All right.
We're here in Proverbs chapter 1, and as I mentioned, I wanted to preach a sermon about
my dad here today.
And actually, my mom's staying up late tonight.
It's 1115, where she lives, to watch this sermon right now.
And I think most, if not all of you are aware that a few weeks ago, I visited the U.S.
It was kind of an unplanned visit.
My dad's health has been failing for a while, but I knew he had a short time.
I visited my dad, and I learned last Sunday, just when I woke up in the morning, that my
dad had passed away.
We sorrow not as others which have no hope, because my dad is saved, he's in heaven, and
it's a great comfort.
It doesn't mean we don't sorrow though, right?
And I'm going to preach to you a sermon about my dad, and I'm not going to try to get emotional.
I'm going to try to contain my emotions.
I'm going to tell a lot of stories about my life growing up, things you may know, you
might not know.
It's very easy.
I'm an emotional guy sometimes, so I'm going to try my best to keep myself in check, but
I just ask you to give me some time maybe if I struggle to just kind of work through
that.
And I'm just going to talk to you about how I was raised.
And obviously no father is perfect, no mother is perfect, but I had a great father, I had
a great mother, they did a great job raising me.
I'll explain to you kind of what they did and various lines they drew, and you might
agree with those, you might not.
I mean that's fine, the point is just to kind of tell you how I grew up and the things that
my parents did, because they really did a great job.
And the name of the sermon is The Instruction of My Father.
The Instruction of My Father.
Now the Bible says here in verse 7, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Now verse 7 is a very famous verse, and the Bible says that the very beginning of knowledge
is fearing God, right?
And if people do not have a fear for God, then they're going to have no wisdom.
I mean you look at people in this world, they live very foolish lives, they destroy their
lives because they have no fear of God, they have no understanding of the Bible whatsoever.
And then it says in verse 8, my son, hear the instruction of thy father and forsake
not the law of thy mother.
Now why does the Bible mention this in verse 8?
Well the reason why I believe the Bible mentions the instruction of your father and the law
of your mother is because your father and your mother have your best interest at heart.
Isn't that true?
Even if a father smokes cigarettes all the time, what is he going to teach his son?
Never smoke a cigarette, right?
Even if a mom has made mistakes, she's going to teach her kids, you know, don't go down
this same road.
And, you know, if you're young here today and you're growing up, you might not realize
it, but you have a mom and a dad that love you, and their rules are meant to help you.
They're not meant to harm you, they're trying to help you.
And if you were wise, as the Bible says, you would hear the instruction of your father,
you would hear the instruction of your mother because it is going to help you in life.
I mean, I'm, you know, 39 years old now, and, you know, I have a different perspective than
when I was a lot younger, and I look back and I'm just like, man, I'm so glad of the
instruction I had from my father and my mother that helped me go down the right road in life.
Go to Ephesians chapter 6, Ephesians chapter 6, Ephesians 6.
I remember when our son Zeph was about to be born, and, you know, as the time drew closer,
because before I kind of thought, I have a lot of knowledge of the Bible, this is going
to be easy, right, whatever.
And as you get close to that date when the child's going to be born, all of a sudden,
it's like, oh man, am I ready for this?
Right?
All these questions enter into your head, and it's kind of overwhelming for a first
time parent, right?
Because I remember the first time I held my oldest son, as a guy, you know, not so as
much with the mom, but as a father, you're kind of afraid, because if I accidentally
drop them, they're going to get really hurt, it's like, oh man, right?
And you're responsible.
And I remember I was reading Ephesians 6, and this chapter was very comforting to me
as a father, because it's like all these things, what do I do about this and this and this
and this?
Here's what it says in Ephesians 6, verse 1, Children, obey your parents in the Lord,
for this is right.
Honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may
be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
Ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and
admonition of the Lord.
And the Bible really boils it down to two things, nurture and admonition.
And nurture is speaking towards showing care for your children, loving them, cherishing
them, spending time, and admonition is about correcting, admonishing, and that could mean
for a spanking, it could mean just talking to them about whatever it is, but basically
you're their friend and father, right?
That's how you can look at it.
Your friend, you know, nurture would be like being a friend, but unfortunately as a parent
sometimes you gotta be the father, which means sometimes you gotta do the admonishing, right?
Now both of these are important, but I think there's a reason nurture is mentioned first.
I do believe nurture is more important, but that's not to negate the importance of admonition,
we'll talk about both of those in this sermon.
Go to Psalm 18, Psalm 18, Psalm chapter 18, Psalm 18 verse 34, Psalm 18 verse 34, He teacheth
my hands to war so that a bow of steel is broken by mine arms.
Now this is God teaching us, and that sounds pretty hardcore, God's preparing us and teaching
us for battle and for war, but then notice what it says in verse 35, Thou hast also given
me the shield of thy salvation, and thy right hand hath holded me up, and thy gentleness
hath made me great.
You know God is actually very gentle with us as His children, it doesn't mean that we
never get punishment, but honestly it's like we deserve a lot more than we actually get.
We sin against God every single day, I mean His mercies are new every morning, and God
is very gentle as we make mistake after mistake after mistake, look it's very easy as a parent,
and I make this mistake, I'm sure my dad did as well, I don't really remember this though,
we lose our temper, we yell at our kids, or we spank too hard, or just can't control ourselves,
and obviously we're all guilty of that, and we feel bad as parents, but we need to be
very careful to be gentle with our kids, you say why, because I want my kids to be great
soul winners one day, I want them to be great, and the Bible says thy gentleness hath made
me great, go to your Bible to Deuteronomy chapter 6, Deuteronomy chapter 6, Deuteronomy
chapter 6, Deuteronomy chapter 6, the Bible says in Deuteronomy 6 verse 6, and these words
which I command thee this day shall be in thine heart, so we need to keep God's word
in our heart, and notice what it says in verse 7, and thou shalt teach them diligently
unto thy children, we ought to take heed to this that it's very important that we teach
our kids the word of God, now you might say well pastor, my kids grow up in this church
and they're hearing the word of God preached, what happens in the home is more important
than what happens in the house of God for your kids to turn out right, you need to go
home and make sure you're teaching your kids the things of God, and I might stand up here
and say never drink, never smoke, but you need to personally do that in your free time
because it doesn't say the pastor diligently teaches your children, or the man of God,
no it says that thou shalt teach them diligently, and this is true for fathers and mothers,
I think if you're a mom you can learn a lot from this as well, you know of what we need
to do is diligently teach our kids, now let me explain to you some of the things that
my parents and specifically my mom is an awesome mom, but obviously I'm specifically talking
about my dad, and let me explain to you some of the things that my parents taught me growing
up, my parents taught me that alcohol and drugs are going to destroy your life, it's
like if you drink your liver is going to fail, you're going to die at a young age, you're
going to crash driving drunk, I mean that's what my parents taught me at a young age,
my parents taught me that smoking, you smoke cigarettes you're going to get cancer at a
young age, you're going to get lung cancer, you're going to die, my parents taught me
that cursing is not for us, it's unbecoming and we shouldn't say curse words, we should
speak very purely, my parents told me that you ought to stay pure until you're married,
and not go to bed with someone before you're married, now you say well pastor, every parent
teaches this to their kids right, well I would say for the most part, but you say what's
the difference?
Because of the fact my dad lived by the things that he taught me, my dad was not a hypocrite
with what he taught me, I can say this completely honestly, I've never heard my dad say a curse
word in my entire life, I've never heard it, so for me it's just not something I've ever
done because it was a big no-no at our house, I've never seen my dad smoke and do drugs
and do these things, my parents didn't go out and get drunk or go out and drink and
everything and my parents didn't do these things so you know what they're teaching me
through their actions, it's like follow my example.
Because the thing is if you tell your kids do this, do this, do this, don't do this,
don't do this, don't do this, and you're a hypocrite, guess what?
Your kids are likely to go down the same road that you did, for example you might say well
you know what, your kids are listening to something and then they use the Lord's name
in vain and then you say no no no you can't listen to that, it's wrong, we don't accept
that, but then you're listening to YouTube or whatever and you let yourself hear the
Lord's name in vain and you make a pass because it's something that you like, when your kids
see you being a hypocrite they're going to go and do the same thing, that's just the
way that it is.
You need to live by the same standard and I'm not saying your standards are going to
be the exact same as mine or my wife's or my parents because every parent makes their
own choices, that's up to you, but you better make sure you live by the standard that you
tell your kids, otherwise they're probably not going to actually do it.
Notice what it says in verse 7, and you know by the way, God says be holy for I am holy.
God says I'm giving you the example, it's not like God's saying you know what, I commit
a lot of sin but I want you to be holy, you know what God says no be holy, why?
For I am holy.
I am following that standard that I'm teaching you to follow me.
Verse 7, and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and when should we diligently
teach our kids?
And shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house.
You know there ought to be a time where you sit down and talk to your kids, there ought
to be a time where you put aside your distractions and put away your cell phone and just spend
time talking to your kids, I mean one of the worst things, I mean social media can be used
for good but this thing is very destructive for family units isn't it?
Because instead of taking time to talk to each other, people just spend time on their
phones.
Like you might talk to someone and then they're on their phone, it's like wait what?
And there ought to be a time where we're just sitting down with our kids, you say what are
some good times?
Well maybe either breakfast or lunch or dinner depending on your work schedule.
Where at dinner you're just sitting down as a family, you pray for the food, and you just
talk to your kids, say hey how was your day?
Like I highly encourage you to talk to your kids at a young age as if they're real humans
because they are.
They're real humans with real emotions.
I will ask my son Ezra you know how was your day?
And of course he doesn't have the most eloquent response but he's like daddy my day was good,
he talks to me.
I would say talk to your kids and just ask them how their day was, how are you doing,
how was school, I mean how was whatever, just ask them what was your favorite thing today?
But there ought to be a time you're sitting down and if there's never a time you're sitting
down with your kids and talking to them, there's a problem.
The Bible says this, and when the walk is by the way, you know there ought to be a time
where you're just walking with your family.
It could be that you're at the grocery store, right, once you start having kids an exciting
date is going to Robinsons together, right, we're going to go all out to a more expensive
grocery store than the other one or whatever, I don't know, Robinsons is very expensive
sometimes.
But you're just in the grocery store just talking to one another, oh of course a great
time is going soul winning, right, families going soul winning together and here's what
you can do.
You walk by a cigarette on the ground and you say hey is that good or bad?
They're like bad.
And then you say well the body is the temple, the Holy Ghost, this will destroy your life.
I will try to always remind that to my kids when we pass a beer can or cigarettes.
So at a young age when they're not tempted to smoke a cigarette, it just gets put inside
of their head, right?
You know the one thing I'll say is you teach your kids that and then sometimes you'll see
somebody smoking and then they're walking by and they're like oh that's bad, you shouldn't
smoke.
But I think praise God, right, I've been in grabs or taxis before where we pass by a Catholic
church and my kids are just saying this church is wicked, it's evil, and I see like a cross
in the front mirror and I'm like I know this person's Catholic and it's like well good,
it's like they're teaching them the word of God.
It says and when they'll lie us down.
You know there ought to be a time where you're just lying down with your kids.
Maybe before you go to bed at night you have family prayer, we try to pray before we sleep
at night and you just talk to your kids.
And the Bible says and when they'll rise us up, meaning you wake up in the morning and
guess what?
God is first thing, meaning start your day with prayer or Bible reading and just talk
to your kids.
Now obviously understand our lives are busy, you know you're out working, you have a lot
of responsibilities but in your free time is it Facebook or your family?
What are you actually spending time with?
And I would say this, if you're a single person, when you get married you need to switch the
way you live your life because you are not in the same place as before you were married.
Especially when you start having kids, you need to switch some of your priorities.
How did my dad do these things?
I grew up in West Virginia, it's a four season state, during the winter time it's cold, there's
snow on the ground but when the weather was good my dad every Saturday morning would take
me out to the park to play baseball or soccer.
And you know, I played in a lot of soccer tournaments but honestly my greatest memories
are just going out to the park with my dad on Saturdays and just kicking a ball and just
spending time with him.
And is there anything spiritual about baseball or soccer?
There's nothing spiritual about it but it's just a matter of the fact my dad took the
time to just spend time with me.
And that might not be your kid's interest or maybe you're not free on that day and I
get that but I just remember that I would never see other fathers out there with their
kids playing.
And I didn't really appreciate it as much as I should have as a kid but now I realize
when you work you're tired and you're day off and you want to relax and it's like my
dad always made time to just take me out and just spend time.
My parents, they would always go to every soccer tournament.
I cannot remember a soccer game or soccer tournament, my parents weren't there and I
understand people's schedules are busy but what I also remember is that my parents would
often drive some of the other kids to the game because their parents weren't going.
My parents were always there for all of my games.
I remember that for us, my dad worked a Monday through Friday schedule, an 8 to 5 sort of
job and I'd be hungry, mom when is it dinner, when is it dinner?
It's like when your dad comes home, right?
Because for us, eating dinner as a family was just what we did, that was the pattern
and I might have been hungry at 4 or 4.30 but it's like when dad comes home, we sit
down, we pray, we eat dinner as a family, me, my sister and my parents.
We would often play cards together, we would often play board games together.
I remember when I was young I competed in spelling bees and math competitions and my
dad for hours would just have the list of words, he's like how do you spell this word
and just for hours upon hours.
I think to myself now and I'm thinking man that had to be pretty boring for him to just
sit there because I wanted to do these competitions and try to win and I just look and think man
it's like that's probably not the most entertaining thing for my dad to do because sometimes your
kids are interested in things that maybe you're not and what you have to do as a parent is
make it a point to be interested in what they're interested in and not just in what you're
interested in.
But my point is that my dad, he got involved with the things in my life and also the things
in the life of my sister and obviously my mom did as well but obviously I'm talking
about my dad here.
Now go to 1 Samuel 7, 1 Samuel chapter 7, 1 Samuel 7.
And this is speaking toward nurture, just spending time.
I knew growing up I have a mom and a dad that love me.
First Samuel chapter 7.
And look I'm not trying to give you an unrealistic expectation as a parent.
I do believe my parents are great.
Obviously I'm biased and nobody's perfect but it's something that I'm personally trying.
Like honestly my goal as a parent is to be as good of a father as my dad.
If I do as good as him I'll know that I've done a great job as a father.
It doesn't mean that I'll be perfect.
So I'm not sitting here saying that my parents are perfect but honestly my memories of my
parents are good memories.
So for me I'm just like I had a great father and I had a great mother.
The Bible says in 1 Samuel 7 verse 15, And Samuel judged Israel all the days of his life,
and he went from year to year in circuit to Bethel and Gilgal and Mizpah and judged Israel
and all those places.
And his return was to Ramah for there was his house, and there he judged Israel and
there he built an altar unto the Lord.
Now you know for my family obviously we live in Pampanga and I'm able to come up on a Sunday
and then go back the same day and I'm at home with my family.
We have modern conveniences like vehicles, like cars.
Realistically though in this day if you're traveling in circuit to Bethel and Gilgal and
Mizpah you're not just going to be there for a few hours.
You're going to be there for a few weeks.
You go to this area, it takes a long time.
You hop on a horse, because what do they call the old preachers?
The circuit riding preachers.
That's what you hear.
It's just like this.
Where basically they would hop on a horse and just go to one location and be there for
a few weeks and then they'd go to another location and another and then they'd go back
to where they live.
Now that means that if you have a family you're gone from your family for quite a while, right?
You say well what's your point?
Well here's my point, Samuel had a family.
See it says he's traveling around in verse 16 and it says that Ramah was his house, but
notice what it says in 1 Samuel 8 verse 1, and it came to pass when Samuel was old that
he made his sons judges over Israel.
Now the name of his firstborn was Joel and the name of his second Abiah, they were judges
in Beersheba, and his sons walked not in his ways, but turned aside after Lucre and took
bribes and perverted judgment.
See the Bible tells us at the beginning of 1 Samuel chapter 8 that his sons were just
not godly sons.
You say why is that the case?
Well I think the end of 1 Samuel chapter 7 is letting us know, because dad just did not
have time for his kids.
And what took place is they built up resentment inside of their heart toward their father.
Turn in your Bible to Proverbs chapter 13, and you know I've said it before in sermons
and obviously I have to be careful as a pastor because you know it's very easy for anyone
to work too much at whatever job you have, right?
And basically just forsake your family.
But I would say even more so as a pastor because your work being a spiritual work, if your
kids get the impression that basically God is more important than them and then church
and all these things, obviously God is number one, but if you're just always like in ministry
stuff and don't have time for your kids, it's going to cause your kids to be bitter and
resentful inside their heart because they feel like well the Bible in this church is
just taking away my dad from me.
It's going to cause them to just rebel against you and that's what we see with Samuel.
Now I think Samuel, I believe his kids were probably saved, so I'm not going to say he
was a horrible father.
Hezekiah was a horrible father in the Bible because he literally says I don't even care
about my kids and that's crazy, but I just want to remind you that you know spending
time with your kids and providing nurture, that's the first thing mentioned in Ephesians
6 verse 4, and that's going to show your kids that you love them.
I say this that you know it's more important to me that I tell my kids don't call me pastor
and you might agree or disagree, but it's like just call me dad and maybe as they get
older that will change, I don't know, but it's just like I just want to be their daddy.
You know what, I go home and I don't wear a suit and a tie.
I go home, I'm wearing shorts and a t-shirt, I'm throwing a ball with them, I'm wrestling
with my kids, I'm playing around with them, I'm just acting like a dad.
One thing that's very important is nurture.
Another thing that is very important is admonition.
Admonition or correction is very important.
By the way, I see pictures of my dad from way back and it's like my dad's on the ground
on his hands and knees and I'm on top of him you know get like a piggyback ride or whatever
and all that stuff.
My dad was always you know playing with me as a kid like that and I have all the pictures
with the memories just that he really got involved in my life growing up.
But admonition and correction is also very important.
Paul verse 13 verse 24, He that spareth his rod, hateth his son, but he that loveth him
chasteneth him betimes.
And the Bible says that if you refuse to spank you actually hate your children.
It's not that you love them, you hate them.
You know a lot of times people say I'm too loving to spank but I promise you this, everybody
that will not spank their kids will yell at their kids.
Because of the fact when your kids are acting up it's like it's very hard to control your
emotions sometimes.
And if you don't just make it a habit to spank your kids and hug them and then tell them
that you love them, what you're going to do is be very harsh and yell at your kids.
And that's going to cause bitterness and resentment.
Look, all of us that it's going to provoke your children to wrath as the Bible says.
All of us that are fathers and mothers that have spanked our kids, isn't this true?
You spank your child, you hug them and like a minute later your kids don't remember and
they're running around playing again.
It's like it's nothing.
And I was surprised because I was really scared when I first started spanking, are my kids
going to hate me?
It's like they're over it immediately.
It is an extremely rare situation where your kids hold resentment in their hearts.
Usually with just in a few minutes you say why is it?
I think that if they know that you love them then nurture overrides basically them being
upset at you.
By the way, when you spank your kids, your goal is not to embarrass your kids.
If your kids act up in public to the best of your ability, you want to go to a private
place to do that to deal with your kids.
I remember, give you an example, when I was young, it's like I acted up at church and
we grew up in a United Methodist church, I'll talk about that later on during the sermon,
but I was acting up at church or, because the Protestant church is very silent and you
can't say anything, I think I was acting up too much, I don't really remember, but I got
in trouble and my dad took me outside to the car to a quiet place and I got a spanking.
You say what was the result?
I never acted up in church ever again.
I learned my lesson.
Now my mom doesn't remember that story, my dad did remember that story though, my mom
knows she's forgotten that but my dad remembers that, but I never acted up again because I
acted up in public and I got in trouble.
I forgot to mention this yesterday, but one of my fondest memories for myself growing
up or something that I'm happy I was able to do, when I was growing up, if you got in
trouble they'd say a check mark in the US, at least where I'm from, is that what they
said, a check mark?
You get a check mark on the board or whatever and you get so many check marks, you go to
the principal's office and I was in elementary school before I was home schooled and I knew
that if I get in trouble in school, I'm going to go home and get in a lot of trouble.
And I remember that at the end of the year if you had a very small amount of check marks,
everybody who had a very small amount was taken out to Chuck E. Cheese and the school
paid for it, which Chuck E. Cheese was like the coolest place as a kid growing up.
And every single year I went to Chuck E. Cheese, you say why is that?
Because I love my parents and I didn't want to hurt them or embarrass them and because
I realized I'll get the rod, I'll get spanking if I disobey them.
And I've only had one check mark in my five years of elementary school and I did not deserve
that check mark, right?
The story was there was a kid that was acting up and he had a pair of scissors, he's trying
to cut my hair, I try to stop him, he stabs me with a pencil in the arm, I still have
the lead mark, and the teacher turns around and we both got check marks.
It's like I really had to fight not to say something, right?
And it's kind of like the basketball game where somebody does nothing wrong and the
ref gives a technical to both and the replay it's like, you know, what in the world?
But you know, I say that, just say I love my parents and my parents, you know, and I
was a very active kid growing up playing sports, but my parents taught me there's a time and
a place for things, right?
Proverbs 22 verse 15, the Bible says, foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the
rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Did you know that every child is foolish?
It's like, oh no, no, not my little child.
Look, you were also foolish when you were young.
Every single child is makulit from time to time, right?
You know that is the case.
And so, you know, don't be surprised if you see young kids that are acting up.
The question is, as the parent, do you deal with the situation?
Because when your kids act up, I mean, look, you know, I try to be discreet with my kids.
I don't want to try to embarrass them.
But you know, if you've been in our church for years when our son was younger, you know,
sometimes I'd have to go back there in a quiet place and, you know, discipline my son because
kids act up.
It's all kids are like that.
But the Bible says the foolishness is bound in the heart of a child.
The rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
It doesn't say candy shall drive it far from him.
Because if you reward bad behavior with candy, then that means they're going to be disobeying
and disobeying and disobeying.
Turn to Proverbs 23.
Proverbs 23.
You say, well, pastor, when should you start spanking your child?
Well, this is my opinion, and the Bible does not have an exact age, but I would say the
reason you spank is because your kids are disobedient.
So here's the thing.
At what age do your kids know the word N-O, no, and they do not listen?
So I would say that for all three of my kids before the age of 12 months, they understood
the word no, but they would disobey sometimes.
You say, well, I mean, they're too young to spank.
Well, wait a minute.
When kids are very young, the two things I've noticed they do is they try to stick
a pin or something in fans, or they try to stick something in electrical sockets.
And those are very dangerous things.
Maybe you've had a kid that's done that.
They've stuck something in a fan, and all of a sudden it does whatever, and they get
really scared and start crying.
I mean, I've had that happen with my kids before.
It's like, look, the spanking on the butt is a lot less than the potential danger in
those things.
Now, of course, you do it in a lesser amount when they're young.
You hug them.
You say you love them.
But if you don't do it at all, it's like your kids could be in real trouble.
And I would just say that my kids before the age of 12 months were able to understand the
word no, and then they start slowly learning to be more obedient.
They realize they shouldn't do this.
Now, they don't fully comprehend everything, but I'm just saying if you have the idea,
well, I'm going to wait until my kids are five years old, it's like good luck.
I think you're most likely going to change your opinion on that once your kids reach
three or whatever, you know, because unless you just want to be stubborn about it because
kids will really act up by that age if they're not getting discipline in the home.
Now, of course, you need the nurture, but you do need the admonition at a young age.
Proverbs 23 verse 13.
Withhold not correction from the Lord, for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall
not die.
Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
See, the Bible says that spanking your child can help deliver his soul from hell, can help
that child to get saved.
Now, people get all weirded out.
It's like beat him with a rod, but, you know, the Bible, I mean, there's a specific place
in the body that God gave us where you can spank your children and it inflicts pain and
it does not inflict injury.
That's the place that God has provided, and you spank your kids.
As guys, I find it easier just using my hand personally because it's quicker.
For ladies sometimes, you know, they'll have an object or whatever, and oftentimes it's
like, you know, once the kids see that object, they're just like, I'm sorry.
It's like immediate, they ask for forgiveness, right?
Go to Proverbs 19, Proverbs 19, and, you know, I say this, and, you know, when I visited
my parents, my dad did have an object.
It was like a really old-fashioned hairbrush that was really hurt, and, you know, I was
reminded.
I was there with my dad because he still has the hairbrush.
I mean, they used to make things the last back in the day, right?
And there was still that hairbrush that was really hard, and I would see that, and it
just reminded me of the spanking I got when I was a kid, right?
And look, it doesn't bother me at all.
I mean, I'm glad my parents loved me and took the time to spank me.
I mean, I don't really remember my parents yelling at me.
I reminded them just disciplining me like the Bible says.
Proverbs 19, verse 18, chasing thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare
first crying.
And why does the Bible say, let not thy soul spare first crying?
Because when you spank your kids, or you're about to, they will cry, no, no, no, please
don't do this.
But the thing is, if they've already done what's wrong and they deserve the punishment,
then you should still spank them, and then afterwards hug them and tell them that you
love them.
I'll say this, with spanking, I mean, this is, obviously as parents, if you have several
kids, sometimes your kids are acting up with one another, and you do your best to form
the best judgment on what took place, do they deserve a spanking, which one started it,
and it's not always easy.
And I'm sure I've made a lot of mistakes with my kids, right?
I'm sure my parents made a lot of mistakes with my sister and I.
You do your best, but if you love your kids, you provide nurture, then I believe that overrides
them being bitter toward you.
Now let me give you my opinion on regards to spanking, because I do believe spanking
should start before the age of one.
I also believe there's an age where you should stop spanking your children.
And I've preached this before, and let me just kind of explain to you why this is.
I don't think you should stop disciplining your kids.
Remember, you're not trying to embarrass your kids when you spank them.
If your child is a teenager and you spank your child, it is gonna embarrass them, they're
gonna be bitter, it's probably not gonna hurt, and you're gonna have to spank really hard,
and you have the potential of injuring your child, and it's gonna be bitterness inside
of your child if you're spanking them as a teenager.
Now you say, well that's your opinion, your kids are not teens, that's true, but I'm just
saying this is what my parents did with me.
They basically stopped at a certain point, and I didn't stop getting in trouble, but
that's not a punishment I got anymore.
Because when your child is as tall as you, I mean I was probably taller than my dad when
I was like 12 years old, so when I'm taller, because my dad was shorter than me, when I'm
already taller than my dad, it's kind of awkward to put your son on your knee and then spank
them.
And I believe it can cause bitterness and resentment in your kids.
Now you might agree or disagree, and that's fine, I'm just giving you my advice and just
explaining this is what my parents did with me.
Turn to Genesis chapter 48, and here's the thing, my parents didn't stop punishing me,
my dad was often my soccer coach, and I remember I got suspended from the soccer team for a
week because my parents said that I was being disrespectful to them, and I'm sure I was,
I don't really remember, but I remember them doing that, and I can tell you that was a
lot more painful than just like spanking on the butt.
And I remember, because you know the thing that frustrated me sometimes, because I was
like, you know, any other child could have talked to their parents like that and not
gotten in trouble, and it was always like, but you're not any other child, you know,
I'm your dad, she's your mom, and these are our rules, right?
And you know what, now I think, praise God, that my parents provided nurture and admonition
to me growing up.
My parents were also very strict parents.
Growing up, my parents had made a decision when they got married that when they had kids,
my mom was going to be a stay-at-home mom, and my mom was college educated, she was a
teacher, but when they had kids, my mom was going to stop working and be a stay-at-home
mom, and that's what they did when my sister was born.
And my sister and I were in the elementary school system, and at the time, homeschooling
was done by like nobody.
Homeschooling was unheard of.
My sister's two years older than me, but she also skipped a grade, so three years above
me, and my parents decided to take her out of the public school system.
One reason was because of the lack of education in the public school system.
The other reason was the lack of morality.
And my parents took my sister out, and of course, I didn't fully comprehend this as
a kid, but you know what takes place when you take your kids out of the school system
and other parents don't?
Why did you take your kids out of the school system, right?
Because of the peer pressure from other parents, because I played on soccer teams, and many
of the parents, the moms were teachers.
And so my parents were bullied by other parents saying, you gotta do what we do, because isn't
that true?
Everybody wants you to do the exact same thing as them.
But the thing is, and look, you don't have to do the exact same thing as my parents did
or that my wife and I do.
You are a mom, you're a dad, you make your own decisions, it's up to you how you raise
your kids.
I try to give advice, and you can agree with it or disagree, and that's fine.
I'm not saying I'm perfect with my advice.
I'm trying to do my best, you're trying to do your best.
But everybody wants everybody to be the same, and then they're like mad at my parents, like
why'd you homeschool your kids?
And three years later, I was also homeschooled, and I was no longer in elementary school.
Some of the examples of my parents being strict, I was not allowed to watch MTV growing up,
and that is music television, where they have all the different types of music that are
on there, whether it be rock or country or pop or whatever, and I was not allowed to
watch it.
Every other kid in Bridgeport, West Virginia was allowed to listen or watch MTV except
me and my sister.
Now I didn't really care that much, it was just like, but all the other parents, somebody's
going to ask me about this song and then I'll be embarrassed, I don't know.
Some other examples were, I remember I was in fifth grade in the last year of elementary
school in the US, and they wanted to let the kids watch a PG-13 movie in class.
And so you had to get parental approval, they had to sign to say our kid, that is not 13
years old, can watch this PG-13 movie.
And my parents refused to sign it.
I'm like, please, I'll mow the lawn for the next three months, right, I don't even care
about, I'll sleep during the movie, right, just please sign the form.
And was I tempted to do a fake signature?
I was tempted, I'll admit, but I was like if I ever get caught I'm going to get in real
trouble then.
My parents refused to sign it.
Now there was one other kid who also refused to sign it, and I've said this before, it's
very interesting, he was not raised fundamental Baptist and he's an independent fundamental
Baptist today, his parents are also very strict.
So it just kind of shows you being strict does not drive your kids away from the truth.
That is just not true, it's not my experience at all.
Some of the other things, you know, my parents had very strict rules for the things that
we watched and listened to and it had an impact because my parents were not watching dirty
or bad things.
They're not perfect, I'm not saying they were, I'm not saying we never did anything that
maybe they would change their mind on now, but I'm just saying they had strict standards,
they live by those standards though.
When I went over to friends' houses, first thing I had to do, if one of the friends picked
me up, first thing was call my parents when I got there, and then after I call, my parents
have to talk to their parents and say, okay, what time are they going to be at the house,
where are they going, and then it's like, alright, at 1pm and 3pm and 5pm you're going
to call us, and I knew I had to call at these exact times.
I'm very thankful in hindsight because it's like, my parents really made sure to protect
me from various things that could have taken place.
One of the rules that my parents had, I was not allowed to go on an unchaperoned date
until I was 18 years old.
Now that might not sound crazy in the Philippines, but does that not sound crazy in the U.S.?
No unchaperoned dates until you're 18 years old.
It's like, that is far stricter than any parents in the town that I was.
I was like, okay, I'm not going to go on a date until I'm 18 then.
It's like, I'm not going to go on a date with my parents there, right?
And so my parents were protecting me from those influences.
You say, pastor, you sound like you're raised as a fundamental Baptist.
It really does, doesn't it?
My parents restrict.
This past week, I was reading my dad's obituary, and I knew my dad grew up in Kansas, but I
didn't know what part of Kansas, and I read that he was born in Newton, Kansas, and my
dad had talked about his upbringing, and he had told me about how it was a violent
place where he grew up.
And I want to read to you about Newton, Kansas, which was his birth city.
In August 1871, there was a gunfight at Hyde Park in which a total of eight men were killed.
The incident began with an argument between two local lawmen, Billy Bailey and Mike McCluskey.
Because of this incident, Newton became known as bloody and lawless, dashed the wickedest
city in the West.
This is where my dad was born.
Now, from my understanding, my dad said it was kind of like there was one-third Hispanics,
one-third whites, and one-third blacks.
And during that time, that could be a dangerous thing, so it's kind of like you got to get
connected to groups, almost like gangs, just for protection, which my dad didn't do that.
But that's sort of like the pressure, because there's a lot of violence.
And you know, he told me that where he grew up, there were rapes that took place.
There was murders.
I mean, there was a lot of violence that took place where he grew up.
And I'm going to tie that, you know, into the sermon here.
You know, let me just say this, because I got off track, I forgot, my wife reminded
me I should mention, one thing my dad did growing up, when we were growing up, when
I was young, my parents were below middle class, you know, we were not a rich family
by any means.
Obviously, by American standards, that's different than here, but you know, my dad was struggling
to pay the bills.
Week by week, we're a one-income family.
My dad had opportunities to work jobs where he would be gone Monday through Friday and
come back on the weekends, and he always turned down those jobs.
Because he said, you know what, money is just not the most important thing to our family.
I need to be there with my kids, and with my wife and my kids.
And looking back, I'm thinking, man, my parents, they made a lot of sacrifices to spend time
with me and my sister.
And I look back and I think, you know what, I think that nurture really made a big impact
on me, even though I didn't realize it or appreciate it at the time.
One of the things my dad taught me, realized he grew up with a lot of violence, you know,
one thing he taught me as a kid, he said that the LGBT, which at the time was just, I guess,
homosexual, they are twisted in the head, they are violent people, and they are a danger
to a normal person, that's what my dad told me growing up.
And by the way, a lot more people believe that in the past than now, but that's what
I was taught growing up, that these people are twisted in the head.
My dad taught me there are people that have no salvation, they are just bad people, they're
never going to change.
And without realizing, you know, on the Bible, he was essentially telling me the reprobate
doctrine, right?
So yeah, I mean, it's like I was raised as a fundamental Baptist, right?
As I mentioned, I was raised, we went to church, normally at a United Methodist Church.
My parents were definitely not Catholic, but they were just kind of Protestant in general,
and United Methodist was like the church we happened to go to.
And you know, obviously the United Methodist Church teaches a work of salvation, right?
I did not grow up, I didn't get saved at a young age, and you know, even though I was
raised as if I was a fundamental Baptist, I was raised United Methodist.
When I was in college as a freshman, I heard the gospel, and I believed on Christ.
And I do believe that because my parents were very good parents, it made it a lot easier
for me to get saved.
I understood there is a loving God that will also punish if necessary, just like my parents
were.
And so even though I wasn't saved, they were really, I think, preparing me to be a pastor
even before I was saved, because these moral standards were inside of me.
Well, when I got saved, the first thought that went to my head was, what about my mom
and my dad and my sister?
That's the first thing I thought about.
You say, why?
I had a lot of love in my heart for my parents.
And I'm amazed, people that get saved, and it's like they don't care about the loved
ones and their family, the people they knew.
I don't understand that, but that is often true.
But for me, the next day, I called my parents on the phone.
And of course my gospel presentation was not eloquent at the time.
I didn't know what to say.
I tried to talk to my dad and explain.
The hang-up my dad had at first is because he grew up in a violent area, and he realized
there are people that have no salvation.
I'm like, you can believe and go out and do whatever you want, and you're going to heaven.
And my dad's just like, that doesn't make sense to me.
Because you have to understand his perspective.
We go soul winning, and usually we don't have to talk about the reprobate doctrine.
But it's true that sometimes it's a hang-up for people, right?
And for my dad, because of his experiences, that was a hang-up that made it hard.
Of course, I didn't know how to explain the gospel.
I've said before, because my dad asked me questions, and I think I missed everything.
He's like, well, what about Judas Iscariot?
I was like, I don't know if he was saved or not, but if he was, he was still saved after
betraying Jesus, right?
I didn't know what to say.
I mean, obviously I was newly saved.
But I had love in my heart where I wanted to get my family saved.
Of course, if you love your family, and look, I'm sure many of you right now, you have lost
parents.
And probably a lot of you are at this situation.
Every time you visit, you want to talk to them about the gospel.
And sometimes it can reach a point where it's like, do I still bring it up?
Because they don't want to talk about it.
They get mad.
And every time I go home to college, I try to talk to my dad.
And of course, it did become a source of a little bit of friction for a little while,
because I love my dad.
I want to explain the gospel, and it's like, man, I don't want to stop.
What do I have to do?
I mean, I tried to pray and pray and pray that something would happen where I could
help explain it to my dad.
Fast forward about four and a half years after I got saved.
I had a good friend that tragically drowned.
I went stolen with him a couple times every week.
And he tragically drowned.
And I graduated college, and I decided to make a big change.
And I moved to Phoenix or Tempe, Arizona to go to Faith Ward Baptist Church.
And obviously, Pastor Steven Anderson, the pastor of the church.
And my dad, he drove me out as I went.
I drove, and well, we took turns driving.
And then he was going to ride the train back, because my dad doesn't like flying.
He doesn't like heights.
This is why my parents told me, we will pay for you to visit as much as you want in the
US, but we don't really want to fly to the Philippines.
Not because of the Philippines, they just don't really like flying.
But my dad drove me out, and the agreement we made was that we basically shared the stereo,
so I would get to listen to a sermon, and then he would listen to a CD of music.
So my idea was, okay, we put in a sermon, and then when he puts in the CD, I put on
headphones of a sermon, right?
And this was in the old days, so I had like a hundred sermons from Pastor Anderson that
I had marked, alphabetized, and all this.
And I remember I put in the first sermon, and my dad was shocked, because he had never
heard anything like that, you know?
And he's like, he really liked the sermon.
You say, wow, doesn't hard preaching drive people away from the truth?
No, it does not.
And my dad heard it, and he's like, do you have a sermon on drinking?
I specifically remember him asking that, and I said, yes I do.
I went to A, alcohol.
And then I put in that sermon.
And instead of it being 50-50, you know what it ended up being?
Like 40 straight hours, because it's a long ways.
You can ask the other men from the US, there's a long ways from West Virginia to Arizona.
It's like 30-some hours or whatever.
I guess Sacramento's the one that's like 43 hours.
It's a long drive.
And so basically we just listened to Pastor Anderson for like 35 hours or something like
that, just non-stop, except when we were...
And you know, honestly I had felt my dad was warming up more toward me, because of course
when you first get saved, your parents are wondering, is this new?
Are you going to change?
They're kind of waiting for it to stick, right?
And so my dad was listening to all this, and of course in the back of my head I'm thinking,
my dad is hearing the gospel along the way, and I'm thinking, I hope he's saved, I hope
he's saved, I hope he's saved.
So we go out to Arizona, and then I remember the Sunday morning sermon.
I bring my dad to church, and the church was a lot smaller then, and you know, Pastor Anderson's
preaching and he goes on a rabbit trail about the United Methodist Church.
He had no idea.
He had no idea that, and he's told this story before.
He had no idea that I grew up in a United Methodist Church, and he goes on a rabbit
trail for like 20 minutes, and of course I'm thinking, of all topics, why?
Now in hindsight, I realized that's really what my dad needed to hear, and you know,
he heard that sermon, and we had soul winning, and I wasn't trying to force my dad to come
soul winning with me.
My dad said, you know what, I'll come soul winning with you.
So my dad, and I wasn't going to force my dad to be with me.
I thought that might be awkward.
I said, it's up to you if you want to go with somebody.
He's like, no, I want to go with you.
And so he was my silent partner.
I vividly remember, I talked to this guy with long hair, tattoos, you know, earrings and
all this stuff.
He didn't look like he would listen to the gospel, and he was very humble, and he listened,
and my dad heard me give the gospel, and what was really cool was the specific questions
that I think might have been a hindrance to my dad, that guy brought up, and it's not
like I was telling this directly to my dad.
I was telling it to some other unsaved person, but my dad was hearing my answers.
And of course, I had developed a lot of wisdom over four and a half years being saved, because
when I was first got saved, I didn't know how to say anything, but obviously my dad
could see, you know, my son, you know, this is making sense, you know, it's all fitting
together.
So I remember, we get done soul winning, and we're riding in the car, myself, my dad, Pastor
Anderson, someone else from the church, and Pastor Anderson asks, he's like, you know,
how did it go?
And then my dad just starts talking, he's like, man, it was great, so many people were
close, they just didn't understand eternal security.
And I'm like, and I was excited.
My heart was literally pumping because I'm thinking, man, maybe my dad's saved now, maybe
he got it, because that was really the thing, eternal security we talked about.
On the way back to my apartment, my dad told me, he's like, I just wanted to let you know
that when that person prayed to receive Christ, in my heart, I asked Jesus Christ to be my
Savior too.
And my dad got baptized that night by Pastor Anderson, and you know, my dad has gone soul
winning with me several times since then, and you know, this is my most exciting soul
winning moment, I don't think it can ever be topped.
And it was very exciting to see, I mean, never give up on your family.
Obviously, you can get a lot of people saved, but the impact of getting your mom or your
dad or your family member or close friend saved is far more powerful than anything else,
and it's all worth it.
I feel like if I spent my entire life just for that one moment, that one moment alone
would be worth it to me.
Um, let me just fast forward to the present day, or to a couple weeks ago.
My dad, you know, he recently got sick on Christmas a year and a half ago.
My dad, when I was in high school, he got prostate cancer, and he was able to live with
prostate cancer, but it affected him, and eventually, his health started to go down,
and you know, I wasn't originally planning to visit the U.S. this year, because generally
when you visit from a long ways away, you want to stay for a little bit of time, because
the jet lag and all these things, but you know, I realized it might be too late if I
don't go to visit, so I booked the ticket to visit the U.S., my family stayed here,
and you know, just a couple weeks ago, and I had like a 10 to 11 hour layover in San
Francisco.
I mean, the flight schedule was horrible, there was no other options, I mean, it was
like a 29 hour flight just to get to D.C., and then I had to drive a couple hours.
I slept for about, I don't sleep well on planes, so I slept about an hour and a half, and then
I drove, and when I got home, I was like, I'm so tired, right?
When I got to my parents' house, but when I was in San Francisco, you know, a long layover,
and I was not about to fall asleep in San Francisco, you know, overnight, it's too dangerous
of a place, and so I did a lot of Bible reading, I was walking around, obviously I'm thinking
about my father, I'm very emotional, thinking about all these things, and I was reading
Genesis 48, and I've read this plenty of times, but just something really stepped into my
focus that I had never thought about.
And in Genesis 48 verse 1, the Bible reads this, Genesis 48 verse 1, and it came to pass
after these things that one told Joseph, behold thy father is sick, and he took with him
his two sons, Manasseh and Ephraim.
And one told Jacob and said, behold thy son Joseph cometh unto thee, and notice this,
and Israel strengthened himself and sat upon the bed.
You see in the story that Jacob is about to pass away, and when he finds out his son's
there, he gathers his strength to actually sit up, and he's there communicating with
his dad.
You know, this past week I was talking to my, my sister was at my mom's, and I was talking
to them on Skype, and they were saying that they could not believe it.
They said, you know, they didn't think that I was going to be able to visit in time, and
they said that they saw my dad, he was just more energized than he's been in more than
six months.
And you know, when I got there, I got there late at night and he stayed up for a few hours,
my dad had basically been sleeping like 18 hours a day, you know, not being awake much.
The next day, my dad was basically awake for like, I mean the entire day, like 14 hours,
and he's talking to me, and he's able to communicate, I mean obviously I could tell he was weak
and everything like that, but he strengthened himself.
And I was just amazed, it's like seeing the Bible come to life.
And you know, I had a great visit back in the US, I didn't do anything exciting, I just,
you know, stayed at my house, my sister's family came down, I got to spend time with
them, and you know, it was amazing, and you know, what we kind of expected would take
place was basically, that was kind of like the last thing that, you know, my dad was
waiting for, and of course, you know, he passed away a few days after I came back, and you
know, I'm, it was about the same part in the sermon yesterday where I started to lose my
emotions a bit, and you know, I do have sorrow in my heart, but not as others which have
no hope, because I have the complete confidence that my dad is in heaven today.
And you know, I think back to how I was raised, and I just think, man, with the knowledge
my parents had, they did an amazing job raising, you know, me and my sister.
And they provided nurture, they provided admonition, they were not hypocrites about it whatsoever,
and you know, honestly, for the most part, I'm trying to follow just the same way as
a father.
I get reminded sometimes I might feel guilty when I'm on my cell phone, it's late at night,
my kids want to spend time, and I just kind of think to my dad sometimes, and I was like,
you know what, I'm going to put away my cell phone, this doesn't matter, my kids are more
important than that, right?
And you know, I just want to try to encourage all of you that are a father and a mother,
you know, the Bible speaks about the virtuous woman, at the end of Proverbs 31, you know,
the Bible talks about how her children praise her in the gates, and you know, basically
they praise her for just being a great mom, I think the same is true as a father, and
I would say that, you know what, it's worth it to put in your time and effort to raise
your kids.
Because I can sit here today and say I have the utmost love in my heart for my mom and
my dad, you know, and you know, honestly, this past week, my mom was reminded of some
things and she feels guilty about stuff from like 30 years ago, my sister and I are like,
we don't remember that at all, I don't remember you yelling at me, because every parent's
lost their tempers or made mistakes or whatever, and I just kind of think the underlying thing
is this, that if you really provide nurture, I mean if your kids really realize, because
the reality is that at a young age you have your children's heart.
What does every boy want to be when he grows up?
I want to be just like daddy.
What does every girl want to be like when she grows up?
I want to be just like mommy.
You have your children's heart at a young age, and I would just say don't just put your
children on the back burner and realize, you know what, it's obviously, and I'm starting
a new series next week on having a balance, a proper balance, we're going to talk about
a lot of things, not necessarily the most exciting sermon series, but just having a
proper balance on all things, because it's very easy to just dive into one thing and
be kind of unbalanced in our lives, and I would just say it's a reminder, this is not
a Father's Day sermon or a Mother's Day sermon, but just kind of a reminder to all of us,
including myself, try your best, put in your time and your effort and your care into your
kids.
Let's close in with a prayer.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for allowing us to be here today, and just thank you for
lessons we can learn here from the Bible, God, and I ask you to help all the fathers
and all the mothers in this room and all the future fathers and future mothers, God, help
us all to do a good job, God, forgive us for our shortcomings, help us do our best to provide
nurture and admonition, I ask you to help guide us, I ask you to help us just to do
the best we can and put aside other things and put our kids first, God, we pray these
in Jesus' name, amen.