All right, so we're in Genesis 24, and the name of the sermon is Four Lessons on Marriage.
Four Lessons on Marriage.
Now, I know I'm going through the Song of Solomon.
We're talking about marriage quite a bit, but we're just going verse by verse, and that
is the context here at the end of Genesis 24, the lessons that we can learn.
And we learned four lessons on marriage at the end of Genesis 24.
Starting at verse number 57, it said, and they said, we will call the damsel and inquire
at her mouth.
So, if you remember the chapter, basically Abraham wants his son Isaac to be able to
find a wife, and he cannot find one for his son.
And he sends out his chief servant and says, go to my people and my kindred and find a
wife for my son Isaac.
And so, you know, the story goes along, and it's obvious Rebecca has strong character.
That's the woman that God has chosen.
The servant prays, and that's the woman very obviously.
And then the servant's talking to the family, and they say, well, why don't you just hang
out here for a while?
And he's like, no, we need to go back.
And then that's where we get to verse 57.
They said, we're going to call the damsel and inquire at her mouth.
Okay, because at the end of the day, even though this was the woman that the servant
saw that he thought was the right one, at the same time, she had a free will choice
to say yes or no, and she decides to go.
Okay, point number one, though, when it comes to marriage, there is a relinquishing that
takes place at marriage, a relinquishing or giving up of something that takes marriage.
And the idea that I'm saying is this, that before you're married, you know, you're inside
of a household, and you've got authority over you.
And this woman, Rebecca, you know, she's at her household, she has authority, she has
chores.
And then when she gets married, that world is relinquished.
There's a relinquishing of being underneath, you know, basically her parental authority,
and now she is with Isaac, okay?
Verse 58, and they called Rebecca and said unto her, wilt thou go with this man?
And she said, I will go.
And they sent away Rebecca, their sister and her nurse, and Abraham's servant and his men.
So basically, Rebecca leaves and she is no longer underneath that household.
Okay, go to Genesis chapter two, Genesis two.
So this is something for both husbands and wives to realize, and also the parents of
those people.
Because oftentimes what takes place in marriage is people get married, and they still allow
their parents to run their lives.
That is not the way God has set it up, right?
When you get married, there is a relinquishing, right?
You know, when you get married, you live in a household, the people that are young in
our church right now, right now, you're underneath the authority of your parents.
One day, when you get married, now you are in your own household.
As a wife, you have your husband above you.
As a husband, you're the leader of your home.
You cannot let your parents make all of your decisions for you when you're grown adults.
And look, this is a major thing that people struggle with, because many times parents
will try to go a bit overboard and run the lives of their kids that are already married
and no longer in the home, and tell them how to raise their kids, give them all of their
medical advice, and tell them you got to do this and this, just like we did it.
But you know what?
That is not a biblical concept, right?
When somebody gets married, now they have their own family.
There's a relinquishing of the situation that they were in before.
And you cannot let, and look, that's for the parents.
Don't try to run the lives of your kids when they're already married and in their own homes,
because they're their own unit.
But as a husband and a wife realize, you need to realize you're in a new relationship, right?
There's a relinquishing of that role, and no longer do your mom and your dad make all
your choices for you, because the reality is, as Bible-believing Christians, probably
for most of us, we're going to make a lot of different choices than our parents would
make.
And that's not an insult to our parents.
I believe my parents did a great job raising me, but the truth is, there are decisions
that I make with my kids that are different than the decisions that my parents would have
me make.
But here's the thing.
You know what?
I'm the head of my household.
I've got to make my own decisions, right?
There's a relinquishing of the role that I used to have.
Genesis chapter two, Genesis two, notice what it says in verse 24, Genesis two, verse 24.
Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave onto his wife,
and they shall be one flesh, right?
When you get married, husband and wife, you become one flesh, as the Bible says.
You're no longer in that old situation that you were at, right?
I believe Rebecca, as a young lady at her house, she had authority over her, okay?
But once she gets married, she's in a different situation.
She relinquishes that role.
And the same thing for a young man.
I mean, Isaac had a godly father, Abraham, but as Isaac gets married and has his own
home, Isaac's the one that makes those decisions.
It's not Abraham anymore because Isaac is the head of that home, right?
Go to Genesis 12, Genesis chapter 12.
This is something that is very hard for husbands, wives, and parents to fully understand.
When I say parents, I'm saying parents who have a child that grows up and becomes an
adult and basically, you know, that child, they still want to make the decisions oftentimes
for that child.
And look, my kids are young.
I'm not sitting here saying that when my kids are leaving the home, it's going to be
very easy for me to relinquish and like let go of that because you've been the person
who taught them for 18 years or 20 years.
So I understand it's probably pretty hard, especially if you see them making choices
that you don't think are right and you want to make those choices for them, but that's
not the biblical concept.
You need to let them make their own choices in life.
And here's the thing, you know what?
Every husband and wife, they get married and then they start raising kids and they make
a lot of mistakes along the way.
But here's the thing, those mistakes are pretty much necessary to actually learn and grow.
It's like, you know what?
I make mistakes as a husband and as a father and you know what?
It's easy to get the mentality.
I want to make sure my son doesn't make any mistakes, but in reality, you have to kind
of learn and grow and be in situations.
Honestly protect them from major danger, but honestly, a young man needs experience
leading a home and trial and error is honestly a large part of that.
And there's a relinquishing that takes place, but you know, this is hard for parents and
I'm not at that stage yet, but I'm sure it will be very difficult when my son is 20 years
old and running his own home.
But it's also difficult for husbands and wives because many times they let their parents
run their lives for them.
And in my opinion, it's usually a bit harder for the wives than it is the husbands to basically
relinquish that role.
With guys, it's okay to kind of run your own home, you kind of want to make your own decisions.
Sometimes with wives though, you know, it's difficult for them to relinquish that role
that they were in before and realize that they're in a new home and they shouldn't let
their parents make all of their decisions for them.
I'm not saying you can never get advice from your parents, but you cannot let your parents
make all of your decisions for you.
Once again, I just will not make all of the same decisions that my parents will make.
There are certain things that I'm going to do that are different, right?
When I was growing up, you know, I was really into sports.
I played travel soccer all the time and I loved it growing up as a kid, but the reality
is I don't want my son as much as I love sports growing up, I don't want him just doing traveling
sports all the time because he's going to be outside of church.
And you know, I realized that, yeah, he's going to miss out on something that is really
fun for a young child.
But to me, I'm just like, well, there's something more important, right?
I think there's something that's better for him.
So realize we're going to make different decisions than our parents are going to make.
So we have to realize we are in a new situation.
Genesis 12, we see here, Abram struggles with this himself.
You know, he struggles with letting his dad make his decisions for him.
Genesis 12, verse one, now the Lord had said unto Abram, get thee out of thy country and
from thy kindred and from thy father's house unto a land that I will show thee, and I will
make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee and make thy name great, and thou shall
be a blessing.
And I will bless them that bless thee and curse them that cursed thee, and in thee shall
all families of the earth be blessed.
Abraham is given this great promise.
Genesis 12, three is a great verse, very famous verse, and it says in verse four, so Abram
departed as the Lord had spoken unto him, and Lot went with him, and Abram was seventy
and five years old when he departed out of Haran.
Now go back to Genesis 11, look at verse 31, Genesis 11, verse 31, remember the Lord appeared
to Abram, okay, but then it says in Genesis 11, verse 31, as we look back to the situation,
And Terah took Abram his son, and Lot the son of Haran his son's son, and Sarai his
daughter-in-law, his son Abram's wife.
And they went forth with them of Ur the Chaldees to go into the land of Canaan, and they came
unto Haran and dwelt there.
And Lot told Abram, leave your father's house, unto the land that I will tell thee.
But it says in Genesis 11, verse 31, And Terah took Abram his son.
Now wait a minute, Abram, you are supposed to be leaving your father's house, and yet
you're allowing your father to make the decision where you're going to go.
And they're going to go to Canaan, but they don't go there, they go to Haran.
Now Abram departs from Haran, and the reason why he departs is found in verse 32, and the
days of Terah were 205 years, and Terah died in Haran.
So Abraham only listened to God's command once his father died.
God said leave your father's house, he didn't do it, his dad brings him to a location.
Once his dad dies, then he actually follows what God says.
And what you're seeing is, even for a godly person like Abraham, it was difficult to basically
fully grasp this, that basically, you know what, you're in a new relationship.
Don't let your dad make your choices.
But he allows Terah to make choices for him.
Why did God want him to depart from Terah?
Well, probably because Terah was worshiping idols, right, and what fellowship hath Christ
with Belial?
Right?
I mean, and it's just like, you know, we have different situations, people have different
parents, but when your parents are actively worshiping idols, it's not a good situation.
I mean, can you imagine you walk into the living room, and then your dad is bowing down
before Siva?
Right?
I mean, you got a problem there, right?
It's one thing, you know, if your parents, you know, are saved, but worldly or not saved,
but if they're worshiping false idols, you got a big problem there.
Okay?
Go to Genesis 31, Genesis 31, Genesis chapter 31.
Now, I do realize that, especially in today's world, it's difficult in terms of physical
proximity where people are not always able to basically live on their own, away from
their parents when they first get married.
And I understand that, but even if that is the case, spiritually and emotionally, I mean,
these things, you should have a separation from your parents, meaning realize that even
if you're around them, you still need to be making your own choices.
So for example, if you decide we're going to be in church every single week, you don't
let your parents say, well, we got a family gathering, we got to miss church, right?
You make your decisions and you stick by those decisions.
You don't let your parents make the decisions for you.
And you know what?
I'm sure it's going to be tough when my kids are grown up, but from what I've seen, parents
usually really struggle with this.
Where basically the children are now adults, but they don't always agree with the decisions
that their children make now that they're adults, and they try to make those decisions
for them.
It's like, well, you should let your kids do this.
It's like, well, I'm not asking for advice, right?
I mean, if I'm asking for advice, I'm going to say it, right?
And it's like, you got to be very careful.
Look, I'm sure I'm going to struggle when my kids grow up, but the reality is you got
to let them be their own people, their own relationship.
And if you try to get in the way, you're actually only going to harm their marriage.
It's going to cause difficulties with husband and wife.
Genesis 31 verse 43, and this is later on, but Laban, who is the character that's in
Genesis 24, you can see out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh, because
notice what it says in verse 43, and Laban answered and said unto Jacob, these daughters
are my daughters, and these children are my children, and these cattle are my cattle,
and all that thou seest is mine, and what can I do this day unto these my daughters
are onto their children, which they have born.
And Laban says, these daughters are my daughters.
He's like, no, wait a minute.
Your daughters are married.
What do you mean they're your daughters?
Like in this situation, if you know the story, Jacob is getting ripped off by Laban, and
then Jacob decides I'm going to separate, I'm going to leave, I'm going to go on my
own.
You know, Laban has ripped me off.
When am I going to provide for my own family?
And then all of a sudden, you know, once this takes place and Jacob's leaving out of the
abundance of Laban's heart, he says, these daughters are my daughters.
He looked at it and said, these are still my daughters.
They belong to me.
It's like, they're married.
They don't anymore.
And here's the reality for us that our parents with young children, including me and most
of us in this room, here's the reality.
We need to make sure we do our job as parents when they're young, because you only have
18 years.
Right?
And really, once they're going to reach the age of teenager, a lot of decisions are already
going to be made at that point.
We need to make sure we invest the time at a young age, because eventually it's too late
to have that sort of ability to make the decisions for your kids.
They're not going to listen to you in the same way.
It's like, we got to invest at a young age, because this is not true.
These daughters are my daughters.
Not anymore.
I mean, they're your daughters, but not in the same way, Laban.
And then he says, these children are my children.
It's like, no, your grandchildren are not your children.
They're somebody else's.
And look, I think it's great for grandchildren, grandparents to be involved in the life of
their grandkids.
But no, you don't make those decisions for Jacob and his wives.
They make those decisions, right?
And so this is something that people really struggle with, whether it be husband in a
new home as the new leader or wife or parents.
And many times you see that husbands and wives will allow their parents to bully them into
decisions that they don't want to do.
And they feel kind of ashamed or embarrassed because they don't want to upset their parents
or whatever.
And they get bullied into doing stuff that they don't actually want to do.
And then you see parents oftentimes that will refuse to relinquish that authority.
But biblically speaking, as a parent, you should relinquish that authority once they
get married.
And they're in their own home.
They're their own couple.
It's like now they are their own one flesh.
You're not part of that anymore.
Okay.
Now turn to Genesis chapter 24, Genesis 24.
And there was a relinquishing when Rebecca got married.
She is in a new situation now.
She is now the wife of Isaac and Isaac is the head of that home.
That's a completely different situation.
Okay.
Number one, we see a relinquishing.
Number two, we see roles.
We see gender roles or marriage roles kind of hinted at here in Genesis 24 verse 60.
And they blessed Rebecca and said unto her, Thou art our sister.
Be thou the mother of thousands of millions and let thy seed possess the gate of those
which hate them.
So it mentions Rebecca here and it mentions the idea of her being a mom, right?
This was in a day where being a mom was valued.
It was something where society looked at it as a very important role, raising kids.
In our modern day, it's not looked at quite the same way.
Now, part of this is because back in those days, it took a lot more work to raise kids.
What I mean by that is, you know what, nowadays you got microwaves, you've got, you know,
modern conveniences, right?
You know, so many modern conveniences back in the day, though, especially as they tended
to have big families.
I mean, women probably did laundry for three hours every day, not whereas they put the
clothes in the washer or whatever, and then they go about, no, literally three hours of
actually, you know, they can't take a break from it.
Like real time spent doing laundry with a big family, I mean, and cooking all the meals,
all the messes.
I mean, it was literally a 24-7 all day job.
I mean, nowadays with modern conveniences, there's more free time, and I'm not saying
that's a bad thing.
We just need to make sure we use that time wisely, but what we're seeing here is they're
valuing a woman's role to be a mom and raise kids and have children, right?
Go to Genesis chapter three, Genesis three.
And look, this is something that people really want to fight against in 2022.
You know, this big women's lib movement and the LGBT and all this stuff is like tied together
and everything like that.
And you know what, here's the thing, these guys can wear dresses as much as they want.
I still haven't seen a baby come out of their belly, right?
You can, I mean, and do whatever you want.
I mean, fly down to Thailand and get your, you know, change or whatever.
It's not going to change.
In fact, you're still not having a baby come out of that belly.
I mean, there's just a difference between men and women.
It's not complicated.
Two genders.
And they can fight against it all they want and try to do all this stuff like try to make
women out to be men and men out to be women, but men are still not having children.
It doesn't matter if they wear a dress, it doesn't matter if they wear high heels.
They're not having a baby come out of their belly.
You say why?
Because it's not possible.
It doesn't matter what they do.
It's just not going to happen, right?
And see, what we see from the Bible is that a woman's role is to be able to have children.
That is something God gave them.
It's not something for men.
It's not something we're able to do.
Well, here's the thing.
That is a very obvious thing that no one can dispute.
Women are the ones that give birth to babies, right?
Not men.
Well, here's the thing.
If there's a very specific role for women, doesn't it make sense that there'd be a specific
role for men as well?
Different roles between men and women?
Because if it's only women that can give birth to a child and everything else is equal, does
that really make sense?
Because then women have like an extra thing.
It doesn't really make sense, right?
God designed men and women differently, okay, and as it said, to be the mother of thousands
of millions.
Genesis 3 verse 16, Genesis 3 verse 16, Genesis 3 verse 16, unto the woman he said, I will
greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception.
This is the curse upon the woman due to the fall with Adam and Eve.
And he says he's going to multiply thy sorrow and thy conception in sorrow thou shalt bring
forth children and that thy desire shall be to thy husband and he shall rule over thee.
And it mentions there in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children and the idea being spoken
there is the pain that takes place during labor.
He's going to multiply thy sorrow.
The indication is there's more pain giving birth than there would have been if it weren't
for the fall.
And so basically multiply thy conception, more kids are going to be born as a result.
But multiply thy sorrow, there's going to be more pain in childbirth.
And look, pain is a natural part of childbirth.
Now I don't want to go on too big of a rabbit trail, but let me just say just briefly about
when it comes to giving birth and going through pain.
And look, obviously going through pain can signal there could be problems like there's
UTI is something my wife has dealt with before, infections, which can actually push the baby
before it's actually ready.
Because the Bible says the baby comes to the child comes to the birth.
But let me just say this, that pain is a natural part of labor and it's part of the curse that
God intended on there.
I don't personally believe removing all pain or trying to is a good thing because that
was actually a curse that God built in.
There's going to be side effects if you do that.
And I don't want to go on too big of a rabbit trail.
You know, I know a decent bit about labor because I've seen some of the videos and read
stuff.
I've talked to my wife about stuff and it can be a very controversial and touchy topic.
But let me just say, if God put the pain in as a natural part of birth, I don't believe
removing it completely is a good idea, okay?
And I'm not preaching a sermon on childbirth, so I'm not going to go down that rabbit trail.
But let me just say, just common sense of God put in that pain, then obviously that's
going to take place.
There is pain as part of actually giving birth, okay?
Now notice what it says in that verse and it says, and he shall rule over these.
So basically your husband is your head and your desire is to have your husband as your
head.
That's what it says.
And here's the thing, people allow themselves to get brainwashed and they believe they're
going to be happier because they hear this advice from the world.
They fight against what God says.
They believe they're going to be happier taking the advice from the world.
But inside of their heart, they actually have a desire to have their husband as the head.
And if they actually follow that, they're going to have a better life.
They're going to be happier.
It's going to lead to a better marriage if women don't fight against that natural thing
that God put in there of their desire is to their husband.
Women have a desire for husbands to be their leaders.
That is what the Bible teaches.
Verse 17, and on the Adam he said, because I was hearkened unto the voice of thy wife
and asked Eden of the tree of which I commanded thee saying, thou shalt not eat of it.
Cursed is the ground for thy sake and sorrow thou shalt eat of it all the days of thy life.
Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee and thou shalt eat the herb of the
field.
And the sweat of thy face shall thou eat bread till thou return unto the ground.
For out of it wast thou taken, for dost thou art and unto dost shalt thou return.
And Adam called his wife's name Eve because she was the mother of all living.
We see a distinction when it says the woman is the one who's going to bring forth children
or husbands the head.
And as a guy says, you know, you better provide for your family is what's being mentioned
in Genesis chapter three.
What we're seeing is a very big distinction in roles that is mentioned in Genesis chapter
three.
Go to Genesis 30.
Genesis 30.
You say, Brother Stuckey, you know, why is it so important for the mom, you know, to
raise the kids?
Because in general, women are going to be around their kids more than men.
Now, I can't remember if I said this here.
I think I didn't mention it.
I mentioned it in Manila on Sunday because, you know, I preach the same sermons.
But I mentioned the fact that the woman in the Song of Solomon at home can sometimes
get depressed because she's never leaving the house.
And I said, as a guy, I believe you ought to be fully capable of taking care of your
kids on your own if your wife has to go out and do something or if she needs a break or
whatever.
And that includes stuff like cooking meals, you know, cleaning, taking care of them.
I can say that I'm able to do that.
I don't enjoy doing it, but I'm able to do that.
And as a guy, what happens if your wife gets really sick?
Well, I mean, I hope you know what you're doing, right?
I mean, so yes, there's definite roles and a distinction, but I think we can go overboard
if we have this idea, what's like 100%.
This is what a man does and this is what a woman does.
As a guy, I feel like I should have the ability to take care of my kids, you know, especially
if necessity calls upon it, right?
Sometimes my wife gets sick.
If she gets sick, I don't want my wife doing all the work with the kids.
You know, it's like, hey, let me help you cook the meals, take care of them, clean them,
stuff like that.
But there is a distinction without a question in the word of God, but you say, why is it
that women are the ones that are to take care of their kids?
Because women do a better job than men would.
Women do a better job.
Women do a better job being around those kids and treating them with nurture and care than
guys do.
It's just a fact.
Now look, as a guy, you ought to learn what to do and do a good job, do the best you can.
But the reality is my wife does a better job than I would, right?
And it's just like, you know, I'll give you an example of this.
You know, I heard my wife teaching my kids, you know, the Bible and giving them Bible
lessons.
And I was just thinking, you know what, I'm a preacher.
It's like my primary job is to preach the word of God.
And I listened to my wife.
It's like, she's doing a better job helping the kids than I would because at a young age,
it's just like, she was very good at getting them involved and engaged.
And I was just thinking, I'm more like mathematical with my approach to my kids.
Like there's a place called hell, but my wife gets them actually engaged in everything.
And it just shows me women just do a better job at that.
It's just built into them.
Now, here's the thing.
As guys, we're not offended by that.
But here's the reality.
And this could offend a lot of people, but the reality is men do a better job when it
comes to work than women in secular jobs.
You say, why is it?
Now this is not to state, once again, it's not to state that a guy can't do a good job
taking care of his kids.
I think we ought to learn how and do a good job.
And it's not to state a woman can't be successful in the workplace, but it's a dog eat dog world
out there.
And let me tell you something, men are built to fight.
Men are built to battle.
Women are not.
There's a distinction there.
Now there's some obvious things such as the fact, because in America, it's a big thing
that women have a lower salary in general.
But the reason why they have a lower salary is because an employer realizes if he hires
a woman, she might end up having kids and leaving the workforce.
It takes place all the time.
So if you hire someone out of college, you want someone that's going to stick with the
company and with a woman, she might end up having kids and stay home because that takes
place.
So it's a very logical reason why men would have in general, a higher salary.
Let me just say something that men are built to basically be fighters.
I'll tell you what, I had coworkers at my old job in the US, in Maryland.
And you know what, there was ladies at our office that had children and once they had
children born, they would just mention during the day, sometimes I don't even want to come
to work.
I just want to stay with my kids.
They had lost that desire and that will to basically work their way to the top that they
had before because of that natural desire to have kids.
There's just a distinction.
And there's nothing to be offended on either side between men and women.
There's just a difference.
Men can do a good job raising kids, women do a great job working, but there is a distinction
for a reason that God made.
Genesis 30 verse one, and when Rachel saw that she bared Jacob no children, Rachel envied
her sister and said unto Jacob, give me children or else I die.
And Rachel's really upset that she doesn't have any children.
So she tells her husband, if you don't give me children, then I don't want to live.
Now this is not really an isolated event from women in the Bible that have trouble
having kids.
Similar with Hannah and her husband, and it shows you there's this natural desire inside
of women to have children.
You see that.
I mean very depressed not having children.
Verse two, and Jacob's anger was kindled against Rachel and he said, am I in God's head who
hath withheld from me the fruit of the womb?
And what we see from all the stories where, I mean, cause this pops up several times,
it's like this always takes place.
The wife is really upset and emotional.
The guy loses his temper and is basically Bastos back, you know, because is it my fault?
Right?
So it's something that obviously happens in the real world as well, not just in the Bible
where if women have trouble having kids, it can cause a lot of strain on that marriage
in that relationship because they have that natural desire to have children.
Verse three, and she said, behold my maid, Bella, going on to her and she shall bear
upon my niece that I may also have children by her.
Now I really don't understand why Rachel and Sarah do this, right, where they basically
say I can't have kids so they get their husband to marry another woman and have a concubine
wife.
It doesn't really make sense to me, but polygamy was not uncommon back in Bible days.
Very strange to me because here's the thing, I mean, him having a child with your bondmaid,
that doesn't make it your child, right?
I mean, that's not going to give you that fulfillment, right?
Verse four, and she gave him Bella her handmaid to wife and Jacob went in onto her and Bella
conceived and bared Jacob a son and Rachel said, God hath judged me and hath also heard
my voice and hath given me a son, therefore called she his name Dan.
Now look, if you want something and you get it, that does not mean God blessed you, right?
She wants to have a child, she wants Jacob to have a child with Bella, Bella has a child,
that doesn't mean you made the right decision.
Just because God allows something to happen doesn't mean that God blessed you and she
says God's blessed.
No, no, no, he didn't because when is it in God's will for him to marry another woman,
right?
That is not in God's will, just because he allows you to have children doesn't mean that
God blessed you, okay?
Don't get this mentality if something works out the way you want it to that you're right
with God because the question is what about your actions and the actions were wrong, okay?
Now turn in your Bible to Genesis 24, Genesis 24, Genesis chapter 24.
The first thing we see is relinquishing.
When you get married, there's a relinquishing of your former situation into a new household
and parents ought to help with that and you know what?
Sometimes kids, especially because you're in a new marriage and things are difficult
and sometimes kids, a new husband and wife might go to the parents for help or whatever
because that's what they're used to.
As parents, you can give good advice, but what you should really do is say, hey, you
know what?
You guys have to make that decision and just basically say, hey, you know what?
We're no longer your authority, right?
You need to make that decision and your husband's the head of your home.
You need to make that decision of what's right and do what's right because there's a relinquishing
that takes place.
There's also roles that are mentioned in Genesis 24, a very clear role of women having kids,
which is something men will never be able to do.
Number three, we also see ruminating.
Now, you say, what is ruminating?
It means to meditate, but this is an alliterated sermon, RRR.
So I had to come up with a synonym for meditate.
It's ruminating.
Okay.
The idea is that Isaac is meditating on God's word.
He's ruminating on God's word.
Notice what you see in Genesis 24 verse 61, and Rebecca rose in her damsels and they rode
upon the camels and followed the man and his servant took Rebecca and went his way.
And Isaac came from the way of the well of the high road for he dwelt in the south country.
And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide.
Now, I believe that he's meditating on the word of God.
Okay.
The reason why I believe this is all throughout the Bible, you see God's people will go out
to nature away from distractions and just pray to God, meditate on God's word.
And I remember seeing this as a young man in the Bible, and I actually tried this where
basically I would get off work and I would go to basically some random mountain, which
was on the way home, walk up there, no distractions, and just pray to God and think about God's
word.
I mean, it's a pretty amazing thing to be honest, you know, when you're completely away
from distractions and you're out in nature, you know, I really felt like I was close to
God.
I was praying to God.
I was very sincere in my heart.
It felt really great to do that.
And I do believe that just actually being out in nature is a good thing for us.
Okay.
And Isaac, he's out meditating in the field.
I think he's meditating on the word of God.
Okay.
I don't think he's like, you know, some Indian guru or whatever with some little orange scarf
and showing half his body, you know, doing some sort of drug.
You know, it's like, I don't believe that that's what's taking place.
I believe he's a man of God.
He's meditating on the word of God.
Now go to Psalm 119.
Psalm 119.
I mean, in today's world, the word meditate has kind of a bad connotation because there's
always these weird Eastern philosophies that are just like out in the middle of nature.
Just like the funniest is the ones, it's usually the Taoists that do the martial arts, like
to the air.
Some, they're just like up here for like an hour, like in the mountains or whatever.
And I'm not against martial arts, but it's just like they mix in their false religion
with like martial arts and somehow that spiritual or whatever.
It's just like, I don't think that's what Isaac was doing.
Okay.
I think he was meditating on the word of God.
Now it is very important.
Here's the thing though, in a marriage, meditating on the word of God is very important.
In a marriage, the word of God is extremely important for your life, right?
This is the source of knowledge you have.
And as married people, if you want to have a good marriage, you better make sure this
is your guiding principle.
You better make sure you're dedicated to church.
You're reading the word of God.
You're learning what the Bible says and you're following and doing what the Bible says as
a husband, as a wife, as a father, as a mother.
We need to let this be our guide.
We need to meditate on the God's word as much as possible.
And here's the thing about this.
Sometimes you hear things or you read things, but it doesn't mean that it fully clicks with
you.
You're not quite sure.
Sometimes you've got to stop and meditate on God's word and pray about it.
And then you can kind of fully understand sometimes, right?
You know, many times it happens to me as I'm confused on passages, but notice what it says
in Psalm 119 verse 15, I will meditate in thy precepts and have respect on in thy ways.
So verse 15 is talking about just meditating on what God says on God's rules.
Just think about them.
Anyway, we know what God's rules are.
You know, at a church like ours, we preach them.
Sometimes we should just stop and think about it and realize it's important.
There's a reason God has these rules, right?
Verse 23, princes also did sit and speak against me, but thy servant did meditate in thy statutes.
Go to verse 48, my hands also will I lift up onto thy commandments, which I have loved,
and I'll meditate in thy statutes.
Verse 78, verse 78, let the proud be ashamed for they dealt perversely with me without
a cause, but I will meditate in thy precepts, meditate in thy precepts.
Go to verse 97, O how loved are thy law, it is my meditation all the day that through
thy commandments has made me wiser than mine enemies, for they are ever with me.
I have more understanding than all my teachers, for thy testimonies are my meditation.
Verse 148, 148, one more place here, 148, mine eyes prevent the night watches.
And what that means is that I might meditate in thy word.
What that means in verse 148 is here's a man who is tired, should be going to bed, but
he wants to meditate on God's word.
He wants to read God's word.
He wants to learn something from the word of God, and he's still meditating on God's
word.
But what you're seeing in these verses, meditating on thy statutes, on thy precepts.
In our modern day, if you ask the average Christian about thinking about God and meditating
about God, their idea is just kind of in general, just thinking about God and how awesome God
is.
But Psalm 119 highlights meditating upon the statutes.
And so look, when we have sermons on doctrine, that doctrine is important.
Rules that are mentioned in the Bible, we meditate on it, figure out what does this
mean?
Rhyming with anything, any of the 10 commandments you want, thou shalt not kill, meditate on
it.
Think about it.
What does that mean?
How do you apply that?
What's the purpose of God?
Why is this in God's rules?
Right?
What's the meaning?
Any of God's rules, any of God's statutes, any sermons you hear, I preach doctrine, I
teach things, meditate upon it, think upon it, search the scriptures to see whether these
things are so.
Right?
You know, I'm preaching through a bit of a cryptic book.
I encourage you to go back through Song of Solomon and test it out.
Read Song of Solomon 1, see, did what Brother Stuckey say, you know, is that actually what
it's saying?
Does that make sense?
Song of Solomon chapter 2, anything I preach through, I encourage you to check those scriptures
out, meditate upon them, and think about what God says.
And in marriage, the Bible is incredibly important to a good marriage.
Now, of course, we know at this church, you need to be part of church and have that as
your foundation.
But you know, many people in this world, their marriages are awful, and it could probably
be fixed if they just meditated on God's word every day.
But the reason why a lot of people fail in their marriages, they don't even know what
they're supposed to do.
They have no idea.
They have no idea what the Bible teaches.
They have no idea how to raise kids.
They don't know what the Bible says.
I mean, if you don't know these things, you're going to just listen to what the world says.
The world's failing, right?
Christians listen to the advice from the world on how to raise kids.
Last I checked, the generations that are coming up are not exactly the godliest.
They're not exactly the most respectful.
The no spanking technique, I'm sorry, we've got actual proof it's failed.
Look at how disrespectful kids are in today's world.
It's not working.
And look, I'm not fully insulting those parents because most of those parents probably didn't
even know what the Bible said.
They just heard something, it sounded good.
You know, oh, just giving them candies is more loving than giving them a spanking.
I mean, it sounds good.
It sounds nice.
But wait a minute, is that what God says?
That's why we need to meditate on God's word so we know what we're doing.
When it comes to being a parent, when it comes to marriage, when it comes to anything, we
need to meditate on God's word, ruminate on God's word.
Go to Matthew 14.
Matthew 14.
Let me give you an example of meditating, okay?
Actually meditating on God's word.
Because you know what?
I believe and live by Bible reading schedules and Bible memorization schedules and things
like that where you give yourself a set amount and sometimes you fail at them, but at least
it gives you something to shoot for every day.
The truth is, you can only read the Bible for so much, right?
I mean, if you have a couple free hours and you're able to read the Bible for three hours
in a day, then amen, praise the Lord for that.
I can just say that my mind wanders a lot sooner than that.
But you know, once you do your Bible reading, if you have free time, you could also just
meditate on God's word.
You know, you can just stop and think about it and just kind of pray a little bit, meditate
on God's word.
Make sure you do your Bible reading.
But if you have extra time and you feel burnout on reading, you can still meditate on God's
word.
I mean, one thing I like to do from time to time is just meditate about the doctrine of
hell.
And the reason why I do that is because it motivates me.
Person I got saved here in the park a couple hours ago, you know, he asked me afterwards
after he got saved, he said, you know, like, you know, why do you do this?
You know, what makes you go out and do this?
I said, because I believe in hell.
I was like, I look at all the people here and I was like, I'm scared of these people
going to hell.
I don't want anyone to go to hell.
I was like, that's my primary motivation.
And I'm not saying that is your primary motivation.
That's my primary.
That, that has always been my primary motivation to make changes in my life.
Because when I first got saved, look, I watched everything that everybody watches.
I listened to everything that everybody listens to as we probably all did, right?
The changes I've made in my life, really the big thing is just the reality of hell
and realizing that if I make changes in my life, it's going to help people get to heaven
one day.
And I just thought, man, it's selfish of me.
And I'm not saying I'm perfect because I still have a lot of areas in my life.
I'm just saying, I told this person, hell is the motivation.
And sometimes what I like to do, I just have free time.
You know, I just kind of meditate about hell.
I'll be honest, sometimes I'll go to YouTube and I'll just watch a volcano, right?
We were just looking at a volcano exploding before the service.
But actually when there's the lava, you know, sometimes I'll just look at it because it's,
we believe in hell.
We know it's real, but it's almost too hard to believe that 99% of this world is going
to go to hell forever.
And sometimes I like to just meditate about hell and think about it.
And especially with my son, I show him videos of volcanoes and say, this is where people
are going to go, right?
They're going to go to this burning place forever.
I can see the look of fear in my son's eyes.
And he knows the answers.
What do you have to do to get to heaven?
Believe on Jesus.
But he's too young at this point to fully grasp that.
But I mean, just meditating on the rules God has and what God says, you know, honestly
can be very powerful in your life.
That's what I believe Isaac is doing.
Go to Matthew 14.
Matthew 14.
And for the sake of time, I'll just drop you to verse number 23, Matthew 14 verse 23.
And when he had sent the multitudes away, this is Jesus, he went up into a mountain
apart to pray.
Apart means away from everybody.
Apart or without, away from everybody.
He goes alone to pray in a mountain.
And when the evening was come, he was there alone.
And I believe the idea is like Isaac meditating in a field, sometimes it's good just to get
alone and spend time with God.
Now, of course, you're not necessarily able to go to a mountain every single day, but
you should have your alone personal time with God, you know, every single day.
And here's the thing, obviously, as a married couple with kids, you're going to have kids
around, but you should still have a personal time with God.
That could mean your wife is reading the Bible while you are, but you're just personally
thinking about the Bible yourself.
But even a great thing that you can do sometimes is when you actually get out in nature and
just get alone and talk to God, right?
And I've known times before we've had like hiking trips, you know, at churches I've been
at and people bring a guitar and you're singing hymns.
It's pretty powerful, right?
I mean, it feels great and it's a great activity, great for fellowship.
Once you're meditating on God's statutes and his rules, it's a great thing to do.
Turn in your Bible to Genesis 24.
And another thing to keep in mind is that when Judas betrayed Jesus, Judas knew where
to find Jesus because it said he would oftentimes resort with his disciples there just getting
alone out in nature, right, is what he's doing.
He had a place to kind of get away.
And I do believe that if all you ever do is you're inside, it will drive you crazy.
Sometimes you just got to go out and do something, right?
And you know, if you have a place like that you can resort to, you know, even better,
right?
Number one, though, there's a relinquishing when it comes to marriage.
There's a relinquishing for husbands and wives in their current situations and also the parents
letting go of those kids.
There's rules that are mentioned in Genesis 24.
She's the mother of thousands of millions.
There's ruminating or meditating in God's word.
But fourthly, lastly, when it comes to marriage, when it comes to a marriage, there is relieving
or comforting between husband and wife that they will comfort and help one another, right?
This is my friend, as the Bible says in the Song of Solomon.
Now go to Genesis 24 verse 63, it says at the end of that verse, he lifted up his eyes
and saw and behold the camels were coming and Rebekah lifted up her eyes and when she
saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel for she had said unto the servant, what man is this
that walketh in the field to meet us?
And the servant has said, it is my master.
Therefore, she took a veil and covered herself.
And the servant told Isaac all things that he had done.
And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent and took Rebekah and she became his wife
and he loved her.
And Isaac was comforted after his mother's death.
Now, usually you would think of the husband comforting or relieving his wife.
But here mentions that she actually comforts her husband.
And in marriage for both husband and wife, your spouse is going to have some down times.
They're going to have times they get depressed.
They're going to have times when things aren't going well.
And whether you're a husband or wife, your job is to actually relieve or comfort or help
them through those difficult times.
Right?
You know, two are better than one, the Bible says, and two become one.
But as the spouse, if your husband's down, pick him up.
If your wife's down, pick her up, help them out.
And you know, we think of husbands doing that with the wives, but it's actually the wife
helping or comforting Isaac in Genesis 24.
Because obviously when his mom dies, there's going to be some depression there.
There's going to be sadness.
Right?
I mean, if somebody close to you passes away, you know what, you're not going to feel very
good.
Right?
And she actually comforts him through those difficult times because he's depressed that
his mom is not around.
Go to Song of Solomon 5, we'll look at a few places in Song of Solomon.
Song of Solomon chapter 5.
And in Song of Solomon chapter 5 verse 16, which obviously we'll talk about this in several
weeks.
But let me just show this to you.
It says, his mouth is most sweet, yet he is altogether lovely.
This is my beloved.
And notice this, and this is my friend.
This is my friend.
It's a powerful statement.
And what she says about her husband is, he's my friend.
And just think about with your personal friends before you're married.
Just about your buddies, your pare, as a guy.
It's like, if your friends aren't doing well, you try to help them out.
Your friend is dating a girl, she breaks up with him, your friend's depressed, you comfort
and help your friends.
As the friend of him, you try to lift him up, try to make him feel better.
They're not doing well, you try to make them feel better.
As a friend, it's your job to try to lift up your other friends.
But here's the thing, in marriage, your number one friendship you ought to have is with your
spouse.
And so here's the thing, if your spouse is not doing well, you're their friend there
to help lift and comfort and help them out through those times.
It's a responsibility both for husbands and wives to help comfort relieve your spouse.
Go to Song of Solomon chapter one, Song of Solomon one.
And if you remember in Song of Solomon one, I'm not going to take too long to talk about
this, we already have, but in Song of Solomon one, remember, she's depressed about her appearance.
She feels down about her appearance.
And in verse nine, what he tells his wife is, I have compared thee, O my love, to a
company of horses in Pharaoh's chariots.
He tells his wife, you're like the greatest horses in the world, the greatest, most beautiful,
most precious.
And he's saying, you're just so much better than anybody else.
And he's trying to lift up his wife who's feeling a little bit down.
And sometimes in marriage, your spouse is going to feel a little bit down.
And I believe it happens kind of in different ways because what we're seeing in Song of
Solomon is the wife can feel down on her appearance.
And as I've said, as a guy, it's not really something you think about as much, but in
other ways you can get down or depressed or feel like things aren't going well.
And as a wife, you can comfort your husband, just as a husband, you can comfort your wife
through those times.
And so, go to Song of Solomon two, we'll look at one last place, Song of Solomon two.
And I mean, you could really look at a lot of places in Song of Solomon.
I'm trying not to get ahead to other sections or whatever, but in Song of Solomon chapter
two, because actually, I mean, I write my sermons in advance, so it just so happens
I've got Song of Solomon here.
It's like, well, I already preached that, right?
I don't want to preach though ahead in the future chapters, but in Song of Solomon two,
it says in verse seven, I charge you of your daughter's Jerusalem by the rose and by the
hinds of the field that you stir not up nor wake my love till he please.
And then time goes by and he's coming home from work.
The voice of my beloved, behold, he cometh leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon
the hills.
Often you see her getting kind of depressed or down when she's alone and he comes home,
he comforts her.
And in marriage, there is that comfort, that relieving that is going to take place in marriage.
So what we see in Genesis 24, number one, there is a relinquishing that takes place.
As husbands, as wives, leave father and mother and cleave unto your spouse.
There's a relinquishing.
There's a new situation.
You need to be very careful not to let your parents make all of your decisions for you
if you disagree with them.
There's many ways that parents can disagree with the decisions that their kids would make.
For example, public school versus homeschooling.
Well, I mean, a lot of people that are in our sort of church like homeschooling, but
a lot of their parents would be like, you're not going to have our grandkids in public
school.
They're going to become so antisocial.
It's just like, I mean, that's a real thing that takes place or a lot of medical decisions.
The reality is a lot of the decisions I make with my kids are not the same decisions my
parents made.
When it comes to various things with babies being born with vaccines and stuff like that,
I don't have all the same opinions that my parents would have.
My parents did a great job raising me, but I'm just saying people don't always see things
the same way.
As husband and wife, you make your own decisions.
There's also roles mentioned.
It mentions her being the mother of thousands of millions.
There's also ruminating, which is like meditating on the word of God is what you see with Isaac.
He's meditating.
And look, you know, when you get married, don't just forsake your Bible reading now
that you're married and you're busy.
You got kids, you got a family.
Now you need to make sure you're still meditating on God's word.
Otherwise that marriage is just going to be pretty rough.
You got to meditate on God's word.
And also there's a relieving or comforting that takes place in marriage between husband
and wife.
Let's close in word of prayer.