earn,
that the Lord is going to give you. And if you have an opportunity to have such a wife,
you should thank God for that and make sure that you're what you're supposed to be.
And the ladies this morning, it's big shoes to fill to be a virtuous woman. Don't ever let the
world downplay the importance of it. I know this is probably the preamble to the Mother's Day
sermon. What are you doing? We only praise the ladies on Mother's Day.
Brother Corbin, what are you doing? We don't praise them enough. We don't preach this enough.
I know there's a lot of other things we have to preach, but ladies, and eventually they all kind
of get to the place where whether we say it or not, they know what they're worth. They know
their value. They know that they are highly esteemed in the sight of God, even if it's not
among men. But don't ever let the world downplay that. Don't ever let the world say, oh, it's not
that important of a thing. That rare breed, they're not that precious. In fact, we could
use less of them. We want them all to be like this. Don't let the world convince you that you're
not worth it, and don't let the world convince you that they're not worth finding because they are.