you
Hey, man, good morning. Welcome to Verity Baptist Church
Let's open up our first service by turning our key books to game number 106.
Game number 106, let's sing a song, Abide With Me.
Game number 106, call the first.
Abide with me that souls be given by.
God, darkness, defend, Lord, with me abide.
When other lovers will then comfort me,
thou, O God of death, so abide with me.
Slip to its toes as God's life's legal name.
Where joyful millions' glories pass away,
they can be given all round I see.
For thou who takest love, abide with me on earth.
I need thy presence, every passing hour.
What, what thy grace can't foil the tender star?
Who, like thyself, my God and Snake and King?
Who, cloud and sunshine, abide with me on earth?
For round thy cross we, o'er thy closing eyes,
guide through the open, pointing to the sky.
As morning waves set, earth's main shadows gleam,
delighting them, O Lord, abide with me.
It's great to have a fire. We thank you, Lord, for this morning.
We ask, Lord, that you bless our first service,
and I pray that you would guide Brother Saki as he preaches a sermon to us.
Help us to be attentive with the servant, Lord.
That's also our fellowship and also this whole meeting this afternoon, Lord.
We're asking all of these things in Jesus' name, we pray.
Amen.
All right, good morning, everybody. Welcome to Verity Baptist Church.
Take out your bulletin here today.
Our verse of the week is Matthew 14, verse 29.
The Bible reads, and he said,
And when Peter was come down out of the ship,
he walked on the water to go to Jesus.
That's a great verse there.
It will tie into our second sermon.
We are a family-integrated church, meaning children and infants
are welcome during the church services.
We have another baby room back there for your convenience,
as well as the ladies' comfort room.
The men's restroom is up here in front.
Remember no eating during the service.
Maintain a professional atmosphere,
and keep the children from running and making noise during the church service.
Next page are service times listed.
First service is at 10 a.m.
Second service around 11.15.
I believe today's first sermon will be longer,
but we will start sowing at the normal time here today.
Second sermon will be a bit shorter than the first sermon.
Wednesday evening Bible study at 7 p.m.
Sowing time is listed.
We will start sowing on Wednesdays at 4 p.m. at the church building.
On Saturdays in Case Hill Memorial Circle,
all days soul winning 10 to 12,
lunch provided by church, and 2 to 4.
Of course we do have soul winning this afternoon around 1.45.
Our salvations and baptisms are listed there
for the month and year to date
for all of our churches and Bible study fellowships.
Birthdays and anniversaries for the month of March are listed there.
On the next page, our Bible memorization challenge.
Today is the last day to quote 1 Timothy 5 verses 1 through 14
as an adult to get the prize.
The new memorization for the next week is Acts 6 verses 1 through 7.
Only 7 verses. No excuse as adults.
It's time for you to get back in to the Bible memorization.
It's only 7 verses.
Ages 8 to 10 memorizing 7 verses perfectly.
Below the age of 8, memorizing 1 verse perfectly wins the prize.
Upcoming activities, we do have choir practice here today.
Next week we have the monthly prayer meeting as well as the choir practice.
Current and upcoming series,
we are in the alphabet of Bible doctrines
and we're going to take a break from that this week.
Also the series, pastoral training,
we do have one sermon in that series here today.
Information on our group chat
and then on the back there's a place for notes
for both of the sermons here today.
I believe that's it for announcements.
We'll have Brother Marlon lead us in another song.
We went for our second song.
Our hymn number 112.
Let's sing the song Be Still My Soul.
Hymn number 112.
Be still my soul.
Hymn number 112.
On the first be still my soul.
The Lord is on thy side.
On the first ready sing.
Be still my soul.
The Lord is on thy side.
There be gently the cross so free for me.
Live to thy God, to order and provide.
In everything be faithful will we be.
Be still my soul.
Thy best I can depend.
Who for thee waits leads to a joyful end.
On the second be still my soul.
Thy God God undertakes.
To guide the future as he has the best.
Thy hope, thy God, he then set not to be changed.
All thou is still your God be mine at last.
Be still my soul.
The wings and wings to hold.
His voice to rule.
And my He will belong.
Be still my soul.
The heart is tasting all.
When we saw thee forever with the Lord.
When this upon men give them fear our God.
Sorrow for God, love's purest joy explored.
Be still my soul.
When tears and tears are past.
Oh, safe and blessed be the King at last.
This time let's take our dice and offering.
Amen.
For a scripture reading, please open your Bibles to the book of 1 Timothy.
1 Timothy chapter 5.
And we will only be reading verses 8 down to verse 14.
1 Timothy chapter 5 verses 8 down to verse 14.
Please say amen if you're there.
Amen.
1 Timothy chapter 5 verse 8.
But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own household, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel.
Let not a widow be taken into the number under three score years old, having been the wife of one man.
Well reported of for good works, if she had brought children, if she had loved strangers, if she had washed a saint's feet, if she had relieved the afflicted, if she had diligently followed every good work.
But the younger widows refuse, for when they have begun to wax once and against price, they will marry, having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith.
And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle, but tatlers also in busy bodies, speaking things which they ought not.
I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
Bless the reading of God's word. Let us pray.
Lord God in heaven we thank you, Lord, for this day that you've given to us. I pray, Lord, that you would please bless the Lord for this day. Give us good weather for our soul. We may have fellowship later on.
I pray, Lord, that you would please bless the preaching and the preaching of your word, Lord, this day. We love you. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
Alright, we're here in 1 Timothy 5 and we're continuing our series on pastoral training.
And the third sermon in this series is the role of a wife. The role of a wife.
Now obviously most of the sermons are about the husband and the first two sermons. One of them was about taking care of the home.
And most of the sermons are going to be attached to that, but it is important to have a sermon on the role of a wife when it comes to being a pastor or church leader.
Because obviously, you know what, the wife of the church leader does have a very important role, okay?
And so point number one here today is this. The first role of the wife of a pastor is to run her individual home.
The first role is to run her individual home. The Bible says here in verse 14,
I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
Look, this is what the Bible says and we see the distinction in verse 8 where it says the main job of a husband is to provide for his home.
And verse 14 of a wife to take care of the family. That doesn't change if you go in the ministry.
The number one goal of my wife is for our family. My goal above the church family is my own family.
And you should not take offense to that. It's like that is what the Bible teaches, right? My family comes above the church family.
Look, I would allow the church family to get a bit muggle-o from time to time if necessary to take care of my own home.
You say why? Because my own home comes first. Even being a pastor, it says you start with your own personal family.
That doesn't change if you go in the ministry. And look, many people go in the ministry and they just destroy their own families for the sake of the church.
That's not right. We saw that in the first sermon about Samuel, how basically he's traveling around from place to place.
And look, obviously you go in the ministry, there's a lot of great work you can do. But you've got to find that balance because your own home is more important than the church family.
Right? Go to Titus 2. Titus 2.
I mean, isn't that true with everybody in this room, whether you're in the ministry or not?
That your own family, if you're a father or a mother, your own family is what God gave you.
Right? God blessed you with a wife. God blessed you with a husband. God blessed you with kids. You've got to put your family above.
Now, there's certain things I do believe you should do. On a daily basis, read the Bible. On a daily basis, have your personal walk with God.
Obviously, your relationship with God is number one. But you know, when it comes to, well, the family versus being dedicated to church, I do believe you should be in church on a weekly basis.
But at the same time, you know what? Your family is very important. Right? They come above.
And you understand that if you're a father or you're a mother, why your family is so important. You've got to put them first.
And that does not change if you go in the ministry. Titus 2, verse 3.
The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior, has become with holiness, not false accusers, not given much wine, teachers of good things, that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chase keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
And this passage is not specifically about women that are married to someone in the ministry, but the general principle is the aged women teaching the young women.
Now what are they teaching the young women about? About the rapture? No.
About repentance? No. To be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chase keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
They're teaching the young women to basically love and respect their husbands and take care of their kids. And what that shows is that when you first get married, it's not automatic.
You know, a lot of people might think, well, when I get married, no problems, it's going to be easy. Well, then why does the Bible say the aged women teach the young women?
It means that the moms in this room, they had to learn these things when they first got married. You first start having kids. Nobody wants to wake up at 2 in the morning for a crying baby.
Right? I mean, that's not fun. All of us that are parents have been there, and it's like you're used to just sleeping through the night, then it's 2 in the morning.
You know, as a husband, you pretend to be asleep, you know, because you don't want to have to wake up. Right? You know, it's not, hey, I see the guys are saying, yeah, that's true, you can say amen. Right?
And it's like, but nobody wants to wake up and have their sleep broken up in the middle of the night, but when you have kids, that's just the way that it is.
Now, of course, none of us remember when we were young kids, and we were the ones waking up in the middle of the night, getting sick in the middle of the night.
And here's what takes place with your first child. The first time with your first child and they're sick, you're like scared to death.
As a father or a mother, probably more as a mother, but I can say even as a father, you're really concerned. Right?
And you don't think about this until you actually have kids, but you start having kids and there's that responsibility built inside of you where you know they belong to you, it's your job.
And see, that's when the women will start sending messages. Hey, you know what, my child is sick at night, what do I do? Should I do paracetamol? Should I do natural cure?
It's like, trust me, my wife gets lots of messages because a lot of people are new moms, and not just my wife, but any of the aged women that have been through these things.
They can teach you these basic things that you just don't learn except via experience. Go in your Bible to Exodus 4. Exodus 4.
I mean, the context of the aged women teaching the young women is about being a mom, being a wife.
Well, here's the thing. If the pastor's wife didn't take care of her own home, how could she teach somebody else? It doesn't make any sense.
Right? I mean, if somebody's not good at something, like, I'll give you an example. I am not good at the game of billiards. Okay?
I'm not going to teach people how to play billiards. You say, why? I'm not good.
We were talking, me and Marlene were talking before the service. In college, people would tell me, I bet you're awesome at billiards because you're good at math. You know angles.
I'm just like, what? It doesn't even make sense. It's like, yeah, anyone can tell if it bounces here, it's going to go this way, right?
It's like, no, I'm not good at it, so I would not teach people that. It's not my forte. It's not what I'm good at.
Obviously, the aged women must take care of their own homes before they teach the young women.
You know, here's some statistics that are important for us all to realize. 50% of people quit the ministry within less than five years.
Our church is getting up on five years old, so I have a 50% chance of surviving the next several months, right?
But 50% quit within the first five years.
Anyone, I'll tell you this. People that have worked for a church, they understand what I'm saying.
There is a difference if you work full-time for a church or you're in the ministry versus being a member.
Now, look, I don't believe in the idea of full-time Christian service because we're all trying to serve God full-time.
What I'm saying is this. If you work in the secular world and you love church, what takes place?
You can't wait for Monday to be over and Tuesday to be over and Wednesday because you just want to hang out with a brethren at church.
Hear a sermon, be away from the world. You don't have to worry about the language and the crude jokes. You just want to be around God's people.
You don't get that same feeling of excitement if you're full-time. You say, why? Because every day is involved in ministry stuff.
Now, a lot of that is just organization, but it's still stuff that's related. You just don't get the same feeling.
Now, I love church, but I'm just saying I used to get more excited when I was not a full-time worker because, you know what?
It's like a break from the world and you're excited about it. It's just a different feeling if you're full-time, so I get it.
People get in the ministry, they're excited, they think it's going to be great, I'm never going to be upset, and then all of a sudden they realize, no, wait a minute.
It's like even being in the ministry, there's downs. Even in the ministry, there's depression. Even in the ministry, they're like, man, I just want to quit.
Just as you feel that way with secular jobs, someone can feel like that in the ministry.
Fifty percent of people quit the ministry within five years. By the way, there have been, this is not just a general statistic,
there have been plenty of new IFB churches that were started that just ended for various reasons,
but what I'm saying is some people got in the ministry, they're excited, and you know what? It just ended.
You say, why? It's not just a Catholic thing or a Methodist or Lutheran. No, I mean, you're going to run into these stresses no matter what denomination.
Forty-two percent of people have considered quitting the ministry over the last twelve months. Forty-two percent. That's a lot.
You say, that seems strange to me. Well, have you read your Bible?
Elijah said, you know what? I'm not better than my fathers. I'm ready to die.
Moses, who could blame Moses? I mean, look at the people that you gave me. I'm done, right?
Paul, I despaired even of life. He said, man, I don't want to do it anymore.
So look, if people like Elijah, Moses, and Paul, which are probably three of your top five greatest characters,
at least male characters in the Bible, thought about just, man, I want to give up. Do you realize that everybody in the ministry will go through that feeling?
Where you feel like, man, did I make a mistake? Is this for me? You know, sometimes you're stressed out. You go through a low of life.
Everybody goes through that. Don't try to put undue pressure on your spiritual leadership, on the husband or the wife in the ministry.
You say, why? Because we get stressed out, too. We get tired, too. We get frustrated, too. It's not just you. We all do.
And look, the thing is, when you preach sermons, and the men that preach sermons regularly at this church, they know this.
When you're up here preaching, you have to pretend, no matter what's going on, everything's great.
You know this is true. But if you preach on a weekly basis, everything is not always great.
Sometimes you're frustrated. Sometimes you're tired. But you don't get the luxury of just making it obvious.
You have got to just preach through it and just pretend like nothing's going on. That's just the way it works.
Point number one, the role of a wife is to raise the home. And look, we don't apologize about that. My wife's number one role is to raise our home.
That's the number one role. Look, we have three young kids. People that have young kids, you've got to give them baths, you've got to feed them food, you've got to clean up the messes.
When one of them accidentally spills coke in your computer, you've got to get it fixed a couple days ago.
These things happen. It happens for everybody with young kids. It just is what it is.
Point number two, point number one was make sure you raise your own home. Point number two, though, is as a wife in the ministry, you must realize you cannot completely separate yourself from the ministry.
Your first role is your personal home, but you cannot completely separate yourself from the ministry.
Look, my job, I worked for many years when I lived in the US in the actuarial field. If you were to ask my wife what I did on my job, she probably wouldn't be able to give you a very detailed answer.
Microsoft Excel is probably the only thing that she would say. You say, why? Because it had nothing to do with my life. At all.
It's not like it's my job. You work a secular job. Your job, there's probably a lot of things your wife just doesn't know about your job, and that's fine.
Right? But here's the thing. In the ministry, it's different because my job, it's like, well, obviously, you're around all the same people I am. You're organizing the events.
You can't be completely separated because his job actually becomes your job. Right? Now, the number one role is your own personal home, but you can't be completely separated.
We have a great example of this in Exodus chapter 4 with the wife of Moses. Exodus 4 verse 13.
And he said, O my Lord, send I pray thee by the hand of whom thou wilt send. And the anger of the Lord was kindled against Moses.
And he said, Is not Aaron the Levite thy brother? I know that he can speak well. And also, behold, he cometh forth to meet thee, and when he seeth thee, he will be glad in his heart.
You know, Moses didn't want the role of being the spiritual leader. But one thing you might not have noticed, if you pay attention, his wife did not want him to have the role of being the spiritual leader.
And look, I don't always focus on that when I'm preaching, nor does any preacher, and that's not the main thing, but that is a very clear thing here.
The poor did not want her husband in the ministry. Verse 19. And so Moses basically agrees to God. Okay, I'll do it. Aaron will be my speaker. Verse 19.
And the Lord said unto Moses and Midian, Go return unto Egypt, for all the men are dead which sought thy life.
And Moses took his wife and his sons, and set them upon an ass. And he returned to the land of Egypt, and Moses took the rod of God in his hand. Verse 21.
And the Lord said unto Moses, When thou goest to return unto Egypt, see that thou do all those wonders before Pharaoh which I have put in thine hand, but I will harden his heart that he shall not let the people go.
And thou shalt say unto Pharaoh, Thus saith the Lord, Israel is my son, even my firstborn. And I say unto thee, Let my son go, that he may serve me, and if thou refuse to let him go, behold, I will slay thy son, even thy firstborn.
And it came to pass by the way in the end, that the Lord met him, and sought to kill him.
Now look, when you're reading your Bible, and you come across verse 24, you're like, what is going on? What is the Bible saying? The Lord sought to kill who? The Lord sought to kill Moses.
And look, here's the thing. Sometimes you're reading your Bible, and your mind wanders, and then you pick up the story, and you're like, okay, what's going on?
But in Exodus 4, you might feel like your mind was wandering. It wasn't. It just is a verse that seems to appear out of nowhere. The Lord sought to kill him, right? Why would God seek to kill Moses?
Next verse, verse 25. Then Zipporah took a sharp stone, and cut off the foreskin of her son, basically circumcising their son, which obviously, that was a requirement in the Old Testament.
And I mean, here's the thing. If you're in spiritual leadership, like for example, if I was up here, and it's just like, you know what, if my kids get saved, nope, I don't want my kids getting baptized.
It'd be like, what? It's like, how do you administer baptisms if you're not going to do it yourself? It wouldn't make any sense, right? I mean, obviously, if I'm devoid from these things, it's like, wow, you know what, go soul winning, but I don't go soul winning.
It'd be like, what? And there are churches where pastors do that, but that doesn't make any sense, right? And so, here's the thing. Obviously, Moses needed to have his son circumcised.
And Zipporah, she cut off the foreskin of her son and cast it at his feet, and notice what she said, and said, Surely a bloody husband art thou to me. She's mad at her husband.
Why is it Moses didn't circumcise his son? Probably because of his brawling wife, right? From the context. Is that not what we see in Exodus chapter 4?
Probably because his wife didn't want him to circumcise her son, right? Because what his wife says is, You're a bloody husband to me. Not, I saved your life, but you're a bloody husband. How dare you make me circumcise her son?
So let him go. Then she said, A bloody husband thou art because of the circumcision. And you know what, here's what I'm saying. Zipporah, my advice to her would be, Get on board with your husband who has this calling from God in his life.
Right? That's what we see here in Exodus chapter 4. Now look, we don't exactly know the relationship of Moses and Zipporah. Moses was not a pastor.
Realize that, okay? Obviously he was in spiritual leadership, but he wasn't a pastor as in like the modern day bishop requirements with your family and everything.
And we don't really know a lot about Moses and his wife, but it seems like it's a bit of a mess, right? But what we do see is the stresses of ministry, don't we?
I mean there's stresses upon the wife of Moses. Look, you men that want to go in the ministry realize it's going to be stressful not just for you, but also for your wives.
You've got to keep that in mind. It's going to be difficult not just for you, but also for your wife. You say, why? Because your wife is not completely separate from the job that you have of running a church.
Go to 1 Timothy chapter 3. 1 Timothy chapter 3. 1 Timothy chapter 3.
Point number 1, the goal or the role I should say of a pastor's wife is to raise her home.
Point 2 is to realize you cannot completely separate yourself from the ministry as if it's like a secular job. It just doesn't work that way.
Now of course, if you've got to make a decision, you know, the church versus your own personal home, I mean it's the own personal home, not church.
Obviously the home comes first because first thing mentioned to be, you know, having that desire to go in the ministry, that's great. Make sure your own home is in order, right?
The third thing though is support your husband. Support your husband. If you are a wife whose husband goes in the ministry, your job is to support your husband with the calling he has and also the plans that he has when it comes to running the church.
Now here's the thing. The Bible speaks of a man desiring the office of a bishop. It does not speak about a woman desiring to be a pastor's wife. That does not exist. Doesn't exist.
What takes place is that a wife marries a husband because she loves him and wants to follow him and certain men have this calling upon their lives from God and they have that desire and they go in the ministry.
And look, if that ends up being your husband one day, you're meant to support him. You're meant to be there to help him, right?
1 Timothy 3 verse 1. This is a true saying. If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work. Bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt to teach, not given a wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre, but patient, not a brawler, not covetous. We talked about that, you know, just recently.
One that ruleth well his own house. We go back to this idea of if you're in the ministry, you must rule your own house well, right? One that ruleth well his own house.
In a personal home, husbands, you are the head of your personal homes. You are the head of your homes above your wife. Now that does not mean that you're better, but it does mean you are the head.
You are the head. It means you wear the pants in the relationship as the expression goes, or at least you should. Don't be afraid to say, Amen, men. Right? You are the heads of your home. That's what the Bible teaches.
I'm telling you what, wives don't fight against it, and husbands step into your role. That's what God has for you. No matter who you are, if you are married as the husband, you're the head of your home.
Now, we quizzed our kids the other day because they understood, okay, Dad, you're the head of the home. It's like, okay, what about, you know, Mom versus you, Zeph, because you're a boy, and she's your mom, and, you know, one of her kids got it right, one got it wrong.
We said, no, no, no, the mom's the head of the children, but the husband's the head of the wife. And, of course, we know this. People get mad at this. This is just what the Bible says. Everybody knows that. It works the same way in the local church as well, okay?
But if your husband goes in the ministry, the wife is meant to support her husband, meaning the husband's the one that makes the plans and decisions for the church. That's just the way it goes, right?
Having his children in subjection with all gravity, for if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?
You know, you have examples of people that are presidents of countries, and they've been divorced a bunch of times. I mean, Donald Trump, right? It's like you couldn't even run any individual family well, and then you're going to run a country?
It's just like, doesn't really make a lot of sense. I mean, the old standard used to be, hey, you know what, you have a good, strong family, and that was an example.
Hey, if he can run his family, his kids are godly, respectful, then he can do a good job running a country. Now it's just like, doesn't matter, right? I mean, everything's changed in our world for the worst in the last 50 years.
So I want you to realize, and turn to 1 Peter 3. 1 Peter chapter 3.
So for example, you know, when we have like ladies events, like the Mother's Tea Party or Ladies Tea Party, and actually this year the Ladies Tea Party is going to be actually very different, it's going to be a completely different activity.
With events like that, my wife asks me for approval first. You say, why? Because I'm the head of my home, and I'm the head of this church. That's the way it works.
And so if I was against it, I would be like, no. If I'm for it, I'm going to say, sure. Right? Because I make the decisions. Now that doesn't always work that way in every home, but that's how it should work.
That the husbands make the decisions for their family. The husbands are the leaders. And look, you can preach a whole sermon of why this is, but regardless of why you think it is or whatever, it's just clearly what the Bible says.
Look, husbands ought to decide where the family goes to church. You know, we go soul winning sometimes. You talk to a guy and a girl, maybe their husband and wife, or boyfriend, girlfriend, and the guy's interested in the Gospel,
and then all of a sudden, a couple minutes in, you know, the girlfriend or wife is like, you know, we're not interested. It's like, what? I mean, I would suggest to that guy, what I should probably say is, alright, just break up with her now.
If you don't want to listen to the Gospel, fine. I want to save you decades of just pain and misery. Just break up now. But we see that all the time out soul winning.
Where the girlfriend or the wife makes a decision for the family, it's just like, man. By default, when I talk to a man and a woman out soul winning, I always approach the guy. I always give the invitation to him.
Unfortunately, usually it's the guy that doesn't pay attention, and he wants, like, the girl to talk to me, and it's just like, you know, it's like, the thing is, if you don't want to listen, why wouldn't you just tell your wife, hey, actually we're not interested?
You never hear a guy saying that, do you? I mean, that's not the way it's meant to be. But that's the world that we have today. It's a very changing world.
1 Peter 3, verse 1.
Likewise ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.
While they behold your chaste conversation, coupled with fear, whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of plating the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel,
but let it be the hidden man of the heart, and that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit which is in the sight of God of great price.
The goal for every lady ought to be a meek and quiet spirit. Right? Ruth in the Bible, hardworking lady, meek and quiet spirit.
That is what the Bible teaches, is in the sight of God of great price. There's a difference between men and women.
When the presidential election is like Lenny, Lenny, it's like, that is not exactly a meek and quiet spirit.
That's pretty much the exact opposite of a meek and quiet spirit.
Verse 5.
For after this manner in the old time the holy women also who trusted in God adorned themselves being in subjection unto their own husbands.
Now what does it mean to be in subjection? Right?
Well subjection, the first three letters, sub, it's like, think of a submarine goes under the water.
Okay?
Subjection basically means when your husband wants one thing, and you want another, you willingly put yourself underneath your husband's wishes.
Okay? I'll give you examples of what I'm talking about.
Let's say for today, you as the husband want to come to church, and your wife wants to come to church also,
and the wife is like, look at me, I'm a very submissive woman.
You wanted to come to church, that doesn't prove submission.
What proves submission is when he says something and you don't, and then you actually go to the wishes of your husband.
That is submission.
It's only submission when you don't want to do something, and you do it because that's what he said.
I mean, if you both want to go soul winning today, that's not submission.
If you both want to read the Bible, that's not submission.
Submission is, he says, hey, we're having pork for dinner, and you're like, it's going to be chicken.
Right? And then you make the pork.
Right? I mean, that is what submission is by definition.
Okay?
Turn to First Samuel 18.
First Samuel 18.
Now remember, we're talking about the role of a pastor's wife.
What if the wife disagrees with the husband?
Well, I mean, it's the same thing in an individual home.
The wife ought to submit to the husband.
Same thing in the ministry.
If the wife disagrees, then she should go along with what the husband says as the leader of the church.
Right?
And, you know, I'm going to give you an example of this, and we're going to go on a long tangent, and I want you to realize right up front,
I am not angry at anyone, but we need some lessons learned from the last week.
I'll give you an example of something my wife and I disagreed with when this church started.
My wife wanted to have a bridal shower for every woman that got married,
and a baby shower for every woman that had a baby.
Why didn't we do that?
Because her husband's a jerk.
It's not because of my wife.
It's because of me.
Now, I'm not against bridal showers.
I'm not against baby showers.
I mean, we give our baby a shower every day.
And, like, I'm being honest.
Like, I'm not mad, but there's some lessons that need to be learned, okay?
Because basic church structure of basic different things.
The reason we do not have them is because of me.
You say, Brother Stuckey, you would tell your wife, no, I run my home.
I make the decisions.
I also make the decisions at this church also, okay?
And I realize I don't want my wife to look bad because probably the natural assumption is Miss Tan doesn't want to do this for ladies.
Actually, it's me.
Now, I'm the one that's the jerk that you ladies can hate, okay?
Why is it that I don't want to do them as a church-sponsored thing?
Now, here's the thing.
I don't always have to give my reasons for why I do things, but I do want to in this instance.
And I'll give you a couple reasons.
And I'm not against them.
I think it's a nice gesture. I mean that sincerely.
I'm honest about that.
I'll give you two main reasons why we will never do a church-sponsored bridal shower or baby shower at this church.
And other churches do.
That's fine, but why we will not.
Number one, because when a church starts, one person gets married in a year and two people have babies.
Three bridal showers or baby showers in a year is not that much.
As a church grows, five people get married in a year and ten people have babies.
That is fifteen.
That's more than one a month.
You understand the big difference?
I mean, there's a reason why if you ever listen to preaching, both Verity and Faithful Word backed away from the bridal showers and baby showers for this very reason.
Because it becomes very time consuming.
You say, well, Brother Stuckey, you can just combine them into one event.
You can do that, but this is what takes place from personal experience.
She got to have her own bridal shower and I got to share one.
This takes place.
She got to have her own baby shower. We got to share one.
This takes place from personal experience.
And so here's the thing, I believe they're very time consuming for a church to sponsor and it's something that is perpetual.
If we do a bridal shower for one person, got to do it for the next person, got to do it for the next person.
And when this church started, I wanted to be very careful about activities that would be perpetual.
So if you remember, when this church started, did we have a lot of activities?
Nope. By design.
Because I didn't want to be locked into something that was permanent because then it's like, wow, we can't end this.
Now you might agree or disagree. That's fine.
But I'm just telling you why we don't do them. I think they're very, very time consuming.
That's one of the big reasons.
Realize that in Revelation chapter 2, it speaks about a church that leaves the first works of soul winning.
They leave their first love.
Why would a church leave their first love of soul winning?
Because as a church grows, you have a lot more activities.
And if all your energy is in activities, then you know what? You're not going to end up having it in the soul winning.
So I have to be very, very selective of what I make church sponsored events.
That's one reason.
Another reason why is to the best of our ability, we make events at church free.
Last week, a lot of people played table tennis, maybe 30 people between the men, women and kids.
There was no entrance fee.
Everyone ate food. No charge for eating pizza. Right?
You say, oh bridal showers free with an obligation to bring a gift.
And trust me, I know from church experience, people end up complaining.
And here's the thing, if a church sponsors an event, a lot of people will go if they don't want to.
That's just the way it is.
Because they feel obligated to go even if they don't want to.
And honestly, in my opinion, when a church sponsors it, it can break apart the unity of the church.
I am not against other people sponsoring bridal showers or baby showers.
It's just not an official church event.
And those are some of the reasons. Right?
So, you know, there might be questions.
And I'm not saying everybody has these questions, but I'm sure some people do.
Well, why can't we have a bridal shower at a church?
It's not a church event.
It's that simple.
I mean, have you ever read that story as a kid?
You give the mouse a cookie, he's going to ask for a glass of milk.
You give him a glass of milk, he's going to need a napkin.
And if we allow one non-sponsored church event, then there's the next, then there's the next, then there's the next.
And then it's very magalo and not decently in an order.
At some point, I've got to put a line where I look like a jerk and this is the line. Okay?
It's just the way it is. Right?
And you might agree or disagree, I'm just stating why we do this.
But it's also the same reason why we're not going to have the men stay here for the bridal shower because then we might as well just have the ladies have the bridal shower here.
There's not really any difference.
You might agree.
You might disagree. Well, that's our rules though.
You say, Brother Stuckey, why can't the ladies have the tables or chairs?
Because they never asked.
Actually, you can have the tables and chairs.
You've got to ask.
Our Heavenly Father wants to give us a lot of things and He knows what we want, but you have to ask.
You have not because you ask not.
It's that simple.
Who do we ask? My wife.
My wife. It's that simple.
Now, here's the thing.
I'm going to spend a lot of time talking about this.
As I said, I'm not mad at people. I just want people to learn lessons.
And I just want to read you a couple things.
And a couple weeks ago, more than a few weeks ago, some ladies asked about having a bridal shower.
And this is the response that I gave to my wife to give to them.
It says, We think that it is great that some of the ladies have decided to give Sister So-and-So a bridal shower.
When the church started, we made the decision not to have official bridal or baby showers provided by church because we believed it would be too time consuming.
Instead, we decided to give gifts to those getting married and first time mothers.
Don't we give gifts to everybody who gets married and first time moms? We do that.
All the ladies here know that's true.
That being said, we think that it is a great gesture that the ladies have decided to do.
However, since the bridal shower would not be an official church event, we ask that the bridal shower takes place at somebody's house as opposed to the church.
We also don't want to create a culture of people sleeping or staying at the church building as we have had issues in the earlier days of VBC Manila with that and also with issues with our church plants.
And that's true. We did use to let people stay at the building more but it leads to various problems.
Where 90% of the time it's okay, 10% of the time it's a problem and it's just like, I don't want that culture here.
Things should be done decently and in order.
In addition, we don't want to show favoritism toward anyone in particular so we can't allow the bridal shower at the church building.
James 2.1, my brethren, have not the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ the Lord of glory with respect of persons.
Romans 2.11, for there is no respect of persons with God.
Because we allow it for one person, we got to allow it for everybody.
That's just the way it works.
Just to be fair. Otherwise, I will be accused of showing favoritism. That's just the way it is.
We do believe it is a great gesture and I'm sure Sister So-and-So will be very thankful for it.
Please let us know if you have any questions. Also, please let my wife know if there is anything that she can help you with in regards to the bridal shower.
Thank you, Brother Stuckey.
Now, not everybody agrees with this position but I'm very clear, I'm respectful and I'm sincere.
It is a nice gesture to do a bridal or a baby shower for someone.
It's not an official church event, right?
Now, originally it was going to be on a Saturday, right?
It's going to be on a Saturday, not conflicting with church at all.
And that changed this past week, okay?
And this message, Good Afternoon, Post This Tan, this is also to kindly let you know the changes regarding the bridal shower schedule.
Majority agreed to do it on Sunday, March 19th after Soul Winning Po from 5 to 7 p.m. at the House of Sister So-and-So.
This would allow more people to join Po.
We notice that this new schedule will be in conflict with acquired practice.
Kindly advise Po, thank you.
Now, look, I'm using this as a training example.
I'm not angry at anybody but we need to make some changes and learn from this situation, okay?
There's two things I do not like about this message.
Majority agreed.
What that means is you gathered a bunch of people together on your side before bringing your request to the church.
Why did Brother Stuckey allow the basketball?
Because that's not what Brother June did.
It's planned way, way, way in advance and if I said no, it wouldn't make me look bad at all because he doesn't have anybody gathered together on his side.
I'm not mad at people, I just want us to learn because I think everybody knew when Brother Stuckey sent that message, if you're not at both acquired practices, you're not in choir, and everyone's like, is Brother Stuckey mad?
That's what a lot of you are wondering and that was my response to this message, right?
The other thing is, knowing it's going to conflict with the church schedule, it's like, look, I think people would be afraid to do this to Pastor Jimenez or Pastor Anderson.
You don't expect the church to fit your schedule.
You fit your schedule around church.
That's what you do, okay?
You fit your schedule around church.
Yes, I did make the decision to allow the basketball.
And here's the thing, I don't feel like we're in competition with events at all.
People are going to have more fun next week at basketball than they did at the table tennis, or in a few weeks.
Why? People like basketball more.
I like basketball more.
As a church, we administer certain fellowship stuff, but I have no problem with people administering more fellowship stuff.
But we're not going to administer everything.
I have no problem, it's not a competition.
Look, I want the ladies to have a great time today.
I want them to have the chairs and tables.
I never had a problem with that.
It just was never asked, right?
And yes, the reason why my wife did not answer this message is because of a jerk of her husband said, do not answer that message.
I said, they will change the schedule to six to eight.
I'm not psychic, it's just I knew that would take place when they sensed, well, Brother Stuckey's not happy about this.
And you're right!
Brother Stuckey was, and I'm not now angry, okay?
I was initially, it's like, okay.
Now it's like, okay, I'm calmed down, right?
It's like, yes, I'm not okay with something conflicting with an official church schedule.
Now here's the thing.
To the best of your ability, you don't want to inconvenience church.
When things are done kind of last second and the church is kind of put in a position where they got to change their schedule, that's where the problem comes.
Things should be done way in advance.
Not just the day of.
And look, this is my opinion, what would have taken place, I could be wrong.
But if we had not mentioned anything in that group thread, what would have taken place is last second men would ask, can we just stay at the church building?
And it's like, I don't want the church to be inconvenienced.
And by the way, starting now, we will have an official closing time on Sundays and Wednesdays to avoid this sort of situation.
What I've realized, what I've learned from this situation is we've got to tighten things up a bit because we are a growing church.
And we've got to be doing things decently and in order as a growing church.
And we are growing, there's no doubt about that.
I've got to be stricter.
We've got to do things decently and in order.
I don't want someone to be required to be here to close the building.
I don't want to always have to know who has the keys and things like that.
The tables and chairs can be borrowed for the bridal shower.
Now I don't have as much faith as you ladies and the men that they're strong enough to carry them.
That's why you've got to give them a couple weeks notice so they can really hit those weights.
But yes, you can borrow them.
And I never had a problem, but that was never actually asked to us.
Okay.
I did want to talk about a couple other things.
And once again, I just said we're doing these things for learning things.
Every month I stand behind this pulpit on the day of our monthly prayer meeting.
What do I always say?
After soul-witting we're going to divide into small groups of four, five, or six.
Who's heard me say that a hundred times?
Don't be afraid to raise your hands.
Everybody knows I say that.
The men don't have a problem with it.
The married women with kids do not have a problem with it.
You know who has a problem with it?
The single ladies.
We, in our group here, we always laugh about it.
Basic rule and they don't even follow it.
That's called being stubborn and rebellious.
That's called a lack of respect for Brother Stuckey.
It's not hard to follow.
Four, five, or six.
You just don't want to follow it.
Because you just want to hang out with your closest friends.
And look, never get bitter when the Word of God hits close to home because everybody knows this is true.
Everybody in this room knows this is true from the men, the married women, the single ladies.
You all know that what I'm saying is true.
Right?
Four, five, or six basic instructions.
This is going to help you out because look, when you first get married there's going to be a lot of things you don't want to do.
And if you can't follow four, five, or six, good luck.
I'm being honest.
Four, five, or six is very, very easy to follow.
And it's always ten to fifteen women.
Right?
This is a sermon, you better make sure you're filled with the Spirit of God because every guy's afraid to say amen and you better believe every woman's afraid to say amen.
You know this is true.
It speaks toward a larger issue of the clique mentality that is forming at our church that many people are seeing and many comments have been made and we've got to end this.
Do you understand this?
I'm not mad at anyone.
I believe the single ladies at our church, they love God.
They're some of the most zealous people.
But I noticed some things kind of creeping in.
And you know what?
This is why I'm talking about the bridal shower because there's these other things that I haven't mentioned.
It's like four, five, or six is very easy to follow.
Okay?
What takes place is eight people, two groups of four.
Nine people, a group of four, a group of five.
Not, well, the two married women over there and the seven singles over here.
And what takes place is the women that are married but don't have young children are kind of like, which group do I go to?
Is it the married women or the single women?
Everybody knows that what I'm saying is true.
Right?
By the way, next week's prayer meeting is going to be very different.
It's one group for the ladies that my wife runs.
And we're going to change the format quite a bit.
I don't want to talk too much about it, but what it's going to end up giving you is a couple prayer partners for the month.
And you single ladies might draw a married woman with kids.
And you're going to have to pray for them every day for the month at the same time.
Because we can't have a division at our church.
We've got to have everybody united together as one.
Unified as a church, not these divisions.
When I was at Verity Baptist in Sacramento, the number one thing Pastor Mendez screamed Amen about when I was preaching was not about repentance of sins, was not about soul winning, not about the King James Bible.
It was about cliques forming at church.
To be honest, I was kind of taken aback when I heard him scream an Amen.
I was thinking, I didn't think that was a major point.
But he considered it a major point.
And you know what? I understand that now because as our church grows, we've got to make sure we have the same love one for another.
Right?
Everybody knows what I'm saying is true.
We need to make sure that we're fully united.
We have the same love one for another.
Not little cliques forming in the church.
It's like, no, we need to be organized.
And look, the one who has the power in this church is me.
Do not test who has the power in this church.
I'm the one who has the power in this church.
When my wife runs activities, it's underneath my authority.
Now granted, when my wife does a ladies tea party, I don't care about the decorations.
I really don't.
It's like, what color scheme do you want?
It's like blue, pink, like what? What do you mean color scheme?
Right? I don't know.
I don't care.
But it's underneath my authority.
And here's the thing, if we have an event here at church, a bridal shower that my wife and I are not hosting, I'd have to approve of the music, the games, and all these things.
And I'm not saying they're going to be bad, but as I said, I don't want to do all that work.
Right? It's not an official church thing because I don't want to have to be involved.
And that's why my wife isn't, you know, messaging all the time because our first responsibility is our own home.
We've got three young kids.
And everybody should realize, yeah, you know what, that is important because you don't want Brother Stuckey quitting the ministry.
And a lot of people think about quitting the ministry.
And look, I'm not planning to quit the ministry.
I'm just letting you know, let's do things decently and in order.
Right?
And look, a couple other things.
After prayer meetings, basic things, I teach these things to my kids.
If other groups are still praying, that's not something that has really been followed recently.
Right?
You know this is true.
You're just surprised I'm saying it.
Right?
Recently, we did a soul winning tip.
And what did I do?
I had to stop my soul winning tip to ask people to be quiet because it said on Friday, I was preaching at the schools.
On Saturday, I was preaching in Pampanga.
I was like, look, my voice.
And I was being humorous, but on the inside, I'm thinking, why should I have to ask people to be quiet while I'm preaching and giving a soul winning tip?
See, this is the quietness here.
That's exactly what I want during the soul winning tip.
Right?
Because there were single ladies hanging out in the mother baby room making a lot of noise.
That's the reason why.
Look, the mother baby room is not for the single ladies to hang out.
It's for moms with young children.
The only time a single lady should be hanging out in the mother baby room is if she's waiting for the restroom to open up.
Do you understand that?
That's the only time.
Otherwise, it's for moms.
You say why?
It's hard to raise young kids.
There's this fear around here that is conducive and helpful to the moms.
And look, to breastfeed your kids, to discipline, or to help them when they're sick, it's like it takes work and time and effort.
We need them to have the space in there to raise their kids.
It's hard.
I'm encouraged by seeing all the moms at our church out soul winning.
Amen?
Isn't that great?
It's amazing.
Do you realize how hard it is?
We got the three kids in the tricycle with my wife inside.
We got all these things packed in.
I've got the stroller up top.
I'm hanging on one hand and I'm like, man, this is getting really painful.
It's hard to go soul winning with kids.
I was encouraged the other day.
We had nobody at the building because everybody was out soul winning.
All the moms out soul winning.
I was like, praise God.
And here's the thing.
Before you have kids, you just don't realize how hard it actually is.
Let us make the atmosphere around this church.
Let's have the younger women and the younger men respect their elders.
Right?
Respect the aged women.
Respect the aged men at the church.
Let us make it conducive where basically you allow yourself to just,
okay, I'll give the advantage to the married women with kids
because I know it's harder for them.
Do you understand?
Basic things, right?
These are very basic things, but these are sorts of things that are creeping in
where basically it's not handling things in the house of God the right way.
Right?
We need to get more professional in the house of God.
I get it.
When I'm giving a soul winning tip, it's not an official church service,
but here's the thing.
I get it.
We have 50 soul winning tips and they start off very basic.
Why is that?
Look around.
We have a lot of new soul winners.
I get it.
We need to train new people.
And a lot of these very basic tips, you're like, what's the point?
The point is we always have new people.
That's the point.
And I get it.
Even preaching sermons.
When I preach sermons, I understand if you've been around me for a long time,
you already know a lot of this.
Don't develop this mindset, well, I already know it all.
Talk about something deeper.
No, no, we need to be established in the things we know
and realize that there's new people that don't know these things.
We need to get more professional in the house of God.
And I'm not specifically only saying the single ladies.
All of us should take heed to this.
Be professional in the house of God.
Take it seriously.
Is there a time to have fun?
Yes.
At the bridal shower, have fun.
At table tennis while you're playing, have fun.
Right?
But during the teaching, it's not a goof off time.
Right?
As I said, I'm not extremely angry with people.
We need to learn lessons from this
because this is just not done properly.
Last second, the church gets inconvenience.
Yes, that does make me upset.
Yes, it does make me mad.
And it just kind of speaks toward a larger issue,
and everybody knows this, there are cliques forming
where the single ladies want to hang out with their best buds.
It's like that's not the atmosphere we want at church.
I get it.
If you're a mom with young kids, you can relate to other moms with young kids.
I understand that.
But we ought to have the same love one for another.
And we ought to make changes here to make that happen.
Look, and I got to be the jerk that stands up and preach.
And look, it's not always just sunshine and roses
when you're the one preaching.
Sometimes you got to deal with stuff.
Right?
But let us make the changes.
Okay?
Where were we?
We're in 1 Samuel 18.
1 Samuel 18.
By the way, second sermon I'm going to be preaching
against a lot of men here, so...
Right?
I mean, ladies just, you know, deal with it
because the men are going to get in.
Some of the men are going to get in the second sermon.
Okay?
So it's just like everybody has the preaching hit close to home.
I mean, didn't Moses sharply rebuke Joshua in the Bible?
What happened?
Joshua, did he get bitter?
Nope.
He became one of the greatest people who ever lived.
All of us.
Look, I can remember a time when I was at Verdi Baptist Church
and I could tell Pastor Menes was talking about me
because it's pretty obvious I'm the one who's going to be going
and he was obviously talking about me.
But he was right.
He said, Brother Stuckey, did you get bitter about it?
I made the change.
All of us, you have the choice.
Bitter heart or an honest and good heart.
And look, to be honest, I practiced this sermon
more than I practiced for a while
because I wanted to make sure I did it in the right spirit
and quite honestly, it was a lot more aggressive
and mean in earlier renditions.
But you know what?
I was really thinking, but here's the reason
why I don't want to present that
because I do believe the single ladies
at our church love God.
They love God and I do believe the fact
they love God, they're able to take
the preaching and realize, you know what?
Brother Stuckey's right.
I mean, it's obvious.
Four, five or six is not what we were doing
and he's exactly right that's the reason
because these are our friends
so let's just hang out with our closest friends, right?
No, just do what Brother Stuckey says.
Just follow what Brother Stuckey says.
Point number one.
The first goal, and by the way,
we're going to get started early on,
we're going to end the second sermon early.
We'll be done on regular time.
I'm not intentionally trying to make it really long
to make you miss the bridal shower, okay?
The second sermon will be shorter.
We'll be done on regular time.
Point number one, the first role,
one thing I want to point out
Point number one, the first role,
one thing I did forget.
I can't remember if I forgot this or not.
Let me just, this should be given.
Never borrow anything at church without asking.
I mean, this is common sense.
Never borrow anything without asking.
It's like, I'm like, this is basic stuff.
It's like, we allow people to borrow stuff.
It's like, Brother Stuckey and Miss Tan go home
They forget their book bag.
They come back, where are all the chairs and tables?
Where is everything?
We got robbed.
None of the ladies took them.
I mean, come on, you don't borrow things without asking.
And this goes in all areas of life.
It's like, no, I didn't steal it.
I just borrowed it from 7-Eleven, right?
It's like, you don't borrow things without asking.
And look, it's like, as I said,
you can have the tables and chairs.
It's like, I'm not sure if there was anything else
that was wanted to be borrowed.
I just don't like to have to last second make decisions.
But you never borrow anything without asking.
All of us should be aware of this.
And if you're not, it's like,
you have to ask ahead of time
and get approval for those things.
You say, why?
It's not free-for-all Baptist church.
I run this church.
I mean, Pastor Mendez has appointed me
to run this church.
And I'll tell you what,
Pastor Mendez was in the military.
You know what that means?
He's strict.
I mean, he's very organized and detailed.
More organized and detailed.
And trust me, you know, he would be a lot,
I mean, he would have already been preaching
on this a while ago with some of the other things
that probably I was too long suffering about,
quite honestly.
It's just like, I'm not coming down too harsh.
These are things that are obvious
that we all realize.
Point one, the first goal of Pastor's wife
is to raise her home.
Point two, realize you cannot be completely
separated from the ministry.
Point four, accept not getting the praise.
As the pastor's wife, you will not get the praise.
It's just the way it is.
First Samuel 19, verse five.
And David went out whithersoever Saul sent him
and behaved himself wisely.
And Saul set him over the men of war
and he's accepted in the sight of all the people
and also in the sight of Saul's servants.
And it came to pass as they came,
when David was returned from the slaughter
of the Philistine, that the women came out
of all cities of Israel singing and dancing
to meet King Saul with tablets, with joy,
and with instruments of music.
And the women answered one another as they played
and said, Saul hath slain his thousands
and David his ten thousands.
In this story, Saul gets very mad.
He gets envious.
He gets bitter.
It's like, how dare they give David
more credit than me.
It's funny, Saul, because no woman got any credit.
Right?
I mean, the fact that women take a backseat
to their husbands, they're the moon in reference
to the sun and the moon and the relationship
as the Bible gives that reference,
it's like they're just not going to get
as much praise.
And this is true for all of us,
no matter what our jobs are.
Our wives oftentimes, they're the ones
changing the diapers, right?
They're the ones feeding the kids,
training the kids.
That's not exactly the most glorious thing
in terms of man's perspective, right?
But those are necessary.
But they often don't get the praise.
I'll give you an example.
If somebody was a new IFB listener
and they visited our church, you know what?
They'd be like, man, it's so great
to meet you, Brother Stuckey.
Right?
If you visit Sacramento, California,
it's great to meet you, Pastor Jimenez.
You visit Faithful Word,
it's great to meet you, Pastor Anderson.
Now, I'm not saying there's anything
wrong with that.
I respect those men, too.
I'm just saying, it's rare,
it's so great to meet you, Miss Tan.
Nobody knows my wife on Facebook.
My wife doesn't really like the crowds,
you know what I mean?
My wife, she's on Facebook,
just to stay in touch with her family.
Don't be mad.
I'm not even friends with her on Facebook, okay?
I talk to her in person one-on-one
since it's just for her family, okay?
But it's just like, you know what?
You're not gonna get the praise.
It's the way it is.
Here's the thing, though.
You endure the stresses,
but you don't get the praise.
Do you understand the difficulty here?
You get all the stress that your husband gets.
The difference is, people say,
hey, Brother Stuckey, that was a great sermon.
Really helped me out.
Right?
But often the wives, they don't get praise.
Right?
Now, this is something for all of us to keep mind of.
Like, for example, I wasn't even
for the Sweetheart Banquet
or the Ladies Tea Party when it started.
And for the married couples,
because I didn't want to do the work.
And I said, okay, but you're gonna do the work
if we do it, right?
When we have events, and many people do this,
you know what?
Make it a point to let my wife know,
thank you very much for doing this event.
And a lot of people do this.
Right?
We have many people that will message us at church
and say, thank you, Brother Stuckey.
Thank you, Ms. Tan.
This was a great event.
We had a lot of fun.
But at the same time, all of us
like to get a pat on the back sometimes.
I also like to get a pat on the back sometimes.
If I go through stress all the time
and then nobody ever thanks me,
it's kind of like, man, why am I even doing this?
That's the attitude that can creep in.
So, you know, realize that, you know what?
My wife is just not gonna get as much praise as me.
That's the way it is.
As a wife, you need to understand that.
As a church member, you also need to understand that.
Make sure you let people know, hey, you know what?
Thank you very much, Brother Stuckey.
Let them know how much you care about them.
Let my wife know how much you care about her.
Right?
Turn your Bible to Acts 20.
Acts 20.
And we're shortening up the last couple points
just for sake of time, Acts 20.
I'll tell you what.
When you're in the ministry,
you're not gonna fully understand this
in the ministry, but it is stressful
and it's a lot more stressful.
When I was in Sacramento,
I didn't have the same stress that Pastor Jimenez had
and now I feel it a lot more, right,
when you run churches, right?
What I used to say in Sacramento,
and this is true, I said that, you know what?
Pastor Jimenez and his wife,
they care about this church more than anybody else.
Do you realize that me and my wife,
we care about this church more than anybody else?
You say, why?
Because our lives are invested.
We've moved across the world
to start these churches.
Our lives are completely invested in this.
Now, I'm not saying that other people don't care
because I do believe that you care.
People are dedicated at this church.
I'm just saying the spiritual leadership
is going to care the most
and one of the big things that brightens us
is not, and of course, we love having the salvations
and it's great having all these salvations,
but the thing that really brightens me is not,
hey, we got this many salvations in a week,
we got this message.
Thank you very much, Brother Stuckey.
Right, that sermon was a blessing.
I learned something from that sermon.
Thank you very much for that event.
That is really what keeps you going
and motivated and happy in the ministry,
just you realize people actually care.
It's like because you invest your time
and love to the best of our ability
and look, let me say this,
we are happy to co-labor with you here
to reach people of the gospel
and it's also nice to know when people
actually are appreciative of what you do.
When you have a young child,
doesn't it feel nice when your child says,
thank you very much, Mommy, for this meal?
Right?
Thank you very much, you know,
for giving this to me.
It makes you feel a lot better.
What's the same thing in any area of life?
I mean, you at your job when your boss says,
hey, thank you very much, you did a great job.
Doesn't that make you feel good?
Right?
And of course, being in the ministry,
those messages, that people being appreciative,
that is really what helps keep you going
and I don't go through down times,
I just try not to put it on my face
because you've got to play the man,
especially if you're the one preaching.
Right?
Last point, be watchful.
Be watchful.
Acts 20, verse 28,
As the pastor's wife, you have to be watchful
of things going on.
Acts 20, verse 28,
Take heed, therefore, unto yourselves
into all the flock over which the Holy Ghost
hath made you overseers,
to feed the church of God which he hath purchased
not sparing the flock.
Also of your own self shall men arise,
speaking perverse things,
to draw away disciples after them.
Therefore, watch and remember
that by the space of three years
I cease not to warn everyone
night and day with tears.
And Paul speaks about watching
and paying attention.
Paul had one big disadvantage.
He wasn't married.
See, here's the thing,
the husband or the pastor,
but when you're married,
the eyes of the wife
can also be watching as well.
This is an important role
because oftentimes women are more perceptive
than men about things.
They notice subtle things
that men oftentimes don't notice.
Give you an example.
When my wife and I on our honeymoon,
we played rock, paper, scissors six times.
She beat me every time.
I was like, oh, man, I'm in trouble.
My wife can read my mind.
We just got married.
We just received things
and understand things and know things
that oftentimes as men
it just goes over our head.
We just kind of don't notice this.
The other thing you have to realize
is that, look, as the leader of this church,
people act differently in front of me
than they might around other people.
When we've had problems with people
in the past couple years ago,
I was shocked at some of the stuff
people had said about me.
I was like, really?
They were always nice to me
and stucky and missed hand
and criticized everything.
They were always nice to me.
I was shocked.
Here's the thing.
As the wife, you can pay attention.
This is true for all of us.
All of us, this is just basic things.
Pay attention to the things
that are going on.
As the wife, though,
you have that advantage
of the added perception
that oftentimes as men
it just kind of goes over our heads.
For a reason.
As the pastor's wife,
you have an important role.
You could say just as important
as the pastor does.
Obviously, that's the person
that God has blessed that person
to be married to,
and you're in it together.
You're not completely separated
from the ministry.
But realize this,
and everyone needs to know this,
the number one role of my wife
is for our own personal home.
Which means sometimes I say
just leave your cell phone away
for a couple hours.
I'm an old-fashioned person.
I don't like the idea
of always having to be ready
to answer every question.
It's not my normal personality for that.
You say why?
It's like, hey, it's dinnertime.
We've got to feed the kids.
Give them showers.
Got to get them ready for bed.
We have a midweek game night
that we do.
We have a lot of distractions
from the world and focus
on our own family.
That is the number one role
of a pastor's wife.
Dear Heavenly Father,
thank you for allowing us
to be here today,
and I ask you to help us
understand this sermon
and understand it in the spirit
in which I attempted to give it God.
Help us to understand that
we need to try to be a little bit
more united as a church God.
In number one,
let's sing a song day by day.
Day by day
and with each passing moment
all together.
Day by day
and with each passing moment
spend my time
to meet my trials here.
Trusting in
my Father's wise disown end
I will prosper
for me or for Thee.
He who's born
is like the one on measure
dreams of truth
and see what He needs best.
Caught in Jesus
is part of many pleasures.
Make them come
of peace and rest.
Every day!
Every day
is a series
with a space
of mercy for each God.
All my tears
even make me cheer.
He who's here
is a spirit of God.
God will take
the law of
His love and treasure.
He sometimes
has all things
I'll be there.
I'll be in measure.
He's the Passover.
He came on last.
I'll be there
with you.
He who leads you
is all who trust.
My body says so much
that I lose
my salvation.
I'll be there
with you.
I'll be there
with joy
and struggle deeply.
Every day
is a series
of a fuller sin.
Once I've
heard the days
of moments eating
till I reach
the promised land.
Amen.