Alright, we're here in 1 John chapter 3, and we're continuing our series on the fruits
of the Spirit, and last week we went through an introductory sermon series on the series
fruits of the Spirit, and the first fruit that we see here in Galatians 5 is love.
Now, perhaps it is the first one because it's the most important, or perhaps it's the one
we think about the most, but it is the first one listed in Galatians 5, and the first point
we have here today, and I want you to understand right up front that when you think of the
word love, you could look at the world's definition of the word love and they're completely wrong
about it.
You know, if you watched a Hollywood movie, if you listened to worldly music and things
such as that, you know, they talk about love and everything, and quite honestly it's very
destructive to people, especially people that are married or going to get married, because
it gives them the wrong balance on what true love is according to the Bible.
Because when you see movies, you hear music and all this stuff, the way they portray love
is that it is just a feeling.
And if you feel very strongly towards something, that means you love it.
But that is not what the Bible teaches.
In fact, the first point we have here this morning is this, that love implies action.
It is not just a feeling.
Notice what it says in 1 John 3 verse 16, 1 John 3 verse 16.
By the way, this is one of the best verses in the Bible to prove that Jesus Christ is
God.
Hereby perceive we, verse 16, hereby perceive we the love of God, because He laid down His
life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.
And so we perceive the love of God, because He laid down His life for us.
So according to this verse, who laid down their life for us?
God.
That's what it says in 1 John 3 16.
Now we know that Jesus is the one who laid down His life for us, and Jesus is God.
Right here it says in 1 John 3 16, God laid down His life for us.
It's a great verse because you can easily remember 1 John 3 16.
So if you're trying to show that Jesus is God out soul winning, because by the way,
somebody must believe that to be saved.
They must understand not just what Jesus did for them, but who Jesus was.
You must believe on what He did and who He was.
And this is a great verse.
It's easy to remember 1 John 3 16, God laid down His life for us.
But notice, we perceive the love of God, because He laid down His life for us.
See when God loves us, the love of God, there is action associated.
It's not just that God feels strongly towards us.
There's actually action involved that He laid down His life for us.
He actually died for us.
This idea that love is just this feeling that you have.
I feel so strongly towards someone.
You know, I love them.
Look, feelings come and go.
You have ups and downs.
Look, when you're married, there are times where you don't feel that strongly for who
you're married to.
You get in a bad mood.
You get frustrated.
If that's your definition of love, then you're going to fall in and out of love all the time.
And that's why the world is getting divorced all the time.
That's why the world is loving this and loving that, loving this person and this person,
this person.
Look, love is not just a feeling.
There is action associated.
Turn to 2 John, 2 John.
And in 2 John, we're going to see this theme throughout the Bible.
You can look up the word love.
And a long time ago, I preached a whole sermon on this at Word of Truth Baptist several years
back.
But you can look up the word love in the Bible, and you're always seeing action being associated
with it.
Now, look, don't misunderstand me.
If you're going to marry somebody, you should feel strongly about them.
I'm not saying, hey, you know, you don't enjoy spending time with this person.
You know, marry them because they're safe.
No, I mean, obviously, you ought to find them attractive.
You ought to enjoy spending time with them.
But I want you to understand that when we're talking about love, love is really action
associated.
And so if you love someone, it's not so much that you have a strong feeling towards them,
but you are willing to lay down your life for them.
You care strongly enough that you are willing to lay down your life, and that shows that
you love them.
2 John 1, verse 5, 2 John 1, verse 5.
And now I beseech thee, lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment unto thee, but that
which we had from the beginning, that we love one another.
Talks about love in verse 5, and this is love that we walk after His commandments.
So according to verse 6, what is love that we're obeying His commandments?
We're following His rules.
It's not just a feeling, oh, I feel like I love God.
I feel so strongly about God.
I listen to this rock song, this Christian rock song.
I feel so strongly, man, I feel like I love God so much.
What actions do you have to prove it?
Look, your actions are proof if you love something.
Let's say, for example, I told you I love working out.
And you say, Brother Stuckey, how often do you work out?
You know, it's been about two months.
Two months ago, I really loved working out.
It's been about two months since I worked out, though.
Would you think that I love working out?
No, because there's no action associated with it.
If you say you love working out, that means you work out quite a lot.
Several times every week at the very least.
See, the things that you love, there's action associated with it.
And see, people have this idea, hey, I love God.
Well, where's your action to prove it?
Do you read the Bible?
Do you pray?
Do you come to church?
Do you go soul winning?
No, I just feel really strongly towards God.
I'm sorry, you got the wrong definition of love.
That's the world's definition of love.
God's definition says there's works to back it up.
Just because you feel, look, you say, man, I really love my wife,
but I don't enjoy spending time with her.
I don't really care about her needs or her emotions.
Well, I'm sorry, but your actions don't really show
that you love her that much.
Now, that's wicked because if you're married to them,
you are commanded to lay down your life.
But look, what I'm saying is this.
If you say you love something, there's action associated.
Turn to John 3, John 3, John chapter 3.
And this theme is throughout the Bible.
I'm just showing you, highlighting some verses
from the Apostle John that he mentioned.
We're looking at 1 John, 2 John.
Now we're looking at John 3, 16, the most famous verse.
But you could go throughout the entire Bible
and you're seeing that love implies action.
And it should not be surprising to us
that the world's definition is wrong
because what are they really right about?
They're basically wrong in everything.
They give you a messed up understanding
on everything in life.
And it should not be a surprise to us
that half the world is getting divorced.
Look, this is the only country you're gonna come to
where nobody's divorced, okay?
Every other country, because they can legally get divorced
in other countries, they're getting divorced.
And a large part is because they got married
because they felt very strongly.
But it didn't mean that they were ready
to lay down their life and really care about that person.
John 3, 16, for God so loved the world
that he gave his only begotten son.
Notice once again, God so loved the world,
you say, well, how do you know
that God really loved the world?
Because he gave his only begotten son
for the sins of the entire world.
Whether it's a Christian country,
whether it's a Buddhist country or Hindu
or Jewish or Muslim.
No, he gave himself for the sins of the world,
the whole world.
So Mr. Calvinist, you ought to look at this verse.
He didn't just give himself for the elect.
No, he gave himself for the world
that whosoever believeth in him.
But you're seeing actions associated.
He loved the world that he gave.
See, love in the Bible implies action associated with it.
Turn to John 14, John 14.
And quite honestly, the world contradicts itself
all the time.
Because if you were to ask the world,
let's say for example, you said,
hey, I really love eating fruit.
It's my favorite type of food.
I love fruit.
And you say, well, how often do you eat fruit?
I don't know, it's been a few weeks.
It's been a while since I ate fruit.
The world would say, well, that's stupid.
You don't really love eating fruit.
Because the world would look at that example and say,
well, yeah, there's no action associated.
But when they look at the word love
and apply it to like marriage, it's all just a feeling.
It's like, well, figure out your definition.
See, even the world can understand with some examples
where they're not tainting them,
that yeah, love would imply action.
If you love eating chicken, you're gonna eat chicken.
Yeah, I haven't eaten chicken for two years.
You don't love eating chicken then.
Look, if you love something,
there's gonna be action associated with it.
The things you love, there is going to be action
to back it up, to prove that you love it.
John 14, verse 15, if ye love me, keep my commandments.
Jesus said, if ye love me, keep my commandments.
So according to the Bible, if you love God,
if you love Jesus, you will keep his commandments.
Now notice, I did not say to be saved, keep his commandments.
It doesn't say that.
I've heard people quote this verse to me to say,
well, see, you gotta do good works to be saved.
It's like, no, it said, if ye love me, keep my commandments.
It didn't say to go to heaven, keep my commandments.
You say, are you saying that you can go to heaven
without loving God?
Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying.
He loved us, he gave himself for us,
but I'm sorry, most Christians do not love God.
I say, how do you know that?
How can you be so arrogant to say that?
Because love implies action,
and where are there works to prove they love God?
Now look, faith is the evidence of your salvation,
but works are the evidence of whether or not you love God.
And if there are no works to back it up, I don't believe you.
You say you love God, you never read the Bible.
You don't love God.
Why?
If ye love me, keep my commandments.
You say, man, I love God,
and I'm committing adultery on my spouse.
You don't love God.
And you don't really love your spouse either.
You're breaking his commandments.
You're breaking his rules.
Look, if you love God, according to this,
you will keep his commandments.
Not to go to heaven, but if you love him,
you will keep his commandments.
And here's the truth.
This is a big book,
and a lot of these rules are hard to follow.
A lot of these things, I'm guilty of breaking.
All of us are guilty of breaking.
And what we need to do is make a concerted effort every day
to purpose in our heart like Daniel did to live for God.
Daniel did not just accidentally live for God.
It said he purposed in his heart
because when you're in that false Babylonian empire
and the world's against you,
it's not easy to stand up for the things of God.
Look, the world we live in today,
it's not easy to stand up for the things of God.
It's not easy to make it a point to be at church
and to go soul winning and to read the Bible.
But if we love God, we will keep his commandments,
according to John 14, verse 15.
Notice verse 23, verse 23, John 14, verse 23.
Jesus answered and said unto him,
if a man love me, he will keep my words.
Did he say he might keep my words?
He said he will.
It's a guarantee.
Look, if you love God, if you love Jesus,
if you love the Bible, you will keep his words.
That's what the Bible says.
Look, there's action associated with it.
So this idea that you can love God
and just not obey his rules,
because you know, you listen to some Christian rock song,
you feel really strongly.
Look, that is not love,
just because you have this strong feeling.
Turn to John 21, John 21.
And see, I understand this.
You know, at this church, Verity Baptist Manila,
you know, we don't hide what we believe.
We preach the truth.
And the truth is, this is not a church
that is just gonna pat you on the back and say,
you gave us your tithe this morning, we're happy.
We'll just say nice things to you to make you feel good.
We want you to leave this place
feeling like you really love God.
Look, if you really love God,
I want you to leave this place feeling like you love God.
If you don't love God,
I want you to leave this place feeling guilty
and decide to live for God.
You say that's gonna hurt the offering.
Yes, it will, but you know what?
We're commanded to preach the whole Bible.
We don't hold back from the truth
because it offends some people.
Look, every single one of us needs hard preaching
to fix our lives, including myself.
Do you think I've got my whole life put together?
Do you think that every time I preach a sermon,
I'm like, man, I'm 100% perfect on that.
I don't have 100% perfect love.
I mean, the Bible says perfect love casteth out fear.
Look, I get fearful from time to time.
I don't have perfect love.
None of us have perfect love.
So this sort of sermon, yeah, it steps on my toes.
I've got to apply it.
But you know what?
The truth sometimes it hurts.
And if we are guilty, we need to hear the sermon
so we can make the changes in our life.
Look, nobody's going to make changes
unless they're shown from the word of God
that they need to make changes.
And it's our job at church to show that.
And so the first thing we see is this,
that love implies action.
But the second thing is this, that love is tested.
Love is tested.
Notice what it says in John 21.
And we're going to use the example of Peter.
And we're going to look at this example in John 21.
Then we're going to go back to where this originates from
in John 13.
We'll see here in John 21 verse 15 where it says,
so when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter,
Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these?
He saith unto him, yay, Lord, thou knowest that I love thee.
He saith unto him, feed my lambs.
Now notice once again, he's saying,
well, if you love me, feed my lambs.
Are you noticing a connection between loving God
and actually doing something?
You love me, feed my lambs,
because that's the proof of whether or not you love me.
Notice what it says in verse 16.
He saith to him again the second time,
Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me?
He saith unto him, yay, Lord, thou knowest that I love thee.
He saith unto him, feed my sheep.
Once again, feed my sheep.
There's action associated.
Verse 17, he saith unto him the third time,
Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me?
Peter was grieved because he had said unto him
the third time, lovest thou me?
And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things.
Thou knowest that I love thee.
Jesus saith unto him, feed my sheep.
Now, verse number 17 is a very,
is a verse that there's a lot of debate about it.
There's a lot of confusion.
And quite honestly, it's not really that complicated.
But what most Baptist preachers are gonna tell you
is that in verse 17, the reason why Peter is grieved,
the reason why he really feels bad,
well, to get that understanding,
we gotta go back to the Greek.
Because in the English, we just see the word love.
But that's not really what's taking place.
Because even though we're King James only,
to get the full meaning,
you still gotta go back to the Greek.
Well, that's not King James only.
You say you're King James only.
Where's the action to prove that you're King James only?
They go back to the Greek and they say,
well, see the word love here in verse 15 and 16,
it's translated differently than in verse 17.
Because what there is is agape love
and there's phileo love.
And see, you know, just like,
basically phileo love is just this brotherly love
and agape love is like true love.
You know, I believe that's what they say it is.
And so basically, you know,
there's true love that he's saying,
and then there's phileo love, there's agape love.
So basically on the third one, he's really grieved
because you go back to the Greek
and he's being really insulting to Peter.
That is not why Peter is grieved.
You say, well, how do you know why Peter is grieved?
Well, turn back to John 13.
What you do to figure things out,
you don't go back to the Greek, you go to the English.
The same Bible, you compare spiritual things
with spiritual things.
You don't go to a commentary, you don't go on Google.
What you do is you go to the Bible
and if you don't know, you keep reading the Bible
and you're gonna eventually figure this out.
Because I have heard this preach correctly before,
but quite honestly, I figured out what it was talking about
before I ever heard it preached correctly.
You say, why?
Because I read the Bible and then all of a sudden
it's the same Holy Spirit, the same spirit of truth.
And I was like, man, that makes sense.
And then I heard other people that are like-minded
preach the same thing and I'm like,
yeah, that's what it says, it's clear.
So why is it on the third time Peter is grieved?
The reason why he's grieved is he remembers back
to what happened in John chapter 13.
What happened in John 13?
Verse number 37, Peter said unto him,
Lord, why cannot I follow thee now?
I will lay down my life for thy sake.
Now Peter is very bold, he's confident.
I'm willing to lay down my life for you
and that really is proof of love.
I'm willing to lay down my life.
And back in John 21, he talked about how,
you know, I really do love you.
Jesus says, do you love me?
And he says, yes, I do.
Do you love me?
Yes, I do.
He keeps asking him that question
and Peter says, yes, I do love you, you know that.
But then going back to John 13, notice what we see here.
He says, I'm willing to lay down my life for thy sake.
Verse 38, Jesus answered him,
wilt thou lay down thy life for my sake?
Verily, verily, I say unto thee,
the cock shall not crow till thou hast denied me thrice.
See, the reason why Peter's grieved in John 21
is it makes him remember, as he mentions it the third time,
because Peter in John 13 really felt like he loved God.
Just as every one of us in this room
probably feels like we love God.
Isn't that true?
We all feel like we love God.
Remember, love's not just a feeling.
We all feel like we love God.
Peter really felt like he loved God very strongly.
And then on the third time,
he remembers back from John 13
where he was gonna deny him three times.
And so in John 21, he's grieved about it
because he remembers, man,
I said I would lay down my life for you.
I told you before I really loved you,
and yet I denied you three times.
And so when he mentions it the third time
and Jesus stops after three times,
he does that because he's trying to drive home the point.
Now don't misunderstand me.
I do believe Peter had some love for God.
Obviously there are works to show that.
In the Bible, Peter did show that he loved Jesus Christ.
He did many mighty things before he denies Jesus.
But what he ends up finding out is
I don't love Jesus as much as I thought I did.
There were some works to prove that Peter loved Jesus,
but quite honestly, we always feel like we love God
more than we actually do.
That's why we can't just go off of a feeling.
Yes, Peter had some love.
Look, you're in this room today.
You come to a church like this.
You read the Bible.
You go soul-winning.
You do have some love for God.
But quite honestly, all of us probably don't love God
as much as we think we do.
And that is why we don't just look at a feeling.
We look at what am I actually doing?
What are my works?
Because here's the thing, love is actually tested.
And once it's tested, you're gonna find out
how much do I really love Jesus?
See, in John chapter 13, Peter's love,
he's saying it's gonna be tested.
And when Peter had the test, he failed that test.
A lot of us in this room, look,
if we were in that situation,
we probably would have done the exact same thing.
We wouldn't have felt like we would deny Jesus Christ,
but when love was actually tested,
we'd find out whether or not we really love God
as much as we think.
Turn to Genesis 22, Genesis 22.
Genesis chapter 22.
And in Genesis chapter 22, we're gonna see the story
of Abraham and his son, Isaac.
And in Genesis chapter 22, we see that basically
Abraham's love for God is tested
as he's told to sacrifice his son.
Now, if you're familiar with the story
of Abraham and Isaac, him and his wife Sarah,
they had a lot of trouble having a child.
It took them quite a lot of time.
Now, this is a story that my wife and I kind of relate to
because although we didn't have as much trouble,
my wife and I, when we got married,
we kind of just assumed we'd have kids right away
because I saw some of my friends get married
and they had kids, some of my friends had kids
like nine and a half months after they got married.
And it's just like right after they got married,
they were blessed with a child.
And I kind of figured it was gonna be the same thing
for me and my wife.
And my wife and I, every month we would kind of wait
to find out and it didn't happen.
And there were times where there was false alarms.
And then I remember when my wife and I found out
that we were gonna have children.
I remember we found out we were gonna have children
and we had an appointment at the doctor's
and then all of a sudden we were coming,
waiting to hear back the results.
We were excited to just kind of make sure
everything's going well.
And I still remember my wife and I were driving the car
on a Friday and my wife got that call
and we found out that we had been waiting for children
and our twins had died.
We found that out on a Friday.
I vividly remember this because it's a big event in my life,
but I remember waiting to have children and you're waiting,
you're so excited, you're waiting, you get frustrated,
as you're waiting, you're waiting, you're waiting,
then it comes and then they're gone.
And I remember that Sunday, Pastor Mendez was out of town.
So I was preaching the Sunday morning service.
And I remember just thinking,
man, I don't wanna preach on Sunday morning.
I just kinda wanna just take a break,
just be lazy this Sunday and everything like that.
But I got up and just preached,
didn't say anything about it,
didn't really let anybody know about the situation
and just had to play the man as the Bible says.
Look in life, especially as a husband or a father,
there are times you've gotta put on a good face
and act like you're not hurting.
Look, all those pastors you love listening to online,
sometimes you're listening to them preach a sermon,
they're fired up preaching the word of God
and on the inside, they're going through the storms of life.
Look, pastors, men of God,
they go through storms of life just as well as you guys do.
Everybody does, everybody has their trials in their life.
And just because someone puts on a good face,
that doesn't mean on the inside everything's going well.
You don't know what's going on.
That's why we need to be very kind to church members,
be very generous to people, be very loving,
because you just don't know
what people are actually going through
because everybody puts on a good face.
But the reason why I'm mentioning this story
is because in Genesis 22, Abraham and Sarah,
they wait for a long time to have a child,
and then Abraham's told, you need to sacrifice your son.
Look, in my flesh, I feel like I would have told God, no.
It's like, I waited for this child.
I waited, we prayed about it.
We watched all these whores and whoremongers
get pregnant and have children.
Why wouldn't you bless us?
No, I'm not gonna do it.
But Abraham was probably a lot more faithful
than I would have been.
And Abraham is willing to actually do this,
but what you're seeing is Abraham's love for God
is tested in the most difficult way
it possibly could have been.
There's nothing Abraham would have wanted to do
less than sacrifice his son,
as they had been praying and waiting decades for that child.
Notice what it says in Genesis 22, verse one.
And it came to pass after these things
that God did tempt Abraham and said unto him, Abraham,
and he said, behold, here I am.
And he said, take now thy son,
thine only son, Isaac, whom thou lovest,
and get thee into the land of Moriah,
and offer him there for a burnt offering
upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
See, what you have to understand is,
as much as Abraham loved his son, Isaac,
we are supposed to love God more than our family.
Now, if you have the proper love of God,
it's gonna make you a good husband,
it's gonna make you a good wife,
it's gonna make you a good father,
it's gonna make you a good mother,
if we have the proper balance of what the Bible says.
But what you're seeing is sometimes even our love for God
is tested against other things we love.
And let me tell you something,
a lot of people don't come to this church
because their love for God is tested
against their love for their family or friends.
And quite honestly, some of them love their friends
and family more than they love God.
Now, those are harsh words, but it is reality.
Look, our love for God, it's going to be tested.
True love is actually something from time to time,
it gets put through the test,
and you find out, well, how much
do I really love what I say I love?
Your love for God in your life, it is gonna be tested.
You say, Brother Stuckey, man,
things have been going great for me,
everything's great in my life.
Hey, I'm happy for you, you will go through tests.
Every single one of us, your love for God
is gonna be tested, your love for anything's
gonna be tested.
Your love for your wife in your life
will be tested from time to time.
Your love for your husband is gonna be tested
from time to time.
Your love for your kids is gonna be tested
from time to time.
Love is tested, and we see that in the Bible.
Turn to John 15, John 15.
You say, Brother Stuckey, I thought we had
a sermon on love this morning,
I thought this was gonna be an encouraging sermon.
You'd pat me on the back, make me feel good.
No, this is more of a face-ripping sermon.
To find out, do you really love as much as you say you do?
Now, here's the thing about this,
and this is a good principle for you guys,
and I'm gonna talk about this in the next sermon as well,
in the teaching principle sermon.
The Bible talks about reproving, rebuking, exhorting.
I think a little bit of a misunderstanding about that is,
most people think of two-thirds of sermons are negative,
and then one-third of my sermons are positive.
For example, a sermon on love's a positive sermon.
A sermon on hate's a negative sermon.
No, basically, all sermons you should strive
to have mostly negative but some positive.
Every sermon should have some sort of exhortation.
If you preach a sermon on Bible reading,
a sermon on love, I don't just kinda rip you apart
and not give you kinda solution at the end.
You need a solution on how to get better at it at the end.
You need an exhortation.
A sermon on reading the Bible,
yeah, you're told about how you need to read the Bible,
you feel guilty, but then there's an exhortation at the end.
See, every sermon should strive to be two-thirds negative,
one-third's positive.
Notice what it says in John 15.
The third point we have is this,
that love requires sacrifice.
Love requires sacrifice.
John 15, verse 12, this is my commandment
that ye love one another as I have loved you.
Greater love hath no man than this
that a man lay down his life for his friends.
Now, in John chapter 15, had Jesus died yet on the cross?
No, he had not.
Now, I do believe he's giving kind of a reference
to what he would do, but notice how he says,
as I have loved you, in the past tense.
Yes, we know Jesus was a lamb
slain from the foundation of the world,
but when you cross-reference with the Bible,
another thing about love
is not just a literal laying down your life,
but a symbolic laying down your life.
Husbands are commanded to love their wives.
Most likely, you will not have to physically die
for your wife, yet you can still love
in the same way that God has loved us,
by laying down your life for your wife on a daily basis.
Laying down your life on a weekly basis.
What does that mean?
Basically, it means you put aside what you want
and you do what they want.
You make a sacrifice in your life.
You say, I love this woman, I love my wife.
Then you need to make some sacrifices in your life
to show your love.
Yes, love implies action.
It also requires a sacrifice in your life.
If you really love something,
you're willing to lay down your life.
The people in the Bible that did the most for God
and were the most loving,
they set aside everything that they wanted.
People like Paul the Apostle,
look, he didn't even know where he was gonna sleep at night.
It's like, man, maybe I'll sleep on a rock.
Maybe I won't have a place to sleep.
I don't know.
He's actually willing to lay down his life, okay,
because he has a love to get people saved.
Turn to Ephesians 5, Ephesians 5.
And so yes, most likely, you will never have to literally
lay down your life for your friends,
but did you know that you can lay down your life
symbolically for your friends?
You can lay down your life symbolically for your wife
or your husband or for your fellow church members.
Look, when you're raising kids,
aren't you laying down your life all the time for them?
They're crying at two in the morning.
You just have to deal with it, right?
You must do something.
You have to lay down your life.
What you want is to sleep.
You say, what do you want, brother Stuckey,
when your son cries in the middle of the night?
I want to sleep.
That's what you do in the middle of the night.
They that sleep, sleep in the night, the Bible says,
but when you have kids, that's not always true.
Sometimes they cry, sometimes they're sick,
sometimes you have to deal with that.
And what you're doing is you're laying down your life
for your kids.
Look, when you have love for something,
it requires action and it also requires a sacrifice.
In Ephesians 5, talks about this.
Notice what it says in Ephesians 5, verse 25.
Ephesians 5, verse 25.
Husbands, love your wives,
even as Christ also loved the church
and gave himself for it.
So yes, there's action associated.
Christ loved the church.
He gave himself for it.
He's also sacrificing.
Now he literally sacrificed himself.
Us, we must symbolically sacrifice
by on a daily basis, laying down our life
and not worrying about what we want,
but worrying about what other people want.
That is what we must do.
As husbands, you are to love your wives
in the same way that Christ loved us.
What did he do?
Every single day he didn't care about what he wanted.
As husbands, what do we need to do?
Every single day we need to care about what our wives want.
Now look, I'm not being watered down.
I'm not saying that the wife makes the choices in the home.
I understand the husband's ahead of the home,
but let me help you guys out.
And this is something that I need to remember as well.
If you want to get your wives to follow you,
it's going to be a lot easier
if you actually are laying down your life
and caring about them.
You see, one thing that happens
when it comes to sermons like this,
you know, sermons from our movement or our kind of church,
our kind of church has unique preaching.
Obviously everybody in here, you know that.
This is not the sort of preaching you hear
at your typical Baptist church, okay?
But generally what you see is that men will love
this kind of preaching right away.
And with women, it's not necessarily immediate.
Sometimes, for example, some of this,
because a lot of this preaching,
it requires more changes from the wives
than it does the husbands.
And so sometimes it's a little bit more difficult.
It's not as much here in Asia, I've noticed,
because there's so many female soul owners here in Asia,
even more so than men.
In America and some other countries though,
honestly, you go to some of these churches,
it's like 70% single guys and like 30% single girls,
just tons of guys that love the preaching.
And sometimes you'll have guys that are married
and they love this kind of preaching
and they're bringing their wives to church, okay?
But their wives don't like the sermons.
They don't like the kind of church.
But you know, part of the problem is those husbands,
they get off work after working eight hours,
they go home and they listen to online preaching
for four hours.
It's like, why don't you see the part in the Bible
about laying down your life for your wife?
It's not a shock that she doesn't like
this kind of preaching,
because this kind of preaching in her mind
is taking you away from her,
and it actually is to some degree.
Look, proper preaching is understanding that yes,
we love God, number one,
but when you're married,
you do not just listen to online preaching all day.
There are more important things to do than that.
More important things.
You actually should be laying down your life
for your spouse, and you know,
if you do that and your wife sees
that this kind of preaching makes you a better husband,
you know what she's gonna naturally wanna do?
Say, man, you know what, I do like that kind of preaching,
because it's making you a better husband
and a better father.
It's gonna make her more devoted to the things of God.
You must understand in the Christian race
when you're married, look,
you're gonna struggle being a great Christian
if your spouse is not a great Christian.
Sometimes you need to basically take a step back,
make sure you spend the time
so both of you are growing spiritually.
It's not just you.
Both of you need to be growing spiritually.
Notice what it says in verse number 26.
That he might sanctify it and cleanse it
with the washing of water by the word,
that he might present it to himself a glorious church,
not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing,
but that it should be holy and without blemish.
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.
He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Why does it say that he that loveth his wife
loveth himself?
Well, the reality is that if you're a smart person,
it is worth investing the time to love your spouse,
because otherwise you're gonna have a terrible marriage.
Now, yes, in the Philippines,
you're not gonna get divorced,
but people can act divorced while still being married.
They might legally be married here in the Philippines,
but there are plenty of people legally married
here in the Philippines.
They might as well be divorced
because the husbands and wives,
they don't care about each other.
Look, as Christians, I hope you don't just have a goal.
Hey, I wanna reach the end of my life
and I didn't get a divorce.
Hopefully you have a goal
to actually reach the end of your life and say,
man, I still love my wife.
My wife still loves me.
I still love my kids.
Hopefully that's a goal as well.
Look, people need to understand
that love requires sacrifice,
and what better example than when you get married?
Because literally when you're getting married,
you must decide to set aside some things that you want.
Turn to Philippians 2, Philippians 2.
A lot of people wanna get married,
but the question you have to ask yourself is,
are you ready?
Are you ready to not just feel like you love someone,
but to actually do the works and lay down your life
and prove that you love that person.
Notice what it says in Philippians chapter two, verse one.
Philippians two, verse one.
If there be therefore any consolation in Christ,
if any comfort of love,
if any fellowship of the Spirit,
if any bowels and mercies,
fulfill ye my joy that ye be like-minded,
having the same love being of one accord of one mind.
And so in verse one and verse two, it talks about love.
Now, what does it mean to have the love of Christ?
How do we do that?
Well, notice what it says in verse three.
Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory,
but in lowliness of mind,
let each esteem other better than themselves.
Look not every man on his own things,
but every man also on the things of others.
See, you can have the love of Christ
when you don't look at the things that make you happy,
but you care about other people.
See, that's what true love is,
when you're actually willing to lay down your life
for the sake of somebody else.
That is what Jesus Christ did.
Look, you must understand that the point
of the Christian life is it's not about you,
it's about other people.
If you could sum up the teachings of Christ,
it would be that right there.
That your life is not about you, it's about other people.
You say, Brother Stuckey, I don't feel like going to church.
Well, what about the people that are at church?
Do they want you at church?
Ask yourself that.
You say, I don't feel like going soul winning.
What about the unsaved people
that are gonna die and burn in hell?
Do they wanna hear the gospel?
It doesn't matter what you want, what do they want?
You say, Brother Stuckey, I just wanna kinda relax
and be to myself, I don't wanna help out.
Look, it doesn't matter what you want.
What do other people want?
You say, man, I'm married and I just wanna come home
and just relax and just do my thing and listen to service.
Doesn't matter what you want.
You got married, what does your wife want?
And the same thing for the women, for the men as well.
What does your husband want?
You oughta care about other people rather than just yourself.
Notice verse five, let this mind be in you
which was also in Christ Jesus.
So we're supposed to have the same mind,
because in verse two it talks about being like-minded
and it talks about the love of Christ,
having the same love.
And then it says in verse five, let this mind be in you
which was also in Christ Jesus.
So what is this love we're talking about?
Verse six, who being in the form of God,
thought it not robbery to be equal with God,
but made himself of no reputation
and took upon in the form of a servant
and was made in the likeness of men.
And being found in fashion as a man,
he humbled himself and became obedient unto death,
even the death of the cross.
He literally sacrificed himself.
Everybody thought he'd come as some conquering hero.
You missed the point of the ministry of Jesus Christ.
He came to be a servant,
not to have people minister unto him,
but to actually minister to other people.
Look, you see these false prophets,
these religious leaders, they have so much money.
They have people waiting on them hand and foot
to do everything for them, and they're so rich.
It's like you missed the whole point of the Christian life.
Jesus didn't come as a conquering hero.
He didn't come to rule the world and be a king.
The first time he came, he came to minister
and be a sacrifice.
And look, not only does love imply action,
but love also is tested and it requires sacrifice.
Turn in your Bible to 1 John 4, 1 John 4.
And you say, Brother Stuckey,
you know, you've mentioned three negative things so far.
That love requires action, that's difficult,
that's hard work.
You mentioned that love is gonna be tested.
Well, I mean, I don't really wanna go through those tests.
And you say love requires sacrifice,
so the question I have is this,
why would I even want to love something?
Because it sounds very negative.
Well, two things to mention.
One, your life's not about you.
It doesn't matter what you want.
You say it doesn't seem very positive.
Well, God told you to do it, and you obey God's rules.
But let me say something very positive to you,
because even though we see that love requires a sacrifice
and love is tested and it requires action,
not only that, but love results
in a return on your investment.
Notice what it says in 1 John 4, verse 19.
We love Him because He first loved us.
Did we love God first, or did He love us first?
He loved us first.
Why do we love God?
Because He loved us.
You see, His investment into us resulted
in many of us loving God.
We love Him because He first loved us.
Why?
Because love results in a return on the investment.
See, what I'm trying to tell you is this,
that yes, love is difficult, yes, it requires work,
yes, it requires sacrifice,
yes, there has to be action to back it up,
yes, it's gonna be tested,
but if you decide to love something,
there's gonna be a return on that investment.
When you decide to love your wife,
your wife will love you more.
When you decide to love your husband,
your husband will love you more.
When you decide to love your kids,
they're gonna love you more.
See, a lot of people have this attitude.
They say, I feel like I love my wife this much,
and I feel like my wife loves me this much.
I will not put any more love into my wife
until she reaches this level.
Now, there's a couple problems with this.
Number one, if you feel like you love your wife this much,
you probably actually love her this much.
And if you feel like she loves you this much,
it's probably like right here.
So number one, the attitude you have is wrong,
and she might think the same thing.
They both think, man, you know what, I love them this much,
why don't they love me that much?
In reality, if you want them to reach this level,
what you need to do is bump it up to a higher level,
and they're gonna love you more.
Who cares if you feel like you love them
a little bit more than they do?
Don't you want them to love you more?
See, the more love you put into someone,
the more they're gonna love you back in return.
Turn to Ephesians 6, Ephesians 6, Ephesians 6.
And so yeah, love requires work, it requires sacrifice,
it's not gonna be easy, but the reality is
if you want people to love you,
you've actually gotta put love into them,
and they're gonna love you more in return.
That's what the Bible teaches, Ephesians 6, verse 4.
Ephesians 6, verse 4, the Bible reads,
"'And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath,
"'but bring them up in the nurture
"'and admonition of the Lord.'"
And the Bible says as fathers
that we are not to provoke our children to wrath,
to extreme anger, and the way we'll do that
is when we provide nurture and admonition, okay?
Now you say, wouldn't you guys all agree
that when a baby is born, they love their parents?
The parents love their baby,
and the baby loves their parents.
Isn't that true?
You say, why does the baby automatically love their parents?
Well, think about this.
For nine months, for 40 weeks,
that baby has been 100% dependent on that mom for survival.
That mom for nine months
has poured her love into that child.
Of course that baby's gonna love their mom.
You say, well, I don't think babies understand
what's going on.
Well, I don't believe science understands what's going on.
I don't believe that.
I believe that for nine months,
that baby sees a mom that's pouring everything
into that child,
and because that mom is pouring everything into that child,
that baby naturally loves that mom so much.
And the first year that child is growing,
that baby is completely dependent on the parents.
What's the result?
That baby is gonna love their parents.
And the first 10 years, 15 years,
in today's world, the first 30 years,
those kids are completely dependent on their parents,
and they're gonna naturally love their parents.
The only way they won't
is if those parents drive away those kids.
See, what you have to understand
is when you pour love into something,
there's a return on the investment.
Yeah, it's not always nice when it's two in the morning
and you have to help out your son and you're exhausted,
you have no sleep,
but when you're pouring your love into something,
there's a return on that investment.
What I'm trying to encourage you today is,
yeah, you know, it's gonna be difficult,
I'm honest with you, I'm truthful to you,
but if you pour love into your husband,
your husband's gonna love you more.
You pour love into your wife,
your wife is gonna love you more.
You pour love into your kids,
your kids are going to love you more
because love results in a return on the investment.
Turn to Proverbs 16, Proverbs 16.
And you know, what the great example is about having kids
is yes, your kids are completely dependent on you
and it causes them to love you,
but it also causes you to love them.
You see what's really important in life.
See, when you pour love into something,
you actually love that more as well.
See, love results in a return on investment.
And look, this is true
whether or not you're talking about an individual
or whether or not you're just talking about
anything in general.
And it's not necessarily a positive thing.
Whatever you pour your attention into,
there's a return on that investment.
If you decide to drink alcohol every day
and pour all of your attention into that,
there is a return on that investment.
And that return is you're gonna die at a young age,
your kidneys are gonna fail,
your health is gonna be destroyed.
There's a return on that investment.
Look, I love Reese's cups.
You say, what's the proof?
I eat a lot of Reese's cups.
Guess what?
The return on the investment is you gain weight.
You're not in very good shape.
Whatever you pour yourself into,
there's a return on that investment.
Now, notice what it says in Proverbs chapter 16.
Proverbs chapter 16.
So you say, brother Stuckey,
I get the point of your sermon,
love is not just a feeling,
it requires action, requires sacrifice,
it's gonna be tested.
I get the fact that it results in a return on investment.
It sounds like it's a good thing to do.
I should love my wife more.
I should love my husband more.
I should love my kids more.
I wanna feel that strongly about them.
I wanna just really feel so strongly
and just love them so much.
You say, brother Stuckey, what's your advice?
Well, here's the thing.
If that is what you're thinking,
you've missed the whole point of the sermon.
We are not just talking about a feeling.
You say, I wanna feel more strongly about something.
Look, that's your problem.
It is not just a feeling.
See, at most Baptist churches,
you have a nice little altar call down here.
You feel really guilty at the end of the sermon.
You have this strong feeling.
You decide to get right with God,
and guess what happens next week?
The same thing.
Why?
Because your life is based on feelings.
Your feelings, they come, they go.
Love is not just a feeling.
It's action.
You say, brother Stuckey,
I want to love my wife more.
What is the answer?
Proverbs 16.
Proverbs chapter 16, verse number three.
Proverbs 16, verse number three.
The Bible reads,
commit thy works onto the Lord,
and thy thoughts shall be established.
You say, brother Stuckey,
I don't read the Bible,
and the reason why is
because I just don't feel like reading the Bible.
If I felt like reading the Bible,
I would read the Bible.
How do I fix that?
You fix that by starting to read the Bible.
Commit your works unto the Lord,
and your thoughts are established.
When you choose to do the action,
guess what?
Your feelings go along with your action.
You start reading the Bible,
you'll start enjoying it.
You start going soul winning,
you'll start enjoying it.
You start living for God,
you're gonna start enjoying it.
You start laying down your life for your wife,
you're gonna care about your wife more each and every day.
You start loving your husband more,
each and every day you're gonna find I love them more.
You pour your time into your kids,
the result is that you think more strongly about them.
Your feelings, they follow your works.
It's not the other way around.
Your feelings, they follow your works,
and the world is telling you that love is a feeling.
The problem is the works have to come first.
And the works come,
and your thoughts and the feelings follow.
The works come first.
You say, how do you know that?
Because I believe in the Bible.
And the Bible says in Proverbs 16 verse three,
commit thy works unto the Lord,
and thy thoughts shall be established.
Turn to Matthew six,
Matthew six, we'll look at one last place.
But you know, even from common sense,
this makes sense to me.
And I'll tell you why.
Because as I mentioned the example of having a child earlier,
you pour all of your attention into a child.
And when you're doing this,
it's not always fun at the time.
It's tiring, it's stressful,
you just wanna take a break.
But you know, the result is not just
that your child loves you,
but that you really love your child.
You know the thought that kept going through my mind
the two and a half weeks I was gone?
I just had this image of my son running around the corner,
seeing dad and just running up to me.
I couldn't wait to give him a hug.
Literally from day one, I was like, man,
I just wanna come home.
Because I come home from work sometimes,
and my son runs around the corner, he sees me,
I go down, bend down and pick him up.
And that's the thought that went through my mind.
Why is it that I love my son so much?
Because when you actually put time into something,
you invest work into something,
the result is your feelings are gonna go along with it.
You say you want to love your spouse more,
invest time into your spouse.
You want to love your kids more,
invest time into your kids.
Maybe start having dinner as a family.
Maybe quit being on Facebook all the time
and YouTube and the television.
Maybe just have dinner as a family,
talk, play board games or something for fun,
invest your time into something.
You wanna love God more,
why don't you start putting aside the distractions,
start reading the Bible, start praying,
start going to church more faithfully,
start going soul winning.
You're gonna find that you start to love God more.
But if you wait your entire life to feel really strongly,
you will be waiting your entire life.
Why is it that so many people
that know they should be at church,
know they should be going soul winning,
know they should be reading the Bible,
why is it that they don't do that?
Because they just don't feel like doing it.
They don't feel like doing it and the problem is,
they're never gonna feel like doing it.
Until they actually do it.
When I started reading the Bible,
I'll be honest with you, I did not enjoy it.
I'm just being honest with you here this morning.
When I was 19 years old,
cause I gotta say five days before I turned 19,
and when I started reading the Bible
when I was 19 years old, it was a chore.
It was difficult.
You say why?
Cause I didn't understand a lot of it.
Look, I didn't know that much about the Bible.
I'd never heard independent fundamental Baptist preaching.
I hadn't read through the Bible many times.
The first time I was reading through the Bible,
I was like this isn't that much fun,
cause I don't understand all this stuff.
But what I found is the more I read the Bible
and the more I understood, you know what?
It actually became enjoyable.
When I started it, it wasn't so much.
It was more of a chore.
And see, that is the way living for God is.
See, the world, the way it operates,
is that things start off like a lot of fun
and they end up just getting worse and worse with time.
Just look at the Hollywood movies.
Look, I don't watch movies now,
but there's like every movie is like
the 20th different one in the franchise.
They can't come up with any new ideas.
It's like Batman 20, you know,
the Superman 20 or whatever they are,
Star Wars like 20, all these different ones,
they can't come up with any new ideas.
Why?
Because Hollywood is no longer entertaining.
They start here, they come up with this idea,
and they can't come up with anything new.
The world gets worse with time.
Living for God, it starts off here
where it's difficult, but as time goes by,
you enjoy it more.
Look, someone who first gets saved,
they will enjoy watching a Hollywood movie
more than reading the Bible.
At first.
But as you start living for God,
what happens is you walk in the new man
and all of a sudden your desires,
instead of being for the world's things,
they start to be for God's things.
You say, why?
Because your feelings and your thoughts,
they follow your action according to the Bible.
Matthew chapter six, verse 19.
The Bible reads,
Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth,
where moth and rust doth corrupt,
and where thieves break through and steal.
But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven,
where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt,
and where thieves do not break through nor steal.
Notice verse 21.
For where your treasure is,
there will your heart be also.
Now, in verse 21, it's talking about literally financial.
It's literally talking about money.
And when you think about money,
let's say, for example, you bought a brand new car
and it costs you two million pesos.
And let's say, for example,
the next day somebody scratches that with the key.
You're gonna be pretty mad, aren't you?
You say, why?
You invested quite a bit into it.
Let's say, for example, though,
that you bought that car for 20 pesos.
A nice new car for 20 pesos and somebody scratches it.
Do you think you care?
It's not gonna be that big of a deal to you.
You say, why?
You don't have as much invested into it.
See, when you invest money into something, you really care.
Look, you invest a million dollars into the stock market,
you're gonna care if it crashes.
You invest $5, you're not gonna care as much
because you don't have as much invested.
It's the same with your feelings.
See, when you invest into something,
what happens is, where your treasure is,
there will your heart be also.
See, when you invest your feelings into your wife,
your heart will follow.
What first starts is the works
and what follows is your feelings.
The actions, they come first.
Now, look, this kind of sermon
is pretty much gonna be the opposite
of what the world is gonna tell you.
See, the world is gonna tell you that basically,
you know, oh, you feel really strongly.
I remember on Facebook, they had this like page
that was like, and you guys might not even know this movie,
it's an older movie,
why can't I have a love like The Notebook?
That was like a Facebook page, it's this Hollywood movie.
It's like, look, and I saw that movie back in college,
that movie is complete garbage.
It's like their relationship in that movie,
basically they're gone from each other for seven years,
she's engaged to another guy
and he's just, you know, with all these different women.
It's like, yeah, that sounds like a great marriage.
That sounds like a great romance,
you're just with all these different partners.
That sounds fabulous.
Why can't we all have a love like that?
Yeah, you can have what the world has to offer.
You can have that if you want it,
but that's not real love.
See, love implies action, love is gonna be tested,
love requires sacrifice,
but you know the good news here this morning
is that love results in a return on your investment.
And I want to encourage you here today,
you say, Brother Stuckey, it's hard work,
sometimes I don't feel like, you know,
my wife loves me as much as I should.
She might feel the same way about you.
If you want her to love you more, love her more.
You want your kids to love you more, love your kids more.
You want God to love you more, love God more,
because love results in a return on investment.
Let's close in a word of prayer.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for allowing us
to be here today and just getting to see
what the Bible says, God,
and help us to apply this sermon to our lives,
including myself, God, this is not an easy thing
to lay down our lives and to really care about other people
and not care about ourselves,
but this is what we're called to do as Christians.
We're called to do this as, whether it's husbands,
wives, parents, to basically set aside the things
that we want, God, and actually care about other people.
God, help all of us in this room,
help us to accomplish this.
We pray this in Jesus' name, amen.