We're here in Ephesians chapter 6 and verse number 4 in this chapter is basically our text verse with the sermon.
And the name of the sermon is Ephesians 6 for Father. Let me just tell you why I'm preaching this sermon on this verse specifically.
I remember that when I was about to become a father, you know before you're becoming a father you kind of think you have everything figured out.
It's really easy. I got this all figured out. I don't want to do this and this and this.
My son is going to grow up and be the smartest kid and the most athletic and everything.
But you know then all of a sudden once you start getting closer to that day you start thinking oh wow what about this, what about this, what about this.
There's a lot of lessons to learn in each and every passage of the week. Every father in this room can tell you that.
And so I remember this verse specifically was a big comfort to me because it really boils down to what it means to be a good father.
And honestly this sermon is really going to be really simple because I don't want to make it too complex.
Obviously you can preach sermons and go really in depth on all the things you need to do.
But if you want to be a good father there's really just two things mentioned in this verse.
We're going to look at four points but it's really not that complicated.
Yes you're going to make mistakes as a dad. No you're not going to be perfect.
But if you just provide a few basic things for your kids you're going to do a good job.
I want you to notice here in verse a report how it says,
How many fathers provoke not your children to wrath or bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?
And the first point is simply this, that there is a responsibility of the father to raise their kids.
Notice how it says provoke not your children to wrath. This is in the imperative form, the command form.
This is something God is telling you. He says don't provoke your children to wrath.
See there is a responsibility on the fathers to raise those kids.
If God has blessed you with children he expects you to raise them.
This does not just mean that yes you make the money you provide, you come home and you adore your kids and don't spend any time with them.
No that would be going against what the Bible says here.
Because the Bible says that you have a personal responsibility to raise those kids.
It's not just your wife, it's also you as the father.
Turn to Proverbs 22.
So what we saw in Ephesians 6 it says provoke not and it also says bring them up.
These are things that are commands. They are in the imperative form.
It's something God is commanding you to do. It's not optional, it's a command.
God commands you to be responsible for those kids and to do a few things.
Notice what it says in Proverbs 22 verse 6.
Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.
So in this verse it says train up a child.
Once again this is a command. It's in the imperative form.
You are to train up your children.
Now yes this is for both men and women, husbands and wives, fathers and mothers.
But obviously we're preaching to fathers here as it's father's day.
And what the Bible says is this, that you are supposed to train your children.
And the promise is that when they're old they will not depart from it.
There's this kind of attitude that goes along with everything in life where if things don't work out it's always just an accident.
It's always just kind of random that it happens. It's not my fault.
You know if your kids all grow up and they're all a bunch of drunks and drug addicts.
Hey it's not my fault. I did everything that I could do.
But see the Bible says in Proverbs 22 verse 6 that if you train up your children in the way of the Lord and in the right way they will not depart from it.
If they grow old. That's what the Bible says.
Turn to 1 Thessalonians 2.
And when it comes to the most basic thing, I mean obviously you should get your kids to be safe.
What's amazing is that a lot of times people's kids grow up.
And they grow up in a Baptist church and they just kind of assume well you know my son heard the gospel like a million times at church.
You know I'm sure he got saved. He prayed that prayer when he was five years old.
And a lot of people's kids grow up and they don't even get saved.
That's the most basic thing.
And that's something they can understand.
They can understand a gift. They can understand these things. It's pretty basic.
And yet a lot of times your parents just kind of leave the responsibility of preaching the gospel to just being at church and hoping to get it.
It's like I would hope that you take that responsibility upon yourself.
Because I know how thankful I was when I got saved.
And I certainly want to pass on that message to my child.
First and foremost.
And yet you know often times kids grow up in independent fundamental Baptist churches.
They never get saved. They become reprobates and they hate the Lord.
That is so common.
How many Baptist pastors kids do you see do that exact thing?
It happens all the time.
They don't even get their kids saved.
Look that's the most basic thing to teach your kids.
It's about salvation.
But I guess if you're never around them.
And you're spending all your time with other people instead of your kids.
Then maybe that could end up happening.
You see the Bible says you are to train up your children.
It does not say the public school system.
It does not say gay care.
It says no you are to train up your children.
Because the husband, the wife, the mom, the dad.
They carry together to raise their kids.
Now turn to 1 Thessalonians 2.
1 Thessalonians 2.
Notice what it says in verse number 11.
As you know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you.
As a father dot his children.
So what Paul the apostle says is.
That basically we did the same thing as a father would do to his children.
Now I have no doubt that Paul the apostle probably led a lot of these people to the Lord.
And if not leading a lot to the Lord.
I'm sure he trained them from being Christians.
Helped teach them the word of God.
Helped them grow spiritually.
And so when you lead someone to the Lord.
And you help train and teach them the word of God.
You're basically their spiritual father.
And you're training that child.
And so what the Bible says in verse 11 though.
As a father dot his children.
As a father is supposed to exhort and comfort and charge their children.
That's what the Bible says.
The responsibility is always put upon the father.
Upon the mother.
Upon the parents.
Now there's this famous book by Hillary Clinton.
Where she said.
I think she wrote a book.
It takes a village to raise a child.
Basically you can't just have mom and dad.
You need the whole village.
The whole town.
We sit together and just agree together on should we vaccinate your kids.
We agree together on are they going to be in the public school system or home school.
We agree together to raise these kids.
Because mom and dad are not capable of raising their own kids.
That's what she was saying.
Basically that you know what.
You're not capable.
You need the public school system.
You need the day care.
You need all these other things.
You know I believe that if God has blessed you with children.
Then that means you have the ability to raise those kids.
And those kids were given to you.
They were not given to some reprobate politician.
And they weren't given to the public school system.
No they were given to you to raise those kids.
And look that should be something that we should be excited about.
As fathers and mothers of God have blessed you with children.
God has given you children to raise.
And here's the truth.
If you don't take that responsibility seriously.
It's very unlikely those kids are going to turn out right.
If you don't take the time and the effort to raise those kids.
Then you know what.
Who knows what's going to happen.
So you say well they're in church.
Hey brother sucker you preach hard against sin.
You teach how we need to read the Bible and go sobering.
Surely my kids will turn out right if they're just in church.
No that's not what the Bible says.
And look throughout the Bible at God these people whose kids did not turn out right.
You say why.
Well they probably just didn't spend enough time with them.
That's the reason why.
The responsibility is upon us as fathers.
Now you might be in this room and you might say how does this apply to me.
I'm a mom.
I'm not a father though.
Well I mean if you want your husband to do a good job raising your kids.
Then you need to be a good mom at a good time.
And that's going to make his job a lot easier.
If you're a single guy in this room or you don't have any kids yet.
This is good information for you to know ahead of time.
On how to be a good father.
I mean you want to be prepared to do stuff.
But you would not step into a boxing match with someone who is trained.
If you have no experience.
That would be foolish.
It doesn't matter how strong you are.
If you have no experience.
You're not going to do very well.
And there's nothing more important than raising your kids.
And so if you're going to raise your kids.
You want to be prepared ahead of time.
Or you might be a young lady in this room.
And as you're hearing a sermon about what it means to be a good father.
Hey marry somebody who's actually going to fit what this says.
Make the right choices in an hour.
Turning your Bible back to Ephesians 6.
And in Ephesians 6 I want you to see our second point.
One thing the Bible tells us we need to provide to our children as fathers.
It says that you are to nurture your children.
It says bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
So basically bring them up in the nurture of the Lord.
Okay.
And so when you say nurture.
This implies that you're actually spending time and caring about your kids.
You're nurturing them.
Now turn to 1 Thessalonians 2.
1 Thessalonians 2.
And in the Bible you'll see the word nurse.
And in the Bible what you see nurse is basically someone who's taking care of a young baby.
Okay.
She was then nursed for that child.
The Bible would say.
And so when it says in 1 Thessalonians chapter 2.
It gives us more insight on that.
Where it says in verse 7.
Well we are gentle among you even as a nurse cherishes her children.
And see as a nurse or even as a mom that would raise their young babies.
They cherish that child.
Okay.
But this is not just something for the wife or the mom to do.
This is something for the husband to cherish that child as well.
To nurture that child.
To spend time with that child.
One thing that we see is that sometimes people have this attitude.
That it's just the mom's responsibility to spend time with that child.
And to care about that child.
That is not what the Bible teaches us.
And look if you're a husband that just never spends time with your kids.
You're teaching your child that you don't really care about them.
That's what you're telling them.
If you come home from work and all you do is sit around on TV or YouTube all day.
And you never spend any time with your kids.
You're telling your kids that YouTube is more important than them.
Yeah.
And I'll tell you what.
Say what?
Because honestly online preaching can be a problem here.
Because if all you do is listen to online preaching and never spend any time with your kids.
You're basically teaching your kids that that is more important than them.
What's going to happen?
That child is probably going to rebel against God.
Right.
Why?
Because in their mind God is basically taking them away from spending time with their kids.
And so you have to realize that if you have kids.
Look we need to do more than just listen to sermons.
Right.
When you come home.
When you have kids you need to do more than just go home and read your Bible.
Yes you need to read your Bible.
But you need to spend time with your children.
Right.
So don't just come home and never spend any time with them.
What's going to happen is they're going to end up rebelling against you.
And they're not going to love you.
They're not going to care about you.
Why?
Because you never spend any time with them.
One thing that you see often with parents is that when parents are raising their kids
they spend all of their lives trying to make money.
And then they reach a point where they're near retirement.
And they think they're going to spend all this time with their children.
The children don't want to spend time with their parents again.
Right.
You say why?
Well because you never had any time for me.
I'm busy with work now.
Why would I make time for you?
I see that so often.
And it's like parents are shocked and it's like do you not remember that you didn't spend any time with your kids?
Uh huh.
And you wonder why your kids don't want to spend any time with you.
Look it's not rocket science.
If you didn't spend time with them growing up.
If you didn't have time to go to their basketball game.
You didn't have time to just play catch and park or whatever.
Or go out on a walk with them.
Why would they want to spend lots of time with you as they get older?
And that's what we see a lot of times happen.
Turn to Ephesians 5.
Ephesians 5.
And what it says in Ephesians 5 verse 28.
And see the Bible says here about nourishing and cherishing your own body.
And look every guy out there they're going to try to take care of their own body.
They're going to do what you know is important to them and what they think is beneficial to them.
You know we care about our own bodies.
And see it says nourish and cherish it.
That's the same thing we're supposed to provide to our children.
And if we're going to care about ourselves we should do the exact same thing for our children as well.
Turn to Psalms 103.
Now I'll tell you what this sermon is encouraging because it's pretty simple.
Because basically the first one we have is just that you spend time with your children.
Which you don't have to study calculus for five years to figure out how to meet a good father.
I mean spend time with your children.
That's pretty simple.
But it's not easy.
That's the way it is in the Christian life.
Things are simple to understand.
God doesn't make it hard to understand what we need to do.
But it's not easy to do.
Because when you work 8, 9, 10 hours in a day.
You come home.
Guess what?
You're tired.
It's a lot easier to just stay home and just turn on YouTube.
And just be like I'm just tired.
I'm exhausted.
But look there's going to be permanent repercussions if you do that.
You don't spend time with those kids.
And one day you will regret that.
You're going to have all this time you want to spend with your kids as they get older.
And you know what?
They're not going to have any time.
That's the way it's going to work.
I know so many situations like this.
You see people once they get older they start having kids.
And then the parents want to spend a lot of time with their grandkids.
But you know if they never spend any time with their own kids.
You know the new parents are just like why would I want to spend time with them now?
That happens all the time.
Now in Psalms 103 verse 12 or verse 11.
Verse 11.
For as the heavens hide above the earth so great is its mercy toward them that fear me.
Verse 12.
As far as the east is from the west so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
The Bible talks about God being very merciful to us.
And verse number 12 is a great proof of internal security.
It says as far as the east is from the west so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
If you start going east on a global earth.
Because it is a spherical earth.
You start going east.
You're still going east.
Guess what?
You never start going west.
See as far as the east is from the west.
As you go east.
East and west never meet.
What does it say?
It's saying that your transgressions are firmly gone from you and saved.
One saved, always saved.
It teaches that in the Old Testament and in the New Testament.
East and west they never meet.
Okay.
Then it says in verse number 13.
Like as a father be with his children so the Lord pitied them that fear him.
And see verse 12 talked about internal security.
One saved, always saved.
That when you're a child of God you will always be a child of God.
And it talks about God pitying us.
See no matter how much we rebel against God.
If we were to tell God you know I hate you God.
I don't want you to be my father anymore.
I don't want to be saved or whatever.
Look you would still be saved.
No matter what you do you're still going to be saved in a child of God no matter what.
No matter if you've been murdered you'd still be saved.
Because it's eternal life.
No matter if you've been in adultery you'd still be saved.
There's nothing that you can do to separate that bond.
And what I was trying to drive home here in verse number 13 is that we ought to pity our children in the same way.
As much as they might mess up.
As much as they might think it's bad.
You know realize for one God is forgiving you for a whole lot.
I mean if your son does not clean his room because he doesn't want to.
That's not as bad as a million things that you've done in your life.
And see as God prays us and forgives us and we're still his child.
We ought to have the same love towards our own kids.
And look nothing can change the fact that you are physically the father of that child.
But you know there's a way that you can actually act like a father and not act like a father.
And just choosing to reject your children and never spend time with them.
You're basically not acting like a father.
Because kids will give you your respect to spend time with them and to raise them.
Now turn back to Ephesians 6.
And remember what it said when it said the nurture of the Lord.
Remember how the Lord nurtures us and cares about us.
God is very merciful to us.
God truly does care about us.
And you know we ought to have the same love towards our own kids.
And I'll tell you what.
You say I want my son to grow up or I want my daughter to grow up and to love God.
Well you know the first picture of a father in their life is you as a father.
Right.
And if you are a bad father it's going to cause them not to really think too highly of their heavenly father.
See if you act as a good father and you're a good example of Christ then your kids are going to understand that.
And they're going to try to be.
Look if you teach your kids to be obedient to you and you love them and you care about them.
They're going to want to be obedient to God.
But you know if you're not loving to them.
You know you don't teach them to obey.
As they grow up they're probably not going to obey their other powers in their life.
Which God and then other governmental authorities and whatever.
Because you know they never listen to your rules that obey you.
It starts with actually providing time with them.
Notice what it says in Ephesians 6 4.
It says bring them up with nurture and admonition of the Lord.
And so basically there's really only two things you need to provide.
You basically spend time with people who care about your kids.
And you provide admonition.
You admonish them.
You instruct them.
You include spanking.
You tell them when they messed up.
Now these things go hand in hand.
If you only do one.
If all you do is spend time with your kids.
But you never admonish them.
You never discipline them.
You never correct them when they've done something wrong.
They're going to grow up and be a spoiled brat.
That's because they're in some place.
But some people can go the other way.
They can basically say no.
They can spank their kids and you know always correct them.
And be mad at them and everything like that.
But if they never actually spend any time with their kids.
Their kids are not going to feel much love from their parents.
So yeah.
And once again they're going to rebel as well.
You need both of these things together.
If you only have one.
It's not going to be that great.
You need both of these things.
They work hand in hand.
Ephesians 6 4 says in the admonition of the Lord.
Turn to 1st Timothy 1.
1st Timothy 1.
Now part of the admonition when it comes to being parents.
Is to spank your kids.
Okay.
Look.
The Bible says foolishness is bound on the heart of a child.
I don't care.
You say my son's perfect.
My daughter's perfect.
No you're not.
No child is perfect.
Foolishness is bound on the heart of a child.
We are as parents expecting to correct them by spanking them.
That's what the Bible teaches.
Okay.
And if you never do that.
Your kid is going to be basically a rebellious kid.
That doesn't respect authority.
Okay.
But remember it says admonition of the Lord.
See as much as God is merciful to us.
And as much as he cherishes us.
And cares about us.
When he chooses to rebel against him.
God does get angry with us.
And God does discipline us.
It's not that he just sends unbelievers down to hell.
No I mean if you're a child of God.
And you break God's rules.
Look you're going to reboot yourself.
Right.
That's what the Bible says.
And this is what it says in 1st Timothy 1.
Verse 12.
And I think Christ Jesus our Lord who hath enabled me.
Who is before a black skipper and a persecutor and a jurist.
But I obtained mercy because I did it ignorantly and unbelief.
And so what Paul the Apostle says.
Is that God is very merciful to him.
Because he did it ignorantly and unbelief.
Okay.
Now as much as is possible as parents.
We need to teach our kids.
What we have to understand is that if our kids do something wrong.
And we have not really instructed them.
We need to be merciful to them.
Right.
Okay.
Look kids cause problems all the time.
They just grab papers and just rip them and throw them on the floor.
But look if you've never had a problem.
If you've never had a problem.
And so basically, that was our third formula.
The two things you need to remember from the sermon
are basically as a father what you need to do
is spend time with your children and to admonish them.
Correct them, teach them, discipline them when necessary.
That's not complicated.
Spend time with them and correct them.
That's pretty simple.
Now if you do these two things,
you're doing a good job as a father.
Now obviously, there's a million things
we should do as a father.
And other things that will make you better
at being a father.
But honestly, it really boils down to those two things.
And look, I don't care if your child
ends up learning like a dozen languages.
They're an expert at math.
They're taking calculus when they're like 10 years old
or whatever.
If you never spend any time with them,
it doesn't matter how smart your child is.
You did a bad job.
That's what Bob teaches.
Now look, obviously, we want our kids to be intelligent.
We want them to be good workers.
We want them to learn all these other things.
But look, if you don't spend any time with them,
it doesn't really matter about all these other things.
You need to spend time with your children.
Now obviously, when it comes to being a part of the church,
one of the great things to do to spend time
as a family, at church, and sowing together,
singing the hymns, reading the Bible,
doing things such as that.
And obviously, in today's world,
most people will stake their kids
in front of a television or a computer all day long.
And that's all they do.
They don't teach their kids at all.
They have no clue what their kids are watching.
They have no clue what their kids are hearing.
And they're being brainwashed by the world.
And they don't think about it.
And they just kind of figure,
well, I'm taking them to the church.
They're going to be okay.
No, they're not if you just let them
be brainwashed by the world.
They have to actually spend time with them.
And so look, just having your child
in front of TV all day,
look, that is not going to be beneficial to them.
And it's not going to cause them to love you.
Your children are going to love you
when you spend time with them.
But look, I'll tell you what,
when you're a child, obviously,
and you love video games and TV
and all these exciting things,
I'll tell you what, when you grow older,
you really appreciate that your parents
actually spend time with you.
I really appreciate the fact that
my mom was a stable mom,
and my parents spent a lot of time with us.
And we would always do things as a family together.
We'd eat dinner as a family together.
We'd play cards as a family together.
We actually did something together.
But in today's world with all the gadgets
and the computers and the TVs,
it's very easy to say,
we're spending quality time
when you're not talking to each other.
They don't know anything about your kids.
They don't know anything about you.
And you're just watching TV together.
That's not what you see in your life.
You're supposed to spend active time
with your children.
Ephesians 6, verse 4.
And I want you to see the last point is this,
that if you do not take the responsibility
on yourself, you are probably going to
provoke your children.
Ephesians 6, verse 4.
And he thought, nurse,
provoke not your children to wrath,
but bring them up in the nurture
and admonition of the Lord.
See, the secret to not having your kids
promote to wrath is to spend time
with your kids and correct them.
See, if you're missing one of those things,
you're going to provoke them to wrath.
Okay?
You say, why would I promote them to wrath
if I don't spend time with them?
It's going to promote them to wrath
or extreme anger because they're upset
that they have a father that doesn't
really love them that much.
They have a mom that doesn't really love them
that much.
They have parents that don't spend much time.
And when they see other parents
spending time with their kids
and actually caring about their kids.
Look, you have your son who goes to a basketball
game or whatever, and you know what?
All the other fathers are there,
all the other mothers are there,
but your parents aren't.
I mean, how's that going to make you feel?
And look, when I was growing up,
my parents went to all my soccer games,
but there were plenty of kids whose parents
didn't go to soccer games.
They weren't there to actually see their kids.
Now, when you have children,
one thing you're going to notice is
they're always trying to impress their parents.
Right.
They're always trying to do this.
And sometimes they're getting into problems,
but they're trying to impress you.
And they'll try to do something
and they'll look back to see if you're watching.
They'll be taking something or whatever.
And they look back to see if you're watching.
Why?
You're trying to make them happy.
Right.
And look, you know, if the parents are just kind of like,
well, you know, I never really watched my son play.
I never spent time with him.
Look, you're going to promote your child to act.
Yeah.
He's going to be upset that his father's not spending time with him.
Okay.
Look, you know, time is more valuable than money to use.
Right.
Now, look, obviously, as fathers,
we need to provide financially.
And that's another concern.
I've preached that before.
I'm just showing you what Ephesians 6 will talk about.
Obviously, we have to work hard.
And, you know, it's difficult to work a lot of hours
and then come home and spend time with your kids.
And quite honestly, you know,
we might have to make some sacrifices in our lives.
We might have to cut out some commies.
We might have to have a little bit less sleep.
That's just reality.
You know, honestly, it's worth it to have a little bit less sleep
and be tired a lot if your kids grow up and they actually love you.
Because if you don't spend the time,
it's going to float through the raft
and your kids will not love you.
That's why it's going to work.
Okay?
But it also says that we have to bring up an admonition of your work.
And if we don't do that,
we're going to provoke our children to rap as well.
And so you have to understand this,
that if you do not discipline and instruct your kids,
what's going to happen is they're going to be disrespectful to you.
And they're going to embarrass you all the time in public.
And you're going to have to deal with it.
Because, honestly, when your child slaps you in the face in public,
it's pretty embarrassing.
You're going to do something to deal with that,
and it's going to end up being a big fight.
And, look, you could have fixed that.
And they're going to be embarrassed
if they're being instructed or corrected in public.
Look, you would have been better off just doing that at home.
Right.
Look, if you fight those battles privately,
you won't have to fight them publicly.
But if you do not fight those battles privately,
you will have to fight them publicly.
Now, look, all kids act up.
My son is not perfect.
He has a lot of things wrong with him.
He has lots of things.
All kids, they act up.
I'm not saying my son is perfect.
But what I'm saying is this.
All of us, including myself,
we need to try to correct them at home.
Because if we don't do that,
they're going to end up being rebellious.
And guess what?
They're going to disrespect authority.
They'll be fired for jobs.
They'll talk back to the boss.
They'll talk back to policemen.
They could get arrested.
Look, they don't respect you as an authority.
They're not going to respect me anyway.
You want to teach them to respect authority at a young age.
They don't respect God and also other authorities in life.
Because if you're not respectful,
then you're not going to do a very good job at work.
You're not going to do a very good job at society.
Because we have authorities over us.
We can't all be the president of this country.
We can't all be high-level governors and senators.
We're not in those positions.
You know what? Honestly, we need to learn to
our kids to respect authority at a young age.
I'll turn to Second Samuel 13.
Now, let me explain something to you, Ben.
No parent wants to provide the admonition and spanking their children.
Look, it's not fun to spank your children.
Nobody likes doing this.
I would rather just hug my child and spend time with little Zach
and things like that.
But honestly, you know what?
There's both of those responsibilities that you have to do.
We would all love to just not have to instruct them at all
that they'd be perfect children.
But look, it doesn't matter how much they'd be reliable,
how much they know soul names.
They're going to make mistakes.
And they're going to deserve spanking some time and time.
Now, in Second Samuel 13, notice what it says in Verse 24.
And Absalom came to the king and said,
We hold now thy servant hath sheep's ears.
Let the king have his siege to begin his servants go with thy servant.
Now, this is going to be the famous story where Absalom ends up killing Amnon.
But I want you to notice in Verse 24,
because people don't often talk about this,
he asks his father if I beseech thee and his servants go with thy servant.
He's asking the king and his brothers.
He's asking his father and his brothers to go with him.
He's not just asking Amnon.
He's asking his father and all his brothers to go with him.
He's saying, why is he asking all his fathers, his father and all his brothers to go?
But in this story, if you read closely, Absalom wants to kill his father.
Remember, he tries to take the killing just a little bit later on.
So what's the best way to attack someone?
Attack when they don't suspect it.
And so Absalom, who's going to try to kill David later on,
in Verse 24, he says, let the king I beseech thee and his servants go with thy servant.
He's saying, I want you, David, and my brothers to come with me.
He's asking, he's asking real nice, why?
Well, he wants to kill all of them because he wants to take the throne.
That's what's taking place in Verse 25.
Verse 25, and the king said to Absalom,
Nay, my son, let us not all now go, lest we be chargeable unto thee.
And he pressed him, how he and he would not go, but blessed him.
So David's telling Absalom, nay, we're not all going to go.
So basically, Absalom wants his father to come.
Why?
Well, he wants to kill him as he does to Amnon so he can take the throne.
But he presses him greatly and David says no.
It's like, we're not all going to go.
Verse number 26.
Then said Absalom, if not I pray thee, let my brother Amnon go with us.
And the king said, Abdon, why should he go with thee?
But Absalom pressed him and he let Amnon and all the king's sons go with him.
So basically David says no.
He's like, well, if you're not all going to come, give Amnon up.
And eventually he asks and asks and asks and he says, okay, that's fine.
He let Amnon come.
And so what is happening in the story?
Well, Absalom ends up killing Amnon and tries to kill the brothers basically.
But he wants to kill his father as well.
Why would a son want to kill their father?
Look, that's not normal.
So why don't you kill your dad?
Yeah, children get mad at their parents.
But very few children want to kill their parents.
The only way a child is going to want to kill their father or their mother one day
is if those parents provoked their children so rapidly.
You say, are you saying David provoked Absalom rapidly?
He was not a good father.
He was not a good husband.
He was not a good father.
He was a great man of God.
He was a bad husband and a bad father.
He had several wives.
You know, honestly, if you're having several wives,
you're obviously going to favor some wives over the other wives.
And quite honestly, it's not just Absalom.
That's not the only son who provokes track if you read the story.
Later on, you know, as well, a son tries to kill to take the throne.
So David was not a very good father.
But look, I want you to understand it's not normal that your child wasn't brought up and killed him.
That happens if you actively promote your child directly.
How did David do that?
Well, you probably never spent time with his kids.
You're like, that's kind of a given when you're married to lots of wives.
He never spent too much time with his kids or with his wives individually.
And honestly, he never really directed his children.
And so what ends up happening?
Well, his child ends up growing up with a murderer trying to take the throne.
That's what ends up happening.
Turn to Colossians 3.
Colossians 3.
I mean, that's pretty extreme to what actually killed your father.
I mean, I can't even imagine trying to do something like that.
You know, obviously, there's been times, you know, I was frustrated with my dad.
But the thought of killing my father has never come into my mind whatsoever.
Now, this really isn't that related to the story, but I just kind of thought of something.
I remember I was taught at school.
They consider Sigmund Freud to be the greatest psychiatrist, psychoanalyst of all time.
Sigmund Freud.
In school, you always hear about Sigmund Freud and all the great things he did.
Sigmund Freud taught that all kids want to kill their fathers.
All sons want to kill their fathers because they secretly want to be married to their moms.
That's what Sigmund Freud taught.
You say, well, the Bible is crazy.
Yeah, the Bible is crazy.
It's like, I'm sorry, that's not a normal thought for someone.
You want to kill their father and be married to their mom.
Now, don't raise your hands if you've never thought that.
I'm sure nobody in this room has ever thought that.
That's what Sigmund Freud thought.
And look, the world is going to mock us for the things we teach.
They'll protest. They'll mock us.
They say we're crazy for the weeks we take.
Oh, the Bible is so outdated.
And Sigmund Freud, that's what you're teaching in school.
Right.
I mean, what a joke.
That sounds in the mind of a rapper, baby.
Right.
That's what he taught.
Look, the world is always going to come in contrast with what the Bible says.
That's true.
The Bible makes perfect sense.
The wisdom of this world is foolishness with God.
Amen.
And the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God's people who know what the Bible
says.
Colossians 3, verse 21.
This is actually a parallel verse to Ephesians 6, verse 4.
And it says in verse 21,
fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
Colossians 3, verse 21 says, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
Okay?
So why does it say discouraged?
Here's what you have to understand with kids at a young age.
Kids want their parents to love them.
Kids want to grow up.
Your son is going to want to grow up when he's just like a father.
Right.
That's what it is.
Your son at a young age, when my son is like four or five years old, he's going to think
of the greatest, the smartest person in the world, the greatest fighter in the world,
the greatest in everything in the world.
Why?
That's naturally built into kids.
Yep.
That's what they think about their parents.
That's what they're going to think about mom and dad.
Right.
And look, they want to impress their parents.
And look, what ends up happening, though, is you don't spend time with them to correct
them.
Because look, when you correct your child, you spank your child, honestly, what you're
usually seeing, what I've noticed, is that you're not going to be able to correct them.
You're not going to be able to correct them.
And problem 17, verse 6.
Problem 17, verse 6.
And problem 17, verse 6.
The Bible reads this.
Children's children are the crown of old men,
and the glory of the children are their daughters.
The Bible talks about basically the value, the importance,
and having children, how great it is to have children.
The Bible talks about when you're an old man,
as you get older.
Now look, in this room, the majority of the fathers
are pretty young fathers.
The kids are pretty young, pretty young fathers.
And this is stuff we don't think about.
We don't really think about what's
my life going to be like when I'm twice my age?
What's my life going to be like when
I'm 60, 70, 80 years old?
What you have to understand is this,
that when we do what's right as a parent,
our kids will grow up, and they will love us.
They will do what's right.
And look, it's going to be pretty sad
if you become an older person, and your kids don't
want to spend any time with you.
And they don't love you.
And they don't care about you.
I've heard people tell stories that are older,
where they're basically just kind of letting their emotions
out.
And they just talk about how, well, their son
doesn't have any time for them.
Their daughter doesn't have any time for them.
They never spend time with their grandchildren.
Their kids never want to talk to them or visit them.
They say, well, why is that?
Well, the truth is it's probably not an accident by that.
Right.
Honestly, it probably happened because they didn't have time
for their kids to just keep going up.
And as they grow up, and they want to spend time
with their kids, and they realize their life is.
Because once you start getting older,
you realize, man, I'm not going to be able to accomplish
some of the things I wanted.
And you're looking back at your kids,
and hoping they can accomplish what you did.
And what's going to happen, though,
is when they don't want to spend time with you,
it's going to make you pretty sad.
And I'll tell you what.
It's going to take effort for us as fathers.
It's not easy for me.
It's not easy for any of us to work,
and yet also spend time and correct our children
when necessary.
But I'll tell you what.
You're going to regret it one day.
If 20 years from now, your child grows up,
and they don't want to have you in their life,
you will regret it.
Let's all take the time to realize the importance
of our children, that God has given us.
Okay?
Your best as fathers raises it.
It's totally worth it.