we'll get back to it in more detail at some point I'm sure but basically in
Genesis you know these 30 32 33 what's happening is Jacob is returning unto his
kindred of course we had the confrontation with Laban and then in 31
and then in 32 Jacob is coming on his way and the angels of God it says in
verse 1 if you want to look there with me in 32 verse 1 the angels of God have
met him and when Jacob saw them he said this is God's host and he called the
name of that place may name and Jacob sent messages before him to Esau his
brother and the land of seer under the country of Edom and I think there's some
important details in 32 about this reuniting between Esau and Jacob that we
should take note of as we get into Genesis 33 and that is the fact that
Jacob is very cognizant of the fact that he's coming back into his homeland and
that his brother Esau is going to be there because if you remember they did
not have a very amicable parting when Jacob first went into the land where
Laban dwelt to go back there to take a bride and all that in fact it says that
Esau hated his brother when he left so it's very strong language so Esau you
know had some very negative feelings to say the least about his brother because
he had he had taken his birthright from him we all remember that story so Esau
though it's been these 20 years later or excuse me Jacob rather still you know
be very conscious of the fact that it did not end well with his brother and
he's not entirely sure how he's going to be received when he comes back into the
land there's no it's the first time they're seeing each other since that
whole thing where he stole his birthright you know so that's kind of a
big deal obviously and in fact if you remember that story Esau had even at
least in word planned to kill his brother to do him harm he's gonna slay
him right so very serious thing you know he's very upset and not a minor detail
in the story and I think that's important to keep in mind when you're
thinking about him coming back and meeting with Esau because of the fact
it kind of it you can see how it how it tempers Jacob's behavior towards his
brother okay and Jacob does some things in the lead-up to his reuniting with his
brother there that we can learn from when it comes to how we're gonna deal
with somebody who is hostile or potentially hostile towards us okay
whether justified or not now I'm not going to suggest that Esau is hostile
towards him at this point obviously we just read in the story they have a very
nice reunion when they finally meet each other but well you know I wonder about
in the story is that is that because of the fact of what Jacob did leading up to
this immediate reuniting did he kind of cool him down then and there did Esau go
out to meet him in wrath or did he just go out to meet him with 400 men because
that's how you meet people that you're just really friendly with you just you
take 400 of your trained men and you go meet them right so there's you know the
Bible doesn't explicitly say this and I'm not saying that I know the answer
okay but I do know this that the Bible reads like any other book I mean not
like any other book don't get me wrong but that it's it's you know it's written
in a lot of ways like like literature you would read elsewhere right we've
probably all read stories where you know sometimes the plots are just so there
you from page three you're like I know how this book ends right because the
writer isn't very good about you know the subplot the subtext right so the
Bible is really good about that the Bible doesn't just give things away
sometimes God I think just gives us enough detail for us to kind of have to
mold these things over and think about them for us to you know to kind of come
to these conclusions on our own and again I'm not saying I'm right maybe
Esau was just really excited just wanted these 400 guys to meet his brother okay
maybe he's just like you guys got to meet Jacob he's great I mean the last
time I saw him it wasn't so great you know well tell us about the last time
he saw him he saw oh he stole my birthright and I threatened to kill him
but you know 20 years later I've cooled off and I you get he's such a great guy
you got to come in so hopefully people can understand what I'm kind of coming
from a little bit tonight and even if you know regardless of what Esau's
intent was when he went to meet his brother we still see that Jacob is on
guard about the whole situation that he's kind of apprehensive and he's
taking extra precautions because he doesn't know how Esau is gonna react and
I don't know that those precautions were weren't unfounded you know perhaps it
was a wise thing that Jacob did in all precautions that he took and we'll get
into that but notice again in verse 3 of chapter 32 we're kind of kind of get a
two for tonight Jacob sent messengers before him to his
Esau his brother unto the land of Seir the country of Edom so he's sending
messengers right and he commanded him saying thus shall you speak unto my lord
Esau thy servant Jacob say it thus I have sojourn with Laban I've stayed
there till now so you can already see how he's being very humble he's being
very meek he's calling him Lord he's calling himself his servant right he's
entreating him and he's talking about how he's oxen and married servants I
have sent us to tell my lord that I may find grace in thy sight and the
messengers can't return to Jacob saying we came to thy brother Esau and he also
cometh to meet thee and 400 men with him so that's kind of cause for concern you
know for Jacob he's kind of like well and they don't really tell us what
exactly it was how the meeting went you know maybe Esau just kind of heard him
out and was like all right well tell him we're coming you know he didn't say good
or bad against him he just but he does bring 400 men so I mean to me is what
I'm reading in details I'm kind of like maybe Esau is still raw about this but
maybe not verse 7 then Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed and divided the
people that's with him and the flocks and herds herds and the camels into two
bands and said if Esau come to the one company and shall smite it then the
other company which is left shall escape and Jacob said oh God my father of
Abraham God of Isaac and the Lord which said unto me return unto thy country to
thy kindred and I will dwell with thee so on and so forth so he divides these
companies up right and we learn exactly what those divisions are a little bit
later of course after he sends them on ahead there's this famous story in the
chat end of chapter 32 and maybe I'll just have to make a point of preaching
on this on Sunday night where he wrestles with the Lord where the Lord
comes to him and he wrestles with him and he's given that limp in his leg okay
but the details I want us to take out of the story just those concerning Esau
tonight okay because that's what it then rolls into you kind of have the whole
story of him meeting Esau then there's just like this little segue there or
just this rather you know commercial break whatever you want to call it or he
wrestles the angel okay then it comes back to the main plot of where we're at
it says in verse 33 and Jacob lifted up his eyes and looked and behold Esau came
and with him four hundred men right and he divided the children unto Leah excuse
me and the children children unto Leah and unto Rachel and unto the two
handmaids so that's how he's dividing them up Leah Rachael, Rachel Bilhah, and
Ziphla those are the two handmaids and their respective children okay and he
put the handmaids and their children foremost and Leah and her children after
and Rachel and Joseph hind her most so he's kind of I mean you know how do you
not play favorites in that situation right you just you don't you just spread
them all out the same laterally you know just want to you know so they all come
to Esau at the same time and to see who he takes out right because this is what
Jacob's thinking right this is why he's separating this way he's because he goes
on explains and says you know if the first if he attacks the first band you
know I'm paraphrasing then the other band will escape so obviously the one
you're putting all the way in the back is the one that you cherish the most
which you know stands and also it is the weaker right because it's just Joseph at
this point right it's just Joseph and Rachel you know there's not there's you
know Ruben and Simeon and Levi Judah Issachar, Zebulun you know these older
sons are probably grown men they are grown men in fact and we'll see you know
next week that they're even capable of inflicting great harm on people right
they themselves are people that are used to conflict apparently so maybe that's
part of it too he's saying well let me put these elder in the front these older
bands even though Leah had the elder children that doesn't exactly work out
and the handmaids are in front of her but you know it could still stand a
reason a little bit obviously what's really probably going on though he's just
saying you know Rachel's who I love the most my sons that came from Rachel who I
care about the most these I cannot go without so he's kind of playing favorites
but you know at least he's consistent right Joseph from the get-go right had
loved Rachel more than anyone else that's who he labored for Laban for the
only reason he ended up with these other wives is because of you know the
treachery of Laban so at least he's consistent but imagine being one of
those you know you go up front you know like thanks you know don't expect a
Christmas card from her but anyway so he sends them up there puts you know lines
them out and it says and Esau ran to meet him excuse me he put the handmaids
and their children foremost and lay in her children after and he passed over
before them so credit for that he put himself in harm's way right he gets out
in front of all of them and it's you know it's gonna befall him before it
befalls anybody else that things don't go that well and then obviously he in
verse 3 it says he passed over the ground before them seven excuse me
before them and bowed himself to the ground seven times until he came near to
his brother and Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and
kissed him and wept so not the reaction that Joseph or excuse me I'm thinking of
Joseph because he had a similar reaction when he was reunited with his brethren
that Jacob was expecting not the reaction he was probably anticipating
obviously with all the precautions that he's taking you know in the prayer in
chapter 32 that he's praying to God and he's asking for help he's saying in
verse 11 deliver me I pray thee from the hand of my brother from the hand of
Esau for I fear unless he will come and smite me and the mother with the child
children so this is probably coming as a shock to him okay and he lifted up his
eyes verse 5 he saw the women and the children he said who are those with thee
and he said the children which God hath graciously graciously give thy given
thy children then the handmaids came near they and their children they bowed
themselves and they also with her children came near and bowed themselves
and after that and after came Joseph near and Rachel and they bowed
themselves and he said what meanest thou by all this drove which I met and he
said these are to find great grace in the sight of my Lord and Esau said I
have enough my brother keep that that thou hast unto thyself and Jacob said nay
I pray thee if now I have found grace in thy sight then receive my present at my
hand for therefore have I have I seen thy face as though I had seen the face
of God and thou was pleased with me and kind of what he's I think what he's
saying there with I've seen the face of God he's basically saying you know my
life was in your hands you know you could have just as easily destroyed me
and that that certainly seems to be the case I mean I'd assume that it is the
case because of the way Jacob's behaving all the precautions you take it sounds
like he wasn't any match you know what otherwise why all the to-do right and he
even remember even when Laban caught up with him when he first fled Laban said
it is in my power to do the harm right and except God had spoken to him and
intervened on Jacob's behalf that's what would have happened so Jacob is kind of
defenseless to a certain degree against stronger forces you know militarily so I
think that's kind of what he's saying there he's like you know it's I've seen
the face of God basically you know I've had a near-death experience my life is
in your hand you could have taken it for me just as a case of God so what I want
to kind of focus in on though tonight we got through a lot of the details there
about this reuniting and really just the application is that you know when we
have people that were maybe not right with or people that were at odds with or
there's conflict you know we should seek to smooth those things over right now
obviously I don't know probably none of us isn't is a conflict as intense as
what Jacob is experiencing where he's worried about you know entire families
being wiped out like literally killed and things like that but you know you
and I are gonna face conflict in our lives day to day we're gonna you know in
the workplace and our homes just going about our business even in church and
things like that you know we are going to come into conflict that we're gonna
have friction with other people from the time to time it's inevitable okay and so
we can learn a few things about what Jacob did and basically one of the
things that he did is you know he sent these droves of beasts before him right
he sent gifts essentially unto who he assumed was his enemy you know he was
trying to you know butter him up whatever you want to call it but he was
probably he was trying to show him him you know I'm trying to make amends I'm
trying to do right and the Bible does talk about this the Bible does talk
about you know the way we speak to people that maybe we're upset with and
the way that we treat them you know it matters you know and and we should make
sure that we don't try to stir up other people we don't try to create more
conflict than is necessary you know we should seek to live peaceably with all
men the Bible says you know we should try to be at peace with one another we
should seek to do good unto all men especially and those that are of the
household of faith you know we should seek to be a peaceful people that get
along in the world you know I think sometimes when people attend a church
where the preaching is hard and it's you know that the whole the bike because
the Bible is a hard book the Bible has some very hard sayings in it the Bible
takes a strong stand and we certainly believe all these things and we take a
stand you know when we're when we must but I think sometimes we come to a
church where maybe the preachings all got a little bit of a harder edge people
think like well that's how we need to be out in the world right like maybe they
think that you know the their favorite preacher the preachers that they see
just ripping face they get this idea that that's how they live 24-7 that
they're just going around just everywhere ripping face you know just
getting it's like no that's not it you know there's a time and place to be
like that obviously we have to stamp with the foot pound with the fist lift
up the voice show our people show his people their sins right we have to call
things out we have to preach the Word of God but the Bible also does admonish us
you know in our lives to be people that seek peace to seek peace and pursue it
and the proverb you know Proverbs talks about this quite a bit if you want to go
go to the book of Proverbs you can go over to Proverbs let's have you go to
Proverbs 21 Proverbs 21 the one of the first things I point out is that in
Genesis 32 what we saw is that Jacob sent messengers right he starts with his
words and he says tell him Jacob you know tell my lord Esau that Jacob his
servant is come right so he's it's the things that he's saying that's where he
starts right he's trying to get his message across a I don't want there's no
bad blood on my part you know I I want to live at peace you know I'm here to
I'm coming back with humility right and what the Bible tells us in Proverbs 15
I'll just read to you verse 1 it says a soft answer turneth away wrath a soft
answer turneth away wrath you know sometimes the best way to handle somebody
who's upset with us is just to be patient and kind and listen you know
people because here's the thing when people are angry with one another a lot
of times you know when they when someone decides to confront somebody that
they're upset with the other person can become very defensive and the next thing
you know it just turns into like a flame war right it just gets out of hand you
know one person's angry and then they go confront somebody else and that person
reacts in anger and nothing's really resolved right and oftentimes that's
what happens but the Bible says that a soft answer turneth away wrath you know
when someone comes to you that's upset and angry the maybe the first thing we
should ask ourselves is are they right to be upset and angry you know maybe
there is an offense on my part maybe there is some I did something wrong
maybe I did mess up on the job or whatever maybe you know I did offend
somebody okay that's what we should ask ourselves are is this a justifiable
anger are they right to be upset rather than just instantly think what do you
mean I'm never wrong you know you know it's your fault why you so big you know
that's what people do though right that's how often how those interactions
go but the Bible says that a soft answer turns away wrath and it's amazing how
many times you know when we're upset you know if we say something and then
somebody might reply in a kind or patient way that kind of calms us down
right that kind of brings us down a notch and makes us you know be more open
to have a more civil conversation and actually come to you know a an agreement
you know to kind of some kind of resolution okay it says a soft answer
turneth away wrath but grievous words stir up anger right you know this is
great in any relationship in any you know relationship but how about
particularly in the area of marriage right because here's the thing in
marriage you know if you've been married long enough you got the goods on each
other how can't you you live with this person for years you know what their
like you know their faults you know their shortcomings and they know yours
and you know marriage is a wonderful thing but often there's conflict you
know that just kind of comes with the territory you pack sinners together
anywhere you know they're gonna be at odds with one another you know same is
true for marriage what you're doing what you've got is two sinners and then you
compound the stress of that by having a bunch of little sinners often right so
you know that's a good point to keep in mind is that when when we get into
conflict with our spouses to not use grievous words to stir up anger because
if we've been married long enough we know exactly what to say and we know
exactly how to say it to really just get under the skin right well what what's
the point of that though what good is that going to do it's not going to do
any good right and a brother offended is harder to be one than a strong city
you know it's like the bars of a castle I'm kind of paraphrasing the proverb
right now and you know how much more so our spouses we don't want to push them
away we should seek to have peace we want to turn away wrath in those
instances okay so that's the first thing I point out with how did you know how
did we get the reaction out of Esau that we saw you say well Esau was coming out
you know to you know already with that on his heart what he just wanted to meet
his brother he wanted to be reunited and that's why he had such a strong
emotional reaction right and that's why he's so glad to see him you know that
may have been the case but you know as I'm reading you know as I've and I've
read the story I mean so many times but it's when you really have to preach it
and really break it down and kind of look for these things some of the stuff
jumps out a little bit more I'm like well what's why the fear on Jacob's part
why the prayer why the 400 men with Esau you know maybe he's just keeping
himself safe you know amongst the people that are in the area I don't know but
either way it seems like that soft answer you know worked on Esau hey thy
servant is come to his Lord right very humble very meek he didn't stir up wrath
because remember Jacob has the birthright it's his he didn't say hey
I'm here to claim what's mine get going it's been 20 years you've had time
enough to click that's time for you to clear out Esau those have been grievous
words right to just immediately bring up that whole incident from 20 years ago
where I stole your birthright but he's in the right right he's got it's it's
true that is true in fact we'll see that Esau later does leave of his own
accord showing you that what kind of man Esau really was but you know that's not
the approach Jacob took it was very humble very meek a very soft answer and
I and it very well may have been what turned away the wrath of Esau if it had
been there to begin with I can't say for certain that it was what else did he do
it was the gifts right he what meanest thou this drove right because he's
sending these sheep and cattle ahead of him right kind of softening it up hey
this is for you this is for you did you go to Proverbs 21 look at verse 14 a
gift in secret pacified anger and a reward in the bosom strong wrath a gift
in secret pacified anger and a reward in the bosom strong wrath it's hard to be
mad at somebody when they do something nice for you isn't it it is you know you
do you know you get upset and it's like then that person does something really
nice for you just out of nowhere it's like I can't stay mad at you you know
makes it hard you know and this this is a great principle to apply in your own
life you know if you if you're at odds with somebody at work or something do
something nice for him you know you got some enemy at work buy him lunch buy him
a coke you know say good morning and you know hey I got doughnuts you want to
don't I mean that'll that'll smooth it you know hey the way to a man's heart is
through his stomach it's true right so you know I believe that might be another
thing go to Proverbs go to Proverbs 13 okay because this is this next one just
kind of makes the point I made earlier it says by long forbearing this is
Proverbs 25 you're going to 13 Proverbs 25 says you're going to verse 13 chapter
13 by long forbearing a prince is persuaded and a soft tongue breaketh the
bone a soft tongue break at the bone just again talking about how you know
how we respond to things how we respond to anger to wrath to people who are
indignant you know we can actually change their attitude we can actually
change them if we have the right response if we have the soft tongue the
soft answer the gentleness the meekness that's supposed to be there as
Christians you know that might actually change people's countenance towards us
it might change their intentions towards us and in fact it might you know bridge
the gap right it might bring peace where before there was division but
here's the thing that sounds easy doesn't it just give a gift just say
something nice a soft answer a gift that's it sounds easy but it's hard
because of the fact that we all have what's called pride right we all want to
be right we all want the other person to admit that they're wrong right look at
chapter 13 verse 10 only by pride cometh contention only by pride cometh
contention whenever there's contention there's pride when there's two people
that are odds with another where they can't come to a resolution they can't
have peace there's pride involved maybe on both sides you know often you know
it's even it's not even a matter of who's right or who's wrong when there's
contention a lot of times it's just you're both filled with pride you both
have pride involved right because even if a person's right you know the Bible
says the glory for a man to pass over a transgression right even when we're
right we don't have to we don't have to be vindicated you know I'm saying oh but
I'm right you know that you know they don't have any right to be mad at me
they don't three right that's I'm the one who's in the right here and they
need to admit it that's pride that is pride the need to be vindicated
publicly to have your you know whoever it is you're at odds with admit that
you're right if you're gonna insist on that that's pride you know that's
contention look I'm not saying there isn't a time to stand up for what's
right okay but often in our just our personal relationships it's not some
matter of you know biblical importance that we're arguing over right it's two
people that just don't get along they don't see eye to eye they they have
personality conflicts you know you see this type of thing all the time in
ministry where people just they have an axe to grind and then they just you know
they get their buddies and they go get their buddies and it's just there's just
at odds with each other and you say well who's right well who cares it's it's
pride because only by pride come with contention and you know we should want
to seek peace and just let you know let things rest and just be at peace with
people and sometimes we even when we're right might have to just say okay you
know well whatever you want you know you're right and I know that'd be
technically lying but you know just give a soft answer hey you know what it's
okay it's not a big deal let's just let bygones we be gone it's bridge let's
just let it be water on the bridge it's not make a big deal at it let's just
let things blow over you know that's how we should seek to live our lives I mean
that's you know if we want peace in our lives that's how we should seek to live
our lives I mean isn't life stressful enough isn't life just hard enough
without going out and having to have bitter envying strife with other people
over I mean people get so mad at each other and they stay mad so long they
don't even know what they're mad about anymore they can't even remember what
set it off right thing like the Hatfields and McCoys right that's like
what are you fighting about well his name's Hatfield well what are you
fighting him for well his name's McCoy right but what started the whole thing
I don't know he's a Hatfield and he's McCoy and we're gonna fight I don't know
if anyone down here in the southwest knows if you let the Hatfield McCoys
but it's a you know it's two hillbillies that just fight out in the woods for no
reason right they're just constantly quarreling at each other you know I'm
mad at her and what did she do I don't know but I remember whatever it was it
was bad and she was wrong well what did she do I don't know right it doesn't you
see that's that's a dumb way to live your life we should seek to be people
that just forget about things and not hang on to things and and and stay mad
at people and be bitter about things and just not let things go that's not any
kind of way to live your life because you know if we get into a habit of doing
that that's like that then that's gonna be the rest of our life because here's
the thing people are always gonna be doing things that upset us people are
caught you know not constantly but you know you're gonna you're gonna have
people that come in your life that offend you you're gonna have people
come to your life that do things you don't like and hurt your feelings and
everything else and we have to learn to just let these things go you know I mean
obviously there's a limit I get it like if they're gonna come in and do harm to
us physically or harm our family or something that yeah we're gonna we're
gonna get mad we're gonna stay mad and we're gonna fight for what's right but
you know that's not how often is that you know well that you know I went to
work and he parked in my spot everyone knows that's my spot does it have a sign
with your name on it no but everyone knows that's my spot like I've dealt
with this right it wasn't said like that you know they were like hey you know
just so you know that's where I always park there's like six parking spots on
the other side I'm just like I was like well I'm new here you know that's where
I'm parking now so what now you know and just like that's like okay well park
somewhere else he's just like I just really like parking in this spot in
front of that tree that's my tree and I'm just like okay I'll park and they
were like oh I'm so glad you were nice about it I didn't show I wasn't sure how
you were gonna react I was going to work I just started parking I was new there
and this went on for weeks and then finally you know this gal worked up the
courage to confront me about where I was parking every morning you know and then
I have a work van where I park you know and I park in a particular spot and then
I would start coming back from you know to from work you know to report back to
headquarters to park my van and somebody else and park in my spot and I
had to park three spots down and I'm you know and I have to fight this stuff too
I was like you know I'm gonna go in there and it was a police officer right
because we have campus police it was a cop car I'm gonna go with the station
there I'm gonna find out which one of these lieutenants is parking in my
I'm gonna tell them you know it's like how you think that's gonna go you and I
did I just parked in the other spot right it's a silly example but you know
people get upset over petty things don't they people find make mountains out of
molehills people get offended over just these little things they just blow them
way out of proportion and and then just it can ruin relationships and we you
know what I'm saying is you're gonna have plenty of opportunity in life to be
offended at people and be upset and be angry and you shouldn't you should seek
peace and you should use these tactics right if that's if necessary you got
some mortal enemy at work or whatever it's like say something nice be humble
be meek help you know help them out in some way whatever the fine ways don't
just dig in your heels and be like yeah we're gonna go at it you know so you
know that's you know I'm trying not to preach two sermons tonight but I do want
to wrap up this chapter tonight so you know this we're seeing again some of the
qualities of Jacob you see a lot of his qualities coming out and the way he
reacts and the first thing we're seeing is that well let me point it out cuz I
don't know if I read it in verse 8 he said what meanest thou by all this drove
which I met and he said these are to find grace in the sight of my Lord right
so you can see that's kind of the culmination of the two things we talked
about his words he's finding the great sight of my Lord right some humility in
that language and what they're talking about right the drove these are a gift
right because I'm trying to smooth things over with us okay I don't want a
bad blood and he saw you know he says I have enough and he kind of has to you
know tell him to take it and he ends up taking it says end of verse 11 I and he
urged him and he took it so he takes the gift and verse 12 he says and he said
let us this you saw speaking take our journey and let us go and I will go
before thee right these four hundred guys they were I just came out to
protect you and it's all they're here for maybe that's maybe that's the case I
don't know interesting story and he said unto him my Lord knoweth that the
children are tender and the flocks and herds are young excuse me and the herds
with young are with me and if men should overdrive them one day all the flock
will die let my Lord I pray thee pass over before a servant I will lead on
softly according as the cattle that go with before me and the child children be
able to endure until I come unto my Lord excuse me I come to my Lord unto seer
and Esau said let me now leave with these some of the folk that are with me
and he said would needeth it let me find grace in the sight of my Lord and Esau
returned that day on his way to seer and Jacob journeyed to sucketh and of course
he settles down there and that leads into chapter 34 but the point I want to
make here is that you know he says in verse 14 you know I will lead on softly
according as the cattle that go with before me and the children be able to be
to endure this is a good principle when it comes to leadership right you don't
want to overdrive people you can't really expect more from people than what
they're capable of doing you know this could be another source of frustration
in our lives you know if we if we want to get more out of people than they're
actually capable of doing you know then we're just setting them up for failure
and we're just setting ourselves up for you know for disappointment and you know
so that's a really good principle to to be somebody who leads again gently right
leads softly okay I do want to look a little bit tonight just very quickly at
a couple passages in the New Testament so if you would go over to 2nd Timothy
chapter number two I know I've been I've quoted a lot of these recently I've even
touched on this a little bit in other sermons but you know it's here in the
text again tonight I think it ties in with what Jacob had done earlier we see
you know Jacob's a very thoughtful and humble man right he's very he's got some
he's got a good head on a shoulder he's he's thinking okay how are we gonna
pacify Esau okay so he's considerate he's a very considerate person he's
considerate obviously of his own skin right in the situation but he also of
those that are with him he doesn't want them to suffer necessarily he puts them
in the droves he puts him himself out front and he sends a gift before them he
uses his words wisely he's humbleness and he's meek and he's being gentle and
pacifies Esau assuming that it was there which I'm kind of opinion that it was
but it also you know he's also he's very considerate in that way but he's also
consider the people that he's leading right not just the conflict that he has
to resolve in his life but also the people that are looking to him for
leadership right that he's being considerate of their short company I
don't want to call it a shortcoming right again really you know a child only
be able to walk so fast it's not really a shortcoming I mean they're a child
okay you know it always surprised me sometimes my kids will walk with me and
you know they won't hold my hand and it's like all of a sudden I have to go
from you know taking these little baby steps right you can't just like come on
you want to walk with me that's how fast we walk you know you're gonna pull an
arm out of the socket you're gonna scrape an either they're not gonna want
to be with you right what's the problem you know it's like they have a gate like
this you know they can't that's just how fast they walk you can't really hold it
against them it's not a fault you know we're not all you know made equal in
that way some people are stronger physically some people have more
fortitude some people have more ability than others in certain areas just the
way it is right so when it comes to leading whether it's in your home or
wherever you know you have to be considerate of the people that you're
leading and you can't expect more from them than they're actually capable of
doing okay you have to lead softly right and it kind of you know obviously there
were other people that were with him that were more than capable of going
faster probably even than himself right I mean his his grown sons are probably
you know they're younger full-grown men they could probably outpace Jacob even
right but Jacob saying we're not moving any faster than the slowest of us we're
not leaving anyone behind right and I think that's a good principle I think
something that we should keep in mind you know as leaders as fathers right
let's be considerate of the fact that you know the Bible says that our wives
the woman is the weaker vessel right but the Bible also says that men ought to
honor you know their wives and not you know in a sense of you know dwelling
with them according to knowledge right meaning you don't expect more than what
they're capable of doing okay same for children you know the Bible says
fathers provoke not your children to wrath okay what does that mean I think
that's referring to setting us an unattainable standard and it's it's kind
of cliche like we've you know you might have heard that you know the
overbearing father nothing's ever good enough right but that's a real thing
right a father who sets the bar so I'm not saying don't set a bar right I'm
not saying that I'm saying set a bar by all means have standards but make them
attainable you know kids want to attain things they want the sense of
accomplishment they want the sense of a job well done they like to be encouraged
they like to hear hey good job they like to be they like you know having that
sense of you know ability right that they're competent in something that they
are smart and it can achieve and do things right but we don't want to set
these unrealistic standards we don't want to set this bar so high that they
can't that's just you're just setting up someone for frustration at that point
okay so I think that's a good principle he's considerate right he's considerate
of the problems he has to deal with right potential problems but he's also
considered the people that he's leading and if you notice in both instances what
do you see there you see humility you see meekness right and him as a leader
there's humility and meekness that's that that's like the main ingredient to
all this humility and meekness because again only by pride cometh contention
you want to smooth that over someone's just gonna have to you know take it on
the chin someone's just gonna have to swallow some lumps and just be the bigger
man or whatever take the high road and just let bygones be bygones and just let
things smooth things over right that's how you resolve things someone has to
just be willing to you know like Paul told her told the Corinthians you know
why not just suffer yourselves to be defrauded rather to you know they were
taking each other to court in the church they were suing each other and he was
rebuking them you know you go to court and that before the the world before the
unbelievers he said would you you know why don't you just rather suffer
yourself to be defrauded it would be better to just let a brother rip you off
than to go out and sue him in court right but that takes humility doesn't
it that takes a lot of meekness to suffer a wrong like that but that's what
it takes often to resolve conflict is you have to just be willing to let
things go and you know that's why the Bible just talks about so much about
we're just admonished and commanded even in the New Testament to be humble and to
be meek right and of course that's done through the spirit right that is one of
the fruits of the spirit to have meekness right gentleness as it puts it
I don't know where I had you go I've been rambling for so long where you at
first second to me chapter 2 verse 24 and the servant of the Lord must not
strive but be gentle unto all men apt to teach patient right that's what a
requirement for a servant right maybe you know obviously
Timothy being a bishop being an elder being a pastor this is something that's
absolutely necessary for the ministry but if we're gonna serve to God in any
capacity you know we have to be gentle unto other people you have to be patient
you know we want to teach people we have to be patient and let people come to the
get things right sometimes people always get things you preach things you teach
things you show things people in the Bible it sometimes it goes over their
head you know should we just be like what's the point you know they're never
gonna get it it's no you have to be gentle you might have to preach it again
and again that's why he said we're gonna preach with all long suffering and
doctrine right sometimes we forget what we've learned and sometimes it takes a
long time to get something through our heads right that's just the way human
nature is you know that's why he's saying we have to be gentle okay be
considerate of the people that you're trying to instruct go over to and I'll
wrap up go to first him first Thessalonians chapter number two and I
think sometimes you know we especially as men we don't like this because
sometimes people can perceive meekness as weakness right you know sometimes you
know we as men we always kind of want to puff our chaps out and kind of let the
other guy know who is really in charge we know I'm the alpha or whatever right
and so it's hard sometimes for us as men especially just be like hey you know
it's cool and not have to prove something to somebody right but you know
there's nothing weak about being a meek person don't mistake meekness for
weakness don't mistake gentleness and kindness as a sign of you know of being
some kind of a whelp of being some kind of a weakling right often it's the
bigger man that has to do that and I don't know I mean physically I'm saying
like it's the guy with more integrity that has to be that way right look at
and just in case you're wondering you know Paul was such a man you know Paul
was a man who showed great meekness great gentleness right so less we think
that meekness and gentleness is something that is just unmanly or
something well one I'd point you to Jacob the example from tonight we know
Jacob was a man's man we remember when he first went to Laban all those years
ago he rolled that stone off the well that it said they have thrown he mean he
had physical strength right but it's not just physical strength that makes men
strong it's the ability to be able to get along and lead and you could still
be strong and manly and hard-working and all that and still be a gentle and meek
person and be a humble person I mean we would probably all agree that the
Apostle Paul was an incredibly bold man you know the it says that he was you
know his his his presence is weak right but his speech is powerful you know
people read description that give the impression that he was a man of low
stature he wasn't a real big guy right but he had it all nonetheless I'm sure
Paul was probably an intimidating presence right not that he he intended
to be an intimidating person right but just because of his boldness of speech
the knowledge that he had the boldness that he had the example that he was the
kind of life that he lived he was pro you know because the people that we look
up to you know through no fault of the realm they can sometimes be intimidating
right because we kind of lift him up on a pedestal we put him up there as an
example and then they can kind of that we feel like now they're kind of looking
down on us it's like well they're not first of all you know they're just doing
what they're supposed to be doing right but we would probably all agree that
Paul if Paul walked in tonight you'd probably say shut up beacon Paul's here
let's let him I'd be like amen let's let Paul preach tonight right he's
probably he's probably kind of it was an intimidating guy to be around to
something for some people I'm sure right but even Paul as powerful and as bold as
he was talked about his met about being meek about being gentle right and I like
the illustration that he uses here in first Thessalonians chapter 2 verse 6 he
says nor of men soughtly glory neither of you nor yet of others that we might
have been burdensome as the apostles of Christ but we were gentle among you now
he could have put a period right there right be like oh Paul was gentle Paul
was a gentle guy right still manly so hard worker still something you know all
the guys could look up to a great leader right but we get it he was gentle but I
like how he the the the illustration he uses in the latter half the sentence
even as a nurse cherish with her children that's not a you know I'll be
honest that's not how I perceive this church so yeah that's not how I you know
examine the dynamic between me and the church here well you know I try to teach
the teacher treat them like a like a nursing child that I'm bringing up right
you know maybe I should I don't know but isn't that that's kind of a that's a
kind of almost a feminine description isn't it right that's not exactly the
strongest I mean a nursing mother is not a very intimidating person right it's
obvious is very nurturing very caring but there's a lot of long-suffering
gentleness involved there right you know my wife has nursed five kids and there
was a lot of there was a lot of patience and meekness and gentleness you can't
you know you can't make these kids do what they're supposed to do when it
comes to that right you got you're kind of on their terms right you got to kind
of work them through it I'm not gonna go into all the details right but that's
that's the illustration that Paul used hey we were gentle among you like a
nurse who cherished with her children he's talking about like a nursing child
right who's who's suckering a child and he's like that's how we were you know
and look babies can be fussy and they can eat at all hours they're not on any
kind of a schedule they do what they want right it can be really frustrating
work to nurse a child it's exhausting in fact right but it's got to be done
okay and if you're gonna do it and you're gonna stick with it you're gonna
have to be a very meek gentle and patient person right the same is true
when it comes to leadership to whatever degree we lead to our interactions with
other people we have to be gentle and meek and it's not easy right especially
if you know we tend to have you know a streak of pride in us you know and and
that's something that we as men typically do struggle with more than
ladies look women can have it too but it's typically more of a man's sin to
have pride right because we as men you know we want to be looked up to we want
people to you know mostly like we want people to we care about getting respect
and support no man to be respected and to have people you know treat us with
respect right but that can also turn into a source of pride right so if we're
gonna be gentle and meet to other people we're gonna have to keep our pride in
check you know and I and I think you know that's something that Jacob was
really good at right Jacob because again you know and I don't want to turn you
all the way back there but even in his prayer to God in chapter 32 he says you
know I'm not you know I'm not worthy right he's basically convincing is his
own unworthiness before God he's not worthy of all the wisdom and grace that
he's given him so you can see these attributes in Jacob and they're in every
great leader in the Bible you know his gentleness meekness right Moses was the
meekest man all the earth certainly we'll call that guy a weak guy but there
before I would say that the prerequisite to those attributes is an absence of
pride its humility it's got to be there okay let's go ahead and close in a word
of prayer dear Lord again thank you for this great story