Alright, we're here in Song of Solomon chapter 2, and the name of this sermon is Marriage
Advice from the Song of Solomon.
Marriage Advice from the Song of Solomon.
Now let me just say to start this out, because Song of Solomon is one of the least preached
books in the entire Bible, and we believe in preaching all parts of the Bible.
I believe all the Word of God is good, and the Bible says every word of God is pure,
and so every once in a while you'll hear people preach on the Song of Solomon, and oftentimes
they have some really bizarre interpretations of what's being said, but realize every word
of God is pure, and I would be perfectly comfortable with my five-year-old son reading the Song
of Solomon, because God's Word is pure.
Every single bit, and I've heard a lot of weird perverted teachings, which they just
don't understand what they're talking about, but every word of God is pure.
There's a reason it's in the Bible.
It's not like, for example, this is an R-rated book in the Bible.
I don't believe that.
I believe every word of God is pure.
Every single verse, every single line is good for everyone.
And whether you're married or single, look, it's still good for you, okay?
Even if you're not married, this is going to be helpful for when you are married one
day.
Now, I want you to realize with the Song of Solomon, another thing also, when it comes
to books in the Old Testament, it might surprise you, but I've probably studied the Song of
Solomon more than any book in the Old Testament, and the reason I did was because before I
got married, I said, okay, I'm going to be married.
I need to know how am I going to be a good husband, so I really started to study this
book, and I learned a lot of stuff from it, okay?
Now, we're here in Song of Solomon, chapter 2, and realize that whether you're married
or not, this is helpful for everybody in this room, okay?
Verse number 16, Song of Solomon 2, verse 16, it says,
My beloved is mine, and I am his.
He feedeth among the lilies, okay?
So in verse number 16, what she basically says is my husband belongs to me, and I belong
to him.
Basically, I'm not interested in any other guy, and he is not interested in any other
woman.
We're completely devoted to each other, okay?
He says, My beloved is mine, and I am his, okay?
This is the right response we need to have in marriage.
That's the way we need to feel.
Verse 17, until the day break and the shadows flee away, turn, my beloved, and be thou like
a row or a young heart upon the mountains of Bithor, and she says she knows that he's
feeding among the lilies, and he's out working, and she's aware of what her husband is doing,
okay?
So when it comes to marriage, your spouse ought to be aware of what you're doing in
your life.
You say, Man, my husband's been gone for 48 hours.
I don't know where he is.
There's a problem there, okay?
My wife knows, you know, when I'm gone, and I'm not ashamed to say, Well, I can't tell
my wife where I'm going.
She's aware of where I'm going.
You say, Why?
We're married.
Two become one, okay?
That's what the Bible teaches, and if you don't have anything to hide, why are you hiding
something, okay?
Chapter number three, chapter three, and so as an introduction, what we're looking at
is basically what should be the proper response in a marriage.
This is before our point of how to have a good marriage.
The attitude should be, I fully belong to my wife, and she fully belongs to me, okay?
Chapter three, verse 11, chapter three, verse 11, Go forth, O ye daughters of Zion, and
behold King Solomon with the crown wherewith his mother crowned him, in the day of his
espousals, okay?
What is that saying?
Look at that word, you see spouse in there.
It's saying the day he got married, the day of his espousals, the day I do, I promise
to love you till death do us part.
It's saying the day they made that vow to get married, okay?
The day of his espousals, referring to the day they got married.
Look, their husband and wife in the Song of Solomon.
This is not a dating couple in the Song of Solomon.
You can see very clearly, they're married, okay?
They're not dating, they're married in the Song of Solomon.
In the day of his espousals, but notice, and in the day of the gladness of his heart.
She is fully aware he was very happy when they got married.
And look, that ought to be the truth for you and your marriage, that when you got married,
you're very happy.
Okay, you say, oh, that was the worst day of my life, it was awful, I want to forget
about it.
There's a problem there, okay?
It says in the day of the gladness of his heart, they were very excited to be married.
And truly, marriage is one of the most exciting events that you can have.
You're very excited to get married, you found the right person to get married to, you're
very happy to spend your life together and realize she is aware the day he got married,
he was glad.
He was happy, okay?
That ought to be true with the marriage you have or the person you end up marrying.
Chapter six, turn to chapter six, chapter six.
And so look, realize, don't just get married because you say, man, I guess, haven't found
the right person, but I'm just going to get married.
You know, I'm getting a little bit, no, marry the person that you love and care about.
Don't marry somebody you don't want to marry, marry somebody you actually care about, otherwise
you're going to hate the last 50 years of your life.
Marry somebody you actually care about, okay?
Chapter six, verse three, I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine.
This theme is throughout this book where she realizes Solomon only belongs to me and I
only belong to Solomon, okay?
Turn to chapter seven, chapter seven, chapter seven.
Chapter seven, verse 10, I am my beloved's, and notice this, and his desire is toward
me.
What he says about her husband, Solomon, is that the things he desires, what he cares
about is he cares about me.
He loves me.
She realizes her husband only loves her.
Now, I'm sure some of you in the back of your head, you're saying he married a thousand
people, okay?
Now, at the end of the sermon, I'll explain, and it's going to make sense, especially preparing
the sermon, it really kind of made a lot of sense what the Bible's trying to teach, but
at this time, he's married to one person.
He has one spouse.
He doesn't have a thousand spouses.
He's married to one person at this time, and at this time, she could confidently say, his
desire is toward me.
His desire is not toward, well, you know, he listens to these sermons online when he
comes home.
His desire is towards the gym.
No, his desire is toward me.
That's what she says.
This is the ideal marriage you're seeing here in the Song of Solomon.
Turn to chapter eight, chapter eight.
We'll look at one last place here to start out, chapter eight.
In chapter eight, verse six, the Bible reads, set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal
upon thine arm.
For love as strong as death, jealousy as cruel as the grave.
The coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath the most vehement flame.
You say, why is it talking about love, and then it mentions death and cruel as the grave?
What it's saying is that when you really care about someone or love someone, you would be
willing to kill to protect that marriage, but the reality is that if a wife cheats on
a husband, look, sometimes those husbands go and they murder the guy she cheated with.
Okay, now that's sin.
It's wrong to murder, but there's a reason why the Bible had the death penalty on adultery
because it's a very grievous sin that's going to destroy your life, and look, that's the
reality that the Bible's teaching this.
You know, there's famous people, actors and things like that, and they cheat on their
spouse and then they get murdered by their wife or whatever.
Love as strong as death.
Jealousy as cruel as the grave.
What does jealousy mean?
Well, jealousy and envy are different things, and it's very important to understand the
difference between jealousy and envy.
Jealousy is actually not a bad thing in the Bible.
Why?
Our God is a jealous God.
Our God's not an envious God, though.
Like God is envious about an India.
They're worshiping those other ... No, no, he's a jealous God because he expects and
demands our worship.
Why?
Because we should worship him and not these false gods, okay?
When you're married, yeah, you know what, I'm jealous about my wife.
I'm not okay if my wife decided to hang out with other guys.
It's like, no, that's not okay, and guess what, I don't hang out with other girls.
Why?
Because two become one.
Jealousy is something that belongs to you, okay?
Somebody tries to steal something from you, that's something that belongs to you.
Envy's something that doesn't belong to you.
We're not supposed to be envious.
If you want to have somebody else's house, that's not jealousy, that's envy.
That's covetousness, that's envy, okay?
Jealousy's not a bad thing, and the Bible says, jealousy, it says, is love as strong
as death, and jealousy is as cruel as the grave.
Why?
Because quite honestly, people would be willing to kill if they actually cared about their
spouse so much.
Now I'm not saying we should.
I'm just saying love's ... If you really care about someone, you don't want anything coming
in the way of that, okay?
Now turn in your Bible to Song of Solomon chapter one, chapter one.
And you say, brother Stuckey, I'm just so confident in my marriage that I just let my
husband go out and do whatever.
I let him go out to the bar for hours, and as he comes home in the middle of the night,
you're crazy.
I mean, what are you talking about?
You just, yeah, they're just out till three in the morning.
I don't get jealous.
They have this attitude that men are not supposed to be jealous.
It's like, you're perfectly okay if your wife came home at seven in the morning.
Oh, no, but no, of course you're going to be jealous about your spouse.
Of course you're going to be jealous about the person you care about because two become
one, and when you get married, it says your body's not your own.
It belongs to your spouse.
That's what the Bible teaches.
And so, yeah, you know what?
You love each other.
You belong to each other, okay?
So we're here in Song of Solomon chapter one, and let me just say this, that in general,
I think it's a foolish idea to think, man, I can't serve God very well if I'm a married
person, because some people have this attitude, I can just serve God better if I'm single.
Very few people is that the case.
The reality is, for most of us, we're not Paul the apostle.
For most of us, we should get married.
You find the right person, and you get married, and you spend your lives together, and you're
going to serve God better being married, but you will serve God a little bit differently
once you're married, okay?
I went soul winning more before I was married.
Look, I'm married now.
I have a son.
We have a daughter on the way, and the reality is, when you're married, part of your job
is to take care of your home and your house, okay?
And this sermon's important because I don't try to push people to just live their entire
lives.
Just read the Bible 24-7, pray 24-7, go soul winning 24-7.
Never spend time with your spouse.
Never spend time with your kids.
Just give it all to God.
That is a fast track to hating your life and destroying your life.
If you're married, you need to spend time, and you need to have balance in your life.
As a man, we have to work and make money.
As a man, we've got to read the Bible, and everyone needs to read the Bible, pray.
You need to come to church.
You need to go soul winning every week, but you need to spend time with your family and
your kids and your wife and your husband.
That's part of our lives as well.
We need the balance on things, okay?
And everything in life, you need a proper balance.
You see the guys that go to the gym, and they're these really strong guys, okay?
People are strong guys, and their legs are like this thin.
It's like, what in the world?
Have you ever heard of a squat before?
I mean, leg press, lunges, you know?
I can show you if you need help.
It's like these guys that bench like 400 pounds, and they leg press like 200.
Look, if you've been to the gym before, you know your leg press should be a whole lot
more than your bench press, a whole lot more.
If your bench press is more than your leg press, then it's like, there's a problem there.
You need a proper balance on things, on everything.
You need a balance in life of things.
Yes, go soul winning, serve God, spend time with your family as well.
And I'm not trying to push people to overdo their lives and just forsake their family.
And this is important because, quite honestly, throughout the Bible, what do you see a lot
of families end up being like, husbands and wives?
A lot of great men in the Bible that are really serving God, do they have good marriages?
Do they have children that love them?
Not really.
What do you see in today's world with a lot of people that serve God?
Their marriages are falling apart.
Their kids hate him.
Why?
Because they have an improper balance on things.
You need the right balance.
Yes, you need to read the Bible.
You need to go soul winning.
You also need to spend time with your family, okay?
And I promise you guys, your wife cares more about that you spend time with her than that
you can prove the post-Trib rapture.
That's the reality of the matter.
And this is the first point of the sermon because we saw kind of what the ideal situation
is that you have the attitude, my wife belongs to me and I belong to her.
That's the way you feel, your desires toward them.
Number one, the first point, because we're breaking the Song of Solomon down to themes
that are throughout the Song of Solomon.
The five major themes I see and the number one theme I see is this, that you just spend
time together.
The number one thing to a good marriage is you spend time together.
It seems so simple.
Everyone who's single is like, oh man, it's so simple.
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to be perfect.
It's like, yeah, once you're married, life gets busy, you have kids, it can be very easy
to be lazy, but you must find time to spend time together.
That's the number one point.
We've seen the Song of Solomon to a good marriage.
We see here in verse number five, it says, I am black but comely, oh you daughters of
Jerusalem as the tents of Kedar as the curtains of Solomon.
When she says she's black, she's not saying that she's from Africa.
The next verse clarifies this, look not upon me because I am black because the sun hath
looked upon me.
What happens if you're out in the sun for a long time?
Your skin gets darker.
She's saying her skin became dark because she was out in the sun for a while.
Why was she out in the sun?
What says, my mother's children were angry with me.
They made me the keeper of the vineyards, but mine own vineyard have I not kept.
So she was literally out working in vineyards out in the field and when she says mine own
vineyard have I not kept, she's referring to her body as her vineyard.
I mean, this is a song.
There's a lot of poetry in songs.
She's referring to her body as her vineyard.
Mine own vineyard have I not kept.
My face is black, I'm darkened.
Basically she does not feel attractive.
Now look, it's interesting because if you go to America, the number one thing people
want is darker skin and yet the number one thing in the Philippines people want is lighter
skin.
It's like, just be happy with how God created you, but in America everybody wants dark skin.
For me this was always weird, but then when my wife and I got married, she's like everyone
in the Philippines wants lighter skin.
It's just like, well, I guess people are never satisfied, are they?
But she says she's not feeling attractive because she's been out in the sun.
She hasn't taken care of her own body.
She hasn't been able to take care of herself, so she's not feeling very attractive.
Verse seven, tell me, O thou who my soul loveth, where thou fetus, where thou makest thy flock
to rest at noon.
Noon is basically 12 p.m., right at lunchtime.
It's right at lunchtime she's been out in the field working on stuff and she's wondering
where is my spouse?
Where do you make your flock to rest at noon?
Because he's out working a job, making money, and at lunchtime she's wondering where is
my spouse?
For why should I be as one that turneth aside by the flocks of thy companions?
And she's saying, it's lunchtime, I want to see my husband, and she's like, I shouldn't
be as someone who never gets to spend time with my husband, like the flocks of thy companion.
This verse actually made me make a big decision when I first got married, because we were
deciding where to live, and I was planning to move to California to go to Verity Baptist
Church, but we were trying to decide where to live, and I ended up picking a place.
We rented out the one floor of a house, and there were nails in the floor.
I mean, it was falling apart.
It was not the nicest place, but the whole reason why I picked it was because it was
close to my job, and I would come home at lunchtime and just spend 30 minutes with my
wife.
I'm not saying you are in that situation or you have to be in that situation.
All I'm saying is I realized that in the heart of a woman, that basically around lunchtime
she's like, I miss my husband.
I need to see him.
So I decided that is where we were going to live so I could be closer, because otherwise
I was going to live at a place where it was a 20-minute drive to where we'd be living
so I wouldn't be able to come home at lunchtime.
So I specifically picked that place so we could spend more time together, because what
you're seeing is at lunchtime she's saying, where's my husband?
I want to see him.
I miss him.
Now, turn to Song of Solomon chapter 2, and so it's very important that you just spend
time with your spouse.
I'm not saying everybody's in a situation where they always eat lunch together, but
I will say this, with modern technology, during the day you can send out that text message,
you can make that five-minute call to your spouse, how are you doing, just check up on
things.
Why?
That is going to help you.
I'm not saying that alone is good enough because you need to spend actual personal time, not
just texting, but I'm just saying that little bit goes a long way.
I'm trying to help you out that are newly married, or for us to be reminded of these
things that are married, that your life's busy, hey, just that five-minute phone call
during the day makes a big difference.
With modern technology, we have this opportunity to send out that text message, to make that
phone call, just check up on, hey, how are things going, how are the kids doing, both
for husbands and wives.
I would say from the Song of Solomon, what we see, men being designed to go out there
and work, that we can go out there and work and maybe not get as lonely as your wife might
be if she's staying home raising the kids.
Quite honestly, she probably needs those five minutes for you to check it up, how's she
doing.
It's very important, number one, in the Song of Solomon, that you're spending time together.
We see this in Song of Solomon, chapter two, verse eight.
Song of Solomon, chapter two, verse eight, the voice of my beloved, behold, he cometh
leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills.
My beloved is like a row or a young heart.
Behold, he standeth behind her wall, he looketh forth at the windows, showing himself through
the lattice.
And she's so excited to see her husband coming.
She compares him to basically like a deer jumping out there.
There's a lot of symbolic language, but she's excited to see him.
And he's basically skipping and jumping.
He's excited to come home and see his wife.
And in verse 10, my beloved spake and said unto me, rise up, my love, my fair one, and
come away.
So basically, Solomon gets home and he says, you know what, let's go somewhere.
Let's do something together, okay?
Now there's a lot of things to keep in mind.
You know, one, they don't have any kids at this point.
Now it's obviously it's important to still spend time once you do have kids.
But it is a little bit easier because it's just the two of them.
But he gets home from working and he says, rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.
He's like, let's spend some personal time together.
Verse number 11, for lo, the winter has passed, the rain is over and gone, the flowers appear
on the earth, the time of the singing of the birds has come, and the voice of the turtle
is heard in our land.
The fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grape give a
good smell.
Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.
So we're getting the picture that this is kind of during the springtime and kind of
depends on where you live because there's not really a lot of plants and, you know,
greenery here in Manila.
But I can say like in the U.S., you know, the rain's gone, now you're at the season
where you got the plants and the weather's good.
So basically, you don't really go out during the rainy season and go out to the woods and
spend time together.
You do that during the springtime.
The flowers are there, it's beautiful, the smell's good, you got the sun, you know.
Basically though, he's saying, you know what, let's just spend some time together.
Now turn to chapter three.
Chapter three.
You say, Brother Stuckey, this is really basic to, I expected some deep dark secret to have
a good marriage.
No, actually the simple things are gonna be what makes you successful at things.
It's not the really complicated things.
And look, and I'm not advocating you spend all your time, you know, like watching fighting
or whatever, but let me just tell you this, that when it comes to fights, most fights
are ended with just a punch right to the face.
They're not ended with some crazy like spinning circus kick, okay.
It's just like one punch right to the face, okay.
And then the reality in life, in everything you do, becoming very good at the basics is
gonna be what makes you good.
Look, you could spend all your time like on the basketball court practicing half court
shots.
When are you gonna use that in an actual game, okay?
You get good by doing the basic things like dribbling, passing, things like that.
It's the basics that make you good.
And look, and yeah, it's a pretty basic thing, but just spending time with your spouse, that's
gonna help you have a good marriage.
That's what we see in the Song of Solomon.
Chapter three verse one, by night on my bed I sought him whom I so loveth.
I sought him, but I found him not.
And so this appears to be a time where Solomon is basically working a little bit of overtime
and it's late when he's coming home.
And she's basically going to bed and she's like, man, I miss my spouse, where is he?
Verse two, I will rise now and go about the city and the streets and in the broadways
I will seek him whom I so loveth.
I sought him, but I found him not.
The watchmen that go about the city found me to whom I said, saw ye him whom I so loveth?
It was but a little that I passed from them, but I found him whom I so loveth.
I held him and would not let him go until I had brought him into my mother's chamber
and into the chamber of her that conceived me.
Now in these verses, let me just say, there's a lot of symbolism with soul winning in verses
two through four.
Because notice what it says, she's searching for her husband in verse two in the broadways.
The broadway leadeth to destruction.
She searches for her husband in the broadways and she doesn't find him.
Because narrow is the way which leadeth on to life.
Verse number three, what it said was, the watchmen that go about the city found me.
Do you realize that the only way you get saved is if the watchmen come and find you?
The soul winner comes and finds you.
And see, everybody that's trying to work their way to heaven or wanting to get to heaven,
they're doing it the broadway.
They don't know any better.
When I was 17 years old, I was going the broadway that leadeth to destruction.
I didn't know any better until a watchman found me and that's when you find the Lord.
Now this story has a direct application, but that's some symbolism there that quite honestly
when it comes to what we do soul winning, if we don't find them, they're not going to
walk into this place and then just say, what must I do to be saved?
It's not going to happen.
We must go out and find them.
That's why we have several soul winning times here.
But what we see here is she really deeply misses her husband.
Turn to chapter seven, chapter seven.
Chapter seven, we'll look at one more place of this.
And notice what it says in verse 11, come my beloved, let us go forth into the field,
let us lodge in the villages, let us get up early to the vineyards, let us see if the
vine flourish, whether the tender grape appear and the pomegranates bud forth, there will
I give thee my loves.
And so they're just spending time together, just hanging out with one another.
You know, when I first visited the Philippines in 2014, in September of 2014, one thing that
really impressed me because I was in Pampanga is that when we went to Astro Park, my wife
and I went there like six in the morning before we were married and there were families actually
spending time together before they went and worked their jobs.
They didn't do it when they came home, but they were doing it early in the morning.
It was like 5.30, six in the morning, and they're just out there spending family time
together.
I was like, that is awesome.
Because you don't really usually see things like that.
And quite honestly, in the day we live in with all these gadgets and the smartphones
and the TV, what you see is people are separated more than ever before because they're just
spending all their time on these phones and they can't live without it.
And the reality is we ought to spend time together and get away from those distractions.
And what you're seeing here, they're not going to the fanciest, most expensive places in
the world, but they're just spending time with one another.
That's what you're seeing here.
Verse 13, the mandrakes give a smell and at our gates are all manner of pleasant fruits,
new and old, which I have laid up for thee, O my beloved.
Turn to Song of Solomon chapter one.
Song of Solomon chapter one.
And so the first point we have to having a good marriage is very simply, you just spend
time with one another.
It's pretty basic, but quite honestly, life gets busy and it's very easy when you get
back at six o'clock at night or eight o'clock, whatever your work schedule is, to just say,
I'm just going to relax, get on Facebook, find out what's going on in the new IFB or
whatever.
And it's like, that is a fast track to having a bad marriage.
You'd be better off just getting home and just spending time with your family.
Now I'll tell you what my attitude was in terms of before I moved to Verity Baptist.
And the church I went to in West Virginia was a good church, so I'm not trying to criticize
them, but it wasn't quite exactly like us.
I wanted something a little bit different.
But my thought when we moved to Verity Baptist Church was, I've got a great church here.
I don't need to spend all my time caring about all these other churches or listening to all
this internet preaching, because I already have a great church.
Now I'm not saying you shouldn't ever listen to any preaching, but I'm just saying, that's
something more you do when you're single.
Not so much when you're married.
Once you're married, it's important that you spend time with one another.
And that's what we're seeing here in the Song of Solomon.
So the first point is quite simply that you just spend time with one another.
And the second point is quite simply this, you just compliment one another.
You compliment your husband.
You compliment your wife.
You basically say nice things to them.
Chapter one, notice what it says in verse nine.
I have compared thee, O my love, this is him talking to his wife, to a company of horses
and Pharaoh's chariots.
Okay, now at first glance, you might be like, why did he just compare his wife to a bunch
of horses?
Okay, it doesn't sound like the best compliment.
But I want you to turn to 1 Kings 3, 1 Kings 3, and I think this will make a lot of sense
here in a second.
You say, Brother Stuckey, who was Song of Solomon's wife?
Who, not Song of Solomon, who was Solomon's wife?
The daughter of Pharaoh.
The daughter of Pharaoh was his wife.
Okay, and I'll prove that to you in 1 Kings 3, but it makes sense he uses an example that
she can understand.
Like a company of horses and Pharaoh's chariots, she's familiar with that company that he's
talking about.
And what he's basically telling her is, I'm comparing you to the best there are in the
world.
Why?
Because Egypt was very powerful.
They're very rich.
And she very much knew Pharaoh's chariots because she was Pharaoh's daughter.
You say, well, how do you know that?
1 Kings 3, verse 1.
And Solomon made affinity with Pharaoh, king of Egypt, and took Pharaoh's daughter and
brought her into the city of David until he had made an end to building his own house
in the house of the Lord and the wall of Jerusalem round about.
So in this verse, what it sounds like is he basically gets married to her, and they're
kind of temporarily in one location as he's building the house for them.
He's building the house of the Lord and also their personal house that they're going to
live at.
But the first one Solomon is married to is Pharaoh's daughter.
And so it makes a lot of sense that he used the example, a company of horses and Pharaoh's
chariots.
Now realize, guys, yes, you should compliment your wife, but the compliments should be specific
where it's going to make sense.
If you tell your wife you're like the horses in the Kentucky Derby, it's like that's probably
not going to go over that well.
It makes sense to her because they're probably the most expensive horses and the best and
the most beautiful.
That example might not work in your personal life, though, okay?
Now turn back to Solomon and Solomon chapter 2, Solomon and Solomon chapter 2.
But what he's basically telling her is she's the best.
She's very valuable.
Okay?
That's what he's telling her.
So he's very much complimenting her.
And you see these compliments working together where the husband compliments the wife and
the wife compliments the husband throughout the Song of Solomon.
Song of Solomon chapter 2 verse 1, I am the rose of Sharon in the lily of the valleys.
Now I want you to realize here in Song of Solomon chapter 2 verse 1, the woman is referred
to as the lily of the valleys, okay?
So realize that song in the Bible, not the Bible, the song in the hymnal that says the
lily of the valley referring to Jesus, it's not really accurate, okay?
Because I'm not saying it's heresy, but I'm just saying he's the apple tree amongst the
trees of the wood, okay?
He's not the lily of the valley.
You know, I've heard people preach before, and I remember hearing a good sermon one time
where this guy was using all these examples about Jesus.
He's the king of kings, the alpha and omega, the beginning and the end, the lily of the
valleys.
It's like, which one doesn't fit in that list you're saying?
And I realize it's complicated to tell who's speaking man or woman, but when you pay attention
what's happening is she's saying, I am the rose of Sharon and the lily of the valleys.
The way she felt was that she was the best flower amongst all of them because he made
her feel that way, that she was the best and prettiest flower in the entire valley is basically
what she's saying.
Then it says, as the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters.
And so what he's saying is basically you are like a lily amongst all of these thorns.
All these other women are like thorns compared to you.
That's what he's telling him.
As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons.
What she's telling him there in verse three is basically an apple tree is very valuable
because it produces fruit, and there's all these other trees that have no value.
You're like the apple tree.
So basically she's complimenting him, okay?
Now turn to chapter four, chapter four.
And so yeah, you know what, the person you're married to, you ought to make them feel pretty
special.
You ought to compliment them.
Now make the compliments make sense and be specific, and look, you shouldn't have to
lie if you love your spouse.
There's a problem there.
If you married the wrong person, you know what, you have to stay married and apply this
advice the best you can, but you should have married someone you wanted to marry to begin
with.
You shouldn't have just said, man, I just got to get married.
I'm about to turn 30.
I just got to get married.
No, marry someone you want to marry.
I got married when I was 30 because I just didn't find the person before I was 30.
I'm glad I waited.
Now, did I want to be married when I was younger?
I've wanted to be married since I was, look, my parents, you know, they've been married
for a long time, you know, about basically like 40 years, and I just wanted to be, I
was raised just that basically you just have a family and you work hard, you spend time
with your family.
So that's what I wanted at a young age, but you know, I just didn't find the right person.
I would suggest, wait until you find the right person, though, otherwise you could
end up hating your life, okay?
But what I want you to see is basically they're complimenting one another, and if you really
love your spouse, it shouldn't be that hard to compliment them, okay?
Make it specific so it makes sense, but compliment them.
And you know, this could be basic stuff.
You know, your wife makes dinner, you know, and it tastes good, you say, well, it's her
job to make dinner.
Hey, just say I really enjoyed the food, it was really good.
Just say, man, you know, it's not as good as mama cooked it.
That's a big mistake.
So why do you use that example?
Because there's many people that make that mistake.
I've got a lot of stories, not going to say it, just from all over the place, and it's
like universal.
Every country, every time period, many men make that mistake.
It's like it's not a smart thing to do, okay?
But just compliment, you know, your wife.
Compliment your husband.
Compliment them on these things, all right?
Chapter four, verse two, thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn, which
came up from the washing, whereof everyone bare twins, and none is barren among them.
And you say, why does he talk about her teeth?
Well, he's basically saying her teeth are really white, they're very clean, okay?
So obviously she probably kept good care of her teeth, or she had good teeth.
He's just saying your teeth are really white, okay?
Verse three, thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and thy speech is comely.
Thy temples are like a piece of a pomegranate within thy locks.
Thy neck is like the Tower of David, builded for an armory, whereon there hang a thousand
bucklers, all shields of mighty men.
Thy two breasts are like two young rows that are twins, which feed among the lilies.
Now I'm not going to tell you I understand every single compliment and why he said it,
because some of these things are probably specific to where they lived and the time
period.
All I'm showing you, though, is that when husbands and wives love each other, they should
compliment one another.
And the problem is sometimes people do this when they're dating, and then once they get
married it's just you're like in retirement.
Well, you know, I got married, so I can just do whatever and just, you know, just not take
care of my body.
It's like, no, you should keep it.
If you want to have a good marriage, yeah, you do that before you get married to find
a spouse, but if you want to have a good marriage, you keep doing those things, okay?
Now turn in your Bible to chapter one, chapter one.
Number one, number one is that you spend time with one another.
Number two is that you compliment one another, and number three sort of goes into number
two because oftentimes the compliments are about appearance, but basically I want to
talk about attractiveness and the fact that you should marry someone you are attracted
to and you should try to stay attractive for your spouse, okay?
That is a common theme throughout the Song of Solomon.
This was kind of hard to break into various different categories because some of these
things interlapped, but this is something that's important that you see here.
Chapter one, verse 15, behold thou art fair, my love, behold thou art fair, thou art dove's
eyes.
He's saying, you know, you're beautiful.
Behold thou art fair, my beloved, yea, pleasant, also our bed is green.
And they're just telling them that they find them attractive.
You know, he says my love and then she says my beloved.
They're just saying they find each other attractive.
So once again, we're seeing the compliments, but we're also seeing they married someone
they were attracted to, okay?
You say, isn't that obvious?
It should be obvious, but I do know a story that one of my friends who went to Hyles Anderson
College in the U.S., you know, this guy got up to kind of preach on marriage and it was
one of those classes and he's talking about marriage and he gets up and everything saying
about how you ought to marry someone who's godly.
And look, I agree with that.
Marry someone who's godly.
Obviously that's more important than just that they're attractive, okay?
Make sure they're godly.
They love the Lord.
But he's saying how it's so important to marry someone godly and he says, you know, honey,
and he just calls her up to use her as an example, and he's like, let me say this.
I am not attracted to this woman, but she's the godliest woman I've ever met.
It's like, what in the world?
It's like he literally just embarrassed his wife and he's giving marriage advice.
It's like, man, maybe you should read the Song of Solomon before you give marriage advice.
And it's like, you know, my friend told me, yeah, she was like beaming red, like embarrassed
and everything.
It's like, what in the world are you doing?
It's like, why would you do that?
And let me tell you something, obviously I don't say marry number one because you find
them attractive.
I'm not saying that's the most important thing.
Godliness is number one.
But yeah, find someone who's godly that you find attractive.
Okay, there's a lot of people that you can find attractive out there, okay?
It's harder to find somebody that's godly, but look, if you tell me I can't find a single
attractive person in this entire world, it's like you're very shallow, okay?
Are you kidding me?
Because I believe God created people attractive.
That's what I believe.
And unless people destroy their bodies, they're going to be attractive.
And so this idea that you can't find a single person attractive in this world, it's like,
what in the world?
But look, when it comes to marriage, marry someone you're attracted to because they're
not lying where he's like thinking, man, she's so ugly, Pharaoh's daughter, but I'm just
going to say, oh, you know, you're so beautiful, my fair, you know, my love.
No, I mean, they actually find each other attractive, okay?
Now turn to chapter four, chapter four.
Don't misunderstand me.
I mean, it shouldn't be the number one thing that you look for, but I'm just saying, you
know what, there's many people you can marry.
There's eight billion people on this planet.
I realize those are of all ages in different countries, but I'm just saying there's over
a hundred million people in this country.
There are over fifty million people that live in Luzon, almost sixty million people
live in Luzon.
It's like you can find somebody that you find attractive.
It's harder and it's more important to find someone that's godly, but if you find someone
and say, man, they're very godly, but I'm really not attracted to them, look, wait for
someone that's godly that you do find attractive because attractiveness is mentioned very much
in the Song of Solomon.
And look, here's the thing, people are interested in different people.
You can find different people attractive.
People are interested in different things.
Some people like different eye colors, different hair colors, some people like people that
are thinner or some people like people that are, for guys, a little bit more muscular
or whatever.
Look, people find different things attractive.
So it's not like everyone's competing for the same person.
You find different people attractive, yes, godliness is number one, but yeah, marry someone
you're attracted to and if you don't, then I don't really see how you can look at the
Song of Solomon and say that I can have this kind of marriage.
They just find each other attractive.
Chapter 4, verse 1.
Now let me say this, that when you find somebody that's ungodly, look, you can look at somebody
at first glance and say, man, that's a very beautiful person, but they really hate the
Lord and all of a sudden they just start looking ugly.
And it can go the other way as well.
That if somebody's godly, then yeah, you're going to start to find them more attractive
based on their character and who they are, but I'm just saying if you know someone and
you're just like, man, I'm just not attracted to them, wait for someone you're attracted
to.
Okay?
And that doesn't necessarily make you shallow, it just means that you're interested in different
types of people.
Chapter 4, verse 1.
Behold thou art fair, my love, behold thou art fair, thou hast dove's eyes within thy
locks, thy hair is as a flock of goats that appear from Mount Gilead.
And he says she's beautiful, she's fair.
Verse 7, thou art all fair, my love, there is no spot in thee.
So she says she's very attractive and realized this is the woman that in chapter 1, even
though she's Pharaoh's daughter, you would think she'd have a really high opinion of
herself, but actually she was feeling unattractive.
She says I'm working in all these vineyards, in mine own vineyard have I not kept, but
when he was around her he told her there's no spot in you.
You look beautiful.
I don't know what you're talking about.
You look great.
You know, you're attractive.
Okay?
He wasn't lying.
He found her attractive.
Okay?
Now turn to chapter 5, we're going to skip things for sake of time, but I'll just say
that throughout the Song of Solomon you're seeing that they spend a lot of time together,
they complement one another, and they very much find each other attractive.
But I want to shift to basically the importance of us that are married to stay in shape for
our spouse.
Okay?
This is something that the Song of Solomon highlights here.
And I want you to see here in chapter 5, chapter 5, it says in chapter 5, his legs are as pillars
of marble set upon sockets of fine gold.
His countenance is as Lebanon, excellent as the cedars.
And she refers to his body, his legs, as pillars of marble set upon sockets of fine gold.
Okay?
So I believe that's referring to this part of your body, your legs upon sockets.
But basically when she says pillars of marble, it's giving you a picture of someone who's
in pretty good shape.
Now it makes sense because Song of Solomon was outside working.
He wasn't just sitting in an office, you know, typing all day.
He was actually outside working, so he's, you know, building up strength just from his
normal job of what he did.
He's out there working in the vineyards.
He's out in the field.
And if you work a kind of job where you're out and about, like working, farming, or something
like that, it's going to help keep you in shape.
But when she talked about him, she actually is saying that he's in pretty good shape.
Okay?
I don't think she's lying.
And the reality is, for a lot of us though, we don't have jobs where we're picking up
hay all day and getting strong.
So if we have a job where we're pretty much sitting around all day, we might have to spend
some time trying to stay in shape a little bit.
Now look, when it comes to hobbies, I think one of the best hobbies you can have is to
work out.
Okay?
Now, there's many different opinions and many different methods.
It depends on what you're looking for, but when it comes to hobbies I have, I personally,
I try my best to work out.
And I'll tell you this, I try to combine it with just my spiritual life as well because
most mornings I go out walking for about an hour and a half, and I'm memorizing the Bible
and going through my prayer list.
Now that is a way where I can get a little bit of exercise.
In college I just would work out a couple hours at the gym every day, play basketball
all the time, things like that.
I don't have that sort of time now.
But going out and walking, I can memorize the Bible, and I'm actually doing my Bible
time as well, going through my prayer list, and I'm multitasking.
And at least for me, once you have kids, sometimes I'm able to do push-ups and work out and try
to stay in good shape.
Sometimes I'm not.
It just kind of depends on the situation I'm in in life or whatever.
But I'm just saying, that is an important part of marriage, and you actually do see
that in the Song of Solomon, is to just stay in shape for one another.
Now turn to chapter seven.
Chapter seven.
You say, why is that important?
Well, let's just be realistic.
If you stay in shape for your spouse, they'll find you more attractive.
That's the reality.
If you stay in shape for your spouse, they'll find you more attractive.
Look, by no means am I saying this is the number one most important part of your life.
Obviously, reading the Bible is the most important.
Read the Bible, memorize the Bible, pray, go to church, and if you don't have time to
work out at all and you're devoted to God and then you spend time with your spouse,
your wife would rather you spend an hour together than you spend an hour working out.
I'm just saying if you have the ability to work out as well, then yeah, it's important.
But I will say this, there is part of staying in shape that has nothing to do with spending
time working out, and that's called just the things that we eat and drink.
Because if you eat healthy, it's going to make you in better shape.
We all know that.
Now, I'm not claiming I have a perfect diet.
Look, I eat a lot of junk food, I eat a lot of things that are bad for me.
I'm just saying that when you eat healthy, it makes you look better.
It makes you in better shape.
We should try to take care of our bodies, because when you get married, the Bible says
your body is not your own.
Doesn't it say it's your spouse's?
Yeah, we should take care of our bodies for our spouses.
We see this not just with the man in Chapter 5, we see it with the woman in Chapter 7,
because I want you to notice this.
This is what he says about her.
We saw in Chapter 5 what she says about him and the importance of staying in shape, but
in Chapter 7, verse 2, when you pay attention, the Bible's teaching us a lot here.
It says, thy navel is like a round goblet which wanteth not liquor.
Thy belly is like a heap of wheat set about with lilies.
You say, Brother Stuckey, what in the world is that talking about?
Well, I want you to realize when he says thy navel, he's talking about here in her stomach,
is like a round goblet.
It says which wanteth not liquor.
Now, look, he's not praising her because she's not a drunk, okay?
Because obviously he's going to marry someone who was godly, who loved the Lord.
What he's saying, though, is this.
Realize when people drink a lot of alcohol, what does it do?
It gives you a beer gut, right?
He's praising her stomach for not wanting to eat or drink things that are going to cause
her to be out of shape.
That's why he's saying thy navel is like a round goblet which wanteth not liquor.
And he doesn't mention the mouth.
He doesn't say, well, you know, your mouth doesn't want to drink, you know, liquor.
He's saying thy belly.
Why?
Because the effects of drinking alcohol will reach to your stomach.
They call it a beer gut because people that drink a lot of alcohol, they develop a beer
gut.
That's where the weight usually settles.
There's a lot of calories in alcohol.
And you know, you develop a beer gut.
But he's saying thy navel doesn't want liquor.
So basically you're taking care of your body.
And so, yeah, obviously at a church, a Baptist church, yeah, we preach against drinking alcohol.
But realize this, that what it's saying more so than that is also just the things you eat,
the things you drink.
There's a difference between drinking water and drinking Coke.
I'm not saying it's a sin to drink Coke.
I'm not taking a super strong, ridiculous stand.
I'm just saying, you know what, you should be drinking a lot more of this.
You should be eating a lot more of gulai, of prutas than, you know, just pangimagus
all the time.
I'm not saying it's a sin to do those things.
I'm just saying for your spouse, you should try to stay in shape for them.
This is not easy in the world we live in because there's snacks around everywhere.
But this is what you see in the Song of Solomon.
That is what's being said in chapter seven, verse two, is basically she took care of her
body.
And we saw two chapters earlier, he takes care of his body as well.
And that is part of attractiveness because that's what they're complimenting.
You'll find your spouse more attractive if they stay in better shape, okay?
Now turn to chapter one.
Turn to chapter one.
Now realize, that's not the first thing I mentioned.
I want to highlight, your wife would rather you spend an hour just spending time together
than that you spend an hour working out and never spend time with her.
That's number three on the list because it's the thing that comes up number three on the
list of the themes.
Number one is definitely that you're spending time with one another.
I will say this though, if you never have any time to work out, it's probably smart
to really eat a healthy diet because that will make you a lot more attractive just in
general.
And quite honestly, even serving God, I will say this, that when I'm eating a healthy diet,
I sleep a lot less and I feel very energized.
The reality is that if you go home at 10 o'clock at night and look, I do this sometimes.
So I'm not saying I have a perfect diet, okay?
But if you go home at 10 o'clock tonight and you just drink a bunch of coke and eat cake,
you're going to end up sleeping a lot longer or you're going to wake up feeling very tired
because our bodies are like a machine and the things we put in, it doesn't just change
the way you appear, it changes how you can function mentally and everything and so we
should take care of our bodies.
You see that in the Song of Solomon, that's part of attractiveness.
So number one is spending time with one another.
Number two is complementing one another.
Number three is attractiveness and number four is good hygiene.
Good hygiene, this is a common theme that you see in the Song of Solomon.
Chapter one, verse three.
Because of the savor of thy good ointments, thy name is as ointment poured forth, therefore
do the virgins love thee.
Now in chapter one, verse three, it mentions the word savor.
This is basically the smell, okay?
What she's saying to her husband is you smell good because of the savor of thy good ointments,
thy name is as ointment poured forth, therefore do the virgins love thee, okay?
So basically he just took care of, you know, his maintenances as the good ointments that
he smelled good.
Look at verse number 12, verse 12.
While the king sitteth at his table, my spikenard sendeth forth the smelter of.
And so basically she's wearing spikenard because she's trying to smell good for her husband,
okay?
Verse 13, a bundle of myrrh is my well beloved unto me.
He shall lie all night betwixt my breasts.
My beloved is unto me as a cluster of campire in the vineyards of Enjedi.
And campire is basically a good smelling ointment.
And she says a bundle of myrrh, campire, it's like a good smelling ointment.
And so look, what it's saying is that basically you just, your personal maintenance, you just
smell good, you just take care of your body.
Turn to chapter four, chapter four.
And so look, I don't really preach so much on organic eating and natural diets and things
such as that.
I definitely believe there's some truth to that.
But I want you to realize as they're going through ointments and spikenards and things
such as that, they're using actual things for like what we would call deodorant and
things such as that.
They're actually using things like that, just like we do today.
Now I understand if you go on Facebook, every single thing in the world causes cancer.
Every single thing in the world.
If you eat bananas, it will cause cancer.
If you do this, it will cause cancer.
And look, I definitely believe there's some truth.
The healthier you eat, you know, things such as that, you take care of your body.
I definitely believe there's some truth to that.
But I want you to realize that the Bible's not really a gint.
The God body was not against using things like that because you're seeing the personal
maintenance here in the Song of Solomon for what we would call deodorant and things such
as that to basically take care of your body.
Now chapter 4 verse 12, chapter 4 verse 12, a garden enclosed is my sister, my spouse,
a spring shut up, a fountain sealed.
Now it's using metaphorical language here in chapter 4 verse 12, and he refers to his
wife as a garden, okay?
Now he says my sister, but then he says my spouse, probably says my sister because she's
a sister in the Lord, I would say is probably why it says my sister.
But this is his wife because it says my sister, my spouse, okay, his wife.
Verse 13, thy plants, this is referring to her because she's a garden, he said, thy plants
are an orchard of pomegranates with pleasant fruits, campfire with spikenard.
These are two good smelling things, spikenard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon with all
trees of frankincense, mir and alloys with all the chief spices.
And so we're seeing that it's complementing basically the way she smells, that's how he
refers to her.
Turn to chapter 5, chapter 5.
So once you realize the Bible talks about all subjects.
Now I'm not saying this is the number one most important thing, but this is mentioned
in the Song of Solomon many times, basically just good hygiene or good personal maintenance.
Now in chapter 5 we also see something similar as well, and this is kind of linked together
because in chapter 5 what we're going to see is the importance of basically how you dress,
being presentable, not really so much the smell, but it's kind of part of personal maintenance.
I don't know whether you'd say hygiene or just maybe personal maintenance, but I want
you to see in chapter 5 verse 2 it says, I sleep but my heart waketh, it is the voice
of my beloved that knocketh, saying, open to me my sister, my love, my dove, my undefiled,
for my head is filled with dew and my locks with the drops of the night.
And so basically she misses her husband, she just went to sleep, he comes home, he knocks,
and you would think she'd immediately just open up and give him a hug, right?
That's not what you see though.
What you see here in verse 3 is this, she says, I have put off my coat, how shall I
put it on?
I have washed my feet, how shall I defile them?
And so she's worried about how do I look at the door when I open it.
Basically I already took my coat off, my feet and everything, she wants to look good for
her husband.
Now, as a guy, I don't fully comprehend this, because I'm like, just open the door.
It's like, why do you care about how you look, just open the door.
This shows though the difference between men and women, and I don't fully understand it,
but it shows that, you know what, appearance is very important to women, you know, more
so than it is to men, okay?
And so basically she's waiting for him, he gets home, and she's wondering, I already
put off my coat, you know, how shall I put it on?
I've washed my feet, how shall I defile them?
She wants to look good for her husband, okay?
Now turn in your Bible to chapter 1.
Chapter 1.
It's kind of like when my wife and I take pictures.
I'm just kind of like, I could take pictures wearing shorts and a t-shirt.
It's like, I really don't care, you know, but it's a lot more important to my wife,
we know that we look good, we have pictures for memories and things such as that.
It's just generally a lot more important to the wives than it is to the husbands, okay?
That's generally going to be the case.
They're going to care more about appearance.
Now, I do think just in general we should care to some degree about how we look and
everything, but what we're seeing is it's more important to the wife than it is to the
husband, so that kind of goes into the personal maintenance.
And so the points we saw here for having a good marriage, number one, very easily is
just that you spend time with one another.
Number two is that you compliment one another.
Number three is that you find them attractive and you try to stay attractive for your spouse.
Number four is just good personal maintenance or hygiene.
And number five, which I'm going to briefly touch on, is romance.
Now realize this is part of marriage, it's not part of before you get married.
The Bible's very clear that when it comes to a relationship like this, it's between
husband and wife, not boyfriend and girlfriend, but husband and wife.
And when it comes to where we live in, they don't agree with this message at all.
The Bible even says in the book of 1 Corinthians that when it comes to fornication, that is
something to get kicked out of church for.
Say what is fornication?
When you have a physical relationship before you're married, and the Bible shows that's
a wicked thing, and that's something that you do after you are married, okay?
Now chapter one, and I'm not going to mention too much about this, but verse two it says,
chapter one verse two, let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for thy love is better
than wine.
Turn to chapter two, chapter two, chapter two, and that's just a basic part of marriage.
You know obviously when you get married, you know, the husband kisses the bride and everything
when they get married, but that's just a basic part of marriage.
That is not part of before you're married though.
That's part of when you are married.
A big difference, okay?
Chapter two, verse four, and realize the reason why the Song of Solomon that my son could
read at the age of five is because the Bible is discreet about things, and let me tell
you this because I'm only showing you one other verse, and I'm not going to mention
much about this, but literally you'll be at Baptist conferences where they'll have like
a lecture or whatever where they talk about really detailed things that are between husband
and wife.
Those are between husband and wife.
Those are not things you bring to the public, and in today's world with all these talk shows
and things like that, they just openly talk about these things, that's perverted.
That's sick, and it is no part of being out of your personal relationship with your spouse.
That's between husband and wife.
You don't go ahead and tell everybody about it, okay?
That's wicked, and yet you see at Baptist conferences, they do those things.
At independent, fundamental Baptist conferences, they do those things, and it's probably the
same way here in the Philippines as it is in the U.S., okay?
Chapter two, verse four, he brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over
me was love.
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Now, you just see the husband and wife, they're spending time together, and they're romantic
in their relationship.
What I want you to understand though is this, that when it comes to spending time with one
another, complimenting one another, finding them attractive, staying attractive, and having
good maintenance, the romance will automatically come if you do those other things, okay?
Those are automatically going to come.
Now, let me say this, that we don't go on and on talking about this, but we're not like
the Catholic church that literally taught for a long time period that it was a sin for
husbands and wives to be together.
They say the only reason to be together is basically to have kids, and they taught for
a long time it was a sin for husband and wife to be together.
That's ridiculous.
That is not what the Bible teaches.
Obviously, once you're married, you can have that relationship that's only for husband
and wife, and here's the thing, if you're doing the other things to have a good marriage,
it's going to just automatically come forth because you care about them, that you love
them, okay?
Now, turn to chapter eight.
We'll look at one last place, chapter eight.
Now, here's the thing.
I'm not giving you any deep, dark secrets today, like if you just do this magic trick,
you just eat this special type of bread on every Tuesday, it'll give you a good marriage
or something like that.
These are just the basics in life.
Spending time with one another, that's a given.
I would hope you would have already agreed with that, that if I want to have a good marriage,
we need to spend time together, but you need to apply this, okay?
Which means that, look, if you're tired, you still need to put aside other distractions,
and I would say this, that even when your life spends out of control, one area you don't
want spending out of control is your marriage, okay?
I understand life is busy, and it's very easy to say, well, I'll just forsake this.
I'll focus on other things.
This is not the thing to forsake and say, I'll just forsake my relationship with my
spouse and my kids and just focus on these other things I need to get done.
No, you need to find time to do these things.
You need to find time to spend time together.
You need to make sure you're making it a point to compliment one another.
Just on a daily basis, you compliment one another, and one of those things is with attractiveness.
You compliment that you find them attractive, and just staying attractive for your spouse
and having good personal maintenance, if you do those things, you're going to have a good
marriage.
Now, given in these things, obviously, if you're not a godly person, then you're not
going to have a good marriage.
I understand that.
I'm not telling you to forsake.
I think that's kind of given in this sermon, that yes, you're still living for the Lord.
I'm just saying if you want a good marriage, these are the basic things that if you do
them, the Bible shows you, you're going to have a good marriage.
Chapter 8, verse 13, chapter 8, verse 13, it says, Thou that dwellest in the gardens,
this is her speaking to Solomon, the companions hearken to thy voice, cause me to hear it.
What she's saying is basically, Solomon, you're a very busy guy.
This is a big theme throughout, but basically, you know what?
Cause me to hear your voice.
I just want to spend time with you.
It starts chapter 1, where she wants to spend time with her husband.
In chapter 8, she realizes he's a busy guy, and everybody else is hearing your voice,
the people you're working with, your friends, your companions, but cause me to hear it as
well.
Just take time so I can spend time with you.
Look, this is important for both husbands and wives, but it's especially important for
us guys to realize this, because the main theme you're seeing is that she really misses
her husband.
Now, obviously, I miss my wife.
I like spending time with her, but the reality is that when you're working and you're very
busy, sometimes you can just focus on work and not think about those other things.
You need to take time during the day, that five minutes, to send those text messages
or to make that call.
I understand your life can be really busy, but just every once in a while, just updating,
saying how things are going, that's a very important thing.
Now, the question that's going to come to your mind, though, in this sermon, which is
something that came to my mind when I was writing this, is you kind of wonder, why is
it that this is Solomon who's writing this?
Because Solomon married a thousand women, because in the Bible, concubines and wives
are used interchangeably.
Concubines are a type of wife, but a thousand wives, and you say, why in the world Solomon,
why am I going to get my marriage advice from Solomon?
Well, a couple of things.
One, this is before he had all those other wives, and quite honestly, we don't really
know what happened to his first wife.
I'll be honest with you, the romantic inside of me really kind of hopes that just kind
of something happened with his wife, and then he could no longer be with her.
Maybe she tragically passed away, and then he became depressed, but I'll be honest, I
don't think that's what took place.
I think the reason why this is Solomon writing this is it shows you you can have a very good
marriage today and have a terrible marriage six months from now, one year from now.
You say, Brother Stuckey, I already have a great marriage.
That doesn't mean you're going to have a great marriage a year from now, because I presume
that when it comes to him being married to a thousand women, I don't think his wife died.
That's the romantic inside of me.
You'd like to think that Solomon was just always a great guy and everything, and it's
just something tragic that happened that made him spiral down in his life.
I don't think that's what took place.
I think what took place is they had a good marriage at one time, and these basic things
just kind of slipped out of his life.
Quite honestly, this was a large part of why Solomon's whole life was destroyed because
he had a bad marriage.
I'll be honest, I'm studying Ecclesiastes right now, and this is partially why that
gives me these opinions about the Song of Solomon, is that what you see in the beginning
of Ecclesiastes is what Solomon says on the other side of destroying his life is that
basically he half decided to live for God and half decided not to.
I'm going to give myself to wine and wisdom.
Basically he's like, I'm going to sort of live for God and sort of not live for God
and see if I end up being happier.
Guess what?
You're not going to be happy as a Christian when you live this double life of sort of
living for God and sort of not living for God.
He had a great marriage, and he was a great man of God at one time, and he ended up being
basically kind of like a laughing stock, because everybody knows Solomon married all these
wives and what is wrong with Solomon, but at one time he had a great marriage.
I'll tell you what, even for someone like me in this room or any of us, you say, I have
a great marriage.
I would never cheat on my spouse.
I'd never think of anybody else.
My desire is toward her or my desire is toward him.
We just care about one another.
I think that's great.
I hope that it stays that way your entire life, but the way it's going to stay that
way is not only that you keep living for God, but outside of living for God you find time
to spend time with one another.
You just compliment one another, and you just try to stay in shape for each other and have
good hygiene.
You know what?
If you do those things, you will have a good marriage.
You say, well, how do you know that?
Because we believe the Bible gives us the answers, and those are the basic themes you
see in the Song of Solomon.
These are not complicated things.
They're basic things, but if we choose to forsake these things, then we're going to
have a miserable marriage.
Let's close in a word of prayer.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for allowing us to be here today and just getting to see
this sermon on lessons on marriage, God.
Help us all to apply this to our lives, and even people that are not married now that
they'll remember these things and apply it once they are married, and even apply these
things when they're looking for the right person to marry God.
Our lives are busy, but help us to find time to spend time with our wives or our husbands
or our kids.
Help us not to forsake our family to serve God.
I think that's a mistake.
I think we're going to do more in the long run if we make sure we spend time with our
family and set aside other distractions in this life, God.
Help us to do these things, and help us all in this room to have great marriages and to
love our spouses.
We pray this in Jesus' name.
Amen.