Alright, well we're here in 1 Timothy chapter 3, and this is a very famous passage of Scripture
where it gives qualifications for being in the ministry and qualifications for being
a pastor.
And in the Bible you're going to see three different words.
There's pastor, bishop, and elder.
And these things are representing the same position, but they're kind of representing
different roles of that position.
And so what a pastor is, or a bishop as mentioned here in 1 Timothy chapter 3, is basically
someone who's been ordained as the leader and is qualified and he is running that church.
Now me, I am not the pastor of this church because one of the qualifications is having
faithful children, and my kids are still very young, so it's going to take more time before
I would get ordained to that role.
So I'm the evangelist here.
But what it's saying here in 1 Timothy 3, it's giving specific qualifications for being
a bishop or a pastor.
Those things are referring to the same thing there.
So notice what it says here.
Word says, if a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.
So one qualification for being a pastor is that you're a man, okay?
Very clear here.
It's not a gray area, but you know, a lot of people preach different things.
I even saw just either last night or this morning that this famous teacher named John
Piper, he said later on in the chapter that the deacons can actually be women.
And yet it said the deacons are the husbands there as we read as well.
I just saw that.
John Piper, this really famous teacher that everyone loves his books, well, he's like,
well, it could be either.
I mean, they could be a male or a female.
No, I mean, it says that they're the husband of one wife.
I mean, it says they're a male there very clearly, okay?
He said, well, in the Greek, that word could be male or female.
It's like, all right, but we're in the English, my friend, and it says that they're a husband
of a wife, okay?
And so look, the Bible's very clear on this passage of Scripture, but there's a lot of
people that teach different things, especially with the Baptist churches here in the Philippines.
But it says you must be a man, and it also says you must be the husband of one wife,
which means you are married to one woman, okay?
So for Mormons, it's just not going to work, right?
That are married to lots of women, that's not what the Bible teaches.
And it also says having faithful children, okay?
And so it says here in this passage, verse four, one that ruleth well his own house,
having his children, plural, in subjection with all gravity, for if a man know not how
to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?
So qualifications for being a pastor or a bishop is that you're a man that's married
to a woman with multiple kids, but there's also a lot of other characteristics mentioned
there, okay?
Now notice what it said in verse number one, where it says this is a true saying, if a
man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.
The Bible says the ministry is work.
It's something that's difficult.
It's not something that's easy, okay?
So what does the work of the ministry refer to?
Well part of the work of the ministry is soul winning.
That's not all of the work though.
If that was all of the work, then many people at our church would be pastors, right?
I mean because lots of people go soul winning at this church.
Now part of the work of the ministry will always be soul winning, even if you're running
the church no matter how large you are.
Look, if I'm not going soul winning, then I'm not doing the work as the Bible says.
That is part of the work of the ministry.
It's not the only part though.
Another part is preaching sermons, right?
And when you preach sermons, for men in this room that have preached full length sermons,
it's not easy.
It takes a lot of work.
It takes a lot of effort.
Sometimes I write a sermon and then I review it, I look over it and I say, man, I got the
verses but now I got to just move them around, right?
I got all the pieces of this puzzle, but they need to be moved around quite a bit, okay?
They need to fit in their proper place.
And look, preaching a sermon, if you write a sermon, it takes work, it takes time, and
the more time you put into it, the better the sermons are going to be.
I don't just get up here on a Sunday morning and say, man, let's just wing it, all right,
we're in Psalm 53, let's just say something, right?
Now I put in real time, you say, why?
That is part of the work of the ministry, okay?
And you ought to, if you become a pastor one day, put real time into your sermons,
okay?
Now part of it's just writing the sermons.
Another part, though, is studying for the topic, right?
If you just sit down and don't do any study and you don't know what the Bible says about
it, you're not going to be prepared.
So part of that is just every day you're spending a lot of time reading the Bible, a lot of
time memorizing the Bible, and yes, we all need to read the Bible, but obviously I need
to really make sure I'm reading the Bible so I can preach sermons.
Where people are learning new things and are being edified.
That's part of the work of the ministry.
Another part of the work of the ministry is just organizing things.
Organizing the soul winning, trying to make things decently and in order.
And quite honestly, when the Bible refers to a bishop, that's mainly what it's referring
to.
The role, the aspect of the bishop is being an overseer.
Giving oversight, making sure things are organized, okay?
So there are many aspects to the work of the ministry.
I want you to notice this.
At the end of verse one, what it said is this, he desireth a good work.
One requirement for being a pastor or a bishop or an elder is that you desire that work.
You say, Brother Stuckey, do you enjoy preaching sermons?
I do enjoy preaching sermons.
Brother Stuckey, do you enjoy studying your Bible to prepare for sermons?
I do enjoy studying my Bible to prepare for sermons.
Brother Stuckey, do you enjoy writing sermons?
I do enjoy that.
Do you enjoy providing oversight and keeping things organizing and having soul winning
events?
Yeah, you know, it can be stressful, but I enjoy the work, okay?
If you're someone who says, you know what, I don't enjoy all those things, there's nothing
wrong with that.
That does not mean you're less godly.
It just means, you know what, you shouldn't become a pastor, okay?
I don't believe and I've never taught that the person preaching the sermons is automatically
more godly than anybody else.
I don't believe that.
Now obviously the person who's preaching the sermons and running the church needs to be
filled with the Spirit and serving God and they need to be godly, but you can be a great
Christian that is not a pastor.
And you know, we don't really know, but at a lot of churches that are soul winning churches,
we could find out one day that some of the members got more awards than the pastors.
And look, I'm okay with that because I'm trying to serve God, you're trying to serve God,
right?
We're both trying to serve God.
So what I'm saying is this, don't feel pressure to be in the ministry.
You say, Brother Stuckey, but if I'm godly, should I become a pastor and just quit my
job and become into seminary and everything like that?
Well, first off, the Bible doesn't teach going into seminary.
But secondly, you can be serving God and if you do not have that desire, don't go into
the ministry.
Okay, there's nothing wrong with that, okay?
That doesn't mean that you're less godly, okay?
The Bible says you must desire the work of the ministry.
You must desire not desiring the position of pastor.
Not desiring the position.
It's like, oh, I have my long robe and everyone calls me Pastor Stuckey.
It's like, man, it's so awesome to be called pastor.
No, you desire the work.
And if you don't desire the work, don't become a pastor.
And you can still serve God without being a pastor.
Desiring is part of the requirement.
Now sometimes you hear this expression being called to preach, okay?
Now this expression comes up a lot in churches and here's the thing, there are 50 different
interpretations of what being called to preach is.
If you ask 50 different people, they'll have 50 different opinions.
At some Baptist churches, they'll say, when God called me into the ministry, it was just
shining brighter and brighter as I approached closer and everything and I got this fuzzy
feeling and everything.
And it's like, man, I was called to preach.
It's like an angel just came to me and says, bam, I want you in the ministry.
Well, I don't believe that, okay?
That's garbage.
But I will say this, the term being called to preach is used because it's used in the
Bible, okay?
So the question is, what do you mean by being called to preach?
What I believe is this, if you desire the good work, then you're called to preach.
I believe that's what the call is, okay?
Now realize this, somebody could be someone who wants to become a pastor, wants to do
the work, and maybe God has that for their life, but they could disqualify themselves.
There's nothing wrong with having a desire to be a pastor before you're married and before
you have kids, as long as you wait until you do get married and have kids.
And you are qualified and ordained by that church, okay?
So when it comes to are you called to preach, Brother Stuckey, well, it depends on what
you mean by that, okay?
I do believe God has given certain people the ability to teach, and they have that desire,
and that does not mean that they're more godly, but people have different roles, okay?
You say, what is this sermon?
Well, here's what the sermon's about, it has nothing to do with the guys, because the name
of the sermon is married into the ministry.
We're actually talking about the ladies here today, not the men, because I want you to
understand something, I do believe there are certain guys that do have that desire to be
a pastor, and they do enjoy that work, but I want you to understand something.
What you're never going to find is where ladies have that desire to be a pastor's wife, okay?
There are a lot of ladies out there that say, you know what, I want to become a pastor's
wife one day, okay?
That's not really a terminology you see in the Bible, though.
I do believe that certain men, yes, they have that desire, and they want to do that work,
but you don't really see that with ladies where it's like, man, I desire the office
of a pastor's wife, okay?
You don't really see that in the Bible.
Turn in your Bible to Genesis chapter two, Genesis two, Genesis two.
Here's what you have to understand, that when it comes to ladies, okay, according to the
Bible, when you get married, the husband is the head of that home, and the ladies are
meant to be a help meet for that husband.
Genesis two, verse 18, Genesis chapter two, verse 18, and the Lord God said, it is not
good that the man should be alone.
I will make an help meet for him, and see, God tells Adam, I'm going to create someone
fit for you and help meet for you, okay?
What I want you to understand is this, when it comes to ladies, let's say you marry a
guy and he said, you know what, I want to become a pastor, and you know, you get married
to him and everything, and then all of a sudden after two years of marriage, you know,
you have a child and things are busy, he says, you know what, I don't desire that office
anymore.
I don't want to become a pastor, you know, I've changed my mind.
You know what, as a lady, you support your husband and you're okay with that.
You don't say, well, I married you because you were going to be a pastor.
It's like, well, if you're not going to become a pastor now, then I obviously married the
wrong person, okay?
Well, the Bible doesn't teach that, because the Bible teaches that you're a help meet
for that guy, okay?
And so if you marry a guy, you know what, it ought to be because you love that guy,
and you want to follow that guy whatever direction he goes, and if he decides, you know what,
I don't want to be a pastor anymore, you have to be okay with that and support him, okay?
But the contrary is true as well.
Let's say you get married to someone and they don't want to be a pastor, and then all of
a sudden, you know, as you're married for three or four years, all of a sudden they
decide, you know what, I've been thinking about this and you know what, I do want to
be a pastor, I believe it's a good work, I enjoy it when I get to preach, I enjoy being
involved in the work, I believe it's needed and I want to fill that role.
It's like as a lady, you need to support your husband in that decision.
What are we saying?
It means you support your husband no matter which road he goes to, okay?
So for ladies, you're not really going to see that a lady has the desire to be a pastor's
wife, but the lady should support their husband no matter what direction he goes, okay?
Now turn in your Bible to 1 Timothy 3, 1 Timothy chapter 3.
And so look, if you say, you know, let's say for example, you know, one day, you know,
your husband becomes a pastor or whatever starts a church and you say, you know, I don't
know, I just don't feel that desire, I don't feel like God called me to be a pastor's wife.
Well, I mean, the Bible doesn't use that terminology.
It's like, okay, you know, you didn't feel like, man, you know, my whole life I've been
training for just being a pastor's wife.
I mean, we should be training to be godly no matter whether we're men or women, okay?
But it's like, yeah, because you know what, that's not something the Bible really mentions
that basically you have this desire to be a pastor's wife.
You should support your husband no matter what direction he goes.
Now obviously as believers, we should say, hey, I have a desire to be a godly person
and to serve God, but you must realize you can serve God even if you're not a pastor,
okay?
So it is okay if your husband says, I just want to be a supporter of that church and
help out in whatever way I can.
It's like, you know what, that's okay because people can serve God that way.
So as a lady, it's like, yeah, you know what, you're not necessarily going to have that
desire.
We say I want to be a pastor's wife, but you should support your husband no matter which
direction he goes.
Now, let me just say this.
This is a pretty specific sermon, but we can all learn from the word of God no matter what
the topic is, okay?
Yes, it's a specific sermon about being married into the ministry, but look, even if you're
not married or even if you're a guy or whatever where you're hopefully not going to marry
a wife that becomes a pastor or whatever, look, you can still learn from this sermon.
All of us can always learn from the word of God.
Number one, I want you to understand this, that when it comes to the ministry, point
number one is effort.
There is a lot of effort or work involved in the ministry.
There's a lot of effort.
It says in verse 1 of 1 Timothy 3, turn to 1 Timothy 3, 1 Timothy 3 verse 1, this is
a true saying, if a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.
The Bible says the ministry is work.
It's busy.
When it comes to the effort involved in being in the ministry, it is a busy thing.
There is a lot of work to do.
Go to 1 Samuel 7, 1 Samuel chapter 7, 1 Samuel 7.
But what you need to understand, all of us in this room, even if you're not a pastor's
wife or an evangelist's wife, is that when it comes to that effort, when a person gets
married, two become one, right?
The effort of being in the ministry is shared between husband and wife.
Now obviously I'm the one that is getting up and preaching these sermons, but I want
you to understand that when it comes to the effort involved, there is some shared responsibility
with the husband and the wife.
The wife is going to be involved in that as well, even though she's not the one preaching
the sermons.
1 Samuel 7 verse 15, notice this, and Samuel judged Israel all the days of his life, and
he went from year to year in circuit to Bethel and Gilgal and Mizpah and judged Israel and
all those places.
Now Samuel was obviously a very godly person, and I believe he's probably more godly than
I will ever be, but I will say we can learn from the mistakes of people in the Bible.
And Samuel, although he was a godly, in verse 16 we actually see him making a mistake.
And we're going to see that when we continue through to 1 Samuel 8, and the mistake is
this, he is too busy.
He's doing too much.
He's going to too many places, okay?
The Bible says, be not righteous over much, and you can dive a little bit too much into
the ministry and forsake your family a bit, which is a mistake, okay?
Notice what it says in verse 17, and his return was to Ramah, for there was his house, and
there he judged Israel, and there he built an altar onto the Lord.
So here's a man who's going from place to place, year by year, what you have to understand
is that he's not always back every night.
Do you understand that?
As he's judging from place to place, look, transportation was not as easy back then.
He is gone through the week oftentimes, which means his wife and his children are going
to be left alone oftentimes during the week, because he's traveling in circuit from place
to place.
You know, in America we talk about hundreds of years ago, they called them the circuit
riding preachers, where they would ride on a horse from town to town, and they'd stay
there for a week and preach and everything.
The problem is you're gone from your family when you do that, okay?
And Samuel was a godly person, but he's judging from place to place to place.
You say, how do you know that he made a mistake doing that?
Well, notice 1 Samuel 8 verse 1, 1 Samuel 8 verse 1, and it came to pass when Samuel
was old that he made his sons judges over Israel.
Now the name of his firstborn was Joel, and the name of his second Abiah.
They were judges in Beersheba, and his sons walked not in his ways, but turned aside after
Lucre and took bribes and perverted judgment.
Let me ask you a question.
Were Samuel's children, were his sons godly?
No, they weren't.
Now I believe they were probably saved, but they weren't godly.
Now doesn't the Bible promise that if you raise your children correctly that they will
serve God, that they will follow in the ways they were taught?
Why is it Samuel's children didn't do that?
Because Samuel's gone during the week.
He's not around his family.
He's a little bit too busy, okay?
Here's the thing about the ministry.
The ministry is busy, and there is always more you can do.
There are always more doors to knock.
There is always more time to prepare for sermons and to read the Bible and things like that.
And look, those are all good and godly things, but when you're running a church, you need
a proper balance in these things.
Because oftentimes we see Baptist preachers that are too involved in the ministry, and
they can forsake their family, okay?
Now when it comes to the ministry, it's busy, but what I want you to understand is basically
the way the church is run by the evangelist or pastor, that will also affect the spouse,
okay?
There's a lot of busy work involved in the ministry, and that to a degree is shared between
the husband and the wife.
Go to Luke chapter 2, Luke chapter 2, Luke 2.
You say, why is that?
Well, because if I sit at home all the time in my free time when I'm not working, and
all I do is read the Bible, and all I do is memorize the Bible, and I'm not spending any
time with my kids, you know what?
It's going to make the life of my wife a lot more busy, because I'm not really helping
out with things that I should be, okay?
There is a proper balance you must strike, and if anybody in this room, one day you go
into the ministry, hey, if you have that desire, as in you're a guy, that's a great thing.
It's like, praise the Lord for that, but let me say this, be very careful not to forsake
your family to serve God, because God requires you to actually be there for your family,
okay?
Luke chapter 2, verse 49.
So the ministry is busy, that's part of the effort, but I want you to realize this, the
ministry is stressful, okay?
Luke 2, verse 49, and he said on to them, how is it that you sought me?
Wist ye not that I must be about my father's business?
Jesus refers to the work of the ministry as business, okay?
Now obviously as a church, this is a spiritual work, but you need to understand that if you
own a business and you operate a business, it's going to be organized, you have to take
it seriously, you can't just have this attitude, well, just kind of do it, no, you got to take
it very seriously, and you know what, it can be stressful being a business owner, right?
There's a lot of work, but it's also something that can be very stressful, and see, the work
of the ministry is like a business in a lot of ways, and you know what, it can be pretty
stressful.
You say why?
Because you have to make a lot of decisions, right?
I mean, every week there are decisions that need to be made and you're running things
a certain way.
I mean, good night, ever since this COVID thing started, there are a lot of decisions
to make, and you know, every week from week to week, it's kind of stressful, am I making
the right choice, am I doing things right?
There's many different directions you can go with things.
It's tough to make those decisions, and it can be stressful, okay?
So when it comes to the ministry, look, there is effort involved, and you must understand
that as a pastor or an evangelist or someone is running a church, a lot of that effort
gets shared with the person they marry, okay?
Now especially that's true if the person running the church dives too much into the ministry.
That can put undue burden and stress on the spouse, okay?
It's not an easy balance to strike because there are always more doors to knock.
You know, I could do more soul winning and read the Bible more, and we all need to work
hard, but we need to have a proper balance on things, okay?
So number one, the effort involved, that's something that can be shared.
Now turn to 1 Kings 2, 1 Kings Chapter 2, 1 Kings 2, 1 Kings Chapter 2.
So first we looked at the effort involved when it comes to being a pastor's wife or
an evangelist's wife, and you know, a lot of that busy work will get kind of pushed
aside to the wife as well.
She will be more busy if her husband's a pastor and he's doing the work, okay?
Number one, we saw the effort involved.
Number two, let us look at the evaluation, okay?
Sometimes it's your job after every six months you get, you know, an evaluation from your
boss.
They'll kind of go through a list and they'll say, well, here's what you did good, here's
what you did bad.
And you have monthly evaluations or yearly evaluations where they kind of grade your
performance and you're able to see, hey, how am I doing, okay?
When it comes to the ministry, these evaluations that you get from people, whether they are
complaints or compliments, these are things that can come weekly, okay?
You don't really know when these evaluations come.
And when it comes to complaints, we can see in the Bible that the wife of the pastor actually
gets more complaints than the husband, okay?
First Kings 2, notice what it says, First Kings chapter 2 verse 12, then sat Solomon
upon the throne of David his father, and his kingdom was established greatly.
And Adonijah the son of Hagath came to Bathsheba the mother of Solomon.
And she said, comest thou peaceably?
And he said, peaceably.
He said, moreover, I have somewhat to say unto thee.
And she said, say on.
And he said, thou knowest that the kingdom was mine and that all Israel set their faces
on me, that I should reign.
Howbeit the kingdom is turned about and has become my brothers, for it was his from the
Lord.
And now I ask one petition of thee, deny me not.
And she said unto him, say on.
So here you have Adonijah that is asking request from Bathsheba, from Solomon's mom, okay?
And he said, speak I pray the unto Solomon the king, for he will not say thee nay, that
he give me Abishug the Shunammite to wife.
And Bathsheba said, well, I will speak for the on of the king.
So you see that Adonijah has a request, okay?
And you know what happens?
He comes to Solomon's mom, not to Solomon.
You say, why?
Because he figures if it comes from Solomon's mom, then Solomon's more likely to say, okay.
When it comes to this church, when it comes to people having opinions or complaints, usually
they tell my wife, they don't tell me.
That's the reality, okay?
And I understand you see this in the Bible, it makes sense because you say, well, here's
the thing, you know, it's more likely if, you know, Solomon's mom says this, he's more
likely to grant the request, okay?
Now it doesn't work out too well for Adonijah here, right?
Because he ends up getting killed for this request, okay?
Now you're not going to get killed at this church if you ask my wife something or whatever.
I'm not making that application, okay?
But I am saying this, it is true that oftentimes people will come to the wife of the pastor
when they have a request, okay?
Now as the person running the church, I'm not always aware of this because, you know,
honestly, people don't usually come to me with complaints.
They more likely come to my wife with complaints, okay?
And you kind of see that here in 1 Kings 2.
Go to Job chapter 2, Job chapter 2, Job chapter 2.
And I'll tell you this, that's true at any church, okay?
Trust me, I've talked to a lot of pastors, you know, about in running a church, trying
to get advice and wisdom and everything.
That's true at any church, that people will come to the wife and make complaints or suggestions
or whatever more than they will to the husband, okay?
That is very, very common at churches.
So this is a sermon that obviously for my wife, this is a sermon meant to be edifying,
but also all of us to understand these things from a biblical perspective, okay?
When it comes to evaluations that are given, it's very rare, okay?
I'm not saying it never happens, but it's very rare if someone comes to me and has a
complaint about something or has a suggestion.
Usually they come to my wife and, you know, my wife will tell me about it, right?
Just like you see in that story, Job chapter 2, Job chapter 2.
Now in Job chapter 2, we see Job and, you know, obviously Job has gone through a lot
of problems in his life.
His children are killed.
He loses his money.
He loses his health.
We see that in the book of Job.
And I want you to see that Job actually reacts pretty well to all this.
Notice what it says in Job 2, verse 7.
So went Satan forth from the presence of the Lord and smote Job with sore boils from the
sole of his foot onto his crown.
And he took him a potsherd to scrape himself withal, and he sat down among the ashes.
Verse 9, then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity?
Curse God and die.
And so his wife basically loses her emotions, and she says, Curse God and die.
Now I don't think Job's wife is ungodly.
I think she was a godly lady, okay?
But when all of your kids are killed instantly and you lose all your money, you're going
to be emotional.
And what you need to understand is women are more emotional than men, right?
The Bible says women are the weaker vessel.
So I want you to understand, if somebody came to me and complained about something, if somebody
came up to me and says, you know, Brother Stuckey, I don't really like your preaching
very much.
Quite honestly, it wouldn't really bug me that much.
I mean, I'd be a little bit upset, but it wouldn't bug me that much.
It would bug my wife more than it would bug me.
You say, why?
Because women will be more emotional about things, okay?
Verse 10, but he said unto her, Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh.
What?
Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?
And all this did not Job sin with his lips.
I don't believe his wife's reaction is like this because she's ungodly.
I believe his wife's reaction is like this because, you know, she's emotional.
And you know, she's obviously everything that's happened, she's going to be emotional about
this.
Now turn to Proverbs 27, Proverbs 27, Proverbs 27.
So when it comes to evaluations, the pastor's wives, they'll get more complaints and suggestions
and things like that.
They get more complaints, but this is also true.
The wife of the pastor, the wife of an evangelist, they never get any credit for anything.
They do not get credit from people.
They get complaints, they don't get credits, okay?
What am I saying by that?
Here's what I'm saying.
Let's say, for example, I preach a sermon and you think it's a really good sermon, right?
And look, I'm encouraged when people tell me, hey, that was a good sermon and everything.
I mean, obviously I like compliments and it encourages me that it's worth doing the
work.
And sometimes people say, Brother Stuckey, that was a good sermon.
I learned something, it helped me, it edified me.
And man, I feel great when people compliment you.
But here's the thing, nobody ever comes to my wife and says, man, that was a good sermon
because she's not the one preaching, right?
And so when it comes to credit that's given, by and large, 95% of the time, the pastor,
the evangelist, is the one who gets credit for things.
I mean, if you ever go on YouTube, you can look on YouTube and people come and look,
they mean well by it, there's nothing wrong with it.
But people say, man, Brother Stuckey, you are doing an awesome job running that church,
right?
Brother Stuckey, man, you're just doing great in the ministry.
You are tearing it up out there, right?
But you'll never see somebody say, man, you know, Mrs. Stuckey, you're really tearing
it up.
All the credit goes to me, right?
My wife doesn't get credit for the stuff she does.
Okay?
Now, look, I understand this because, look, when Pastor Jimenez preached a good sermon,
I never went to his wife and said, man, you know, I would tell Pastor Jimenez you did
a great job preaching this sermon.
So I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that.
I'm just helping us be aware of that.
Then, look, I get credit for stuff.
My wife, she doesn't get credit for stuff usually.
Okay?
Now I'm not saying it never happens, you know, I'm sure ladies will compliment for various
things.
I mean, there's a lot of stress involved with the ministry and oftentimes the ladies of
the wife will get a lot of complaints their way during the day.
It's like, I come home from church and they're like, man, I got like five compliments.
I'm feeling great.
Man, it was awesome.
And it's like, it doesn't work that way with the wife of an evangelist.
She is more likely to get complaints as opposed to credit.
Okay?
Notice what it says in Proverbs 27, verse 2, Proverbs 27, verse 2, let another man praise
thee and not thine own mouth, a stranger and not thine own lips.
Now all of us like to be praised from time to time.
I mean, if we're honest, we like getting credit for stuff.
Okay.
And the Bible says, let somebody else praise you.
Okay.
Now, as far as I can tell, I try not to praise myself.
I try not to do it.
I mean, I've, I've heard people preach in sermons and like the whole sermon is like
their biography about how great they are.
And it kind of blows my mind sometimes.
I remember, you know, I was at a church and I was in their Sunday school class and I was
just visiting a church of my friend.
And I'll tell you, I learned a lot about that pastor that day and, and look, the guy
was a very small guy and he talked about his lifting accomplishments and look, there's
just no way.
It's like, I mean, he, he, he weighed like, you know, 50 less pounds than me and he benched
like 500 pounds.
And he sang that during the sermon, how he's like, man, you know, he was talking about
soul winning.
And he said, you know, man, one of my techniques, I'll go to these, these parks and I'll challenge
these teenagers to play basketball.
This guy's like 50 years old and he would be about this tall on me and he says, man,
I would always beat those teenagers one-on-one and then I'd give them the gospel afterwards.
And he's like, that's how I got lots of people saved.
This was part of his sermon during Sunday school and I'm just thinking, I don't know
what that has to do with Luke chapter five, but you know, he was praising himself and
look, the reality was when, when I heard that, I just, you know, the only time I've heard
him preach, it left a bad taste in my mouth.
Like, why are you praising yourself?
We're not to praise ourself, but what I want you to understand is this, when it comes to
credit or praise that is given, I get credit for stuff around here, right?
I mean, you know, and it encourages me.
I go on YouTube and someone says, man, that was a great sermon, brother Stuckey.
I get that credit.
I get that praise from time to time and you know what?
It makes you feel good and stuff like that, but I do want you to realize, and I want myself
to always be reminded about this.
My wife never gets that credit.
Okay.
And look, it makes sense.
She's not the one preaching the sermons.
I'm just saying it's something we should be aware about.
Okay.
Now turn in your Bible to Ruth chapter four, Ruth chapter four, Ruth four, Ruth chapter
four, Ruth chapter four.
And look, you know, this, this is important for, for people in this room that are one
day going to be pastors as the husband and as the wife, you need to be aware of this.
Okay.
As the husband, you need to make sure that you're, you're, you're spending time with
your wife and you're complimenting her and you're encouraging her and you need to make
sure that as you're going along serving God, you don't forsake your wife along the way
because it's going great for you.
Okay.
You need to make sure you're encouraging her and you're doing this together as one.
Okay.
As the wife's in this room, you do need to realize this though, that when it comes to
the ministry, there's a lot of effort you're doing and you know, it's tough when you're
doing a lot of work and you don't get credit for it.
Right.
And that's what makes it difficult.
In many ways, the job of a pastor's wife is more difficult than the job of a pastor.
Right.
I mean, I, I could come here on a Sunday morning and let's say for example, you know, my son
is just really makuli one day and he's just acting really bad and everything like that.
You know, during the sermon he's screaming and everything and, and stuff like that.
But then I just get up here and I'm just screaming about how we need to go soul winning.
Man, people are like, man, brother Stuckey, that was awesome.
And it's like, you know, they would look the opposite way at my wife because you know,
my son's acting up.
Right.
That's just kind of the way it is when it comes to ministry that the wives, they don't
really get credit.
The husbands get credit and it's something we all should be aware of.
Okay.
Now, Ruth chapter four, I want you to notice something.
Ruth chapter four, verse 13.
So Boaz took Ruth and she was his wife and when he went in under her, the Lord gave her
conception and she bare a son.
And the women said unto Naomi, blessed be the Lord, which hath not left thee this day
without a kinsman.
So here in Ruth chapter four, it sounds like Naomi's getting a compliment.
Now, if you remember the story, you know, I love the book of Ruth, but Naomi's husband
Alem Alek, he basically moves his family to Moab for the, for the cause of money and he
makes a bad decision.
And her life gets screwed up because of her husband, right?
He dies, their kids die and she's left alone and everything in the country with her daughters
in law and her life is really messed up.
They finally come back and Ruth stays with her, although Orpah doesn't and everything
and things work out.
Ruth gets married and it's like, man, blessed be the Lord, which, which hath not left thee
this day without a kinsman.
But notice this, that his name may be famous in Israel.
So it says his name may be famous.
Do you notice how basically the emphasis is still on the guy that his name is remembered?
Now I want you to understand this.
When this is said, she takes this as a compliment and see what we need to understand.
And if you're a lady that ever, you know, your husband goes in the ministry, if your
husband gets a compliment, that was a great sermon.
You should personally take that as a compliment for yourself as well.
That's the reality.
Because husband and wife become one, right?
Husband and wife become one.
And so look, although my wife is not going to get credit on, man, you preached a great
sermon, when somebody compliments me, that's a compliment to both of us.
Okay.
In this here, Naomi, you know, she's told that his name may be famous in Israel and
what we need to remember, and all ladies need to remember this, you are a help meet for
your husband.
Okay.
If your husband becomes like the greatest engineer and makes lots of money and everything
like that, there's a famous phrase that behind every good man, there's a good woman.
Okay.
And if your husband is successful, you should take that as credit for yourself as well.
You say, why?
Two become one and there are shared responsibilities in things.
Okay.
So no, it's not going to be that common that my wife's going to get credit for something.
But if I get a compliment about something at this church, that is a compliment to both
of us.
Okay.
Now turn in your Bible to Acts 14, Acts chapter 14, Acts 14, and look, that's the way Naomi
takes it here.
And you have to understand that in this story, Naomi's husband really screwed up.
I'm not saying he wasn't saved.
I'm not saying he was ungodly.
I think he probably just took steps in the wrong direction.
And as we saw this morning, if you go down the wrong path, you don't know what the end
of it is.
I believe it was probably a godly person who just chose poorly in life and it destroyed
his wife's life.
But even after that, his wife, Naomi is happy that his name will be remembered.
She doesn't hate her husband.
She doesn't criticize her husband.
I mean, she praises her husband and she loved her husband and she wanted to make sure that
his name was not forgotten.
And as ladies, you must remember, because life gets difficult, but you stay home, you're
raising the kids, man, you got 20 poopy diapers, screaming kids all day and everything like
that.
You're like, oh man, you know, look, you're designed to be a help meet.
And there are different roles God gave for men and women.
Okay.
And it can be very difficult being at home, especially now, like during this whole coronavirus
because of the fact, you know, kids are not allowed out, it is tough for ladies that have
to be at home and they're not allowed out because of decisions that are made.
That's a difficult thing to do.
But I want you to realize, men and women are given different roles in life, and whatever
your role is, you embrace that role.
You dive into that role and do the best you can.
Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with all thy might, the Bible says.
And when there's compliments given to the husband who is more front and center, those
should be taken as compliments for both of you.
Okay.
Acts 14.
And so point number one, we looked at efforts.
Point number two, we looked at evaluation.
Point number three, let's look at expectation.
Okay.
Expectation.
The expectations put on a man in the ministry or the wife of a man in the ministry, oftentimes
they can be a little bit too much.
Sometimes those expectations are a little bit overboard, right?
People expect that I'm going to walk on water or something like that.
Like, man, brother Stuckey, he's never going to be angry, right?
Because he's running the church, so surely he never loses his patience.
He never gets angry.
Well, look, if you've been at this church since the beginning, you've seen me angry,
right?
You've seen me times where I'm obviously just not in a good mood when I show up and it's
like, yeah, you know what?
I can be the same way that anyone can.
I still have to get up here and preach, but yeah, I'm not always, just everything's going
perfect, right?
I'm no different because I'm a man just like all of you, right?
We're just humans.
Notice what it says in Acts 14 verse 14, which when the apostles Barnabas and Paul heard
of, they rent their clothes and ran in among the people crying out and saying, sirs, why
do you these things?
We also are men of like passions with you.
Paul and Barnabas are like this.
They said, we are men of like passions as you are.
I mean, you struggle with these things.
We struggle with these things.
You have trouble reading the Bible sometimes.
We have trouble reading the Bible sometimes.
You have desires to do wrong things.
We have desires to do wrong things.
He says, you know what?
We struggle with things just like you are.
We're not Superman, right?
We're not just some magical person where everything's perfect.
No, we struggle with things also.
Okay.
It's like, you know, the Bible says this, there's no temptation taking you, but such
as is common to man.
And the same things that guys in this room struggle with, look, I would struggle with
the same things.
Right?
I mean, we all have a sinful flesh and Paul and Barnabas said, we are men of like passions.
Okay.
Go to James chapter five, James five, James five.
I mean, in the Bible, you see these, these men of God that just do amazing things and
you see these same men of God just do terrible things because they are men of like passions
with you.
Right?
And so when it comes to putting too much pressure, obviously mainly the sermon is about the being
married into the ministry, not choosing to be in the ministry, but being married into
the ministry.
But, you know, as a guy, yeah, people sometimes could have too high of expectations for me.
Yeah.
You're going to see me make mistakes.
You're going to see me say wrong things or have a bad attitude just like anybody else
would.
And sometimes people are going to put too high of expectations on the wife and expect
that she's just, man, she's going to be perfect at everything.
It's like, do not put too high expectations on anybody.
We are all sinners saved by grace.
I don't claim to be perfect.
I claim to make mistakes.
Obviously somebody can disqualify themselves from the ministry if they get caught in a
major sin like adultery or, you know, something major the Bible speaks about.
But look, when it comes to sins that are common to man and just everyday things, look, hey,
I sin.
I mess up.
I'm not perfect.
Okay.
Notice what it says in James 5 verse 17, Elias, referring to Elijah.
Elias was a man subject to like passions as we are.
Elijah is a man who had the same passions, the same desires as anybody else.
Okay.
He prayed earnestly that it might not rain and it rained not on the earth by the space
of three years and six months.
Okay.
Here's a man who has the same sinful desires as everybody else.
And guess what?
He prayed and it did not rain for three and a half years.
And yet the same man later on in the Bible, he says, basically I'm done living for God.
I just want to die and go home to heaven.
Right?
You say, why?
Because he's a sinner just like anybody.
He's a man who does something mighty and he also makes mistakes.
It's like, look, if you're at a church, no matter how godly your pastor is, you know
what?
You're going to see him when he's doing great things for God and you're probably going to
see him in a bad mood sometimes.
You say why?
Because we're all sinners.
We're not perfect.
We have like passions.
We are all struggling and striving to live for God and we fall short every single day.
Okay.
Turn in your Bible to Proverbs 22.
Proverbs 22.
Be very careful not to have too high of expectations for anybody.
Right?
And, and here's the thing when it comes to a church like ours, many of us in this room,
we have pastors that, you know, we really like, you know, pastors we respect and we've
maybe listened to their sermons.
It's like, look, if somebody you respect that lives in another country ends up, you know,
committing some major sin or getting disqualified for the ministry, that should not affect you
personally.
You say, why?
Because of the fact that's not you.
It doesn't involve you and it's just like, you know what?
Be very careful not to hold people to too high of a standard.
It's like, look, you have people in the Bible that did great things for God in the Old Testament,
but you know, if they were pastors in the New Testament time, they would have disqualified
themselves from ministry.
Now they can still go and serve God after that, but not as a pastor if they've disqualified
themselves.
But it's like, look, don't allow that to affect you.
Don't have too high of expectations because even in the Bible, look, you see mistakes
from everybody in the Bible.
Because we are sinners, we make mistakes and do not have too high of expectations, whether
it's a pastor, whether it's a soul winner at the church, whether it's a pastor's wife.
Look, everybody at this church, if you're here long enough, you'll have times you get
into an argument with someone, you'll have times you have a bad attitude.
That will take place.
Don't have too high of expectations for people.
Proverbs 22.
So oftentimes people have too high of expectations for the wife of the pastor, but oftentimes
they have too high of expectations for the kids of the pastor and his wife.
Notice what it says in Proverbs 22 verse 15, foolishness is bound in the heart of a child,
but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Notice how it says foolishness is bound in the heart of a child.
Does that say foolishness is bound in the heart of a child as unless, unless it's the
child of a pastor, unless it's the child of an evangelist, because magically our kids
are never going to do anything wrong, right?
The Bible does not say that.
Foolishness is bound in the heart of every child.
Let me tell you something.
Every single one of us, when we were kids, we were foolish.
You say, why would you say that brother Stuckey?
Because that's what the Bible says.
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child.
But the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
What's that referring to?
It's referring to spanking.
You say, brother Stuckey, do your kids ever act foolish?
Yes, they do.
Okay.
Now Christabel is young enough.
She gets away with it.
You know, she's only seven months, but it's like, I can see it coming.
It's like, you know, sometimes I warn her, you know, it's like, well, if Zeph gets a
spanking, I was like, you better see that Christabel.
You better realize it's coming one day.
You say, why?
Because you know what?
Foolishness is bound in the heart of children.
And, you know, when children act up, according to the Bible, you must provide discipline.
Right?
And look, if you've been at this church, you know that I discipline Zeph when he acts
up.
Right?
You say, why?
Because Zeph is very energetic.
And you know, sometimes he can act foolish.
Sometimes he can do things that are wrong.
Now you might not realize this, we're going to talk about this here in several weeks in
a sermon series coming up.
But you know, when it comes to fights that happen at church, one of the biggest reasons
why fights happen at church is because the kids of people that are serving God get into
an argument.
Right?
Two five-year-olds get in an argument about something.
And you know what the reaction of a parent is?
What did your child do to my child?
That is what everybody's reaction is.
You're automatically going to want to take the side of your child, right?
Which is a big mistake to do.
We'll talk about that here in several weeks.
But what I want you to understand is everybody's kids are going to act up from time to time.
They are not perfect.
Right?
Now obviously when they act up, they must be dealt with.
The Bible speaks about spanking, but the Bible said foolishness is bound in the heart of
a child.
And look, all of us, we were foolish at one time.
And look, past the age of two, past the age of three, I did a lot of foolish things, even
though my parents were very godly, even when I was a teenager.
We talked about it last week, you know, as guys, we talked about some of the foolish
things we did, where we could have killed ourselves for being idiots when we were teenagers.
And it's like, yeah, you know what?
Foolishness is bound in people that are young.
And as they get older, they mature more and learn these things.
But look, the Bible says foolishness is bound in the heart of a child.
Be careful to put unrealistic expectations on the children of the pastor or the evangelist
or whatever, okay?
Now obviously if I spend time with my children, they're going to turn out right.
The Bible speaks about that.
But at the same time, there are still going to be times you see them make mistakes.
I know a lot of godly men that are serving God, that are pastors, and it's like, you
know, at a young age you see their kids, they make mistakes.
They do things that are wrong.
Kids that love God, because look, kids are foolish.
That is what the Bible says, okay?
And so we need to be very careful not to put too high of expectations on the children,
okay?
Now turn your Bible to 1 Corinthians 9.
First Corinthians 9.
Now let me say this, that when you are an evangelist or a pastor, generally this is
how you're going to be in your personality.
You are going to be very long suffering with church members, and you are going to have
unrealistic expectations on your kids and on your wife.
That's generally the way it works, right?
You know, when it comes to people that are at this church, it's like, man, they're reading
the Bible, praise the Lord, they read through the Bible, you know, once a year.
But it's like, I will naturally have too high of expectations for my son.
And I need to be very careful not to do that.
Now everybody needs to serve God, but we need to be very careful.
When my son is six years old, it's like, you know, my son should be able to call me
daddy at church, and that's fine.
Now obviously, you know, when it comes to someone who's running a church, you need to
be respectful to the person running it, but you know, I want to not just be the pastor
of my son, I want to be daddy to him.
What does that mean?
It means that, you know, I take my son out to shoot basketball, right?
Nothing sinful in that.
It's like, I can't just always be the pastor.
It's like, I'm at home and my son has to address me as pastor.
No, he should address me as daddy.
I love you, dad.
Kiss me on the cheek.
Give me a hug.
I should spend time with him.
I need to be very careful.
This is a sermon that I need to be reminded of because I need to make sure I do not have
too high of expectations for my own family.
Now obviously, if you are married into the ministry, if you're a child, the reality is
this, people will have high expectations.
And so people that are in the ministry, they should strive to be serving God, okay?
Because people will look at you and be very careful and notice everything you do wrong,
right?
Now, I don't advise going on YouTube and Facebook to look at all the stuff you see with various
churches, but you see that.
It's like people are waiting.
It's like, ah, found a mistake?
It's like from nine years ago, it's like 150 hours of preaching that year and I found him
say something wrong like during the sermon.
And it's just like, you know, hold that against them nine years down the road.
That's ridiculous.
But that is what happens, right?
We need to be very careful, especially at the church you're at.
Do not have too high of expectations for me or my wife or my children.
You will see us make mistakes.
You will see us do things wrong.
You will disagree with things I say.
I will act rude to you from time to time.
I will say things in the wrong manner.
And it's not intentional.
It's called I'm a sinner and I make mistakes.
And the same with my family as well, okay?
Now notice what it says in First Corinthians nine, verse five, First Corinthians nine,
verse five.
First Corinthians, you say, Brother Stuckey, why is it important to you that your son looks
at you as daddy?
Because that's how I looked at my dad, right?
My dad worked hard to provide for the family.
And you know what?
He still took me out to kick a soccer ball on the weekends.
He still took me out to play baseball with me and play catch.
I mean, he spent time with me.
And it's important for me, I spend time with my family and I don't forsake my family.
And I know that is a common problem and I understand it because there is always more
I can do, especially in this social media generation.
Because the Bible says it's unwise to compare yourself versus other people.
But you know, there's something just down into you where you want to get credit for
stuff and basically look better than other people.
And it can be very easy to dive too much into that and forsake things that you should not
be forsaking.
Okay?
Notice what it says in First Corinthians nine, verse five.
It says, have we not power to lead about a sister, a wife?
Paul the apostle here talks about leading about a sister.
When he's saying sister, he's referring to a sister in the Lord, a saved person.
And he's saying, do we not have the power to marry a woman that is saved?
Okay?
Paul as an apostle, he could get married.
Right?
I mean, the Catholic church tells you that, you know, you're not supposed to marry if
you're in the ministry.
That's the opposite of what the Bible says.
As a pastor, you must be married.
And we don't have apostles in our modern day because it was someone who actually saw the
resurrected Lord.
But Paul could have gotten married and there would have been nothing wrong with that.
Okay?
He could have gotten married.
He says, have we not power to lead about a sister, a wife?
Notice this, as well as other apostles.
What is he saying?
He's saying other apostles are married.
Other apostles have wives.
Other apostles have families and is the brethren of the Lord.
Other brethren in the Lord have children.
Other brethren in the Lord have families.
Notice this.
Then he says, in Cephas.
Now who is Cephas?
Peter.
He specifically mentions that Peter is married.
Now remember, the Bible says that Peter, it talks about his mother-in-law.
If it talks about his mother-in-law, that proves that he's married.
What's interesting about this, I looked up what people said online about this verse just
to kind of see basically people teaching false things.
And you know, people said this, well, we obviously know that Peter couldn't have been married.
So it must be his wife had already died when he joined the ministry, when God called him.
That's what they say about Peter.
It's like his wife must have died.
Well, show me where the Bible says his wife died.
Do you ever see that in the Bible?
It says he has a mother-in-law that the implication is he is married, okay?
You say, why is that important?
What are you trying to say?
Well, let me ask you a question.
Of the 12 apostles, which ones were married?
Which ones weren't married?
And right now you're saying, I have no idea.
You know why?
The Bible doesn't tell us.
Now I've read online people saying, well, you know what?
When God called them to the ministry, they were called to forsake their family.
They forsake their wife, forsake their kids.
That's garbage.
That is not what the Bible teaches.
You know, when Buddha got called to his little mission and everything, his wife was pregnant
and he just left his family.
I mean, the religion, the fourth biggest religion in the world and the person that they worship
as a God, Buddha, just forsook his entire family when his son's about to be born.
That's called being a derelict and a loser.
That's called being a bad father and a bad husband and just left and just never saw his
wife.
That's ridiculous.
Okay?
When these people, when they were called to the ministry, they didn't forsake their families.
They just were doing a different job for their money.
Their job was tied up in spiritual work instead of being fishers in whatever jobs they had.
What I'm trying to illustrate to you is this.
When it comes to the apostles, the implication from verse five here is that most of them
were probably married.
I would say the vast majority were probably married.
But why is it we never hear about their wives?
Did they just all marry like unsaved Catholics or ungodly people?
No.
I believe their wives were probably very godly.
But here's the thing.
There's a different role for men and women, right?
Women's role is to be the help meet for their husbands and you have a bunch of godly ladies
that are married to these men, but we don't even know what their wives' names were.
We don't know how many children you have.
You say, why?
Because their role and responsibility is not front and center, right?
It's the same thing in today's world.
Now, do I believe they married godly women?
Absolutely.
But I want you to realize that if you're a pastor's wife, you know what?
You're not going to be front and center where everyone's talking about you and everything
like that.
But you can be a very godly person if you're what?
If you're a great help meet, you support your husband and you do a great job raising those
kids.
You say, why?
Because it's the responsibility and the role of wives to run those families well.
You say, why is this important?
It's important because, look, if you're married to someone in the ministry, you need to always
be reminded that the job and responsibility God gave you was not to be the one front and
center that everybody knows.
Because, look, I've guest preached at churches before in the U.S., also here but in the U.S.
I would guest preach at churches and when I came, people were like, Brother Stuckey,
it's so great to meet you.
And it's just like you get compliments and credit all the time and everything like that.
And it's like that's just the way it is.
Whenever Pastor Anderson guest preached at Verity, everybody would just run over, man,
it's Pastor Anderson.
I'm so excited to meet him and everything.
That's just kind of the nature of how it works.
But the roles and responsibility of a pastor and a pastor's wife are very different.
The pastor's wife is meant to be a help meet, to encourage the husband, to be a helper and
the job is to take care of the children.
And look, it can be a difficult thing.
It's a difficult thing for any stay-at-home mom.
Many women in a room, many of them are expecting children and everything and you'll one day
be a stay-at-home mom.
It's very difficult.
Being there and just like poopy diapers and all that stuff, it's like, yeah, it can be
frustrating being at home but you have to realize God has given different roles for
men and for women.
So look, in this sermon, one thing I think we should all take away is, you know, to be
aware of these things.
Don't have too high of expectations and look, the reality is usually it would be more directed
towards my wife than me.
That's kind of the nature of how it works.
Be very careful not to have too high of expectations.
Be very careful not to have too many complaints for my wife because look, you have to realize
if you have one complaint and ten other people have a complaint, that's frustrating.
Right?
You say, well, it's just one.
Yeah, but a lot of people just have one.
Be very careful.
Why?
Because you know what?
The ministry is stressful.
It's busy.
It's difficult.
You know, recently I was listening to Pastor Menace preach and he said in the sermon, he
said this kind of a couple times recently, and you know, he said sometimes people will
ask him the question, I mean, have you ever thought about quitting the ministry?
His response is, you mean this week?
And he's saying, it's just like, you know, what are you saying is, yeah, you know, of
course, because you know what?
Life is difficult.
And here's the thing.
We all have ups and downs in the Christian life, but you know, it's even harder when
you're running the church because it is really hard.
Let me tell you something, it is very hard to preach a sermon when you're feeling down.
And you say, Brother Stuckey, have you ever been that way?
Absolutely.
Like you play the man and you try to fake it, you try to pretend and it's just like,
yeah, but you know what?
I'm a man of like passions just as you are.
It is not easy.
Look, the ministry is very stressful.
Let me just say this, that, you know, our family, we are dedicated to being in here
and serving God and being in the ministry here.
Okay.
And we are happy to co-labor with everyone here, but let us all be reminded of this because
you know what?
It is stressful.
It is busy.
And all of us, we need compliments from time to time.
All of us, we need to be encouraged.
So just let us just always remind you to be in the memory of this.
Let's go to the word prayer.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for allowing us to be here today and just getting to see
your word on this topic of being married into the ministry, God, and help us all to be kind
of aware of this topic and understanding of this topic, God.
Help all the ladies at our church that will one day be married into the ministry, God.
Help them be prepared for it.
Help those husbands to do a good job with that family, God, and to not dive into the
ministry and forsake the family.
Help us all to just serve God together as husbands and wives, God.
We pray this in Jesus' name.
Amen.