The story of
Jacob and Laban's flocks here. Jacob's trying to want to kind of go his way and of course
Laban's trying to stop him because he realizes that he's being blessed as a result of Jacob having been there
And before we really get into that story you get a lot of this. There's almost two stories kind of taking place here
It's hard to kind of cover everything in one sermon
I'll do my best tonight to get through all of this but
The first thing we really see is this conflict that takes place between Leah and Rachel
the two wives of
Jacob and you know it always you know it just makes me kind of laugh because you know you hear people
You know even Christians say oh, yeah, the Bible. You know is in support of polygamy
You'll see people ask questions like hey, it's a Bible teach polygamy, and then I've seen people people where they answer
You know so-called Christian say yeah
I mean think about you know all these guys in the Bible and the Old Testament that practice polygamy where God
You know explicitly says that a king should not multiply into himself's wives that he was against polygamy
I mean from the beginning he made the male and female right so that these twain should be one flesh
I mean, that's the way God's intention beginning, but man being what he is decided to go ahead and
You know corrupt that that marriage that I that concept of being one man and one woman
And but yeah, you had people say oh, no God's for it got you know and you know
There's Old Testament examples of polygamy
It's like yeah
But have you ever actually gone to read the examples of the Old Testament where we have polygamy taking place
Have you actually gone to read those stories because it doesn't go very well, right?
And this is a perfect example of that yeah
You know Jacob we saw last week ended up with two wives not through his own
Accord but because he was tricked into having a second wife and whether that's right or wrong
That's a whole nother debate we can have but you know he ends up with two wives
And you know there's a lot of conflict taking place here. There's a lot of
You know just tension here, and you can pick it up in the story because you basically in the story you see where
You know the wives are competing for Jacob's affection right that he's being pulled in two different directions
And one of them Rachel the one that he loved the one he intended to marry is
Favored you know she's the one that's being given the attention. She's the one
That Jacob is spending the most time with it appears
He's the one that he's dwelling with her whereas Leah is kind of being left to herself
Right which you know for like you know you feel bad for Leah in the story because it seems to me like Leah
It's kind of left out in the cold a little bit right and
But it's interesting to me that God opens up her womb right and gives her children, okay?
So let's just get into the story here a little bit
It says here in Genesis chapter 30 verse 1 and when Rachel saw that she bared Jacob no children
Rachel envied her sister so again. You can just see how great
This whole polygamy thing is working out and said unto Jacob. Give me children or else I die okay
So I'm just gonna make several points as we go through the text tonight the first thing
I want to point out is that women naturally desire children, okay?
That's just a natural desire that they have you know they unless they've been brainwashed by the world whether they
Adopted just you know this modernist
Feminist you know ideology that's out there where they're just more interested in a career and things like that
It's interesting to me
How many times even women who in their in their early childbearing years who forego having children later in life?
Regret not having them or start desiring children
You know well when they get into their late 30s late 40s
You know they were it's kind of getting a little late at that point. You know you're kind of the biological clock
You know it's ticking down pretty quick and when you're getting into your 40s
Okay, but it gets just goes to show you that women naturally desire to have children
You know whether they want to admit that or not no matter how much they try to suppress that that is there right?
I mean you see Rachel. What's the what's the problem here in the story?
One woman's habit lady is having children the other one isn't and this is like a great source of
Envy this is a source of conflict and strife
Leia is having these children and
Rachel's seeing it and
She's getting upset and she's saying you know give me children or else I die right
There's this this one thing that she wants to do and that's have children
she wants to have children and
Rachel and Leia they kind of get into this competition here right where and then they end to actually end up farming out
You know their their their own handmaids even so there's four women in this story that end up burying the twelve children of Israel
Right, and that's how in it you say it's kind of an odd story and it is and I get it that it's another time in
Another place but at the same time, you know
It's it kind of shows us to just this desire that women have to have children so much so that they'll even
Have you know their handmaids bear the children and the story Leia even brokers a deal here, right?
She with these mandrakes in hopes of conceiving, right?
Because in verse 14 it says that Ruben went out in the days of the wheat harvest and found
Mandrakes in the field and brought them unto his mother Leia, right?
So Leia, of course, she had Ruben Simeon Levi and Judah then you had Bilhah who ended up having
Ruben Simeon Levi Judah Dan and Naphtali then you have Zilpah the handmaid who had Gad and Asher
Later on the story Leia bears again Isakar and Zebulun and then we know the story that Rachel eventually bears Joseph
And then when they're returning back in the land bears Benjamin
so
Ruben is the firstborn the first four of the first four that were born unto Leia
But the firstborn of all and he goes out in the wheat and the days of wheat harvest and he finds these mandrakes now
I didn't take the time to look that up when a mandrake is I'm assuming it's some kind of does anyone know what?
A mandrake is has anyone seen a mandrake
You know, there's all these exotic fruits in the world that we've never even seen right you ever noticed that
There's like other parts in the world where there's there's food items that none of us have even know about doesn't that kind of bother you
It kind of it kind of keeps me up at night
Sometimes knowing that there's food in the world that I don't know about now. There's some food in the world
I wish I didn't know about right
I mean some of these South Pacific cuisines some of these Asian cuisines where things are writhing and there's like
Tentacles that are latching onto your face as you're trying to look that stuff
But knowing there's some kind of succulent fruit out there that I have never tasted
Don't even know maybe it's better that I don't know about it, right?
But no one in here even knows what a mandrake is
I think it's some kind of a fruit basically does anyone know anyone want to clue me in on this?
interactive preaching tonight
But nobody knows what a man know or they don't want to say right they think they're being tested. All right, okay
Well, whatever it is, you know, it's it's highly desirable. Okay?
Because Ruben goes out he gets the mandrake and
He brings him unto his mother Leia then Rachel. She sees that you know, these mandrakes have been found and
She says to Leia give me I pray thee of thy son's mandrakes
So she wants some of these mandrakes and she said unto her
Is it a small thing that thou has taken my husband would thou take away my son's mandrakes also, right?
She's like, you know, you already got my husband
You know, he married was married to me first Rachel and
Now you want to steal the mandrakes you want to steal the fruit, right? Sometimes all you've got in life is
Food right food is always there for you. No matter what else is going on and wrong in your life
Food hasn't gone anywhere food has never failed you right food is always good food is faithful, right?
So that's kind of you know what she's kind of saying here, right? I don't know
That's what she's me saying but she's she's upset. She's like you're taking everything else from me
Now you want these mandrakes to what's the deal and Rachel said therefore he shall lie with thee tonight for thy son's mandrakes
So it's not sound too crass, but I mean this is kind of a weird situation where it's like there, you know
Basically Jacob's being kind of pimped out here for these mandrakes when you think about it. It's kind of a weird situation, right?
She's like, oh, I really want these mandrakes. She's like, okay. Well, how about a deal here?
You know, well, I tell you what he'll he'll you know
He'll sleep in your bed tonight and I get some mandrakes out of the deal
Must have been some good mandrakes
I don't know then Jacob come out of the field in the evening and Leah went to meet him and said thou must come in
Unto me for I have surely hired thee with my son's mandrakes and he lay with her that night. Okay?
So now I who here is ever and you might there's no I'm not really sure whether what's right or wrong here
But who here has ever read this or has heard it?
Inferred or said explicitly that these mandrakes somehow had something to do with fertility
Has anyone ever heard that one of one other person in case I'm not alone on that, you know
I heard that and every time I've always read the story
I kind of thought that that there's something you know about these
Something potent about these mandrakes that have something to do with conceiving children
But then when you really think about the story though, and I'm not and maybe that is the case, you know
We have to rely on like, you know
Some commentary of some archaeologists from way back in the day who wants to tell us that mandrakes were you know?
These aphrodisiacs back in the ancient world or something like that, but even if that's the case think about the story
right
Leah is giving away mandrakes to have the husband
So if the mandrakes were what make you conceive then she's kind of like, you know, you see what I'm saying?
Like she's giving away the the aphrodisiac and had such in order to have the husband would you you need both, right?
Wouldn't you think you need both? What are they gonna do? What good are they gonna do Rachel?
She wants to have children
You know and the way the story's been told and things people have said you kind of get the impression that she wants the mandrakes
So that she can see can have children, right?
But if she's giving away, you know her husband, you know that night is that really is there really gonna help now?
Maybe she gets him later. I get that to me
I don't know where people kind of just lift things out of the Bible
They just kind of think oh, yeah
This was some kind of aphrodisiac back in the day that helped you conceive children or something
But you know, it's interesting too because apparently these mandrakes didn't work
Right because Rachel doesn't have children until much later in the story, you know
so I don't know how long these mandrakes keep for but
You know, I imagine they'd they'd have rotten by brought it out by then
So anyway, it's just kind of a minor detail in the story right what's the deal with the mandrakes
You know, I just think that it was something that you know
Rachel really wanted and they just kind of made this deal the Bible is kind of giving us these details to kind of show
Us that polygamy really, you know, God was right. Polygamy is not a good idea. It just creates tension
It creates, you know, just this really
Toxic environment it just makes this really bad dynamic. Okay puts puts people at odds
So it says there and Jacob came out of the field he lay with her that night verse 17 and God harken unto Leah
and she conceived and bear Jacob the fifth son, right and
Leah said God hath given me my higher because I have
Given now when it says the fifth son there, it's it's not it's actually the seventh son. Okay, but it's Leah's fifth
Okay, because she had Ruben Simeon Levi and Judah then Bilhah has Dan and after lie
Right, then you have Gad and Asher, okay
Well, actually it's yeah, it's later than that even okay, so it's it's her sixth son or her her fifth son
Excuse me, but it's not the fifth in the chronology of sons that makes sense
The sixth son and Leah can seem again and bear Jacob the sixth son
So to me I read the story I don't think the mandrakes have anything to do with conceiving
Okay, I think he's just it's just she's using this to kind of contractually bind
Jacob into getting what she wants
And what the other thing we can learn about the story is that God is the one that opens and shuts the womb. Okay
Now this might not be something that people are dealing with
Tonight but it very well may be something that people at some point in their life have to deal with
You know
I've known many people over the years that deal with
Infertility people who desire to have children and for one reason or another are unable to okay
You know
The Bible showing us Genesis again in Genesis 30 verse 22 that God remembered Rachel and God harkened to her and opened her womb
right and
Even Jacob early on in the chapter says, you know, am I in God's place to open and shut the womb?
He understands this is God's doing and that's what we need to understand that
You know God is the one that opens and shuts the womb that got that the fruit of the womb is his reward
Okay, and again, it's his reward. It's not his curse. It's not his burden. It's not his punishment, you know having children is
A blessing having children is a reward
Having children, yes, it's a lot of work. It's a lot of responsibility
But there's a lot of good things that come out of it right for one the human race doesn't go to extinct, right?
If one generation all agreeing to not have children, that would be it
Right and the command is to be fruitful and multiply but again the fruit of the room is the is the Lord's reward
He's the one that gives children. Okay, and
So even if we want to say all these mandrakes have something to do with fertility
Well, you know they're they're putting their trust in the wrong place and you know
There's no mention here that these mandrakes had any kind of a potent effect
To where it actually helped children conceive in the story in the chapter. It's God. That's remembering Rachel. It's God
That's looking upon Leah. It's God that's opening the moon not these, you know, these mandrakes not these man-made devices
Not these old wives tales
That are bringing children about it's the Lord that's giving children here that ought to be a lesson for us today
You know if we're you know, if we are ourselves or anybody we know or at some point in our lives
struggle with infertility
You know, we don't we need to go to God. That's who's going to help us with this and if you study the Bible
You'll see that when people pray and seek God that God opens the room in every one of these instances
Well that it mentions that God opens the room that God opens the room that he you know, he answers that prayer, okay
And you know, sometimes I wonder if the reason why God doesn't always give the children that people desire and there and I understand that
You know, there are things that people can do to themselves physically
That I mean we might do something to ourselves where we we do make it impossible for us to have children
Okay, but I'm just saying in the natural course of things when we're not, you know doing things that might harm our body
To prevent us from having children
Whether intended or otherwise in the natural course of things, you know, if people are struggling with infertility
You wonder if sometimes the reason why they are is maybe God's trying to get their attention
You know one of the easiest ways for God to get our attention is allow things go wrong in our life I
Mean think about the times you you've cried out to God and probably, you know in a very earnest way
It's probably when you're going through something. It's probably when something bad was happening
That's just human nature when things are good
And this is what Moses was warning them when they you know, Deuteronomy when they're going that they would not forget the Lord
They're God
When they go in the land they prosper and they dwell in vineyards or homes that they did not built they eat of vineyards
They did not plant when God just blesses them immensely that they would forget the Lord
They're God because that's human nature when things are going. Well, we have all this prosperity
You know, that's when we kind of forget about God God takes a backseat
You know, and sometimes God lets the let's things get lean sometimes God lets us go through difficult things
Sometimes God lets us go through trials
tribulations so that we would seek him, right
And that's you know, that's a good thing, you know because the God, you know a broken and contrite spirit
God will not refuse or despise
And you know if we're if we're going through something if we're having difficulty, you know
Maybe it's just God trying to get our attention. Hey, you know, let's
Let's work on some stuff, right?
You know that might be the case sometimes even an infertility right Rachel eventually bears children years later
the mandrakes are long gone, you know whether they had anything to do with it anyway, and
Maybe somewhere along the line Rachel realizes, you know, it's God like it's like my husband said
God is the one that's in the place of opening and shutting the womb
So there's a couple things we can learn from this first part of the chapter here. Is that
You know one women desire children
That's it. That's a god-given instinct to have children
It takes you know a bunch of you know, it takes a lot of institutions
It takes a lot of brainwashing to kind of convince them. Otherwise
You know try to make them think contrary to their own nature
But you know it that's something that's just ingrained in every woman to have children
Okay
and
the other thing we can see from this also is that God's the one that opens and shuts the womb and
Lastly not that it's a big problem here, you know outside of maybe some parts of Utah
In Northern Arizona, we don't have you know, polygamy is not the is not good
Polygamy is a hurtful thing, right? Think about how Leah is very lonely here, right kind of put yourself
In her shoes, right?
She's she's the rightful wife and she's kind of being denied here right she has to literally
Hire her own husband to have that relationship with him. That's kind of sad when you think about it
Look at verse 20 of Genesis 30 and Leah said God hath endued me with a good dowry
Now will my husband dwell with me because I have borne him six sons and he called his name zebulun, right?
So she's she's trying you can get the sense that you know now my husband's gonna love me now
He's gonna want to dwell with me because I'm the one that's bearing
The bulk of the children here, right? She's the one that's had half of the tribes, right?
She's the one that's the born the most children unto him. So she in that statement just kind of smacks with
Sadness when you think about it now will my husband dwell with me. I mean, well what's been wrong up until this point?
Well, the problem is is that Jacob never never really loved her that he was in love with Rachel and he got into this polygamous situation
And you know, this is something that husbands need to be careful not polygamy necessarily
But the other application we can make is not becoming bitter against your wives not despising your wives
You know we as husbands need to dwell with our wives
It's important and not to you know, just treat them like, you know, they're just another you know
Just thing in our life or something or just another part of our life, you know, our wives are incredibly important
You know and they have means they have to be met. They have time needs to be spent with them
I mean the Bible and first Peter
explicitly says this
Okay, it says in verse 7
Likewise he husbands dwell with them wives according to knowledge
Right. That's what Leia wanted that he that her husband would dwell with her and then in first Peter
He's saying husbands dwell with your wives according to knowledge
We should spend time with our wives
And I know that sounds like yeah obvious, right? But you know, there's a lot of guys out there
I mean we're reading about Jacob
He's not I mean Leia has to go at all these great lengths to try and get some time with her husband
You know
It's out there people ignore their wives they don't spend time with their wives and
And
It's a shame right? We need to dwell according to our with our wives according knowledge
We need to give honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel
We should be looking to help our wives assist our wives, you know, obviously, you know, we provide we pay the bills
We do all that stuff, but that's that's just kind of our responsibility. That's what we're supposed to do
right
And we can't just get this attitude. Well, you know, I paid the bills
Good enough, right? That's where it ends, you know
We have to be make we have to make sure that we're you know
Spending time with them helping them giving honor to them
And and so on and so forth now, let me get a little bit and this might make people a little uncomfortable
Talk about from pulpit, but the Bible addresses this so I'm gonna dress lit. Okay
Physical relations should not be denied from spouses
Okay, and that that needs to be said that that is one way to destroy your marriage very quickly
When you start using that physical relationship as some kind of a carrot on a stick or a
Reward or two to manipulate people to get what you want. It's not right. Okay, go to 1st Corinthians 7
It's important that we read this good. Look the Bible addresses it. So I'm gonna talk about it, right?
Isn't that what's going on in story tonight?
It's it's about it's it's all revolving around the physical relationship between man and wife man and wives in Jacob's case
Right, and you see these two ladies that they desperately want to have children they want to bear children
Well, they need their husband for that
And it seems like you know Leah is being ignored in this area where she has to you know
Use these mandrakes to bribe her own husband so that she can have children and have this physical relationship
and
to have time with her husband and
These physical relationships are not to be denied spouses whether it's wife denying husband or husband denying wife
It says in 1st Corinthians chapter 7 verse 3 let the husband render unto the wife do benevolence and
That's the Bible's, you know tasteful gentle way of talking about that rendering do benevolence. It's talking about the physical relationship
the act of intimacy between husband and wife between man and woman and
Likewise also the wife or the husband it goes both ways, right?
The wife hath not power over her own body, but the husband ha ha ha
All right, all the guys are like, yeah
Glad I came to church tonight, right?
He will wait a minute and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife
So if the wife has that need
expresses that it's the husband's duty and job to fulfill that need whether he feels like it or not and
vice versa, okay
If if the husband has that need it has a man often do you know, it's the wife's responsibility to
You know deliver that to her to him to because her body is not her own and his body's not his own
That's what the Bible just said
You know, if you think that's talking about something else come talk to me at the sermon. I would love to know
But it's I think it's explicitly clear. It's very well understood have been preached many many thousands of times
That's exactly what this is talking about
Verse five to fraud not you not one another except to be with consent for a time. They may bring yourselves
Give yourselves to fasting to prayer and come together again that Satan tempt you not for your incontinence
Incontinency right your inability to contain yourself. That's what it means to be incontinent
Right to not withhold not to be able to exercise self-control right in this area
And if that's that's what he's saying here is like if this relationship is not taking place between husband and wife
You're leaving the door open for temptation
to seek to fulfill those desires through other means and
Worst of all obviously being adultery
Going out and committing adultery, you know, that's a punishment that in the Old Testament was punishable by death. Okay?
So he's saying here look, you know unless it's for a time right unless you agree together like hey
We're gonna not have this union
For a time that we may give ourselves a prayer and fasting so, you know, some people ask well
Well, how often should that be?
Like how often should people and husbands and wives get together like that
Well, first of all, it's kind of a personal question
right and
Every people are different. Okay, and you know people as they go through life, you know that
Desire waxes and wanes and grow strong at our time, you know, there's there's seasons to all that I get that
But how about it just a general guideline ask yourself this how long would you go without eating?
Now if you're anything like me it's not long
Three four hours, you know, you know aside from the time you're sleeping, you know
Right. It's like a daily thing, right?
That's that's you know, that's probably a good principle right there
I wouldn't go any longer without that relationship than I would not eating I
Think the longest, you know, I don't remember exactly but if you've ever done any kind of fasting, you know, you can go several days
You know, but that that's pretty extreme isn't it if you ever if you ever fasted for seven or eight days nine days
That's that's a long time
When you find yourself just like smelling food just standing over a plate of food. Just like wafting at your nose like
right
Has anyone ever experienced this I'm here I did a fast once it was just like my wife was cooking
And I this is for physical reasons. Okay, so it was this is for weight loss reasons and other reasons
So it's I didn't just lose my reward just now, okay
But she'd be cooking for the kids because obviously I'm the only one fasting and I would come in the kitchen when she's cooking
And I would just stand over the plate and whatever she's cooking. I just smell it
But isn't that a perfect picture of what happens when you go without some physical need
You know to the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet, but the full soul loatheth and honeycomb
You know the guy that's full isn't going to be attempted by other things, you know, if I'm if I'm you know
Eating a good meal
Tonight as I did, you know eat a nice pork chop and some some rice
You know, I'm not gonna be tempted on the way home to you know, jerk the wheel into Arby's down the road here
Or Taco Bell right now if it's canes it's another snow skin, right?
But I'm gonna be able to go home and you know have a light snack and go to bed
Why cuz Matt need has been met right it's it's a great analogy it's a great picture
You know and that's a very you know say hunger is a very real need. Yeah. Well, so is the the need for a
physical relationship
that's a very that's a god-given desire that's just put into us and
It's needs to be met within the bounds of marriage, I mean that's one of the major
It's one of the main reasons to get married
And that you know, that's and that's not a
You know, that's not a carnal thing to say that's the truth
You know, it's better to marry than to burn the Bible says
You know if we're burning with our lost if we're struggling in that area, you know, we should get serious about finding a spouse
Make it, you know mission
priority number one
To go find that spouse and have that need met
Because you'll end up resorting to other things. You will you'll pull that you'll find yourself in Jack in the Box
Yeah, right. I
Mean you get hungry enough. Even I've eaten a jack-in-the-box one time once years ago
We didn't have it where I'm from we moved to Phoenix
It's like oh you got to get the 99 cent tacos or something like that. Couldn't even finish. It's disgusting
It's the worst it's like who eats that stuff Jack in the Box. Yeah, I call it something else
I won't say that from the pulpit
Asked me later, right
But you know, that's it's the same analogy, you know
If that relationship isn't there between man and wife that those physical needs are met
You know the husband or the wife is gonna start, you know, looking at the drive-thru at work
You know that office worker that they didn't care for all of a sudden
When things are going bad at home
when there's tension at home when there's resentment and bitterness and anger and envy and and people are holding out on each other and
Denying each other, you know, it's not gonna go away
they're gonna start looking elsewhere and then next thing, you know, they're gonna be in
the bosom of a stranger
As the Bible says so it's it's a serious issue
I mean, it's that's why else would the Bible take the time to address this in first Corinthians
Why else would Paul take the time to write about something like this unless it was a major issue
And the Bible addresses it. It's important and he's spending several verses here on this right and he's warning us
He's saying look if you do this if you deny each other don't go too long
Because you'll be tempted and you'll be tempted by Satan right? Let's Satan tempt you for your incontinency
So, you know that and that's what we see taking place in the story tonight you say where did that come from
Well, Leah's being denied
you know at least enough so to where she feels like she has to you know,
Take her mandrakes and and hire her own husband to come in into her. That's what she said. I've hired thee tonight
That's a sad thing
And when we think about you know that specific situation with Jacob and you know
Being married to Leah a woman that he you know was tricked into marrying by her father
as we read last week if you know the story and
Also being married to Rachel the person for whom he labored for seven years and it says that those seven years
What seemed to a few days on him for the love wherewith he had her so he's married to a woman that he loves
very deeply
But then he's also married to a woman that he's not in love with
Right, and this should be another lesson to us that we should marry for love and love alone
And that's not me just being up here being a hopeless romantic, okay?
People should marry people that they genuinely and sincerely love
Because that's who you're gonna want to spend your time with
Right you end up married to a Leah that you someone you don't love and I don't think that Leah was an unlovable person
There's nothing in there. It says she was bad or a bad person. She was just you know, he not attractive
He wasn't attracted to her whatever
It's not who we wanted right whatever beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I get it. Okay?
But if we're married to somebody that we don't love, you know, we're not going to treat them the way we should it's just a fact
You know, sometimes my wife will get after me a little bit because I I can't when she started coming around and you know
I kind of played hard to get if you can believe it
And I didn't even have a lot of options
In fact, you know, but that was a part of the reason why because I wanted to make sure I wasn't just marrying somebody for their principles
I
Wasn't just gonna marry somebody because we both believe the Bible now look you should marry somebody that believes the Bible
I'll say that again. You should marry somebody that believes the Bible. That's a good place to pipe up say amen right there guys
Because that's important be not only equally yoked with unbelievers
Okay, I don't care how good-looking she is how good-looking he is if they don't believe the Bible if they don't love God
You should go running and screaming in the other direction unless you don't love God or and you don't believe the Bible then maybe two
Or maybe it's a match made in hell
right
But you should you know marry people not just for the principles yeah great she's saved she's a Christian
She's in church three times a week. She's got the standard. She believes all the right things about, you know childbearing and staying home
She's she believes it. She's gonna practice it. She's sincere great. Do you love her?
I
Think she's cute
You know my pastor before he married us. I remember he took me in the office
He sat me down and said can you live without her?
And of course I could live without it, but I didn't want to
Right. It's not like I was gonna you know, it's not like lay it lest I die
You know what? I mean like obviously yeah life's gonna go on but I didn't like the idea of life without her and
He kind of asked me that because he wanted to make sure I do you really love this person
You know, and that's advice I've you know, the people if you can live without them do it
Because you might find yourself wishing you had at some point if you marry the wrong person
It's true
Look there's people that get married and they end up hating each other
They end up they end up hating each other more than they hate anybody else on the planet
It happens all the time folks marriage is a serious thing
It's important and it should not be taken lightly
Okay, it's a it's a very important relationship. It's the most important relationship. You're gonna have outside of Christ
Okay, your relationship with God is a relationship with your spouse
So make sure you go about it correctly
Marry for love. Okay, great. She checks all the boxes great. He checks all the boxes great. Do you love them?
Are you gonna be able to to look that person in the face for the rest of your life?
Do they get you right that's how I knew
my sister told me one time you'll she's like you got to find somebody who can handle how weird you are and
Then my wife came along right and I knew her older brother for like years before I didn't even know it was her brother
It's like oh, that's your brother and we got along and you know
It made sense, right? I was like he's kind of weird. I'm kind of weird. You know, I the humor was there
Why it was a good fit
right
You get you great they check the boxes great they're in church great they're saved great
They're new IFB independent fundamental soul winning fireman. They hate the fag all this stuff
You know, they're just blah blah blah. Yeah, but do you love them? Can you stand being around them?
Can you can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with that person?
That's a you know, you got to ask that's what that's what you're signing up for a marriage
Okay, because divorce is not an option and if you think it is don't get married because it that's probably what will happen
The first sign of struggle the first time things get rough the first time, you know, you think you married the wrong person
You're out you're gone or they are
So take it seriously marry somebody you love look at the story tonight
What else do you want me to preach tonight? I mean what else am I supposed to preach out of the story?
That's what's going on
Leah's, you know being ignored. Leah's having to hire her own husband. She's the first wife
You know, she seems like you know, that's where it should have ended you got tricked tough, you know
Maybe you should have talked to her on the honeymoon. I don't know
You know that that part of stories boggles my mind's like how does he not find out till the morning
You know, you know, thank God for indoor lighting I guess
But you know that that's what's happened, you know, that's who you're stuck with oh
Just have another wife, you know the and then someone gets ignored you marry the person you don't love you marry the person
Not a bad person, but you don't want to be around them
Maybe they check all the boxes, but they're your personalities don't mesh
Well, it's gonna be a long life
so take it seriously and
Don't get tricked in a marriage like like Jacob did
Don't let other people trick you in a marriage. I
Know people like this their pastors will come to them and say oh, it's God's will for you two to get married
Can't you see it?
divorced today
those same two people
Because they just listen to somebody else. Oh, well, my pastor said it was God's will for me to marry that person
And then they're both going why did God let us get married. We hate each other
Because you let somebody else tell you
You know what God's will is for you
And you know, that's another thing that that's a whole nother sermon right there
You know people get so worked up about God's will like there's one specific person. You must marry
You're the problem with that is is like what if what if you get convinced later that you married that you missed out on God's
Will they're like you got it wrong
Then things get weird trust me I could tell you stories where people are like
Well, it was never God's will for me to get married to this person
So maybe I should just get divorced to go get married to another person
Or maybe it's okay for me to go commit adultery on that person
Right
Don't fall for this whole thing about all there's only one specific your soulmate. It's a bunch of hogwash. Okay?
Are you a man? Are you a woman? Okay, it's gonna work
Okay
Believe me physically you're compatible
You know, don't fall for this other thing. Well, I got it. I got a trial the milk before by the cow
Right. No, that's wrong. Milk's milk my friend
Okay, I get some of its 2%
Whatever
Okay, milk's milk. Well, I got to see if we're physically compatible
You'll figure that out on your wedding night pretty quick that you are okay
You see if you're compatible, you know as a person and you know personality wise
right
Marry for love make sure yeah, they got all that. They check all the boxes great
You know and and maybe and hopefully this person will be thinking the same thing whoever it is
You're gonna marry they're gonna marry for love. So maybe that would can you know cause you to be a more lovable person?
right
That's how that would work
Don't get tricked in a marriage by others. It doesn't matter how well they're gonna fit in with the family
It doesn't matter how well the family likes them
Because I got here's news for you when you get married. It's a new family. You're your own family now
I mean, it's great when in-laws can get along
You know, I've got a great mother-in-law lover
Wasn't as good as my wife's mother-in-law
You
Guys could think about that get back to me later, right
Cuz that's my mother. Okay, I wouldn't want to disrespect her, right?
But you know, it's great when in-laws going is that but there's that like a necessity my mold the in-laws have to get along
Says who what does it matter? It's great if it works out that way
But you know if that would you be more concerned like do you actually love this person?
Do you want to spend the rest of your life with this person?
Does the idea of not having them in your life?
Is that bother you or does that something you can be like I'm okay with that then that's probably not the person for you
So, you know that's I'm just preaching through the chapter tonight folks, I mean there's so much here
It's so many, you know, we just read these little facts about these stories
But there's so much going on with the dynamics there with Leia and Rachel and Jacob and the whole situation
However, and there's things that we can learn from this
Then of course, you know the latter half of the story is where you have the whole thing playing out with
with
Laban his his father-in-law I
Don't know if we're gonna have time to get through all of it tonight
Let's let's try to get through it quickly though because I don't I don't think that there's a whole lot
I think we all know this the story here, but basically, you know after Rachel has Joseph
Then it comes to pass verse 25
That Jacob says unto Laban his father-in-law send me away. Give me that I may go into my own place in my own country
Just ties in right with the point. I just got done making that in-laws are an afterthought when it comes to your marriage, okay?
He's like cuz he's gonna go do his own thing, right
He's gonna go live and start his own family and go be his own thing. He doesn't have to have Laban constantly in the picture
Give me my wives and my children for I have served thee and let me go for thou knowest my service
Which I have done unto thee and Laban said unto him. I pray thee if I found favor in that eyes
Terry for I have learned by experience that the Lord hath blessed me for thy sake
So Jacob saying let me go. I want to take what's mine and leave and Laban saying no, no, no, don't go
I need you to stay here because you being here has made me incredibly wealthy, right?
I have learned by experience that our Lord hath blessed me for thy sake
right and
What we can learn from this is that it pays to be a profitable employee
Because that's what Jacob is and he gets into it next week
He explains all the stuff he put up with all these years that he's been serving Laban, but he's been faithful
He's been steady God's been blessing him Laban recognizes it and he doesn't want to lose him
Is he worried about him taking his two daughters away and his grandchildren?
No
Laban wants him to stay because he wants the sheep and the goats and the herds to continue to grow
That's what he's got. He sees Jacob is just to change change change change. He's just hearing the register
That's what's going on here
Which you know tells you a little bit about Laban, okay?
But you know, it's also the lesson we can learn is if you don't want to be somebody that's let go at work
Then you better be somebody that's worth keeping around
Right because things get lean, right
Things, you know economy shrinks people start getting laid off
you know, they sit, you know, the the higher up sit down with a list of names and
It's no longer. Whoever has a pulse that can stay
It's like who's actually bringing something to the company who is actually contributing
To the profitability of this company. Who can we not afford to let go or lose?
You know, not everyone makes that list
The guy that just you know is late to work first hit last one there first one to leave
Complains when he's there
You know takes long breaks
You know doesn't get anything done. It's constantly making mistakes
Back talks his supervisor back talks about talks smack about, you know, the boss behind his back
That's that's the guy that's like, all right. Well, we don't need him
Because we can find you know, some jerk with the pulse anytime
There's a line around the block and when things get better then we'll go find another one of those
but we need the guy that's
diligent the guy that's puts up with things the guy that works hard the guy that's out there as
Jacob goes on explains the next chapter in the frost in the heat in the day in the night
Working hard being diligent, right? That's that's who you want to be
You know and that and you'll get a sense of that how important that is when you're married and have kids
Just trust me. It's important. Okay, and
He wants him to stay because he wants the blessing to continue
And of course they had this argument where he says, you know appointing my wages and I will give it
And he said I'm down. Oh us. I have served thee how that cattle was with me and
And he's just asking him to be let go to be able to go and do his thing
But you know, I probably have to finish the rest of this up on Sunday night just because I'm there's just there's just too much
Here. I don't want to gloss over there. I think this is like a whole nother
Lesson that we can learn out of the story, but it was important to take the time to talk about this dynamic in the beginning
Now maybe you're a single guy here a single girl that you know, this isn't making you know
You say what do I get out of this? Well, like hopefully you don't stay like that forever
You know one day hopefully you're gonna find somebody that can actually put up with you
Right like I did, you know who can handle how weird you are as it was told me, right?
And you know, you'll you'll know what to look for in that person, right?
you'll find somebody that you love someone you want to be with and
Then you'll learn some things tonight about what it takes to make a marriage work
You know a little and I know we didn't go into great depth
But you know, we covered a couple things men need to dwell with their wives not just treat them like they're you know
Just another burden to be born
That they're just another, you know
Responsibility in life, you know, they're supposed to be our companions our friends
You know, it's it's great to have that in your life
And of course marriage is where that physical relationship is supposed to be met and we should never
Withhold that from our spouses because that creates all kinds of problems that you don't want to deal with. Okay?
And you know when you get married make sure you marry for love marry up somebody you want to be with
And that's you know, that's the number one thing but you know as we got into a little bit too
You know when it comes to being a hard worker, you know, that's what's gonna make you valuable. Let's go ahead close the word prayer