All right, well we're here in Proverbs chapter number five. I want to start reading in verse 18.
The Bible says, let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Title of my sermon this morning is rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Now this verse right here is being directed obviously towards a young man.
And I'll prove that, go to Proverbs chapter number one, just flip back a few pages
and we'll get the context of who the book of Proverbs is really directed to.
Proverbs chapter one, look at verse one, it says, the Proverbs of Solomon the son of David,
king of Israel, to know wisdom and instruction, to perceive the words of understanding,
to receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity,
to give subtlety to the simple, notice this, to the young man knowledge and discretion.
Now of course the book of Proverbs can be applied to all of us, but who primarily,
the messages of the book of Proverbs is being directed to is towards young men.
There's a lot of great wisdom and advice towards young men.
And here in Proverbs five verse 18, the Bible's telling us to rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
I think there's several lessons we can learn from this verse this morning.
Number one, go back to Proverbs five and keep your place there throughout the sermon.
Number one, getting married young is a virtue.
Getting married young is a virtue.
This is an idea that's definitely attacked in our society today.
But notice again what the Bible says in verse number 18,
let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
So here the Bible is actually saying that having a wife in your youth is actually a good thing.
And we should rejoice with the wife of our youth.
We should not believe this mentality that the world pushes that,
well, you need to wait to get married until you're 35,
until you've already gone to college.
You've already paid off all your debt.
You've already got a career.
You've got a savings of a hundred thousand dollars in the bank.
Then you can get married.
You know, that's not a biblical mentality at all.
That's maybe what the world teaches, but that's not what the Bible teaches.
Go to first Timothy chapter number five.
And like I said, keep your place there throughout the sermon.
But like I said, there's many virtues.
There's many benefits to getting married at a young age.
One of those is that getting married young helps men to grow up.
Let me just tell you something about young men.
They're just stupid.
Okay.
They're foolish.
There's a lot of immaturity when it comes to young men.
And one of the things that helps young men to grow up in life is to get married.
Why?
Because something's going to change in their life
regarding the amount of responsibility that they carry.
See, when you're living at home with mom and dad, you have little to no responsibility in life.
Yeah, you might have to take out the trash.
You might have to mow the lawn, but really you're pretty much just doing whatever you want.
You're staying up all night playing video games.
You're waking up whenever you feel like.
You know, you're just doing, you're on your own program,
but something changes when you get married.
Look at first Timothy five eight.
But if any provide not for his own and especially for those of his own house,
he have denied the faith and is worse than an infidel.
So notice the Bible is teaching here that it's a man's job to provide financially for his family.
And if a man doesn't do that, the Bible says that he's worse than an infidel,
saying he's worse than someone that's not even saved.
And so when you go from being a young single guy or a guy living in his parents' house
and you're staying up all night playing video games,
you're just doing whatever you want to do and all of a sudden you get married.
Well, there's going to be a lot of maturity that has to take place.
Why?
Because now you're going to have to get up at five thirty in the morning,
Monday through Friday, and that's going to be a huge change in your life
compared to what you were doing before.
You know that's going to do.
It's going to cause you to grow up.
Why?
Because you're not going to be able to stay up till midnight anymore playing Xbox.
You're not going to stay up till two or three in the morning playing PlayStation.
You're actually going to have to go to bed at a reasonable time.
Why?
Because you've got work in the morning.
Why?
Because you've got a wife that you need to take care of.
And young men are just so naturally immature and irresponsible.
And I think that the reason why God gave us a wife,
why God gave us the institution of marriage is to help men grow up,
help men to mature.
Go to 1st Corinthians chapter number 13.
1st Corinthians chapter number 13.
Now, today, what we see as the norm in America is we see men just prolonging adolescence
into their 20s, into their 30s, into their 40s.
We see men living in their 40s, 30s, like they were when they were teenagers,
playing video games all night, not taking life seriously, not having a steady, serious job.
I mean, I see these videos online where women are like just excited
if they talk to a guy that just has a job.
And it's like, the bar is pretty low right now, guys.
Like, just have a job and a lot of women will be impressed by you.
Not even like you have to go be an engineer or something crazy.
Like, just a job.
A lot of women are like, wow, this guy's awesome.
Look at 1st Corinthians 13 verse 11.
It says, when I was a child, I spake as a child.
I understood as a child.
I thought as a child.
But when I became a man, I put away childish things.
You know, what is the definition of a man?
Well, here's one of the definitions of a man is someone that has put away childish things.
You see, being a man is not necessarily an age that you've reached.
You don't just become a man when you turn 18.
No, you become a man when you put away childish things out of your life.
And you know what?
You could be very young and be a man if you're responsible.
If you get married young and you take life seriously and you provide for your family.
You know what?
You are a man.
But we have guys into their 40s that don't have a wife.
They don't have kids.
They don't have any responsibilities.
They're renting still into their 40s and 50s.
They're not getting a serious job.
But you know what?
They do a lot.
They're really good at video games.
Man, they have such a high rank in World of Warcraft.
They've collected all the Pokemons.
I mean, a few years ago during the Pokemon surge,
they were out in the parks and they were finding all the Pokemons.
They were doing so good at that.
But guess what?
Those people are not men.
Why?
Because they have not matured.
They may have a mature body, but they don't have a mature mind.
And the way that you get mature as a man is by getting married.
That's one of the ways.
Now, go to 1 Corinthians chapter number 7.
I'll flip back a few chapters there.
Here's another benefit of getting married young,
is that you'll bring less baggage into your marriage.
When you get married young, you will bring less baggage into your marriage.
Look at 1 Corinthians 7 verse 1.
It says,
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote to me,
it is good for a man not to touch a woman.
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication,
let every man have his own wife,
and let every woman have her own husband.
Notice one of the reasons why people would get married
is simply just to avoid fornication.
Because let me just tell you the reality.
When people delay marriage until their 30s or their late 20s,
they are almost 100% of the time not a virgin.
You know what that means?
Is that they spent their teenage years,
they spent their 20s going around being a whore,
sleeping around with all sorts of random people,
then one day they wake up in their 30s,
they're like,
hey, I want to get married,
and then they bring in all this baggage into their marriage.
Then five years down the road,
they're getting a divorce like 50% of the marriages in our country.
Over 50% of our marriages in America are ending in divorce.
I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that most Americans
are being complete whores and whoremongers before getting married.
You know what God's will for you to do
is to get married young
when your body's changing and when those desires are burning in your heart.
You know what the safe thing to do is?
The Bible says what you should do to avoid fornication,
let every man have his own wife.
Let every wife have her own husband.
And today you're looked at as just insane if you get married young.
But you know what I think is insane is having bastard children out of wedlock.
What I think is insane is that a quarter of Americans have STDs walking around.
That's what's insane.
What's not insane is a young man saying,
hey, I want to become a man.
I want to get some responsibility.
I want to be pure.
I want to be right with God.
So I'm going to get married at a young age.
That is actually the wise thing to do.
And the reason why so many marriages are so jacked up today in America
and all over the world is because people are getting married
and then they're finding out in their marriage
that their wife has a body count in the freaking 20s or 30s.
And vice versa a lot of times.
And you might think that's not a problem, but if you think that you're an idiot
and you've been brainwashed by the world and you need to open your Bible.
Look at what it says in 1st Corinthians 7 verse 9.
It says, but if they cannot contain, let them marry for it is better to marry than to burn.
What is this talking about?
Saying if you can't contain your fleshly lust,
your desire to be with someone of the opposite gender, then you know what you should do?
You should get married.
Why?
Because it's better to marry than to burn.
And let me just explain to you what the life of a single guy who's not married is like.
It's like this verse.
And let's just be honest.
That's just the reality.
And so the solution is to find a wife.
The solution is to get married.
Look at verse 36.
But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncumbly toward his virgin,
if she passed the flower of her age and need so require, let him do what he will.
He sineth not, let them marry.
Nevertheless, he that standeth steadfast in his heart having no necessity,
but hath power over his own will and hath so decreed in his heart
that he will keep his virgin doeth well.
So notice the Bible saying here that if she's past the flower of her age,
meaning that the young lady is completely mature, she's past the flower of her age.
She's a mature woman.
She's an adult.
If they want to get married, they can get married.
It's not a sin.
Let him do what he will.
Let them marry, the Bible says.
But today, what people are doing is they're replacing
getting married with all sorts of other sinful activities, right?
Today, people are replacing getting married when they're young with a live-in girlfriend,
where basically they're together, their boyfriend and girlfriend,
and their boyfriend and girlfriend for a long time, sometimes years and years and years.
But they don't actually pull the trigger and actually get married.
And let me tell you what that's called.
That's called fornication.
Just because you decide to live in a house with someone for years and years,
and you say like, oh yeah, we're together.
That does not mean that you're married.
To be right in the sight of God, to be indulging in that physical relationship,
you must be married.
There's no exceptions to this whatsoever.
And today, people are replacing it with,
well, let me just live with my girlfriend for 5, 10 years and see if we're compatible, right?
Then you wake up in your 30s and you guys break up because you weren't bound by law.
You guys weren't actually married.
And then here you are in your 30s and good luck finding a virgin in your 30s, okay?
Good luck finding a good girl at that time.
Now, go to Psalm 127, Psalm 127.
See, what people do is they keep putting off marriage to try to find someone better, right?
They're not content with who they found.
And they're always trying to look for something better.
They're always trying to trade up.
But then you wake up someday and you realize that your options are slim
because everyone's pretty much already gotten married and you find yourself at 35.
And there's really not a whole lot of great options out there.
You know, another benefit of getting married young is that
you have more time in your marriage to bond together.
Because let's just be honest, your 20s are some pretty difficult years.
Your 20s are hard.
You're learning life.
You're going from living at home to establishing your own home, your own career.
You're popping out babies.
You're getting married.
I mean, it's a difficult time.
Let's just be honest.
And it's nice to go through those years struggling, building character together with your spouse
because that bond that you guys are building in those years
are going to carry with you for the rest of your life.
You're building a strong foundation in your marriage at that time
when things are hard to carry you through the rest.
So here's the great thing about getting married young.
If your wife decides to marry you, young men, when you're young,
that means she actually likes you.
You want to know why?
Because you have no money.
There's nothing great about you.
Like you haven't, you haven't like built this great net worth or anything like that.
Like you're just starting out in the workforce.
You're not making a ton of money.
So if your wife marries you, she actually loves you.
But you know, a lot of people, they're really rich and every girl wants to marry them.
But guess what?
It's not often because they actually love the guy is because they just love money.
So here's a great reason to get married when you're young
to find out if your wife actually likes you.
Okay.
Now here's another great benefit.
Getting married young is that you can have a lot more children.
Look at what Psalm 127 verse three.
It says, low children are in heritage of the Lord and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man, so are children of the youth.
Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them.
They shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
Notice the Bible says that a person who has lots of children,
who has their quiver full of children, that that person is actually happy.
Yet what does the world tell you today?
That being a parent is a curse.
That being parent, being a parent is nothing but a burden.
And let's be honest.
Of course it is a burden.
It is a burden, but it's a burden that's worth undertaking.
It's a burden that God wants us to take upon our shoulders
because there's a lot of blessings that come along with it.
And when you have a lot of children in your youth,
you know, that means that when you're 40, you're going to have grown kids.
And that's pretty cool that you could still be young and hang out with your kids.
I think that's a cool thing.
You know, if you have kids when you're really young,
there's a good chance you're going to see your grandchildren.
There's a good chance you could see your great grandchildren.
You know, me, I met several of my great, great grandparents and that's pretty cool.
That's a great blessing that I've had in my life.
Now go to Malachi chapter number two, Malachi chapter number two.
You know, the Bible teaches that children are a blessing.
This is something that the world is constantly trying to get people to not believe.
You have these people making TikTok videos and Instagram videos
where they're just bragging about how they're adult married couples without kids.
And like, wow, look at me, look at all this cool stuff I could do.
Look how quickly I could get in and out of my car without dealing with the car seats.
You know, look how quick our bedtime routine and everything like that is.
But it's like, okay, we'll see who's talking though when you're 70 and 80.
And we'll see when you're in the nursing home and no one cares about you.
And the only people visiting you are preachers from steadfast Baptist church.
You know, because you're, you didn't have any children.
It's like, we'll see, we'll see how happy you are then.
Malachi two verse 15.
And did he not make one yet had he the residue of the spirit and wherefore one.
So why did God make the twain one flesh?
Why did God do this?
That he might seek a godly seed.
Therefore take heed to your spirit and let none deal treacherously against the wife
of his youth.
You know, the Bible literally says that one of the reasons God created marriage is to have children.
So if you get married and you are purposely deciding in your heart,
I refuse to have children, then why even get married?
Because God said, wherefore one, why did he make two one so that he can seek a godly seed.
That's one of the reasons why.
And the Bible saying here, let no man deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.
There's a lot of men today that are afraid of growing up,
that are afraid of taking on responsibility.
And so they're purposely not having children.
And you know what you're doing?
You're dealing treacherously with the wife of your youth.
When you force your wife to take birth control and ruin her body,
you are dealing treacherously with the wife of your youth.
You know, I had this one family member who is just a complete, just terrible person.
Most liberal person you could possibly imagine.
He married this woman and upon condition of him marrying this woman,
he forced her to tie her tubes before they were married.
And guess what?
They were divorced in like a year.
Just ruining her life, ruining her body,
making it to where she could never have kids again in her entire life.
You know what?
That's someone that was dealing treacherously with their wife.
And ladies, don't ever marry a guy that doesn't want to have children.
That's a terrible idea.
Because chances are you're dealing with someone who's very selfish,
with someone who's very immature,
with someone that only cares about himself.
Look, it's one thing if you can't have kids without fault of your own.
You know, your body just isn't fertile, whatever.
That's a different story.
But when your husband is making you not have children,
you know what?
That's someone that's dealing treacherous with you.
And you should, you know, instead of just sitting across from each other while you're dating,
making googly eyes at each other the whole time,
you know, you should actually talk about things that matter.
Like, do you want to have kids someday?
And not be an idiot and just tie the knot with someone and be like,
oh wow, my husband doesn't want to have any kids.
It's like, you're screwed.
You should have talked about those things when you were dating.
Getting married young is a blessing.
Having children when you're young is a blessing.
Go back to Proverbs chapter number five.
So number one, getting married young is a virtue.
I got married young.
I thank God for it.
I was 21 for maybe a couple days when I got married.
My wife was 18.
There's people that have been married younger than us,
but in those times we've had four kids.
We're still in our twenties and I'm glad that we've done that.
I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.
Was it hard?
Yes, it was hard.
But you know what?
It was worth it.
It was absolutely worth it.
Number two, men's affections should only be for their wife.
Look at Proverbs five verse 18.
Let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
You know, the Bible here doesn't say, hey, go have fun with other women.
Go indulge in other women.
The Bible says to rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
And what we need to understand is that marriage is an exclusive relationship.
And it's crazy that you even have to say things like this, but you know what?
We're living in such a backwards world.
We're living in such a messed up time where people are now thinking things like
open relationships are okay.
People in the workplace will just openly talk about their adultery
and about their desires for other women in front of other married men.
And no one says anything.
People just act like it's okay, like it's normal.
You know what?
The Bible is against that.
Your affections as a man should only be for your wife.
Go to Proverbs chapter five.
Let's skip down to verse 15.
Now, what are some ways that your affections can only be towards your wife?
Well, here's a big one.
How about don't commit adultery?
Look at verse 15.
Drink waters out of thine own cistern and running waters out of thine own well.
Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad and rivers of waters in the streets.
Let them be only thine own and not strangers with you.
If you're old enough in the room today,
I hope you know what waters is talking about here, right?
It's not really talking about well.
It's talking about something else.
Let her be as the loving hind in pleasant row.
Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times.
And be thou ravished always with her love.
And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman
and embrace the bosom of a stranger?
For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord,
and he pondereth all his goings.
You know, the Bible is very against this idea of going to another woman for this activity.
You know what that's called?
That's called adultery.
And our society has just forgotten what a serious sin this is.
And all the movies and all the TV shows want to make adultery look like something that's fun
and something that's cool and something that people should partake in.
But you know what?
In the eyes of God, it is wicked as hell.
And in fact, God hates it so much in the Old Testament,
you would have the death penalty for committing adultery.
When this country was founded, when the original colonies were founded,
if you committed adultery, oftentimes in some of these areas, you'd be put to death.
And you know what?
That's how it should be today.
Because today, if we had the death penalty on adultery,
there would be a lot less adultery in this world.
Yes, it's a natural temptation.
Yes, men and women are drawn towards this.
But when it's the death penalty, that's going to cause a lot of people to not go down that road.
You know, this is why we need laws in our world is because it keeps us from evil.
It's like the stupid abortion argument, like my body, my choice.
You know, how can you make laws against what someone does with their body when it's like,
hey, every single law that exists is telling you what you can do with your body
and what you can't do with your body.
You know what?
We need some laws in America that says, here's something you can't do with your body.
You can't go in unto another man's wife.
Women can't go to another husband.
That's wicked as hell on the side of God.
Now, here's a way to avoid adultery.
How do you avoid it?
What the Bible says is to drink waters out of your own cistern.
And so there's nothing wrong with that relationship.
It's not like that relationship is dirty or sinful or anything like that.
No, it's great.
It's holy.
It's beautiful.
It's something that God created to be enjoyed.
But he created it to be enjoyed between a husband and wife and them alone for their entire life.
He didn't create it for you to enjoy a bunch of that before you're married.
He didn't create it for you to get married and then enjoy a bunch of other women after that.
No, it's one man, one woman for life.
Go to Proverbs 6.
Turn the page.
Proverbs chapter number 6, verse 32.
But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding.
He that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.
What is the Bible saying here?
Someone that goes and commits adultery is a foolish person.
This person lacks understanding.
Why?
Because they're hurting themselves.
They're hurting their most important relationship that they have in their life.
Oftentimes, men will trash their entire life for this one event.
I mean, you're married.
You own a house together.
You've got a good job.
You've got children together.
And men will literally flush all of it down the trash for one experience with another woman.
And let me tell you something.
Let me just try to wake you up to something right now.
The Bible teaches that if your spouse commits adultery, that they are to forgive you and
restore you.
That is what the Bible teaches.
But let me just wake you up to the reality of life.
If you commit adultery, your spouse may not do that.
And so don't just bank on the fact that, oh, I could do whatever I want because my wife
will never leave me.
My wife will always forgive me.
She should.
Yes, that's the reality of what should happen.
But let me just wake you up about life.
If you cheat on your wife, she might just leave you.
She might just divorce you.
And while that's wrong too, let me just try to warn you before you make this stupid decision,
before you lose your house, before your kids are being raised by someone else, before your
paycheck is being money taken out of it for the rest of your life until their kids turn
18.
It's not worth it.
It's never worth it.
Your affections need to be to your own wife.
Look at verse 33.
A wound and dishonor shall he get, and his reproach shall not be wiped away.
If you commit adultery, there is a stain.
There is a mark on your life of dishonor.
There's a reproach on your head that will never be wiped away.
By the way, the Bible says that pastors are supposed to be blameless.
You know, no man should ever be ordained in the ministry if they've ever committed adultery.
Disqualified.
Why?
Because the Bible says that your reproach shall not be wiped away.
And we need to get back to a place in America where committing adultery is so shocking and
horrifying that people have a reproach on them for the rest of their life.
Why?
Because if we got back to shaming adulterers, maybe the next generation wouldn't have so
much adultery.
Maybe we wouldn't have to go to work as men and listen to a bunch of idiots talk about
other women all day when they're married, when there was actually a reproach and a shame
on their life.
Look at verse 34.
For jealousy is the rage of a man.
Therefore, he will not spare in the day of vengeance.
He will not regard any ransom.
Neither will he rest content, though thou givest many gifts.
You know, let's talk about this again.
What's right versus reality, okay?
What's right is the Bible says not to murder someone.
But let me just tell you what might happen to you if you sleep with another man's wife.
He might literally kill you.
He might just end your life.
I mean, what is it saying there?
For jealousy is the rage of a man.
Therefore, he will not spare in the day of vengeance.
He will not regard any ransom.
Neither will he rest content, though thou givest many gifts.
I mean, there has been this has happened so many times.
It's not even funny.
Where a man finds out what's happening and he just grabs the guy and just kills her.
Or sometimes this happens, too.
And again, I'm not saying this is right.
I'm just telling you that this could happen.
Sometimes he kills his wife, too.
And so this is not a sin to be playing around with.
This is not something that God is going to show a whole lot of mercy on and man as well.
This is something that we need to take extremely seriously.
That men's affections should only be for their wife.
Now go to Proverbs five.
What are some applications from this truth?
Well, not only should our affections only be towards our wife, not only should we just
not commit adultery, but let's take that another step.
Why don't we just say this?
Let's not even flirt with other women if you're married.
Look, if you're married, those days are gone.
Don't think that you can still go and hit up ladies and flirt with other women.
You know what?
That needs to just be turned off in your life.
It's gone.
It's done.
But men do this.
Look at Proverbs five, verse three.
For the lips of a strange woman drop as in honeycomb and her mouth is smoother than oil.
But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.
Let her feet go down to death.
Her steps take hold on hell, lest thou shouldst ponder the path of life.
Her ways are movable that thou canst not know them.
Hear me now, therefore, O ye children, and depart not from the words of my mouth.
Notice this next phrase.
Remove thy way far from her and come not nigh the door of her house.
What is the strange woman?
It's not like saying she lives in Portland or something like that.
What it's saying is that she's foreign to you.
She's someone other than your wife.
And what does the Bible say to do to the strange woman?
It says to remove thy way far from her.
It doesn't say, let's see how close to the line of cheating on my wife I can get without
cheating on her.
Because this is what a lot of men do.
A lot of men, they think it's fun to go flirt with other women.
And so the strange woman comes and they'll just get right up to the line, but they won't
necessarily cheat on their wife.
They'll flirt with her.
They'll compliment her.
They'll have long conversations with her.
They'll do all these inappropriate things with her, but they never full on and go commit
adultery.
But you know what the principle for us, the Bible says, just remove thyself far from her.
When there's a strange woman, you know, don't play with this sin.
This is something that the Bible says to run away from.
You know, Joseph, when there was a strange woman that was coming onto him, he literally
ran away so fast that she had his clothes in her hands.
He wasn't playing around with this.
He took this seriously.
Now I'll read for you 1 Thessalonians 5 22.
It says this, abstain from all appearance of evil.
Bible does not teach that we should only just abstain from the actual sin itself, but rather
we should abstain from things that even look like sin.
So what this means is that you're not going to, if you want to live a godly life as a
man, you shouldn't just be hanging out with all these other women.
You shouldn't have girl friends, friends that are girls.
No, once you get married, your friend that's a girl is your wife.
You want to have a friend that's a girl, call your grandmother, call your mom, call your
sister and call your wife.
But you know what?
You don't have friends that are girls.
I don't have any friends that are girls.
You're not my friend.
You're my sister in Christ.
And you know, I love you as a sister in Christ.
I want to be kind and respectful towards you, of course.
You know, don't get this weird idea where we take this to such an extreme where it's
like, you know, brother fur walks into church.
It's like, hey, brother fur, how's it going?
It's like, you know, like, like you could say, hello, Mrs.
Fur, good to see you.
Like, don't get so weird with this.
But here's the thing.
Don't just go have this super long conversation with a woman that's not your wife.
Don't go hanging out alone with a woman that's not your wife.
That is inappropriate.
That is wrong.
Now, what are some ways that people do this?
Go to Proverbs chapter number six, Proverbs six, flip the page.
Verse 25 says, lust not after her beauty in thine heart.
Notice this.
Neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
What is this talking about?
Look, I think if you're an adult in this room, everyone knows what this is talking about.
Women, strange women, whores, when they choose a target, when they want to hunt after the
precious life, you know how they initiate that is with their face, with their facial
expression.
We all know what I'm talking about when a woman is giving you the look.
Look, if you see that, what does the Bible say?
Neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
You know, us men, if you notice a woman giving you an inappropriate look, don't fall into
that trap.
Don't go get closer to that.
Don't try to play around with that woman and see if you can go flirt with her or anything
like that.
No, she wants to try to take you with her eyelids.
Remove thy way far from her.
The Bible says, don't play around with this.
Don't even lust after other women.
Look at the beginning part of this verse.
Lust not after her beauty in thine heart.
And you know, this is something that's just rampant in our world today.
It's everywhere.
It's every billboard.
It's every social media app.
You know, I was working with a couple of guys one time and they're both married and they
start pointing out this girl and she's like, Dylan, what do you think about this girl?
Look at this girl over here.
And I was like, hey, aren't you guys married?
You're like, yeah, so what?
I was like, so do you want me to just slap you for your wife?
And they're like, what are you talking about?
I was like, you guys need to grow up.
You guys need to stop this.
You know what?
Don't be afraid to tell people to fricking change their attitude on this.
You know, the reason why it's so like accepted to do this is because men that actually love
the Lord are like so cowardly around all these people.
But you know what?
Don't go and just allow your friends to go talk about other women.
Of course, men are always going to struggle with this, but there's a difference between
struggling with sin and being proud of it and bringing it to everyone's attention.
There's a difference between slipping up and walking in the flesh and lusting after
another woman to being like, hey, guys, let's all go do this together.
Hey, married friend, what do you think about that girl?
You know what?
That shame on you if you do that.
Shame on you if you are so comfortable around your friends or your brothers that you just
gawk after other women and talk about it like it's cool.
You know, this is the macho culture in America is every beer gutted dad has a fricking magazine
cover in his garage with all the calendars of the naked women, right?
And it's like newsflash, dude.
You know, I don't think that this supermodel that you're lusting after really cares for
your $50,000 a year.
Just wake up, man.
Stop thinking you've got it.
You don't.
Go to Job 31.
Job 31.
Now, how can we try to do our best to control this area of our lives?
Because don't let preachers lie to you and say that you could just, you know, sinless
perfection.
Once you get saved, you'll never have a wicked thought again.
You'll never sin again.
No, this is going to be a struggle till the day you die.
And so I just want to be honest with you and honest with you ladies, too, so that you can
understand what's happening with your husband.
You know, don't be so naive or you get married and then all of a sudden it shocks you that
this happens.
This is how men just are.
This is how God has created men.
It's not an excuse for it, but this is just how we are.
But how can we control this?
Look at Job 31 verse 1.
Job said this.
I made a covenant with mine eyes.
Why then should I think upon a maid?
Here's the truth.
Once you see a scantily clad woman as a man, you can't really control how you feel about
that.
But what you could try to do is prevent seeing it in the first place.
Or if you see a woman that's scantily clad, you immediately turn away.
You don't just sit there and feast your eyes on it.
Because why?
The Bible says I made a covenant with mine eyes.
Why then should I think upon a maid?
You know, what goes into your eyes is going to affect what you think about.
And if you just spend all day every day, like most men in America do, having no filter for
their eyes whatsoever, not even trying to control themselves in this area, you know
what your heart is going to be filled with?
Your heart is going to be filled with a bunch of discontentment for your wife, a bunch of
lust in your heart for other women, and it's going to lead you down a road to possibly
cause you to commit actual adultery and ruin your entire life.
Go to Proverbs chapter number four, Proverbs chapter number four.
Look at verse number 25 of Proverbs chapter four.
It says, Let thine eyes look right on and let thine eyelids look straight before thee.
Ponder the path of thy feet and let all thy ways be established.
Turn not to the right hand nor to the left.
Remove thy foot from evil.
You know, we need to, as men, as much as possible, be vigilant and purposeful with where our
eyes are going, not just aimlessly, carelessly walking up and down the streets and not, you
know, thinking about this at all and just not caring if you're indulging in this.
No, you need to be thinking that your eyes need to be looking straight on that your eyelids
need to be looking straight before you and not just partaking in this.
Go to First Corinthians seven.
While you're turning there, I'll read for you.
Malachi 2 14 says, Yet you say wherefore, because the Lord have been witnessed between
thee and the wife of thy youth against whom thou has dealt treacherously.
Yet is she thy companion and the wife of thy covenant.
You know, the Bible is talking here about how you could deal treacherously with your
wife.
Let me just explain to you, men, while it is a natural temptation for us to do this,
if you just allow yourself day in, day out to just look at other women and lust after
other women, you are dealing treacherously with your wife.
You are harming and doing something that's hurtful to your wife.
And this is what the devil wants.
I mean, the devil wants to break up homes.
He wants to break up marriages.
He wants to break up families.
That's why when you open up your stupid smartphone and you go to a social media app,
and you just hit the discovery page and you're just doom scrolling, like we talked about
several weeks ago, just mindlessly opening your phone, just world, please fill my brain.
You know what's going to be popping up a lot on your phone?
A bunch of scantily clad women.
Why?
Because the devil wants you to sit there lusting after other women in your heart to cause you
to be discontent, to ruin your home, to ruin your marriage, to deal treacherously with
your wife.
You know what?
This is something that we need to take control of as men.
Now, of course, while it's never acceptable, it's never okay for men to go down this road.
You know, women at home also have a role to play where they can help their husband minimize
this area in his life.
Look at first Corinthians seven verse 10.
It says, nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife and let every
woman have her own husband.
Let the husband render unto the wife, do benevolence.
And likewise, also the wife unto the husband.
The wife hath not power of her own body, sorry, feminists, but the husband.
And likewise, also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
Notice defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time that you may
give yourselves to fasting and prayer and come together again, that Satan tempt you
not for your incontinency.
So notice Satan is ready to tempt us for man's ability to not contain himself in this area.
And so in order to prevent men and women from being tempted by the devil to sin in this
area, what has God given us?
He's given us marriage.
And the Bible teaches that men should give to their wives, do benevolence and not withhold
that physical relationship from her.
And on the other hand, the Bible says for the wife to give her husband, do benevolence
and not withhold that physical relationship from him.
And if you are doing that, what does the Bible say?
The Bible says that you're defrauding one another.
This is called marital fraud.
And again, what am I talking about?
Not necessarily right, but let me just wake you up to the reality of life, okay?
What is right is that a man would only ever look at his wife and only ever be interested
in his wife and only enjoy that relationship with his wife.
But let me just tell you the reality.
If you want to be a feminist, if you want to, you know, indulge in the mentality of
the world and withhold this relationship from your husband, let me just wake you up to the
reality of what might happen.
He may go down that road.
He may start lusting after other women.
He may go commit adultery.
And while that's 100% wrong and we need to condemn that every single time, I'm just telling
you that women have a role to play in this as well.
And if you are indulging in this stupid mentality where you're just withholding this from your
husband and it's a once a year thing for you guys or just this weird mentality that a
lot of marriages have right now, just expect your marriage to blow up.
Just expect to fail.
Expect your marriage to not last because the Bible says to not defraud each other in this
area.
And the world wants to tell you that there's such a thing as marital rape.
Look, you gave consent at the wedding altar when you said to have and to hold.
You know what that means?
To have and to hold all the days of your life.
And you said, I do.
What does the Bible say?
The Bible says you have to have consent not to partake in this relationship and see just
everything the world teaches is just the opposite of the Bible.
And it's so funny how the world wants to hate on Christianity and on fundamentalism.
And they look at our families and they think we're insane because men are in charge.
Women obey.
We've got lots of kids, but you know what?
When you follow this in the Bible, you're going to have a pretty happy marriage and
the world while they're out scoffing at us.
You know, they're trying to find some barfly whore once a month if they're lucky because
they don't have a wife at home because they don't have a wife that obeys the Bible at
home.
Let me just tell you, you want to enjoy this area of your life, get married young and do
what the Bible says.
And you could actually enjoy this area of your life way more than the world does, even
though they make all the music videos that makes them look like they're having a great
time.
Let me tell you what their life sucks.
They're often full of disease.
They've got a bunch of divorce.
They've got feminist wives that are not, you know, giving this area.
And you know, the Bible's way is just always better in all areas of life.
Go to Proverbs chapter five, Proverbs chapter number five.
Number three, men should develop and maintain a friendship with their wife.
Proverbs 5, 5, 18.
Let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
See, though the Bible does teach that men are in charge and that their wives are to
submit to them and that the Bible literally says that women were created for the man.
Women were created to be the help fitting for their husband.
While that is true, you don't want to get this weird mentality that you just look at
your wife as some sort of robotic slave, that the only role in life that she has is to cook
your food and clean your house and do what you tell her to do.
And then you just ignore her and forget about her the whole rest of your life.
That's a weird mentality that some men have.
But notice the Bible actually says to rejoice with the wife of your youth.
You know what that implies?
That implies that you guys aren't just married, but you're actually friends too.
You're actually rejoicing because you enjoy spending time together.
And sometimes men, they do this because they get busy with work or they get busy with their
hobbies and they can get to the point where they just neglect their wife.
And this is something that us as men need to avoid.
You know, we talked a few weeks ago about the importance of prioritization.
And if you have a goal in your life of having a good marriage, you must prioritize your wife.
You must schedule in time in your day to spend with your family as much as possible.
And, you know, I don't recommend men to take these jobs that causes them to be away from
their wife for weeks and months at a time.
You know, yeah, the pay may be good, but is it really worth your marriage?
Oftentimes to just neglect that relationship?
I don't think so.
Go to Song of Solomon, chapter number five, Song of Solomon, chapter number five.
Song of Solomon five.
This verse we're going to read in verse 16 is from the perspective of the wife.
It says, his mouth is most sweet.
Yea, he is altogether lovely.
This is my beloved and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.
You know, I hope every person in here can honestly say that about their spouse,
that this is my beloved, but not only that, this is my friend.
And, you know, if you're not there, if you in your heart right now are thinking,
you know what, I can't really say that honestly about my spouse.
You know what you need to do?
Men, you need to be the leader.
You need to invest in your wife.
You need to prioritize your wife.
You need to be friends with your wife again.
You need to date your wife again.
You need to treat this relationship not as something that's just, you know,
she's some doormat for you, but that she's something that you cherish and love.
And, you know, the reason why us as men would be so devoted to our careers and be so devoted
and putting so much time into work would be to provide for her, right?
So you don't want to provide for her so much at the expense where you're now just
forgetting to spend time with her.
It just doesn't make any sense.
Go to 1 Peter chapter 3.
1 Peter chapter 3.
1 Peter 3 verse 7 says this,
likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge,
giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel,
and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered.
You know, the Bible says that we're supposed to dwell with our wives according to knowledge.
We are supposed to get to know them.
We're supposed to figure out what their likes and dislikes are.
And you know what?
This is a lifelong process because women just don't make sense.
So for us as men, we need to try our best, spend as much time with them as possible
to just learn a little bit more about them every day.
And if it's shifting, well, you need to learn that new shifting part.
Okay.
But us as men, look, just dwell with your wife according to knowledge.
Look at this.
Actually stay there.
I'll read for you Colossians 3 19.
It says, husbands, love your wives and be not bitter against them.
You know, I think one of the biggest things that's preventing husbands
from being friends with their wives is bitterness.
The Bible saying here that us as husbands, we should not be bitter with our wives.
What is bitterness?
It's unresolved conflict.
And here's what you have to understand about marriage is that there's going to be conflict,
meaning that there's going to be wrongdoing on both sides.
And when you're bitter against someone, what that means is that that person did something
wrong to you.
They did something that they shouldn't have done, or they hurt you in some way.
And you're not being forgiving to that person.
You're not letting go of it.
Rather, you're harboring all this negative emotion and feeling towards that person and
not forgiving them.
And you know what's going to hinder being friends with your spouse is bitterness.
And so rather than thinking, well, yeah, I'm not really good friends with my wife this
morning because she isn't good at this and she isn't good at that.
Well, why don't you look in the mirror and why don't you ask yourself if you as a man
have been harboring bitterness against your wife?
Because that's something that you are in control of.
And so you're saying, oh, you know, I'm not that great friends with my wife.
Well, have you forgiven your wife or are you just harboring all this bitterness against
her?
Because if you are, you're not going to be very good friends with your wife.
Go to Proverbs chapter number five, Proverbs chapter number five.
Now, last point this morning, the lesson we can learn from this more verse is that
number four, men should never divorce the wife of thy youth.
Look at Proverbs five, five verse 18.
It says, let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
See, if you get married young, no matter what age you are, you can always look at your wife
as being the wife of your youth.
And if you are to rejoice with the wife of your youth, that implies that you're doing
that your entire life, not that you're moving on to another woman and then rejoicing with
her because you divorced your first spouse.
No, rather, you should never, ever divorce the wife of your youth.
Go to Matthew chapter 19, Matthew chapter 19.
But again, the world always has the exact opposite philosophy of the Bible.
The world says you're not happy in your marriage.
You go trade up to a better man.
You go girl, you leave your husband, you double your closet space.
You go ahead and just buy all those Amazon packages.
Don't let him tell you what you can and cannot do.
Find a better man that'll let you do whatever you want.
This is what the, this is what the world teaches.
Look at Matthew 19 verse six.
Wherefore, they are no more twain, but one flesh.
What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
The Bible teaches that when you got married to your wife, he made you one flesh and what
God has joined together, no man has the authority to put asunder.
I don't care what the laws of the state of Oklahoma are or the laws of America.
The Bible says divorce is wicked.
Divorce is always wrong.
There is no reason in the Bible to divorce.
And you know what?
This subject makes me angry because though I love a lot of our old independent fundamental
Baptist brethren, you know, I read, I've read many of their books and I've heard many
of their sermons and almost all of them are completely wrong on this issue because great
men of God that I respect, I've read their literature and they say that they counsel
women to divorce their husband if he cheats on them or vice versa.
You know what?
The Bible says what God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
So I'm just telling you, you're never ever going to come to me and complain about your
spouse and I'm going to tell you, yeah, go ahead and get a divorce.
It's just never going to happen.
So just don't even do it at all.
Look at Luke chapter number 16, Luke chapter number 16.
I'm going to tell you to rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
I'm going to tell you to stop being so bitter and to forgive your wife.
I'm going to tell you to go provide for her.
I'm going to go tell you to spend some time with her, to love her, to cherish her.
But I'm never going to tell you to divorce your wife for any reason.
Luke 16, 18.
Whosoever putteth away his wife and marryeth another, commiteth adultery.
And whosoever marryeth her that is put away from her husband, commiteth adultery.
You have a lot of Baptist churches in America that are facilitating adulterous weddings
today, where some man of God is taking a woman who divorced her husband and marrying her
to another man.
You know what he's doing?
He's putting a big stamp of approval on adultery.
That is wicked as hell.
Let me give you some practical reasons to never divorce.
Because I realize some people don't care about the Bible.
Some people don't care about what God says.
Shame on you if that's the case.
But let me just give you some practical reasons why you should never divorce.
Here's number one is that it harms your children.
Everyone knows this.
The world knows this.
That if you divorce your spouse, that is going to be harmful to your children.
That is going to be emotionally taxing on your children.
Why?
Because when parents get divorced, oftentimes parents want their kids to choose sides.
And they want to turn the hearts of their children away from one of their parents.
You know what?
That is a harmful thing to do to your child.
Children are supposed to be raised in the home of their father and mother who love each
other.
And when you rip that home apart, you are doing damage to your children.
And here's another thing.
You know, oftentimes parents will divorce and the wife will go find some other man.
And then that random other man is raising these children.
And oftentimes that man abuses those children.
And there's been thousands and thousands of cases where mom's new boyfriend, mom's
new husband is actually a sexual predator molesting those kids.
And you know what?
That would never, ever happen if you would have just stayed with your first husband.
And so people are like, oh, you know, don't just stay married for the kids when you got
to be happy.
You have to feel like your marriage is a romance novel at all times or you should divorce.
Who cares about the kids?
You know what?
Staying together for the kids is a good enough reason.
If you say I'm not friends with my spouse today, but I have kids and I'm staying together
with my wife for my kids.
Look, I hope in the future your marriage gets better and I believe it can.
But that is a good enough reason to stay married right there is to not harm your children.
Another reason is economic ruin of the home.
I mean, people ruin themselves financially getting divorced.
You know, they make it to their 40s and 50s.
They own a house.
They've got a good job.
And then they get a divorce and they just hand lawyers all the assets that they have.
They split up their home.
They lose all their money.
Now they're living in apartments separated from each other.
And now dad is paying half his paycheck to alimony and half his paycheck to child support.
And their their lives have been completely ruined economically just because they got
divorced.
And you know what?
I'm glad it's that way because I hope that it's a little bit of an incentive for people
not to get divorced to realize, hey, if I leave my wife, you know, my pocket book is
going to be destroyed for the foreseeable future.
By the way, in the state of Oklahoma, this is a common law marriage state.
So if you are common law married to someone here in Oklahoma and you wanted to dissolve
that relationship, you have to get a legal divorce in the state of Oklahoma.
So keep that in mind before you want to shack up with your girlfriend and have her living
in your house and going around telling people that you're married.
Hey, you better be serious about that relationship.
And if you are, why don't you just get married the right way the first place?
Another reason you should never get divorced is the public shame that comes involved with
that.
You know, everyone's going to know your business.
And in fact, man, this is true because when we bought our house, the real estate agent
told us that the reason they're selling their house is because they're getting divorced.
That's sad.
That sucks.
They had two little kids and they're getting divorced.
But when we moved in, when we met all of our neighbors, even neighbors that live like 20
houses down from us, they're like, yeah, these guys got divorced.
It was really crazy.
All my neighbors keep saying this.
It was really crazy.
I'm like, what does that mean?
Like, how crazy was this divorce?
Like, you live 20 houses down.
How do you even know?
But you know what that is?
Public shame.
Everyone on our street knew about this divorce.
I don't even know all the neighbors on my street, but yet everyone knew about this divorce.
I can guarantee you all their family knew too.
If all their neighbors knew, their family knew, their coworkers knew, their church knew.
And you know what?
It is a shameful thing to be divorced.
We have so many people today affirming divorce.
You go girl, you go find a better girl, man.
But you know what?
The Bible says that he that commits adultery, his reproach shall never be wiped away.
And so, you know what?
I'm glad there's some shame for getting divorced because it's a shameful thing to do.
Here's another reason you should never get divorced is that when you marry the second
time, it's going to be a much lower quality person.
Because here's the thing.
When you get married, when you're young, what do we talk about?
Your wife actually loves you because you're worthless.
You make no money.
Okay.
Your wife is probably a virgin.
At least I hope you're marrying a virgin.
But here's the thing.
You get divorced when you're 35.
You get divorced when you're 45, 50.
You want to know what type of people are out on the market?
Other people that suck at marriage like you.
Other people that were terrible spouses and are divorced also.
And so, it's like, wow, the divorce rates for people that have been married the second
time are higher than the first.
Yeah, because guess what?
These are two problem people getting married.
You should have just stayed with your first spouse.
And sometimes men, man, this pisses me off.
Men, as they get older, they do make more money.
You know, you start to fill out.
You're more muscular at age 30 than you were at age 18 or 19.
And men start thinking they're so cool and they're all that in a bag of chips.
And they're thinking, I could find a better woman.
You know what?
You're wicked as hell if you want to leave the wife of your youth.
Don't divorce the wife of your youth because you think you're so cool now, because you
think you could find better.
You know what?
Shame on you.
And I hear situations like this.
I see situations like this.
You know what?
It is sickening.
What a prideful, disgusting thought that you think you're so cool now that you want to
leave the wife of your youth.
Never divorce the wife of your youth.
It also just makes Christianity look bad.
I mean, it makes Christianity look bad when the Bible teaches never to divorce, when the
Bible teaches to love your wife, when the Bible teaches for wives to submit to their
husbands.
And then marriages in Christianity are just so terrible and marriages and Christianity
are just falling apart.
You know, what would it say about our church if just all of the marriages in this building
just dissolved and everyone's in here committing adultery and everyone's in here running
around with other people's wives?
You know what that makes?
It makes Christianity look bad.
And you know what?
Modern Christianity, this liberal version of Christianity, this new evangelical, love
everything, don't preach against any sin, that Christianity does look bad because it
is bad because it's a perversion of Christianity.
It's not what the Bible actually teaches.
Here's another reason not to get divorced is that divorced people are always less happy.
You know, I don't care what your friends told you that you're going to be happier.
But every divorced person I've ever met was always miserable.
Isn't that funny?
Isn't that funny how everyone thinks my life's going to be so much better when I get rid
of my wife?
My life's gonna be so much better when I get rid of my husband.
But then you meet them at the workplace, you meet them out and about life, and they always
are just miserable.
They are living alone.
Their kids have moved out of the house.
They come home to some chihuahuas and that's all they got.
And here's another thing.
That's them now.
You know what else sucks about getting divorced?
It's called old age.
And this is something people often don't think about.
They blow up their marriage in their 40s and 50s.
Let's see how you feel about that in your 60s and 70s and your 80s when you've got no
one, when you've got no one to take care of you.
You know, part of marriage is investing in your youth into a strong relationship that
it's literally till death do us part.
That we are going to take care of each other.
We are going to love each other for better or for worse in sickness and in health, in
poverty and in wealth, forsaking all others, literally till death do us part.
And people that have the most blessed old age are people that still have the life of
their youth.
A woman that is stuck by him for 40, 50 years.
That is a beautiful thing right there.
And go talk to the older people that have been married for a long time.
Go talk to the men that haven't forsaken the wife of their youth.
You know what they're going to tell you?
They're going to tell you that everything I'm saying this morning is right.
They're going to say, hey, yeah, that guy may be in his 20s, but I'm over here and I'm
an older man now and I've got the wife of my youth, but you know what?
Everything he's saying is right right now.
Because it's coming from the word of God.
It's not my opinion.
It's not my philosophy.
It's the Bible.
Go to Proverbs chapter number five.
We'll close with this verse.
Proverbs chapter number five.
Proverbs chapter number five, verse 18.
Let's read it again.
Let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
You know, the sermon is definitely more directed towards the married men in the room this morning.
But look, hey, if you're not married, go find you a wife while you're young.
Because guess what?
The Bible says to rejoice with the wife of your youth.
Now I might preach a whole sermon someday called how to find a wife.
It's going to be like the most practical sermon ever.
Someone, some people need it in this room.
All right.
But look, if you're not married, go find your wife.
And if you are married, you know, don't let the world lie to you.
Don't let the world cause you to be jaded with marriage.
Don't let the world lie to you and tell you that you going out and flirting with some
other woman and committing adultery on your wife is going to make your life better.
You know, ladies, don't let the world lie to you and say, well, if I just leave my husband
and I just marry that dude that makes more money, I'm going to be so much happier.
You know what?
Those are all lies.
What does the Bible say?
What does God say to rejoice with the wife of thy youth?
Let's pray.
Lord, thank you for this day.
Thank you for the marriages in this room.
Thank you for my wife, Lord.
What a blessing she is to me.
I just pray that you bless all the marriages in this room, that people would be faithful
to their spouses, that people would love their spouses, and that you would just cause other
people in this room to get married and find a great spouse for them, that they could serve
the Lord with for all of their life.
We love you.
In Jesus name we pray.
Amen.