All right, we're here in Genesis chapter 2 and we're gonna continue our series on fundamental family tips and last week sermon
You know, I gave you a heads up. It's probably gonna be the roughest sermon I've ever preached but quite honestly the rest of the series
It's really not gonna be sermons that are really necessarily stepping on your toes
But just things that will be very helpful for us in whatever stage we're in and today's sermon is on marriage
Okay, fundamental family tips on marriage now. Look I've been married six years. So we're just talking about the basics
I'm still learning. I'm not claiming to be an expert on marriage, but I will tell you what
It's the fundamentals that make you great at anything, right?
It's being good at the basics
Like if you want to find the greatest basketball players in the world
They can shoot they can dribble doesn't mean they can do the fanciest crazy moves
But can they do the basics and if you get good at the basics in life, you're gonna be very successful
That is reality
So we're gonna hit the basics of what the Bible teaches on this and if we apply these to our lives
It will help us that are married to have a good marriage. Now you say brother Stuckey. I'm not married in this room
Well, I mean one day you might be married though, right many of you one day
You're planning to get married and it's good to know these things ahead of time to prepare and also to know what you're looking for
Okay, whenever the Word of God is opened we can learn God's Word has power
All Scripture is given by inspiration of God
so during this sermon series these sermons are specific to certain things and
Some of them might not directly apply to you, but any time the Word of God is open we can learn
Okay, so when it comes to fundamental family tips with marriage
Point number one when you get married the Bible teaches there is a cleaving
Okay, you get married and you cleave on to your spouse
Genesis 2 verse 21 and the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept and he took one of his ribs
And closed up the flesh instead thereof and the rib which the Lord God had taken from man made
He a woman and brought her onto the man
So literally the woman is taken from the man verse 23 and Adam said this is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man notice verse 24
Therefore whenever you see the word therefore it is connecting what was just said with what's about to be said
Right because of this
this
Therefore verse 24 shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave on to his wife
And they shall be one flesh see the Bible says that when you get married you cleave on to your spouse
Right men leave father and mother cleave on to their wife
Women leave father and mother they cleave on to their husband which means the number one most important
Relationship in your life if you're married is with your spouse. It's number one
It's above your friends at work. It's above your co-workers
You know it's the number one relationship is with a person you are married to you become one flesh
Okay, turn to Judges 19 Judges 19
Judges chapter 19
And so look there are many ways that that we need to apply this as parents
Okay, an example of this is when you have kids right you know the other day my son
Handed me like a container of Oreos and what he's saying is dad
Can you please open these Oreos because I want to have this cookie right and I'm thinking man if I wasn't on this diet
Then I would open those and eat those cookies
But my son handed it to me. He wanted me to give them to him well my son hadn't eaten anything healthy
So I said no you can't have the cookies
So what does a two and a half year old do they hand those same cookies to mom?
Right the little kids try to pit mom and dad against each other well
Here's the thing I had already made the decision okay, so since I made that decision. What should the wife do?
Be on board with what the husband decided now
Here's the thing if my wife was the one handed the cookies at first and she said no
You know what I wouldn't open the cookies either
Why because my wife is the head of my son, and I'm not gonna overrule my wife in front of my kids
You know kids need to see that mom and dad are one
They're a team and look I don't remember everything from when I was a kid
But I remember a couple times when you know I was in one room
I asked dad and he says no
What do I do I go to mom and see whether or not she's gonna be okay with it, right?
But look when you're married you become one spouse husband and wife you're together okay judges 19
And in judges 19. This is the most weird
Bizarre perverted story in the Bible we're not gonna get to the bad stuff, but this is Genesis 19 on steroids
I think judges 19 is far worse than Genesis 19
okay, but I want you to realize in this story what we're gonna see is we're gonna see a man and a
Woman that are married that need to apply this of cleaving on to their spouse, okay?
And one thing that can separate this is sometimes parents right when you get married
It says as guys you leave father and mother and cleave under your wife, and you two become one flesh
Here's the thing as a married person
I love my parents you know my parents were great parents, and you know on most things
I would agree with them, but there are gonna be some things with raising my children
Which I'm gonna have a different opinion than my parents
Right with a new family of husband and wife the husband and the wife need to make those decisions
Oftentimes people allow their parents to make the decisions for them
Okay, and look your parents have your best interest in heart
They love you they care about you
But you need to realize when you get married to become one flesh
And that is the number one most important relationship an example. This is in Judges 19 Judges 19 verse 1 and
It came to pass in those days
When there was no king in Israel that there was a certain Levite's adjoining on the side of Mount Ephraim who took to him a
concubine out of Bethlehem Judah and his concubine played the whore against him and went away from him under her father's house to Bethlehem
Judah and was there four whole months, okay?
Now I want to take a couple minutes to explain what a concubine is because it's gonna help you understand this story
There's a lot of different opinions. What is a concubine some people and here's the thing if you look this up online with dictionaries
There's a lot of different definitions, and they contradict one another whenever we believe anything. How do we determine it? What does the Bible say?
Some people think this is a living girlfriend some people think it's husband and wife. There's a lot of different opinions
Well, what does verse 3 say and her husband arose?
Does it sound like they're married and
Her husband arose. I mean plain as day. They're married her husband arose
Okay, these two people are married you say I don't know brother Stuckey. What does verse 4 say and his father-in-law?
They're married right clear as day
They're married and we could tell that from verse 2 because think about this if they're just living together
Living girlfriend and boyfriend and she cheats on him and leaves for four months. He's not going after her. It's done
It's over but these two are actually married to one another that's what it says in verse 3 and 4 her
Husband verse 4 his father-in-law now realize during this time period they didn't have cell phones
Right. I mean if your wife leaves for four months, it's going to take effort to track them down
Realize this man. He has a job to make money
I mean money's not just raining from the sky and when you read these stories
You got to think about it his vacation for the year is going after his wife
His vacation is going after his concubine to bring her back. You say brother Stuckey if this is his wife
Why does it say concubine? Well, look up concubine every time in the Bible. What is a concubine?
It's a specific type of wife. It is a bond servant that becomes your wife
Right throughout the Bible Hagar was the wife of Abraham according the Bible, but it also says this is concubine
She was a servant from Egypt. What about Jacob?
He had four wives the Bible says Billa, Zilpah, Leah and Rachel. Billa and Zilpah were concubine wives
It's a specific type of wife. Okay, we see that here in Judges 19. You say why is that important?
It's important to understand this story because as you read Judges 19 this man loves this woman
You say what's the proof? He went after her
She's left him. She cheated on him for four months. He went after her
There's proof that he actually loves her. He actually cares about her. So he goes after this woman
Okay, now read verse 2 and his concubine played the whore against him
Okay, so here's a woman that cheats on her husband. She plays the whore against her husband
Okay, then it says this and went away from him under her father's house to Bethlehem Judah and was there four whole months
So she cheats on him then she goes home to dad
Isn't that what we see in the story?
She plays the whore against him and then she leaves him and goes to be with dad
Now we don't know the source of these marriage problems. It doesn't give us all that information
I don't know whether he's mean or what happened. We don't know why she cheated against him
We don't know why she went home, but we see she's doing the opposite of cleaving under her spouse, right?
She is going to live with at least dad maybe mom and dad when there's a fight there's a problem. Okay, she's leaving him
Okay. Now look at what it says in verse
verse 5 verse 5 and
It came to pass on actually, let me go to verse 3
Let me read that to you verse 3 and her husband arose and went after her and notice this to speak friendly onto her
He loves her he cares about her is a man who has control of his emotions because he's trying to restore this marriage
He speaks friendly onto her. Okay, he doesn't get there and just scream in her face. It's not a smart strategy
He speaks friendly onto her the Bible says and to bring her again
Having his servant with him and a couple of asses and she brought him into her father's house
And when the father of the damsel saw him he rejoiced to meet him
So the father-in-law is excited to see his son-in-law. Here's a father-in-law that likes his son-in-law
He wants that relationship to work. He's excited. Yes
You know what? My daughter acted like a fool, but my son-in-law he's coming here. This is good
He likes him he gets along right to the best of our ability as people we get married
We should try to get along with her in-laws, right? I'm not sitting up here saying hey you get married
Never talk to them leave don't tell them where you live. That's that's foolish. You should try to get along
I get along with my in-laws. My wife gets along with her in-laws, you know our families they get along
Okay, and that is a good thing if possible
Verse number four and his father-in-law the damsel's father retained him which means he kept him and he abode with him three days
So they did eat and drink and lodge there. So he stays for three days in this house
Okay, he's going to see his did bring back his wife. He's there at the father-in-law
The father-in-law is happy to house this man and it makes sense as this is a concubine wife
He probably thinks hey, you know, he must really love my daughter. I mean he came after her
She did all these foolish things. She left him and you what he's happy to see his son-in-law
Okay, this is not an in-law that dislikes his son-in-law. He this father-in-law likes him
Okay, verse five and it came to pass on the fourth day
So look, this is a lot of days not to be working right? There's not an online job
He could have been doing during this time period, you know, he's just on the computer doing his job
No, he's he's losing money because he's not working. This is like a vacation for him
Okay, and it came to pass on the fourth day when they arose early in the morning that he rose up to depart
So he decides you know what it's time for us to go. We got to get back home
We got to get back with our lives. We got to get back to our normal relationship and life that we had
Okay, and the damsel's father said unto his son-in-law comfort thine heart with a morsel of bread and afterward go your way
He's saying just stay around for breakfast
Eat some pandesal drink some coffee and then you can leave, you know at lunchtime or whatever
Okay
verse six and they sat down and did eat and drink both of them together for the damsel's father had said unto the man be
Content I pray thee and Terry all night and let thine heart be merry another day's gone, right?
He wakes up early to leave all of a sudden. It's the end of the day. He's like, hey just sleep over here again
Okay, just stay over here one more night. You can just leave in the morning. Okay verse number eight
and verse verse seven and when the man rose up to depart his father-in-law urged him therefore he lodged there again verse eight and he
Rose early in the morning on the fifth day to depart and the damsel's father said said comfort thine heart
I pray thee and they tarried until afternoon and they did eat both of them. So once again, he rises up early to leave
It's the afternoon now
The day is drawing towards a close and look if you're gonna be traveling somewhere you want to do it in the morning, right?
You want to get up right early in the morning the sun's up you get started and you get going
You don't want to wait till the afternoon
Okay
verse nine and when the man rose up to depart he and his
Concubine and his servant his father-in-law the damsel's father said unto him behold now the day draweth toward evening
I pray you tarry all night behold the day grows to an end
Lodge here that thine heart may be merry and tomorrow get you early on your way that thou mayest go home
So in this story saying just stay one more night and you know what?
I'm not gonna read the rest of the story
What I'm trying to show you is this that when the husband and the wife make a decision they need to agree on it together
Okay, they've made a decision. We got to go. We got to get on with our lives and look he's very smart
He comes to her speaks friendly on to her
He loves her and he's trying to bring her back and the father-in-law is a great guy
He likes him gets along with him
But if the husband the wife make a decision they need to realize we cleave together
We make our decisions in life and you know one thing that can sometimes influence that is our family
Okay, turn to Song of Solomon 1 Song of Solomon 1 Song of Solomon 1
Song of Solomon chapter one, you know one example the Bible is with Abraham now if you know the story of Abraham
Abraham's father was
Not saved. Okay, and so God specifically told Abraham. Hey separate from your father because
He's an unbeliever. He's gonna have a bad influence on you in terms of his beliefs now Abraham
He said he obeyed that well. Yeah after his dad was dead. I mean, it's not really too hard to obey once
You know, I mean, yeah, he obeyed he separated from his father
I mean after they buried father, right and so I want you to realize this that you know what especially if you're around family
That's unsaved that can be a bad influence on you when you get married
You're supposed to cleave on your wife, which means the decisions you make you do them together. What's that mean?
It means ladies if you get in a fight with your husband
You don't call up mom and say, you know what my husband's the worst guy in the world
Right because you're supposed to cleave on your spouse and settle that
Situation or if you as a guy you get in a fight with your wife and then you call up mom and dad and say man
My wife's the worst she did this you say why is that a bad idea because in a few days you're gonna forgive your spouse
But your parents are gonna hate their guts forever
Right. I mean you want to settle this together as husband and wife when you have problems. Okay, and look you say brother Stuckey
I'm gonna be married one day and I'm never gonna get in any fights
Okay
The next points on conflict is I all right. Good luck with that. It's like no conflict is part of marriage. It's reality
Okay, so I want you to realize when you have problems
It also means you don't call up your best friends at church or other people
You know and say my guy did this my husband did this he's so bad and then all of your friends are gonna say
Yeah, you're right. He's awful. Are they helping the situation?
When husband and wife have problems they need to figure it out they need to settle it
They need to talk about it alone not in front of other people and they need to get it figured out point
Number one was cleaving. Okay, and I want you to realize, you know when it comes to cleaving
I'm not saying that you can't necessarily be in the same house if you're living in different spaces
But what I'm saying is that when you get married your number one relationship is with your husband or with your wife
You cleave on your spouse
It's a more important relationship than with your mom or with your dad or with your son or with your daughter
to become one
It's a great mystery the Bible says but that's what the Bible says to become one
Okay point number one was cleaving
point two is
conflict or fights
Okay conflict. So when it comes to conflict, there's three aspects the causes of conflict
During the conflict and then the aftermath. Okay. So what are the causes of conflict?
Okay, you're in Song of Solomon chapter 1 and one of the big causes of conflict is quite simply we pass on
Problems to our spouse a guy goes to work. He has a bad day
He messes up the Excel spreadsheet accidentally saves over it messes everything up. It's a disaster
He's mad he comes home
He's he's rude to his wife and then she's rude back and then you got a fight
Right or the mom's there with the kids and just everything's a disaster, right?
I mean you've changed like 27 diapers and the kids are sick and everything's going wrong. You're in a bad mood
You're rude your husband when he comes home and there's a conflict
Okay
One of the big causes of conflict in marriage is really we allow things on the outside of our marriage
To get us to have a fight with her spouse
We're upset and then we're rude to the person that we're closest to that we have this relationship with okay now in Song of Solomon
chapter 1
We have an example of a woman these two are married and she's not having the best day
She is not in the best mood. Okay, Song of Solomon 1 verse 5
She says I am black
But comely O ye daughters of Jerusalem as the tents of Kedar as the curtains of Solomon now when she says she's black
She's not saying she's from Africa
Okay, she's saying she's black for a specific reason verse 6 look not upon me because I am black
Because the Sun hath looked upon me. She's saying I'm black
I'm darker skin because I've been outside in the Sun. It's making my skin darker. Okay now I'll be honest
This is kind of hard to understand as a guy because in the United as an American
I mean because in the US it's considered that you're more attractive if you're dark
Having Maputi skin is considered pangit. Okay, it's like everybody in the US wants to have darker skin
You say brother Saki here people want lighter skin. Yeah, people always want what they don't have
It's like instead of being thankful with what they have. They just want to be the opposite, right?
I mean in the US people literally go to tanning salons and pay a hundred bucks to be artificially tanned
So their skin isn't white. Okay, they pay money to have darker skin. You say brother Saki, man
I wish I had lighter skin. Yeah, we all want what we don't have right and so look
We ought to be happy with how God created us. Okay, the reason why her skin is darker here
She's been out in the Sun a lot. Okay. I am black because the Sun hath looked upon me
She says my mother's children were angry with me
They made me the keeper of the vineyards, but mine own vineyard have I not kept tell me oh thou
Whom I so loveth where thou feedest
Where thou makest thy flock to rest at noon for why should I be as one that turneth aside by the flocks of thy?
Companions so you can see by what she's saying. She's not really in the best mood man. I've been outside. I'm working
You know, I'm tired. I'm exhausted the Sun looked upon me and everything and then she says where's my husband?
It's noon verse 8 if thou know not this is him speaking
Oh thou fairest among women go thy way forth by the footsteps of the flock and feed thy kids beside the shepherds tents
Notice what he said in verse 8 if thou know not. Oh thou fairest among women
What's he saying? You're the most beautiful woman there is
She's saying I feel ugly. I
Mean, I'm black the Sun looked upon me. I don't feel attractive. He's like you're the fairest woman
You're the most beautiful woman you say guys you're like, you know, how do I make my wife happy if she's like
Oh, I don't feel attractive
Well, don't say yeah, you know, you're right. You don't look that good at that dress
Sorry
You know, you got to be smart
Okay, and so, you know what it says is this he says oh thou fairest among women
He responds very kindly verse 9. I have compared thee. Oh my love to a company of horses and Pharaoh's chariots
Okay, now you say brother Stuckey, why did he compare her to a horse well
You have to realize this is the daughter of the Pharaoh of Egypt. So she grew up around the most beautiful
Most expensive and greatest horses there are he's not saying you're like a horse
He's like man, you know, you're you're the greatest rhinoceros. There is you're the greatest elephant
There is he's you know, he's saying you know what you're the greatest of all the you're the greatest
You're like Pharaoh's horses cuz she grew up around the greatest horses that there were so she understands us
Now if you give your wife a compliment make sure she understands what you're talking about
Okay, but what he's telling her is she's the best. Okay, go to Proverbs 13 Proverbs 13
So that's how we need to respond if our spouse is in a bad mood and here's the reality
All of us sometimes are just not in the best mood
As husband as a husband sometimes I'm not in the best mood and I might not realize it but probably the way I respond is
Very, you know abrupt bastos or rude just not the nicest not the kindest right all of us whether we're guys or girls
Sometimes we're not in the best mood and we need to be very careful not to pass on our problems that don't have anything
To do with our spouse, but we're having a bad day and we pass it on to our marriage
Okay, Proverbs 13 verse 10 one reason is we pass on problems
Another reason though the cause of conflict is this because we just have bad attitudes
We just need to work on our character
The Bible says in Proverbs 13 verse 10 only by pride cometh contention
Only by pride cometh contention if there is a fight if there is contention
You can guarantee that at least one person is prideful
Usually
Both are prideful, but at least one person is prideful
So here's the thing you might get in arguments from time to time and maybe it's not you
But look if if all of your co-workers you fight with them
All of your church mates you fight with them all of your relatives you fight with them
It's not because well, they're Catholic and because they did no it's you right because pride is part of contention
And if you're always in fights
You're prideful
Right, it's common sense and here's the reality
The reason why we get into a lot of fights with our spouses is because we need to work on our character
It's because we have problems
That's the reason why because if we were both very spiritual husband and wife, you know what those problems would drastically go down
But only by pride cometh contention. It's our own faults. Okay turn to James 1
James 1
So we talked about the causes of conflict what about during conflict, okay the fight started
You know, you you've woke up a sleeping lion. Okay, or sleeping tiger, whatever the fights going on
What do you do if it's during the fight? Okay, you're emotional you have this situation
One thing you might want to do if you're very emotional in the situation or if your spouse is very emotional
Just take time to cool off away from each other
Just take 30 minutes to calm down. Just walk into the other room
You know just go out for a walk or do whatever just take some time to think about it
Because you don't want to make big decisions when you're really angry and emotional you're gonna say things
You don't mean you're gonna say things that are wrong. Just take a break from each other for a little while
Okay, James 1 verse 19 wherefore my beloved brethren
Let every man be swift to hear slow to speak slow to wrath
Okay. Now here's the thing when two people get in a fight. What happens is either one is swift to hear
They don't care about the other side. They're just like what can I say to hurt this person? It's like a competition
It's like they say something where I'm gonna get them here here, you know in
2015 you did this in
2013 you did this well, we're opening up Christmas presents in 1991 and you said this
It's like a battle to just say everything you can think of
Just take some time to cool off
Right, that would be smart because you need to be able to be you know
What's swift to hear and here's the thing if fights happen and both sides were swift to hear and they just let the other person
Talk calmly and you know what you could easily be done with the situation, but when people are emotional, they don't have control
They've lost control. Look if it's during a fight just take some time to cool off now
Here's the thing if you do this don't bring your cell phone with you
Right two people take time to cool off and you're just like launching text messages and emails and everything towards each other
That doesn't help the situation right take time just away from each other. Think about it. Pray about it
Maybe ask God hey for what I did wrong. Can you help me out? Can you help me calm down and everything?
And what's amazing is an hour later
It's like it's completely different and you start realizing how foolish was I?
You know, why did I lose my temper and everything turn to Proverbs 14?
Proverbs 14
Here's the thing the advice this just fundamental tips
It's not really complicated, but boy, it's hard to do when you're emotional
Right when you're involved in a fight, it's really hard to just kind of calm down and think about it
You know, we honestly don't have much control over our emotions
We easily lose our temper in situations and what that reveals is we need to work on our character and look
I'm including myself in this I'm not standing up here saying I never get in any fights
Okay, my wife and I have never gotten in a fight before that's ridiculous. Okay people get in fights. It's part of life
Okay, Proverbs 14 verse 29
He that is slow to wrath is a great understanding
But he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly the Bible says he that is slow to wrath
The person that doesn't just immediately get mad. He is of great understanding Proverbs 16 go to Proverbs 16 Proverbs chapter 16
Proverbs 16 verse 32
He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh the city
You know the Bible saying what's more impressive?
Than taking over a city or becoming a world leader
Becoming the president or you know taking over and ruling one-third of the world. What's more impressive is just controlling your spirit
Just controlling your attitude. It's actually more difficult just to control your own emotions, right?
The Bible said that he that is slow to anger is better than the mighty and if we could just learn to control our temper
We can learn to control our emotions the amount of problems we would have would be so much less in our lives
Okay a feast or return to Proverbs 15 Proverbs 14 Proverbs 15, okay
So look sometimes just take time to cool off
Another thing is this never fight in front of other people
You need to just make a decision as a married person
I will never fight in front of other people the only time if we have a fight
We will make sure I can control my spirit enough that if other people around we don't get in a fight
You say why because when people get in a fight and others are around both people look terrible
It doesn't even matter who was at fault both of you look bad, right?
I mean if a husband and wife get in a fight in front of other people they both look bad
You know sometimes you see this on Facebook, and I don't I don't get this right somebody is trying to like make their their
their wife or their husband look bad on Facebook
and it's like this is what my husband did and they send it out to all of these people and
It's like it might be true what they say, but you know what you look foolish
You look foolish for saying it
Settle that one-on-one
Don't just let everybody know about all the problems look if you get into a fight
Don't do it in front of other people have enough control over your emotions to say you know what I'll just think about it
And when we get home, we'll talk about it
Okay, don't get in a fight in front of other people and dead sure don't get in a fight in front of your kids
Kids need to see mom and dad as one flesh
United together as one do not fight in front of your children, okay?
Proverbs 15 so we talked about the cause of conflict
During conflict and let's talk about the aftermath. Okay, you're gonna. You're gonna clean up the disaster that has taken place, okay?
Proverbs 15 verse 1 you say what do I do brother Stuckey a
Soft answer turneth away wrath a soft answer turneth away wrath
You know it is amazing that if you get in a fight with someone, and you're really emotional
But then they say those magic words. I'm sorry. I mean isn't it amazing how it just
Usually you know what comes out of your mouth. I'm sorry too. Isn't that true?
When you get into a fight if you are able to humble yourself
I mean if you are more more greater or better than the mighty and
Are able to just say I'm sorry and admit that you messed up boy
It's amazing how a soft answer turneth away wrath and you want that is going to prevent
That's going to help fix the problem that took place
but the problem is oftentimes neither side is willing to say that they're sorry and
They're waiting for the other person to say it right you know I remember when I was a kid
I've one sibling. I have an older sister. She's two years older as you know sometimes
You know as kids of course we got in fights
you know I was six years old my sister's eight years old and we get in a fight or something like that and
Sometimes I knew that I did wrong, but I said in the back of my head. I am 45% wrong
My sister is 55%
So if I am 45% wrong, I will not say I'm sorry until my sister says she's sorry
Right you know your parents say you know say you're sorry
Or we're going to spank you and so you just take the spanking you're just like I'm not going to say I'm sorry
I'm only 45% wrong right and look this is how and look that's what kids do
But isn't it true that us as adults do that too sometimes?
Sometimes you get in a fight with your spouse. You know you did wrong
but
Either you didn't do as much wrong, or you don't think you did as much wrong, and you have the attitude. I will say I'm sorry
After
They say they're sorry isn't that true now?
Here's the problem with this you know on times when I thought I was 45% at fault. I was probably like 65% at fault
We always just think we're innocent in situations if anything happens. It's always their fault
Right it's never my fault. It's always their fault. That's the reason why I have a problem look
We need to just look at ourselves. It doesn't matter if you're 45% at fault 65% at fault or
1% at fault if you're 1% at fault you know what you should be able to say I'm sorry
Even if they never apologize to you, but usually especially in marriage if you say you're sorry. What does your spouse do?
They say they're sorry also isn't that true a soft answer turn with away wrath
But grievous words stir up anger the tongue of the wise use of knowledge are right
But the mouth of fools pours out foolishness you say brother Stuckey
I'm right in this situation. I have the proper knowledge, and I didn't do wrong. They did wrong, but you know what if you were wise
You would use knowledge or right meaning you would use that knowledge in the right way you might have a lot of knowledge
You're showing you don't have a lot of wisdom though
I mean if you get in a fight with your spouse you might be able to say something and you could be completely correct
That's gonna make them upset and cry and really up, but you know what is that a smart way to use the knowledge you have
What would be better I'm sorry or just think of something to win the fight
What's your goal because you can win battles in life and lose the war isn't that true?
You can win a battle and as a result of winning that battle you you lose the war. It's called a Pyrrhic victory
Okay, I think it was between either Greece and Persia where that term came in or Greece and Rome a Pyrrhic victory
We're basically one side put in all their effort, and they won that battle
But as a result of winning that battle they use too many resources
And they lost the war and if you focus on trying to win the battle with your spouse in a fight
You're gonna lose the war meaning you're gonna. Have a bad marriage. Okay turn to Ephesians 4
Ephesians 4
Ephesians chapter 4
Now you say brother Saki, I'm not married this stuff doesn't apply to me. You know it'd be smart to learn
practical fundamental tips ahead of time
Right I mean if you learn these things and you apply these things and look here's the thing
You can start working on your character before you're married
Right because I mean that's showing that you're not gonna get as many fights
Why don't you just work on those things and you know what it's gonna
Help you have a better marriage when you do get married and say well
You know once I'm married. I'll worry about that. I mean why don't you just get a head start on that okay?
That would be the smart thing to do
Ephesians 4 verse 26
So look
Don't hold grudges after fights done say your sorrys say your your say
I'm sorry forgive them move on don't hold any grudges and the other thing is this in the aftermath
Settle these things before you go to sleep at night
Settle these things before you go to sleep at night Ephesians 4 verse 26 be angry and sin not
Let not the Sun go down upon your wrath
Okay, let not the Sun go down upon your wrath
No matter what happened. You're really angry with your husband. You're really angry with your wife
Just make it a point to say you know what we're gonna settle this before we go to sleep at night
You don't want it to just fester inside of yourself and the first thing you do you wake up, and you're just angry
Right that's not the way to live your life
You want to get things settled before you go to sleep?
And you can have a clear conscience you go to bed, and you know when you're gonna wake up
It's gonna feel like a brand new day, but if you let that settle overnight. It's only gonna get worse
Okay, the Bible's telling you know what don't let the Sun go down upon your wrath
Meaning settle it before you go to sleep at night. Don't just stay angry from day to day to day
Okay, and here's the reality when people get in fights. It's very common for someone to bring up something that happened a year ago
Two years ago, it doesn't sound like you're actually forgiving
Say you're sorry and then move on and the past is the past
But if you make it the present it's gonna still cause problems if you just threw it in the past you could both move on
from that situation
Turn in your Bible to Song of Solomon 5 Song of Solomon 5
Song of Solomon 5
Basic tips hard to apply though right that's reality a lot of things in the Bible are pretty basic
But they're hard to apply
Point one marriage is a cleaving point two. We talked about conflict point three. Let's talk about courting
Okay, after you get married. You should still treat that marriage as if you're courting your spouse
You should treat it as if you're not married, but you're still trying to impress the person you get married to that you're married to
What one example this is staying in shape
After we get married we should seek to try to stay in shape for the person we're married to the Bible says you know
What your body?
belongs to your spouse
Okay
Song of Solomon 5 verse 15
It says his legs are as pillars of marble set upon sockets of fine gold
His countess is as Lebanon excellent as the cedars now when he says his legs are as pillars of marble
This is a statement saying basically that he was in pretty good shape that he was very very strong
Okay, now realize this that during this day people did a lot of manual labor jobs, right most jobs I've done it's just
Typing and so in order to stay in shape you unless I mean I had strong fingers, right? I
Mean, it's it's amazing some of those people I knew that you know back in in high school calls
I've played a lot of video games like man their fingers were like so quick. I was like wow
I mean you really developed that okay, but it's like if that's the sort of job
We're always sitting around you might want to find some active hobbies to do
Okay, and look in the long term it is good for us and she looks at her husband and says basically
You know, he's in pretty good shape and look here's the thing. The truth is this before we're married
We want to try to impress the person we're dating or if we're not dating anyone you we want to try to impress somebody, right?
So you try to stay in shape and look good for the person that you're married to
But then sometimes once we get married it's kind of like alright, I'm done. I'm in retirement
It's like, you know, I don't need to worry about this anymore
Okay
One thing we should do is treat it as if we're courting someone and before you're married you try to stay in shape usually
Right. Another thing is this dress nice
Dress nice. Okay after you get married. Don't just say well I can just dress like a slob now
Just wake up just in my pajamas and all day long. I'm just gonna wear my pajamas all day long
I'm just gonna wear shorts and a t-shirt. Okay, would you show up to a date like that? I
Mean would you honestly as a single person would you show up for a date with a person you're dating and just you show up?
With shorts and a t-shirt with holes in it as a guy would you do that?
It's like that's not gonna impress the person you're dating
What you're gonna do is you're gonna put on nice clothes like you do when you come to church
Right and look after we get married and and and the reality is when we put some effort into our marriage
It is gonna result in benefits. It's gonna cause you to care more about them
It's gonna show the person you're married to that you actually care about them
Okay, one thing we should do is after we get married try to stay in shape. Also still try to dress nice
Don't just say well I can just wear whatever I want and look like a slob all day
That is not gonna help you have a good marriage go to Song of Solomon 1 verse 3
Song of Solomon 1 verse 3
You
Should treat your marriage as if you're still courting your spouse you're still trying to impress them right stay in shape dress nice
Smell nice right smell nice. Okay, Song of Solomon 1 verse 3
And look, I'm gonna give you Bible verses for this. The only one I didn't have Bible verses for are dressing nice
I'm sure I could have found them if I look for them
Okay
But smelling nice Song of Solomon 1 verse 3 because of the savor of thy good ointments thy name is as ointment poured forth
This is her talking about him. Therefore do the virgins love thee
She's saying you know what all the ladies like this guy all the ladies like my husband
He because of the savor of thy good ointments because he smells good
Right. They have a favorable opinion just because he smells good. That's what she's saying
Okay, so he smelled good according to the Bible verse 12
As did she verse 12 while the king sitteth at his table
My spikenard sendeth forth the smell thereof a bundle of myrrh's my well-beloved on to me
He shall lie all night betwixt my breasts. My beloved is on to me as a cluster of campire in the vineyards of Enjedi
So what you're seeing is they're just
Commenting about how she's saying he smells good and she tried to smell good and look the reality is if you show up for a date
You're gonna try to smell good
Right, you're gonna take a shower. You're gonna look nice. You're gonna dress nice. You're gonna do your best
Why you're trying to impress them?
Why not take that philosophy after you're married, too?
Because you try to impress them because you want them to like you
Here's the thing after you're married your spouse might stay married to you
But if you want them to really like you you should put in some effort right there commenting how they smell good
Imagine if your wife was honest, it's like my husband smells like a Dorian
My wife smells like a crispy pasta, it's like
It's like look, you know, obviously that's that's not gonna be good
For your marriage. Okay, and these are just basic things and everything like that. Look, I'll be honest
I'm not saying I'm perfect at all this stuff
It's very easy on your day off to wake up and just wear shorts and a t-shirt and just be lazy and sit around
But isn't it true that when you dress up, you're more productive
Have you ever noticed that when you dress like a slob you act like a slob? I
Mean when you wear shorts and a t-shirt, you know what happens somehow you get on Facebook more
But you know when you put on nice clothes and everything and act like you're going to work even on a day off
Somehow you do something productive
That's the way it works. Now. I don't know why it works that way, but it is the way it works
There's no question about that right go to a song of Solomon to a song of Solomon to
song of Solomon to
Try to stay in shape for your spouse try to dress nice try to smell nice now
Look, I want you to understand on these points like for example staying in shape
I'm not saying you have to be at the gym two hours every day or whatever
Okay, but you know, there are some very simple things we can do to help with that
Okay, I mean even just changing from a little bit less pop to a little bit more water and look
I'm not saying I'm perfect at this
I don't need the the perfect diet or whatever
But I'm just saying we could make some effort make some small changes and it would benefit it would
Help our health out quite a bit
Okay, another thing when it comes to courting is if you're courting someone you go on dates, right?
Well after you're married you ought to go on dates sometimes. Okay, Song of Solomon 2 verse 10
Or verse 8 Song of Solomon chapter 2 verse 8
The voice of my beloved behold he cometh leaping upon the mountains skipping upon the hills
My beloved is like a rower young heart behold he standeth behind our wall
He looketh forth at the windows showing himself through the lattice. Okay, she sees her husband coming home
And she's excited, you know, there's a woman she's at home. She's waiting for her husband. He's coming home
She's very excited verse 10. My beloved spake and said unto me rise up my love my fair one and come away
What's he saying when he gets home? Let's go somewhere
Now look when you get home from work, it's very easy to just sit around and do nothing
Right me you're tired you come home from work. You just want to relax, but he says he comes home
he says rise up my love my fair one and
Rise up my love my fair one and come away
Then he says this in verse 11
For lo the winter is past and the rain is over and gone now for us here in the Philippines the winter never started
Okay
But you know the rainy season is almost over. Okay, so look for lo the lockdown is past
The rain is over and gone
Okay, so one of these days when the lockdowns over and we're able to take our kids out, you know
I'm not sure what year that's gonna be but
It's like, you know, you come home rise up my love my fair one and come away. Okay, he comes home
He's like, let's just go and do something. Okay, look realize this and you know, obviously as you end up having kids and stuff
It's not as easy to go somewhere and some go somewhere and do things
But you know, you could do something simple like just going to Jollibee going to the mall and just getting away
It's gonna be good right, of course your dates are not gonna be as easy once you start having kids
But you can still do something rather than let's just sit around every day
We're just gonna sit around now every once in a while guys come home and say you know what?
I'm gonna put off, you know, my my free time or whatever and just take my wife out
Okay, and look when you're reading Song of Solomon because I love the book of Song of Solomon. Okay, it's a book
I memorized a long time ago and there's so much practical wisdom in this book and I'll tell you what one thing
You see is this we saw it in Song of Solomon one that when she is by herself and she's out in the Sun
She's wondering at noon. Where's my husband and the reality is the Bible's trying to teach us
There's a lot of stay-at-home moms that when they're home all the time. It's just kind of frustrating always being home
Sometimes they just want to go somewhere and do something
they just want to go out and do something and this this guy Solomon was a very good husband until
You know, he married all the women whenever that happened. Okay, but he says rise up my love my fair one and come away
Verse number 12 the flowers appear on the earth
The time of the singing the birds is coming the voice of the turtle is heard in our land indicating springtime
Okay
The fig tree putteth forth her green figs in the vines with a tender grape give a good smell
Arise my love my fair one and come away now look when it comes to going on dates
It doesn't mean it has to be expensive. You could just go out on a walk somewhere
You could just go out and do something very simple
But just take the time sometimes to spend some time with your spouse
Put aside the online preaching put aside the Facebook. It will help your marriage. Okay, Song of Solomon chapter 2 and
Point number one was this
Cleaving marriage is cleaving you cleave under your spouse point two. We talked about conflict
Point three we talked about courting after you get married
You know what? You should still be courting your spouse as if you're still trying to impress them and look
This sermon is good for me to hear
Because I'm not standing up here. Like I preach that man. I'm just perfect at all of this, right?
it's like no I could really use this sermon and apply this to my life because I have a lot of work to do just like
all of us do and
point number four
Comparing okay. Look whenever you think about your spouse if you ever compare them to anyone compare them in a good way
Never compare them in a bad way Song of Solomon 2 verse 1
She says I am the rose of Sharon in the lily of the valleys
Okay. Now this is the woman speaking. She says I am the rose of Sharon
See, how do you know it's the woman speaking because a guy doesn't say I am the rose of Sharon. I
Am the greatest bullock lock in the world, right? It's like no he's this is the woman saying I am the rose of Sharon
She feels like I am the rose the number one greatest rose
Of Sharon and the lily of the valleys, okay. She is the lily in the valley look
Jesus is not the lily of the valley either my friend. This is the woman speaking
I love the tune of that song and look I need to do lily of valley 2.0 sometime
We can sing that song with that tune or rather change the words, but I remember this is a tangent
Okay, I went to a church in West Virginia
There's a good church, you know
I like the pastor and everything and think about him from time to time and his son was preaching at like a preaching night
And he did a good job. He preached for 10 or 15 minutes, and it was really entertaining
You know really engaging in everything and he's going through this list of things like he's the king of kings
The alpha and Omega all these powerful points. You're thinking amen. Amen. He's the lily of the valley
it's like
Awkward right I
Mean here it's the woman speaking. Okay. It's not the guy speaking now
I understand where people are confused because verse 2 is the guy speaking. It's not the girl speaking
she says I am the rose of Sharon and the lily of the valleys and he says as
The lily among thorns so is my love among the daughters
He's saying when I compare you to all the daughters
You are the lily among thorns all the other women are thorns and you're the lily
okay, so he made her feel like she was the greatest woman in the entire world and when he speaks he says you are the
Lily and then all of these other women are the thorns then in verse 3 it's her talking
Okay, if you ever want to study Song of Solomon out, you know outline it write down and think about all the phrases first verse
She's talking second verse. He's talking third verse. She's talking. He says she's the lily among thorns
She says as the apple tree among the trees of the wood. So is my beloved among the sons
She's saying he is the greatest tree among all these trees. Okay, the apple tree would be the one producing fruit
All these other trees are nothing special. Okay now look be very careful when you read the Song of Solomon to an audio Bible because
Sometimes they're wrong on who's talking. They'll have a woman start talking. It's like no, that's the guy
Okay, and she says about him, you know as the apple tree among the trees of the wood
So is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow. So this is her talking
I sat down under his shadow with great delight and his fruit was sweet to my taste
okay, you're seeing husband and wife both saying you're the greatest and
That is how you should feel about the person you're married to. Okay, go to Song of Solomon 5
We'll look at a few more places Song of Solomon 5
Song of Solomon chapter 5
Song of Solomon chapter 5 verse 8 now in Song of Solomon chapter 5 you also see here
She's not in the greatest mood. Okay, she's kind of in a bad mood and she's waiting
Where's her husband and in verse 8 it says I charge you this is her talking
I charge you Oh daughters of Jerusalem if he find my beloved that you tell him that I am sick of love, okay?
Now she's not saying I don't want to be married anymore or I don't want to be with this guy
It's just when you're when you're married you're pouring out your emotions your heart
Mentally physically all of your energy into that person and sometimes it can be overwhelming
And so it's probably that he's working and he's it's late. He's coming home
It's later than normal right and she's wondering she's like, you know, where's my beloved when's he gonna come home?
Now obviously in today's world we have cell phones a practical tip is hey
Just text your wife or your husband just to check in every once in a while. Let them know how things are going
Hey, I'll be home 30 minutes later today or something like that
That's something we can do in our modern day. Very simple. That is a fundamental tip you can apply
Okay, but she says I am sick of love verse 9. This is there. This is the daughters of Jerusalem responding to her
What is thy beloved more than another beloved? Oh thou fairest among women
What is thy beloved more than another beloved that thou dost so charges? What's so special about your husband?
That's what they're saying. What's so great about him? You're wondering when's your husband gonna come home? What's so great about him?
Why do you say he's better than other guys? Okay. Now look she's not in the greatest mood and
Here's the thing if she had low character. This is when she'd probably say, you know what you're right
Other guys would have been home 30 minutes ago
Other guys, you know would have you know, taken me out to jolly be last night or whatever, right?
I mean, it's like, you know, but she's not in the best mood
But when they say this notice her reaction in verse 10
My beloved is white and ruddy the chiefest among 10,000. She says he's the best
What's so great about him? And then she goes on and on and just says he's the best. There's no comparison
My husband is the greatest husband in the world is what she's saying
Genesis chapter 2 Genesis 2 Genesis 2
Look not only should we never fight in front of other people, but you know what you should never say anything negative
About your spouse to other people don't say anything negative
Don't criticize your spouse like my husband does this my wife does this that's foolish
In this story and in the Bible you see you know what?
She doesn't say anything negative about him and we're looking at the story that's gonna give us the ideal marriage to have
Right of how they interact and guess what? They never criticize each other
She never criticizes him to other people and look as people that are married. We should not criticize our spouse to other people
It's not a wise thing to do and you know, here's the thing
When you criticize it, all it does is make you dwell on that thing. You're talking about
It doesn't help the situation right people that like to complain and criticize. All it does is make him more depressed
Right if there's an actual problem something that your husband he's not right on by criticizing him
That's just gonna make you feel worse about him and vice versa if you criticize or complain about your wife
That doesn't make you all of a sudden magically
It's all gone if I just complain about my spouse
I'm gonna feel great after that for like five seconds and then you're gonna be dwelling on it and feel worse. That's reality
Let us apply the wisdom of the Bible and she doesn't criticize him. He doesn't criticize her. Okay
Now before we were my wife and I were married, you know
My wife has been a Baptist an independent Baptist since she was 12 years old
But not all independent Baptist churches are the same right Baptist churches are a little bit different
So when we first started talking, of course
We talked about the Bible a lot and various different topics and everything because obviously, you know
You're trying to find out if somebody's gonna be your match and there's various
Disagreements you could have where you just couldn't marry someone because you disagree on things
So we'd have a lot of topics would come up. We talked about the rapture
That was a fun conversation
Every time we talked about it. We talked about Abraham's bosom, right?
We're going through all these topics and you know on all these topics I'm showing her
Well, I mean, this is not actually what the Bible says, right?
And I was showing her and there's a lot of topics where you know
She was had to change her mind on what she believed. I showed her what the Bible says and everything
Well, I remember there's a topic that we we disagreed on and we had talked about it before and everything
And I remember I was reading the Bible
I was reading Genesis chapter 2 which we'll look at in a second and I was reading the Bible and I realized I'm wrong
Boy, you hate being wrong, right? And then I remember telling my wife she was so happy
I told her you know what you're right about this topic and then the smile on her face
I mean, I've never seen her happier. She was so happy
And so I realized I was wrong. Okay. Now what I believe in look you might disagree with what I'm gonna say
And that's fine
I'll show you the Bible verse and explain it like what I believe before is I didn't necessarily think that God designed one person
Specifically for you to marry that is more like your own free will choice and everything like that
But as I was reading the Bible I realized my wife was right that God has designed one person specifically for you
Okay, and I'll show this to you in the Bible Genesis chapter 2 verse 18
Genesis 2 verse 18 now, obviously we realize obviously I realize that you know, if you go down the wrong road, you can screw it up
Right, obviously, that's true. And here's the thing if you're married here today, you've made your choice
Okay, you can and I'll tell you what as I'm studying the book of Hosea, which we're gonna preach to I'll tell you
All indications are after the first couple chapters that they have a solid marriage. There's no indication
They have a terrible marriage after that and it took him actually really forgiving her, but it became a good marriage
Okay, so whoever you're married to forget about the past and don't dwell on that but build what you have and make it good
Okay, but notice what it says in Genesis 2 18
This is one of the most misquoted verses in the Bible that I've seen
Okay, Genesis 2 verse 18 and the Lord God said it is not good that the man should be alone
I will make and help meet for him now notice
Usually when I hear this quoted I hear it is not good that man should be alone
It does not say it is not good that man should be alone
So it's not good that the man should be alone. You say why is that important?
He's not saying it's not good for mankind to be alone
He's saying it's not good for Adam to be alone the man so when it says I will make and help meet for him
He's saying I will make and help meet for Adam. He's not saying I will make and help meet for the man
He's saying I will make and help meet for Adam
Okay, and look I believe especially as we're Christians that love God. You know, what God does have somebody designed for you. I
Believe God made and help meet for me because he's specific on the definite article does not good that the man should be alone
Okay. Now obviously we can apply this situation Adam and Eve to other marriages, but I believe with each individual marriage
He's has someone designed for you. Okay, you say why why are you telling us this? Why is that important?
Here's why it's important. It would be foolish as we're talking about point for comparing to
Criticize your spouse or say well this other wife is better
This other husband is better because here's the thing the person you're married to is the person God designed for you
You're criticizing God if you say, you know what other ladies don't do this other guys don't do this
Well, you're criticizing God who gave you that spouse
Right and even if you disagree in my interpretation of verse 18
Look, if you're married, you ought to look at your spouse and say God has blessed me with this person. I
Am lucky to have this person and look if God has blessed you with someone who loves God
God has blessed you with someone who's serving God if God has blessed you with a spouse, you know
What you ought to look at that and say, you know what God has blessed me this person and don't compare and criticize your spouse
Now look, we don't know why God's made the choices that he does
Obviously, I understand and I preach against Calvinism all the time
But it doesn't mean that we're just kind of freely floating in this world
Just randomly who knows we're gonna end up if you're serving God God is guiding your steps
Okay, obviously, you know, I could serve God and run a church in the u.s. But I believe God led me here
Okay, obviously there's a free will choice
But we believe that if you're serving God God's gonna guide you in the right steps
And look if you're serving God and you find a spouse and you get married God led you to that person
Okay, and when you realize that you ought to be very thankful with whoever you're married to now
Look, I believe Hosea was meant to marry Gomer
Now, I don't know why I don't know why God gave him that wife given her background
but I want you to understand our lives are meant for the glory of God and
See God has designed you with someone. It doesn't mean hey if I marry this person, there's never gonna be a fight
Well, that might not be what God's goal is for you
Maybe you're gonna have someone that's gonna force you to develop better character in your life
Right, we don't know but realize this if God has given you a spouse
That is the person you are meant to stay married to and I'll tell you what I get it
You can't get divorced in this country, but you can also just kind of throw in the towel
Right. I mean have you ever seen like a boxing fight where they don't give up?
They don't quit the fight
But then there's the boxer just kind of standing out there for the fifth round doesn't even throw any punches
right
It's I mean the Oscar de la Hoya many Pacquiao fight aside all right, Delahoya just just throw in the towel
It's like you're obviously not fighting anymore. Okay, and it's just like, you know in life sometimes it's like, okay
Well, I'm just gonna stay married to the bitter end not gonna try to work on my marriage not gonna make it better
I'm just I'm not gonna get divorced so or leave them. Well, I mean that's not gonna give you a good marriage
Okay, it's like whoever you are married to and regardless of what decision you made or who you're married to that is the person God
Has for you now
Okay, so, you know your marriage you need to make that a strong marriage and I want you I want to end with this thought
Okay, I want you to realize when it comes to marriage
That let's say for example, you have husband and you have wife
Okay, let's say for example
The husband's like I'm putting in this much energy into my marriage and my wife is putting in this much energy
It can go back to that attitude. You know what?
I'm not gonna put in any more energy into my marriage until my wife reaches my level
Then I'll be nicer to her
Okay, and the wife could look at it the same way
We're just like I'm putting in this much energy into my marriage. My husband is putting in this much energy
Once he gets to this level, then I'll become a better wife. Okay, but here's what you need to understand
There are direct and indirect relationships
Marriage is a direct correlation. What do I mean by that?
I mean, they're directly correlated as one goes up the other goes up
Okay, meaning if the husband is here and the wife is here and the husband puts in more effort to be a good husband
Guess what? The wife is gonna do
Even if it is a little bit lower
She's gonna be a better wife by virtue of the fact the husband is putting in more energy
And if the wife is here and the husband's here, my husband doesn't do this. My husband doesn't do that
I'm putting it in it more energy. I care more
I'm not gonna try until he becomes a better husband or if you became a better wife. Guess what happens?
Husband becomes better, but see it also goes back to the thing where we always think we're better at stuff than we are
As the husband if you say I'm here my wife's here and the wife says I'm here and he's here
It might be kind of like this
Right oftentimes. We're just not as good of husbands as we think we are. It's like man. I'm the perfect husband
I never do anything wrong
It's like I can't understand the wife might feel like man. I'm the perfect wife. I never do anything wrong
No, actually we all do things wrong
Okay, and instead of worrying about the other person just be the best husband you can be
Be the best wife you can be you say why look it's in your benefits because marriage is directly
Correlated between husband and wife if you become a better husband your wife becomes a better wife if you become a better wife
Your husband's gonna become a better husband and it's also true if you go down
Man, my husband is not doing this. I'm putting in more energy than my husband
So I'm just gonna drop my level right? Well, then he's gonna drop his level
Have fun with that it's gonna get worse and worse and worse and worse
Don't be ruled by your emotions
You got to be logical sometimes just do the best job you can do as a husband the best job as a wife
Here's the thing. It's not easy. I'm not saying it's easy
I'm not saying I'm arrived and I'm not saying I never have problems
I'm not saying I don't need to work on it, but I'm just giving you fundamental tips and I'll tell you what
You know as as as Christians and people that love God if you want to be successful in life
You really need your whole family on board with you and the number one relationship you have is with your spouse
Anyway, you need to have a good strong relationship with a person you're married to let's close in a word of prayer
Dear Heavenly Father. Thank you for allowing us to be here today and just getting to
See some tips and some things on marriage God and help all of us
help all of us men in this room become better husbands and
Do a better job of being good leaders and to show our wives that we love them and we care about them and do everything
we can you know according to the principles and God's Word and
also as wives help all the ladies in this room just to
Try to do their best to be good wives and to love their husbands and respect them and follow them God
And help us to be a church. It's not just getting a lot of people saved
We're also building great character and building strong families God we pray these things in Jesus name. Amen