Alright, we're here in 1 Thessalonians, 1 Thessalonians, 1 Thessalonians chapter 2,
1 Thessalonians chapter 2.
We're continuing our series on the fruits of the Spirit and this is the fifth of the
fruits of the Spirit.
So it's right there in the middle and this word gentleness or gentle in any form, it
appears only nine times in the Bible, okay?
It doesn't appear a lot of times in the Bible, but it is mentioned in the fruits of the Spirit
because we're going to talk about this here today.
And so basically, gentle is an adjective and gentleness is a noun.
You have it, he, has, that's on the end.
So here in 1 Thessalonians chapter 2, notice verse number 7 where the Bible reads,
But we were gentle among you, even as a nurse cherished it, her children.
And the first point we have here today is this, that you are gentle with things of value
or gentle with things that you care about, okay?
It talks about being gentle with your children.
That is something you should obviously really care about, okay?
Now it says in 1 Thessalonians 2 verse 7, even as a nurse cherished her children.
Usually in the Bible when it talks about nurse, it's talking about taking care of very young
children.
It doesn't always mean that though because Deborah was Rebecca's nurse and she was obviously
an adult, but usually it's talking about basically when you're nursing a child, you're taking
care of them at a very young age.
And I think that's the main connotation here, that basically you look at a mom that would
deeply care about her children, especially when they're a baby.
So you have to understand that babies are completely dependent upon their parents.
They need mom and dad for survival.
They will die without them.
And here's the thing, us as people, we are going to be gentle with things that we actually
care about.
And so when you have kids, you must realize at a very young age, you have your kids heart.
They love you.
They care about you.
Every time I come home, Zeph is just so happy to see me.
At a very young age, you have your children's heart.
And the only way you're going to lose that is if you drive them away or don't spend time
with them.
That's the only way it's going to happen because your kids love you because they are completely
dependent upon you from year one and year two and year three.
And they love you so much.
I remember when I was a kid, I thought my dad was the strongest man in the world and
the best basketball player and the best football player.
I thought he was the best at everything.
Now, maybe he told me that.
I don't really remember.
But that's what you think of as your father.
You think of your parents as being the best in the world.
You say, why?
Because they've invested so much time into you that you actually care about them.
You have to understand your kids really care about you.
And unless you drive them away, they are going to care about you and love you.
And when they are older, they're still going to love you.
Okay?
Now, yes, it's true that we do need to spank our children.
The Bible teaches that.
But at the same time, when I spank my son, what do I do after that?
I give him a hug.
I tell him I love him.
And I try to explain the best I can why he got the spanking.
Now, look, I don't spank my son if he makes a mistake and he doesn't know what he did
was wrong.
I spank him when he intentionally does wrong.
For example, from time to time, he knocks over a hymnal here at church.
Now, I told him, I gave him chances.
And then he has to get spanked because he knows it's wrong.
And if he chooses to test me on that, he will get spanked for that because he's just choosing
to disobey.
At the same time, what do I do after that?
I hug him.
I tell him I love him.
And I show him, hey, this is why you got in trouble.
And the result is, five seconds later, they have a smile on their face and they're in
a good mood.
That's the way babies are.
That was honestly one of the shocking things to me when I first started spanking my son.
They don't stay mad at all.
They're fine just a little bit later.
And the reason why is because they realize that you love them, that you care about them.
And kids already love their parents.
And us as parents, if we're going to be smart, we're going to be gentle with our kids.
Yes, we correct them, but there's also a proper way to do that.
Now, turn to Ephesians 5.
Ephesians 5.
I mean, isn't it true of things that you actually care about?
Those things that you actually be very gentle with?
Think about if somebody gave you like a diamond ring that was, you know, I don't know, worth
300,000 pesos.
You're going to be very careful with that.
And make sure you don't drop it.
You're riding on the jypney.
You're going to have it like in a little bag and have it really stuffed in and you know
your bag, you know, your pocket stapled or whatever, so no one can take it.
It has a lot of value to you because it's very expensive, right?
And so things that actually you're going to be gentle with are going to be things of
great value because you don't want to destroy it.
You don't want to lose it, okay?
Another thing that we should be very gentle with is our marriage.
Notice what it says in Ephesians 5, verse number 28 and 29.
Verse 28.
Now when it comes to our own bodies, we care about our own bodies.
And you know, we want to make sure that our bodies are okay.
And the Bible says as men, we ought to love our wives in the same way.
We care about ourselves, but we should actually care about somebody else.
And if there's something you ought to be gentle with in life, if you're a husband, it is with
your wife, okay?
Now turn to 2 Samuel 6, 2 Samuel chapter 6.
2 Samuel chapter 6.
You say, what exactly does that mean, Brother Stuckey?
It means if your wife does something that makes you upset or she makes a mistake, you
don't just start screaming at her.
You say, why?
Because that marriage ought to really have a lot of value to you.
See, if you scream at someone, it's not going to cause that marriage to get better.
It's going to cause it to get worse.
And things that you care about, you're going to be gentle about, okay?
Now notice what it says in 2 Samuel 6, and we're going to see a great man of God who
is a great example of what not to do, and we're talking about David.
Notice what it says in verse number 16.
She hates David.
She's angry at her husband.
You say, why would she get that mad that he's leaping and dancing?
Well, probably because he has multiple wives.
I would say that's probably the reason why she hates him.
Isn't it true if you're already mad at somebody?
It only takes something small to really set you off.
If you've got a problem with someone and they just do one small thing that you're not happy
about, you're going to get extremely angry because of the fact inside you're already
angry at that person.
I would presume she's upset because of the fact, you know, he is married to multiple
wives, and he basically took her from the person she was married to.
It's such a weird situation.
She was married to David first.
She's married to another guy now, and he takes her from him, and he's basically forcing her
to be married to him, and yet he doesn't really spend any time with her, at least from all
indications of the Bible.
Verse number 20, then David returned to bless his household, and Michael, the daughter of
Saul, came out to meet David and said, How glorious was the king of Israel today, who
uncovered himself today in the eyes of the handmaids of his servants, as one of the vain
fellows shamelessly uncovered himself.
And so she's very mad, and she criticizes him.
Now what David should have done is basically just walked out of the room and just made
sure he didn't say anything and allow himself to cool down.
Okay, if there's any advice for people, because we have a lot of people in our church that
are going to be getting married here in the next, you know, 12 months, next six months,
and you know, if you have a problem with your spouse, you get in a fight, what you do is
just kind of walk to another room, let yourself cool off, let yourself be in the right state
of mind before you just answer foolishly, especially as men, because of the fact we're
the stronger vessel.
And look, wives can be very emotional at times, and you've got to be smart and not answer
back.
In fact, that's what a foolish person would do, because you're just going to go war against
war, fighting, fighting, it's never going to end.
Notice what it says in verse number 21.
And David said unto Michael, it was before the Lord, which chose me before thy father,
and before all his house to appoint me ruler over the people of the Lord over Israel, therefore
will I play before the Lord.
Notice how David said, which chose me before thy father.
This is one of the rudest statements in the entire Bible.
You say, why?
Because her father's dead.
That's a pretty harsh statement.
And why exactly did King Saul die?
Well, because he's chasing after David and he turned from God, and basically God had
Saul taken out.
I mean, he committed suicide, but basically God was done with Saul, and he committed suicide.
But he basically tells his wife that, hey, I was better than your father that's already
dead.
Now, that's a very, very harsh statement to make.
And you can tell that neither one of these people really seems to value their marriage
very much, do they?
Look, if this is the way you speak with your spouse, good luck having a happy marriage.
I understand here in the Philippines, you can't legally get a divorce.
But whether you stay together in the same house, you're going to act divorced.
If you're going to talk like this to your spouse.
If you actually care about your spouse, you're going to be gentle with the words you say.
It's very obvious that David doesn't care about his wife.
And, you know, she at this time doesn't really care about him either.
They did once care about each other, but not at this time.
Look, the truth is that when you get married, it's not a guarantee you're going to be happy
the rest of your life.
Now, in this country, you will stay married the rest of your life.
That's not a guarantee that you're going to stay happy your entire life.
Now, look, every single spouse, husbands and wives, they do fight from time to time, and
they say things they regret.
You're around each other 24-7, and you're not always in a good mood.
You're stressed about things.
And when you get married, you are marrying into the stresses of life.
See, when you're dating, you don't have those stresses.
But once you're married, those stresses are compounded upon you.
And what you're seeing here is that David doesn't really learn how to control himself
around his wives, and he doesn't talk to them very nicely.
And, yes, she's commanded to respect him, but is she really going to respect someone
who's going to talk to her like that?
Look, I promise you this is not the only incident.
This is just the one that the Bible is actually telling us about.
And, look, in this room, you might be married or you might be getting married.
That's not a guarantee you're going to stay happy forever, because the honeymoon stage
kind of fades out after time.
And you're going to realize you're going to have times in life where things are not going
well.
You must learn to control your mouth.
Now I recommend you read James chapter 3, because pretty much everything the Bible says
can be controlled except our mouths.
And isn't that the truth, that we say things, but when you say something, you can't bring
it back again.
Look, I know on Facebook you can say something and quickly delete before they see what you
said.
But in real life, you say that to them, you can't bring it back.
And it doesn't matter if you come with the nicest gift.
Those words are actually going to hurt.
And yes, the expression is sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt
me.
But in reality, I'd rather just that you throw stones at me.
You know, words are much more powerful because they hit the inside.
See, stones and sticks hit the outside, but the words actually come to the inside, and
that's what really hurts.
And so if you actually care about your marriage, you're going to be gentle with your spouse
and be careful about the things that you say, especially as men, we need to be careful about
what we say.
Notice what it says in verse 22, and look, David's not done with what he's saying.
He already said something rude, but then he says, and I will yet be more vile than thus,
and will be base in mine own sight, and of the maidservants which thou has spoken of,
of them shall I be had in honor.
Now keep in mind, David has multiple wives, and now he's basically saying, I'm going to
basically be around all these other women.
And you know, that's a pretty offensive statement to make when he's basically married to other
women already.
That'd be like a guy who's cheating on his wife.
And I understand he's married, you know, he has many wives, but it'd be like a guy cheating
on his wife and kind of rubbing it into his wife.
That's a pretty harsh statement to make.
Yes, David was a man after God's own heart, but in terms of being a husband and father,
he's pretty bad.
He wasn't very good.
Notice what it says in verse 23, therefore Michael, the daughter of Saul, had no child
unto the day of her death.
Now the Bible says here in verse 23, therefore, okay, that basically means you look at the
previous verses, and this is the reason why she has no child.
Why does she have no child?
Because yes, they were technically married, but they were never together as husband and
wife again.
That's the reason why they never had any kids, because of the fact, you know, she's mad at
him for having multiple wives, and he can't control what he says, and they basically hate
each other until the day they die.
Now I presume Michael was saved as well, so they're going to see each other up in heaven,
but obviously, you know, they ended up hating each other.
And you can be married and love each other at the beginning and end up hating one another
if you can't learn to control the things that you say.
That's not the only problem with David here, because obviously I don't really think they
spend much time together.
Obviously his wife was taken from him.
And those are lessons to learn as well, that when you're married, you ought to spend time
with your spouses.
Now turn back to 1 Thessalonians 2, 1 Thessalonians chapter 2, and so point number one is that
you are gentle with things that you care about.
David didn't really care about his marriage that much to Michael, so he wasn't all that
gentle with her, and vice versa.
But the second thing is that you're also gentle with things that are fragile, okay?
So what I believe in Tagalog is Marupok.
Things that are Marupok, you're going to be very gentle with those things, okay?
Like let's say, for example, I handed you a paper plate after the service.
You're not going to be that careful with how you're holding that paper plate, like you're
cupping it here, you want to make sure that you don't drop it, but what if you had like
a glass plate?
You're going to be a little bit more careful, aren't you?
Why?
Because if that falls, it's going to shatter.
It's very fragile compared to a paper plate, okay?
And you're going to be very gentle with things that are fragile.
Now both things I mentioned are not only things that should have value to you, but they're
also things that are very fragile, very Marupok, okay?
Your kids at a young age, babies, are very fragile.
Notice what it says in 1 Thessalonians 2, verse 7.
First Thessalonians chapter 2, verse 7, but we were gentle among you, even as a nurse
cherishes her children.
And so one reason why a nurse would cherish her children and be very, you know, very gentle
is because of the fact those children have great value, but also because they are very
fragile at a young age, okay?
The mortality rate for babies in the first year of their life is 15 times higher than
year 1 to 2.
I used to work, when I worked in Maryland, I worked with pensions.
I basically looked at a lot of mortality rates, basically death charts, your chances of dying
at various different ages.
It's crazy how the first year in two of the life of a baby, their chances of dying are
like way up here, and then they dramatically drop.
And then basically it's very unlikely you're going to die each year, and eventually it
will go up once you get older.
But those first couple years of life, babies are very likely to die compared to people
that are older.
It would be much more likely for a baby to die than someone who's in their 20s or their
30s.
Much more likely.
Very often they die.
And look, the truth is this, that when you have kids and the first time they have a cold,
as parents you are scared to death.
See how do you know that, Brother Stuckey?
Because the first time Zeph was having trouble sleeping and he had a cold, you are very scared,
you're wondering, do I have to take him to the hospital?
What's wrong?
Why?
Well, for one, because they mean a lot to you, they have great value to you, but also
because you know they're very fragile.
And babies at a young age, it can be very dangerous.
I remember one time back in Sacramento, I went to the restroom and when I went out,
I didn't realize my son was standing right in front of the door.
And so I wasn't looking down and I basically just walked out and I kind of walked out kind
of fast, just ran into him and he hit the back of his head on the ground, just boom.
And I was scared as a parent.
And look, the reality is as careful as you are, everyone who has kids in this room knows
there are times that your kids fall, they bump their head.
No matter how careful you are, it's going to happen.
And it scares you as a parent.
It really does because you know at a young age, it's very dangerous and you also really
care about them.
And at a young age, babies are actually very fragile and not just physically, but also
emotionally as well.
And that's why when you spank your children, you must do it in the right way.
There's times when I'm trying to teach my son something.
The other day I was trying to tell him no about something and I was being very firm
with him saying no because I really didn't want him to do what he was doing.
And you know, maybe I went a little bit overboard and he started like crying.
His feelings were hurt.
And it's like the truth is that at a young age, babies care about their parents so much
that you do have to be careful and make sure that they understand that you love them because
their emotions are very fragile.
That's the reality.
Now turn to 1 Peter chapter 3, 1 Peter chapter 3.
Now when it comes to requirements for being a pastor, the Bible teaches you that you have
to be married and you have to have multiple kids that are found faithful.
And then also there's a whole list of characteristics of things that you have to meet.
It's not just that you have a couple kids and they're at a certain age or whatever.
You have a lot of characteristics.
But realize the two things I'm mentioning kind of tie along with that.
Because if you're going to be a pastor one day, you must know how to rule your own house
well.
And so for you men in this room that want to be pastors one day, what I've heard before
in churches, and I believe this is a good statement, is basically the first church you
ever pastor is your home.
That's what I've been taught.
I think it's a nice quote.
Maybe you shouldn't use the word pastor.
I don't know.
I think it's a good quote.
I understand the thought.
Because honestly, that's when you're learning as you have your wife and your kids because
of the fact the truth is that sometimes church members, the way you say things, you have
to be very careful with what you say.
You have to realize people do make mistakes in life.
And there's a reason why you're getting your practice with your own home with kids and
your wife because you're learning how to be a leader.
And so the truth is that yes, from time to time, people make mistakes at this church.
But if every time somebody made a mistake, I just preached against them by name and said
so and so is wicked.
Brother Ehrman's like the most wicked devil.
He needs to get right with God.
I mean, look, you're not going to have a church that's going to last for very long.
Why?
People will hate you.
It doesn't matter if you're the only church right on salvation in the area.
People will hate your guts if that's the way you talk to people.
You have to learn that when people make mistakes that you just kind of pass over that transgression
and don't worry about it.
See, the way it works when it comes to preaching the Word of God is you preach behind the pulpit
but not outside of the pulpit to those same people.
And you don't specifically make it clear to everybody who you're talking about if there's
some issue.
It's very rare there would be an issue that you have to preach on where you have to make
it clear.
That's a very rare situation.
Look, nobody in this room could stand up and say that I go to you one on one and tell you
you need to burn your clothes, you need to burn your CDs.
I don't do that.
Now, I preach behind the pulpit and tell you what you need to change in your life.
But look, it's your choice whether or not you apply that or not.
It's up to you.
You say, why?
Because the leader does need to be gentle with the people that are following him.
Look, I remember my old company in Maryland.
I was responsible for a lot of big accounts and there would be times where I would make
a mistake and it was very obvious to me that I made a mistake.
I put in a number wrong in Microsoft Excel and the chart should be like 42%.
It's like 75% or something like that.
And then the boss would find out there's a mistake and then you have to re-go back and
re-do the report and make the changes, stay lots of extra hours.
I really like my boss because when I made mistakes, he didn't scream at me.
He just said, hey, I understand, just stay around here, stay a little bit extra today
and get the problem fixed.
It wasn't a big deal.
But if he would scream at me every time I made a mistake, I wouldn't have liked him
very much.
Look, all of us know when we make mistakes.
You don't have to have somebody be rude to you and point that out all the time.
Now you're preaching behind the pulpit, that's a biblical thing.
But I never go outside of the pulpit and all of us should have that same sort of manner
in how we run things.
I will not go outside this pulpit and tell people you're dressed inappropriately.
But no one at this church should do that either.
It's not your place.
Now if you become a pastor one day and you preach sermons, it's up to you how you run
your church.
If you want to just preach judgment every single service, that's up to you.
That's not how we preach here though and I don't go out of bounds.
I'm not going to lord over the people as the Bible says.
That is not right.
And look, in the Philippines, isn't it true that Baptist churches do this though?
They try to run the lives of their members.
Look, as the leader you do not have a right to run other people's lives, nor do I want
to.
Look, I'm worried about my own life.
I have my own problems I need to fix.
I don't want to be doing like overtime trying to just go into other people's homes and say
you got to do this and this and this.
No it's up to you what you apply to your life.
Now notice what it says in 1 Peter 3.
Not only are kids fragile, especially at a young age, but your wife is the weaker vessel.
Notice what it says in 1 Peter 3 verse 5, for after this manner in the old time the
holy women also who trusted in God adorned themselves being in subjection unto their
own husbands.
Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord, whose daughters ye are as long as ye do well,
and are not afraid with any amazement.
Now the Bible says here that Sarah called her husband Lord.
Doesn't mean she was calling him the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, but she's basically
just doing a term of respect.
Now look, I remember somebody a long time ago said when he gets married he's going to
demand his wife calls him Lord.
Look that's a very foolish statement to make.
For one, that's not even something we really do in society now.
We see her doing that in the Bible, but when you're demanding that, even if she said the
word she's not actually going to mean it in her heart.
And when you cross reference, there's not really indication she says this out loud,
that's just kind of the way that she looked at her husband.
But if you want your wives to really respect you and want to follow you, you can't be a
jerk like that.
You have to understand what the Bible teaches here is that wives are the weaker vessel.
Now physically, wives are weaker than men.
I don't really care what the liberal media wants to say.
That's a fact.
Look, I was taught in college, I had this class and it was like an online class during
the summer.
And you had to make discussions on various things and it was a communications class.
And basically the topic was, you know, why are men taller than women and why are they
stronger than women?
There's all these different theories that were out there.
And one of the big theories that they're kind of throwing out there now is that women at
a young age as their children are taught that they're supposed to be shorter than the men
and that they're taught that they're not as strong as the men.
So the result is that men end up becoming stronger and taller.
And it's just like, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life.
And look, this was like a discussion class and you had to say stuff to get points.
So I had to comment and I was like, I really got to be very careful.
Be very maropok.
You know, people are very, you know, maropok.
They're going to be offended by what I say.
I got to be very gentle with what I say.
But I remember, you know, there's this one girl in the class and I never met these people.
It was an online class, but she was like really mad because I said, you know, the Bible teaches
men are stronger.
You know, women are the weaker vessel.
Men are physically stronger than women.
Okay.
Now look, I don't see why that's offensive.
Look, I can make a statement now that women live a longer life than men.
That's just a fact.
And look, I used to work in mortality rates.
That's just a fact.
At every single age in life, from year zero to year one, boys are far more likely to die
than girls.
It's like three times as much or something.
It's far more likely.
And when you look on mortality charts, basically when you get older, you know, obviously you
start to get more fragile.
You're more likely to die as you start to get older.
When you're like 60s, 70s, 80s, more conditions can happen and things like that.
But basically, men are like five years advanced on the mortality rates than women.
So it's basically the same percentages, except guys are five years advanced.
So basically, that's why women live about five years longer than men, depending on what
chart you're looking at, what factors, what country, various different things, a lot of
different factors depending on what country and things such as that.
But obviously, men are stronger.
And I remember this girl, what she responded was, that's not true.
Because at our school, there was a girl who got to be the first one to try out for the
football team, you know, not football as in soccer, but American football.
And you know, the year that she was the field goal kicker on the team, you know, they finished
with the best record they ever had.
And I was just like, are you kidding me?
She was a field goal kicker.
It's like, you know, I'm sorry, but it's not exactly the toughest position in American
football.
Okay.
And it's just like, look, it's just a fact that doesn't make men better than women.
It just means men are physically stronger than women.
At the same point, I'm not going to ever give birth to a child.
It's just reality because men and women are different.
And that's the answer.
God created men and women different.
That's what the Bible teaches.
But not only are women, you know, the weaker vessel physically, but also emotionally as
well.
Okay.
And look, people that study this, you know, it's honestly just, you know, a fact scientifically
that they don't even deny that women are more emotional than men.
Now that's just the way that God created us.
And so you have to understand that when you're married, it is possible sometimes your wife
will get emotional and say something that makes you mad.
You say, what do you do, brother Stuckey?
Do you fight fire with fire?
Well, you are the stronger vessel.
So what it means is you need to learn not to say anything.
That's what you need to do.
And you have to understand, even if she says something that offends you and hurts you,
if you say something, it will hurt like five times as much.
You say why?
Because women are the weaker vessel.
That is what the Bible teaches.
And so honestly, when it comes to James chapter three, maybe it's not the most preached on
chapter in the Bible.
It's not preaching against any false heretics.
But honestly, that's going to help you out with your relationships, your marriage, your
relationship with your kids.
If we learn to control our tongues, you must understand that women are the weaker vessel.
Now turn to Ephesians chapter six, Ephesians chapter six.
And when it comes to being gentle with things that are fragile, another thing you need to
understand is you need to be gentle with things that you know can really hurt.
Let me give you an example.
If I went to the gym and I had five pound dumbbells, okay, I'm not really that concerned,
okay, of getting really hurt.
You say why?
Five pound dumbbells are pretty light, okay?
But if I was holding like 60 pound dumbbells, I'm going to be a lot more careful with those.
You know, five pound dumbbell, maybe as a guy, you can toss in the air, catch it, no
big deal.
Look, a 60 pound dumbbell, maybe Brother Bo could do that.
Not me.
Brother Bo or Brother Em and not me, though.
I'm holding with both hands, being very careful.
You say why?
Because honestly, if that falls on you, it's going to hurt a lot.
I remember I was at the gym one time back in West Virginia, and I was putting the dumbbell
back on the rack, or the barbell, I was putting it back on the rack, and I didn't fully put
it on, it was half on, half off, and it started to fall, and my natural reaction was to try
to catch it.
And it's like, in hindsight, it's like, what a dumb thing to do.
And it wasn't even heavy, it was like 10 pounds, but I remember it just really crushed my fingernail.
And it was just blood coming out and everything, really painful, I had to ice it, I had to
quit lifting that day and everything like that.
You say why?
Because even 10 pounds, if it falls in the right spot, it's going to really hurt.
You have to understand in life, there are certain things that you should not say especially,
because certain things might really hurt.
An example would be like when David made a point to say to his wife, hey, your dad's
dead, and I'm married to a lot of women.
Those are pretty much the worst things he could say, and you can see that he's being
very foolish.
But there are certain things, and you know, I don't know what those things are in your
life, but husbands, wives, or parents and kids, you might know certain things that are
very sensitive topics, and you need to be very careful not to bring those up.
Because when you're bringing those up, your whole purpose is to hurt their feelings.
And look, it might feel fun for like 10 seconds, you will regret it.
It's not going to make things better, it's going to make things worse, okay?
Notice what it says in Ephesians 6, verse 4, Ephesians chapter 6, verse 4, it says in
me, fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and
admonition of the Lord.
And as most of you probably know, this is my favorite verse when it comes to parenting
and being a father, because I remember when our son was being born, I had a lot of questions.
You know, when you're 18 years old, 20 years old, you have all the answers.
And then when it's like a month away from your child being born, and our son was born
like a month early, and so all of a sudden it just came unexpectedly.
Our son was born like a month early.
My wife was only just around eight months, and I was like, oh man, I'm not prepared.
This last month I was going to be cramming on figuring out what I need to do.
And then you have a lot of questions, and you're like, wow, this is a little bit more
difficult than I expected.
And so this verse is honestly, was very encouraging to me, because I really realized of being
a good father, you can really break it down to two categories.
And that is that you provide nurture and admonition.
If you forsake one of these things, you might provoke your children to wrath.
But basically if I spend time with my son, and I love my son, and I correct him if he
does wrong, then he will love me, and I will have his heart.
There's a problem though if all you do is spend lots of time and never provide discipline.
Your kid's going to be rebellious, it's going to cause problems.
But if you go the other way, and you're not very gentle with your kids, and you spank
you know on command when necessary, but you never spend time with your kids, you don't
show them that you care about them, you don't show them that you love them, all your free
time is just on YouTube listening to sermons, all your free time is just on Facebook keeping
up with your friends or whatever, keeping up with what's going on in the new IFB, look
your kids, you're going to provoke them to wrath.
They're not actually going to care about you.
And if you want your kids to love you, you provide nurture and admonition.
And so you can't just be a military leader and not be loving to your kids, that's going
to be a big mistake as well.
Now turn in your Bible to 2 Timothy chapter 2, 2 Timothy chapter 2.
Now as I mentioned in the introduction, there are only 9 verses in the Bible that have the
word gentle or gentleness.
And so by nature this is really meant to be a bit of a shorter sermon, but I do have a
few more points.
And so we're going to kind of cover something that I kind of talked about like a month ago,
and I wasn't really meaning to cover the same sort of material, but it just kind of came
up.
Now we're going to talk about the teaching principles, but maybe honestly it's a good
time to talk about teaching principles, because many of you men will be taking turns preaching
down in Pampongas.
We have a lot of men going down there to preach, and honestly it's important that you have
good teaching and preaching understandings of what you need to do.
And one of the things mentioned is in 2 Timothy 2 verse 24 where the Bible reads, and the
servant of the Lord must not strive, but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient.
Now apt to teach means having the ability to teach.
In the context, part of the ability to teach is being gentle.
So when you preach sermons, you're very gentle with the people you're preaching to.
Now look, we're obviously not talking about if there's somebody who's like a Satan worshiper
here, I need to be very gentle as I preach about Halloween, not to offend them.
That's not what I'm talking about.
What I am saying is this, that not everybody from day one is just like, man, I'm new IFB,
I got this check mark, this check mark, this check mark, this check mark, this check mark.
In reality, a lot of people will visit this church that don't know what new IFB means.
They don't know what IFB means, and they might not even know what Baptist means.
And look, if you're not gentle as you're trying to instruct and teach people, they're going
to end up leaving.
Now look, the reality is that when I kind of came to this sort of preaching, and I was
an independent fundamental Baptist for about four years, the reason why I really gravitated
to Pastor Anderson's preaching back in 2008 was not because he was preaching really hard
against sin, but because I was learning a lot in the sermons.
I remember the first sermon I listened to, because I came across him just by chance when
he was preaching against Billy Graham, but I didn't start listening to him then.
But I remember just kind of randomly going, I saw he answered a question in a forum, and
I kind of went to his website, and I listened to John chapter three.
And the reason why I listened to John chapter three is you need to test out somebody that's
new.
You don't just start listening to them unless you know what they believe about salvation.
So I went to John three, and I said, well, let's see if he says repentance of sins, because
I knew that was work salvation.
Let's see what he says about repentance of sins and lordship salvation.
And I listened to John chapter three, and I don't think it was like the most hardcore
sermon ever, but I remember learning a lot, and I thought I knew that chapter pretty well.
And I was like, man, because I had been listening to preaching for a long time and learning
nothing.
And so I started listening to his preaching.
In reality, though, some of his really hard sermons against the Sodomites, I was like,
whoa, why does this guy hate the Sodomites so much?
I mean, I don't like the Sodomites particularly, but you know, man, you're preaching the death
penalty and all these things, like, man, maybe he should calm down a little bit.
I thought it was too extreme, but I still listened because I was learning a lot.
Do you realize that most people, when they first start hearing this preaching, they will
think the preaching against the LGBT is too extreme?
You say, why?
Because they watch Vice Gonda on TV.
Of course they'll think it's too extreme.
They'll say, he's just making jokes on TV.
He's not being really real.
He's not being honest.
I remember that a long time ago in America, there was this basketball player named Tim
Hardaway.
Does anybody know Tim Hardaway?
He kind of made big news because he said, they asked him, how would you like to have
a gay teammate?
And he's like, oh, I don't want a gay teammate.
He's like, I don't want to have him on my team.
I'd ask them to trade him.
If they won't trade him, I'd ask them to trade me.
And then the guy was asking that question, like, whoa, that's like bigotry.
How could you say that?
He's like, well, I don't care.
I hate gay people.
That's what he said.
He said, I hate gay people.
And, you know, he lost his job at ESPN for saying that.
And that was 10 years ago, even much more so now.
But I remember there was like a famous sodomite in America.
He was, I don't remember his name.
He was on Star Trek.
He was, I think his name might've been Sulu, but he became a very famous, he's a very famous
sodomite in America.
And he's very vulgar and out there.
And he made a video on one of the late night shows where he made a joke about basically
raping Tim Hardaway.
And everybody thought it was the funniest thing.
And he goes on and on about it.
It's disgusting.
I wouldn't share with you the video, but he goes on and on about it.
And you can look at the comments and say, oh, that's so funny.
What a funny joke, blah, blah, blah.
To us, we're like, he's not joking.
He's not joking.
And they think it's funny.
But the reality is that people, when they visit this for the first time, they're going
to think he's just joking.
Calm down.
Yeah, I'm a Baptist, but man, calm down.
You don't have to be that harsh.
I remember when my wife and I first started talking, and I talked to her about all the
things that I believe, but I was very gentle with how I shared with my wife these things.
And honestly, she learned the reprobate doctrine when she was in a jipney.
And everything I had said to her, all of a sudden it clicked when she saw it from a couple
sodomites that are on that jipney.
You have to realize that when this is new to people, it doesn't mean from day one they're
going to believe it.
And there was a lot of doctrines I taught her.
You know, when it came to the post-trib rapture, she watched after the tribulation a few times.
And she was still pre-trib.
You say, Brother Stuckey, did you tell her, you're an idiot, you're blah, blah, blah,
blah?
No, I didn't do that.
You say, why?
Because I like my wife.
And because I was hoping we could get married one day.
And so I was very gentle.
You say, why?
Because a lot of this was new to her.
And honestly, the reality is, especially for men, this is important because a lot of you
are going to end up talking to some girl in the next few years or something like that.
Don't expect her to be perfect from day one on everything.
You are going to be a fool if you say, well, if you don't believe this, then we're done.
It's like, if you don't burn your pair of jeans after the service, we're done.
You heard the sermon.
You heard that sermon.
If you don't apply it to your life, now we're done.
You will never get married.
That's the reality.
You will never get married if that's what you do.
And look, if that's the way you would respond, I would wonder, do you have everything in
your life perfect?
See, there's a phrase that goes, you catch more bees with honey, or you catch more flies
with honey.
Basically, what it's saying is that if you're nice, you're going to be catching stuff more.
If you want to catch them, be nice.
If you want your wife to love you and care about you, you're going to be gentle.
If you want your kids to care about you, you're gentle.
And when you're teaching or preaching sermons, your goal should not be preaching the most
hardcore sermon of all time.
If that is your goal, you're going to be basically a really shallow preacher, and people will
get sick of your preaching after a while.
See, you have to understand, a sermon on the sodomites is cool from time to time, but if
every week that's the preaching, it's going to get old after a while.
There's so much in the Bible to teach, and I was thinking about this recently because
this church has been around for almost a year, and I was really thinking about all the things
I've preached on, and think in your mind, have I preached on everything in the Bible?
I really haven't.
And what I realized was, wow, the Bible's a lot more in-depth than I thought, because
I know of certain topics I've not really preached on, and I'm not avoiding those topics.
I have a preaching calendar to make sure I don't miss topics, but honestly, there's just
so much to talk about.
There's so much to talk about, and honestly, you have to understand that it's not always
just a hardcore sermon.
Part of teaching is to be gentle.
Yes, you're bold, you preach hard.
There are those sermons, but there's also time to be gentle as well, and that's part
of the ability to preach.
Verse number 25, in meekness instructing those that oppose themselves, if God peradventure
will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth.
Now let me give you just a couple quick examples of how we should be gentle when we're teaching.
Now turn to Matthew chapter 10, Matthew 10, and one area we're gentle in is when we go
soul winning, we need to be gentle with the people that we're talking about, talking to,
and you're going to see this in Matthew chapter 10.
Obviously, you have to understand, when we go soul winning, we're saying some pretty
harsh things to people.
What you're literally telling people is, right now you're going to burn in hell, and if you
don't change what you believe, you're going to burn in hell forever with no second chance.
That's what you're actually saying, but that's not what you say, okay?
Do you understand the difference?
That is what you're saying, but you package that in a nice and gentle way because it's
the good news you're trying to share, and yes, you do have to show people they're on
their way to hell, but there's a way to do it without being a jerk.
Notice what it says in Matthew 10 verse 12, and when you come into a house, salute it.
Now when it comes to the military, you salute people.
It's a sign of respect, okay?
When we go door to door and we knock on their door, you realize you're an unintended guest.
They didn't know you were coming, and if they don't want to talk, you don't be rude to them.
You just move on to the next door, verse 13, and if the house be worthy, let your peace
come upon it, but if it be not worthy, let your peace return to you, and whosoever shall
not receive you nor hear your words, when you depart out of that house or city, shake
off the dust of your feet.
The Bible says if they're not willing to hear your words, you don't spread the gospel of
peace to them.
You let your peace return to you.
You move on to the next door.
I remember once in Sacramento, I was going soul winning on a day, and usually my rule
was not knocking before 10 in the morning because it's kind of considered a little bit
rude if you knock before 10.
Maybe it's too early, but I remember I had a really busy day, and I said, wow, 9.30 because
I wanted to get in a certain amount of soul winning before I had my busy schedule, and
I remember I knocked on someone's door, and they were angry.
They were so mad at me.
They yelled at me.
I barely got to say anything, and I'd say, all right, thank you, sir, have a nice day,
and I walked away.
Well, I was still finishing that map the next day.
I went back in that neighborhood.
That guy basically came.
He was at his house, and he yelled at me from across the street, and I'm thinking, oh my
goodness.
It's like I avoided this guy yesterday.
Now he's going to yell at me, and I was coming over.
I had already decided I'm going to be nice to this guy, and he's like, I just want to
apologize to you.
He said, I was in a bad mood yesterday.
He's like, I was very rude to you.
I'm sorry for what I said to you.
I'm sorry for yelling at you, and I did try to ask him to invite him to church, and he's
like, well, he's like, I'm not interested, but I just wanted to apologize for how I acted.
You realize that when you knock on someone's door, you start talking to someone.
They don't expect you to come, and they don't have a memorized answer of this is how I'm
going to respond.
Maybe they are rude to you from time to time.
That doesn't mean that they won't listen, though, in six months from now.
It's possible they're going through some problem in life, and maybe that's why they're in a
bad mood.
If you're rude to them, they're never going to listen to anyone from our church.
That's why if it doesn't go well, you're still nice to them, because you can still plant
a seed, and later on, you can try to water that seed or re-preach the gospel.
That's what you're seeing here in Matthew 10.
Now, the best example of being a jerk out soul winning is Ray Comfort.
Now who knows Ray Comfort?
Now Ray Comfort is part of the program Way of the Master, and look, I've heard it said
it's called Way of the Bastards, and I think that's a good term, because that is a Bible
term, except when I thought about it, Ray Comfort's not fatherless.
He does have a father, but his father's not God.
He's not a child of God.
He's preaching a false gospel, and you say, how can you say that about him?
He is the number one person pushing a work of salvation out there, the number one person,
and you have to preach it, because Baptists have been confused on this guy.
The reality is many Baptists use his methods, and look, he is a jerk when he goes soul winning,
and you can watch the demonstrations online.
A husband and wife will answer the door, and he'll say hello, he's Ray Comfort and everything
like that, and then he'll ask a man right in front of his wife, have you ever lusted
after a woman before?
You're being a jerk.
What is your purpose?
See, our purpose when we preach the gospel is that for all have sinned and come short
of the glory of God.
Look, you don't have to go through every single one of the Ten Commandments and just try to
hammer them and make them feel like a miserable person.
All they have to do is realize that they deserve help, and Revelation 21, 8, we highlight all
liars.
You know why God says all liars?
Because we don't think of lying as being that serious, and that is a phrase right there
where you can lump every single person, including yourself, into that.
All liars.
That includes me, that includes you, that includes every single one of us.
When you go soul winning, if you're spending like 10 minutes just talking about how they're
a miserable, wicked person, and then you just say, well, you ready to repent?
That's ridiculous.
How is that the good news?
How's that good news?
You're being a jerk.
Now, look, you can go to extremes though, because that is called being a jerk, and that's
on one extreme, but you can also be far too gentle soul winning as well.
Let me give you an example.
Somebody this week asked me about the four spiritual laws.
Who has heard about the four spiritual laws before?
Anybody?
They have them on these invitations, and it was funny he asked me this question because
I'm actually pretty familiar with this, because when I first started going soul winning, I
was learning from Campus Crusade, and Bill Bright, the leader of Campus Crusade, is the
one who wrote those things, the four spiritual laws.
Nobody taught me how to go soul winning, so when I started preaching the Gospel, I kind
of went with no instruction, and I thought I was getting a lot of people saved.
I remember going to the mountain lair at West Virginia, and I remember just like in an hour
and a half, I thought I got like eight people saved, and there were seven different conversations.
There's one conversation of two people, the other was one person.
Realize that in an hour and a half, eight people saved seven different times you're
preaching the Gospel.
Those soul winning presentations are ... You say, why do you always preach against short
soul winning presentations?
Because I know, because I used to do it before I knew any better, and when I learned, I changed.
But basically the four spiritual laws you start off with, God has a wonderful plan for
your life.
Do you believe God has a wonderful plan for your life?
You do?
I do too, and then you go to the next point, and there's nothing about how the fact that
you need a savior.
Jesus Christ is our savior, meaning he's saving us from hell, so that is far too gentle because
you're not showing them that they deserve hell.
So being gentle when you're teaching the Gospel is when you're basically able to say harsh
things in a nice way so you don't offend them.
Now there are times when you preach the Gospel and they don't get saved.
I want people, when I walk away, to understand what I'm saying, even if they don't believe
it.
I preached for 40 minutes to a cult member the other day on Thursday in case of Memorial
Circle, and I made it very clear when I walked away exactly what I was saying and that he
needed to change what he believed to go to heaven, because if he doesn't realize he needs
a savior, he'll never get saved.
But I did it in a nice way, and at the end he told me, I want to visit your church one
day.
He shook my hand, and he was not mad at me.
Now I'm not saying that people will never get offended, because sometimes you do teach,
and the Gospel's offensive to some people that want to really trust in their works.
But what I'm saying is you shouldn't intend to offend people.
What you're trying to do is show them that they're guilty, and then I don't even like
that part of the Gospel.
I like going to the good news and explaining that it's believe only, it's eternal life,
it's a gift.
You don't want to spend too much time on that.
Otherwise, you're going to be a bit of a jerk if you spend too much time, but you can't
be too gentle either.
Now turn to Isaiah 58, Isaiah 58.
Isaiah 58.
One example is when we go soul winning.
When you're out soul winning, you need to understand what is your goal out soul winning.
Your goal is to get people to change their mind about what they believe.
In order for them to change their mind about what they believe, though, there's steps to
that.
They must understand they need a savior, and to understand they need a savior, they must
understand they're guilty.
Yes, you start with the bad news, and then you go on to the good news.
But when you're presenting the bad news, you don't have to just rail on them.
You don't park it on Revelation 21 8 about idolatry and ask, did you go to the Feast
of the Black Nazarene last year?
And then just start railing on them.
It's like, show them they're guilty.
And I'm not saying you can't mention idolatry, because sometimes I do if I'm talking to someone
who's Catholic, but you don't have to make them feel like they're a jerk or a wicked
person.
Always include yourself in that and make them realize, hey, you know what?
I'm guilty as well.
I've sinned.
Everybody's guilty.
We all need a savior.
Now in Isaiah 58 verse one, the Bible reads, cry aloud, spare not, lift up thy voice like
a trumpet, and show my people their transgression, and the house of Jacob their sins.
And so in Isaiah 58 verse one, it talks about crying aloud, lifting up your voice like a
trumpet.
When it says spare not, it means you don't hold anything back.
So when we preach the word of God, we hold nothing back.
We preach and teach everything.
But your goal should not be to preach and teach in the most extreme way possible.
You're trying to adequately show what the Bible says, and quite honestly, you catch
more flies with honey.
If you are more gentle, it will have more of an impact, okay?
Now turn in your Bible to 2 Corinthians 10.
We'll look at just a few more places.
2 Corinthians 10, 2 Corinthians chapter 10.
Now this is a balance that is pretty hard to figure out as a preacher, to be honest,
where you're trying to be bold and yet gentle at the same time.
But you need to understand that yes, you preach everything, but quite honestly, you need to
be very careful not to be too bold, and honestly, what I've seen in terms of people that are
kind of like-minded in churches like this, they're more likely to go to the extreme of
being too bold and too aggressive and too harsh, and you've got to be very careful to
have this balance, okay?
And it depends on the sermon as well.
I mean, today's sermon is on gentleness.
It's not going to be the most hardcore sermon ever just by nature of the type of sermon
it is, okay?
You don't have a goal to make it more hardcore.
2 Corinthians 10 verse one, the Bible reads, 2 Corinthians chapter 10 verse one, now I
Paul myself beseech you by the meekness and gentleness of Christ, who in presence and
base among you, but being absent and bold toward you.
And so lastly, I want to look at the link between gentleness and meekness, and Paul
says that he is meek and gentle.
He talks about the meekness and gentleness of Christ.
These things are linked together.
Now, as I mentioned, being meek is basically like humbleness in action.
It's humbleness in terms of how you deal with other people as opposed to with yourself.
But basically when you're preaching, you want to basically preach in a way where you're
kind of humble to the people you're preaching to.
That also goes along with including yourself in these things.
For example, you're preaching on a sermon about how you need to read the Bible every
day and love God's word.
You need to find a way to include yourself in there and say, you know, hey, I struggle
with this as well.
For me personally, I don't have to fake it because I do struggle with those things.
And so I do struggle with the things that I preach on oftentimes, and you include yourself
in.
So you want to make yourself up and make yourself like you're better than everybody else because
you're trying to teach people and get them to grow.
And the way to do that is actually be gentle and meek.
Now turn to 1 Corinthians 1.
1 Corinthians 1.
Now in 1 Corinthians 1, you're turning there, but also in 2 Corinthians 10, what it mentioned
is who in presence and base among you, and we're going to see this phrase in 1 Corinthians
1.
Base is basically something that's kind of like rejected or very lowly.
Notice what it says in 1 Corinthians 1, verse 27, but God has chosen the foolish things
of the world to confound the wise.
And God has chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty.
1 Corinthians 1, 28, and base things of the world and things which are despised have God
chosen ye and things which are not to bring to not things that are.
So what Paul says was the base things of the world.
And so when he said earlier who in presence and base among you, what he's basically saying
is this, that if Paul the apostle walked into this church today, let's say he lived 2,000
years in the future and he walked into church, you would not know he was the greatest soul
winner who ever lived.
You wouldn't know that because he would just be a normal, humble person that would just
be talking to you as a friend.
You wouldn't know that he knew the Bible better than anyone in church.
You wouldn't know that he probably spent more time in prayer and was more zealous than anyone
because he was humble individually and that results in meekness in how you interact with
people.
And what that does is make you look like you're nothing special and none of us really are
anything special.
He did not lift himself above everybody.
And honestly, that should be your goal personally.
Your goal is not to let people know about all your Bible knowledge or how zealous you
are soul winning, but just be nice to people and friendly and be a normal, ordinary person.
I believe if Paul the apostle lived in today's world, he would love this church because it's
the same sort of preaching they had back then in the Bible.
But we would not know that he was Paul the apostle or somebody special.
He would just be a normal, ordinary person.
And look, when you preach sermons, this is something that we have to learn because when
I first started preaching, you know, it's something you're trying, you expect people
to know things maybe that you know or something like that.
And sometimes you preach in a way where basically, you know, it's not a very gentle and meek
way.
It's kind of an arrogant way and something that honestly takes practice.
And so it's something that for you guys that are preaching, it's something to work on because
if you want to be good at preaching, there's this mix of being bold, but also to be gentle
and meek at the same time.
Now turn to Titus 3, this is the last place we'll look.
You're turning to Titus 3 and as you're turning there, the last thing that was mentioned in
2 Corinthians 10 was, but being absent and bold toward you.
And what Paul is saying is this, that, yeah, you know what?
You looked at me as like I was pretty lowly, like this guy is not the preacher we thought
he was.
I thought this guy was turning the world upside down for Christ.
This is the great missionary, everybody's supporting, everybody talks about Paul, and
yet he seems pretty lowly to me.
And then what he said was, in absence, he's very bold.
Why?
Because the book of 1 Corinthians is pretty bold.
He laid down the hammer.
What is that showing you?
Paul did not want to have to be a jerk.
He wanted to be humble and meek, but there comes a time where you got to lay down the
hammer.
And it's the same with anybody who preaches.
Your goal should be to try to preach in a gentle and meek way, to teach and be bold,
but basically preach in a nice and gentle way.
But from time to time, yeah, there's 1 Corinthians involved.
There's time to time somebody gets kicked out of church for some sin that's mentioned
in 1 Corinthians 5 or one of those things such as that.
But his normal reaction was just to try to be gentle and meek.
Look at Titus 3 verse 2, Titus 3 verse 2, to speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers,
but gentle, showing all meekness onto all men.
And notice gentleness and meekness, those things are going together.
Now let me just try to explain to you because I don't want you to be confused about what
I'm saying.
Let's say I preached a sermon against a famous cult, a whole sermon against one of the cults
like Jehovah's Witnesses or something like that.
Look I'm not going to be very soft and say, well, they don't really believe in the resurrection
like us.
I'll be very bold, but I want you to understand something.
If a Jehovah's Witness happened to walk in here and hear the sermon, they need to understand
they're not saved.
And so yeah, you know what, I would be very bold in that sermon, but the reason is because
I'm trying to help teach you.
And look, I don't think anyone in this room is struggling with Jehovah's Witness doctrines.
Like you secretly believe that Jesus is not God.
I seriously doubt that in this room.
You believe that Jesus only spiritually rose again, even though they didn't find him in
the grave.
I doubt anybody's struggling with those doctrines, okay?
And so that's not really something I have to be as gentle on because nobody's going
to struggle with that in this room.
There are topics where you have to say things in a bit of a nice way because you realize
that the Bible teaches gentleness, it is part of the fruits of the Spirit.
And honestly, it's something in the mix of being good at teaching.
But just to recap, just in our personal lives, two things especially you should be gentle
with are with your children and with your marriage.
And honestly, you know, physically, obviously you have to be gentle, but honestly, the words
are more powerful and you need to be very gentle with those emotions because you could
really offend someone.
Let's close in a word of prayer.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for allowing us to be here today and ask you to help us
apply this sermon to our lives, including myself, and it's not the most hardcore sermon,
God, but it is part of the fruits of the Spirit and something we all need to work on to be
very careful with the things we say, very gentle, and realize there are emotions, you
know, at play here, God, and especially with our kids and with our marriages and things
such as that, God, but also ask you to help bless all these young men that are willing
to volunteer their time to preach in Pampanga from time to time or even stand up here to
preach from time to time.
Help them just to get more experience preaching, God, and help them strike the proper balance
with boldness and gentleness and myself included, God, and help us just get better and better
and continue to bless our church.
We pray this in Jesus' name.
Amen.