Malachi chapter number two.
Is my good brother cam.
All right.
And Malachi chapter two, the Bible says, we'll read it together.
And now, oh ye priests, this commandment is for you.
If you will not hear, and if you will not lay it to heart to give glory unto my
name, say at the Lord of hosts, I will even send a curse upon you.
And I will curse your blessings.
Yay.
I have cursed them already because you do not lay it to heart.
Behold, I will corrupt your seed and spread dung upon your faces, even the
dung of your solemn feasts, and one shall take you away with it.
And you shall know that I have sent this commandment unto you, that my covenant
might be with Levi, say at the Lord of hosts, my covenant was with him of life
and peace, and I gave them to him for the fear wherewith he feared me and was afraid
before my name.
The law of truth was in his mouth and iniquity was not found in his lips.
He walked with me in peace and equity and to turn many away from iniquity for the
priest's lips should keep knowledge and they should seek the law at his mouth.
For he is the messenger of the Lord of hosts, but ye are departed out of the way
you've caused many to stumble at the law.
You have corrupted the covenant of Levi, say at the Lord of hosts.
Therefore, have I also made you contemptible and base before all the people,
according as ye have not kept my ways, but have been partial in the law.
Have we not all one father?
Hath not one God created us?
Why do we deal treacherously every man against his brother by profaning the
covenant of our fathers?
Judah hath dealt treacherously and an abomination is committed in Israel and in
Jerusalem, for Judah hath profaned the holiness of the Lord, which he loved and
hath married the daughter of a strange God.
The Lord will cut off the man that do it this, the master and the scholar out of
the tabernacles of Jacob and him that offer it an offering unto the Lord of
hosts.
And this have you done again, covering the altar of the Lord with tears, with
weeping and with crying out in so much that he regardeth not the offering anymore
or receiveth it with good will at your hand.
Yet ye say, wherefore, because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of
thy youth against whom thou has dealt treacherously.
Yet is she thy companion and the wife of thy covenant.
And did he not make one?
Yet had he the residue of the spirit and wherefore one that he might seek a godly
seed.
Therefore, take heed to your spirit and let none deal treacherously against the wife of
his youth.
For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away for one covereth
violence with his garment, say the Lord of hosts.
Therefore, take heed to your spirit that you deal not treacherously.
You have wearied the Lord with your words.
Yet you say, wherein have we wearied him?
When you say everyone that doeth evil is good in the sight of the Lord and he
delighted in them or where is the God of judgment.
Let's have a word of prayer.
Lord, we thank you for this day.
Again, we thank you so much for the marriages of this room.
I thank you for my wife and the great blessing and support she is to me in the
ministry and just in life.
And I just pray that you would strengthen all the marriages in this room that you
bless the sermon.
Please fill me with the Holy Spirit.
We love you.
In Jesus name we pray.
Amen.
All right, so we're in Malachi chapter two and the part of this chapter I want to
focus on this evening is verse 14.
Look at verse 14.
The Bible says, yet ye say, wherefore, because the Lord hath been witnessed
between thee and the wife of thy youth against whom thou has dealt treacherously.
Yet is she thy companion and the wife of thy covenant.
Yeah.
First, I love that phrase of this verse that talks about the wife of your youth.
You know, it's a blessing to get married young.
We got a lot of young faces in this room, but by raise of hands, who has been
married for at least five years?
Okay.
Who's been married for at least 10 years.
All right.
Who's been married for 15 years.
There we go.
Awesome.
So praise Lord, you're still with the wife of your youth.
You know, that's a blessing.
That's a good thing for sure.
But let's keep reading where it says, yet she is thy companion and the wife of thy
covenant.
Now, what is a covenant?
Covenant is an agreement or promise, usually formal between two or more people
or groups to do or to not do something specified.
And the title of my sermon this evening is keep your vows, keep your vows because
whether you've been in this room married for 20 plus years or whether you've been
married for less than a year, you know, you made vows to that person.
You made a covenant to that person in the audience of your friends and family and a
man of God and God himself, because the Bible says that God was witness between
you and the wife of your covenant.
Okay.
So we have to take vows very seriously.
Go to keep your place in Malachi and go to Deuteronomy chapter 23.
Deuteronomy chapter 23.
You know, we live in a culture, we live in a time where the marriage vows have never
been esteemed so less, it seems like as they are today.
You know, it used to be that people would stay married just even if they're having
issues, even if their marriage isn't as hot as they would like it to be, you know,
they would stay married just out of honor of God and of the fact that they made a
promise, right?
People used to keep their word.
That used to be a normal thing.
But, you know, we need to bring that back where we keep our vows.
Look at Deuteronomy 23 verse 21.
It says, when thou shalt vow a vow unto the Lord, thou shalt not slack to pay it.
For the Lord thy God will surely require it of thee, and it would be sin in thee.
I like this verse because it doesn't just say, make sure you keep your vows.
It says, don't even be slack in paying the vows that you made to God.
So not only should you just stay married, I mean, that's the lowest bar possible for
your marriage, right?
And my desire and my hope for all the marriages in here is that you don't just
have a, well, we stay married, you know, tight marriage.
Now, if that's all you have, that's definitely better than getting divorced.
Don't hear me wrong.
But you know what?
You made vows beyond just staying married.
And we're going to talk about some of the vows that you made at the wedding altar.
But of all those vows that you made, you should not slack to pay those vows.
You should not halfheartedly be married, halfheartedly keep the promises that you
made.
You know, you should put all your heart and energy and effort into fulfilling the
promises that you made to your spouse and to God.
Look at verse 22, but if thou shalt forbear to vow, it shall be no sin in thee.
Look, no one forced you to get married.
You know, I don't think we're living in India here where, you know, we had some
sort of arranged marriage and you were forced to marry a certain person.
You know, every single person in this room decided to get married.
You of your own voluntary free will, you got up there and you said, I do.
You made those promises.
And so, you know, if you would have just foreborn to swear, if you just didn't make
a vow, then it wouldn't be sin in you.
And obviously, you know, people who are not yet married, we should constantly be
telling them like, hey, this is a serious decision.
This is a big commitment that you're making.
You don't want to just get married to someone on a whim.
You know, these, you know, the whole, you know, Las Vegas weekend.
Oh, we got married in Las Vegas.
That's a bad idea.
You know, you don't want to be hasty and making vows, but hey, once you've sat down
and you've decided we're getting married, we're making these, this covenant, we're
making this promise.
That is a lifelong commitment is lifelong thing that you promised.
Go back to Malachi chapter two, Malachi two.
So in verse 14, we saw the Bible talking about the covenant and in verse 15, it says,
And did he not, did not he make one yet had he the residue of the spirit and wherefore
one that he might seek a godly seed, therefore take heed to your spirit and let
none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
See, it's a treacherous thing for a man to break the covenant that he made with his
wife. And, you know, it's obvious.
It's just implied that it goes the same way for a wife as well.
You know, it's treacherous.
It's extremely wicked.
It's a terrible thing when people in marriage break their vows and not just the vow of,
you know, we're just staying married, right?
It's all, it's all the vows that you made.
Go to verse number 16, verse 16.
It says for the Lord, the God of Israel saith that he hadeth putting away.
So God hates divorce.
For one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts.
Therefore, take heed to your spirit that you deal not treacherously.
See, when you break the covenant of marriage, when you break the vows that you made, you
are violating your spouse.
You are committing an act of violence because you're violating their rights.
You're violating their trust.
You're violating the word that you spoke to them and that you spoke to God.
Go to 1 Peter chapter three, 1 Peter chapter number three.
And look, you could try to, you know, cover your violence with a garment.
You could try to hide your actions and you could put on a good show in front of people
and you could try to act like your great husband if you're really not.
Or you could try to act like your good wife if you're really not.
But God sees these things.
And when God sees someone trying to cover up the way that they're violating their
spouse, God's angry at that.
When, you know, God sees when a man puts away his wife or a wife puts away her husband
and God is angry with those things.
Look at 1 Peter three, verse seven.
It says, likewise, the husbands dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor
unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life.
Notice that your prayers be not hindered.
So notice that your relationship with your spouse, your marriage and the way that you're
treating each other and specifically how men are supposed to be honoring their wives could
actually not only harm your marriage, but actually harm your relationship with God
almighty and to where if you are dealing treacherously with your wife or, you know, if
ladies, if you're being a bad wife, your prayers can actually be hindered where God is
going to withhold his blessings from you.
God is going to not want to answer your prayers just by the way that you're treating
your spouse.
And of course, here in this verse, it's talking about how husbands should give honor
unto the wife, right?
You know, we believe in men being gentlemen, men being chivalrous, right?
Taking care of their ladies, protecting their ladies, treating them with love and
respect.
You know, we get this false accusation that we hate women, that, you know, the new IFB
hates women.
But it's such a joke because if any of you guys know me and we all know each other, that
is such a joke, that accusation that's leveled against us.
You know, we treat our ladies well, we give them honor, we love them, we take care of
them, we will take bullets for them.
You know, the men that are part of the safety team in this church, you know, they're
here to protect everyone.
You know, they're willing to put their lives on the line, if need be, to protect the
people of this church and especially the women and children.
You know, we love the women of this church, but more importantly, I love my wife and I
would die for my wife and I would do anything for my wife.
You know, that should be your goal as a husband.
That should be your mentality.
It's just like, hey, I'm going to give honor unto the wife as the weaker vessel.
By the way, of course, it's obvious that she's the weaker vessel, right?
But that's not to say, oh, that means she's bad.
I mean, she's not valuable.
No, you want to protect that which is weak, right?
You want to put more value to that and protect it and take care of it and honor it.
Now, what are the vows that you made?
I realize maybe not everyone in here said the exact same words at the wedding altar,
but this is a pretty common, pretty normal wedding vow that I've heard most, if not
all, weddings I've ever been to, which, by the way, the first wedding I ever went to in
my life was my own. So that was kind of fun.
But here's what it says.
It says, I blank take the blank.
Just think of your spouse to be my wedded wife or husband to have and to hold from this
day forward for better, for worse, for richer, for poor, in sickness and in health, to love
and to cherish till death do us part.
Now, raise your hand if you said vows very similar to that, if not exactly the same
thing. OK, every single person, every single person.
So this sermon applies to you, OK, because these are this is the covenant that you made.
I mean, this is the promise that you made to God in front of everyone, in front of your
friends and family.
This is what you promised. Now, go to First Corinthians chapter number seven.
First Corinthians, chapter number seven.
Now, the first part of these wedding vows that I want to focus on is the fact that you
willingly and deliberately chose the person you're married to, because the beginning says,
I take the right.
You are saying I want you.
I'm choosing you.
Look at First Corinthians seven, verse thirty six.
But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncombly toward his virgin, if she pass the
flower of her age and need so require notice, let him do what he will.
He sinneth not let them marry.
So you have free will to get married.
That is a decision you get to make.
The Bible does not say that you have to get married.
Right. There are stipulations on this.
Obviously, you know, it has to be a woman that is fully mature.
Right. And the man obviously should be fully mature.
It should be something between adults and but it's also something that you just choose.
You're choosing your spouse.
No one's forcing you on that.
You made that choice.
Now, the apostle Paul, he's talking about like, hey, you know,
if a man requires this, he let him do what he will because the
apostle Paul was able to keep his body in subjection.
He didn't really have this desire.
And so he chose to remain unmarried.
Now, this is very rare.
I don't think I've ever met anyone like this, but I've actually had lots of people
come up to me, single guys, of course.
And they're saying like, hey, I think I'm like the apostle Paul.
You know, I think that I can contain.
I just said, do you like women?
Do you want a woman?
Yes, you're not the apostle Paul.
OK, if you want them, then you need to get married.
You know, the Bible says it's better to marry than to burn.
Right. Talking about burning in your lust.
That is a natural temptation of men.
And you need to get married.
Look at verse thirty seven.
Nevertheless, he that standeth steadfast in his heart, having no necessity,
but hath power over his own will and hath so decreed in his heart that he
will keep his virgin doeth well, so then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well.
But he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.
The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth.
But if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will
only in the Lord. Right.
So one stipulation of marriage.
Hey, she's got to be past the flower of her age.
She's got to be a mature adult.
But beyond that is that she needs to be in the Lord and the man needs to be in the
Lord, meaning that they're both saved. Right.
And we definitely don't want to encourage people who are not yet married in this
room to go marry someone that's unsafe.
I mean, that has to be the number one box that is checked.
Now, everyone in here saved.
Praise the Lord for that.
I don't know if any of you got married before one of you were saved.
And if that's the case, praise the Lord that you're both saved now,
because I'll tell you what, it is a nightmare for people who are
married where one person is saved and the other isn't,
because what we talk about a lot lately, can to walk together except they be
agreed, right? You know, diversity is not a strength in marriage.
Folks, you agree on the foundations of life.
You want to be equally yoked together.
You want to have the same values to have a strong marriage.
You're going to have to have that and keep that throughout your whole marriage.
So, again, let me read the vows here says,
I take thee to be my wedded wife.
We talked about that to have and to hold from this day forward.
Now, let me tell you about another extremely
important part of marriage that I will always preach.
I'll never stop preaching about this because people's marriages get hurt.
My bad doctrine on this is due benevolence.
This is the foundation of marriage.
Leave and cleave.
The foundation of marriage is not I like you.
OK, the foundation of marriage is not we're friends.
The foundation of marriage is not he makes me laugh.
She's pretty. No, this is the foundation of marriage is due benevolence.
OK, go to First Corinthians seven, verse one.
Notice what it says now concerning the things where of he wrote
unto me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife
and let every woman have her own husband.
The Bible is saying here that the purpose of having a wife,
the purpose of having a husband is to avoid fornication.
Right, because fornication is a wicked sin.
You know, the world don't let the world
brainwash you to think, well, everyone does.
It's not that big of a deal. No, even if everyone does it, it's wicked as hell.
No, even if everyone out there is doing it, it's not allowed here in this church.
And, you know, us as Christians, we need to care about what God actually
says in God's opinion on things, not just what's popular out there.
What are people doing out there?
No, we need to avoid fornication.
We need to encourage the young people in our church to avoid fornication.
And, you know, the solution for that is getting married.
Look, if there's any single guys listening out there, get married, bro.
Lift weights, brush your teeth, wash your hands, put on deodorant.
Stop dressing like a dork.
OK, because you want to avoid fornication and kind of need a wife to do that.
OK, man, stop wearing the same color tie as your shirt, bro.
It's so bad.
Stop wearing sneakers all the time with your suit.
It looks weird. All right.
All right. We're getting a little specific here.
Let's let's look at what the Bible says.
Go to Hebrews Chapter 13, Hebrews Chapter number 13.
But look,
you could have you know, someone can make you laugh.
Your wife can make you laugh.
Your wife can be pretty.
Oh, the husband can make the wife laugh.
But look, if this part of your marriage is
messed up, your whole marriage will be messed up.
If the due benevolence part is destroyed, your marriage is headed for disaster.
And look, I say it all the time.
There's a difference between what is right and what people do.
You know, what is right is till death do us part.
You know, for me, I will be till death do us part no matter what.
But let me just tell you the reality
of what happens in marriage is that people get these stupid ideas.
Maybe the wife is bought into feminism.
Maybe the husband's super weird in this area.
I don't know what the problem is.
But what happens is that you're opening up the door for temptation for your spouse.
And yes, they should just deal with that for the rest of their life.
But let me just tell you the reality of what most people will do, though.
They won't do that.
A lot of people head into sin if this area is messed up.
Are you trying to scare me into doing what's right?
Yes, I'm trying to scare you into doing into doing what's right.
You know, it should scare you.
The thought of your spouse not being satisfied in this area and feeling like
they need it from another source like that should terrify you.
I mean, that's like the worst thought ever.
But guess what happens all the time?
Literal adultery happens all the time and it's sick and disgusting.
And God merits the death penalty on that wicked sin.
But just because that's how God feels,
does that mean that that's what everyone's going to obey?
No.
And so you want to avoid that temptation.
You need to do benevolence in your life.
Hebrews 13 forces marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled.
But whoremongers and adulterers, God will judge.
You know, don't let the world or, you know, some weird sect of Catholics
try to brainwash you into thinking that there's something sinful about this.
There's something dirty about this.
There's something wrong with this area.
No, marriage is honorable in all, the Bible says.
And the bed undefiled.
You know, this is an area of life that God wants you to enjoy.
He gave it to you as a gift.
He gave you your spouse for you to have this physical relationship with.
But you know what God will judge, though, is adulterers and whoremongers.
God will judge those that commit fornication.
God will judge those that commit adultery.
But, you know, this relationship is
supposed to be enjoyed to its fullest extent in marriage.
OK, do benevolence.
You know, I heard someone say that it just means being nice.
You know, it's a little more than just being nice.
It definitely is an act of kindness.
I mean, that's one of the definitions of
benevolence is a charitable gift or an act of kindness.
Yet that's a great gift.
That's a great act of kindness.
You know, but it's a little more than just being nice.
OK, I think we know what the Bible is saying in this area.
But notice what it says in verse three of I think we're still in.
Yeah, sorry, go back to First Corinthians seven.
I meant to tell you to keep a place there.
First Corinthians, chapter number seven.
And look at verse number three.
It says, Let the husband render unto the wife, notice, do
benevolence and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
You want to know why this charitable gift
and act of kindness is something that's due under your spouse?
Because you got up in front of everyone
and you said to have and to hold till death do us part.
That's not just saying to hang out, folks.
It's to have and to hold.
That is part of the wedding vows that you swore.
And you know what?
If you are withholding this from your spouse, that is wicked.
That is fraud.
God is not happy with that.
He's saying let the husband render unto the wife do benevolence.
And, you know, sometimes even marriages have the issue where it's like the husband
is the one that's the problem in this area where the husband is not giving his wife
due benevolence, Bible says, let him render that unto her.
And likewise, also the wife unto the husband.
Stay there. I'll read for you Genesis to twenty four.
It says, Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and shall
cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh.
Right. This is the foundation of marriage.
Verse four says the wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband.
And likewise, also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
Hey, sorry, it's not my body, my choice, it's my wife's body, my choice.
Ladies, it's your husband's body, your choice.
Right.
None of this weird feminist garbage where, you know, you're married to someone and
they want to bring out a consent form, you know, a legal consent form.
That's weird.
If you have to sign a consent form, it probably means you're committing
for occasion, so just don't do it.
But once you get married, it's to have and to hold.
You know, this idea that this is something
that is a contract that you could work out between your spouse.
No, this is something you already agreed to when you got married
up front before marriage happens, you're saying I'm willing to do this.
And if you're not willing or wanting to have this relationship, let me help you.
Don't get married.
Why? Because this is the foundation of marriage.
You know, people who cannot perform in this area,
I would never recommend for them to get married.
You know, someone has some sort of serious
disability where they're not able to perform this act.
I would not recommend that person to get
married because they're going to be defrauding someone in the foundation
of marriage. I mean, you said, oh, that sounds super harsh.
No, what sounds harsh is defrauding someone for their whole life.
That's what's super harsh.
I mean, this is why you get married.
It does not make sense for someone with,
you know, some sort of crazy disability to get married like that.
Look at verse number five, it says, defraud ye not one the other,
except it be with consent for a time that you may give yourselves to fasting
and prayer and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
So notice it should be something where it's always on the table.
The default answer is yes.
It's always something that's available to both parties.
And you'd have to actually get consent
to not participate in this act and to not have this relationship.
You'd be like, hey, is it OK if, you know,
can we do some fasting for the Bahamas today?
You know, we want to have a great turnout at the Bahamas Mission Strip.
Can we do some fasting today?
OK, honey, no problem.
That's actually how it should go down.
But it shouldn't be like, oh, you know,
if I get your nails done and I take out all the trash and I mop the floor for you
and I clean up everything and I build us a new fence and I buy you a new car,
then do you think maybe like this is how a lot of marriages are today,
where it's like some sort of quid pro quo, where it's some sort of like, hey,
I'll do all these over the top favors for you.
I'll go, you know, the extra mile look.
And here's the thing, men go the extra mile, do all the favors,
buy her the coffees, rub her feet, but not to receive that in return.
It should be like, I love you.
And ladies, if your husband doesn't buy you the coffee,
doesn't build you the new fence, doesn't buy you the new Lamborghini,
you still owe this.
This is due benevolence.
And when you withhold this, you're committing fraud and obviously
vice versa the same if it's reversed, you know, don't get this weird attitude.
You know, that's just like a weird power
dynamic in a marriage when the husband's supposed to be in charge.
And he's got to like walk through a mile of broken glass to have his wife.
That's wicked. You know, that's stupid.
That's a good way to destroy your marriage.
I'm warning you. It's kind of funny.
But when you talk to people that I talk
to, when you get the emails that I get, no, it's not funny.
It's not funny at all.
It's very, very sad.
And there's a lot of marriages that are hurting really, really bad today.
There's a lot of people really, really struggling.
And it's like, look, life is hard enough as it is.
OK, let's not let's not like be like the Catholics where we deprive ourselves
of the two greatest joys in life, meat and marriage.
No. OK, these doctrines of devils, the Bible says.
OK, life's hard.
Enjoy your wife. Enjoy the wife of your youth.
Enjoy your husband. Enjoy some good food.
Like, can we just live a normal life here
and not buy into this feminism that is destroying America and destroying marriages?
You know, in another part of the wedding ceremony,
the pastor usually says, wilt thou have this woman to die lawfully wedded wife
to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony?
Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor her and keep her in sickness and in health?
And notice this forsaking all others.
Keep the only unto her so long as he both shall live.
So notice there's the do benevolence aspect, but it's not like, oh, yeah,
you know, you have the do benevolence and on top of that you have someone else.
No, that's wicked as hell.
And, you know, there's this weird thing creeping in our society of throuples
or open marriages or open relationships where you're with someone.
They're your wife.
You're their husband or boyfriend or girlfriend, which is obviously terrible.
But on top of that, it's just like, yeah, you want another guy?
No problem. We're still married.
We're still good. Go ahead and go with other guys.
Oh, you want other ladies? No problem.
That's totally normal.
No, it's keeping yourself only unto your spouse so long as you both shall live.
You know, that's that's unclean.
That's disgusting.
That's a good way to just get the judgment of God on our whole frickin world when
God's looking down and they're just destroying themselves when everyone's
naying after their neighbor's wife, when everyone's committing adultery
and fornication, when disease is rampant in the land.
You know, don't act like the sodomites that just lay with anyone.
You know, man, don't give your strength unto women.
Why don't you just award your strength to one woman?
Why don't you just be faithful to one woman and stay with her?
Because I'm telling you, as in the carnal
mind of man, that they think that's worth it, that's going to be fun,
that's going to be nice, it's never true, it's never true.
When you're when you destroy your marriage, when your finances are shot,
when you're paying child support for a bastard kid, when you're in divorce court,
when your life is a train wreck, it's not going to be worth that short
amount of time with the whore, not to mention if you carry some disease
with you for the rest of your life, not to mention that your marriage is
probably irreparable for the rest of your life.
No, it's not worth it.
Stick with one person.
I take thee to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward.
Notice for better, for worse, for richer,
for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part.
Another part of the vows you made is that
you vowed to stay married no matter what, whether you are dirt poor
and you can't afford anything and you're scraping by and you're living on beans
and rice and you live in a really shady part of town in a not very nice house
and you drive a not very nice car and you struggle and you struggle,
you stay married, you know, ladies, you don't just leave
your husband because there's another guy out there that's richer.
There's always going to be another guy out there that's richer.
By the way, man, this is a good idea to get married young
because, you know, they married you for who you are because every young guy
pretty much has no money.
So this is a good, good idea for young men get married while you're young.
But look, in sickness and in health, you know, thank God my wife and I,
we we haven't really had to deal with some sort of like crazy sickness
or like lifelong chronic illness or something like that.
That would be very difficult.
And I'm sure there's some situations that are way harder than others.
I mean, think about men and women that get married in their 20s
and their spouse dies of cancer in their 20s.
You know, that's that's terrible.
I had a cousin like that who died in her 20s from cancer.
There's people who, you know, have tragic accidents, tragic car wrecks,
military veterans, you know, men going off to war and coming back disfigured
and burn and without parts of their body.
Look, you said till death do us part for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer, for sickness and in health.
You know, do not ever leave your spouse.
Guess when you can marry someone else when they die.
That's it.
But until then, it's till death do us part.
You know, it's just crazy, like situations like I was talking about,
like men will go off to war and then their wife is like at home
cheating on them the whole time.
Like, could you imagine how sick of a person you'd have to be to do something
like that, you know, or they come back and they're a little messed up from war.
And so she's like, oh, just find someone else.
How sick?
You know, or or men, you know, their wives will get pregnant
and they'll gain weight because, hello, they just had a baby.
They're growing another human.
It's like, oh, she's not 10 percent body fat.
See you later. Discarded.
How shallow, how gross.
You know, do not ever forsake your spouse.
Go to Matthew Chapter 19, Matthew Chapter 19.
And remember,
don't even slack to pay your vows, not just like, oh, I'm just grudgingly
staying married, but I hate every second of it.
No, just don't even grudgingly pay your vows.
Don't be slack to pay it.
Put your whole heart into it.
But look at this attitude people have.
Matthew 19, verse three.
The Pharisees also came on to him, tempting him and saying unto him,
is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
What kind of a stupid question is that?
Can you just divorce her for any reason?
You know, it's like, what?
How is this even a sincere question?
The answer and said unto them, have you not read
that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female?
See, if Adam and Eve got divorced, what would happen then?
Well, who is Adam going to go marry?
No, that wasn't going to work right.
Made a male and female and said, for this cause shall a man leave father
and mother and shall cleave to his wife and they twain shall be one flesh.
Wherefore they are no more twain but one flesh.
What therefore God hath joined together.
Let not man put asunder.
Leave your excuses at the door.
Leave your stupid, bad liberal preaching at the door.
What God has joined together, let not man put asunder.
They say unto him, why did Moses then
command to give a writing of divorcement and to put her away?
By the way, this is what people do when they want to make excuses for divorce.
They pull out parts of the Bible that they don't understand.
They've never read the Bible cover to cover.
They don't understand the context.
They don't understand.
They can't find the passages of the Bible that talk about marriage.
They can't just open it and show you because they don't know the word of God.
But these people are just bringing up some passage and they're going to twist it.
Jesus says, though, he sayeth unto them,
Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts,
suffered you to put away your wives from the beginning.
It was not so.
So he's saying, look, the only reason that this was even in existence,
this exception, this clause in the Bible was because of the hardness of your hearts.
You know, it's kind of like how God never says, go marry multiple women.
God never says, oh, yeah, polygamy is totally fine.
No, we just read what Jesus said, right?
That a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves unto his wife.
Right. And those twain shall be one flesh.
You know, polygamy is wrong.
Yet you have places in the Bible where God says, if you do take another wife,
here's how you have to treat her.
You have to provide for her needs.
You can't diminish her duty of marriage.
Is that God really saying, please have polygamy.
I support polygamy. No, it's not right.
Just like how the Bible teaches not to leave your spouse.
Let not the wife depart from the husband.
Don't let the husband depart from the wife.
But it says, but and if she depart, let her remain unmarried.
Right. Or to be reconciled under her husband.
So there's situations in the Bible where God says, here's what I want you to do.
Here's what's right. But here's what to do if someone sins.
Here's what to do. Someone doesn't do what was right.
And so the God's plan was always never divorce for any reason.
Let not man put asunder.
But because of the hardness of your hearts
suffered you to put away your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
And I say unto you.
So now we get Jesus.
He's gonna make it real clear for us.
Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, not adultery,
not sexual immorality, fornication, which takes place before
marriage consummation, by the way, whosoever shall put away his wife,
except it be for fornication, and shall marry another committeth adultery.
And whoso maryeth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
His disciples saying to him, if the case
of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
And to those people, I would say you chose to get married.
You're the one that said I do.
You're the one that walked down the aisle.
Young lady, you're the one that took his hand and said, yep, I'll be his wife.
Right. You made that decision.
So now that you've made that decision,
you need to eliminate divorce from your mind, eliminate divorce from your heart.
It's not an option, folks.
Look better.
And I don't hope this for anyone,
but better to have a crappy marriage for the rest of your life than be divorced.
And I'm not even just saying that from a sin perspective, which that's true as well.
I'm saying that from a quality of life
perspective, that your life will be worse when you get divorced.
And, you know, it's you think you're real
fun and free when you get divorced at thirty five at forty five.
Yeah. But what happens when 60 starts creeping up on you?
What happens when 70 starts creeping up
on you and you're getting old and you're alone?
That sounds terrifying.
That's getting old.
Thankfully, I've never done it.
I will someday, but I've seen it happen and it's scary.
Let's just be honest. It's like that does not look fun.
You know, and even middle age, you watch Mike Tyson fight and it's just like, dang,
even Mike Tyson doesn't have it in him anymore.
You know, this natural force is getting evaded a little bit.
But look, getting old sucks.
You want to do it with your spouse.
You want to have someone to support you.
You know, when one falls, you want your
brother or sister in Christ to be there to pick you up.
Right.
Go to First Corinthians or we'll skip that.
Go to Ephesians chapter five, Ephesians chapter five.
But just realize that divorce is a short sighted view.
It's what people do that lack character,
that lack resolve to work on their problems, that want to just throw in the towel
and quit and look, that mentality is going to ruin every aspect of your life.
But please do not get divorced.
I'm begging you. I've seen it happen.
Never have I seen a good outcome.
Stay with your spouse.
I take thee to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward
for for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish till death do us part.
The ladies, when they say this, it says to love,
cherish and obey till death do us part, Ephesians five, verse twenty two.
The Bible says.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord,
for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church,
and he is the savior of the body.
Remember, ladies, you vowed you made a promise.
You made a covenant to obey your husband.
And you say, oh, no, I got married in a liberal church.
We didn't say those words. Well, guess what?
The Bible still says it.
So you're still you know, you're under that.
You know, you're not going to escape that provision.
You must obey your husbands.
And look, it's what's good for you and for your husbands.
It's not like God's coming up with this punishment for women.
You know, let's punish women by causing them to obey their husbands.
No, the law of God is not grievous.
His commandments are for our betterment.
Christ came to give us life and to give us life more abundantly.
And the way the Christian way of life is the best way of life.
The marriages in the world where, you know, these men are just, you know,
being run by their wives, some sort of feminist hellhole.
Those are crappy marriages.
Those are terrible homes.
Those type of guys go to the attic to hide from the brawling and contentious woman.
Those kind of guys go hide in the mountains and they'd rather face the bears
and the cougars and the wolves and all the creatures of the forest rather
than the creature at home, the brawling and contentious woman.
You know, you know, a woman like that without discretion.
The Bible talks about how it's like a pig with basically a pearl in its snout.
I'm paraphrasing.
But, you know, it's like you're still a pig at the end of the day when you're one
of these brawling, contentious wives that don't want to obey your husband.
Notice what it says in verse twenty four.
Therefore, as the church is subject unto
Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Ladies, keep your vows, keep the covenant that you made.
It doesn't say obey your husband if you agree with his decision.
Guess what? That's not obedience.
Obedience is when you disagree with his decision.
Obey your husband.
That means that I'll do what he said after I've argued with him for 30 minutes
and I've screamed and I've thrown remotes
around the house and I've spent all his money, then I'll do what he says.
That's not obedience either.
Obedience is you obey right away with a good attitude.
That's what all people who are in obedient positions,
submissive positions in life should do is obey right away with a good attitude.
But husbands,
verse twenty five, his husbands love your wives,
even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it.
That's not a small level of love that God commands us to give our wives.
You know, loving your wife as Christ loved the church.
How much does Jesus Christ love us?
You know, it's immense.
You can't even put it into words how
much he loved us, that he would sacrifice himself on the cross.
And look, man, you should have so much
love for your wife that you can't even express it in words.
Right. I mean, it's not even something you could think of.
It's just like, would you would Jesus sacrifice himself for the church?
Without question.
It's like, would you sacrifice yourself for your wife?
It should just be like not even a thought process, just danger.
You're there. It's just a reaction because you love her.
Right. And look, like you said, ladies, keep your vows.
But men, keep your vows.
Love your wife.
Your wife deserves not just to be stayed
with, not just to be not divorced, like your wife deserves to be loved.
Your wife deserves to be honored.
Your wife deserves to be cherished.
It's not love your wife if she cooks five star meals, breakfast, lunch and dinner.
You know, it's not love your wife if she's fulfilling whatever expectation you have.
It's love your wife, period.
End of story as Christ loved the church.
Why does your wife why does my wife deserve love?
Because you said I do, that's why.
Well, she's a bad wife.
Well, who knows if that's even true?
Maybe you're a crappy husband.
But even if that was true, you said I do.
You said that you would love her and cherish her for better or for worse,
for richer or for poorer in sickness and in health.
It doesn't matter your circumstance.
It doesn't matter what you think about her actions.
You better love your wife.
You know, of course, we could and we also could deal in the idealistic
situation that, hey, the more loving that a wife is, the more obedient she is,
the more respectful she is, the more likely that your husband will love you.
And that is true. Amen.
Right. That's true in most cases.
But here's the thing.
I don't want men to have this mentality where they think, well, OK,
so I'll award love to my wife as long as she's doing that.
No, you just do your side, period.
And ladies, it's not, well, I'll obey if he meets all these expectations,
if he rubs my feet, if he buys me coffee, if he does this.
No, it's just you obey, period.
And look, when someone in a marriage actually has the maturity and the
character and the fear of God to just do what they're supposed to do,
you know, you single handedly could make your marriage so good.
If one person is walking in the spirit,
if one person will obey what God says, your marriage can thrive.
And your husband, you know, ladies,
if you're in that situation where you're doing what's right in that situation,
your husband could be won over by the conversation of the wives.
That's what the Bible says.
Doesn't say it's an ironclad guarantee.
There's some bad guys out there.
But, you know, it's going to give you the greatest chance at not only a marriage
that doesn't end in divorce, but a happy and successful marriage.
It's very simple.
It's not hard to know what to do.
It's hard to do it.
It's husbands love your wives and wives obey your husbands.
That's really that simple.
Go to, if you will,
we'll end it in Ecclesiastes chapter five, Ecclesiastes chapter number five.
You know, men love your wives, consider her, put her needs first,
put her wants first, you know, don't be one of these guys,
as soon as you get paid, you spend it all on yourself.
That's childish.
You know, that's that's a that's a weak leader.
That's just it's all about him.
It's all about the things that he wants.
No, a real leader puts his followers first.
And though he's in charge, though he's making all the decisions,
he's making all those decisions for the betterment of his followers.
And look, as a man, your wife may not agree with all your decisions.
But if you are knowing I am making this
decision for her betterment, she just doesn't know it.
You stick with your decision because guess what?
That is loving your wife.
Even if you're making her mad in the moment, if you're making a decision,
if you tell your wife, no, but it's for her good, that is loving your wife.
You know, a leader that tells his followers,
no, when it's best for them, that is loving his followers.
And so don't think that love your wife means do whatever she said.
No, no, no. Don't get this twisted.
Right. Wives obey husband's love.
But loving can sometimes mean no to Ecclesiastes five, verse four.
We'll end it here.
It says, When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it.
For he hath no pleasure in fools pay that which thou has vowed.
Better is it that thou shouldest not
vow than that thou shouldest vow and not pay.
Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin.
Neither say thou before the angel or that it was an error.
Wherefore should God be angry at thy voice and destroy the work of thine hands?
Look, people that break their marriage vows, not only people that just completely
break their marriage vows, but even people who are slack to pay it.
You know, that makes God angry.
And you know what? No one forced you to vow.
No one forced you to promise.
No one forced you to enter in this covenant.
You can't say, oh, preacher, it was a mistake.
It was an error.
Too late for that. Right.
That's why we want to tell the next generation, hey, be careful.
It's a serious decision.
Don't make it rashly.
But guess what? All of us who are married right now, you made the right decision.
You know what the right decision is? To stay married.
You know what the right decision is to keep your vows, because when you break them,
look at what it did at the end there, it says, God, be angry at thy voice
and destroy the work of thine hands, right?
Got your prayers being hindering, being hindered.
God turning away from you, your relationship with him being severed.
You know, God punishing you, God chastising you for being a bad spouse.
You know, let that not be us.
Let us be good husbands in this room.
Let us be great wives in this room.
Let us be the example to the world.
Right. I mean, we are supposed to be God's children.
We're supposed to be reflections of Jesus Christ.
People are supposed to look at us and say, wow, that's an amazing thing you got going on there.
Wow. I've never seen a woman act like that.
She just obeyed you. That's insane.
Right. Or like, wow, there's still some men that, you know, like hold heavy things.
There's still some men that are gentlemen.
Right. You know, that is attractive to the world.
And that could even lead to people getting saved, God willing.
But, you know, we want to make sure we're Christians that keep our vows,
that we're not even slack to pay our vows.
We'll finish by reading this one more time.
I take thee to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish ladies and obey till death do us part.
Let's pray. Lord, thank you for this day.
Thank you for Anchor Baptist Church.
Thank you for the marriages in here.
I pray that you please strengthen the relationships in this room.
That every marriage would have a rock solid foundation centered around Christ,
centered around desiring to follow the Bible and serve you.
I pray that you'd help the husbands to be great leaders in this room,
to truly love their wives with all of their heart and to lead for the betterment
of their spouses and families. I pray for the ladies that they would
fear you and be in submission to their husband and be a good help meet for them.
And I pray that you'd bless our church with many more marriages and.