Amen. 1 Timothy 3. The Bible reads there in verse 14,
These things I write unto thee, hoping to come unto thee shortly.
But if I tear thee long, that thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself
in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and the ground of the
truth. The sermon I want to preach comes from those verses there, that thou mayest know how
thou oughtest to behave thyself in the church of God. I want to preach a sermon this morning about
expectations of behavior. There should be a certain level of behavior that we as Christians
uphold. It's not too much to ask that we as Christians have a certain standard or a certain
level of behavior. There are certain things that we do. There are certain ways that we conduct
ourselves because of the fact that we are Christians. We are God's children. We should try
to have a reputation as above reproach. I'm going to preach some things that maybe
at the end here get a little personal. I might step on some toes a little bit.
This isn't one of those sermons I really enjoy preaching, but it's one of those things I think
that I have to make myself preach. I've always tried so far, and I've reminded myself that I
don't want to be a nitpicky person. I want to be one of those people that nitpicks about things in
the ministry because we're all humans. We all are subject to human nature.
You learn a lot about human nature being in the ministry because you're dealing with so many
people. If you have a job where you're dealing with a lot of people, where your job is directly
with people, you're going to notice a lot of things about people. Not to say that it's bad
or anything, but there are certain habits or certain things that we just do as human beings.
There are certain things that we do that maybe we could be better at. There are certain behaviors
that maybe we should check and make sure that it's right. Again, I don't want to be nitpicky
because that's going to make the ministry a very long, arduous process for me. I'm just going to
sit here and be a critical person and pick apart every little thing that people do, and vice versa.
If you sit there and every time you come to church you're saying, it's the same blue shirt,
it's the same tie, he's looking a little shaggy, doesn't he have time to shave his neck?
Which I've been pretty good about lately. You can start nitpicking me.
It's going to make both of our Christian lives a very long thing. It's going to make us this
drudgery. I don't want to get too far ahead of myself, but try not to be nitpicky. I'm saying
that because I have to force myself to preach these things. I was reminded that some of these
things you have to talk about from the pulpit. Sometimes you've just got to have that family
meeting with the church. Sometimes you've all got to get together and just kind of address a
few things. Not a big deal and just talk about things. Why? Because there are certain expectations
of behavior that we have in the house of God. There's an expectation specifically in the house
of God. That's what he's saying here. That's what he says. These things write I unto thee.
What's the purpose of Paul writing these things? Everything that's come up in chapters 1, 2,
and 3, and the Scriptures as a whole. These things I write unto thee that thou mayest know
how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the church of God. So, there is a way that we ought to behave
ourselves in the house of God. The church isn't just a fun house. It isn't a clubhouse. It's not
just some place where we just come hang out. I'm all for the fellowship. I'm all for that,
having a good time at church. It's where the preaching of the Word of God takes place. It's
where we come together and we get together. We formulate a plan. We go out, and we try to win
the loss. It's very serious work. It's a very grave thing, and that's one of the qualifications
for the bishop and the deacon is that they be grave, that they be sober. Even their wives
are to be serious people. That doesn't mean I have to walk around and never smile, never joke,
but when it's time to be serious, it's time to be serious. There are certain things that we
can't just let slide. Sometimes, somebody has to just draw attention to some things and say,
hey, we need to deal with this, and just make sure that we're meeting a certain expectation
of behavior. That's what 1 Timothy 3 is written about. Of course, in the context,
he's talking about these things are what? The things that he taught are that there's no other
doctrine that is taught, that they teach no other doctrine, neither give heed to fables, endless
genealogies, and so on and so forth. That chapter 2, that prayer be made for all men, that Christ is
the Savior of all men, and that we should pray for all men, that we might live a quiet and
peaceable life. These are the things that he's talking about. These are the things that should
be taking place in our Christian lives. These are the things that we should expect and how
this is the expectation of behavior in the house of God. The teaching of no other doctrine. The
prayer for all men. It gets into chapter 2 at the end there, the woman's adorning and the fact that
she's being subjection. That's not going to fly in a lot of churches today, but that is what Paul
wrote in 1 Timothy. That is the expectation of behavior that is put upon men, women, and so on
and so forth. The qualifications for the bishops and deacons. I can't just approach those and just
say, well, you know, it was a different culture back then with Paul. No, that's the Word of God,
and I have to meet those qualifications. We're all given these expectations of behavior.
It applies to every one of us, so there is an expectation of behavior within the church of God.
If you would, I'm going to have you turn into several places this morning. Just try,
you know, I don't know where I'll have you go because we go, but just keep up with me. Go to
1 Corinthians chapter 11. 1 Corinthians chapter 11. There are expectations for behavior in the
church of God. That's not some far out thing. That's not something I just made up. That's
something that's found in Scripture. We could talk about, you're going to 1 Corinthians 11.
How about 1 Corinthians 5 where it talks about how we are not to keep company with any man that
is called a brother, you know, someone who comes to church, not just some guy who walked in the
first service here. We got to grill him to find out if he's any of these things if he's allowed
to come back next week. I'm saying somebody that's been coming, someone that's known as a brother,
that's saved, that is participating in ministry, that is a fixture, you know, that is somebody in
the house of God that it's just, you know, we're going to see them again. We know that they're
going to be there week by week. We call this person a brother. You know, you're not going
to consider the, you know, the guy, you know, who first shows up a brother, right? Now he very well
may be a brother. You know, he's saved. He's a brother in Christ. You know, that's a term that
we kind of start to use with people when we become familiar with them, isn't it? When we start to
call them brother, it's because, you know, they're part of the body here. You know, they're part of
the membership here. They attend church here on a, you know, on a regular basis, and it says that,
you know, that we are not to call, if any man be called a brother, that we're not to have company
with any man that be called a brother if you be a fornicator or covetous or an idolater or a railer
or drunkard or extortioner with such a one know not to eat. What is that? That's an expectation
of behavior in the house of God, isn't it? Saying, hey, if you're going to come to church, you can't,
there's certain behaviors you cannot participate in. You cannot be a fornicator. You can't be
covetous. You know, and I understand we all deal with covetous to a certain degree, right? But he's
talking about somebody who's just whole motive in life is making money. All they talk about is
money. All they want is money, money, money, money, and they make other people, you know,
discontent with the things that they have. You know, that's a whole other sermon. Idolaters.
You know, we can't have people come in here and say, hey, where can we set up, you know,
the Mary statue in your church? It's not going to happen. All right. I'll tell you, it's there. I'll
tell you right where you can put her. There's a, if you go around the corner, there's a big green
bin over there. It's called the trash can, and you can just give her a good old chuck. You know,
you can just throw Mary right in there. That was for free. But then, you know, no drunkards. You
know, we're going to have the hot dogs and everything here. I'm going to go buy some
drinks. They're all going to be non-alcoholic. You know, we can't have people coming in here
being a drunk. You know, if it's a brother or an extortioner, which I've never seen. I don't think.
Maybe I have. I don't know. That's pretty severe. If you're coming to church and blackmailing people,
you know, we're going to have an issue with that. All right. So, and these are, I mean,
this is a pretty, I don't want to say this is a low standard, right, but this is, this is a
standard, and it seems like this is, you know, pretty easy to meet, isn't it? You know, like,
oh, if I got to go to church here, I got to quit being a fornicator and a drunk and all these other
things. Like, yeah, those things are good for you to not be, you know. And why is that? Because a
little leaven leaveneth the whole lump, and he says to cast out the leaven that you may be a new lump,
right? When we let sin in, you know, and when sin creeps in and it's tolerated,
it spreads to everybody else. You know, and when certain behaviors creep into a church,
even if they're not sinful and they go unchecked, you know, that kind of becomes the culture of the
church. That kind of becomes the, you know, the feeling that the church gets. That's just kind of
the atmosphere, if you know what I'm saying. So we have to keep certain expectations within church
beyond just this. I'm just using this as a proof text to show you that there are expectations for
in the house of God, okay? The expectation of, you know, behavior in the church. How about the
expectation concerning, you know, a person's personal appearance? A person's personal
appearance. Look at 1 Corinthians 11 verse 5. But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her
head uncovered dishonoreth her head, for that is even all one as if she were shaven. So this isn't
about putting on, you know, women are supposed to wear hats to the church, okay? Because if you let
them do that, they'll go crazy with it. You've seen those, you know, like they got the Sunday
hat where it's just like they take up three seats, you know? They got to clear the door
when they come in, right? That's not what it's talking about, right? That would be immodest,
okay? That's again another. So he's talking about, hey, she should not, what, shave her head.
She should not have short hair. That's what the Bible says, you know? And people aren't going to
like that, but you know what? Go ahead and not like it. That's what the Bible says. You know,
if she's going to be covered, if she's not going to be covered, you know, her hair is
given to her covering, then she should also be shortened. And I'm not going to dive into all
this. I'm just pointing out the fact that the Bible, you know, over and over again,
has expectations of behavior for us when it comes to in the house of God, our personal lives even,
or you know, even our something as simple as our appearance. You know, the Bible has certain
expectations of behavior. You know, it even has it for the men. Look at verse 14. Doth not even
nature itself teach you that if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him, right? And that's
a hypothetical question, right? Sometimes they'll say, well, that's, you know, you might, you know,
confront a guy about this and say, hey, the Bible says, does not even nature itself teach you? He'll
say, no, it doesn't, right? Well, that's not what he's not. He's not leaving it open. It's not an
open-ended question. He's saying like, you know, nature itself teaches you that it's a shame for
men to have long hair. And anyone who's honest knows that's the case, right? Look at verse 15.
But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her, for her hair is given her for a covering.
So I'm not going to get into all that about, you know, specifics of this. That's the point
of the sermon. The point of the sermon is this, is that the Bible teaches us that there's
expectations for behavior when it comes to in the church, when it comes to even our own, you know,
our appearance. How about expectations concerning our attitude? You know, that's something that's
in Scripture. Here in 1 Corinthians, go over to 1 Corinthians chapter number 13, 1 Corinthians 13.
We should have a certain attitude towards other people, shouldn't we?
Here's the thing. Sometimes people get this attitude of, well, you know, I'll be real
nice to people that I go to church with, but everybody else, you know, they can go to hell.
I'll treat them however I want. That's not right. That's what the Bible teaches. The
Bible says in 1 Peter, you're going to 1 Corinthians 13, it says in 1 Peter,
honor all men. Honor all men. You know, all men, you know, we should have some level of respect.
We should treat, you know, a certain level of dignity, a certain level of courteousness.
That should be there. It says honor all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king.
There's a verse for you on the 4th of July. Honor the king, right? 1 Corinthians chapter 13.
Look at verse 4. Charity, you know, which is a word for love, charity suffereth long and is kind.
Charity envieth not. Charity vonteth not itself, is not puffed up. Deth not what? Behave itself
unseemly. It doesn't do that which is unseemly. It behaves itself properly. It seeks not her own.
It is not easily provoked. You know, it doesn't, you know, a person who has charity in their heart
and loves their fellow man isn't just going to fly off the handle over every little thing.
You know, we were reading 1 Timothy chapter 3. What was the qualification there?
That a bishop must be patient. You know, the servant of the Lord, the Bible says,
must not strive but be patient toward all men. You know, that's a qualification that's given,
you know, for the bishop, but you know what? That's because the bishop is to serve as an
example to the flock. You know, and we should understand that there's an expectation of behavior
concerning our attitude. We should not behave ourselves unseemly. We should not be easily
provoked. Thinketh no evil. You know, think how we're going to get that guy back or, you know,
whatever. You know what I'm talking about. I want to go back to my old hobby horse about road rage,
but I'm not going to. Rejoiceeth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth. Beareth all things,
believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. What's he talking about in 1 Corinthians
13? He's talking about your attitude. He's talking about having a charitable attitude.
You know, and you can read that and apply it as you want. You know, that's really another sermon.
Again, I'm just making the case this morning before I get into the nitty-gritty here towards
the end about the fact that the Bible does teach that there are certain expectations of behavior,
whether that be towards all men, whether that be, you know, concerning our appearance,
whether that be in the church. There is an expectation of behavior. How about the expectation
of behavior regarding some of our more personal relationships? You know, the Bible says honor all
men. You know, that's kind of a general, you know, commandment. That's just kind of speaking
and generally, you know, we should treat people well and kindly. We should not bring reproach upon
the name of Christ and have people say, every Christian I've ever met is a jerk. You know,
that's, you know, you could apply this out soul-winning. This is why I think it's very
important when you're out soul-winning to be a very courteous and kind people, even to people
who do not respond in kind, who are not that way towards you. Even the rude, short, curt jerk who
wants to just, you know, take advantage of the opportunity and treat you like dirt because you
came to their door with a Bible in their hand, you know, or cuss you out in a language you don't
understand, which I've experienced, right? We should not, we should always walk away,
you know, courteously, you know, and say, hey, sorry to disturb you and leave, you know,
a good impression with them, right? And not just say, well, if they're going to act like that,
then I'm going to act, you know, right back at you. You know, that's, you know, I'm rubber,
you're glue, whatever you say, bounce, let me stick to you. That's not the way we should be.
You know, this isn't a schoolyard, okay? This is a spiritual battlefield. You know, we're going out
to win people to Christ. We don't want to just give people this idea that we're all just a bunch
of jerks, okay? So, you know, that's generally speaking the expectation concerning your attitude,
but how about in more personal relationships, okay? Like, how about the relationship concerning
work, okay? Go over to Colossians chapter three, Colossians chapter three. Colossians chapter
number three, we're going to look at Colossians three several times here in the next few minutes,
so if you want to just keep something there, I might have you go elsewhere, but go to Colossians
three for now and keep something there. You know, we need to understand that there's an expectation
concerning our behavior when it comes to our personal relationships. You know, perhaps,
you know, a good example of this is when you're at work. You know, you should be careful about
how you treat your fellow employees. You should be careful about how you treat the boss, okay?
Colossians chapter three, look at verse 22. It says, servant, obey in all things your masters
according to the flesh. Now, who are your masters according to the flesh? That's talking about your
employer, the person who you are employed by. That is, you know, another term for that master
in the flesh. We understand that we have one master, a spiritual head, which is Christ,
right? But the fact is that while we're on this earth, we also have masters after the flesh. These
would be people that have some level of authority over us on this earth, okay? And, you know, he
says to obey them in all things according to the flesh, you know, and it's to servants, to employees,
not with eye service. So he's not just saying, you know, whatever the boss says,
you know. Obviously, whenever an authority in our life tells us to, you know,
we always appeal to the higher authority, right? If the boss wants us to do something sinful,
I'm sorry, I obey the higher authority, my parents, God, you know, the church, the pastor,
whoever. You know, if somebody's trying to talk us into doing something that would be something
sinful, we should always appeal to the ultimate authority, which is God. But he says, your servants
obey in all things your masters. Now, what he's talking about, he gets real specific, not with eye
service as men pleasers, but in singleness of heart, fearing God. You know, if the boss is
telling you, commanding you to do something work-related, you do it. You know, if he says,
hey, get this done, you go do it. Now, if he tells you to go shake an aerosol can until it
quits rattling, he's messing with you, okay? Because that's called a joke, right? But you
know what? You'd probably be that guy. Well, that's what he said. You'd be out there just
shaking that can, right? But he's saying, look, not to obey them in all things, not with eye
service. You know, I'm not just going to be the guy that gets busy whenever the boss comes around.
You know, the boss comes around, and now it's time for me to start, you know, working hard, okay? And
look, guys that don't understand this do not excel at their job, because employers, you know,
this is why managers exist, because they have to employ managers to make sure other people work.
That's what a manager's job is, to manage other people, to make sure they show up on work on time,
that work a full shift, that they weren't slacking, that they, you know, had a good attitude. That's
what managers do. You know, they do other things too, but that's a big part of their job, because,
you know, there's something about human nature whenever, you know, whenever the cat's away,
the mice will play, as the saying goes, right? But that should not be said about us. You know,
the expectation of our behavior when it comes to our work is that we don't need somebody standing
over us like a taskmaster, you know, beating the drum, cracking the whip, making sure we're doing
what we're supposed to do. You know, and you can apply this with kids. You know, children at home,
you know, if you want to get on your parents' good side, you know, obey them in all things,
and not just with eye service. Oh, mom and dad are around, let me just start behaving correctly.
You know, we all, you know, oh mom, mom and dad, they're coming home, quick, let's do all the chores
we're supposed to do over the last eight hours while they were gone. You know, let's get them
done. They're on their way, they'll be here in 20 minutes. Let's do the dishes back on the floor,
you know, do all these things that we had all day to do, right? That's called eye service.
You know, you should have just done those things immediately, you know, and then you could relax
when they came home. It wouldn't be a stressful thing, right? So he's saying here, look, you should
not, you should be, obey them in all things, not with eye service as men pleasers. You know,
that's what these guys do. Oh, the boss is here, let me show him how hard I work. You see me, boss?
You see how hard I'm digging? Then he's gone, and it's like, well, let me just leave that shovel,
you know, and we've all known people like this. He says, in singleness of heart, fearing God,
and whatsoever you do, do it heartily as to Lord. This is the expectation of our behavior when it
comes to work, to do whatever we do heartily as unto God. You know, if you went to work or
you were at home and you had this attitude that everything I was doing was as unto the Lord,
you know, you wouldn't, this would just all fall into place. You would be obedient. You wouldn't
be, you wouldn't do things with eye service. You would say, you would understand that the eyes of
the Lord are in every place beholding the evil and the good. That, and then that would just,
you know, make you want to work. You would constantly, you would be doing everything
heartily as to the Lord and not unto men. You know, if you're only going to do things as unto
men, then you're only going to care when men are watching. That's the only time, you know,
whenever men are going to notice whether or not I'm working hard. If you do it unto the Lord,
you're not going to care if anybody notices or not. Knowing that ye are, knowing that of the Lord,
ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance, for ye serve the Lord Christ, that he that doeth
wrong shall receive for the law in which he hath done. And that's important to understand
because sometimes he's, I've known people go to work and they want, and they're bad employees.
They're Christians. They're saved and they go to work and they're bad employees. And when the boss
fires them or when the boss comes down on them, they want to act like it's persecution. I'm being
persecuted because I'm a Christian. It's like, no, it's because you're a bad employee. You know,
being a Christian does not make you a good employee. Now being a Christian should make
you want to be a good employee. That's what he's saying here. That is the expectation of
behavior, but don't think that that's just automatic. That's something you have to work on.
That's something you have to make happen. And he's saying, look, if you understand this,
verse 25, he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done. You know, if you go
to work and you're a bad employee, don't be surprised if your pay gets docked. Don't be
surprised if you get sent home early. Don't be surprised if you get fired. Okay. Why? Because
there is no respect of persons of God, or excuse me, there is no respect of persons. That's what
it says there in the end. Right? He's saying, look, if God's going to reward you according
to your work, if you're a bad employee, if you don't do things heartily, if you do things with
eye service, if you're just a man pleaser, don't be surprised when your attitude, you know, comes
back around on you. Okay. The Bible says, go over to, you're still in Colossians three, right?
The Bible says, servants, be subject to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and
the gentle, but also to the forward. You know, we should say, well, I'd be good to my boss if
he were good to me. You know, I'd work harder if they pay me more. You got, I've literally heard
people say that. And I've heard other people telling me they've heard other people say,
apparently this is some kind of an attitude that's out there. I'll work harder when they
pay me more. Well, just prepare, be prepared to never make more money. Because do you think
that's how the employer thinks? You know how to pay that guy? I'm going to pay that guy more so
he'll work harder. That's not how it works. That makes no sense. You get paid more when you work
harder. You know, when you're the first one in, last one to go, and you're willing to do the
overtime, when you're willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done, when you're the guy
who comes with answers, not problems, who comes up with solutions, you know, and you, when you put
forth a sincere effort to make the company money, you make money in return. Why? Because that's,
there's an expectation of behavior, even from your employer. The employer has an expectation
of behavior from you. They have an idea of what a good employee is and what a good employee isn't.
And if we could figure out what a good employee is, which is what Colossians 3 is telling us,
then we will succeed. But even if we don't, even if we're a good worker, we're diligent,
we do everything heartily, it's unto the Lord, you know, and we're just not appreciated work,
you know what, we still, we're doing it unto the Lord, and you know what, there's a reward with God.
He is not forgetful to forget our, He's not, He will not forget our labor and work of faith. You
know, He will reward us. So that's one area. We're talking about expectations, behavior, you know,
in our personal relationships, such as at work. Well, what about this one? What about in marriage?
There's, you know, there's expectations of behavior within marriage. The Bible lays it out.
Colossians chapter 3 verse 18. This is not popular. Colossians 3 18, wives submit unto
your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord. You know, that, the Bible is not a feminist book,
you know, sorry. I'm not sorry, actually, right? And if you don't like that, well, tough,
you know what I mean? And I'm telling you something, there's people out there, ladies,
that do not like this. I've yet to meet a man who doesn't like it, right? There's probably a guy who
would, you know, some liberal, you know, soy boy that would try to, you know, make himself out to
be some, you know, bleeding heart for the women and say, oh yeah, it's so oppressive, you know,
you know, try and impress somebody. But, you know, most guys probably appreciate that,
that God put that in there. Repeatedly, by the way, we're going to look at it. But it says,
wives submit unto your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord. You know, and I've known,
I've heard pastors get up and say, I preached that. I preached, you know, Colossians 3,
1 Peter 3, Ephesians 5, and I've had women come up to me after the church, and she said,
look what I did, and she took her Bible, and she took a black marker, and she just went,
right over that. Literally, I'm not even, like you said, she walked up, and she said,
look what I did there. I just took, I didn't like that, so I just took this sharpie, and it went,
well, shame on you. You know, shame on you for despising the Word of God.
Colossians chapter, and I bet she's got a great marriage, by the way. I bet her husband is just
a very happy guy, right? Yeah, right. I was laying the sarcasm on thick there, hopefully picked up
on it. Colossians chapter 3, verse 18, wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as it
is fit in the Lord. Now, it's fit in the Lord. What is this? This is an expectation of behavior
for wives, and that is that they are to submit themselves unto their own husbands as it is fit
in the Lord. They say, well, that's not what the university taught me. You know, that's not what
my mother taught me. It's not what my grandmother taught me. My aunts never taught me that.
I was watching. That's not what Hollywood taught me. Yeah, but it's as fit in the Lord.
If you want to please all of them, go ahead. Go ahead, and don't be submissive to your own
husband. Try to rule the roost and everything else, and go against the grain, and fight him
on everything, but you know what? The Lord's not pleased, and you know what? You might please all
your girlfriends. You might please all the other ladies in your life. You might please all these
other people, but you're not going to please God, because this is what the Bible says. It is fit
in the Lord. It's an expectation of behavior that wives should submit unto their own husbands.
Well, that's not very nice. Well, that's why it says in verse 19, husbands love your wives.
Husbands love your wives, and be not bitter against them. You know, husbands should be
forgiving. They should harbor grudges. They should let things go, and they should be patient and kind,
and you know, they should not, you know, they're the head. They're the authority. You know,
that's what the Bible's teaching here, but it doesn't mean that they have to be this, you know,
this, you know, vindictive dictator. It was just a self-serving, selfish individual. You know,
because wives are to be submissive unto their husbands, husbands, you know, this is their
expectation of behavior, that they should honor their wives, and they should, you know, love them
as unto what? The weaker vessel, right? And that they should love their wives, and be not bitter.
They should be a selfless leader, right? They should lead as a servant. You know,
and this is a whole other sermon. I'm just trying to make the point again, and again, and again,
that the Bible teaches over, and over, and over again, that there are expectations for behavior
in the church, about our appearance, about our attitude, about our roles at work, about our
roles within the home. Keep something, Colossians 3, go over to Ephesians chapter 5. I'm going to
park it on this point in a minute, because this is something that needs to get drilled home
today in 2021 America. You know, in this modern world that we're living in, where it's just,
you go girl, you know, you just go be a CEO, go be a lawyer, be a doctor. You know what? Go ahead
and be all those things. Go ahead, put on the power suit, you know, walk up and down the halls,
and be the boss, and boss people around. That's what you want, but just understand it's not
pleasing the Lord, okay? That's available, but if you want to be somebody who pleases God,
if you want to meet that expectation of behavior, this is what it is, okay? The Bible says,
you're going to Ephesians 5, it says in 1 Peter 3, likewise ye wives, be in subjection to your
own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they may also without the word be won by the
conversation of the wives. What he's talking about, a saved lady, right? A saved woman
who's married to an unsaved man. You know, her conversation can win her husband. What's the
problem about her conversation? Not the way she's going to tell him off, you know, the conversation.
Conversation is like conduct, the way you carry yourself, the way you behave, right? He's saying,
look, you can win your husband, thou saved wife, you can win your unsaved husband by the way you
behave. By what? By being in subjection to your husbands. That if any obey not the word, right,
they may be won by without the word. While they what? Behold your chaste conversation coupled with
fear, who's adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of plating of the hair, and of wearing
of gold, or of putting on of apparel. He's saying it's not the outward man that you need to adorn
if you want to, you know, win that husband. You know, he should be, you know, beholding your
conversation, and then you're not just about spending all his money so you can have another
pair of shoes or whatever, right? He's saying you're going to be somebody who's chaste conversation
coupled with fear. What is this? It's the expectation of behavior from the word of God for wives
and husbands. We looked at that too. Look at Ephesians chapter 5 verse 22.
Wives, submit yourselves under your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of
the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he's the savior of the body.
So, you know, I'm going to park it here for a minute because it's important to understand this.
How much is the husband the ruler of the home? How much authority does he have over the wife?
Complete authority. A hundred percent. So how do you know that? Because it says,
even as Christ is the head of the church. He says that the husband is the head of the wife,
even as Christ is the head of the church. How much is Christ the head of this church?
A hundred percent. Now, you know, obviously there's an under shepherd. There's somebody
that's appointed to preside over the services to guide and direct things, but it's all,
you know, as I see fit according to the word of God. Making sure that we're lining up with
what the Bible says. Making sure we're doing things biblically according to the, you know,
the mandate that Christ has given us in the word of God. That's, you know, that's the leadership
here, right? But the point I'm trying to make here is this, is that a wife should be as much
submitted to her husband as the church is to Christ. Meaning this, like, what would we do
here where we'd say, well, I know that's what Jesus said, but you know what? We kind of want
to have it our own way. We're going to share authority in this area. You know, we're going to
go ahead and let the ladies do the preaching, even though the Bible says not to do that.
We're going to go ahead and get a different Bible, even though the Bible says that this is the
preserved word of God for English speaking people. You know, we're going to stop soul winning,
even though Jesus commanded that we go into all the world. Well, you know, I know that's what
He said, but we just have a different way of looking. We just do things a little differently
here. That we're not in subjection to Christ. Period. You know, and if a wife is going to
fight her husband and resist her husband and say, well, I know that's what He wants done,
but I'm going to do it my way, then you're not in subjection. Okay. Look at verse 24. Therefore,
as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
I mean, this is complete submission. This is complete obedience that He's talking about here.
That's how much the church is supposed to be subject unto Christ. He's saying,
even so should the wives be to their own husbands and everything. And then again, verse 25,
He always follows it up. And you know, the guys don't just sit back and go,
now I got it right where I want her. The Bible says that she's in the subjection. But what does
the Bible say in verse 25? Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church
and gave Himself for it. Yeah, the wife is to be subject unto the husband, even as the
church is subject unto Christ. But how did Christ treat the church? He gave Himself for it. He died
for it. He sacrificed. You know, He put the church first above Himself. And that's the way husbands
should love their wives. You know, not just, you know, I'm going to love my wife and get her a box
of chocolates on Valentine's Day. It's, you know, everything you're doing, you know, everything that
you're trying to do is for her benefit. You know, you're caring for the things of your wife that you
may please her, right? You're trying to love her, guide her, you know, give her the things that she
needs to do her job and things like that. We get that, okay? I don't want to turn this into the
whole sermon, but you know, just making the point that this doesn't give, you know, the husbands
the right to just be jerks. And look, if you married the jerk, I'm sorry, but you married the
jerk. You know, that's just, I'm sorry. That's the way it is. And you know, will I have to be
subject to Him even if He's not? Yeah, that's what the Bible says. That's what the Bible says, okay?
You know, again, you could win Him over. Maybe you could make Him a better person. Maybe you
can make Him want to fulfill His role that God has given Him by fulfilling your role, okay?
He says that He gave Himself for it, that He might sanctify and cleanse it by the washing
by the washing of water, by the word, that He might present it to Himself a glorious
church, not having spot nor wrinkle nor any such thing, but that it should be
holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives even as their own bodies.
He that loveth His wife loveth himself. You know, we should treat our wives just as good as we would
treat our own selves, okay? Nevertheless, it says in verse 33, let everyone in particular so love
his wife even as himself and see that the wife reverence her husband. You know, if husband and
wife would live up to these expectations of behavior within marriage, they'd have a wonderful
marriage. I'm not saying they have a perfect marriage. I'm not saying there would never be
bumps in the road, you know, wrinkles that need to be ironed out, but you know what? They'd have
a godly marriage that glorifies Christ is what they would have, okay? Now, how about another
personal relationship where there's an expectation of behavior is with children, okay? With children.
You know, we should have certain expectations of behavior with our children. Go over to Ephesians.
Keep something in Colossians 3. Actually, you know what? Yeah, go to Ephesians chapter 6. Keep
something in Colossians 3. We're talking about expectations of behavior. You know, we should have
certain expectations of behavior for our children. You ever known anybody that doesn't have
expectations of behavior for their children? You can see them a mile away. You can, oh,
I could say, well, that's right where their expectation of behavior is because, you know,
how the child behaves. You just look and say, well, let me see what this kid gets away with,
and then I can look at the parent and say, well, that's what they expect out of them.
Because here's the thing about kids. They'll do exactly what you train them to do.
You say, I can't believe you'd say that. You know what? People train your kids. People spend more,
put more effort into training horses and dogs than their own children, and it's a shame,
you know, because you're forming, you're molding, you know, people are going to become adults one
day. They're going to carry all those behaviors. They're going to carry all those attitudes,
all those things that they were taught as children right into adulthood, for better or worse.
So yeah, you should train up a child in the way in which he should go. And when he is old,
he will not depart from it. I mean, do we need to go to Proverbs and look at all the verses?
It talks about spanking your children, correcting them, you know, and all the instruction that's
given to a son in the book of Proverbs. You know, so there is an expectation for children
and their behavior. You know, that's not an outlandish thing to say. You know,
that's not something that's far out there. That's what the Bible teaches.
If people don't want to have expectations for their children because it's hard work
to have expectations for your children, to get certain types of behavior from your children,
isn't it? Because it doesn't come naturally. Trust me. You got to instill that in them.
Anyone who has kids who's tried to do this knows this is the case. You know, kids are taught,
no one has to teach a child how to do wrong, how to lie, how to cheat, how to steal,
how to misbehave, how to get out. That's sinful nature. What has to be instilled in them
is the correct behavior, meaning you have to have that expectation.
That's why when I see a kid who's just acting up, you know, consistently, and look, I know all kids
have bad days. No kid's perfect. You know, all kids, you know, they all have to be worked on
and so on and so forth, but when you see children who are just consistently, it's the same behavior
over and over, I just mark it down. I don't get mad at that kid. I say it's the parent who's at
fault because that's their expectation, you know, that they are going to let them get away with
whatever, okay? There's a certain threshold. Look at Ephesians chapter 6 verse 1. I love the way,
every time I read this, especially, you know, I always point this out because it's important
to understand. Children. Who's the Bible addressing here? It's addressing children.
It means all you kids that are, you know, busy fiddling with something or, you know,
not looking up here, you need to look up here right now, okay? All the kids in the room should
have their eyes on me because the Bible is addressing you, you know, and here's another
reason why, you know, this is proof that it's good to have children right here in the in the
auditorium with us, isn't it? Because you got Paul saying make sure you tell the kids. Because
remember that the epistles were to be read before the churches. He said make sure you send somebody
over to the junior church to remind the kids too. No, he said children. Just assuming all
the kids are going to be right there in the service with them. Children, obey your parents
in the Lord. You know, not a lot is put on kids in the Bible. It's really just that one thing,
but you know what? It's kind of a big ask, isn't it? Because your parents are going to ask a lot
of things, you know what I mean? They're going to have a lot of expectations of behavior,
and here's the thing, and I'm going to get into this in a minute, you know, I'm just making the
point in the sermon that there are expectations of behavior that are very clearly lined up.
Very specific expectations of behavior. I mean, good night when we're talking about
appearance, you know, length of hair, the way we dress, you know, roles in marriage. These are
very specific expectations, but Paul here, when he dresses the children, he just says obey your
parents in the Lord. Meaning this, that there is, you know, there's liberty there with that parent
and that child to say this is what I expect. He doesn't just say, you know, obey your parents,
and parents, here's what you should expect from them. Only these specific things,
you know, what flies in one household might not fly in another. One expectation of behavior in
one house might not be the expectation behavior in another house. Doesn't mean one's right,
one's wrong, it just means they're different, okay? So there is a little bit of wiggle room
there, okay? But it is saying to the children that whatever your parents, whatever rules they
put in place, obey. Not say, it doesn't say obey what you like. Obey when it's easy. Obey when it
goes along with what you agree is correct. It just says obey your parents in the Lord,
for this is right. Meaning this, that not obeying your parents is not right. It's sin, okay?
Chapter two, or excuse me, verse two, Ephesians six, honor thy father and mother. That sounds
familiar. Where else have I read that? Oh yeah, it's the fifth commandment. You know, it's number
five in the list of the ten commandments. You know, there's a lot of things that people might
do that are sins that aren't as bad as others, but when it's, when you're breaking one of the
ten commandments, when that's like when God calls Moses, Moses walks all the way up Mount Sinai
twice. He's up there fasting for days, weeks, over a month, 40 days. You know, God's there with
thunders and lightnings and thick clouds and black darkness and trumpets. I mean, it's just this
fearful sight and he's writing out ten commandments. If this is one of them, it's pretty serious.
God takes it very seriously, okay? Now, we might not think that, but it's in here. I mean,
that's one of the ten commandments. He says, honor thy father and mother, which is the first
commandment with promise. It's the fifth commandment, but it's the first one with what?
With promise. That if you will, what does it say there? Verse three, that it may be well with thee,
and that thou mayest live long on the earth. See, kids sometimes, they think that parents have rules
or expectations for behavior in the house just because they're ruthless dictators.
All my kids are just little slaves, you know? I just had you so I could get somebody to take
the trash out, right? I just had you so I could, somebody else could go get the mail for me,
right? That's why you had me. You just want someone to do all your dirty work
so you could do other things. Oh, like pay the bills? Your day's coming for that too,
by the way. But no, he's saying that it may be well with thee. If you obey your parents,
it's going to go well with who? With you. Now, it's going to go well with parents too,
isn't it? They're going to be happy. Everyone's getting along. Things are going to go well,
but this has a promise in it that it may be well with thee, meaning who's going to bless you?
That it may be well with thee and that thou mayest live long on the earth. Who's going to give you
long life? Your parents? No, God. God's going to see it and say, you know what? That person
obeyed their parents. They were obedient. I'm going to give them long life and it's going to
go well with them, right? So that's the promise. But what is this? This is an expectation of
behavior for children. And you know what? And he gives one for the fathers too, verse four.
And ye fathers provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and
admonition of the Lord. You know, fathers are to nurture their children. They're to admonish them
in the Lord, to teach them the Word of God, to teach them right from wrong, so on and so forth.
But he says there to not provoke them to wrath, to not provoke their children to wrath. What is
he saying here? I mean, we should have expectations for our children for their behavior, but they
should be reasonable. They should be ones that they can actually attain. You know, we've all
heard of the proverbial disgruntled son who was never good enough for dad. You know, everything I
did, you know, why couldn't you be more like your brother? Why, you know, whatever. You know, he just,
everything I did was never good enough. He's mad, right? He's provoked unto wrath because they have
this expectation of behavior that's unattainable. You know, we should not have unattainable
expectations of behavior. But here's the thing, you know, I don't think anyone in here is probably
guilty of that. You know, if anything, what I see more often is people have too low of a standard
for expectations of children. You know, when you hear a parent calling for their child's, like,
over and over and over and, like, for just over and over again, come here, come here,
come here, come here, come here. It starts to sound like a bird. Come here, come here, come here.
You know, it's, it's, it's, it's the, it's the parent keek or whatever. I try to say parakeet,
anyway, right? But it's just like, I go, well, that standard's too low.
You know how many times I call my kids? Once. You know, I try to, try to hold them that standard,
and if they don't come, you know, then there's repercussions, right? That should be the
expectation of behavior because that's the expectation they're going to meet.
You know, you know, the parent that's consistently calling out for their kids to come here,
it's because you trained them to be that way. They know that, okay, that's the 12th time.
Okay, now they're going to start walking over here, right? They're going to start counting down from
10, and then I'll behave. You know, that's, that's the expectation you've put upon that child. That's
what they're meeting. They're meeting your expectation because you're expecting, and you
say, well, it's so frustrating. Yeah, because your expectation is too low. You need to raise it, and
there needs to be consequences when they don't meet it, okay? And again, it needs to be a reasonable
expectation. I don't think expecting your children to come the first time you call them is an
unreasonable expectation. They should have that level of respect.
That when, when mom and dad say, hey, come here, it's not, no, just a second, okay, what?
They call back from the other room, what? I'm not having a conversation from,
throughout, through the house, through the walls. Come in the room and talk to me, you know? So that,
that's, you know, that's a whole other sermon right there, but I'm just trying to make the
point that there are expectations for behavior. We should have them for our children. This isn't
very important. The Bible says, you're in Colossians 3 verse 20. This isn't just a one-off.
He addresses the children again. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is
well pleasing unto the Lord. So how can I as a child please God? You know, I don't go, I don't,
I don't get to go out and do all the soul winning. I'm not going to be doing the preaching.
You know, there's not, I don't feel like there's a lot I can do as a child to please God. Well,
you know what? The good news as a child is that God has not put a lot upon you directly. The one
thing He's asking you to do in Scripture is to obey your parents. And then if you'll do that,
you'll be what? Pleasing unto the Lord. You want to please God, kids? Obey your parents. Obey Him.
And do it. Don't, you know, not, and here's the other thing. Well, I'll obey my parents,
but I'm not going to like it. Go do, go do this. You know, take the trash out.
And look, you know, I'm guilty of all that. I mean, I, I look back on the way I behaved
with my mother and it's like, no wonder she took the broom to me. No wonder she, you know,
got mad as she did because I had a terrible attitude. I feel bad for it. I wish I could
go back and change all that, but I can't. You know what I mean? But I could see why that's so,
now that especially I have kids, you know, that I could see why that would be so frustrating.
When kids, you know, every time you ask them to do something, it's just like,
the eye roll, the exasperated sigh. So annoying. It's irritating. Because you're not asking much.
You know, I doubt parents are asking like some unreasonable standard of their children
when it comes to their behavior. There's no need for any of that. Do it. You know, when you, when
you're, when you have an opportunity to obey your parents' kids, you know, you should look at that
as an opportunity to be pleasing unto God. Oh great. Here's an opportunity to please the Lord.
My parents want me to do something that, you know, maybe it's not something I want to do.
Maybe it's not something I'm real excited about. Maybe it's going to be hard. Maybe it's going to
make me uncomfortable. You know, but I'm going to go ahead and do it anyway because I want to please
God. And that will help you have a good attitude about it. When you understand that you're pleasing
God when you have that good attitude. You know, if you say, hey, I'm going to obey my parents,
and if I do with a good attitude, God's going to please with me, it's going to make it easier for
you to have a good attitude about doing it. But if all you see is, well, I'm just doing it because
my parents are making me. Well, do it because you want to please the Lord, and it'll be easier for
you to do. So let me just make an application here a little bit more generally to all of us
here at the end, okay? I'm talking about expectations of behavior. We looked at how
there's expectations of behavior when it comes to our, you know, our dress standards, our behavior
towards other people, our personal relationships at work, and marriage as children, and I've laid
all that out because I wanted us to understand that it's not unreasonable that there's an
expectation for us as church members. You know, as members of a local church, it's not unreasonable
to think that there would be an expectation of behavior beyond just what, you know,
1 Corinthians 5 says, okay? And where even we could have a little bit more liberty here to say,
look, this is the way we do things in faithful word. You know, this is the way we don't do this.
We do do this. You know, please abide by that, okay? I don't think that that's unreasonable.
Say, well, where in the Bible does it say this? Where in the Bible does it say that? Well, you
know, it doesn't lay out every little thing that a parent can and can't expect from their children,
can it? It doesn't say it lay out every single thing that parents or that husbands can and
can't expect from their wives in terms of behavior, does it? There's liberty there,
okay? So I don't think it's unreasonable that there is an expectation within the local church
for behavior. I mean, there's certain things we should or should not do, okay?
And here's one of my first points, okay? And I'm going to go through this real quick.
How about this? Be in church. How about that? How about that expectation? Actually, be in church.
You know, that's an expectation of behavior. We all know the passage, but we're going to go there
anyway, Hebrews chapter 10. Anytime church attendance gets brought up, you got to go to
this passage. He's like, well, where did the Bible say you should be in church, you know?
I mean, we all run into people like this. Well, I don't, you know, deer camp's my church.
I go to church when I go for a hike. No, you don't. You go for a hike when you go for a hike.
You go to deer camp when you go to deer camp. You know, your bass boat is not a chapel.
None of that is church. But we've all met people like this, say, well, the Bible doesn't say
anything about being in church. Well, it actually does, okay? It says in Hebrews chapter 10 verse
23, let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering, for he is faithful that promise,
and let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works, not forsaking the
assembling of ourselves together. Now, what is the assembly? It's the church. Those are words
that are used, you know, synonymously in Scripture, church and assembly, okay? It's the same thing.
That's what a church is, an assembly. Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together,
as the manner of some is, but exhorting one another, and so much the more, as you see the
day approaching. So as the day is approaching, the evil day, as perilous times wax worse and worse,
is the Bible saying we need more church or less? It says we need more. I mean, the Book of Acts,
they got together every day, you know, and they were under a lot of heavy persecution and so on
and so forth. I understand that. And here's the thing. I'm not going to get up here and say that
if you're not in church three times a week, you're in sin. I can't prove that from the Bible,
you know, and I'm not even saying that that's an expectation of behavior in this church.
Now, I've always been a three to thrive guy. I believe in three to thrive, and what I have
noticed is that the people that are more committed to more services tend to do better in their
spirituality. Now, there's exceptions to every rule. I understand that, okay? And I'm not, you
know, here's my expectation of behavior for when it comes to church attendance once a week. Once a
week. That is biblical. Go over to Acts chapter 20. Acts chapter 20.
You know, it's the first day of the week. You know, I believe in the, and look, it doesn't have
to be the first day of the week. You say, well, I'll make it for the midweek. Fine. I'll make it
for the Sunday night. Okay. Sunday morning. Great. But I think going to church once a week
is not an unreasonable expectation of behavior. I mean, look at all the other things that we do,
all the other commitments that we make on a daily basis because it's expected of us. You know,
we all go to work every day. You know, we all get up and, you know, wives are keeping house and
teaching children. Kids are getting up and do it. They all have things that they have to do day in
and day out and they do them. And I don't think asking people to, you know, to show up to church
once a week and sit down and yeah, you have to look at this. I understand. It's tough,
but it's the preaching the word of God that counts, right? And to just sit there,
to just sit there and at least pretend that you're listening. You know what I mean? You don't even
have to actually be listening. You could fool me, right? You just have to pretend. And, you know,
you might actually get something out of it. You might actually get something out of the preaching
of the word of God that you can apply to your Christian life that's going to help you grow.
Because here's the thing. You're not going to come to one church service and learn everything
you need to know in one service. Now, I know it might feel like I'm trying to teach you everything
in one service, right? But I try not to. I try to make it about one thing every service.
But it's line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little, there a little. That's how the
Christian life is. We grow slowly over time. It's measured in decades, not in years. So,
I think once a week, you know, is a reasonable expectation. It says in Acts 20 verse 7,
And upon the first day of the week, when the disciples came together to break bread,
Paul preached unto them, ready to depart on the morrow, and continued his speech until midnight.
Now, that's not an expectation of behavior there. I don't have to preach until midnight, okay?
I know it might feel like it's going that way. Like, we're going to high noon. We're not going
to high midnight, okay? But, you know, it was what? On the first day of the week, they came
together, and Paul preached. This is something we see in Scripture. You go over to 2 Thessalonians
3. I'm going to wrap it up. I'm going long, I know. But we're going to 1 Corinthians 16.
You're going to 2 Thessalonians 3, but the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 16,
Now concerning the collection for the saints, as I have given order to the churches in Galatia,
even so do ye. Upon the first day of the week, let every one of you lay by him in store,
as God hath prospered him, that there be no gatherings when I come. So, Paul's expectations
for the churches in Corinth and in Galatia were that they were to lay up in store on the first
day of the week, meaning, you know what? You had to actually show up to do that. Yeah, they had,
you know, there was no zeal, okay? There was no, you know, wire transfer. There was no, you know,
Western Union back then. If you wanted to get the offering in the plate, you had to go to where the
plate was and put the offering in it. That was the expectation. That's what I'm getting at here,
is that Paul didn't think it was unreasonable for people to show up what? Once a week, okay? I
think that's biblical. Now, how about this one? Be on time for church. Be on time for church. And
look, I know things happen. I know that people get busy, you know, whatever. Things happen. We
always make it here on time. I understand that, okay? But, you know, when your habit,
as the manner of some is, right, as you said in Hebrews, if your manner is consistently late to
church, you know, that's a, you know, I don't think that's a very good behavior. I think you
should be on time for church. I think that people should be, think about all the other things you're
on time for. You're on time for work, I hope. You know, if you're succeeding at work, you're
probably the guy who shows up. And I'll even go a step further and say this. If you're succeeding
on the job, you're probably the guy who shows up early. You know, the company gets together,
you know, I worked at places where every Monday, every meet, every morning, before we went all
out to our jobs, we all met at 7 a.m. or whatever it was, 6 a.m. So you're expected to be there,
alert, you know, and ready to hear what, you know, the day's tasks were, to have the jobs doled out,
what crew you were going with, where. And you couldn't show up at 6 30 because all that
information, and they're like, well, where were you? The meeting was at 6. Yeah, I know, but I
stayed up late. Or, you know, I didn't set my alarm. Oh, I understand. That's okay. You know,
whatever. And again, things happen. Hey, I was on the way, boss. I got a flat. Oh, sorry to hear
that. I apologize. Well, I know that you're consistently here early on time, so it's not
a big deal, right? I mean, I remember I had, that happened to me once. I had this, it sounded like
this crazy excuse. The story's coming to me. I'm going to tell it, okay? I had to show up at like
6 a.m. or whatever it was for the company meeting, and my sister had gone out of town,
and she asked me to feed her dog and let the dog out in the morning. And this is a very,
you know, and she lived kind of like, you know, 20, 30 miles or minutes away from me,
and I had just totally forgotten about it. Because it's not something, you know, I don't,
you know, when things aren't part of your routine, then you get asked to do something,
you can kind of forget about it. And you could say, well, you should set an alarm. Well,
I didn't have a smartphone, okay? You know what I mean? I didn't have all the gadgets. You had
to actually just remember things. You know, you had to ask directions to get somewhere,
or write them down on a sticky note, or get out a map, okay? So I remember I was on my way to work,
and it dawned on me. I've got to go let my, you know, the dog's gonna, you know, do what dogs do,
and tear the place up, and everything else. So I had to run over there, let this dog out,
and I was like a half hour, an hour late for work. And I showed up, and the boss was like,
where are you? I said, I know it sounds crazy, but I had to let my sister's dog out. And he said,
you know what? If it was anybody else, I'd call him a liar. He said, because you're consistent.
And he said, but you know what? You have such a good track record of being honest about things,
and you being on time, I believe you. And it was the truth, right? So I don't know where I'm going
with all that. The point is this, like, things happen. I get that, right? But if you're, if I
had been the guy who was consistently late all the time, and then one day I was just like,
what? I'd let my sister's dog out. You'd be like, come up with something better than that,
you know, you liar. You're just telling me the truth. You know what I mean? He wouldn't believe
me. So we should not be people that are in the manner of being late. We should be people that
are on time. You know, let me just say that while I'm on this point, you know, let me just back up
the truck a little bit here and unload. Preferably early, okay? Preferably early. You know, there's
the military saying on time is late. You know, that, you could apply that to church. And,
like I said, I'm going to step on a little bit of toes this morning, but these are the things
that need to be preached. And I don't like to get nitpicky. You know, I'm not going to get
nitpicky about a lot of little things, but this is one of them that I am going to get a little
nitpicky about. I don't like being the only guy in this building 10 minutes to service.
I don't like being the only, my family being the only family here, you know, 15 minutes, 10 minutes
to service. You say, why? Because I'm lonely, right? Because I just can't wait to see you,
right? No, I can't wait to see you. I love seeing all the brethren and so on and so forth.
But because I don't want to be the only one here when a visitor comes.
When that first time visitor shows up and it's an empty building and it's 15 minutes,
to service, that makes an impression folks. People walk into churches and they form impressions like
that. And look, we got a lot of things working against us when it comes to making first
impressions. We're meeting in a small office space with a bunch of derelicts right down the
road here, riffraff walking through. We're not in the nicest part of town, which I'm fine with by
the way. I'm just, reality check, this is where we're at, okay, as a church. We've got, you know,
this old drop tile ceiling in here, you know, then they got me, you know, then it's the sermon.
You know what I mean? So let's make the best, the more of a good impression we can make right
out of the gate, the better. So when they walk in and they see several people here,
they see people fellowshipping and talking and greeting one another, you know, that makes a
good impression. But if they were to walk in and just see me and my family, they'd think,
what's going on here? Say, does that happen? That's happened. There's been people visiting
in town that came in the midweek, you know, and I get it, not everyone can get here. But if you can,
if the only reason you can is just because you don't feel like it, you know, maybe you need to
check that. Maybe you need to search your heart a little bit. You know, maybe you should wonder,
do you really care about whether or not this church is going to grow? You know, maybe. That's
not a big ask. I don't think that's an unreasonable expectation of behavior. They say, hey, if you can
be here early to make a good impression on any visitors show up, please do so. You know,
pick a service and do it, okay? Because I've had visitors come out, you know, in the midweek,
and I know everyone's busy in the midweek. I understand that. Oh, we'll be here Sunday,
and it's, you know, five minutes of service, everybody shows up. And you could just tell the
whole time it's just this awkward them looking around. Is anybody else coming? I mean, even the
people that come here regularly, when we have a low night, like back in January, when everybody
was sick, when everyone was out with COVID, there was like, like, there was like a service
with like six of us or whatever. Even those of you that were here and have been here regularly
for over a year, you even felt awkward. I could tell. You were like, are we, I've even been asked,
are we still going to have service if it's just us? Oh yeah. Oh yeah, we are. If it's just one
person in here we're having service. You don't know who you're dealing with. When we had that
north location, man, I remember I would go up there and it was at 8 a.m. in the morning,
and you want to talk about a small building. It was smaller than our original one here,
right? And nobody came to the 8 a.m. service. There was one service like consistently it was
just me and my family. Then if my wife was sick or the kids were sick and it was just me,
I remember it was one service and there was nobody there. It was eight o'clock. It was time to start.
I started service. I'm just letting you know who you're dealing with here in case you ever
feel like asking that question again. I started service and this is my rule. I'm going to sing
all the songs. I'm going to do the announcements as if this were a full room and then I'm going to
wait 10-15 minutes and if no one shows up, then I'll call it. And I'm sitting there and I'm halfway
through like the second song, one guy walks in and there's nobody else there but me. And I could
just look on his face like and I was just without even missing a beat a cappella, no piano. I just
kept singing and I just gestured, have a seat, went right along and just went right along with
the service. And he sat through the whole thing. Now he never came back. That was it but you know
the point is I'm just making, look we're going to have service. It makes a huge, it makes more
of an impression that you even might even understand when you when this place has more
than just me. 10-15-20 minutes to service. You know and say well we're on Tucson down here. Well you
know it's time to get on God's time. Tucson time needs to take a hike okay and look we call it
Tucson time it's universal folks. That attitude is it's Hawaiian time I've been told. It's Filipino
time I've been told. Look it's everywhere. Everyone has that well I'll just show up the very last
minute you know just barely get there to be on time okay. I don't want to park it on that although
I just did. So be on time. How about some expectations for the children in the service?
I don't think it's an unreasonable expectation and we've got a good group of kids that you know
this is pretty much on point here but I'm going to bring it up anyway that kids should be able to
sit through an entire service. I think that's not I do not think that's an unreasonable expectation.
In fact I have kids that do it. I have kids as young as you know a two-year-old a three-year-old
that can do that. That can sit through an entire service without having to get up and get water
and without having to get up and go use the potty okay. If your child is old enough to go to the
bathroom on their own they're old enough to sit through a service without having to use the potty
and if you're and if you're letting them do that guess what you're doing that's the expectation
that you're giving them. That you know 15-20 minutes into the service I can go take a bathroom
break. As soon as my get a little drowsy and he starts droning on about something that I don't
care about and I want to just go you know to the bathroom to get out of there that I'm gonna do.
Now look if there's an emergency by all means address the emergency otherwise you know I'll
be dealing with it. I don't want to deal with it okay but you know what when we start seeing kids
that are consistently getting up over and over again in the service going to get a glass of water
going to use the bathroom that's you know that's a poor expectation. Kids should be able to sit
through a service. Now I get it you know especially evening services and stuff like that you bring the
kids the younger ones get tired they fall asleep I understand okay but this this getting up
constantly every time there's a church service you know it's I think that's a low expectation
of behavior we need to raise that. How about sitting through the service and not in the nursery
okay not in the nursery the nursery is for well it's a nursery right so it's for
nurselings it's for kids who are nursing okay it's not for the three-year-old it's not I know
there's toys and things in there and if that needs to go they'll go but you know it's it's not for it
you know to go have play time with the toddlers and such you know you should be that's a place
of training and that's by the way it's not a place for ladies to talk during the service
by the way it's not a place for ladies to go in there and have quiet conversation while the
preacher's preaching that's why I've got a little microphone there so you can still that's why
there's a window it's not just so I can it's not for me to look in there and say like what's going
on there and so you can look out here and see what's going on out here okay so the nursery is
you know is for nurselings I think it's a reasonable expectation that you know children
should graduate from that room that should be the goal now if there's a time of training that
needs to take place you need to make use of that room and go over there and teach and train so be
it but it's not play time in there okay during the church service the goal should be to get them
out here otherwise they're going to miss Ephesians children obey your parents they're going to miss
Colossians children obey your parents I mean if I'm a parent I want them to hear that right
I want to hear the obey your parents part okay but that takes place in here
okay when people are paying attention another just quick one for the kids how about no running
in the church no running okay and look this is especially important here because we're you know
it's important everywhere but we have a very limited space of of walking right there's not a
lot of room in here you know if if little Johnny comes no offense to anyone in Johnny comes running
around the corner you know I might have to dive on somebody else to get out of the way right
because we're kind of tight in here okay we have expectant ladies walking around
you know they're they're people you know me I'm a bit of a gimp right now with this this hip
flexor thing I'm not exactly you know he thought I was I wasn't light a foot before I'm especially
you know gimpish now right like I'm not gonna be able to dive out of the way I don't want to have
to do a header over your kid because they have been taught not to run in church okay don't run
in church and now here's just one for everybody okay I don't think it's an unreasonable expectation
for people to clean up after themselves now I'm not saying every you know it's your turn to get
the vacuum or your turn to wipe down the glass or dust the piano you know I'm here for all that I'm
glad to do that you know I'm not saying it's your turn to straighten out the handles or you know put
them back or you know flip the chairs over and dust all the legs okay but how about just clean
up after yourself how about you know maybe when you get up look at the floor you know especially
if you have kids did my kids throw it did my kids tear up the bulletin and throw it on the floor
did they tear a corner off a piece of paper bought it up did my kids put gum on the floor
you know or maybe did I do that you know whatever did you do that did you leave you know a half
drunk water bottle on the seat you know the trash cans right over there you know I don't think that's
an and again I'm not gonna this is like a once in a while sermon this isn't something but since I'm
on the subject I want to get it over with you know clean up after yourself how about you know don't
leave the the food and drink in the fridge you know use the fridge and look I know some people
are sweating right now when I brought that up this is multiple people okay this isn't just one
person that's why I gotta preach it okay you know clean the fridge when I see my clean fridge get
your stuff out of it I don't expect you to open up the fridge and wipe down I'll do that but could
you just take your leftovers with you that have been there for a week two weeks could you take
your personal beverage home you know how about this personal belongings that get left behind
you know I don't think it's an unreasonable expectation for people to look before they
leave and say am I forgetting something am I forgetting a hat a coat or whatever
and I bring all this up because I've been in church for a while now like 20 years or something
like that almost 20 years and I know how people are and it's not it's not bad it's not sinful
it's just if we don't talk about these things they never change because that's the expectation
I set oh brother Corbin's fine with us just taking a sip out of the water bottle and leaving the
whole thing there you know there's a if you just need a sip of water there's a water cooler
and I know there was a stint where I missed a bottle I apologize okay but it's got a water
cooler it's full there's another bottle on the way I'll make sure I do that if you just need a
sip or two grab a cup instead of going and then putting it there and forgetting about it you know
because those are intended for soul winners and again I don't want to turn into this nitpicky
preacher up here but we got to talk about these things every once in a while and maybe I took
a little time long too long getting there but you know it is what it is I had to lay the groundwork
pick up after yourselves clean so on and so forth you know the deal uh go to where do I have you go
first Thessalonians okay the Bible says in second Thessalonians verse three for you yourselves
know how you ought to follow us for we behave not ourselves disorderly among you you know Paul made
a point of behaving himself a certain way around the Thessalonians so that they would follow him
what is he doing he's setting an expectation of behavior and we see that consistently through
the Bible that there's consistently an expectation of behavior in church in our personal lives so on
and so forth look at first again first Thessalonians chapter 2 verse 10 he said you are witnesses and
God also how holy and justly and unbelievably what we behaved ourselves among you that believe
as you know how we had how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you as a father
doth his children he said look you know how we behaved and then we in turn what we set a standard
we said there's an expectation as a father doth his children you know that's what a good dad does
he sets a standard he exhorts he says son daughter this is the bar meet it I'll help you I'll help
you do it why that you would walk worthy of God who has called us called you unto his kingdom
and glory so what is the point of having expectations of behavior is to glorify God
right that we would walk worthy of God that we would be have a good reputation with them that
are without and we'd be known as people who have they could say hey those people at faithful word
in Tucson they're a certain way you know and they're referring to a good way they behave
themselves well they have a certain expectation behavior and I'm not saying something over the top
and it's going to become some you know self-righteous behavior but I'm just saying
like hey when they go there you know that place they treat it with respect you know they treat
their their preacher with respect and everyone does you know and I and I don't feel slighted in
that way you know I'm just saying that should be our reputation you know we should be people that
have known that there's a certain expectation of here and in turn people would glorify God because
of it that people say glory to God for the way people behave so because here's the thing in a
church or out of church you know your behavior is a testimony to those around you so you know
it's not unreasonable that you should have a certain expectation for that behavior let's go
ahead and pray