The Bible says, Colossians 3 verse 19, it says,
husbands, love your wives and be not bitter against them.
Be not bitter against them.
I think I heard a really great quote from,
I'll bring up Pastor Mendez again.
He had a good quote in one of his sermons not too long ago
and it said, be better, not bitter.
Be better, not bitter.
Hey, if you're bitter against your spouse all the time,
maybe you just need to get better as a husband.
Why don't you think of it that way
instead of trying to blame them for everything
that's going wrong, blame yourself.
Take responsibility for what you're not doing right.
And look, if you're in a new marriage,
let me just explain something to you.
You shouldn't be working 90 hours a week, all right?
You should be working as little as possible,
not as little as possible, enough to support your family,
but look, to try to labor to be rich in a new marriage,
if they're just sitting at home,
waiting for you to get home and you're never there
and you're never spending time with your kids,
let me tell you something,
it's not gonna be a good marriage.
And I'll tell you what, they don't feel loved.
Doesn't the Bible say that if you're in a new marriage,
you're supposed to take a year and not go,
you're not supposed to go to the military and be a soldier.
And I would say this,
you probably shouldn't be starting a new business.
You probably shouldn't be spending so much time away
that you never get a chance to even show your wife
that you do love her.
If your marriage relationship starts off
and you're just never home, you're just, bye.
Or you're always with your friends
or you're always doing, you know, love your wife.
Why did you marry her if you didn't even wanna love her?
Why?
Why did you get married if you didn't wanna love your wife?
Because I'll tell you what, if you don't get that right,
your family's never gonna be right.
It says, be not bitter against them.
And look, you know why the Bible says that?
You know why the Bible emphasizes these things?
Because men have a hard time with love.
We're not really super emotional by nature.
You know, they'll be like,
your wife will be crying about something,
you're like, what are you crying about?
But you don't do that, don't make that face.
Trying to help you here.
Don't do the, you know the kid in the meme
with the little buck teeth, she's like.
Don't be that.
When they're like, crying, like, oh baby, it's okay,
you know, and you're like.
We don't understand that, we don't under,
because men, most men don't cry a lot.
I'm not saying don't cry because we should cry sometimes.
But if you're a man and you're always crying,
you need to do some pushups,
take some testosterone or something.
You need to take the skinny jeans off
and put some bag of your pants on or something.
But men shouldn't be super emotional.
But why does God emphasize us loving?
Because it's something we need to emphasize on.
It's something we struggle with.
Doesn't God put things in his word so he can help us?
And so if we're struggling with love,
hey, you need to work on it.
If you're struggling with not being, you know,
if you're struggling with loving yourself
more than your wife, you know, the Bible says
if you love your wife, you do love yourself
because you're one flesh.
So, and then it says in Colossians 3, 19,
husbands love your wives and be not bitter against them.
You know, why?
Because men get bitter.
You know, men get tired of you,
just being like, ah, about everything.
And wives don't nag your husbands, that's annoying too.
But, you know, be not bitter against them, why?
Because they're always nagging.
It gets annoying.
Or the constant put downs.
Men don't like to be put down.
You know what they like?
They like to be respected.
So, you know, wives, help your husband out.
If you want them to be loving, why don't you be respectful?
And if they fail, don't be ready to cut them down
over everything that they do.
You know what, guess what, being a leader's hard.
And you get to be able to say, well, you know,
I gotta ask my husband.
You get to be able to use those excuses.
And they're not excuses, they're actually
what you should be like.
But what I'm saying is that you need to make sure
that you are setting your husband up for success.
You know, if your husband's not being successful,
maybe he's struggling as a leader.
Help him be a better man.
You know, help him to be a Proverbs 31 wife,
and try to make sure that his name is praised
in the gates of the people.
That people look and they say, I respect that man.
Don't talk bad about your husband's behind their backs
to other women, to other people in church.
That's wrong.
You know who your problem should stay between?
You and them, period.
Not you and the kids.
If your dad was a better provider.
That's wrong, you should never do that.
And so I'm trying to help you, wives,
if you wanna be loved, you wanna help them
and be a good dad, we'll set them up for success
and quit ragging on them all the time.
Don't be the continual dropping woman.
You're Chinese water torturing them.
Sorry, I'm not trying to do Asian hate.
But the Chinese water torture is what it's called, right?
Okay, whatever.
Where you're just dropping water.
If someone just dropped a thing of water on your head
constantly, it would start to hurt.
It would be annoying.
So the Bible kinda teaches it the same way.
It's the wives that are contentious are continual dropping.
It's better to dwell on the corner of a house top
than it is a loud and brawling wife to hang out,
to be some wife that just never shuts up
and never quits nagging at you all the time.
That's annoying.
And no man should have to put up with an obnoxious wife
that just sits there and rips on you all the time.
It's wicked, it's wrong, you shouldn't be doing it.
You wanna be loved?
Show some respect.