Dinah, the daughter of Leah, which she barren to Jacob, went out to see the daughters of the land.
Now, when it says she went out to see the daughters of the land, these are not Bible-believing Christians.
This is just your generic, unsaved person.
And look, there's a reason why this verse is in the Bible.
It's telling you what this downward spiral is of what happens to Dinah.
And it starts with her just kind of hanging out with unsaved people.
Go to Genesis, chapter 6 in your Bible.
Genesis, chapter 6.
Genesis 6.
This is an expression used throughout the Bible when it says daughters of men or daughters of the land, just to represent generic people.
And it says here in Genesis 6, verse 1, famous passage.
And it came to pass when men began to multiply on the face of the earth and daughters were born onto them,
that the sons of God saw the daughters of men, that they were fair, and they took them wives of all which they chose.
And this has very similar wording here, daughters of men, daughters of the land.
It's just referring to just generic people, right, generic women, daughters of the land.
And the idea is in verse 2 of Genesis 6, the sons of God saw the daughters of men, that they were fair,
and they took them wives of all which they chose.
What's taking place is you've got saved people, sons of God, marrying just the daughters of men, just your generic, ordinary person that's not saved.
It's like a Baptist marrying a Catholic.
But doesn't that happen in 2022?
Baptist marrying Catholics or people of different faiths, getting married.
You know, I knew someone in college, Baptist married a Muslim.
It's just like, you know, what do you have in common when you're marrying someone of another faith?
But that's what you see here in verse 2.
And the reason why is because they were fair.
They were attractive.
Basically, okay, an attractive girl likes me, I'm going to get married to her, right?
I mean, that was more important to these people in Genesis 6 than the fact that they actually love God.
Go to 2 Corinthians 6.
2 Corinthians 6.
Look, obviously, we are around unsafe people every single day, right?
Unless you don't leave your house during a day, you're going to be around unsafe people.
You go to a grocery store, you go to the restaurant, you go out for a walk or whatever,
you're going to come in contact with unsafe people.
If you work at an office, there are unsafe people that work at that office.
You're going to be around unsafe people.
And in some situations, you can't fully avoid it, right?
I'm not saying just live at home and never go out because you can't fully avoid this.
However, the closest people in your life should not be unsafe people.
For Dinah, she shouldn't be going to hang out with the daughters of the land.
I mean, she should be hanging out with other soul-winning ladies, not the daughters of the land.
Now, you say, well, Brother Stuckey, is this Dinah's fault?
Well, it's really Jacob's fault.
Really the fault of mom and dad because they're letting her hang out with an unsafe person.
And obviously, you know, this started at a younger age.
They just are giving her way too much freedom, right?
Notice what it says in 2 Corinthians 6, verse 14.
Be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers.
For what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?
And what communion hath light with darkness?
And what concord hath Christ with Belial?
Or what heart hath he that believeth with an infidel?
And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols?
For here the temple of the living God, as God hath said,
I will dwell in them and walk in them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
Wherefore, come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord,
and touch not the unclean thing, and I will receive you.
And will be a father unto you, and ye should be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
The Bible says in verse 14, be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers.
Now, of course, the primary application would be in marriage.
That's obviously a great application.
That's not the only application of this, though.
It's not just in marriage.
I mean, if you're around unsafe people all the time,
you're yoking up with them, you're fellowshipping with them.
The Bible says have no fellowship with these people.
They should not be your closest friends in the world.
I mean, if you were to tell me that your closest friends are a bunch of unsafe people,
there's something wrong with you.
As a safe person, your closest friends in this world should be other safe people.
Go to Numbers chapter 30.
Numbers 30.
Numbers chapter 30.
In our world today,
people are being taught that when you raise kids, don't be too strict with them.
Give them freedom to make their own choices.
And they'll say that at a young age, you can't just, you know, tell them,
and you force things upon them.
You ought to give them more freedom.
And of course, there are times when you can give your kids more or less freedom,
but let me say this, that I don't agree with that philosophy at all.
I believe in strict parenting.
My kids, I don't want them hanging out with a bunch of unsafe people as they get older.
I want them to be around other safe people.
Now, of course, at a church, they get to be around other safe people.
But you see, what Zeph needs in his life, what Christabel needs in her life,
what Ezra needs in his life is the Myra, Dane, AJ.
That's what my kids need.
They need to be around other safe people whose parents are trying to raise them
in the same way I'm trying to raise my kids.
Now, are we perfect parents?
None of us are.
Are our kids perfect?
No, but you know what?
There's a big difference between kids hanging out with other safe kids,
kids of safe parents that are going the same direction, same preaching,
same belief system, same core beliefs.
That is a big difference than your friends hanging out with a bunch of unsafe people
or a bunch of worldly people.
Different influences are going to come in.
I mean, if they hang out with the unsafe, they are going to just teach them all of these things
that I don't want my kids to be aware of.
All of a sudden, your kids are going to start cursing and you're like,
where did that come from?
Where did you learn that word?
Well, they learned that from the unsaved.
They learned that from kids who heard that from their parents,
which is why you know what?
You need your kids hanging out with other safe kids,
not just hanging out with the daughters or the sons of the land,
but actually other safe people and being part of a church
where they have good friends that they're growing up with.
The Bible says in Numbers 30 verse 3,
If a woman also vow a vow unto the Lord, and bind herself by a bond,
being in her father's house and her youth,
and her father hear her vow, and her bond wherewith she hath bound her soul,
and her father shall hold his peace at her,
then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she hath bound her soul shall stand.
But if her father disallow her in the day that he heareth,
not any of her vows, or of her bonds whereith she hath bound her soul shall stand,
and the Lord shall forgive her because her father disallowed her.
You know what the Bible says here in Numbers 30 verses 3 through 5?
That if the daughter inside of a household makes a vow,
and the father says, I don't agree with it,
he can overrule what his daughter said.
What that means is the father has the authority over the daughter.
The parents have the authority over their kids.
And the reality is that the kids growing up,
they just don't understand things perfectly.
I mean, there's a lot of things and a lot of lessons you learn as you get older
that you just don't understand at a young age.
I mean, kids at a young age, they don't understand the dangers
of just basic things that we teach them.
If kids just did what they wanted to do, they would screw up their lives.
They need mom. They need dad.
And you can't just let them just do whatever they want
and then just grow up and hang out with whomever they want.
They're going to get the wrong influences in their lives.
Go in your Bible to Genesis 34.
Genesis 34.
And I can say I had strict parents growing up.
I had the strictest parents probably in the city that I was in.
Very strict parents.
And you know what happens when you have strict parents?
It keeps you from making mistakes that you're too foolish to understand
when you're 10 years old and 12 years old and 15 years old.
Right? I remember my parents were the one sets of parents
that did not let me watch a PG-13 movie when I was in grade school
because all the kids are under the age of 13,
so you have to have your parents sign off to allow it.
And my parents said, no.
You're not old enough.
Now, I didn't care about the movie.
What I cared about was, mom, dad,
the other kids are going to make fun of me.
Right? I'm going to be the only one.
It's like, well, why didn't we get to watch this movie?
Well, you know, Brother Matthew's parents,
right, never let them watch those movies.
And I remember being a bit frustrated growing up when,
you know, my parents did let me hang out with other kids,
but then they would make me call when I arrive
and then just every couple hours check in on me.
I felt a bit embarrassed because I didn't have as much freedom
as some of those other kids.
But yet, I can look at a lot of those kids
that I was friends with when I was 8 years old
and 10 years old and 12 years old,
and I think to myself, honestly, you know,
thank God that I had parents that were strict,
that actually cared about me.
They were doing it because they cared about me.
They were doing it because they understood
the dangers that were out there,
something I didn't understand as an 8-year-old
and you don't understand as a 10-year-old or a 12-year-old.
I did not understand those things.
Look, kids that are in this room,
you should feel blessed for your parents.
The parents in this room are doing their best to raise you
and they love you and they love God.
You should feel very thankful for the mom and dad
that you have been blessed with in your life.
Not everybody has that.
Growing up, there's a lot of parents,
they never spend time with their kids.
They let their kids do whatever.
And then you look at those kids now that are adults
and it's like you can see the side effects of that, right?
We see that in Genesis 34,
where Dinah just hangs out with the daughters of the land,
just going out, hanging out with unsaved people,
doing whatever she wants,
and just no strict parenting from Jacob.
So, point number one, we see worldliness in verse one.
Point two, we see sin.
And when Shechem the son of Hamar the Hivite,
prince of the country, saw her,
he took her and lay with her and defiled her.
Now, I do want to say this as a side point
that, and I encourage everybody to do this with everything I preach,
that, you know, read Genesis 34
and just pay attention with an open mind.
What you're going to find is that Dinah was not forced by Shechem.
What you're going to find is this is a consensual relationship.
It's not that he found her and against her will he forced her.
This is an expression used throughout the Bible
when you take her and lay with her,
he's not forcing her because right after this
he wants to marry her and then she's living with him later on in this chapter.
He's not forcing her.
This is a consensual relationship.
The brothers are very angry, but it's not a forced relationship.
And I encourage you,
because I don't want to take away from the whole context
of the sermon I'm preaching, read Genesis 34 with an open mind.
It's actually very obvious.
Now, I know that's not usually how it's preached.
It's actually very obvious that Dinah is actually complicit in this relationship.
Dinah is not being forced against her will.
She is choosing to commit fornication with Shechem.
And he sees her and he takes her and he lays with her.
Why does it say he defiled her?
Well, that's the expression used when you have sexual sin.
You're basically defiling yourself.
It doesn't mean she's being forced though.
And of course in your free time read that for yourself
and I encourage you to do that.
But go to Ephesians 5.
Ephesians 5.
Ephesians chapter 5.
Now, here's the thing.
You say, Brother Stuckey, when it comes to major sins,
you know, I'm not going to commit these sins.
My kids are not going to grow up and commit these sins.
But it starts with something small.
It starts with worldliness as we saw in verse 1.
It doesn't start with a major sin being committed.
It starts with something that you say,
well, this isn't the end of the world.
But that leads to big things.
Everything has a start.
It starts with worldliness.
It becomes sin.
Now notice what it says in Ephesians 5 verse 3.
But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness,
let it not be once named among you as become of saints.
Neither filthiness nor foolish talking or jesting,
which are not convenient,
but rather giving of things.
For this ye know that no whoremonger nor unclean person
nor covetous man who is an idolater
hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
Now, this is an interesting set of verses
because if you compare verse 3 with verse 5,
it's basically identical.
Notice how it says fornication in verse 3.
It says whoremonger in verse 5.
Those are both sexual sin.
It says uncleanness in verse 3.
It says unclean person in verse 5.
Identical, right?
Uncleanness, unclean person.
It says covetousness in verse 3.
It says nor covetous man in verse 5.
And so what you're seeing is verses 3 and 5
are basically parallel.
Now what's interesting is they're not back to back
because that's usually what you would see in the Bible.
It's like if it's restating the same thing,
why is it the verses are not back to back?
And verse 4 is actually trying to teach you something.
In verse 4, the Bible says,
neither filthiness nor foolish talking nor jesting,
which are not convenient, but rather giving of thanks.
Well, notice the things that are being mentioned.
Foolish talking, sin of the tongue, jesting.
What is jesting?
It's basically inappropriate joking or mocking,
like the court jester, right?
It's a sin of the tongue, but rather giving of thanks.
I mean, giving of thanks with your mouth
is what the Bible is saying.
So verse 4 is in the context of basically the tongue.
And so what the context is in these verses,
and you're going to find this in the whole chapter actually,
is that basically there should be no talking
that relates to fornication or sexual sin,
uncleanness nor covetousness.
Those things are inappropriate,
which is why the Bible says don't be a partaker with them.
So here's the thing.
If you're around people that are making comments
about sexual sin and fornication and these things,
here's the problem with that.
If it starts with a little bit of warliness,
it can actually lead to you committing the action.
The Bible says stop it with just the communication.
You say, give me an example of this.
Well, you know what?
I used to watch the show Friends a long time ago
before I was saved.
And who's seen that show Friends before?
The show Friends,
one of the big things on the show
is just they kind of make a joke about
just the one character just sleeping with everybody.
Now here's the thing.
We know sexual sin is wrong.
I've always known it's wrong.
But see, in a show they make it into a big joke,
and then all of a sudden you get desensitized
to the nature of how big of a sin that is.
I mean, they're literally sleeping with
a different person every episode.
It's like if you do that in real life,
you're going to get a bunch of STDs.
You're going to destroy your life.
I mean, where are all the kids
that are being fathered out of wedlock?
Because if you're sleeping around like that,
that's what takes place.
It's giving you an incomplete idea
on the nature of that.
And see, here's the thing, though.
It's just a funny TV show.
It's not like I'm actually doing it.
I'm just listening to it.
But see, here's the thing.
Isn't this exactly what the Bible's saying?
Because when you're listening to fornication,
when you're listening to be in a whoremonger,
and it's a joke in the show,
all of a sudden it doesn't seem that serious to you.
Even though you know it's still wrong,
you don't think it's serious anymore.
And see, if you allow it to enter into your mind
via what you see or what you hear,
all of a sudden you become desensitized to it.
See, there's a reason why I preach against the music
and the movies and the things that you watch
because those small things,
I don't want those things to enter into the hearts of my kids.
And they end up committing these sins
because it entered into them via that.
I mean, we preach one thing in the pulpit,
but if we allow them to just watch fornication
like it's no big deal.
Well, it's just a movie.
They didn't actually say anything.
Well, the movie's rated PG-13.
I mean, it's not that big of a deal or whatever.
But once you make light of sin,
all of a sudden these things could actually take place.
And here's the thing.
If your kids are hanging out with unsafe kids,
they're going to be hearing dirty jokes.
They're going to be hearing these things.
And it's not going to seem like a big deal to them.
Now, America in most ways, not always,
but in most ways is probably more advanced
with allowing sin and worldliness at a young age.
I'll give you an example.
When I was a kid,
I can remember on multiple occasions
at two different friends' houses,
less than the age of 10 is when I first saw pornography
because the kids that I was friends with showed it to me.
Now, to me it's just like, you know,
because I was only like eight years old.
But it's like literally at the age of eight years old,
I'm hanging out at my friend's house
and then all of a sudden they're showing me this magazine
that their father had that was hidden in their father's house.
He's like, hey, check this out.
It's like, is that what you want your kids to be seeing
at the age of seven years old and eight years old
and nine years old?
You can imagine me, my son's almost five.
Do I want him seeing that in a couple of years
like I did?
You've got to be kidding me.
But see, and here's the thing.
Of course you don't think this is taking place
if your kids are hanging out with somebody else,
but your kids aren't going to come home
and tell you what they saw.
They're going to be embarrassed about it.
I knew it was wrong,
but I didn't want my friends to get in trouble.
I didn't want to make them look bad,
so I didn't tell my parents.
But yet, at multiple kids' houses that I was friends with,
they showed me those things before the age of 10 years old.
And see, here's the thing.
If your kids are hanging out with the daughters of the land
or the sons of the land,
these are the things they're going to be introduced to
at a young age, right?
Now, first off, I don't believe that you should just give your kids,
like, drop off your kids at somebody's house
and just trust them just because they're church members.
As parents, you ought to be there as well.
So that sort of situation wouldn't even come up,
but I'm just trying to give you this idea.
You know what?
You've got to be very careful with the things
that enter into your kids' minds.
Don't just trust everything's going to work out.
These are the sorts of things that they're going to see
and hear at a young age.
I remember I was a kid,
and I remember I said a curse word one time
when I was a kid.
And my parents,
I've never heard my mom or dad cuss
in their lives.
I have never heard them say any of the traditional American cuss words.
They never said them,
which is why I'm very against cussing.
It's something I don't do because I was not raised that way.
But I remember I came home from school,
and I said this word.
I didn't even know what it meant.
It's just I heard all the kids saying it.
And then all of a sudden, my kid,
I remember I was in the car with my mom and my sister,
and then my mom's like,
And I was thinking, what did I do?
I didn't even know,
because I didn't know that the word was a bad word.
I didn't even know what it meant.
But I just heard other kids saying it.
Now, I'm not saying that could never happen at church
because obviously people have free will.
You never know.
But I'm just saying,
it's like if your kids are hanging out with unsafe kids,
they're going to be learning these things at a young age.
And then all of a sudden, it's going to come up one time.
Where did this come from?
It's like, well, you let them know
Where did this come from?
It's like, well, you let them hang out with the daughters of the land,
and you didn't pay attention to what they were doing.
Don't ever feel ashamed with being a strict parent.
I will be a strict parent with my kids.
You say why?
Because I love my kids.
Because I know of the dangers that are out there.
Because I know I was introduced to things at a young age
that I do not want my kids to be introduced to.
And you know what fixes that?
Strict parenting.
Not being too trusting and just say,
well, everything's going to work out.
You know, it's like, no, you need to actually make sure
your kids are not around these things.
Verse six.
Let no man deceive you with vain words.
You notice how the context is the words, right?
Sins of the tongue.
With vain words.
For because of these things cometh the wrath of God
upon the children of disobedience.
Be not ye therefore partakers with them.
And I think a lot of times,
verse seven is a very common verse that's quoted.
I think people kind of just assume
when it's saying partaker, it's talking about like,
you know, drinking alcohol and things like that.
You can make those applications.
It's actually at a much lower level of sin, though.
It's talking about even the words.
Let them not deceive you with vain words.
Right?
And God's wrath comes upon the children of disobedience
because of just the words.
That's how serious it is.
Verse eight.
For ye are sometimes darkness,
but now are ye light in the Lord.
Walkest children of light.
For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness
and righteousness and truth,
proving what is acceptable in the Lord,
and have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness,
but rather approve them.
Notice verse 12.
For it is a shame even to speak of those things
which are done of them in secret.
Do you see how the context of this chapter
is actually in what's being spoken?
It's actually in the words.
Because once again, verse 11 is a verse that's quoted,
but the actual context of this chapter,
going all the way back to the end of chapter four,
is actually sins of the tongue.
Much less actually doing the acts.
Because here's what the Bible's saying.
Don't even joke about getting drunk.
Much less getting drunk.
Right?
The Bible's saying,
hey, it's at a much lower level
is what I'm talking about.
Don't even joke about these things.
Don't even talk about these things.
It's a shame to speak about these things.
And you know what?
It's a shame to sit there and listen to these things
and watch these things.
You shouldn't be around these things.
You shouldn't be speaking about these things.
And if you allow these things to enter into your mind,
it's gonna enter into your heart,
and it's gonna enter into the hearts of your children
as well if they see these things.
But all things that are approved
are made manifest by the light,
for whatsoever doth make manifest is light.
Wherefore he saith,
Awake thou the sleepest,
and arise from the dead,
and Christ shall give thee light.
See then that ye walk circumspectly,
not as fools, but as wise.
And this is referencing being very careful
with the things that you're seeing,
and the things that you're hearing.
Now go in your Bible to Genesis 34.
Genesis 34.
See, it starts with worldliness.
And what takes place after worldliness?
Sin.
Sin is a result of worldliness.
And of course,
if you're watching these TV shows like Friends,
you're not actually planning to do those things.
You're not planning to get drunk
like they do on the shows and just...
But it's like,
well, if you allow it to enter into your mind,
then it can actually enter into your heart.
It's gonna kind of desensitize you
to the nature of the sin.
You might actually do it,
even though you weren't planning.
So it's just a TV show that was funny.
And look, I get it.
When I was younger,
I thought the show Friends was funny.
I thought the show Seinfeld was funny.
I thought the show Family Guy was funny.
But it's actually desensitizing you
to the nature of sin.
And there are actually shows
that are just basically making a mock of God.
Right?
And I'm sure that the shows
that are popular today, same way.
I'm sure the Filipino soap operas, same thing.
It's making a mock of sin,
and they make it like it's no big deal in those shows.
I mean, those shows,
those characters are going
and sleeping around with 50 people.
Then they get married.
Are you gonna have a good marriage
if you go and sleep with 50 different people before that?
You're gonna have a disaster in your life.
You're not gonna have a good happy ending
like they do in the TV shows.
But number one, we see worldliness.
Point two, we see sin.
Point three, we see blaming others.
Blaming others.
Notice what it says in verse three.
And his soul clave on the dine
of the daughter of Jacob,
and he loved the damsel
and spake kindly onto the damsel.
Now this is more proof,
and it's throughout this chapter,
but that he did not force her
because if he had forced her,
he wouldn't love the damsel and want to marry her.
Think of Amnon, who forced his sister-in-law,
or his half-sister,
and then he hates her, right?
If he had forced her, he wouldn't want to marry her,
but he's actually in a relationship with this person.
And he meets her
because she's hanging out with the daughters of the land,
and he loves her, and he wants to marry her, right?
Verse four.
And Shesham spake unto his father Hamar, saying,
Get me this damsel to wipe.
And Jacob heard that he had defiled Dinah's daughter.
Now his sons were with his cattle in the field,
and Jacob held his peace until they were come.
Now when saying he defiled Dinah's daughter,
what it's saying is that she lost her virginity to Shesham.
That's what the Bible's saying here.
Now, here's the thing.
Jacob hears what took place.
He hears that his daughter is in a relationship,
and she's actually living with this guy later on in the chapter,
and he hears about this.
And Hamar the father of Shesham went out onto Jacob to commune with him.
And the sons of Jacob came out of the field when they heard it,
and the men were grieved, and they were very wroth
because he had wrought folly in Israel in line with Jacob's daughter,
which the thing ought not to be done.
Now it says that they were wroth because he had wrought folly.
But what you do not see in Genesis 34
is them being angry with themselves.
You know who Jacob should be upset with?
Himself.
He should have said, you know what?
If there's one person to blame, it's me.
I obviously did not do my job in raising my daughter properly.
I obviously messed up by letting her hang out with the daughters of the land.
I obviously went wrong as a father.
You know, this is not how most parents react
if their kids go down the wrong road.
What will parents say?
Well, my son or my daughter just hung out with the wrong crowd.
Well, who let them hang out with the wrong crowd?
Right?
But this is very natural.
In all areas, people do not like to take blame when things go wrong.
But you've got to be willing to look in the mirror and ask yourself,
what did I do wrong?
Now, is Jacob the only one to blame?
No, obviously Leah's to blame.
Obviously Dinah's to blame.
Obviously Shechem's to blame.
I'm not saying Shechem is completely innocent,
but here's the thing.
It's like instead of looking at him and being mad at him,
well, wait a minute.
What about me as a dad?
Or these brothers that get so angry
that we're going to see next week they murder these people.
Why not looking at yourself and saying,
hey dad, I don't think you should let them hang out with that crowd.
Right?
I mean, they're going to get bad influences.
Why not that?
But they don't do that.
They just blame this other person rather than looking in the mirror at themselves
for what they did wrong.
Go to Judges 15.
Judges 15.
I mean, when something goes wrong,
you can always blame somebody else to some level of degree.
And this is something I've learned as a parent.
It's very natural for kids to blame somebody else when something goes wrong.
When they mess up and then they'll blame their brother or sister
and it's just like, why are you blaming them?
It's like you're like 90% responsible and then you're just like,
well, you know, my sister shouldn't have been standing there.
It's like my brother shouldn't have been standing there.
Right?
You can tell with kids it's very natural to pass the blame on to other people.
Nobody wants to accept responsibility.
I mean, there are certain things you notice with kids that come very naturally.
Lying to get out of trouble comes naturally.
Blaming others when things go wrong, it comes very naturally.
Right?
That's what you see.
It's something that I've noticed with my son that we got to teach him like,
hey, don't blame Chris DeBau.
It's like you're the one who spilled, you know, the food.
Right?
But it's natural that people like to pass the blame.
For all of us, it's natural we want to pass the blame on to other people
rather than just blaming ourselves.
Judges 15, verse 1.
But it came to pass within a while after in the time of wheat harvest
that Samson visited his wife with a kid and he said,
I will go into my wife into the chamber,
but her father would not suffer him to go in.
And her father said, I verily thought that thou hadst utterly hated her.
Therefore, I gave her to thy companion.
Is not her younger sister fairer than she?
Take her, I pray thee, instead of her.
And this is basically Samson gets in a fight with his wife
and he basically just leaves her, doesn't communicate.
And when the father is saying that I thought you hated her,
what he's basically saying is, I thought you had divorced her.
I thought you were done with her.
I didn't think that we'd ever see you again.
Right?
So she's been given to another guy.
Now, obviously, that's the wrong thing to do,
but I'm just saying this is what takes place.
Now, in this situation, Samson should be mad at himself.
It's like, yeah, you know, I should not have left my marriage
for three months and not had any communication.
Right?
Because to get into a fight, he goes home to mom and dad.
Right?
The strongest man throughout the entire Bible
gets into a fight with his wife and he goes home
and complains to his mom and his dad.
Right?
That's what you see in this story.
Verse three.
And Samson said concerning them,
now shall I be more blameless than the Philistines,
though I do them a displeasure.
And Samson says, you know what, I'm going to do wrong
to the Philistines, but they deserve it
because of what they've done to me.
Samson, look in the mirror.
You left your wife.
You just abandoned her.
And the father, what he's basically saying is,
I thought you had gotten rid of her,
but he's also saying this.
Hey, this is a culture where the husband
is the sole provider for the family.
And he's saying, you just abandoned my daughter.
It's like, I didn't know who's going to provide.
Is she going to live with me now
and I'm going to provide for her again?
I mean, I thought that when she said I do,
that you are the provider
who are going to take care of my daughter.
And you left her.
Now, of course, the father does the wrong thing
in this story, but so does Samson.
Samson could look at the father and blame him.
He could blame the Philistines.
But why not blame him yourself?
Look at what you did wrong.
You see, you can always blame other people
when things go wrong.
But it doesn't matter if other people
are 95% wrong.
Are you 5% wrong?
Are you partially to blame?
And there's no doubt that in the story of Dinah,
Jacob is partially to blame.
The brothers are partially to blame.
Right?
Dinah, you get so mad at Sessom,
well, she had free will to do this also.
It's like, why not getting mad at her?
Why not getting mad at yourself
because you didn't do a good job?
Instead of just blaming them, right?
Turn your Bible to Genesis 34.
Genesis 34.
Genesis chapter 34.
Point number one, we see worldliness.
What's a mistake in raising a daughter?
Allowing this worldly culture to enter into your kids.
Allowing them to hang out with unsafe people.
Right?
You know, our kids growing up,
they need the local church.
They need to be around other safe kids.
They need to be around other safe families.
Now us as adults, we need this too.
But I would say even more so with these kids
because at a very young age,
they're very impressionable.
They need other safe people.
Point number one, we see worldliness.
What do we see later on?
We see sin.
Look, when kids are at a young age,
five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten years old,
they're not going to commit any major sins
at that age probably.
But the worldliness can enter in at that age.
And then when they're 14,
and then when they're 15,
and then when they're 16,
that's when the major sins can start coming.
As a result of the sin that comes,
what do we see?
Well, we see blaming other people.
But then point number four,
we see consequences for the sins that took place.
And let me just say this on a side point.
As parents, including myself and my wife,
we need to be very, very careful
that when we see problems with our children,
we don't make excuses or blame other people for it.
If there's a problem,
we ought to look in the mirror and say,
is there something I should be doing differently?
Is there some way I can correct this?
Rather than making excuses,
because if you start making excuses at a young age,
it's never going to fix the problem.
Instead just say, what could I do better?
And look, all of us can be doing a better job raising our kids.
All of us can do, I mean,
all of us can look at our kids
and notice small little things and say,
hey, we got to correct that.
All of us.
I know I'm not doing a perfect job as a dad,
but you know, I'm trying
and I think all of us in this room are trying.
We can't make excuses though,
because then that won't fix the problems.
Verse 8, we see the consequences.
And Hamar communed with them, saying,
The soul of my son, Shesham, longeth for your daughter,
I pray you, give her him to wife.
What is Jacob hearing?
Jacob's hearing that presumably an unsaved man
with presumably an unsaved son
that his daughter is in love with
wants to marry his daughter.
He's hearing that his daughter
is going to marry an unsaved man.
That's what he's hearing, right?
I mean, that's a big consequence
because at this point, it's kind of too late, right?
I mean, if Christabelle came to me one day
when she's 19, 20, 21 years old
and it's like, dad, I got something to tell you.
It's like, you know, and here's the thing,
you know what?
This is a hypothetical thing because, you know,
I don't believe in kids, you know,
leaving their home before they're married
at the age of 17, 18, 19, 20, 21 years old.
The Bible says even for sons
that they should leave father and mother
and cleave onto their wife, right?
Now, can there be exceptions?
Yes, there can because John the Baptist
is living on his own.
There can be exceptions.
But honestly, one of the differences
in raising sons and daughters is
I believe you ought to be a little bit more strict
with the daughters than the sons,
but strict with both of them
because eventually the son is gonna basically
be working a full-time job in raising a family.
So if my son's 18, 19, 20 years old,
he might have to start working a full-time job
because, you know, he's got to prepare
to be a husband and leave the home.
But with a daughter, it's a little bit different.
I'm not saying that your kids can't work,
but I will say this, that in today's world
with modern technology and many jobs online,
there can be an alternative
where they're not leaving your home
and they're still underneath your authority.
And obviously, you know what,
there's different situations.
I'm just kind of giving you a general idea,
but you see the consequences here
starting in verse number eight,
and I would just say this,
but the hypothetical I was giving was
let's say I allowed my daughter
to leave our home at the age of 18
and just live with some other girl,
just one of her friends,
just one of her unsaved friends
that I've allowed in her life.
And this is not something I am planning to do, right?
But let's say then a year later she comes to me,
she's like, dad, I got something to tell you.
It's like, okay, Christabel.
You know, she comes home for Christmas
and she's like, well, I'm living with a guy now
and we're planning to get married.
Do you realize how painful that would be
to find out that my daughter
was living with some other guy,
that my daughter was not pure
until she was married?
I mean, as a parent in this room,
we all have young kids.
How much would that devastate you
if your son or your daughter came to you
and they're gonna be marrying an unsaved person?
I mean, I believe I would cry.
I would be in pain.
I mean, honestly, it's just a painful thought
even to think about.
It's just like, man, it's devastating
where it's like, I failed.
These last 20 years raising my son,
these last 20 years raising my daughter,
I completely screwed up.
It's like, what have I done?
It's like, why didn't I put more love
and time and effort into raising my kids?
It's gotta be painful for Jacob to find this out
where he completely screwed up
and his daughter is not pure
and she wants to marry an unsaved person, presumably.
His daughter obviously has no interest in spiritual things,
doesn't care about spiritual things.
And was Jacob a perfect person?
Obviously not, but this is a man who loved God
and obviously he messed up.
And he's got this unsaved man saying,
hey, you know what?
My son, Shesham, longeth for your daughter.
I pray you or I ask you, can you give her him to what?
Because basically trying to get the father's approval
of them being married and making marriages with us
and give your daughters onto us
and take our daughters onto you.
Yeah, Genesis chapter six all over.
Just saved people marrying unsaved people, right?
And look, obviously Jacob knows Genesis chapter six.
Obviously Jacob knew the sons of God
were not fallen angels.
He knows what that story's about.
I mean, he knew these scriptures.
He was taught these scriptures.
And then all of a sudden he's hearing this.
And he shall dwell with us
and the land shall be before you.
Dwell and trade you therein
and get you possessions therein.
And Shesham said unto her father
and unto her brethren,
let me find grace in your eyes
and what you shall say unto me I will give.
Ask me never so much salary and gift.
Now give according as you shall say unto me,
but give me the damns of the wife.
Now go to Galatians chapter six.
Galatians six.
We'll finish the rest of Genesis 34 next week.
This chapter is a very interesting chapter.
It deserves multiple sermons.
I mean, these first 12 verses,
it's packed with great information,
lessons that we can learn.
We'll see the end result of this whole situation
that takes place.
But I'm gonna end with some famous verses here,
the consequences.
And notice what it says in verse seven.
Galatians six, verse seven,
be not deceived, God is not mocked
for whatsoever man soweth,
that shall he also reap.
And see, you can't play around
with sin in your life
because you will reap what you've sown.
And of course,
we usually apply this to ourselves individually,
but this applies to other areas as well.
If you don't put in effort
as a father or as a mother,
you're gonna reap something as a consequence.
Right, I mean, does that make sense
what I'm saying?
I mean, if you don't put in any energy
as a mom or dad and just say,
I'll just trust things you're gonna work out,
let them hang out with unsafe people,
I'll just buy them their own iPhone
when they're 10 years old
and just let them watch whatever.
I'll just put a TV in their room
and not pay attention to what they're watching
just let them watch whatever on their computers
and just trust it's all gonna work out okay.
You're gonna reap a consequence
and you're gonna have this great pain
that comes over you as a father or as a mother
when you see all the problems
that have entered into your kids
because you messed up as a dad or as a mom
because you let them just do whatever they wanted.
But the contrary is true as well.
If you sow efforts
and love and energy and care
and time into your kids
and you try your best to raise them
and you pray to God
every single night and say,
God, please help me raise these kids.
Please help my wife raise these kids.
Show us where we're messing up
and then you see small mistakes
maybe with your kids
and you say, you know what,
God, please help me correct this
and you show your kids you love them
and you bring them to a good church
where they're around other kids
whose parents are trying to raise them
for the glory of God
and they get to hear good preaching
and you put time and energy and effort
and you don't just let them do whatever
but you actually put in time as a parent
to say, you know what,
I'm gonna make sure these kids turn out right.
If that's what you sow,
then in 10 years
we're gonna see the results.
We are gonna reap the good
as a result of sowing so much energy
and time into our kids.
And look,
the kids at our church are pretty young
for the most part.
This is something we have to take by faith.
Right, there's a reason why Genesis 34
is in the Bible
and one reason is these first verses
are teaching us
that if we let our kids
just hang out with unsaved people,
you say, brother Sucky,
why is it that you're against
kids just being in the public school system
because I don't want them hanging out
with the daughters and sons of the land.
Brother Sucky, I mean,
aren't you being too strict?
You're gonna homeschool your kids?
I don't want my kids hanging out
with the sons and daughters of the land.
I know that even though my parents were very,
and I started being homeschooled in middle school
but even before that
it's like I was introduced to things
that no kid should be introduced to
at the age of seven and eight
nobody should be introduced to ever,
much less a seven year old,
much less an eight year old
and I saw those things
at a very young age.
I heard things that my friends said
at a very young age
that you know what,
are not appropriate at any age,
much less the young kids
but the reality is
if we let our kids
just hang out with whomever
and be around unsaved people,
those are going to be the influences
that they get.
But you know what,
if you raise your kids
in a godly church
around other saved people
that are trying to raise their kids
and putting in time and energy and effort,
what's gonna take place is
other parents and other kids
are gonna reinforce the things you're doing.
See, if you don't have a good church
and you have these standards
and you try to raise your kids
and homeschool them and do these things,
all the criticism from other people
are gonna enter into you
and you're gonna probably
kind of give in a little bit
because you're gonna feel like
you're too strict
because that's what everybody's telling you.
But here's the thing,
I mean, I don't think people
at our church
think that I'm being too strict
with my kids
because you're doing the same
with your kids.
We're reinforcing the things
that we believe and teach.
So there's two things
that need to take place.
Number one,
don't let them be around
the worldly influences
and unsaved people
but make sure they are around
other godly kids
and godly families
that are trying to serve God.
We try to put a lot of emphasis
into our kids.
We have the Children's Day
every year now
but we allow these kids
to play and have fun.
We go to parks for our soul winning
and things like that
and it's like we want these kids
to have fun and fellowship
with other saved people.
But we need to make sure
we don't let them
just hang out with unsaved people,
let them watch whatever
and listen to whatever.
We can't let those things
enter into them
because even though
you don't think
it's going to take place
it could one day result
in major sins
when they're even teenagers.
Let's close in word of prayer.
Heavenly Father,
thank you for allowing us
to be here today
and just getting to see
this wonderful chapter
in the Bible
and help us as fathers
and mothers in this room,
help us to put in
time and energy
and energy in our lives.
Thank you.