All right, we're here in Hebrews chapter 12, and I want you to look down at verse number
15, and the Bible reads in Hebrews chapter 12 verse 15, looking diligently, lest any
man fail of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and
thereby many be defiled.
And I want to preach on bitterness here today, and the name of the sermon is, Get Bitter
or Get Better.
Get Bitter or Get Better.
This is kind of a phrase I heard in a sermon from Pastor Jimenez recently, and I was like,
oh, that would make a good sermon, where he talked about either getting bitter or get
better about a situation.
And in this verse, it talks about the root of bitterness.
Now when it says the root of bitterness, realize every word in your Bible is there for a reason.
Picture a tree.
If you have a tree, the branches are easy to break off, right?
It's easy to take the leaves off, but what if you have a root that's dug down into the
ground?
Is it going to come up very easily?
No, you can't.
It's going to be very, very difficult, and the Bible's indicating if you let bitterness
get on the inside of you, it will destroy you.
And what it says here is, springing up trouble you.
And the way I read this, it basically means that bitterness might not always every single
day just spring up and just show your problems, but when certain situations come up, it's
going to reveal that you've got bitterness on the inside, and it's going to spring up.
And you might have a lot of days where you're going soul winning, reading the Bible, in
a good mood, and then out of nowhere just being really angry.
And what that might be is the root of bitterness on the inside of you that springs up at certain
times.
Okay?
Now go to Proverbs 14.
Proverbs chapter 14.
Proverbs 14.
Now one problem with bitterness is that oftentimes people that are bitter, they don't even really
realize they're bitter.
That's one of the problems, I mean, really with all of our characteristics, like pride
and envy and bitterness, and whatever our problems are, we don't see it.
Right?
It would be like eating french fries and getting ketchup all over your face, and you
look at the mirror and you're like, I don't see anything wrong.
That's the way we are, right?
It's like we choose not to see the flaws in ourselves, and we oftentimes do not know that
we're bitter, but there is one part of our body that knows that it's bitter.
And the Bible says in Proverbs 14 verse 10, the heart knoweth his own bitterness.
The heart knoweth his own bitterness.
And what the indication is that if you are secretly bitter, deep down on the inside you
know that.
And see, what can reveal that is the preaching of God's Word, which is quick and powerful,
sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit
and of the joints of marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.
So really the only cure to fixing bitterness is the Word of God being preached.
Because it is what has the power to get on the inside and make you feel uncomfortable,
and then you've got a decision to make.
Whether you're going to follow what the Bible says or whether you're not going to follow
what the Bible says.
But what the Bible says is the heart knoweth his own bitterness.
But here's the thing.
We talked about following our heart a few weeks ago, right?
And what we showed from the Bible is that your heart is selfish, and your heart does
not want to fix its problems.
The heart will lie to the rest of you, and the heart is deceitful and desperately wicked,
and the heart knows it's bitter, but then it fools the rest of your body.
Because the heart wants what the heart wants, right?
We talked about that.
Go to Ruth chapter 2, Ruth 2, Ruth 2.
What I want to do in this sermon is look at various areas of our lives where we have a
tendency as people to become bitter.
We get angry and mad at certain situations in our life, and we would be better off getting
better instead of getting bitter.
Point number one is within a family setting.
What are things that tend to make people bitter sometimes?
One of the major things that people get bitter about that will cause them to stop serving
God is being single.
People often get bitter because they want to get married, and then they start to get
older and they're single, and they get bitter about it instead of getting better.
Now on a biblical standpoint, if there's one person who had a right to get bitter, wouldn't
it be Ruth?
Ruth was a young woman who was married, and her husband died.
Wouldn't that be a terrible thing?
You're waiting to get married, you're excited, you're married, and then your husband ends
up dying.
Not only does her husband die, she's in Moab, and she believes on Jesus Christ, and she
believes on the coming Messiah, and then she basically relocates and changes her entire
life.
Now I want you to realize that when Ruth moved, it was pretty much she was never going to
get married.
Logically speaking, Ruth is probably not going to get married.
You say, why?
Well, for one, she's from Moab, and most people didn't want to marry somebody from Moab.
And number two, because honestly, she was a widow, and you know, probably most guys
that are 25, 30 years old are probably not going to want to marry someone who is a widow,
right?
Now of course we know that she ends up getting married, and God blesses her, but I'm just
saying in her situation, she had every right to be bitter if there was one person.
But notice what it says in Ruth 2, verse 5.
Then said Boaz on to a servant that was set over the reapers, whose damsel is this?
And the servant that was set over the reapers answered and said, it is the Moabitesh damsel
that came back with Naomi out of the country of Moab.
And she said, I pray you, let me glean and gather after the reapers among the sheaves.
So she came and hath continued even from the morning until now that she tarried a little
in the house.
And what the indication is, he has the servant set over the reapers, and she told that servant,
and I just work, and then she took a small break in the house.
What it's indicating is she worked very hard.
And what ends up happening with Ruth is she becomes the sole provider for her family.
Okay?
Now I want you to realize, during these days, most jobs were not, you know, on a computer.
They're laboring jobs.
And the truth is, as sexist as you might think this is, men are better working out on a farm
than women.
They have the ability because they're stronger.
They're just built that way.
And it doesn't make them more intelligent.
It just means that men and women are created differently.
Well, how dare you say that?
Well, the Bible says women are the weaker vessel.
And I believe that's in physically but also emotionally and things like that.
But the other thing is, when they bought servants, men cost more money.
You say why?
Because men had the ability to do more work in a laboring sort of job than women.
Look, that should be obvious to people.
Men are stronger than women.
There's really not anything controversial about that.
Or there should not be, okay?
And so she becomes the sole provider for her family.
You know what?
That's pretty tough.
Now the reason why she is, and we'll look at this later, is she moves and leaves Moab
to serve God.
And when she's doing that, she knows she's going to be the provider not just for herself
but also Naomi.
Couldn't you see how this could be something that would make somebody bitter?
I'm single, but I've just decided, you know what, I'm going to serve God, and now I'm
not going to be able to get married.
I've got to work, and I don't get to raise a family like I wanted to.
This could have easily made her bitter.
But yet, Boaz notices her because she has a good attitude.
She doesn't get bitter.
She's not angry.
She's just working hard and just trying to do what's right.
Notice what it says in verse 8.
Then said Boaz unto Ruth, Hearest thou not my daughter?
Go not to glean in another field, neither go from hence, but abide here fast by my maidens.
Let thine eyes be on the field that they do reap, and go thou after them.
Have I not charged the young men that they shall not touch thee?
And when thou art a thirst, go unto the vessels and drink of that which the young men have
drawn.
And so Boaz kind of gives her a privileged position being with the other maidens that
are getting food.
And he basically warns the men not to touch her.
And what the indication is, he's putting out an extra warning, don't allow anything to
happen to her.
Because the reality is, I mean, things could happen to ladies if out in the farm when nobody
sees them, right?
And so he's making an extra warning where if anybody does anything to her, they're going
to be in trouble.
And as you go on with this story, Boaz says, let some food just kind of drop down right
before her, right?
Because when you're going and gleaning from the field, you're only getting kind of the
leftovers, right?
Like if you eat fruit, for example, if you eat grapes, you know, a lot of the grapes
taste really good, but there's always ones that are shriveled up and messed up.
And those are going to be the leftovers that are going to be left in the field.
And what Boaz says is basically just let some good corn fall, let some good food fall.
That way she can provide for her family, her and Naomi, okay?
Now turn in your Bible to Genesis 29, Genesis 29, Genesis 29.
And when you go on with that story, Boaz says, I've heard that you're a virtuous woman.
You know, kind of a good trivia question in the Bible is, who is the only woman ever called
virtuous in the Bible?
And it's actually an unmarried woman, Ruth.
She's the only woman.
I'm not saying she's the only woman who is virtuous, okay?
This clip is going to be taken, Brother Stucky Sexes, right?
But she's the only one ever called virtuous.
And that shows and proves you can be virtuous whether you're single or married.
That's what the Bible teaches.
And here's the thing, of course, we understand the difference in roles between men and women,
but in her situation, what she had to do was to provide for her family nothing wrong, nothing
sinful about that, okay?
And you know what?
Here's the thing, though.
If there's anybody that could have been bitter, it would have been her.
But you know what?
Instead of getting bitter, she got better.
Now, look, I got married when I was 30 years old.
I got saved at 18 years old.
And I would have been happy to get married when I graduated college because I was never
into partying.
You know, I was homeschooled most of my life.
And so for me, I'm like, hey, you get done with work, you just want to go home.
I would have been happy to have a family when I was a lot younger.
And look, I understand for you that are single in this room and you know you're waiting for
the right person, that's a very difficult thing.
It's not easy.
And I've seen many people, instead of waiting for the right person, they marry a Catholic.
I'm talking about Baptists.
They marry somebody who's an unbeliever.
They marry somebody of another religion because, well, they're beautiful, they're fair, right?
It's like, no, you're better off waiting for the right person, okay?
Hey, some people meet the right person when they're in their 20s, some people in their 30s.
You're better off waiting for the right person, though.
But this is definitely something that people get bitter about and then they get frustrated
and they have this attitude, you know what, I'm trying to serve God, I'm going to church,
I'm going soul winning, I'm reading the Bible, and God has not blessed me.
And they get bitter about it, but does getting bitter fix the situation?
See, what Ruth did was she made herself the best possible candidate to get married.
And she did get married.
And God blessed her.
And look, if you're a single person looking to meet the right person, make yourself the
best possible candidate to get married.
Now if you're a guy, what that means is, you know what, figure out a career and start saving
up money so you have a career so you can support a family, make yourself the best possible
candidate as a guy.
It'd be very easy to complain and say, oh, I'm single, it's not fair, blah, but you're
never going to get married if that's your attitude.
Instead, get better, okay?
And if you're a lady, then you know what, be a godly person, serve God, have a meek
and quiet spirit, so when a godly man does come, he's going to look at you and say, that's
the sort of girl I've always wanted to marry.
You make yourself the best possible candidate.
You say, why?
Getting bitter doesn't fix it.
Look, I understand how it feels.
I didn't get married when I was at a really young age, and I would have liked to, but
I didn't meet the right person, okay?
But getting bitter is not going to fix your situation.
See, people have this attitude, if I just got married, it would fix all my problems.
But the same people that get bitter when they're single are the same people that are going
to get bitter when they're married.
Let me show this to you in Genesis 29.
One thing that makes people bitter oftentimes is being single.
Another thing that oftentimes makes people bitter is just parts of being a wife.
Oftentimes wives get bitter.
And look, we'll look at the men later on, and next week's sermon is Father's Day, and
I'm never that kind to the guys, okay?
Don't worry, ladies, that's coming next week.
But being a wife, there are many things that can make a wife very bitter against her husband
or against God or against the things of God, okay?
Let me give you an example in Genesis 29.
And the first aspect that makes wives sometimes bitter is my husband does not spend enough
time with me.
And this is not just my opinion, we're going to see it in the Bible.
Genesis 29, verse 30, and he went in also unto Rachel, and he loved also Rachel more
than Leah, and served with him yet seven other years.
So obviously, Jacob's married to Rachel and Leah.
And it says here in verse 31, and when the Lord saw that Leah was hated, he opened her
womb, but Rachel was barren.
And Leah conceived and bare a son, and she called his name Reuben, for she said, Surely
the Lord hath looked upon my affliction, now therefore my husband will love me.
Now think about what she's saying.
Does she sound like a happy person or a bitter person?
Surely now my husband's going to love me.
God's looked on my affliction.
She's talking about being miserable.
You can see the bitterness inside of her, and when that child's born, surely now my
husband will spend time with me and love me, is what she's basically saying.
Then let's look at when the next child's born, verse number 33.
And she conceived again and bare a son, and said, Because the Lord hath heard I was hated,
he hath therefore given me this son also, and she called his name Simeon.
And so she says, I was hated.
Doesn't that sound like a bitter woman?
She sounds very bitter.
Verse 34, And she conceived again and bare a son, and said, Now this time will my husband
be joined on to me, because I have borne him three sons.
Therefore was his name called Levi.
So every time a child's born, she's focusing on the fact, My husband doesn't want to spend
time with me.
My husband doesn't love me.
My husband doesn't care about me.
Look, of course, husbands should love and care and spend time with their wives.
Of course, we're going to talk about men here in a little bit.
But look, her attitude of he doesn't spend enough time with me, that's a pretty common
thing in today's world, too.
Many wives would say, My husband just doesn't spend enough time with me.
He's always busy.
He's always working.
It's like, well, yeah, I mean, he could just spend all day with you, and you could be homeless.
Right?
It's like, yeah, you know what?
He's working.
It takes a lot of time.
It takes a lot of work.
He's busy.
It's exhausting.
It's like, yeah, you know what?
He's busy.
And look, here's the thing.
You might have that complaint, and maybe you have a valid reason.
But you know what?
Leah has more of a reason to be bitter, because her husband is literally married to multiple
women.
I'm assuming your husband's not.
And if he is, then church discipline might be necessary.
That's something I need to know as a church leader, all right?
But it's just like, she could have a situation where she's legitimately bitter, but here's
the thing.
Her being bitter is not going to fix the situation.
But you can sense the bitterness inside of her.
You say, well, Brother Stuckey, what do you do in a situation like that?
Well, notice what it says in verse 35.
And she conceived again and bare a son, and she said, Now will I praise the Lord.
Therefore she called His name Judah and left bearing.
There is bitterness in verse 32.
There is bitterness in verse 33.
There is bitterness in verse 34.
Was there any bitterness in verse 35?
None.
You know what she's saying?
I'm thankful for the blessings God has given me.
I'm thankful God has blessed me with children.
Hey, maybe life did not end up exactly like she wanted, but she says, I'm going to praise
the Lord.
And as a Bible-believing Christian, every one of us could say that.
No matter what happens in your life, you know what?
I'm going to praise the Lord for what God has given me.
Now, look, she has a legitimate reason to be mad at her husband, because he literally
does love Rachel more than Leah at this time.
And he spends more time, obviously, with Rachel than Leah.
But you know what?
Leah learned to become better instead of becoming bitter.
And the big complaint that Leah had is, My husband doesn't spend enough time with me.
And look, that is one of the big complaints that ladies have today.
Their husbands don't spend enough time with them, right?
Now keep your finger in Genesis and go to Proverbs 21.
Proverbs 21.
Now, I hate to be harsh to you ladies, but here's the reality.
There might be a reason why your husband is not making time for you.
Everything we look at we prove from the Bible, right?
So if you get offended, you're getting offended with God's words.
And look, this is going to be a harsh sermon.
Trust me.
It's going to be harsh on the men as well.
But let us look at one reason why husbands don't spend time with their wives.
Proverbs 21, verse 9.
It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
Right?
Proverbs 21, verse 9.
Let's just read it again in case you missed it.
It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
And the Bible's indicating a guy would be happier instead of having a 20-bedroom mansion,
a small house hanging out with the spiders and the E-piece in the corner, than spending
time with his wife in a big house with nice meals.
You say, why?
Because of the brawling.
Because she's obnoxious.
Because she's rude.
Because she's complaining.
Brother Stuckey, how dare you say that?
That's what Proverbs 21, verse 9 says.
What's your interpretation?
That's one reason why the Bible's saying that men would not want to spend time with their
wives because their wives are brawling and complaining.
And you know what?
The Bible says the godly woman has a meek and quiet spirit.
That's what the Bible says.
Look, one reason why husbands don't want to spend time with their wives is because they
just don't enjoy spending time.
They don't make time for it because they just don't enjoy it because their wives are always
complaining and angry and mad.
This is what the Bible teaches.
Now look, I am not saying that's the reason why your husband is not making more time for
you.
It might be.
I'd look in the mirror and ask yourself that question.
It might be, it might not be.
Now if he's spending all his time playing video games, he's a lazy derelict that needs
to start working hard.
He might be just wasting his time on Facebook and social media.
He might be wasting his time with online preaching and it's like, hey, you know, when you're
married and have a family, God's called you to some different things than just your own
free time.
That could be the reason.
But you know, one reason could be because the woman is just brawling.
That's what the Bible says.
Another reason might be because he's working.
Because he's working and working and working and you know what, yeah, he's tired.
And you say, well, Brother Stuckey, he needs to make lots of time for me.
I agree.
Husbands should spend time with their wives.
Here's the thing, though.
In the Bible, they work six days, 12-hour days, and guess what, 72 hours of work does
not mean that you have six free hours every day to spend with your wife.
Let's be realistic.
Now, look, I don't think your husband should waste time on video games.
I haven't played them since like 20 years ago.
Right?
I mean, I think it's a waste of time, but here's what I'm saying.
You know what?
You might want to get better instead of getting bitter.
What am I saying?
I'm saying regardless of the reason he doesn't want to spend time, make yourself the best
possible wife so he wants to spend time with you.
Instead of complaining and being mad at him, make it where he comes home and he wants to
spend time with you.
Getting bitter will never fix the problem.
Look, even if he doesn't have a valid reason, if you get bitter, it's going to be him just
making sure he doesn't spend time with you.
Make yourself better, and he might make time to spend time with you.
Go to Genesis 30.
Genesis chapter 30.
I mean, the bottom line is we make time for things in life that we enjoy.
What you spend your time on is what you enjoy.
Guys that spend all their time playing video games, they love video games.
And look, I think that's terrible if a guy is wasting his time doing that.
I'm not advocating that.
I'm not defending that.
I mean, he's lazy, and he spends time with his family instead of being on video games.
When I became a man, I put away childish things.
Yeah, I played PlayStation like 20 years ago whenever PlayStation 1 was popular.
I don't even know how many PlayStations there have been since then.
It's like, good night.
I never got it with video games because when I was a kid, video games had a couple buttons
and it was easy and you didn't have to think about it.
It's like I'm trying to escape calculus in my math career, so why am I trying to get
it?
There's like 55 buttons.
It's like, what in the world?
I don't know how that would be fun, but people love it, right?
Genesis 30.
So Leah's bitter because my husband doesn't spend enough time, but you know what?
She figures it out.
She learns to praise the Lord, though even though he's not being a very good husband.
But then Rachel also has a complaint.
She's bitter because she does not have children, and this is something that makes a lot of
wives bitter because they do not have children.
We see this in the Bible.
Genesis 30 verse 1, and when Rachel saw that she bared Jacob no children, Rachel envied
her sister and said unto Jacob, give me children or else I die.
Now I don't know if she's threatening suicide in this statement or if she's just saying,
you know what?
I'm not really sure, but it's like, give me children or else I die.
This is the moment where you realize I should have just stuck to one wife.
It's like, yes, I found Rachel more attractive, but I should have just stuck to Leah, right?
Give me children or else I die.
Yeah, that's going to make him want to spend time with you, right?
And it's just like, she's bitter because she does not have children.
Now is that Jacob's fault that they don't have children?
Now notice what it says in verse 2, and Jacob's anger was kindled against Rachel when he said,
am I in God's stead who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb?
Now here's the thing, Jacob is 100% correct in what he says in verse 2.
It's also a very dumb thing to say, right?
I mean, if your wife is bitter and upset, just being angry back at her, that's not going
to fix it.
Jacob is correct, but she's speaking out of emotion, right?
And Jacob's response is a very dumb response, but he is right because of the fact the Bible
says God opens a womb.
And look, you know, when I got married, it's like, I was so excited.
I got married, figured I'm going to have kids immediately.
And you know what?
It took us a few years to have kids.
And you know, it kind of frustrated me because I'll be honest, you know, the thought went
even into my head, just like there's a bunch of whores and whoremongers that are getting
pregnant out of wedlock.
And it's like, I'm serving God.
It's like, man, why hasn't God blessed us with children?
But at the end of the day, God is the one who opens the womb.
That's what the Bible says.
And you know, Abraham was a godly person, but you know what?
He didn't have children with Sarah immediately.
You don't necessarily know the reason.
And look, some wives can get bitter because they have not been blessed with children.
I mean, Hannah was the same way in the Bible, but getting bitter doesn't fix the situation.
If you choose to get the root of bitterness inside of you, it will destroy your life.
It doesn't help you.
Now, here's the thing.
The bitter approach is the easy approach.
It's very easy to get bitter.
It's very easy to complain.
And look, you're going to have your friends that are going to support you and say, hey,
you have a right to be mad.
You have a right to complain.
It doesn't fix your situation.
It makes it worse.
Instead of getting bitter, get better.
That's what the Bible teaches.
Now go to Genesis 31, Genesis 31, Genesis 31.
And they end up having a child sort of through Bilhah, where Rachel just says, well, I can't
have children, so I'll just give you to my handmaid.
And then all of a sudden, he takes him to wife.
They have a child.
And then she's like, well, God's looked on my affliction or whatever, and he's blessed
me.
Look, just because you get what you want does not mean God's blessing you.
I mean, if you go to a casino and get rich tonight, that doesn't mean God's blessing
you.
It could be that money's a curse, just like when Abraham got rich in Egypt and it destroyed
his life.
It's the reason why a lot had to go into Sodom because of the fact they had too much supplies.
So look, just because you get what you want doesn't mean God's blessing you.
I mean, you gave your husband to another woman to have a child, and that's still not yours.
I don't really understand why she's excited about that.
The one thing wives can get bitter about is their husband doesn't spend enough time
with them.
Look, instead of getting bitter, just make yourself a wife that he's going to want to
spend time with.
Or they might get bitter about not having any children.
Do you see how there's going to be something you could get bitter about?
Both Rachel and Lee are both bitter.
And then we can see that Rachel's not really content because in Genesis 31, there's something
I want to attach to finances.
Genesis 31 verse 19.
And Laban went to share his sheep, and Rachel had stolen the images that were her father's.
Now the images, when you cross reference in verse 30, it says stolen my gods.
These are like idols, okay?
Stolen my images, stolen my gods is referring to idolatry.
Now if you remember, in the book of Acts with Great is Diana of the Ephesians, there are
people that made their living off making idols.
Now in an idolatrous country like the Philippines, there are people that make a living off of
making idols.
In India, there are people that make a living off of making idols.
I mean you can walk by places and they've got all these idols that they're making that
are really expensive and everything.
And so the way I look at this, because I believe Rachel was a believer, but she also stole
idols, okay?
And maybe she just found them beautiful to look on, but I feel like she stole them because
they had a financial benefit, like she had something of value, something where it's like
worth a lot of money, even though it's an idol, even though it's a false god.
And whether that's your interpretation or not, one major thing women get bitter about
with their husbands is he doesn't make enough money.
He doesn't buy me a Louis Vuitton purse.
He doesn't buy me a, what is it, Gucci, Gucci purse or clothes or whatever they are, right?
He doesn't buy me the fancy, expensive stuff, right?
I mean, man, my dress is only like 1,000 pesos.
I want one that's like 5,000 pesos.
And just complaining that your husband doesn't make enough money.
But here's what's funny.
The same woman that says my husband doesn't make enough money is the same woman that'll
say you don't spend any time with me.
Let me explain something to you.
In order to make money, you got to work.
It doesn't just come out of nowhere.
And you can't have both those things.
You want your husband to make a lot of money, but then when he's making a lot of money,
he never spends time with me.
It's like, good night.
Look, I'm not advocating guys not spending time with their wives.
I'm just saying, you know what?
How can you fix that problem?
Quit wasting money, right?
Make yourself better.
You want more money, then don't waste it on stupid stuff.
That's the secret.
You can get bitter about the situation or you can get better.
Look, we're going to look at the guys in a second.
I mean, I know a lot of ladies are already mad at me.
That's fine.
This is Verity Baptist Church.
That's just the way it is, right, with this kind of preaching.
But this is reality.
This is something women often complain about and complain about.
My husband doesn't make enough money.
He can't take me on this fancy vacation.
He can't buy me this.
He can't buy me that.
You know, I thought Paul the Apostle said I've learned to be content in whatsoever state
I am, right?
I've learned there to be content.
Whether he has abundance or whether he lacks, okay?
And so he's saying whether I have money or not, I've learned to be content.
But you know, in our modern day, everybody has everything at their fingertips and they're
not content unless they have everything they want.
But you know, biblically speaking, you know what, husbands work 72 hours just to barely
provide the needs.
And you know what, I think people that live there are probably by and large happier on
average than people today.
But today we have everything we want.
We're always complaining.
He doesn't spend enough time with me.
He's never buying me anything fancy, you know.
And it's like you always could have something to get bitter about, but does that fix your
situation?
Go to Ruth 1.
Ruth chapter 1.
Now I'll be honest with you because we will look at the men here in a little bit, but
most of this sermon, or at least on point 1, is geared toward the women.
And you say why?
Because women are more likely to become bitter about something when it comes to the family
setting like that.
I mean, these are things I'm giving you scripture.
I'm not just giving you my opinion.
I'm giving you scripture of actual examples of women getting bitter at their husbands.
And look, it doesn't mean the husband was perfect, but it just means this particular
sin of getting bitter and allowing that to come because of a complaint against your husband,
you know, it's more likely to happen with the women.
And if you get mad at me, then I would just encourage you to look this up in the Bible
and just kind of compare, and you can see that this is more directed toward men.
Women's sins are more directed toward men.
Certain are more directed towards women.
Men struggle with lusting.
I think everybody would agree with that.
But this is something that women struggle with.
And we saw two, we saw Rachel, we saw Leah, both getting bitter at Jacob.
Now here's the thing.
Once again, Ruth is the virtuous woman we can look at.
Because here's the thing, when it comes to a financial sense, she literally left everything
she knew to basically become a full-time worker to try to provide for two people as a woman.
Basically, she decided to serve God and have very little finances, right?
Ruth 1, verse 16,
And Ruth said, And treat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee.
For whither thou goest I will go, and where thou lodgest I will lodge.
Thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God.
Where thou diest will I die, and there will I be buried.
The Lord do so to me, and more also of ought but death part thee and me.
Anyway, what Ruth says is, you know what?
I'm willing to leave my country and forsake everything I know,
forsake my family's house, just to serve God.
But by doing that, she's gonna have to become the provider.
Now, I do think we can make an application that, of course,
I do believe the best situation is for people to live inside their parents' houses
until they get married, but I do think there's exceptions to that.
Because our number one thing is serving God, and you're not gonna serve God in Moab.
If your family's forcing you to go to a Hindu temple every week,
well, I mean, that's not good for you, right?
And so in this situation, Ruth leaves in order to serve God, okay?
And she leaves, but you know what she's doing is basically saying,
I'm willing to be poor and willing to never get married because I'm able to serve God.
And you know what?
This is not a perfect church.
I'm not a perfect person or a perfect preacher, but
this is a church that's preaching the word of God.
And this is a church you can serve God.
And you know what?
If you've got a husband that is working hard, trying to provide for your family,
and he wants you at this church and he's bringing you to this church,
you should praise the Lord for that.
Because there's not a lot of guys out there that would like this type of church.
You should be happy that you're married to someone who is spiritually
leading your family in the right direction.
That's the reality.
And here's the truth.
In general, women are more spiritual than men.
If you really stop to think about that, I don't really think it's much of a debate.
I mean, on Mother's Day, we always have a huge attendance.
On Father's Day, you know, we'll have a lower attendance.
I mean, I looked at the pictures from the soul winning marathon yesterday.
I was like, man, there's a whole lot of women that went soul winning all day yesterday.
Where are all the men, right?
Now, praise the Lord for the guys.
I'm just saying, I mean, praise the Lord that we've got women in our church that love soul
winning and love serving God.
And you know what?
The reality is that there are not a lot of men that want to serve God in today's world.
And there's not a lot of men that would take their family to this type of church.
Because I don't care who you are, this preaching hurts from time to time.
It doesn't matter who you are.
Look, when I write sermons, I'm stepping on my own toes while I'm writing the sermon.
I'm like, man, this is going to hurt me, right?
That's reality, okay?
Now, turn to 1 Timothy 2, 1 Timothy chapter 2, 1 Timothy 2.
One thing wives can be bitter about is their husband does not spend enough time,
or their husband doesn't make enough money, or in a specific example, you know,
he hasn't given me children or whatever, or you know, you have a child and she could say,
wow, you know, I don't have a daughter though.
I just have a son, right?
You can always find something to be bitter about.
But you know, another thing that women, and this is very specific to this type of church,
a church that's like-minded, that believes in proper roles of men and women,
one thing that women can become bitter about is the role that God has given them to be a help meet.
This is a major, major thing I've noticed that women can get bitter about,
where it's like, they go to this type of church, or they go to a like-minded church,
and they're like, okay, you know, we'll follow, you know, my husband,
he's provided for the family, okay, I'll be a stay-at-home mom,
but I'm going to be angry and bitter about it until the day I die.
This is reality.
And it's like, man, I'd be so much happier working.
And it's just like, why aren't you just happy about what God has given you in life?
And why are you, because here's the thing, if you're bitter, you're bitter against God,
because God's the one who made you a man or a woman.
Now the world might not understand that, but you should understand that, right?
And you know what, why would you be bitter against God for creating you as a woman,
or why would you be bitter about God creating you as a man?
However God created you is however God created you.
And you should be thankful and happy about that.
What does it say in 1 Timothy 2, verse 9?
In like manner also that women adorn themselves in modest apparel,
with shamefacedness and sobriety, not with broided hair or gold or pearls or costly array,
verse 10, but which becometh women professing godliness with good works.
Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
Boy, that's a verse they don't like reading in a lot of Baptist churches, right?
Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
Now one of the major applications, and it's very clear in the book of Corinthians,
is in a church setting.
Now look, when it says let the women learn in silence, we're not saying they can't sing.
I know we have men's choir next week, but we had women's choir during Mother's Day, okay?
It's not saying they can't say hello to people,
but it's talking in reference to the preaching and teaching of God's Word.
Look, it's wrong for a woman to be a pastor, and it's not a complicated topic in the Bible,
and it's also not an insult to women.
It just means you're different.
Men and women are different.
Look, it's weird for a woman to be up here screaming.
You'd be like, what in the world?
But it's normal for a guy to do that, right?
I mean, this is what the Bible teaches.
Another application is anything related to the teaching and preaching that goes on in a church.
This is why what we teach and preach is that men are to say amen when they agree with the preaching,
and that's not something for women to do,
because you're basically saying, I agree with the preaching,
and you're putting your stamp of approval on it, okay?
But the other thing is this, when we have activities and ladies' activities,
if we have somebody preach a sermon, it's going to be a guy.
It's not going to be my wife.
And this is what we did at Verity.
They'd have a lot of ladies' activities,
and they'd have a guy preach the sermon and just leave,
and then the ladies do the activity.
We're never going to have my wife get up and preach a sermon.
That's never going to happen.
And look, this is very common at Baptist churches,
where you got the pastor to the men, and you got the pastor to the women.
That's never happening at our church.
It's like, that's not what the Bible teaches,
because the Bible says when it comes to the teaching and preaching of God's Word,
and it says with the wives to ask your husbands and learn at home.
And look, you can be offended at me all you want,
but that is what the Bible says.
It's not a complicated topic.
And so not only are we against women pastors,
we're also against women that are sort of acting like pastors in a way, okay?
Because the Bible says this,
For Adam was first formed, then Eve.
And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
Notwithstanding, she shall be saved in childbearing,
if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Now when it says they're going to be saved in childbearing,
it does not mean that they're going to be saved from having a problem,
because problems happen with godly people and ungodly, that can happen, right?
What it's saying, being saved in childbearing,
it's not referring to spiritually going to heaven.
But if you look at the book of Timothy,
it saves women from destroying their lives by having too much free time,
because they can become busybodies.
And here's the thing, when you have kids, you're going to be busy.
They take up time.
They're not easy.
It's stressful.
It's a lot of work, okay?
And the Bible says women are saved in childbearing,
they have kids, and then it's going to help them serve God better than having too much free time.
Look, it's bad for a guy to have too much free time.
It's bad for a woman to have too much free time.
Those are the people that get into trouble according to the Bible, okay?
Now, turn in your Bible to Proverbs 7, Proverbs 7, Proverbs 7, Proverbs chapter 7.
And look, this is something that's pretty sensitive to people.
People get pretty mad at it, but this is clear with the Bible teachers.
We have Brother Suhail visiting, and his pastor preached a pretty controversial sermon recently,
and let me just say, I don't care how many dislikes it gets, I agree with that sermon.
I mean, it came straight from the Bible.
And here's what you need to understand, because sometimes people don't get this.
My wife doesn't have a special position at this church, like a pastor's wife position.
What my wife is is the wife of the evangelist.
She's my wife.
It's no different than any other position a woman would have.
Now, if I choose to have my wife in charge of an activity like the ladies tea party,
well, she's in charge because I put her in charge.
But she's not above other ladies at the church.
And look, by all means, if you have a question, you can ask my wife.
You know, there's nothing wrong with that.
But what I'm saying is, she's the wife of me, okay?
She's not the evangelist's wife position.
That position doesn't exist in the Bible.
What she is is the wife of the evangelist, which means the number one role she has
is taking care of Zeph, taking care of Christabel, taking care of the home.
You say, why?
Because she's my wife, and that is the role of a wife and a mom, according to the Bible.
And look, it's not really complicated, but Baptist churches,
they have a real problem with stuff like this.
Now, not only just being a wife, another thing that can make women bitter
is being a mom, right?
And look, when I said being single, I applied it to men and women.
We're going to get to husbands and fathers in a second.
But being a mom is something that women can often be bitter about.
Go to Proverbs 7, verse 10.
Proverbs 7, verse 10.
Instead of getting bitter as a wife, just get better.
Try to become the best wife you possibly can.
And look, it's common sense, but sometimes we just need these examples.
If you become a better wife, then your husband's
going to want to spend time with you and become a better husband for you.
If you become a better husband, your wife's going to become a better wife.
I mean, if you show love for your wife, your wife's going to show love for you.
Isn't that just common sense?
Well, you know, I'm not going to show him any more love.
Like, I'm showing him this much love, and he's here.
Until he reaches my level, I'm not going to show him any more love.
Well, you could either do this, or you could just do this, right?
What you could do is instead of trying to compare a competition
who's showing more love, just be the best wife you can,
be the best husband you can, and you're both
going to show more love to each other.
I mean, it's not complicated.
It's common sense.
Proverbs 7, verse 10.
And behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot
and subtle of heart.
So in verse 10, it talks about a woman that's dressed like a whore.
The attire is the clothing.
That's exactly what the Bible's saying.
She's dressed like a whore.
The indication is there's a certain way that whores dress.
Quite honestly, in today's world, it's probably tough to distinguish.
Because a lot of people are just in their normal dress,
but in the Bible times, they'd probably be
dressed like the attire of an harlot.
But it also says this.
She is loud and stubborn.
There's your Hillary Clinton.
There's your women that want to take the office of being
a president in whatever country.
Loud and stubborn.
Her feet abide not in her house.
The indication of this woman is she always
has to be gone from the house.
She cannot be happy guiding the house, as the Bible says.
She cannot be happy being a keeper of home,
but her feet abide not in the house.
Now look, we're not saying, well, the women
can't leave to do anything.
We're not saying, well, she can't go to get groceries
or to get food or even take the kids out and have fun
or something like that.
But being the sort of woman where basically every second,
you've got to be gone.
You cannot stand to be home.
You cannot stand to take care of the kids.
You cannot stand to take care of the family.
You never want to cook any food or do anything.
It's like that is the same woman that's dressed
like a whore, the Bible says.
It's not a godly attribute.
A godly attribute of a woman is to be a keeper at home.
And there's a lot of women that get bitter
against the role that God has given them,
but I didn't write the Bible.
The godly woman is a keeper at home.
The godly woman guides the house.
The whorish woman, her feet abide not in her house.
What does that mean?
Her feet abide not in her house.
It means she never is willing to be home.
She's always got to be gone.
Kind of like in the book of Genesis,
I just thought of this, right?
The difference between Lot's wife and Abraham's wife.
It's like Abraham, I mean, people come unexpected
and then she cooks the food.
And then all of a sudden they come to visit Lot.
Where is his wife?
This is an honest question.
Where's his wife?
I've never figured it out.
It's like, where are you?
She's gone because she's always gone
because Lot's the one who's used to cooking the food.
It's like, where is your wife?
Lot, she's just always gone.
Her feet abide not in her house, right?
This is consistent throughout the entire Bible.
And look, if you apply it to the present day,
you as a wife, if you are married and you have a family,
you have a husband, you should be happy
with the role God gave you of taking care of the home.
Instead of being bitter about cleaning the house,
you should say, I'm gonna try to be the best
at this as possible.
I'm gonna try to make it look great.
Instead of being bitter about raising the kids,
you should basically embrace it.
Try to become the best mom you can.
Instead of being like, well, I'll be a stay-at-home mom,
but I'll be bitter until the day I die sort of attitude.
Have fun with that.
Turn in your Bible to Genesis 3.
Genesis 3, Genesis chapter 3.
Look, the bottom line is you can always find something
to be bitter about.
And here's the thing.
It's very easy to get bitter and say,
well, I don't like my role of being a wife
or being a mom or whatever,
but you seem to be having the attitude
that the role of being a husband and father is really easy.
Because, correct me if I'm wrong,
but when the curse happened in Genesis 3,
it was a curse both on men and women.
And that's what we're gonna see here in Genesis 3.
Genesis 3, verse 17.
And unto Adam he said,
because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife,
and hast eaten of the tree of which I commanded thee,
saying, Thou shalt not eat of it,
cursed is the ground for thy sake,
and sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life.
Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee,
and thou shalt eat the herb of the field.
Notice verse 19.
In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread
till thou return unto the ground,
for out of it wast thou taken, for dost thou art,
and on dost shalt thou return.
He said, Brother Stuckey, when do I get to retire?
When you end up in the ground.
Now, I'm not preaching against retirement.
I'm just saying the biblical principle is,
man, my life's so hard.
It's gonna be hard until the day you die.
But look, it's not just hard for men,
it's not just hard for women, it's hard for men too.
It's hard for both.
And the responsibility on the husband
is to provide for that family.
You say, well, I was happier when I was working
and life was easier, but you're providing for yourself.
You're not providing for a family.
It's not as stressful providing for yourself.
It doesn't cost as much money.
Let me tell you something.
There is nothing in this world that stresses out
a guy more that is married than providing for his family.
Is that not true?
I mean, there's nothing.
I mean, you look, you're like, man,
it's like you're trying to save up money
and then you're like, oh man,
we already ran out of money this week
and an unexpected expense comes up.
There's nothing that stresses a guy out more
than providing for his family.
But you know what?
That is what God said, that it's the husband's job,
according to Genesis chapter three.
And look, I get it.
It's hard to be a mom.
It's hard to be a wife.
It's also hard to be a husband.
It's also hard to be a father.
And I have never experienced being a mom.
And no lady has ever experienced being a husband
and the provider for that family.
That is different than working a job when you're single
and not having to worry about the future.
But you start having kids, you start thinking of the future
like, man, I need to provide for them financially,
prepare a future for them.
And you know what?
That is stressful.
And it's gonna be stressful until the day you die,
according to the Bible.
So look, before you get mad and bitter about,
oh, I have to be a wife,
it's not easy being a husband either.
And you haven't experienced that
by working a job providing for yourself.
That's not the same thing.
Turn your Bible to Joshua 24, Joshua 24.
We're skipping a lot of scripture
because it'd be very long without it.
Very long sermon.
So look, husbands could be bitter about that also.
It's like, wow, man, why do I,
it's so hard to provide for my family
and I've got all this stress and I'm tired.
Yeah, life's stressful.
When have I ever preached to you that life is easy?
I'm pretty sure I preach the opposite every sermon.
Life is gonna be stressful and tired until the day you die.
And look, every time you think the stresses are gone,
a new stress comes up.
I mean, I'm telling you, it was like six months ago or so,
like I was so stressed out, maybe less than that.
You know, we had my own personal taxes for the US.
They were all muggle low because of various things.
I was like, man, once I get this figured out,
no more stresses.
And then we have the SEC here in the Philippines.
It's like, good night.
How many restrictions do they put on churches?
It's so complicated.
You can't use Microsoft Excel in 2021.
You gotta do everything by hand.
That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard, right?
And it takes up so much time and so much.
You make one mistake per page,
you gotta start the page over.
Like, what century are we in?
And then that's stressful
and takes all this work and everything.
And it's just like, okay, once this is done,
we can be not stressed.
Okay, get through that.
And it's like, well, my family moves to Pampanga.
Well, moving's stressful, right?
You get everything organized and everything.
It's like, okay, we're fine.
We can settle down.
It's like, oh, what?
But then we moved church buildings.
So we had to do the construction and get that ready,
stressed out that month.
Then all of a sudden that's done.
It's like, all right, finally I can rest and relax.
And then several things popped up.
And I'm just like, all right,
I'm gonna be stressed out until the day I die.
But that's reality.
And look, you can try to avoid it,
but you're not gonna be able to avoid it.
Life is hard and difficult.
And you know what, that's actually the way God intended it.
He intended it to be hard.
Now, I'm not saying you should intentionally
make your life hard,
but I'm saying you should not try to make it easy.
If you take the easy way out in life,
you will destroy your life.
And getting bitter is the easy way out.
And yet it's gonna trap you permanently
and destroy your life.
You are better off getting better
instead of getting bitter.
Now, as a husband, your job is to financially provide
for your family and lead your family spiritually.
And if you're gonna lead your family spiritually,
that means you don't get to come home
and just do all your hobbies that you love to do
when you're single.
Now you gotta spend time with the family
and lead that family spiritually.
Joshua 24, verse 15.
And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord,
choose you this day whom you will serve,
whether the gods which your father served
that were on the other side of the flood,
or the gods of the Amorites in whose land he dwelled.
But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
It is the husband's job to lead his family spiritually.
And you know what?
That's also a big stress.
It means that if my son is growing up
and he doesn't wanna go soul winning,
then that's my fault.
It means if my son doesn't wanna go to church,
it's my fault.
It means if my family's not spiritual,
it's my fault.
Did you know it's pretty stressful
making sure your family's spiritual?
Right?
Look, it's hard to be a wife.
It's also hard to be a husband.
And us as guys, you know what you need to do?
You need to come home from work
and spend time with your family,
get off social media,
get off your hobbies unless you have enough free time
to do them, and spend time with your family,
read the Bible with your family,
spend time with your kids.
You're required as a husband and a father to do that.
And you know what?
That can be very stressful,
and it could make men bitter,
saying, well, I don't wanna be the one to run my house.
Okay, well then get married to Hillary Clinton.
I'm sure she'd be happy to run your house.
I'm sure some loud and stubborn
and obnoxious bossy woman would love to boss you around
and put you in a dress, right?
Now turn your Bible to Ephesians 6.
Ephesians 6.
I mean, this is not even a complicated sermon,
but it seems like, oh, this is so extreme.
No, actually our world's just crazy.
All this is is there's a difference between men and women.
There's a difference between husbands and wives.
Look, I will never give birth to a child.
Now spiritually, I've given birth to lots of children,
but I'm never gonna actually give birth to a child.
You say, why?
Because it's scientifically impossible,
and I'm not some weird reprobate
trying to do something like that.
Men and women are created differently.
And instead of getting bitter at the role God has given you,
get better at your job.
Say, man, as a husband,
I've gotta be the provider for your family.
Quit being lazy and work hard.
You could get bitter about it,
or you could work harder to provide for your family.
That's the solution.
Getting bitter doesn't fix it.
And look, I get it, this is tough preaching,
but you know what, I'm helping you out.
If you just decide to take the easy way out
and be bitter in situations in life,
it will destroy your life.
Or you could get better.
It says in Ephesians 6 four,
any fathers provoke not your children to wrath,
but bring them up in the nurture
and admonition of the Lord.
And the Bible says we are to bring up our kids
in the nurture and admonition.
Now admonition's speaking towards discipline,
and the nurture's speaking towards caring for your child.
Both of those things require you
to actually be there with your kids, right?
It takes work.
It takes time.
As fathers, we need to spend time with our kids.
And here's the reality.
Every child wants to spend time with their parents.
Isn't that true?
Every child wants to spend time with their parents.
And I'll tell you what,
if you choose not to make time to spend time with your kids,
those kids are gonna grow up
and they're gonna become bitter toward you.
And they're not just gonna become bitter toward you,
they're gonna become bitter toward God,
whether they're saved or not,
because they're like,
well, he had time for soul winning.
He had time for church.
It's like, why doesn't he have time for me?
That is reality.
So look, as husbands, as fathers, it's not easy either.
It's like, you gotta be the provider for your family.
You gotta lead your family spiritually,
which means your kids need to see you going soul winning
and reading the Bible and obeying the commandments
and not being worldly
and not looking at stupid stuff on the computer.
And you gotta spend time with your kids
and invest in the things they care about.
You know what, that's actually pretty busy.
That's actually pretty tiring.
So look, either men or women
could get bitter about their role,
but that doesn't fix the problem.
I mean, you can sit around and complain,
oh, I've gotta be the provider,
or you could just be at work working
rather than complaining.
Go to John chapter three, John three, John three.
And here's the thing.
If you find yourself just going on these times
where you just get really complaining
out of nowhere and everything,
it might be the root of bitterness
that's springing up in you
when certain situations are coming up.
And that's something you need to get rid of
because it's not gonna help you.
Getting bitter never is gonna fix the problem.
Now look, if you got bitter towards somebody,
let's say I got bitter with Brother Marlon.
If I get bitter with Brother Marlon,
if I get bitter at Brother Marlon
and start hating him in my heart,
does that harm him?
It doesn't affect him at all, right?
It only affects me.
Look, getting bitter is only gonna destroy yourself.
It's not gonna harm the person that you're bitter at.
Another setting, not just in a family setting,
we'll be quick on the last couple points,
is in a church setting.
People can get bitter in a church setting.
And one aspect of that is with pastors or church leaders
can oftentimes get bitter, okay?
Notice what it says in John 3.
I'll give you an example.
John 3, verse 25.
Then there arose a question between some of John's disciples
and the Jews about purifying.
And they came unto John and said unto him,
Rabbi, he that was with thee beyond Jordan
to whom thou barest witness, behold, the same baptizeth,
and all men come to him.
And so basically they come up to John and say,
hey, Jesus is better than you.
Well, duh.
I mean, it is the son of God, right?
But they basically say, you know what?
Jesus is better than you.
He's more successful than you.
It would be like in your modern day
if somebody came up to you and said,
hey, Pastor So-and-So's more successful than you.
It's like, thanks, I appreciate that, right?
I appreciate the compliment.
It's like, so-and-so's sermons
are better than your sermons.
Well, thank you for making me feel better.
I appreciate that, right?
That's basically what they're doing to John the Baptist.
And look, I have seen this play out in real life.
I've literally heard people say
in front of a godly pastor,
and they're members of the church,
my favorite pastor is so-and-so.
I'm just like, what in the world is wrong with you?
Like, how rude, right?
It's like, well, I'm here, right?
Right?
I'm like, what in the world?
What in the world is wrong with you?
Like, why in the world would you say something like that?
I mean, even if you think that, why would you say that?
It's like, that's so bestow's to say that, right?
Verse 27.
I just learned that phrase a couple days ago, so you know.
I wanted to have a chance to use it, right?
Verse 27.
John answered and said,
A man can receive nothing except to be given him from heaven.
Ye yourselves bear many witness that I said,
I am not the Christ, but that I am sent before him.
He that hath the bride is a bridegroom,
but the friend of the bridegroom,
which standeth and heareth him,
rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom's voice.
This my joy, therefore, is fulfilled.
And what John the Baptist says is, you know what?
I'm just the friend of the bridegroom.
I'm just here to help out the Lord Jesus Christ.
I'm here to help out God.
I'm not trying to build some big empire
where I'm rich and I'm famous.
And this is the attitude that any pastor
or church leader should have.
You're not preaching to become famous.
Look, of course, I would love it if we reach more people
and we have more YouTube subscribers,
but is that the reason why I'm preaching sermons,
to just get YouTube subscribers?
Because I can tell you what the secret to that is.
Preach bizarre, stupid sermons about conspiracies
and we will trip on attendance, in YouTube attendance,
pretty quickly.
But what's the purpose of that?
I mean, and it won't offend anyone.
This sermon's gonna offend a lot of people, right?
But this is actually a sermon that you can actually use
in your life and make changes.
And yes, some sermons are the cool, fun, exciting,
like take back the rainbow sort of sermon, right?
Some sermons, you're just trying to help people
build better character.
And my job is not to become famous.
And look, if God gives us an influence as a church
or me as a speaker to have a big audience,
then praise the Lord for that.
If not, I'm just helping the bridegroom.
And look, I've seen this in the last couple years.
And look, I don't preach on it so much,
but if you pay attention to like-minded churches,
you see pastors that become very bitter
because other pastors are more successful than them.
And they're not gonna audibly say that,
but that's obviously the case.
And it's just like, why do you care?
They live in another state.
They live a long distance from you.
So what are you competing for?
Look, if we're competing with any churches,
we're competing for the people that live near here
to bring them to our church.
Are we competing with Bible Baptist churches nearby?
Yes.
Are we competing with pastors in other countries?
No.
What competition, right?
There's nobody nearby that's gonna go to their church
and there's no one nearby them
that's gonna come to our church.
We care about reaching people here.
Look, the online ministry is just something you do
on the side to try to reach more people,
but you care about reaching the people
that live near you, or you should.
That should be your goal if you're a church leader,
and yet you see many pastors that become bitter
because they don't have as big of an influence.
Now I'm not gonna turn there for sake of time,
but another example you could look at is David and Eliab.
I mean, in 1 Samuel 16, all of the sons go there
because they wanna become the king, and who gets chosen?
David, the one who doesn't go.
And then it's like, no, I didn't choose them.
You know, man looketh on the outward appearance,
the Lord looketh on the heart.
And his older brother becomes envious
and bitter towards him and mad about it.
And it's like, look, you can still serve God.
It's okay not to be the king.
And look, in our modern day, there's people,
they've gotta be a pastor or they cannot be happy.
It's like, what's wrong with you?
I mean, I was happy when I was serving God,
not running a church.
And let me help explain something to you.
Running a church is pretty stressful.
Running two churches is really stressful.
And it's just like, you know, why are you so obsessed?
I gotta run a church.
Do you realize the stress?
I mean, there's enough stress in my normal life.
Now I enjoy preaching sermons and I have the desire
to be a bishop as the Bible says,
but let me tell you something.
If you wanna become a pastor to have an easy life,
look, you're gonna hate your life.
I mean, it's not like that's an easy thing.
And yet, his older brother's not happy just serving God.
It's okay if you're not the king.
Why can't you just be helping God?
You don't have to be the king or the leader of the country.
Okay?
Now, go to Psalm 75.
We'll close up here for sake of time.
Now, what's an example in a church setting
I mean by your role?
Well, I'm saying having this attitude.
Oh, I'm not gonna be happy unless I get to be
front and center at the church.
I'm not happy unless I'm the song leader at church.
That's a dumb attitude.
Right?
I mean, what makes you any better if you're one member
of the body versus another member of the body?
And look, I get it.
Some positions are visible and you're seen
and people know that.
That doesn't mean that you're a better person
than other people.
We all have various talents.
We all have various gifts and they're not the same
and you should have the attitude.
I just wanna help out the church in whatever way
is gonna be best.
Instead of feeling like I've gotta have
this special position.
Look, if that's the sort of attitude you have,
you will not last at our church
because you're gonna get bitter.
You're gonna get mad at the preaching
and you're gonna be gone from here one day.
And look, when I, and you say, well, Brother Stuckey,
that's easy for you to say because you're the one
running this church.
It's not like I started running churches
when I first got saved.
When I first got saved and started going to church,
you know what?
I started volunteering at the church
because I wanted to help and you know what I did?
I handed out bulletins at the front door
at my church in West Virginia, the first church I went to.
And I showed up an hour and a half early for the service
because they met inside a movie theater.
Don't hold that against me.
And they had to set up for church, like the speakers.
Look, it wasn't an old-fashioned Baptist church.
It was like a modern sort of Baptist church.
But I just showed up early to help set up speakers
and just do what, I was like, what can I do to help?
Because I wanted to get involved in church,
but here's the thing, if you're new,
are you gonna be trusted when they don't know you?
You get trusted when you prove yourself over time.
And then as time went by, you know what?
I got more involved in various churches and everything.
I ended up working for Verity Baptist Church,
which I still do in Sacramento.
Now I do it remotely though.
And it's like I was working for the church and everything,
but you're still underneath the pastor.
And then Pastor Jimenez trusted me
to ordain me as an evangelist,
but I'm still underneath Pastor Jimenez,
which means sometimes things come up
and I email Pastor Jimenez and I say,
hey, I just wanna make sure you're aware of this
and how would you like me to run this?
Or if I'm preaching something,
I wanna make sure it's acceptable to him
because you're underneath the pastor.
And I've seen a lot of evangelists through the years
that end up trying to take over the church.
And it's like, you're not the one running that church.
You're underneath the pastor.
And why can't you be happy?
Look, I'm perfectly,
because here's the thing, when I'm not the pastor,
it's very easy for me to say,
well, I ran it by Pastor Jimenez.
That's his final decision.
When I get ordained as a pastor, I can't do that.
It's like, I don't even know
if I wanna become the pastor, right?
And it's just like, why can't you be happy?
I mean, what differences make what your role is?
You should be happy with that.
I mean, but this is what you see oftentimes.
I mean, look, you're not gonna become a great leader
unless you become a great follower first.
Whether it's at your job, whether it's in anything in life,
unless you learn to be a follower first,
you're never gonna be a great leader.
Another aspect,
another aspect where people might get bitter
toward other people is we have a rotating schedule
of preachers on Wednesday, right?
Now, the only real rules are you have to be a guy.
You gotta be saved.
And of course, I give my final approval on people, right?
But we have a various schedule.
I mean, and we have like a rotating schedule.
But what if you preach a sermon and it gets three comments,
but somebody else got five comments on YouTube?
And look, this sounds very foolish,
but literally this happens at preaching nights
in churches in the US.
I mean, I've been at preaching nights enough
where I can listen to someone and say,
yeah, he's preaching toward the internet.
He obviously just wants to get a lot of views on YouTube
because they preach a ridiculous, stupid sermon
or something like that.
I mean, like an example,
I heard somebody preach a sermon,
like why Facebook is a sin.
And of course, he didn't have a Bible verse that says,
thus saith the Lord, this is a sin,
because you're not gonna find a verse that says that.
Now, if you wanted to say Facebook is unwise,
well, sure, I mean, if you spend too much time,
it's unwise, it could be dangerous,
but it's like, you're just clearly trying
to preach to the internet, right?
And so look, if you volunteer on the song leading
and you don't get as many compliments as someone else,
instead of getting bitter, you know what you do?
You go home and you practice leading the music.
You get better.
Look, when I started leading,
I'm not naturally talented at leading music.
I lead a lot of music in Pampanga now,
but my voice just isn't that great.
I'm okay.
I can do the timing.
And you know what you do to fix that?
You just practice and get better.
Getting bitter about it's not gonna change anything.
Or let's say, for example,
you're newer at preaching and somebody's doing a better job,
you could have the attitude of getting better
and destroy your life.
Or you could just say, hey, I'm not competing against them.
I'm not comparing against somebody.
I'm just gonna try to get better at it.
And look, I think all the guys
are doing a great job on Wednesdays.
I like the sermons.
Everyone listening to the sermons
and everyone's doing a great job,
you're not in a competition versus the other guys
that are guest preaching.
It's not a competition.
Lastly, another thing people can become bitter at
is at work where somebody else gets the promotion
and they don't.
Notice what it says in Psalm 75, verse five.
Lift up not your horn on high.
Speak not with a stiff neck,
for promotion cometh neither from the east
nor from the west nor from the south.
But God is the judge.
He putteth down one and setteth up another.
And the Bible says ultimately at the end of the day,
God is the judge.
And so your job is to work,
your responsibility is to work hard at your job
and trust in God to promote you if he sees fit.
This is a tough truth,
but most likely why you didn't get the promotion
and somebody else did
is because they're a better worker than you.
Doesn't that make common sense?
If the boss promotes somebody else,
it means he probably thinks he's better than you
to do the job.
I mean, that's a tough truth.
You know, we like to just have truth,
but this is reality.
There's a reason why some,
it's not like, you know, you've got,
do I have a coin?
I do have a coin.
It's not like your boss is in the office saying like,
it's, you know, it's Marlin or Brother June.
Who am I gonna pick?
And, all right, June got the promotion.
That's not the way they do it.
They do it based on who's better, right?
That's reality.
And so you could become bitter about it,
or you could just get better at your job.
And you will get those promotions.
And God will bless you.
And at the end of the day, God's the one blessing you.
So what's the point of the sermon?
Because, look, this could be a sermon series
in and of itself.
In life, there are a million situations
you can get frustrated and bitter and complain.
Getting bitter is never gonna fix it.
Instead of getting bitter, you can get better.
And here's the reality.
Most problems we have in our life
is not because of other people.
It's because of ourselves.
If you've got a lot of problems in your life,
most likely it's your own fault.
That might be a tough truth, but that's reality.
And you need to just face yourself in the mirror
and just admit it.
And instead of getting bitter and making excuses,
just fix the problems and get better.
Let's close in a word of prayer.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for allowing us
to be here today and getting to see your word on this topic
and help us to all apply this, including myself.
There's many things in our lives
that we can become bitter at,
that will destroy our lives, God,
but help us just become better in all areas of our life,
not just to be zealous at soul winning
and coming to church and reading the Bible,
but in all facets to build our character,
our grace, and in all areas.
We pray this in Jesus' name, amen.