Alright, we're here in Ephesians, chapter 6, and we're continuing our series on fundamental
family tips.
And when you do a series like this, and we already talked about husbands and wives, obviously
there's a lot of crossover information with husbands and with fathers.
I try my best not to be super repetitive, so there might be some places that I would
have gone to if this was a standalone sermon, like a Father's Day sermon.
But some of that information I already covered about being a provider and stuff like that
when it comes to being a husband.
So we only have three points here today.
This is probably not going to be the longest sermon, but point number one is this.
When it comes to your temper as a father, you need to control your temper with your
children.
Control your anger.
Notice what it says in Ephesians 6, verse 1.
Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may
be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
Now the first three verses focus on the children, and we're going to have a sermon specifically
geared toward children here in this series.
But then in verse 4, it's going to shift from children to the fathers, okay?
And ye fathers provoke not your children to wrath, okay?
This is the one verse where it focuses on the fathers here, and it says provoke not
your children to wrath.
Why does the Bible focus on that?
Because that is something that men can struggle with.
Men can struggle with their temper, and they can provoke their children to wrath when their
children make honest mistakes.
Provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the
Lord.
When it says admonition, that's speaking about correcting your child, right?
If you have to spank them and discipline them and train them.
But it also says bring them up in the nurture of the Lord.
If you remember the first Father's Day here, we had that coffee cup, and we had Ephesians
6, 4 on that coffee cup.
Because I remember this was a very encouraging verse to me when our sons F and I was about
to be born, because it really boils down being a father to two things.
Providing nurture and admonition.
If all you do is provide love and care and never discipline, there's a bad balance there,
okay?
However, if you're like this military father, and you're just like always spanking your
child, it's like sons sit up straight and always yelling at them and never spending
time, never encouraging them, never playing with them.
That is a bad balance also.
It says nurture and admonition.
And here's the thing.
If you're losing your temper with your children, you're not really providing nurture.
And you will provoke your children to wrath.
Go to Psalm 103.
Psalm 103.
Psalm right in the middle of your Bible, Psalm 103.
Now here's the thing.
Whenever you preach a sermon like this, it's a lot easier said than done, right?
And isn't that true with everything in the Bible?
It's very easy to get up here and say, read the Bible every day.
But then it's a lot harder to actually do it, right?
It's very easy to preach these things.
I'm not going to sit here and say that I'm perfect at these things.
I'm just showing you some applications from the Bible and what it says.
Here's some practical, you know, examples of this.
You come home from work after eight hours or 10 hours, you've had a hard day, your
boss is yelling at you, you know, you're doing something on the computer and you make
a mistake and you've got to spend a couple extra hours.
You come home, you're tired, your kids are crying and everything.
It's very easy to lose your temper and take it out on your children.
See the Bible says that you will provoke your children to wrath if that's how you always
are toward your children.
You want to leave your problems at work and then come home to a different environment.
Psalm 103 verse 13, Psalm 103 verse 13, like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord
pitieth them that fear him.
See, as a father, you are a picture to your child of God the father, or you should be.
Because like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him.
And see what the Bible is saying is this, you ought to be merciful and compassionate
toward your children.
I mean, isn't God compassionate to us?
We make mistakes every single day and he still gives us another chance.
Yeah, we're still able to serve him.
He still blesses us even though we mess up every single day, okay?
And guess what?
Your children, especially when they're young and still makulit, they will mess up every
single day.
They're going to do things wrong.
They're going to make mistakes.
And see, a lot of these mistakes, they're not intentional like they're sinning.
They're just a mistake.
I mean, they're learning how to eat.
They're learning how to drink.
We'll prepare for them to accidentally drop stuff on the floor, right?
Give them a fork with rice and then all of a sudden it's like, why is there no rice on
your fork?
And it all fell on the floor, right?
It's just part of children growing up.
Everything is new to them.
I mean, when a child is born, they don't even know how to walk.
They don't know how to walk.
They don't know how to speak really other than just say little things here and there.
Look, everything is new to them.
And whenever something's new, guess what?
You're not going to be good at it.
It takes time, right?
We're talking about basketball here today.
And I remember when I first started playing basketball, I could not make a layup.
You say, why?
It was new to me, right?
I had never done it before.
Now I just can't make a three pointer or a free throw, right?
But I can make a layup.
Okay.
It's like whenever you start at something and it's new, you're just not going to be
good at it, right?
Nobody's just amazing at everything from day one.
So look, your children are going to make mistakes and the Bible says we ought to pity our children
and be merciful to them when they mess up.
Okay.
Go to Luke chapter 15, Luke 15, Luke 15, Luke chapter 15 in your Bible.
And here's what you have to remember.
You know, the more merciful and compassionate you are toward your children, the more merciful
and compassionate God is going to be with you when you mess up.
I don't have the verses in front of me, but the Bible speaks about that in Psalms and
I think it's second Samuel, either first or second Samuel.
And you know, those that show mercy, God's going to be merciful to them.
And so if you're not merciful toward your children, then God's going to be less merciful
to you when you mess up.
Okay.
Luke 15, we have the story of the prodigal son.
The prodigal son.
I want to show you a few things here.
Luke 15 verse 11, and he said, a certain man had two sons and the younger of them said
to his father, father, give me the portion of goods that fall to me.
And he divided onto them his living.
Okay.
So in verse 12, the younger son, he asked for his inheritance.
Okay.
And the father gives him his inheritance.
Now, we don't know how old this child is.
My guess is, is, I mean, it's, it's a story, so you're kind of just guessing, but I would
say he sounds like a teenager to his early twenties.
Okay.
He's still underneath the rule of his father and his father has an inheritance for them.
Now ask yourself this question.
Is it wise to give a 16 year old all of their inheritance?
Is a 16 year old ready for that much money?
Probably not.
Okay.
This father loves his children, but he's making a mistake by saying, Hey, here's 2 million
pesos, right?
It's like the child is too young to figure it out.
You got to work through struggles in life.
Okay.
And he's too young to just get this inheritance.
And we're going to see that in this story.
So he divides onto them as inheritance, verse 13, and not many days after the younger son
gathered all together and took his journey into a far country and there wasted his substance
with riotous living.
Now when it's saying riotous living, I presume we're talking about drinking, maybe gambling,
maybe drugs, maybe partying and fornicating and all kinds of stuff.
Maybe I mean, he's not very smart with money.
He's probably going to fancy restaurants and not thinking about how much money he's losing.
He wastes all of his money.
And when you're reading the story, you assume that it's at least a sizable amount of money.
Okay.
To waste all of your inheritance.
And he just wastes all of it.
Why he's too young to realize how to deal with money.
Right.
Have you ever seen these celebrities like these athletes?
These basketball players are like 19 years old.
Here's a $100 million contract.
Now how do you waste $100 million?
I mean literally, how do you do that?
And yet all the time you see, hey, this is where Mike Tyson spent his like $500 million.
How do you lose $500 million?
I mean that takes talent.
That takes skill.
Like how do you even do that?
And yet athlete after athlete, Allen Iverson, Mike Tyson, hundreds of millions of dollars,
and then they just blow it all.
It's like, why do you need 25 cars?
It's like they waste money.
They got like seven houses and then they're bankrupt.
They just don't know how to deal with money.
They're really good at playing basketball.
They don't know how to deal with money and they lose it all.
Right.
I doubt this kid had $25 million, but he blows all of his money.
Okay.
Verse 14, and when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land and he
began to be in want.
Now let me explain something to you.
Even if you don't get this major inheritance, realize this, a famine is always going to
be coming.
You might not be going through a famine now, but don't just spend every cent you got just
assuming, hey, everything's going to be the same in six months.
Well, I mean, what happened the last 12 months?
Did anybody see that coming?
I mean, we had our missions trip about a year ago and you know, I remember being frustrated
there making it hard for people to travel here.
I would have never guessed this would drag on for months and months and eventually years
and years potentially, right?
It's like nobody saw this coming, but you have to realize throughout the Bible, famines
end up coming, save up for rainy day.
Okay.
Unfortunately, when people are young though, they just don't think about that.
Now I will explain something to you being a father versus when I was single, because
here's the thing.
When you're single, you know, you go to restaurants, you spend money, you go on vacations.
Quite honestly though, you're going to wish you had that money to spend on your children
one day.
Okay.
Don't waste all of your money that you have.
Wait because there is a famine coming.
There is a rainy day coming.
Prepare for the future.
There is a mighty famine in the land and he began to be in want.
Now here's the thing, if there is a big famine, there's probably not a whole lot of people
that are going to be generous to help them out.
I mean, if everybody's rich, they're going to help you out with stuff, but if there's
a big famine, nobody's willing to help them out.
So he has no money.
Okay.
Look at verse number 20.
Go down to verse 20.
We don't have time to read the whole story, but I mean, I'm sure you're familiar with
the story.
He wastes all of his money.
He realizes he's a fool.
He ends up going back to his family.
Verse 20, and he arose and came to his father, but when he was yet a great way off, his father
saw him and had compassion and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him.
Notice the first reaction of this parent is he has compassion.
Ask yourself this question as a father in this room.
When your kids messed up, what is your first reaction?
Is it anger or compassion?
Now I'm not talking about your kids intentionally committed some sin or did something wrong.
I'm saying they make a mistake or they learned your lesson.
What's your reaction?
Well, you know, you deserve that.
It's like, what's your reaction?
Do you have compassion or do you have anger?
Because here's the thing, if the father had always showed anger toward his child, I don't
think that son would have come back home, but his son was able to humble himself and
come home because he knew he had a dad who loved him.
He knew his dad was going to be compassionate on him and his dad was.
He's compassionate on his son.
Verse 21, and the son said onto him, father, I have sinned against heaven and in thy sight
and am no more worthy to be called thy son.
Now in this story, you see that this son realizes I messed up, right?
No question about it.
He realizes I messed up.
Here's the thing.
If your children mess up or they do something wrong, once they apologize, it should be over.
You give them whatever punishment is necessary, but if they are sorry, then you forgive them.
Okay?
Look, I mean, the Bible does not support this big prison system that you see in the world
today where it's like somebody makes a mistake when they're 18 years old and then all of
a sudden it's like 25 years later, they're still paying for it.
Now, look, if it's something like that deserves the death penalty, well, yeah, the Bible supports
the death penalty.
If they committed some wicked sin, yeah, if they murdered someone.
Yeah, put them to death.
That's what the Bible says, right?
But if they made some mistake, if they stole something, well, they pay off that debt, a
fourfold punishment, right?
Or sometimes a fivefold, right?
So look, there's not this system of this prison system where you hang it over their head like
20 years down the road when they made an honest mistake.
No, they should be forgiven and it should be forgotten.
So look, don't have that reaction with your children because that is not God's system
that the world has, okay?
You spank them if necessary, you punish them, and then it's over, okay?
Now realize this, I'm not saying there is never a time for any other form of punishment
because the reality is we do live in a world that does have a prison system.
And so as kids get older, if they do things really wrong, there might be a place for something
that's more than a spanking, but actually like a grounding sort of thing.
And that's your job, your decision as mom and dad to make those decisions.
Because if you want to prepare them for the world and say, hey, you're not going to get
away with this in the real world, there might be a place for that.
I'm not saying it's wrong and as my kids get older, if they do something majorly wrong,
but at this age, it's like, well, they get a spanking if they do wrong, right?
I don't hold it over their head 10 years down the line.
That is not how God reacts.
And this father, he has compassion.
He pities his son when he comes home.
Verse 22, but the father said to his servants, bring forth the best robe and put it on him
and put a ring on his hand and shoes on his feet and bring hither the fatted calf and
kill it and let us eat and be married.
For this, my son was dead and is alive again.
He was lost and is found and they began to be married.
Okay, now go to verse 31.
Verse 31.
I'm going to go on a quick rabbit trail.
I've heard this passage and this story used to say, you must repent of your sins to be
saved.
Right?
Now you say, brother, sucky, where are they getting that at?
I'm not sure.
Okay.
But they'll say, well, you know, this son left the family and if he didn't come back
and if he wasn't sorry, then you know what, then that shows that he would have just never
been accepted and he would have gone to hell.
That's what the Bible is teaching.
Well, first off, this is a story.
You don't form your, your doctrines off of stories, but here's the thing.
If you want to use this as an example, you have to repent of your sins.
Let me ask you a question.
At what point does that child stop being the son of that father?
Look, if my kid, if Zeph turns 18 and he says, I hate you dad, I'm running away from home
and he's gone for 10 years, guess what?
He's still my son.
Now I'm not using this story to support salvation because that's not the purpose, but if you're
trying to, it supports what we believe because he's still a son of that father.
It never changes.
Now here's the thing.
When it comes to having a good relationship with God, you need to say you're sorry every
day.
When it comes to a child having a good relationship with their parents, they need to say they're
sorry when they mess up, but that doesn't change the relationship.
The relationship is still father son, even if the fellowship is broken.
If you stop going to church, stop reading the Bible, you know, stop serving God, your
fellowship with God is broken, but you know the relationship's not broken because last
I checked, you're only born one time.
I mean, who's been born more than once?
Anybody?
For me, I was only born, you know, one time, right?
I mean twice if you count spiritually, okay?
I was physically born in 1984, spiritually in 2003, okay?
But look, don't tell me you were born three times, okay?
Physically and spiritually, that's it, okay?
And so look, he never stops being his son.
It's ridiculous to try to use this passage to say, you've got to repent of your sins
to be saved.
That's not what the Bible's teaching.
Verse 31, but notice this, the other son becomes envious.
He's mad that dad was so compassionate towards his brother.
Notice what it says in verse 31, and he said onto him, son, this is the envious son.
He said onto him, son, thou art ever with me.
Notice this, and all that I have is thine.
What is he saying?
He's saying, son, why are you upset?
Your brother wasted his inheritance.
I'm not taking your inheritance and giving it to him.
He's accepting him in the family to say, I love you.
And of course there's a job waiting and he can live with him and everything.
But here's the thing, he says, all that I have is thine.
He wasted his inheritance.
See here's the thing, if you backslide on God and you commit sins, God will accept you
back, but there's repercussions.
You reap what you sow, and he lost all of his inheritance.
He could have used that money on a down payment on a house, or maybe not a car back then,
but a chariot or something like that.
And it's like, he spent all of his money.
Well look, you reap what you sow, but of course that father should accept back that child
because he loves him.
It was meet that we should make Mary and be glad for this thy brother was dead and is
alive again and was lost and is found.
Now go to Proverbs six, Proverbs six, Proverbs six, Proverbs six.
So number one, when it comes to being a father, one of the big things the Bible mentions is
controlling your temper, just having compassion on your children.
And look, you know, here's the thing, if you're not a father in this room, you know, we have,
we have some men in this room that are going to be fathers, people that are married.
They're going to have children, people that are going to get married the next few years
and have children.
It's like, this stuff's very easy to preach, but you know what?
It's difficult, right?
You say, well, you know, you're single, you're not a husband, you're not a wife.
It's easy to preach this stuff, but it's hard to actually apply this stuff.
Being a father, being a mom, it's very easy to see what the Bible says, but that doesn't
make it actually easy to do.
This is the way it works with a Bible.
It's very easy to see the Bible says, read the Bible every day, but that doesn't mean
it's easy to do, right?
But the Bible is very clear what we need to do, okay?
Now you're in Proverbs chapter six, Proverbs six, point number one was temper, control
your temper.
Point number two, let's talk about time.
Let's talk about time.
And there's two aspects I want to talk about, okay?
One aspect is to redeem your time, meaning do not waste time.
Do not waste time.
Look, there are 24 hours in the day.
It doesn't become 25 hours if you waste an hour.
If you waste an hour on Facebook in the morning, you've got 23 hours left.
Plus, you know you're sleeping at least six hours a night, right?
You've just wasted an hour.
I mean, you wake up a couple hours early before work and you're just sitting there on Facebook
and paying attention to the PBA or the NBA or volleyball or whatever, and it's just like
you're finding out how many strands of the coronavirus we got here now or whatever.
It's just like, you know, your time is gone, right?
You're not going to get it back.
It's gone.
It just evaporates.
And see, the Bible says, teach us to number our days so that we may apply our hearts onto
wisdom.
Because I'll tell you what, you don't live as many days as you think.
I remember my friends and I in college, we took that very literally.
Number our days.
Now, we were optimistic and we said, I'll live to be 120 years old, right?
That's about the cap you can make it.
And so we wrote down how many days there were and we're like, man, that's not as many days
as I thought.
And you waste your time.
It's gone.
You're never going to get back.
And if you waste your time during a day, it's gone.
And there's so many things in today's world to waste your time on.
You can go to YouTube and be entertained for hours wasting your life day after day after
day, right?
Redeem your time.
Proverbs 6 verse 6, go to the ant thou sluggard, consider her ways and be wise.
See, the Bible talks about the ants being a very wise insect, a very wise animal, right?
A very wise insect.
And the reason why is because ants work hard.
You're never going to find ants just kind of hanging out, right?
They're just hanging out, watching the documentary with us or whatever, but no, I mean, they're
always running around.
They're either picking up food or they're running around.
I mean, they're always moving, right?
Now, there are insects that are very lazy and they just kind of sit there doing nothing,
but you're never going to find an ant do that.
I mean, they are always working hard.
They're always moving, right?
Go to the ant thou sluggard, consider her ways and be wise.
You say, Brother Stuckey, why does it say her ways?
Because worker ants are female.
The Bible knew this thousands of years ago.
Worker ants are female.
And so the Bible is very specific.
Consider her ways.
Oh, the Bible's not scientific.
It sounds like a lot more scientific than science here today.
I mean, thousands of years ago, the Bible knew that, that worker ants are female, right?
Consider her ways and be wise, which having no guide, overseer or ruler, provided her
meat in the summer and gathered her food in the harvest.
And see, the Bible's saying this.
The ants don't really have an overseer that has to tell them what to do.
Like it's in the morning and you have your morning meeting, right?
You go to work at some of your jobs and sometimes you have jobs where you have a morning meeting
or a weekly meeting, like 10 minutes to go over, here are your tasks or monthly meeting
or whatever.
The Bible's saying the ants don't really have that.
They don't have somebody watching what they do.
And look, there's plenty of other ants providing the food.
They could just sit there and do nothing, but you know what?
They actually work.
They don't need somebody telling them, hey, get to work.
They just do it, right?
Consider her ways and be wise.
Verse nine, how long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard?
When wilt thou arise out of thy sleep, yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little
folding of the hands of sleep, so shall thy poverty come as one that travelth, and I want
as an armored man.
The Bible's saying if you are lazy, you're going to be someone who's just kind of traveling
around, no money, you don't know what to do, as an armored man, the Bible says, okay?
Now I want you to realize something that when we're preaching a sermon on fathers and mothers,
the biblical example, the model of a family is the wife to stay home with the kids and
the husbands to bring home the bacon.
Now I understand it's not like that in every situation.
I'm not saying that there's never a place for ladies to work.
I've talked about that with Proverbs 31, but I'm just saying for the sake of the sermon,
as I'm really kind of describing the roles the Bible mentions, I'm going to really focus
on that, okay?
And the Bible's talking about the men here providing.
This is what you should do.
Otherwise, you're going to be as an armored man, the Bible says, okay?
Now go to Proverbs 8, Proverbs 8, Proverbs 8.
And let me make some applications to what I just talked about, okay?
Here's what I'm saying by redeem your time.
In your life, there are certain things that you must do every week and every day, right?
You work a job, you have certain hours that you clock in that you must work those hours.
You've got to sleep, you've got to eat.
There's various household things you have to do.
You got to fix things that break down, certain things that you need to get done, okay?
Then there's other things where you don't really need to do it.
I mean, you could survive a week without being on Facebook.
Now I'm not saying it's a sin to be on Facebook because that's not what the Bible teaches.
But here's what I'm saying.
You could survive without it, but you can't survive without eating for a week.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
There are certain things you must get done and they're not necessarily spiritual things,
but they're necessary things that must be done, okay?
Now hopefully as a Christian, reading the Bible is one of those things.
Hopefully as a Christian, praying is one of those things.
Hopefully you're here on a Sunday, going to church is one of those things.
And the reality is you've got to fit your schedule around those necessary things.
You got to get those things done in addition to your work and stuff like that.
Here's what I'm saying.
If your job starts at 8 a.m. and you wake up at 6 a.m. and at 7.15 you leave for work,
here's what you don't do.
You don't sit around and do nothing for an hour.
And then all of a sudden you come home, it's like, oh man, I didn't get a chance to read
the Bible, I have no time for my wife, I have no time for my kids, there's just not enough
time in the day.
No, no, you're just wasting your time.
You're not redeeming the time you have.
It's like when you wake up in the morning, don't just sit there and say, well, I'm just
going to kind of goof off and I'll get started with my work later on.
What about the necessary things that you could be getting done now so you can come home and
spend time with your family?
Ask yourself this question.
How much time do you waste on your phone and on your computer and on Facebook and on social
media every day?
And I'll tell you what, you need to redeem the time when you have it because then necessary
things are going to be there and you're not going to have any time left to do things that
are actually important.
I get it, there's things that you have to get done.
But you know what, oftentimes you can get those things done early.
Don't waste your time.
And I'll tell you what, notice what it says in Proverbs 8.
Proverbs 8 verse 17, Proverbs 8 verse 17, I love them that love me and those that seek
me early shall find me.
Those that seek me early shall find me.
Now, you know, if you want to think of certain things, certain traits and attributes of godly
people in the Bible, one thing you will always see come up is they rose up early in the morning,
early in the morning, early in the morning, early in the morning.
I mean, Moses over and over.
He's like, why does the Bible keep telling us he rose up early in the morning?
Because I mean, some people are rising up at oh, it's 10am, I just woke up.
We're going to knock on a door here today, someone, oh, man, I was sleeping.
Had a long night, right?
I didn't get to bed till four in the morning.
So what were you doing?
Right?
Here's the reality.
You accomplish more early than you do late, with very, very, very little exception.
I'm not saying that, hey, and look, I understand people have different work schedules.
And if you work at, you know, a mid shift, and that's going to change your time.
Here's what I'm saying that you know what you accomplish stuff when there's no distractions.
You wake up early, do your Bible reading, do your prayer, do the necessary things.
Because you know what, there's going to be distractions later on during the day.
Rise up early in the morning.
Okay, now go to Proverbs 31, Proverbs 31, Proverbs 31.
So here's the thing.
Try to get as much stuff done before you go to work.
And when you can come home, you have free time, okay?
We understand every one of us, we get lazy from time to time and waste our time.
But you know, when you do that, you're going to regret it because that time's just gone.
Right?
And then you're not going to get it back.
Okay.
But let me also spend some time talking about this because, you know, honestly, our world's
a lot different.
Now, many people, they don't go to work anymore.
They stay home and their jobs at home, right?
You know, a lot of people, they're working remotely.
They're working at home most of the time.
And so this is kind of a different thing than in the past, because it used to be to have
outdoor jobs, and you'd be working all the time outside.
Now a lot of jobs are on the computers.
And given the last year, a lot of workers said, hey, just stay home, stay at your houses
and a lot of people work from their home.
Okay, when it comes to this aspect of redeeming your time, this is really a team effort between
husband and wife.
Because here's the thing, there's a temptation if the husband is staying home to distract
him and have him help you with all of these different things that he would not be able
to help you with if he was working outside of the home.
But realize what are the responsibilities the Bible gives?
The husband is to support and provide financially for the family.
Look, wives, don't make that hard on your husband.
Don't drag out his eight hour day into 12 hours.
Okay.
Look, guys, it is okay to say amen, right?
I know you don't want to be the one to say amen.
It's like, okay, but look, don't drag out your husband's work from eight hours to 12
hours by having him do all of these things like, oh, change the diaper, do the dishes,
your home, can you do this and this?
That's not his job.
It's not his role.
Now, look, I'm not saying it's wrong for the husband to help with stuff.
But look, the Bible has different roles.
And look, if you are a stay at home mom, that is your job.
If you don't work a secular job, that is your job.
If the husband's the sole provider for the family, his job is to be the provider for
the family.
And if the wife is a stay at home mom, don't fight against that role.
Embrace what the Bible says.
This is what the Bible teaches.
And I'll tell you what, if you're working online, that job can be dragged out because
of so many distractions.
Okay.
And here's what's going to end up taking place.
The husband's going to be busy all day.
He's not going to have any time for the family.
Wouldn't it be better for him just to work hard for eight and nine hours and then he
has free time to spend with the family?
I saw this video once.
I can't remember if it was CNN or one of these news stations.
And look, I understand.
It's difficult, right?
There are going to be distractions if you work at home.
There's no way to completely avoid this.
There's like this interview this guy was doing.
He was like a very high level person.
I'm sure he makes a lot of money.
It was during the pandemic at the beginning.
And they were asking him to forecast what was going to happen the rest of the year.
And he's like going.
It's from another country.
He's doing this interview.
Very famous guy.
And all of a sudden he's doing this interview.
And in the back corner, you see like one of his kids comes in the room screaming.
It's like it's in front of like millions of people.
They're watching this.
And you see the wife and she dives in the room and she doesn't want to be seen but her
head seen.
She's trying to grab the child.
And then you see the other child crawl into the room like there's like another baby.
And then all of a sudden like it's really awkward.
The person interviewing is just like they don't know what to say and everything like
that.
And it was just it was like for 45 seconds.
Look, those things are going to happen when you have kids.
It's reality.
But you know what?
You want to try to avoid it the best you possibly can.
Okay, why?
Because you want your husband to get done with everything and to redeem the time.
Don't make it hard on him to redeem the time.
Help him out so he can spend time with the family.
Okay.
Proverbs 31.
So point number one or part one of the time is to redeem the time.
Don't waste your time.
Get your stuff done.
And look, here's the thing.
If you work an online sort of job and there's this much work you have to do, there's a temptation
to work for 30 minutes, take a 10 minute break, 30 minutes, oh, what's this video, 30 minutes.
And it's like, but you know what, you're wasting your time.
And if you would add up all that time, I mean, you could have had time to learn to
play an instrument, to spend time with family, to work on your slam dunks for today's game.
I mean, whatever, right?
It's like, don't waste all the time that God has given you.
And here's what I believe.
If you use your time wisely, God will give you more time.
But if you waste the time God gives you, why is he going to give you more time when you're
just going to waste it?
It's like, oh, yeah, there's this joke.
I don't support watching Hollywood movies, but I just remember this joke from a movie
like 30 years ago, Dumb and Dumber with Jim Carrey.
And they're like going out to get a job and everything's coming back.
Oh, it's so frustrating.
He's like, man, it's like, you can't get a job in this town unless you're willing to
work 40 hours a week.
It's like, oh, it's so many hours, 40 hours to work.
It's like, good night.
In the Bible times, they're working 72 hours, six days a week, sun up to sun down, 72 hours,
no modern conveniences, difficult life.
And they found a way to make it right in today's world.
People are lazy.
That's a fact.
People are lazy.
Okay.
Number one, redeem the time.
When you do have free time, use it.
Don't just waste it.
And then later on, oh, I'm so busy.
I don't have time to read the Bible.
You probably have time in the morning when you're catching up on Facebook, okay?
But spend time with your family then.
Redeem your time that you have so you can spend time with your family.
Proverbs 31 verse 18.
Now this is in reference to the lady, but it's kind of a dual application you have to
make to understand this, okay?
Proverbs 31 verse 18.
She perceiveth that her merchandise is good.
Her candle goeth not out by night.
As I've talked about before, basically when the husband gets home at 6 p.m., right?
At nighttime, she doesn't just turn off her candle and say, well, I'm done.
It's my husband's job to feed the kids and clean the diapers and do all the dishes and
everything like that.
No, no, no.
She still works hard even when her husband's home.
But realize the same application goes to the husband as well.
When you get off work, don't just be a lazy person.
You redeem the time early and when you have time, you need to spend time with your kids.
You say, Brother Stuckey, but I've got to watch like four sermons every day.
If you've got a good church, tell me why you have to listen to four hours of preaching
to be fed.
I mean, I'll tell you what, I understand what it's like when you go to churches that aren't
the greatest church in the world, but you're just fulfilling what God has for you and everything.
And it can be frustrating.
You don't learn.
But look, if you're going to come up to me and tell me, I've never learned anything at
Verity Baptist Church, Manila.
I've never learned anything from Brother Stuckey's sermon.
Are you sleeping during the sermons?
I'm not trying to be arrogant.
I'm just saying we use a lot of Bible.
I'm just saying that, you know, when the Bible's open and it's explained, you're going to learn.
I'm saying a lot of the stuff I preach, I learn when I'm preparing my sermon.
So don't tell me that you can't learn in this church.
If you're already learning a lot, guess what?
There's better things to do with your time than just sit around for hours and hours and
hours and hours and listen to preaching.
I'm not saying it's a sin.
I'm not saying I never listen to any preaching.
But I am saying that as a husband, you are called to spend time with your wife and kids
above listening to extra preaching on the side.
If you get a chance, go for it.
It's great.
But you know what?
You're required, according to the Bible, to love your family and spend time with them.
Turn to Proverbs three, Proverbs chapter three, Proverbs three, Proverbs three.
I mean, do you realize how much your kids want to spend time with you?
To you, it feels like a burden sometimes.
Oh, I'm so tired.
But you know what?
Your kids will always want to spend time with you.
Every single Saturday, I walk in, I've been gone all day in Pampanga, and all of a sudden
open the door, it's daddy.
Every single time.
You say, why?
My kids miss me all day long.
They wanted to spend time with me.
Look, I played sports my entire life growing up.
I played competitive tournaments and traveled around.
But you know, I'll tell you what.
You know what I remember about playing sports?
I remember getting done with dinner and then my dad saying, hey, son, let's go outside
and throw baseball together.
I remember my dad throwing football with me.
I remember kicking a soccer ball with my dad.
I remember shooting a basketball with my dad.
Those are the memories I have.
I played in tournaments and that was fun and everything, but you know what was more valuable
to me now that I'm an adult.
I remember, man, my dad really took time out of his schedule to play with me.
I've mentioned this in sermons before that, you know, in Bridgeport, West Virginia, where
I grew up every single Saturday that was not the winter time when there's snow on the ground,
my dad every single Saturday took me out to the park to play sports every single Saturday
without exception.
Now when you're a kid, you don't realize, man, my dad's probably tired from working
overtime during the week, right?
You don't think about how busy life actually is.
I understand it now.
I'm thinking, man, my dad really spent a lot of time with me every single Saturday.
But you know what?
I don't remember seeing a lot of parents out there with their kids when I was a kid.
Now there's nothing spiritual about shooting a basketball, but it's just a matter of spending
time with your father and your kids are going to remember the time they spent with you.
Even if it's not a fancy vacation, even if it's not something that costs a lot of money,
they just want to spend time with you, okay?
And so make sure you make time for your kids.
Don't waste your time.
Point number one, control your temper.
Point number two, your time.
Redeem the time you have and spend time with your family.
And here's the reality.
You know what?
The things that you care about, you make time for.
Things you care about.
You can sit here all you want and say, hey, I love this and I love that, but actions speak
louder than words.
And love implies action in the Bible.
And if you never have time for any of your children, what you're teaching your children
is you're just not that important.
That's reality, okay?
Love implies action and what you spend time on, that's what you care about.
Think about the hobbies you do.
Think about the hobbies you have.
You spend certain time on those hobbies because you enjoy it.
We have people at our church that are very musically talented.
They didn't just get born with the ability to play the piano and the guitar, right?
They had to learn those things.
And they enjoyed it, obviously, because the things that you enjoy are things that you
do.
Now, it took a lot of hard work, but I want you to realize it doesn't just happen by osmosis.
Just magically it happens.
It takes work to do that.
And whatever you care about, you're going to spend time on, okay?
Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
What you invest your time into is what you care about.
And here's the thing.
If all your time is invested into watching these YouTube videos, what you're teaching
your family is that you care about that more than them.
You're teaching your kids, I care more about my cell phone than you.
I care more about my computer.
I care more about these movies than you, okay?
Proverbs chapter three, point number one, your temper.
Point number two, your time.
Point number three, training.
It is our job as fathers to train our children.
Proverbs three, verse 11.
My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, neither be weary of his correction.
For whom the Lord loveth, he correcteth.
You know, we ought to be happy when God disciplines us when we mess up.
Because, you know, discipline puts you back on the right course.
I mean, that's really what brings you back.
All of a sudden you start having problems in your life and you know God is correcting
me right now.
It's like, okay, I'm sorry, God.
And you get back into the will of God.
Don't be upset because God is showing he loves you when he does that.
If he didn't love you, he lets you go out and do whatever with no consequences.
But he loves you.
He cares about you.
For whom the Lord loveth, he correcteth, even as a father of the son in whom he delighteth.
The Bible says that if you love your child, you will correct them.
You say, why does it say that?
Because spanking doesn't seem very loving to me.
You've been listening to the world a little bit too much, my friends.
Because here's the reality.
Spanking takes time.
Takes effort.
You know what doesn't take effort?
Your kid starts crying.
Hey, eat this candy.
That's pretty easy to do.
You know what you're showing?
You're showing that you don't care enough about your child to spend the time necessary.
Look, if every time your child cries, every single time, just give them what they want.
Give them the candy.
Let them watch whatever they want.
Be prepared to do that their entire life.
It's not going to change when they turn three, four, five, six, seven, because you have been
showing them that every time they cry, they get what they want.
And you know what?
You're going to raise a brat.
You see kids in today's world, I've literally seen kids that have slapped their parents
in public.
I'm talking about like seven or eight year olds, like at a doctor's office.
I remember one time in Sacramento, California, this kid was screaming and everything like
seven or eight years old and then slapped the mom in public.
And I made a joke to my wife.
Should I go over there and spank this kid for her?
I mean, I felt bad for that woman, but it's just like, what are you doing?
It's like God actually provided a discipline system.
But here's the thing, if you've always just been giving that kid what they want, every
time they start crying, hey, watch this because I don't want to hear your crying.
So just watch this.
Just eat this candy.
You know what?
You're destroying those children's lives.
And if you delight and love that child, you will spend the time necessary to correct them.
Now what that means is you do it in love and not with your temper, like we talked about
in anger, meaning you go to a private quiet place, you spank your child, you hug them,
you say you love them, and you explain what they did wrong.
Now look, anyone who's been at our church, everybody knows I spank my children when they
act up.
But I don't do it in front of people.
I don't want to embarrass my child.
I try to go to a quiet place and explain what they did and explain what they did what was
wrong.
Right?
And you do it out of love.
You don't do it with a temper and just lose your kids.
You're trying to correct them and help them understand.
And look, kids are makalit.
It's going to take them time.
Every child is going to be like that.
But you know, it's our job as parents to correct them when necessary.
And if you love them, you're going to spend that extra time to do it rather than just
always give them what they want.
Okay, verse 13, Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding.
Now, it's interesting.
This is right after these verses, because what the Bible is trying to show you is this,
that with a child, and the Bible shows this in other places, they learn instruction through
the spanking that provides wisdom toward that child.
Okay, I want you to realize spanking your child is not just to get them to be quiet.
It's because you're trying to teach them and they can learn what they did that was wrong.
Okay, it actually provides instruction to that child.
Right?
Go to Genesis 14.
Genesis 14.
The Bible says he that spareth his rod hateth his son.
So according to the Bible, if you love your children, you will spank them when necessary.
Why is that?
Because it takes time.
And the easy thing to do is just give them what they want.
Prepare to ruin that child's life.
The easy way is always the wrong way.
Right?
I mean, don't don't try to make life too easy for yourself.
I just want it to be really easy and no problems and no stress, just quiet all the time and
everything's great.
Look, you know, you're going to ruin the life of your children if you try to make your life
too easy.
The difficult way is usually the right way.
Where are we?
We're at Genesis 14, right?
So when it comes to training, correct your child when they mess up, but also provide
practical skills for your children at a young age.
They don't know everything that you know.
Give them practical skills.
Prepare them for life.
Notice what it says in Genesis 14 verse 11, and they took all the goods of Sodom and Gomorrah
and all their victuals and went their way.
And they took Lot, Abram's brother's son, who dwelt in Sodom and his goods and departed.
And there came one that escaped and told Abram the Hebrew, for he dwelt in the plain of Mamre,
the Amorite, brother of Eschol and brother of Anar, and these were confederate with Abraham.
Verse 14, and when Abram heard that his brother was taken captive, notice this phrase, he
armed his trained servants.
Now when they were taken captive, does it say that he started to train his servants?
No, no, no, they were already trained.
He armed his trained servants, right?
It's kind of like when we go soul winning.
We go soul winning.
Hey, take your invitations, take your Bible.
You're already trained.
You're already prepared.
Just take up your arms and go.
Get some people saved, right?
There's good symbolism there with soul winning that you can use.
They were already trained.
They were already ready.
Why?
Because before they needed to be ready for the battle, they were prepared ahead of time.
And look, I want you to realize in life, it's not easy.
It's difficult.
It's difficult to make it in this world.
And your job is to prepare your children so when they grow up, they're ready for it.
Look, it's tough to make it financially in today's world.
It's tough to make it spiritually in today's world and serve God.
You need to prepare them because one day you can't keep spoon feeding them.
They've got to be old enough to make it in life by themselves.
Okay, prepare them ahead of time.
He armed his trained servants born in his own house, 318 and pursued them on to Dan.
Now go to Joshua 24.
Joshua 24.
What are some examples of this?
How about you help your kids, specifically your sons, but help your kids figure out what
they want to do with their life before they're an adult.
Instead of, oh man, I'm 22 years old.
Now I got to figure out what am I going to do with my life?
Help them out when they're growing up.
Find out what they're good at.
Find out what they have interests at.
Give them a chance to kind of maybe test out that working field and figure out, hey, is
this what you want to do?
Maybe when they're 16, 17, 18 years old, they know, hey, this is my plan.
This is my direction.
They've already learned the practical skills necessary and they're ready to go.
Instead of just, they try to find it somewhere and just figure it out.
No, just prepare them ahead of time.
Look, it's going to help your kids out on a job interview.
I don't know all the different job interviews.
I don't know the questions they ask.
I know for job interviews for me, it's like, hey, how do you do a VLOOKUP function?
Those were the sorts of interviews I would have, like from Microsoft Excel.
Here's the thing.
If your child is going to go into a technical, mathematical sort of field, why not teach
your kids that early in life, especially if you're homeschooling them?
Teach them how to use the programs they need, because I'll tell you what, on a job interview,
if you know how to use Microsoft Excel and SQL, you've got the job over everybody with
the same degree.
Instead of just, oh man, I'll just figure out one day.
Look, it's tough to make it in today's world.
Give yourself an advantage.
Learn the practical skills ahead of time, not just, oh man, my son knows how to beat
Super Mario Brothers faster than anybody else.
What video games are out now?
Super Mario Brothers is no longer out, right?
That's probably, you know, 25 years ago.
I don't know what's out now.
You know, Halo.
Is that a long time ago too?
Whatever's popular, right?
It's like, oh man, my son, what's that computer game that everybody, what's that called?
Come on.
There's that game everybody plays and everybody posts about.
I don't know what it's called, but Mobile Legends, it's like, man, your job, I can be
Mobile Legends faster than anybody else, right?
It's like, that's not going to help you get the job.
It's like, prepare yourself in life ahead of time, okay?
And I'll tell you what, if you try to just do what the world does, because that's what
everybody else is doing, you're going to destroy your life.
Life is not about fun and games, and you know what, it's best for your kids to learn that
at a young age.
And look, I'm all for kids having fun and then playing and stuff like that, but look,
if you never teach your kids responsibility, they're in for a rude awakening one day.
This is one of the advantages.
I mean, I was homeschooled starting in middle school, so I know what it's like to be in
public school.
I know what it's like to be homeschooled, okay?
I'll tell you what, there's a lot of advantages when you're homeschooled of getting to prepare
yourself ahead of time, right?
I mean, I remember just when I was in school, when I was homeschooled, I'd have the stuff
I had to do for my coursework, and some subjects, like math, I got done early, so it's just
like I just advanced myself, right?
Because math I was pretty good at, so I was able to just go ahead of time.
You're able to learn those skills ahead of time.
Don't just have your kids always wasting their time, and never learn any practical skills,
because look, life is difficult.
Give yourself an advantage.
Learn those skills ahead of time, Joshua 24.
But the biggest thing is, obviously, teach your kids to be godly.
Teach your kids to love God, Joshua 24, verse 14.
Now therefore, fear the Lord, and serve him in sincerity and in truth, and put away the
gods which your father served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt, and serve
you the Lord.
And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve,
whether the gods which your father served that were on the other side of the flood,
or the gods of the Amorites in whose land ye dwell.
But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
Now, this is a very famous verse.
I mean, people that don't serve God at all love to put this on their houses.
Our house is going to serve God.
And look, praise the Lord if that's true, okay?
But this was in the heart of Joshua, he said, my house is going to serve God.
What does that practically mean?
It means it's not just you that's serving God, but your wife's also reading the Bible.
Your wife's also doing the nine chapters a day challenge in the month of January.
Your whole family's going soul winning, not just you.
Look, as a husband, it's your job to make sure your family is serving God.
Make sure your family, your wife, and your kids, look, they're reading the Bible.
They're going soul winning.
Here's the thing about this.
Kids model what their parents do, right?
If the family's going out soul winning, the kids will learn to love soul winning.
What do you want your kids to end up loving?
You know what I loved when I was a kid?
I loved soccer.
There's nothing sinful about soccer, but there's nothing spiritual about soccer either.
I want my kids to love soul winning.
There's your S's right there.
There's the alliterated sermon, right?
Not soccer, but soul winning, right?
It's like, teach your kids to love soul winning and love the word of God, okay?
And they will model what the parents do.
So as a husband, make sure your whole family is serving God.
Make sure your whole family is soul winning.
Now look, it's difficult.
It's very difficult to take a whole family soul winning.
I mean, I'm telling you, I'm starting to learn, you know, so much more respect for all the
families at Verity that have like five and six kids, and they're taking them all out.
It's like, man, it's tough.
It's like we only have two kids right now, and it is difficult to take them out, right?
Because inevitably, you go out soul winning, you forgot to bring water, so one of the kids
is crying, and you're holding the child.
It's like, man, you get back.
My back's sore.
It's like, man, it's like, yeah, it's not easy, but I'll tell you what.
You're teaching those kids what's important to you, and they will end up loving and serving
God.
Look, as a husband, it's your job to make sure your families are spiritual, that your
families love the word of God, okay?
Not just you.
Go to Deuteronomy chapter six, Deuteronomy chapter six, Deuteronomy chapter six.
Now, look, I'm preaching on the fathers, but next week, I'm preaching on the mothers.
Now, let me give you a bit of a sneak peek on next week's sermon, though, and I'm going
to kind of merge what I just said to next week's sermon.
Hey, husbands, it's your job to make sure your wives are not gossiping in the mother-baby
room, and they're putting away their cell phones and paying attention and taking notes,
which means you should probably ask them on Sunday night, hey, how'd you like the sermon?
And then they don't know anything that was preached.
It's like, man, something's wrong, my friend.
It's just like, you know, when the cat's away, the mice will play, hey, you know, ladies,
why not be spiritual and in the mother-baby room?
It's not time to goof off, and you set a good example for visitors at our church.
And look, I've preached this before, and I, you know what, I don't think I should have
to keep preaching, but look, if you're in the mother-baby room, pay attention.
By the way, it's still for moms, not for singles, nothing's changed, right?
It's the mother-baby room.
And look, it is tough to raise kids, and look, you singles make it hard on the moms to raise
those kids when they're trying to discipline and teach and train those kids, and it's just
hanging out, just goofing off, you're making it hard on the moms.
That's reality, okay?
Look, it's not a goof off place.
It is meant to be taken the Word of God's.
I mean, why do we have a TV if people aren't gonna pay attention in there?
It's not to hang out, it's to pay attention, okay?
Deuteronomy chapter six, Deuteronomy six.
And look, there are women that want to hear the sermons that are in the mother-baby room
because they have to from time to time, it is unfair to other ladies in that room that
are trying to pay attention and take notes, and you're gossiping the whole time.
That is unfair to women that want to hear the Word of God.
Deuteronomy chapter six, Deuteronomy six, you say, brother Stuckey, you sound really
mad.
No, no, no, no.
If I was really mad, I would have preached it weeks ago when it didn't relate to the
sermon.
I've just been waiting, you know, calmly waiting to apply it to this fundamental family series,
but let me tell you something.
The mother-baby room is meant to train those children to be prepared to sit through the
services.
And I'll tell you what, it's difficult to be a parent.
And I know before you have kids, it's really easy, right?
If you don't have kids, it's really easy to be a mom, it's really easy to be a dad.
Look, it's not.
It's hard.
And you're making it hard on the ladies that are trying to train their kids when it becomes
a hangout and a gossip place.
Deuteronomy chapter six, verse six, and these words, which I command thee this day shall
be in thine hearts and now shall teach them diligently onto thy children and shall talk
of them when thou sittest in thine house and when thou walkest by the way and when thou
liest down and when thou risest up.
See, the Bible says here, we should diligently be teaching our children the word of God.
When we're sitting down, when we're standing, when we're walking, when we're lying down,
when we're rising up at all times.
And what that means is you're always prepared to teach the word of God.
Now look, it always takes time to teach the word of God, but here's a practical application.
We go out soul winning later today.
Let's say you're going with your child and then all of a sudden you go to this house
and then all of a sudden they're drinking, right?
And there's just booze everywhere and the smell is terrible.
Hey, spend a minute to teach your kids about the evils of alcohol.
Hey, this is why the Bible says not to drink, right?
Spend time.
Teachable moments.
And when you run into teachable moments in life, don't waste those moments.
Use those moments, okay, to teach and train your children and prepare them for life, okay?
Be ready to do it at all times, okay?
And look, you know what?
You should enjoy teaching your kids the word of God.
That should be the number one thing you want to teach and train your kids.
Absolutely teach practical skills, but the number one thing is to teach your kids to
be godly.
So what are we talking about here today?
Three points.
Don't lose your temper with your kids.
Don't always scream at them and yell at them, look, they're kids.
They're going to make mistakes.
They're going to do things wrong.
And look, when they mess up, don't just say, no, I'm just going to do it myself.
You know, give them a chance to mess up.
And yeah, it takes some time, but you know, that is how they learn trial and error.
That's how everybody learns everything.
Give them a chance, right?
You know, number one, we talk about, let me pull up my notes.
What do we have?
Your temper.
Number two, your time.
Redeem your time and then spend time with the kids.
And lastly, train your children.
Be ready at all times.
Let's close in a word of prayer.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for allowing us to be here today and getting to see your
word and help all of us in this room, both fathers and moms.
Help us to be good fathers.
Help us to be good moms.
Help us to love our children.
It is difficult in today's world.
Help us as a church to partner with these parents, to try to help them and not criticize
and not make it difficult on them, but actually partner with them, God.
Help all of us to raise kids that love you and help the next generation do greater works
than we could even imagine.
We pray this in Jesus' name.
Amen.