you
it's like what's wrong with you
right?
you
go to Acts 2
you
your
you
Yes, our doctrine
matters.
But you know, having fellowship at church
also matters quite a bit as well.
Turn in your Bible
to Titus 2.
Titus 2.
Point 1
The whole family must be involved
spiritually, publicly.
Church attendance, soul
winning, fellowship activities
all of these things are important.
But you know, also the whole family
needs to be involved spiritually
privately. In your own
home. Things that are not seen by
man. And obviously
you think of having a daily
prayer time with God.
Reading the Bible.
Memorizing the Bible. All of those things are
important. It says in Titus 2 verse 1
The age of women likewise
that they be in behavior has becometh holiness.
Not false accusers, not given
much wine, teachers of good things.
Now when the Bible speaks of
aged women here
this doesn't mean
well they're at least 40 or 50
or 60 years old. It's not about a specific
age.
What it's about
is in the context of being a mom
or a wife.
So let's say for example somebody was
80 years old
but they were never married.
They didn't have any kids.
Well they wouldn't really be an aged woman in this context
because they wouldn't be able to give the advice
on being a mom or a wife.
Because they were never married.
They never had kids. And see here's the thing.
Somebody could be 30 years old
and let's say they've been married for 10 years
and they have 5 kids.
Well you know that is the sort of person
you say hey my child is
sick what do I do?
That's the sort of person you go to
for advice. My sister got
married at 17. By the time she was 30
she probably had I don't know 6, 7
kids?
I lose count. I think they're at 11 now.
I'm 99% confident.
11 kids. It's like by the time
she was 30 I mean she already
had probably like 6 kids.
Well that's somebody who's an
aged woman although 30 years old
is not aged.
That's not old. I mean in general you'd say
that's the prime of your life probably
for most people would say. It's like
but in the context of being a mom
and a wife. Yeah if you've been married
for 13 years
with 6 kids you would be an aged woman
in this context.
And it says that you know behavior
has become with holiness.
Well I mean that's the idea of having a private walk
with God. Not false accusers. Not giving
much wine. Teachers of good things.
That they may teach the young women
to be sober. To love their husbands.
To love their children. Basically
teaching the young women how to
be a mom and
a wife. Now a large part
of this is just by example.
But at the
same time do you realize that
people at church are going to ask the
pastor's wife, hey
you know what? What should I do in this situation?
Right? Or we're having problems at
home. You know how to become a better wife.
Give me advice on raising these
kids. I mean a lot of women at this church
will message my wife and ask questions
and because of the fact she's married
to me it puts her in a position
where a lot of people are going to come to her for advice.
You say well brother Saki
you know that's not fair to the pastor's wife.
Whether it's fair or not
it's a reality.
Look when you are married
into the ministry there are
expectations.
You can't completely separate
yourself from the ministry.
It just is what it is.
Right? I mean if you're married to someone in the ministry
you are going to be involved in
the ministry to some level of degree.
Whether you want to or not.
It's just the way it is.
And it says verse 5
To be discreet
chaste keepers at home good
obedient to their own husbands
that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Well how does an aged woman
do this? By example and
by having that personal walk with God
where you can help instruct
other people. Go to Ephesians
chapter 6.
Ephesians 6.
Now look
if you are a woman that is married
into the ministry
your first obligation
outside of to God
is to your own personal home.
Obviously God is first
your own home is next.
Church is underneath
your own personal home.
You say why? Because even in the
context of being a bishop it starts with your own
home. For me
obviously God is first
my family is
above church.
Now of course I'm at church every week
of course I'm going sowing but here's
what I'm saying out of the necessities
that all of us must do I'm not going to
put church before my family.
You say why? Because
the Bible says you start with your own home.
It ought to be the home first.
Which means sometimes you've got to
allow things to kind of lack a little bit
because you say you know what more important right now
is I just spend time with my family.
Right? That I put
them first I don't put them on
the back burner. It starts with
your own home and whether you're the husband
or the wife in the ministry whether
you're the husband that's ordained or the wife
married into the ministry the home
does come first.
However it is impossible
to be completely separated
from the work involved at
church whether you're the husband
or whether or not you're the wife.
It just is what it is.
Right? I mean you can't
just say well you know what I'm just a pastor's
wife so I'm just not going to be involved with anything
and you know what you're going to fail
in the ministry if that's the mentality
you take. When you get married
and look when you get married as a woman
it's not like you desire
the office of a pastor's wife.
It's not like you desire
the office of a bishop's wife.
But you find a guy you love
and you want to follow and
if he has the desire of the ministry
and he goes into the
ministry it's like you're meant
to be loyal to your husband
and your family and even if you didn't
desire the office
of a pastor's wife because that's not
an office
then
your husband's in the ministry you know you're stuck in it.
It is what it is.
And you know what here's the thing
ministry can be stressful.
It can drive you a bit crazy.
And if you don't have
a personal walk with God
you're going to be miserable.
You're going to hate your life.
And look that's true for all of us.
I mean look you know wives
if you want a husband that loves you and is a
good father and is in a good attitude
he needs to read his Bible isn't that right?
Because think about your own personal life
when you're not reading the Bible much
are you in a good mood or a bad mood?
Bad mood?
Right you have more patience when you're
reading the Bible. You have more patience
when you're dedicated to prayer. All of us
that is the case. Well the ministry
is stressful so if you want to be successful
you have to have a personal walk
with God publicly but also
privately as well.
Point number one
the whole family needs to be involved spiritually
publicly. Point two the whole family
needs to be involved spiritually privately.
Point three nurture.
Point three nurture. Notice what it says in Ephesians 6
verse 4.
And ye fathers provoke
not your children to wrath
but bring them up in the nurture
and admonition of the Lord.
I've said this before
that when my son Zeph
was about to be born
this verse just kind of stuck out in my
mind because you know before
you have kids you're
an expert at raising
kids.
Isn't that the case?
I mean there have been a lot of single people through the
years of this church that were giving advice
to my wife about raising kids
and it's like that's just rude.
You don't know what you're talking about
when you're not married and you don't have kids
it's just like look if you're not familiar
with the situation it's like
you know just don't say anything.
It's as simple as that.
Right? And you know sometimes
for some reason people have struggled
have a problem with this. They don't understand
that they wouldn't. But think about
for example if you know let's say
I'm having an in-depth soccer
conversation with Brother Ehrman.
Right? You know most people in this room are not
that into soccer and you were in the
conversation and you walked over and you felt like
you had to say something.
And you tried to act intelligent.
It would be awkward. It would be embarrassing.
We'd be like that doesn't make sense.
It's like why don't you just stand in front
of the goalie and just wait for the ball to come to you.
There's something called offsides. It's like
you don't know what you're talking about. Right?
But people do this
with marriage and having kids.
Single people will say well if you
want to be a good wife do this.
Why? Because you listened to a sermon online
that told you that? Don't you learn
better via experience than anything else?
And for me
once my son was about to be born
all of a sudden I was like
am I ready for this?
Because a few years before that I felt ready.
And now as Zeph is about
to be born I'm like wait a minute what do I do?
Right? And this verse was
very comforting to me because
it boils it down to two things.
Nurture
and admonition. No parent
does a perfect job.
Every parent makes a lot of mistakes.
But if you provide nurture and
admonition you will be
successful. Right?
That is nurture. By definition
the care for and encourage the
growth of development.
The idea would be
that you're spending time with your kids.
You love your kids. You hug
your kids. You kiss them on the
cheek. They kiss you on the cheek. You spend
time with them. You actually care
about your kids.
Right? Go to 1 Samuel
chapter 7.
1 Samuel 7.
You know
when it comes to our type of church, you know
one thing that we talk about sometime which
I didn't think that could be part of the letter H
is homeschooling. Right? I didn't think about that
until now. But
you know I was actually
homeschooled starting in middle school in
my own personal life. And you know what
we do believe the best pattern is the husband
working and the wife raising the kids. It's not
always possible but it is the best pattern if
that is possible for you. And you know
one thing that people often say is that
you know what as a mom you need to spend
more time invested in your own kids than
other kids. And of course that
makes sense. But you
know a lot of men in the ministry could take the same
advice because you should be more invested
in your own kids than other people's
kids. I should be
more invested in my own family
than your family.
You say why? Because
I'm not married to any women at this church
other than my wife.
Right? My kids
are my kids with my wife are three
kids. I ought to put them above
other kids.
You say why? It starts with the home.
Right? It starts with your
own personal home. And if a man knew not how to rule
his own house how shall he take care of the church
of God? I mean wouldn't it be foolish for
me to spend hours and hours
and hours invested in
Children's Day here and all these activities.
And then my son's like dad
can we throw a ball? You know
eight o'clock at night. Son I'm working on ministry
stuff. I'm too busy.
Wouldn't that be ridiculous?
Anyway here's the thing. This is not just
for someone going into ministry. I mean
this is for all men that work jobs.
Take a break from your job
and spend time with
your family. Show your
family you care about them.
Show your family that you actually love them
that you nurture them. Right?
You say well brother Stuckey that's your opinion.
Okay well let's look at 1 Samuel 7
and let's see who's right
based on what the Bible says versus your
personal opinion that seems right to you.
1 Samuel 7 verse
15
And Samuel
judged Israel all
the days of his life.
Now is Samuel a
good man or a bad
man? It's not a trick question.
Good man.
Right?
This is like that question in
math. You know you got multiple choice
questions and then
there's some really hard questions and it's like
2 plus 1.
And you're like it can't be 3.
This is just too easy. I mean there's no
way. I mean it seems so
obvious it's letter B. I'm
going to go with letter D. Right?
And I do that sometimes on exams
it's like it can't be that simple.
And you over think it right? Samuel is a good
guy. I'm not saying
he's not a good guy. He's a great man who's probably
going to get more rewards in heaven than me.
Probably than any of us. Right?
Notice verse 16 though.
And he went from year
to year in circuit to Bethel and
Gilgal and Mizpah and
judged Israel in all those days.
And what it's saying is that
Samuel is going to
Bethel to judge, to Gilgal to judge,
and to Mizpah to judge. He's going all
over the place.
Well what does that mean?
It means that
most nights during the week he's not
sleeping at his house.
Right? Isn't that what that means?
I mean if you're spending 25%
of your time here, 25% here,
25% here, 25% here,
you're not spending a whole lot of time at home.
They didn't have cars back then.
I mean you travel 50 miles or
50 kilometers, you're not doing that
in an hour.
Look if this was 100 years ago there would
not be Verity Baptist Manila and Verity
Baptist Pampanga.
I wouldn't be able to travel
between the churches.
It would take too long.
Right? But Samuel is judging
at all of these locations. I mean
it's his pattern. He goes around and with his
job, which is in the ministry, he has
gone from home all of the time.
Right?
Verse 17.
And his return was
Derema, for there was his house.
And there he judged Israel and there
he built an altar unto the Lord.
Here are a couple verses that if you're doing
a quick reading of the Bible you might just kind of
read over. Right? Okay, Samuel
is judging everywhere. His home
is at Rhema. You got to stop
and think about what the Bible is saying.
He is a married person with kids.
Right? We're going to see that here in a second.
He's married with kids
and what the Bible is telling you is
he was gone from his house
a lot.
He's gone most nights
in various different locations.
Say, what's wrong with that?
Well, realize that when you're
reading your Bible, if you get to the
end of a verse of a
chapter, it does not mean
that the thought is over.
Keep reading.
Sometimes the start of 1 Samuel
8 is going to tie together with 1 Samuel
7 and if you don't see that here, I don't know what
to tell you. It's obvious it ties
together. 1 Samuel 8 verse 1.
And it came to pass
when Samuel was old that he made his sons
judges over Israel. Now the name
of his firstborn was Joel and the name of his
second Abiah, they were judges in
Beersheba and his sons walked
not in his ways
but turned aside
after Lucre and took
bribes and perverted
judgments. Now look, the
Bible does not say that his sons were unsaved.
That is not what I'm saying.
But they did not
love God. Is that not obvious?
I mean probably saved I would
say but they certainly don't love
God according to verse 3. I mean they're
taking bribes.
Turned aside after Lucre. The Bible says
not going after filthy Lucre if you're in
the ministry, right?
Perverted judgment.
They don't love God like their dad did.
Why?
Is it a coincidence?
Because there's a promise
if you train your children they're going to grow up and love
God, right? Well
what's the problem? He didn't
spend time with them.
That's what you see in 1 Samuel chapter 7.
I mean he's always gone.
How can you get your kids to go
after your ways when you're not around to tell them?
You're not around to teach them.
And what happens is his
kids grow up and they do not love
God. You say why? Because his dad was
too involved with his
work, right?
And you know people use the term
secular work but here's the thing. Since you put
your family first, Samuel's too involved in his secular
work, his job of being in the ministry.
And he puts that above his family.
What takes place? His kids grow
up and they don't love God.
Turn your Bible to Deuteronomy chapter
6.
Deuteronomy chapter 6.
You say, Brother Stuckey,
I'm a father in this room and I
take my kids to the best church in this
area. We're going out soul winning.
I am doing my job
as a father. Well you might be
but that's not the proof of it.
Is that showing nurture to your
kids? You have to actually
spend time with your kids.
And let me just be completely honest.
If you raise your kids in this
church and don't spend time with them
at home, most likely they will
grow up and not love God.
That's what's
going to take place. It's true
for all of us. You say why? Because
kids want parents
that love them.
They want parents that actually care
about them. And here's the thing.
If I'm in the ministry and
don't spend time with my kids,
is it difficult to see that they could
grow up and resent God because of me?
Isn't that common sense?
I mean if I'm so involved
in spiritual work that I never
spend time with my kids,
my kids are going to grow up and they're
going to resent this type of preaching
in this type of church. Why? Because they're
going to feel like that drove daddy away from us.
Right? As a dad
you must have that balance. Yes,
go soul winning every week. But you know what?
Above going soul winning
five times a week or four times
or three or two, make sure you spend time
with your kids also.
Make sure you spend time
and your kids grow up and they
love God and they love you and you have a great
relationship with them. Look that comes
via nurturing your kids
and spending time with kids.
Deuteronomy chapter 6 verse
6.
And these words which I
command thee this day shall be in thine heart.
And thou shalt teach them diligently
unto thy children and
shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house
and when thou walkest by the way and when
thou liest down and when thou risest up.
While that be hard for Samuel to do
if he's gone on Monday,
gone on Tuesday, okay he's around
Wednesday he can teach his kids, gone on Thursday,
gone on Friday, gone on Saturday.
Look if you're gone from your kids
all the time, you can't
talk to them when you're sitting in the house.
I mean if you're not there for family
dinner, you're not there
just talking to have a good time,
how can you teach them?
When they're rising up, think about
getting out of a nap or waking up in the morning.
I mean if you're gone, how are you going to
teach them? When you're walking
by the way, just walking by the way to 7-11
or walking by the way to going soul winning
or wherever, but the idea in Deuteronomy 6
is that you're around your children
and look
if you're not around your children, you can't do this.
You have to actually be around them
to teach them. Now
a lot of people would get this idea
that everything
in your life should just be
church, soul winning, Bible
reading, spiritual things. Now I
don't believe that's the case
and I want you to
understand you can fulfill Deuteronomy
chapter 6 while you're at
McDonald's, while
you're on a Valentine's Day dinner
with your wife, while you're just walking
to 7-11. We live very, very
close to 7-11 so
unfortunately I spend a lot of money at
7-11.
It's like a one
minute walk so we're there
all the time.
And so here's the thing though
when we're walking and we walk by
a cigarette, it's like look
you can test my kids
next week when they're here
you can test my kids and say are cigarettes
good or bad?
You know Zeph and Christabel are going to be like
they're bad. They destroy your body.
You say here's the thing
we're not doing anything spiritual when we're walking
to 7-11 but you're walking by the
way and what I'm saying is
you should always be ready to
teach your kids about the Bible and teach
them lessons in life even if you're not doing
a formal Bible study all the time.
You can just go to the park
have a good time, go on vacation
shoot a soccer or
shoot a basketball or whatever
and you're doing something
that's not spiritual but you can
still teach your kids.
And quite honestly I'm glad that I
can have enjoyment in life
and still be doing what's right in the eyes of God.
There's nothing wrong with shooting a basketball
or kicking a soccer ball or you know
you know your kids are going to be involved in
a lot of games that you know what
you might not be interested in.
Right now turn your Bible
to Hebrews 12.
Hebrews 12.
You see at home
I'm not brother
stuck eating my kids.
I'm daddy.
Now
my rebellious son Ezra
I had to recently teach him this but I got him
calling me daddy now.
But it's like at home I don't want to be
you know pastor stucky, evangelist
stucky, brother stucky. I want to just be daddy.
It's like dad can we
throw this basketball? It's like sure
son. I just want to spend time
with him and just enjoy spending time with
my kids. And what we're talking about is
providing nurture to your kids. Look
I was not raised as an independent
fundamental Baptist.
But I had
parents that spent a whole lot
of time with me. My dad turned
down a lot of job offers to make more money
because he didn't want to be away from the family.
And he could have taken jobs to make
50% more money when our family
growing up we weren't rich by any means.
We were struggling.
And he could have taken jobs to be gone
quite a bit and make a lot more
money and he turned them down.
As a kid I didn't fully comprehend this
but I understand as an adult the temptation.
Take a job and make a lot
more money but
don't see your family.
I'm glad I had a mom and dad that said
you know what we're willing to sacrifice money
to be involved in our kids lives.
I can say that every single
Saturday morning except during
the dead of winter when it's impossible
my dad and I went out to the public
park and we were just kicking a soccer
ball. We were shooting basketball
doing whatever. I played
in a lot of exciting big soccer
games but the times I remember are
just kicking a soccer ball with my dad.
That's what I remember.
You say why? Because kids want
to have that relationship with their parents.
Our son Ezra
he can stand now
and he first
started standing and he'd hold on with one hand
and then he'd look and it's just like
yeah are you impressed mom and dad?
It's like
that's what kids are like. They want
you to care about them.
It might not seem like much as a
parent but that's the most important
thing to the kids.
Every child wants to be like
mom and dad at a young age.
It's a fact.
They want to be just like mom
and just like dad.
Here's the thing. If it's all
spiritual but you never actually spend any time
with them just having fun or doing something they
want to do what could end up taking place is
they could resent spiritual things.
Now look I believe in
soul winning and getting the whole family involved
and we talked about that. At the end of the day though
we try to make it fun for our kids
and realize that
often times kids are not able to go soul winning
for as long as mom and dad.
They get tired. They get hot.
They need water or whatever. So sometimes
we take them out and we come back because
I don't want them to have a bad experience
or start saying oh I don't want to go soul winning.
Because if you ask my kids
about soul winning they're excited.
I mean Christabel the other day
it's like 10 o'clock at night. It's time to sleep.
She's like dad let's go soul winning.
No.
We're going to sleep now.
I'm not saying that she
fully understands it as a
three year old but what I'm saying is that enjoyment
is important.
You need to nurture and spend time
with your kids and look you
start that before you go in the ministry.
Because
the ministry gets very stressful
and it can lead to a lot of
frustration and problems
and you get upset
sometimes. It's like you need to
make sure you have that foundation of
your family serving God publicly and
privately and you're spending time
together and you care about one another. There's
nurture and the other thing is admonition.
Hebrews 12 verse 5
And he had
forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you
as unto children. My son despise
not thou the chastening of the Lord nor faint when thou
art rebuked of him. For whom the Lord
loveth he chasteneth and
scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
If he endure chastening
God dealeth with you as with sons.
For what son is he whom the father
chasteneth not? Now look
the last half of verse 7
is a phrase that I don't even know if you could
say that in our modern day.
Because the reality is there's a lot
of sons and daughters that the parents
don't chasten or discipline their kids at all.
In 2023.
What the Bible is saying is that you know what
if you're a child your parents
are going to discipline you.
It's just the way it is. I mean if they love
you and care about you they're going to say hey
I got to make the corrections when necessary.
They provide the nurture
and also admonition.
Now here's the thing.
You need that balance.
If it is
all nurture
your kids are going to grow up and be spoiled
brats.
Isn't that what you see with kids that just have
everything and never have any discipline?
Mom never says no.
Dad never says no. But if
all you do is provide discipline and you're
just really tough on them
then here's the thing that could also cause
them to grow up and resent you and be very mad
because look kids are going to make
mistakes.
I would say that for me on the balance
sometimes I can be too strict with my
kids and I can forget about the fact that hey
they're young and I should not expect
them to be experts at everything.
Obviously every one of us who's a
parent it is hard.
Isn't it?
You're trying to get that balance.
You're trying to do everything right. It's difficult
raising your kids and doing a good job.
At the end of the day though if you do both nurture
and admonition you're going to do a good job.
Get that balance through the nurture
but also correct your kids if they do wrong.
If they do something wrong
you tell them, you correct them in a
loving way and sometimes that means
discipline in terms of spanking
and sometimes it might just mean you talk
to them and say hey you can't do that
that was rude. You need to make sure you
say you're sorry or whatever.
Verse 8
But if ye be without chastisement
where of all our partakers then are ye bastards
and not sons. Furthermore
we have had fathers of our flesh which
corrected us and we gave them reverence.
Shall we not much rather be in subjection
unto the father of spirits and live?
Did you know that if you're a parent that disciplines
your kids, your kids still love you?
If you provide nurture and admonition
your kids are going to understand.
They're going to realize mom and dad
love me, they're trying to help
me out.
It starts with getting your own house
in order. That means the whole family
is involved spiritually, publicly
also privately
and that you're doing
nurture, spending time with your kids
and also providing admonition.
Now as I said I am
not trying to convince people to go in the
ministry with this sermon series.
Because I think you can get just as much rewards in
heaven without going into the ministry.
And to be completely
honest and I can't see
in the future but if I knew
that there's a family at our church that wanted to go
in the ministry but it would destroy them
I wouldn't ordain them into the
ministry. I would just
say no you know what they're better off
not being in the ministry because it's not going to be good for them.
And look as the husband, as the leader
in the home, you got to figure that out.
It's like
is our family going to be successful?
Can we do this? I mean because if it's going to just be
too much on our family
just don't go in the ministry.
I mean you can be a great family at church
and serve God and get
rewards and look you
don't have to go in the ministry.
Now look if you do have
a desire to go in the ministry then I'm not
trying to hold you back.
What I'm trying to do is
prepare you.
It's kind of like when people are getting married
sometimes people say
oh man it's the greatest thing ever
you're never going to have any problems
and it's like that's not really a proper
balance that you should be giving people.
Yes marriage is
a blessing but
just be honest with them and say hey
but it's difficult because
if they get this idea once I get married
because everybody who's single has this idea
once I get married all my problems
will be gone and then you
realize that's not the case.
Once we have kids we're always
going to be happy
no problems, no
once you have kids you're going to realize that's not
the case. What you're going to realize is
you know what there's always going to be stresses
and problems in life and I'm just trying
to give you a balanced perspective.
If you want to go in the ministry that's great.
Make sure you're ready for it.
Make sure your house is in order.
If there's anything that I said today
that you are lacking
because the reality is
you know about yourself better
than I know about yourself.
If you're lacking in an area
figure it out now
and if you can't
just don't go in the ministry.
Your heavenly father thank you for allowing
us to be here today and I ask you to help
everyone understand this sermon.
Help all of us that are fathers to be good fathers
and to put our families
above our jobs
or you know even other spiritual
things God. Help us make sure that we put
our families first. We love and care about our kids
and help all the families
in here. Husbands and wives do a great job raising
their kids and love one another and have strong families
and I ask you to help men at our church that
do have that desire and will one day go in the ministry
help prepare them. Help them to make changes
if necessary and we just pray these things
in Jesus name. Amen.
Amen for our last song
let's get this hymn book
and let's turn to page number 24
my