Forgiving doesn't mean forgiving and reminding.
Yeah, that's good.
Okay, so in other words, if this person
who was once at a church because of their fornication,
let's say a couple months into their restoration,
they offend you, you don't bring up the fact
that they fornicated a couple months back
or that they were disciplined for being a fornicator.
You don't say, well, yeah, I know you caught me
listening to rap music, but hey,
at least I wasn't a fornicator.
Don't do that.
Forgiving means you forgave, okay?
Tell him I call him back.
Just kidding.
Forgiving means you forgive.
You know, the Lord doesn't rub our sins in our faces.
He's separated as far as East is from West.
He's buried in the deepest part of the ocean,
the Bible says, and so we're not reminded of those things.
Now, we're chastised when we commit those things,
but God doesn't shove it in our face.
Neither should we, okay?
We ought to, when someone's trying to get restored,
we don't remind them of the mistakes
they made in the past, they're failures, okay?
Because what happens is that discourages them, all right?
And look, what about the sins that you've committed
that you weren't even caught for?
What about the things that you've done
and God had mercy and grace upon your personal life?
So before you become this Pharisaical jerk
and you start gaining on the person who was restored
but maybe messed up in the past,
start thinking about your failures
and the areas that you messed up on, and guess what?
That'll cause you to put the brakes on a little bit
when you're judging your brother
who's coming back to church, okay?
So forgive them, but it doesn't say just forgive them.
Guess what we gotta do, number two is comfort them, okay?
Because if they've been chewed out by the devil,
if they've been destroyed, then guess what?
They need some comfort, they need some encouragement.
Comfort comes through food.
Let's go out to eat, man, you know?
Let's go to arts, I'll get you a burger or whatever, you know?
And let's go get a coffee, let's hang out,
you move on as if nothing ever happened is what you do.
You gotta comfort them, all right?
Include them in the fellowship,
include them when you go out sowing,
include them when you go hang out outside of church,
include them, that's part of the comfort,
because that's what they need, okay?
So, you know, they're overcome with much sorrow,
so why do we need to comfort them after we forgive them?
It's called closure.
They need to have closure
from the mistakes they made in the past.
And let me just remind everyone,
is that any time anybody gets disciplined,
whether it's in a family setting, it's in a church setting,
there has to be closure, okay?
Let me give you an example of this, all right?
I come from a Hispanic home.
So in Hispanic homes, the mom knows how to whoop, okay?
She has a good hand,
doesn't matter how far you are in the room,
she's got a good arm, she's very accurate, okay?
And she's fast, the hand is fast, all right?
And the reason Hispanics are alive
is because they know what I'm talking about.
And, you know, I'm thankful that my mom whooped me
growing up, I'm really thankful for that.
I wasn't thankful for it when it was happening, you know?
I joke and I say, I learned how to box for my mom, okay?
You know, just duking and talking
and trying to get out of the way.
But here's the thing is, one thing that lacked a lot
in Hispanic homes when it came to discipline was closure.
Because I remember there'd be times when we would get whooped
and it's just like my mom and I wouldn't talk for like days.
It's just like whoop, you get whooped,
and it's just awkward for days, you know?
And you kind of have to ease into,
you kind of have to ease into like talking to each other,
like, you know, talking about something completely different
and then you just move on with your lives
like a week later, you know?
And by the way, I'm not complaining about my mom,
nor am I dishonoring my mom
because my mom was not even saved.
And she did a good job putting a whooping on me
and that's why I'm not dead today, okay?
That's why I'm not involved in gangs
and I'm not a stinking crack addict or anything like that,
it's because my mom whooped me, okay?
So I'm thankful for that.
But an element that was missing within that discipline
was closure.
You see, anytime we get disciplined,
there needs to be closure to that.
So if you discipline your child,
bring closure to that to say, hey, you did wrong
and this is why I disciplined you.
Now let's pray.
Give them a hug and let them move on with their lives, okay?
And by the way, that's how you can avoid your children
being bitter towards you too, okay?
Because a lot of times people grow up and they're like,
yeah, I was whooped, but I was just so mad at my mom,
I was so mad at my dad, because there's no closure.
But if your parents whooped you
and then they brought closure to you,
they hugged you, they prayed with you,
you understood that it came from a person
who actually loved you, they wanted what's best for you.
And I'm not saying our parents didn't,
obviously they didn't have the instructions of the Bible,
they didn't have these principles that we can go by,
but we do.
So now there's no excuse, amen?
We have the Bible, we have the word of God,
we know what the Bible says,
we can apply this to our personal lives, okay?
So it's important to have closure in family,
but guess what, in church as well.
You know, that's why God says, hey, comfort that person.
So don't just forgive them and give them the cold shoulder.
You know, it's just like, I forgive them,
but I'm not gonna talk to them,
I'm not even gonna look at them.
If he goes over there, I'm gonna be over here, you know?
Or if he takes from this drink right here,
I'm gonna go, I just don't wanna see that person ever again.
You don't have the right attitude, okay?
Because forgiveness has to accompany comfort, okay?
And a person who's mature in the Lord,
who's not an immature little brat will say,
you know what, there's more to life than just this.
Let me forgive my brother, let me comfort him,
and you'll gain your brother, you know?
The greatest thing in life is to gain brethren, you know?
To gain friends, to gain people that you love,
that love you back, that have your back,
and you have theirs.
But you know what, if you don't practice
this matter of forgiveness and comfort,
you lose brethren, okay?
You wanna make sure that you're a likable person.
You know, a man who hath friends
must show himself friendly.
Well, part of that is just comforting and forgiving
when that person has done wrong, okay?
So there needs to be a element of closure
when you discipline your children.
There needs to be an element of closure
when you get in a fight with your wife,
I mean a loud discussion with your wife, you know?
If there's a time in your family's, in your marriage,
where you guys don't agree, and you get in an argument,
well, first of all, don't let the sun go down
upon your wrath.
Second of all, I forgive you, and I forgive, you know, okay.
But let's go ahead and comfort, okay?
Let's go ahead and start talking to each other once again.
Let's get along once again, okay?
Because forgiveness needs to be accompanied
with comfort as well.
Why, because when you comfort,
you're confirming your love toward them.
You understand that, okay?