to God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,
submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
Now, what does that mean?
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
Now, I've heard a lot of false doctrine about this,
and I just want to make this really clear how this is false.
They'll try to connect verse 21 to 22.
This is false.
They'll try to say,
oh, wives and husbands are supposed to submit to each other.
That's a mess.
That makes no sense.
That's basically saying nobody's in charge.
You know, if we're submitting to one another in marriage,
then there's no head.
There's no authority there, right?
I submit to her.
She submits to me.
We're just submitting all over the place.
I've even heard preachers get up,
and they've had parents submitting to their children
and just all kinds of crazy stuff.
That's not what this is saying.
You see, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
Do you see the period at the end of verse 21?
Look at the punctuation at the end of verse 20.
It's a semicolon.
So verse 21 is connected to verses 18, 19, and 20.
That's the sentence, right?
18, 19, 20, and 21 forms a sentence.
Now, the reason why it says submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God,
then it goes to wives, submit yourself.
It's because while we're on the topic of submitting,
now we're going to switch to talking about marriage,
how wives are supposed to submit to their husbands, okay?
But the submitting one to another is not talking about marriage.
It's talking about the church.
The subject was the church, right?
We all come together in the church, the church at Ephesus,
and we're singing our psalms and hymns and spiritual songs.
We're giving thanks, and we're submitting one to another in the fear of God.
Gear change.
Okay, wives, submit to your husbands.
Now, what does he mean they're submitting one to another?
We are all in the church supposed to submit one to another
because no one of us is the Lord of this flock, right?
Because even the pastor, the Bible says
that he's not to be a Lord over God's inheritance,
but he's to be an example to the flock.
So I am not a Lord over the flock.
So we are all on a level playing field.
Obviously, somebody's in charge,
but it's not the same type of authority structure that we have in marriage.
You see, when God compares the authority structure of marriage,
and he says the wives are to submit to the husbands,
he doesn't say as the church does to the pastor.
He says as the church does to who?
To Christ.
So Christ is to the church as the husband is to the wife.
But the pastor is not to the church as the husband is to the wife.
Does everybody understand?
Now, the Bible does call the pastor the ruler
and says that he rules in the house of God,
let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of double honor,
and things like that.
But there's a big difference
because I don't have authority as a pastor over your personal life.
I'm not going to come to you and tell you what to do in your personal life
and lord over you and tell you do this, do that.
The only thing that I'm actually ruling here is in the house of God.
I'm running the church.
I'm running the church service.
I'm running the operation of the church here,
but I'm not running you.
And I can't tell you what to do and all this stuff
because of the fact that you are my brother in Christ.
You're my sister in Christ.
I don't say to you,
yes, my child, and I'm Father Anderson up here.
Because that's Catholic.
And the Bible says we shouldn't be called Father or Master or Rabbi.
I'm not Father.
I'm not Master.
I'm not Rabbi.
I'm Brother Anderson, Pastor Anderson,
but I'm not Lord Anderson or whatever.
So there's a difference there.
Now, also think about this.
I remember there was a time
because the Bible says submitting one to another.
I remember there was a time when my ministry leader in my local church
that was the head of the ministry that I worked in,
he worked with me, but on the job I was his supervisor.
So when we would go to work, I'm his supervisor.
When we go to church, he's my supervisor,
and he's telling me what to do.
And then on Monday, I'm telling him what to do.
You know what that is?
That's submitting one to another.
Different situations.
Or how about this?
Let's say we go out on a soul winning trip or something,
and sometimes Chris Segura is in charge,
or Brother Garrett Cursway is in charge,
or Brother Baker's in charge,
and I might even come along on those trips and say,
okay, what do you want me to do, brother?
Right?
And then they'll tell me, hey, you go do this, you go do that.
That's submitting one to another.
You know, there could be situations where one person is heading up
a certain ministry or a soul winning time,
and then we submit to them and say,
okay, where do you need me to serve?
What do you want me to do?
But then the table could be turned a month later,
you're running a soul winning day,
or you're running a church work day,
or you're running this baby shower or that, whatever.
Then it goes both ways.
There are always times when we need to let other people lead us, right?
No matter who we are.
So we submit to one another.
We don't always vie to be the one in charge
and always be the one telling everybody what to do.
We submit to one another and sometimes we say,
okay, let's do it your way.
Let's do it your way.
Okay, you know, we'll let you run this.
You're better at this.
You know more about this.
We'll defer to you on this.
So that's in the church.
When it comes to marriage, the Bible says,
wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord.
Now I don't know what people don't understand about that
because that's a really strong statement.
You can't get any stronger than that.
You can't.
You just can't do it.
I mean, how can you make a stronger statement
about how wives are supposed to submit to your husband
than to say, do it as you would to God?
Think about that.
Submit to your husband as you submit to God.
So how submitted are you to your husband?
Well, that tells me how submitted you are to God.
Because God's the one who made this commandment.
God's the one who made this rule.
God's the one who put your husband
as your authority figure in your life.
And some women right now might even be bristling
at what I'm saying, but you know what?
It's not me that you have a problem with.
It's God.
That's what the word says.
This couldn't be any clearer.
This is not ambiguous when it says,
submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord
for the husband is the head of the wife,
even as Christ is the head of the church.
And he is the savior of the body.
Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ,
so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
What does that say?
In some things?
Well, not in that area.
Well, it says in everything.
Now, this might be a tough pill for you to swallow,
but you better swallow it because it's what the Bible says.
And, you know, I'm not trying to ruin your life here.
I'm trying to actually help you live a better life.
And look, this isn't the only scripture because, you know,
women could be racking their brain right now like,
well, what's another interpretation?
You know, there's another way that this could,
but there's plenty of other scriptures.
Titus 2 says to be obedient to their own husbands.
1 Peter 3, even as Sarah also obeyed Abraham,
calling him Lord, whose daughters you are,
as long as you do well and are not afraid with any amazement.
So the Bible is crystal clear that the wife is to submit herself to her husband.
You say, well, to what degree though?
Where do you draw the line?
Well, wherever you draw the line and your submission to the Lord,
you say that's extreme.
You're crazy.
Well, call me what you want.
I'm just reading the Bible to you and telling you what it says.
I'm not really adding anything.
It says you submit yourselves under your own husbands as under the Lord.
The husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.
So to what degree is our church submitted to Christ?
That's the degree that wives should submit to their husbands.
That's what the Bible says.
Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ,
so let the wives be to their own husbands and everything.
I mean, we say all the time that the word of God is our final authority
in all matters of faith and practice.
So let me ask this.
Is your husband the final authority in your life?
If not, you're not right with God.
Bible's pretty clear.
Then he gets on the husband.
He said, husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church
and gave himself for it that he might sanctify and cleanse it
with the washing of water by the word,
that he might present it to himself a glorious church,
not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing,
but that it should be holy and without blemish.
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.
He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh,
but nourisheth and cherishth it, even as the Lord the church.
For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother,
and shall be joined unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh.
This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife,
even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
So obviously, husbands are supposed to love their wives,
and wives are supposed to love their husbands.
It says that elsewhere in scripture.
But when it comes to the main thing that we should really focus on as husbands,
it's to love our wives, to show them love, to demonstrate that love,
and to be willing to lay down our lives for our wives.
To love them with all of our heart.
And you say, well, to what degree do you love your wife?
To the degree that Christ loved the church.
So again, that's an extremely high standard of how much love to have.
And the wife's main responsibility is to reverence her husband,
and to submit to her husband.
So obviously, both husband and wife want to feel loved.
Everybody wants to be loved.
But actually, what men need more than being loved,
is they need to be respected by their wives.
They need to be reverenced by their wives.
Even more than just feeling loved, they want to be reverenced.
And the thing is, our wives, they want to be loved.
And that's what we need to focus on with them.
Making sure they feel loved.
Making sure that they know that we love them,
and that we express that love, and demonstrate that love.
And here's the thing.
If you love your wife, you're not going to be a selfish dictator.
You're going to be a benevolent dictator.
And people say, oh, you're a dictator.
Amen.
The best form of government is a benevolent dictatorship.
That's what Jesus Christ is going to institute when he comes to this earth,
and rules with a rod of iron.
A benevolent dictatorship.
But you see, a bad leader is one who doesn't love his people.
He doesn't care about them.
All he cares about is himself, and his own power.
Look, are there husbands like that who abuse their power?
Absolutely.
And you say, oh, but what about all these husbands
who are just these tyrants and dictators,
and abuse their power, and treat their wife like a...
Oh yeah, what about all the loud-mouthed, disobedient wives?
Because both exist.
Both exist.
And you know what?
Both are wrong.
But just because your wife is a loud-mouthed, disobedient, rebellious wife,
the Bible says, love your wives.
And it says, be not bitter against them.
Meaning that when they enrage you, or anger you, or hurt you,
you are to not let the sun go down on your wrath.
And you are to not be bitter against them.
You're to love them, forgive them, as Christ forgave us.
You're to walk in kindness and love toward them,
just as Christ did for us.
That's what we do for our wives.
Even if they are rebellious, even if they are loud and stubborn,
and all the things that the Bible says that a woman should not be.
But flip that over.
Even if your husband is a jerk, even if he is a selfish tyrant,
you submit to him and reverence him.
And by the way, most people, they always want to point the finger
to the other person in the relationship when often they are the problem.
Try reverencing your husband, and watch his love for you grow.
Rebel against your husband, disrespect him,
constantly trample his ego, and constantly mouth out to him.
And you know what?
Yeah, his love is going to wane, unfortunately, because he's human.
Even though he should love you no matter what,
like Christ loves us no matter what, he's human.
And you know, you show your wife no love,
obviously, she's going to get bitter and whatever, just because she's human.
But that doesn't justify it.
So don't come out of the sermon, you know, thinking to yourself,
man, I hope my wife was listening to this, or I hope my husband's listening to this.
You know, you both need to listen.
Everybody needs to listen.
And if husbands are loving their wives, and if wives are submitting to their husbands,
you're going to have a happy marriage.
You say, well, it's 50-50.
Oh, sort of like Christ in the church is 50-50, right?
Wrong.
This 50-50 queer looking marriage where, you know, there's no boss.
We're both equal.
We both wear the pants in the family, right?
That's not God's plan.
And you know, it doesn't make anybody happy.
Feminism doesn't make women happy.
It makes them miserable.
And the women who scream the loudest for their feminism are the ones who need to be put in
their place the most.
On the inside, they're actually crying out, please, please, would you put me in my place?
Would you please lord over me?
Please rule over me.
Please draw a line in the sand.
Please put me in my place.
I'm not kidding.
Why?
They're looking for a boundary.
And on the outside, they're, I'm going to do whatever I want.
But on the inside, they're just thinking like, is he just going to keep letting me push him?
And then they're just thinking, and then when he gives in to their ultimatums and demands,
this is what they're thinking inside.
Oh, you pathetic weakling.
Oh, you loser.
They want to be told no.
Tell them no.
They love it.
It's true.
I'm not kidding.
Why?
Because it's the natural order of things.
Nobody is happy.
It's like a fish out of water.
It's like a chimpanzee on a bicycle.
When you have a husband at home and he's doing all the, his wife's out working, he's at home
doing all the chores.
And he's like, yes, dear, I'm right on it, dear.
I'll take care of her right away, dear.
You know, and he's submitting to her and she's where the best.
It's, it's completely backwards and it may look, men are miserable when they're not the
boss in their home and women are miserable when they're, they don't want to look, they
might say, oh, I want 50 50.
I want a guy I can push around.
No, they don't.
You know what?
They want a big, strong man to lead them instinctively on a visceral level.
God created all the way back to Genesis three 16, not John three 16 Genesis three 16.
It says that her husband would rule over her and that her desire would be to her husband.
Women want, despite what all the women in the media are screaming about, women actually
want to be submitted housewives.
That's their dream.
Yes.
And don't go, don't, don't get in the car and ask your wife if that's true.
You've already failed.
You need to just believe me and believe the Bible that that's true and just, just start.
And you say, well, I tried it.
My wife said no, so I backed up.
Take the bull by the horns, friend.
You got to get in there.
You got it.
You got to, uh, and I'm not saying to be a jerk.
I'm not saying to be mean.
I'm not saying to be rude.
You know, you can be the boss and be firm and lead without being mean or a jerk.
You just need to be firm.
You just need to be stern.
And the reason I'm parking on it, you say, oh, why don't you talk more about husbands
loving their wives?
But here's the thing.
Here's why.
Because we've already heard that our whole lives.
But you know what?
We haven't heard our whole lives, how wives are supposed to submit to their husbands.
That's what we've not been taught.
That's what TV's not telling us.
That's what the school system and 99% of even independent Baptist churches aren't teaching.
That's why we have to kind of park it on that and undo some wrong ideas.
Why?
It's just because I don't want your marriage to be miserable.
And you know what?
If you want to walk out of here and say that I'm wrong, go ahead because you're the one
that's going to have to dwell in the corner of the house top eating a dinner of herbs
just to get away from your brawling contentious wife.
I'm not the one that has to live with that monster.
So if you want to walk out of here and say, well, I'm going to submit to my wife.
It's going to be 50-50.
Well, you go ahead, buddy.
Enjoy.
OK?
And you know what?
Your wife is not going to be happy.
She's going to think you're a pathetic loser.
When was the last time you saw a romance novel with some submitted guy on it?
Right?
It's always some dragon slayer dude, right?
With big muscles.
And he doesn't come along and just say, hey, would it be OK if I take you out sometime?
You know, that's not what that's not even the world will tell you that, right?
You know, and you single guys take notes.
You know, when you ask a girl out on a date, you tell her, hey, here's where we're going.
Here's what we're going to do.
You take the lead.
You take charge.
You don't go, so where do you want to go?
So you have anything in mind for our date?
Pathetic loser.
That's what she's thinking.
I'm not kidding.
You know, you got to be the man.
You got to lead.
And then both husband and wife can be happy.
You know, just as the church is submitted to Christ, wives need to submit to their husband.
And this isn't about the husband's better than the wife.
I don't care if your husband has Down syndrome.
Put him in charge.
OK, this whole thing of, oh, I'm smarter, so I'm going to lead.
Oh, I'm more spiritual.
No, you're not.
If you were more spiritual, you'd obey what the Bible said.
Sick and tired of wives thinking that their husband is so unspiritual and he's just so
bad at leading.
Give him a chance to lead.
See what he can even do.
Crying out loud.
But he said, it's all summed up in this, I'm out of time, but in verse 33, nevertheless,
let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself.
This is kind of the synopsis of all these verses.
And the wife see that she reverence her husband.
What does it mean to reverence?
Well, the Bible says, for example, in Hebrews 12, it says that we should serve God acceptably
with reverence and godly fear for our gods are consuming fire.
If you study the word reverence and I encourage you and especially if you're a lady that struggles
with this or if you're a lady that's offended by this, you should go home and do a Bible
study on the word reverence in the Bible.
That's your homework assignment.
Ladies, if you if you have a problem with this, you go home and I want you to look up
every time the word reverence is used and see what it says.
And then at each mention, say, is this how I treat my husband?
Is this how I am toward my husband?
Because that's the standard.
And you say, well, my husband's not worthy of that reverence.
Well, you know what is Christ worthy?
Because do it as unto the Lord.
Right.
And you say, well, my wife's not worthy of my love.
Well, let me ask you this.
Are you worthy of Christ's love?
No, I mean, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
That's how God commands his love toward us.
So we need to just quit blaming the other person and make sure that we do our.
It's got to be from the heart, guys.
Don't just say, well, you know, I bought my wife flowers because I want to show our
love.
But here's the thing.
Women are much more perceptive than men.
And so if you even if you do the right gestures, even if you buy the meals and the flowers
and the chocolates and, you know, if it's not from the heart, they're going to see
through that.
At least I know that my wife is has like a sixth sense of perception.
She can watch.
She walks in the house is just like, there's been an accident here.
Somebody something went wrong while I was gone.
Somebody was playing with matches.
I'm like, that was three hours ago.
I mean, my wife walks in and she knows women are much more perceptive than men.
They they they have a sense of things.
So if your love's not real, if you're just going through the motions like, well, Pastor
Anderson said to give this a shot, so I'm going to try it and see if my wife starts
referencing me and calling me Lord.
You know, but here's the thing.
If the love's not real, she's going to sense that.
So you got the love has to come from the heart.
You say, well, how do I pray the Lord to help you read the Bible, get filled with the
spirit, sing the hymns and get right with God.
And, you know, think about all the reasons why you married your wife in the first place.
You know, and you must have liked something about her.
Right.
You know, and work on not acting like you love your wife.
Work on actually loving your wife.
No, really.
I mean, actually loving your wife.
And wives work on actually referencing your husband, actually having respect for him in
your heart, not just yes, sir.
You know, actually having an attitude toward him.
That's a right attitude.
Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer.